Shadow Bound Together
by bluegoldrose
Summary: The Dragomir's are alive. They weren't in the car accident with Lissa & Rose. Ivan is alive. Dimitri is his shadow-kissed guardian. Hearing about Lissa, Ivan decides to train her in spirit. What follows is a journey none of them expect.
1. Divergence

"In books they say that true love always faces obstacles. Either the lovers have different social standings, or else they were very different ages… Or, even if the lovers are a good match, their love might be ruined by war, death, or sickness, so that the affair only lasts an instant. Their time together might be as fleeting as a shadow or as short as a dream, lasting only as long as it takes a lightning bolt to flash across the sky."

-A Midsummer Night's Dream; Act 1, Scene 1; Modern Text

* * *

"Lord Ivan Zeklos is here to see yourself and Prince Eric." Alina, housekeeper to the Dragomirs, told Rhea. "He's in the lounge with his guardians."

Rhea Dragomir drew a deep breath, trying to ignore the ever increasing volume of her husband and son arguing in the nearby study. "Thank you. I'll be there shortly. Please, bring them drinks."

"Of course." Alina hurried away, leaving Rhea alone in the library.

She stood a moment later, straightening her skirt and blouse. She considered interrupting the argument, but decided that she would greet her guests first. She walked downstairs to the lounge where she found a Moroi man in his twenties seated on the sofa while two guardians stood off to the side. One of Rhea's own guardians stood nearby, observing the guests.

She gave Ivan Zeklos her best hostess smile. "Welcome, Lord Zeklos, I'm Rhea Dragomir."

He shook her hand in greeting. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Dragomir. Please, call me Ivan."

"You may call me Rhea. Eric and our son are having a conversation, though I'm certain he will be able to join us shortly."

"I understand. Thank you for welcoming me into your home."

"It's no trouble. Eric told me that you wanted to discuss something about Lissa?" Seeing Ivan's confusion she laughed. "Vasilisa, I mean. Everyone calls her Lissa."

"Yes," he said. "I suppose that I could tell you now, but it would be more efficient for me to tell the story one time."

Rhea took a seat as Alina arrived with water. Alina gave Rhea and Ivan each a glass of water before setting the pitcher, tray, and remaining glasses on a side table.

"Understandable," Rhea said. "I'm terribly sorry, I forgot to greet your guardians. Please, if either of you wish to drink, feel free."

Both of the men said a polite "thank you" from their positions along the wall. Ivan grinned at her. "It's refreshing to meet someone who shows concern for guardians. This is Dimitri Belikov, who has been my friend since we were seventeen. My other guardian is Brandon Metz, who puts up with me far more than I deserve."

The men both nodded in acknowledgement, smiling slightly.

"A pleasure to meet you both," she said. "My parents taught me to show kindness toward all people. She would say that we were all created by God and will one day all stand in the same judgment, none higher or lower than another. My daughter has also been best friends with a dhampir since they were five. One day, Rose will be Lissa's guardian." Rhea didn't mention the other reason her family was kind to dhampirs. Few knew that bit of gossip- yet.

"I do believe that I have heard about her," said Ivan. "Janine Hathaway's daughter?"

"Yes, that would be Rose." Rhea couldn't suppress the motherly smile which emerged at the thought of Rose. The girl was wild and impetuous, but she was utterly devoted to Lissa. Rhea had watched both girls grow up, side by side. She couldn't imagine them ever being apart. She was so glad that they had survived the car accident, and the recent attempt on their safety by Victor Dashkov.

A door slammed, causing everyone in the room to tense. Shouting was heard in the direction of the slammed door, along with the sound of a baby crying. Rhea blanched. "Excuse me for a moment."

She left the room at a quick but dignified pace. God only knew what impression they were making upon Ivan Zeklos. She drew a deep breath as she reached her husband and son. Andre was shouting while Eric was doing his best to keep his tone level. They broke off at her approach, though Andre was clearly seething. The baby was still crying.

"Andre," she said calmly. "Perhaps you should take a quick walk to calm down. We have guests in the lounge who are expecting to speak with your father and myself."

"Fine. Deal with your guests. I'll probably go see Mia and Kevin." Andre looked pointedly at his father. "I'll try not to get her pregnant again. Not that you're one to lecture me about bastards."

Andre turned quickly away. A few moments later one of the side doors slammed shut. The baby stopped crying. Eric clenched and relaxed his fists. Rhea was frozen where she stood.

"I'm sorry," Eric whispered.

Rhea blinked back tears as she shook her head. "It's fine. I forgave you long ago."

Nearly fifteen years ago, Eric had confessed to Rhea that he had been unfaithful and that he had an illegitimate daughter- Jillian or Jill. Jill's mother had wanted the affair to remain secret, so Eric had not acknowledged Jill. Eric and Rhea had worked through that rough patch of their marriage. They chose not to tell their own children about their half-sister, and had never intended for the truth to be known.

Everything changed when Jill was ten. Her mother and step-father were killed by Strigoi. Eric was granted custody of Jill, and the family was thrown into chaos. All five Dragomirs were forced to rebalance their lives. Andre and Lissa were shocked, hurt, and angry. Jill's world was completely transformed and she was grieving her parents. Rhea was forced into the role of step-mother to a girl whose world had collapsed. Rhea was also forced to handle the looks and whispers of the royals at court. Eric had to manage his position at court while his family was in turmoil. Everything had improved over the years, but many wounds were still healing.

Rhea drew a deep breath. "He just wanted to be cruel."

"It isn't fine. He shouldn't use my poor decisions to excuse his own. He needs to learn responsibility. He's failing half of his classes. And how many children does he expect us to help him care for?"

"He only has two children, and you love them both."

He walked to her and took hold of her hand. "I do." He looked to the ceiling, eyes closed, opening them as he returned his gaze to her. "I just keep reminding myself that it could be worse. It could have been with Rose."

With a tired laugh, Rhea agreed. She was very, very thankful that Andre and Rose saw one another as if they were brother and sister. "Yes, that would definitely be a further complication."

As they were speaking, Katrina Lehman emerged from one of the nearby rooms. She was rocking her month old daughter, Violet, in her arms. "I'm sorry to cause so much trouble."

Rhea and Eric both gave her gentle smiles. "You are no trouble dear," Rhea assured her. "We love you and Violet, and you are welcome to stay here for as long as you need."

Katrina tucked stray brown hair behind her ear. "I know, thank you. Your generosity to me is more than I could have imagined. It's more than I feel like I deserve."

Rhea walked to her and laid a gentle hand on the young woman's shoulder. "You are the mother of our granddaughter. It's our responsibility to help you."

Katrina's lips twisted bitterly. "Few people say that about dhampirs."

Her words were true. Katrina was a dhampir, and a court guardian. After becoming pregnant, Katrina had been placed on desk duty by the guardian council. Katrina had moved into the house earlier in the week so that it would be easier for her to care for Violet. Most dhampirs went unrecognized by their Moroi parents, but the Dragomirs set a higher standard for their family.

Eric and Andre had been fighting about Andre's lack of responsibility toward his daughter and his sixteen month old son Kevin. Andre was no longer involved with Katrina or Mia, the mothers of his children, but that didn't excuse him from his paternal duties.

"We aren't most people," Eric told her. "We promised you a place to stay, and are happy to do that for you."

"Thank you again," Katrina said. "I should let you get to your guests."

Agreeing, Eric and Rhea left Katrina and Violet. They walked to the lounge, forcing smiles onto their faces as they entered.

"I'm terribly sorry for the delay," Eric told Ivan. "I was having a minor disagreement with our son." He shook Ivan's hand in greeting. "I'm Eric Dragomir. I assume that you are Ivan Zeklos?"

"Yes sir," Ivan said, giving them a brilliant smile. "I'm no stranger to family disagreements. I hope that everything resolves itself soon."

"I'm certain it will," Rhea lied. "Please, we have delayed you enough, do tell us what you wished to discuss."

Ivan shifted in his seat. He looked briefly at his hands before looking at Eric and Rhea, who had both taken seats across from him. "I heard about the troubles your daughter went through recently." Rhea and Eric both stiffened. "I didn't hear it through the gossip mill. I heard it from my girlfriend, Tasha Ozera. I'm certain that you know who she is, everyone does. Anyway, her nephew is dating your daughter. I hope you knew that?"

Rhea smiled, laughing softly. "Yes, we know. So, Christian told his aunt, who in turn told you?"

"Yes."

"What about our daughter's recent... troubles did you want to discuss?" She asked.

"I heard that she can heal." Ivan drew a deep breath, swallowed, then replied. "So can I."

Eric looked at him in shock. "You can?"

Ivan nodded. "The element, I'm certain you were told, is called spirit. The first of my abilities was telekinesis, which was terrifying to say the least."

He looked at the coffee table in front of him, where his empty water glass rested. He concentrated on it, levitating the glass and the cup holder beneath it. Rhea gasped. Eric shifted forward in his seat, staring at the levitating objects. The Dragomir guardians stared, wide-eyed, at the display. Ivan settled the cup on the table again.

"As I grew older and learned more abilities, I started healing. In Siberia, I met a woman who is also a spirit user. She taught me better control of my skills."

Rhea and Eric exchanged a look. If everything he said was true, their daughter wasn't alone. Eric looked back at Ivan, his face mostly neutral. "Your story is incredible, and clearly you can do some things that are beyond the control of others, but why come to us?"

"I wanted to ask your permission to teach Vasilisa control of her element. I also believe that she probably wants to know she isn't alone."

Inside, Rhea was ecstatic, but she controlled it. After all, she didn't trust people easily after Victor Dashkov's betrayal. "It would be wonderful if you could tutor Lissa. However, I am certain that you understand our reluctance to allow a stranger access to our daughter."

"I completely understand. So, I am willing to show you my healing abilities, though I will warn you that the methods may seem a bit... harsh."

Ivan looked over at Dimitri. The tall guardian raised an eyebrow, then nodded a moment later. He picked up the serving tray, set the pitcher and glasses on the side table, and sat beside Ivan. Dimitri placed the tray on his lap and drew out his stake. Rhea and Eric drew in sharp breaths. The Dragomir guardians shifted closer to their charges.

"It's going to hurt," Dimitri muttered under his breath.

"I know," Ivan told him, "but it's worth the demonstration."

"Easy for you to say."

Dimitri raked the tip of his stake across his forearm. The gash was deep. Blood welled up quickly. Rhea paled in horror. A moment later, Ivan's hand was on Dimitri. Within seconds the skin knit together again. Blood had dripped into the tray, some was still on Dimitri's arm and stake, but the wound was gone.

A servant brought Dimitri towels to wipe up the blood. When he was clean, the servant left with the bloody tray and towels.

Eventually, Eric spoke. "Well, that would be a confirmation of everything we have heard about spirit. It's incredible."

Ivan nodded. "It's an amazing gift, but it is not an easy gift to manage. Spirit takes a toll on those of us who use it. That is the reason I came to offer my help to your daughter. I know the struggles she is facing with spirit, and I want to help."

Eric and Rhea exchanged glances, and nodded. Eric was the one to speak. "I will check with the school to see if you can be cleared to teach Vasilisa. I do hope that you won't make your guardian perform any further displays."

Ivan laughed. "I won't. And believe me, he won't let me forget this."

* * *

"Are you two ready to spend the next few months on an easy assignment?" Ivan asked Brandon and Dimitri as they were escorted into the administration building at St. Vladimir's Academy.

"Easy?" Brandon asked.

"You don't think that being at an academy is easier than traveling the world with me?"

Dimitri shrugged. "It may be more secure, and we may have more structured schedules, but our work still won't be easy."

"If you say so."

They were processed through administration with ease. The most difficult part was choosing if they would share a suite or all be housed separately. After a brief discussion, the three men agreed to a three bedroom apartment in guest housing. Brandon left to setup the room while Ivan and Dimitri went with a guardian named Celeste to meet Vasilisa Dragomir.

"They're in here." Celeste told them as they walked to a lounge in the same building. Her blonde, chin-length hair bounced as she walked briskly through the hallways. "I hope you can help, they've been through a lot."

"You mean with Dashkov?" Ivan asked.

She hesitated before answering. "Yes, the incident last month with Victor was terrible for us all. I'm sure they'll tell you more when they're ready. Or administration will fill you in tomorrow when your schedules are settled."

She opened the door without further conversation. Inside were three Moroi and one dhampir. One of the Moroi was male. He lay with his head on the lap of a blonde Moroi girl. The other Moroi girl and the dhampir girl were seated on a different couch. They turned toward the door when it opened.

"Here you are," said Celeste. "If you need anything, I'm certain that they can help you, or you can ask any staff member." She turned, and left.

Ivan knew Christian, the young man sprawled on the couch, which meant that the blonde girl was Vasilisa. Ivan briefly glanced at the auras of the four and saw the shadows around the dhampir girl.

Christian smiled at them. "Hey Ivan, Dimitri."

"Manners Ozera," Ivan chastised with a laugh.

Christian rolled his eyes, shifting so that he was sitting. He introduced the girls, indicating them with his hands. "This is Lissa or Vasilisa Dragomir. Rose Hathaway, her shadow. And Jill Mastrano-Dragomir- Lissa's sister."

"It's a pleasure to meet the three of you. I'm Ivan Zeklos, and this is Dimitri Belikov, one of my guardians." He looked directly at Rose, watching the shadows dance around her. "Rose, you and Dimitri have something in common, you're both shadow kissed."

Rose, who had been staring at Dimitri since he walked into the room, briefly looked between Ivan and Dimitri. "How do you know that?"

Ivan smiled, taking a seat nearby. Dimitri sat next to him, his eyes watching everything. "Auras," he said. "Do you know what those are?"

Rose shook her head.

Lissa answered tentatively. "Aren't auras rings of light around people? I thought that was just some new age thing."

"No. Well, yes, they are rings of light around people. However, they aren't just a new age thing. Some spirit users can read the colors around a person and learn a great deal about that individual. People who are shadow kissed have a black ring around their aura."

Rose looked at Ivan, realizing what he had said. "You've met another spirit user, haven't you?"

"Yes, in Siberia. She is from Dimka's hometown. She also has a shadow kissed bond mate."

Rose wrinkled her nose. "Dimka?"

Dimitri chuckled. "It's a nickname for Dimitri."

Jill spoke up, changing the topic. "Dad told us that you heard about Lissa's abilities through Christian's aunt?"

"Yes," Ivan answered. "She's my girlfriend."

"I told Aunt Tasha about everything that happened with Victor last month. She gets concerned when people attack me and my friends."

Jill's brows were furrowed in thought. "So she knew that you can heal? But Christian never knew?"

Ivan nodded. "Yes. I try to keep it a secret. There are so few people out there with spirit and there are so many dangers to the element that most of us hide our abilities. I told Tasha shortly after we began dating, and she has kept it a secret."

Rose was biting her lip, eyes fixed on Dimitri. "How did you die?"

"Defending Ivan from Strigoi," he replied evenly. "We fought the Strigoi, but one killed me. Ivan realized what had happened..." His voice trailed off.

Ivan finished for him. "Some part of me reached out and saved him. What's your story?"

Rose's reply was quick and simple. "Car accident. A school guardian was driving us to Missoula. The car slid off the road and crashed."

"Healing Rose just felt necessary. I can't explain how I knew to do it, but the magic in me knew how to save her."

They were all quiet for a long time. Ivan broke the silence. "Do you want me to teach you what I know?" It was why they had come, and the Dragomirs had approved it, but Ivan knew that he had to ask.

"More than anything!" Lissa lit up for a moment, but then her face fell. "Only, I'm on an antidepressant right now. I'm blocked from the magic."

"That's fine," Ivan told her. "I understand the dangers of spirit. I understand the toll it takes on our minds. I'm certain that there is a lot I can teach you by just talking to you. If and when you are ready to learn more, we can talk to your parents and psychiatrist about taking you off the medication."

Lissa gave an enthusiastic nod. Rose wasn't thrilled by the idea. "How do you manage the negative side of spirit?"

Ivan and Dimitri exchanged a look. "Balance," Ivan replied. "I also learned to make healing charms."

Lissa's eyes went wide. "You can make healing charms?"

"Yes and I can do quite a few other things." Ivan glanced between Dimitri and Rose. "Dimka, why don't you talk to Rose about being shadow kissed while I talk to Lissa about spirit?"

Rose jumped up. "Sounds good to me."

"Me too," Lissa agreed. "See you in the morning?"

"Of course," said Rose. She gave Jill and Lissa quick hugs before walking to the door. Dimitri stood, walking out of room with Rose.

They were outside in the crisp November air when Rose started the conversation. "So, how long have you been shadow kissed?"

"Five years," he replied. "You?"

"The accident will be one year ago in February." She drew her arms around herself, shivering.

"Are you cold?"

She shook her head. "No." They walked a few more paces in silence before she continued. "I was thinking about the accident. The guardian who was driving us died. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I died in the accident as well. I've been here, at the academy, since I was four. Guardian Martins had been here for as long as I can remember. He was so nice, and always gave us candies when we were little. He was my mentor..."

A strangled sound escaped her lips. "When I woke up, after the accident, Lissa had passed out. I now know that she had passed out from healing me. Jill was trapped on the other side of Lissa, but she was safe. I could move around enough to touch him, but... he was dead... his... his head..." She couldn't finish the sentence.

"The accident severed his head?"

She nodded, wiping at the tears on her face.

"I'm sorry," Dimitri said, his voice low and gentle. "No one should have to see that, especially someone so young."

She drew a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I screamed and Guardian Williams, Celeste, found the phone and called for help. We were lucky that we were so close to Missoula when the accident happened. Any further away and there would have been no cell signal."

She shivered again before continuing the story. "When they got Lissa, Jill, and I out of the car, they were amazed we were alive. Jill had the least amount of injury, other than me. She's not shadow kissed, but we think that Lissa might have unintentionally healed her as well."

He reached to her, gently squeezing her arm. "Spirit is a miracle. It saved both of us."

"Yeah," she agreed. She decided to move the topic away from the accident. She didn't want to think about that horrible day anymore. "So, what's it like for you to be shadow-kissed? Do you get randomly sucked into Ivan's head? Is there anything I don't know about yet?"

He chuckled. "I'm certain that we could talk for a long time about being shadow kissed. For your first question, I used to find myself in Ivan's head when I least expected it. I have learned to control those moments. You will learn that control in time. Lissa can learn to silence the bond from her side as well."

"Really?"

"Really."

She chewed on her lip. She wanted to learn more about being shadow kissed, but she was also curious about Dimitri and his skills as a guardian. "So, how old are you?"

"I will be twenty-five next week."

She flashed him a pretty smile. "Well, if you and Ivan are still around, maybe we can celebrate?"

He returned her smile. "I believe that we are planning to stay here for the foreseeable future. Ivan and Lissa will have a lot of work to do. You probably shouldn't encourage Ivan with the idea of a party."

"Oh come on comrade, everyone loves to feel special on their birthday."

He raised an eyebrow. "Comrade?"

She shrugged. "It suits you."

"Do you come up with nicknames for everyone?"

Giggling, she gave him her best mischievous grin. "All the time."

He shook his head, clearly amused. "Is there anything else you want to know tonight?"

"Everything," she said with a laugh. Pursing her lips, she thought for a few moments. "What did you and Ivan mean about balance?"

Dimitri stared off into the distance. Wind blew strands of his shoulder length brown hair across his face. "The darkness and instability that grows in your bond mate can be pulled into you. You can do it intentionally or unintentionally. If you aren't careful to balance the darkness, it can lead to very negative consequences."

Their eyes met. "Balance," she whispered, afraid. He nodded. Something in his expression told her that there was more to being shadow kissed that he had yet to tell her. "I think that's enough before I go to bed." She motioned toward her dorm. "That's my stop. Thank you for walking me."

He gave her a small smile. "It was my pleasure. I'm certain that we'll see one another tomorrow."

She grinned. "I look forward to it. Well, good night."

"Good night," he replied. He turned from her and walked away as she entered her dormitory.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _This story is dark, very dark. There are graphic descriptions of violence, including Strigoi POVs, and there is some sexual content. There are also some serious issues brought up throughout the story, some are depicted while others are discussed. I'll post warnings at the start of chapters when there is potentially disturbing content. I'll post once every two weeks for the next few weeks so that I don't run out of pre-written chapters. Critiques are welcomed :)_


	2. Learning

The bottle moved across the room with ease. When it settled on the table, Ivan released the breath he had been holding and laughed. "Telekinesis."

Lissa, Christian, Jill, and Rose clapped and laughed. Dimitri merely rolled his eyes, as did Brandon. They were gathered in Ivan, Dimitri, and Brandon's guest apartment. Classes were over for the day.

Ivan raised an eyebrow as he looked at his guardians. "Come on you two. They haven't seen telekinesis before. I am here to teach Vasilisa about her element."

"I know," Dimitri agreed. "That doesn't mean you need to show off so much."

"Why have an element and not show off with it? You've seen Tasha and Christian show off with fire."

Dimitri didn't soften as he looked at his bond mate. "Fire doesn't drive its users insane."

Ivan rolled his eyes.

Rose interrupted their bickering. "Hey now, no fighting."

"We weren't," Ivan assured her. "Anyway, we need to tell you the good news. Lissa, I am now your official tutor. Your normal class time with Ms. Carmack will now be spent with me."

Lissa was bouncing in her seat. "That's great! How long will you be staying?"

"Until you graduate in the summer."

She squealed in delight as she launched herself toward Ivan, hugging him fiercely. "Thank you, thank you so much." Reddening, she disentangled herself from the older Moroi. "Sorry."

He gave her a warm smile. "It's fine. I know how much it means to find someone else who uses spirit." His expression shifted as he looked at Christian. "Take it easy. I'm dating your aunt, not your girlfriend."

Rose began to laugh, seeing Christian's jealousy and embarrassment. Jill was stifling her giggles.

"It's not funny," Christian muttered under his breath.

Rose looked at him. "Actually, it really is." She gave Lissa an apologetic shrug before looking over at Dimitri. "So, what are you going to be doing while Ivan is teaching Lissa?"

"Brandon and I will be working with the campus guardians. We'll be staying here in guest housing with Ivan. Also, I have been assigned as your mentor."

Rose's eyes went wide. "Seriously?"

Dimitri nodded. "Yes. Since you missed almost half of your school year last year, and had the trouble with Victor this year, they thought it would help to assign you a new dedicated mentor. They also thought that it would give us more time to discuss being shadow kissed."

A broad smile lit up Rose's face. "That is awesome!" She walked over to him, but didn't throw herself into his arms like Lissa had done to Ivan. "So, are you going to teach me how to be the world's best guardian?"

Dimitri gave her a small smile. "I can try."

She stepped back, mock offense on her face. "What? Don't you think I'm good enough to be the best in the world?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I haven't seen you fight yet."

She tilted her head to the side. "Well then, why don't we go to the gym while they practice magic?"

"Alright," his eyes sparkled with amusement. "Let's go."

They excused themselves from the apartment and began walking toward the gym. When they had passed the guest housing buildings, Rose turned, stepping in front of Dimitri. "How do you know about us being pulled from school or anything with Victor?" There was a sharp edge in her voice, fierce and protective.

He looked a bit sheepish. "Headmistress Kirova and Guardian Petrov briefed Ivan, Brandon, and myself on your school records today."

Her eyes narrowed. "Seriously? You show up and get to learn all about our lives just because Lissa and Ivan share a rare element?"

"We didn't learn all about your lives, we only learned relevant information in your school records. I don't know the whole reason behind why you were taken out of school. I only know that two months after the accident, the Dragomirs pulled you and Vasilisa out of school and you were returned here this school year."

Rose shifted uneasily. She could see that he wanted to know why, but that he wasn't going to push the matter. She didn't want to talk about it. "Yeah, they did."

His next words caught her off guard. "I was surprised to learn that the Dragomirs are your legal custodians. I know who your mother is..."

Her lips twisted into a bitter smile. "Then you know that being a guardian matters more to her than being a mother. The last time I saw her was when I was fourteen. We were at the Dragomir Estate in New York. It's out on Long Island. I gave my mom a hug at the door and she left."

"Is that when she gave them custody of you?"

She shook her head and began walking toward the gym again. "No. She gave them custody of me when I was nine or ten. It was easier for them to take me out of school or to go on trips with Lissa if they didn't have to ask for permission. They still tell my mom where I am and all that, but there aren't any snags getting me out of school this way."

"That makes sense. I'm sorry about you and your mother's relationship."

She shrugged. "It's fine. Lissa's parents treat me like I'm their daughter. They took us out of class last year because we were both having a hard time adjusting after the accident. Lissa's issues were due to spirit while mine were from the accident and spirit. They put us in one of their private cabins, gave us tutors and therapists, and kept us safe. We wanted to come back to school. We thought that we had nothing to worry about anymore. Eric and Rhea also wanted everyone to see how fine and upstanding their daughter was, since Andre has been causing so many issues, and Jill is illegitimate."

"Andre Dragomir has another child, doesn't he?"

"Violet, the most adorable dhampir baby since I was one." Her tone was light and easy.

"A dhampir?"

"Yeah, Katrina Lehman is the mother. She's a guardian at court. She and the baby are living with the Dragomirs. Andre's Moroi son and ex-girlfriend also live at court."

He took a few moments to respond. "We heard the baby crying when we were at their home. I didn't realize that the baby was a dhampir."

"That's why it's been kept so quiet. Everyone knows about Kevin, Andre's son, but a dhampir... well, you know how most people treat us."

"The Dragomirs don't treat dhampirs like second-class citizens," he observed.

"No, they don't. I want Eric to be king when Tatiana retires. He'd be good for our people."

"I think you may be right."

She looked at him, grinning. He returned her smile. She looked away as her cheeks began to turn pink. They continued talking about lighter subjects until they reached the gym.

Inside, they warmed up before walking to the padded sparring area. He stood, feet apart and hands ready to strike. His face was a mask, though his eyes watched her like a hawk. She lunged toward him, and he pinned her to the mats before she saw him move.

"How?" She groaned.

He smirked, still pressing her against the mats. "I have few more years of training than you, and real world experience." He shifted off of her, helping her to stand with him.

"I'm supposed to graduate in the summer. How can I defend Lissa if I can't take on a guardian?"

"Well, it is my job to train you."

Her eyes narrowed. "Ok then comrade, train me."

* * *

Two days after arriving, Dimitri began observing the combat classes. He didn't think the novices were being trained hard enough. Having been killed by Strigoi, even though he had been at the top of his class at St. Basil's, it seemed a sensible concern.

After a few more days of watching the combat classes, he realized that Rose was never partnered with one novice. At first he had thought it accidental, until two weeks after Dimitri arrived at St. Vladimir's. The novices had paired off as usual, leaving Rose and Mason Ashford face to face. They shifted uncomfortably in front of one another.

A moment later, Meredith Crane left her partner and walked to Rose and Mason. "I'll switch with you."

They both gave her grateful looks.

Ryan Aylesworth looked over at them with a smirk. "Why don't you want to be paired together? I thought you liked touching each other?"

Rose glared at Ryan. A moment later, she was running at him. She kicked him in the gut, and he landed on the ground with a thud. Before anyone could intervene, Mason tackled Ryan and punched him. Eddie Castile pulled Mason away. Dimitri grabbed Rose before she could continue the attack. A different instructor pulled Ryan up off the floor, and led him to the other side of the room.

"Stop!" Dimitri hissed in her ear. He could feel Rose shaking as she struggled to break free.

"Let me go. I won't go after him. I'm not stupid."

Dimitri relaxed his hold on Rose as the guardian in charge of the class called out the names of the three students. "Aylesworth, go to the clinic. We need to make sure Hathaway and Ashford didn't do serious damage."

"He's wearing padding," Rose muttered under her breath.

"Hathaway, Ashford, you're both serving detentions at the end of the school day. Report back here when your classes are done."

"Yes, sir." Rose and Mason both replied.

Dimitri looked inquisitively at Rose, but she shook her head. The students resumed their training. Rose partnered with Meredith while Mason partnered with another student. Ryan's former partner now paired with one of the guardians. The group of novices all seemed uncomfortable throughout the entire session.

When Dimitri was on break later in the day, Brandon told Dimitri more details.

"So, I heard that your protégé got into trouble today."

Dimitri raised an eyebrow. Brandon was a bit older than Dimitri and Ivan. He was also far more social than Dimitri had ever been. He didn't doubt that Brandon had been able to learn this bit of news so quickly.

"Did you?" Dimitri replied drily.

"Apparently Rose dated the Ashford boy last year. From what I've heard, it didn't end well. The other novices usually keep them apart so that things don't get awkward."

"So why did Ryan provoke them?"

Brandon shrugged. "They're teenagers. It's not like everyone in a class gets along with everyone else. I didn't get along with everyone in my class and I'm sure you didn't get along with everyone in yours."

Dimitri smirked a little. "No, I didn't."

"If I remember right, Ivan said you once got into a pretty good fight with a Moroi guy over a girl."

"Ivan talks too much," Dimitri muttered.

"Do I get to learn more?"

Dimitri sighed, chuckling a little as he recalled the incident. "Her name is Sabina, and she is a Moroi. She was dating me and another guy at the same time, and like idiots we fought each other over her. Little did we know, she had a third boyfriend. She dropped us both and went with the third guy."

Brandon started laughing. "She must have been something to look at."

Dimitri laughed too. "She was stunning. I got a month of detentions for that fight, and nothing to show for it. My sisters called me an idiot for fighting over a faithless girl. They were right."

"My mother always told me that a beautiful body will never please you for as long as a beautiful mind."

"And do you agree with her advice?"

Brandon's blue eyes danced with amusement. "Well, I think the trick is to find the two in the same person. I'm also pretty sure she told me that so I would use my brain when it came to women."

A sly smile spread across Dimitri's lips. He knew a few rumors of his own. "So does Celeste meet both criteria?"

"You know about that?" Brandon wasn't even surprised. He and Celeste had been spending a considerable amount of time together over the past week.

"It's not like you two are exactly subtle about spending your off duty time together."

Fondness radiated from Brandon. "Yeah, that's true. And yes, she does match the criteria for both the beautiful body and wonderful mind. You could try finding someone too. It's been a long time since you had a girlfriend. There are a few single guardians and other staff members. Get to know them, have fun."

"What's the point? We'll leave at the end of the school year."

"The point is to enjoy the time we have." Brandon said sagely. He stood, ready to go back on duty. "We can die any time. You know that more than most."

Dimitri considered his partner's words for several moments before returning to his own duties.

* * *

Dimitri trained Rose after her detention that day. They ran laps, then they practiced staking. This was her third time training with stakes. Her mind wasn't in it.

"Stop," he ordered. "You're distracted."

She set the stake down and began pacing. "It was that stupid detention. They made Ryan come too because his comment was considered inappropriate. So, Ryan, Mason, and I were forced to serve detention together. It sucked."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"What exactly?"

"The reason you and Mason attacked Ryan."

She stopped pacing, sighed, and walked back to Dimitri. "Mason and I dated last year. I thought I loved him, but everything got complicated after the accident. I broke up with him a day before Lis and I left. It sucks. We used to be really close friends, for years before we dated. We don't even talk now. So it doesn't help when people like Ryan bring up the topic."

She picked up the stake again, studying it. She knew that her future lay in protecting Lissa. "I can't afford to be distracted by things like this in the field though."

"No, you can't."

She turned the stake in her hand. "Did you ever have someone who distracts you?"

"You have to be more specific. I have several people who distract me, one of whom I'm sworn to protect."

She looked up at him, smiling at the humor in his tone. There was an edge of nervousness when she replied. "I meant, well, have you had a relationship?"

"Not for a long time," he answered vaguely.

"Not for a long time?" Her tone was teasing. She tossed her ponytail over a shoulder. "Come on comrade, you heard my life story. I want to hear more about yours."

He considered her for a few moments before answering. "The most serious was Sveta. She left me two years ago because she wanted to have children."

"She was a dhampir?"

He nodded, looking away. "She lives in my home town and has a son now."

She touched his arm. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "It's the way of our world. If dhampirs want children, they have to be with Moroi."

"I know." Her sympathy transformed into sarcasm. "I've been a dhampir my whole life. I know how it works." She stuck out her tongue.

He laughed. "Come on, back to training."

Dimitri watched Rose train. She was a quick study, and was very dedicated to learning how to be a good defender for her friend and bond mate. They spent their sessions honing her skills. They also spent the time talking about being shadow kissed. She seemed to have a grim resignation to each revelation he gave her about spirit bonds.

"So... ghosts are real?" Rose was looking very skeptically at Dimitri while they walked around campus. For some reason, walking while they talked about spirit made the conversations easier.

"Yes."

"So why can't I see them?"

He considered the question for a few moments before answering. "I don't know. I started seeing them a few weeks after being restored. We were already in Baia, where I grew up, visiting with Mark and Oksana."

"They're the couple who are bonded, right?"

"Yes. Oksana had taught Ivan a lot about spirit, but we didn't need to learn much about being shadow kissed until I was restored. Mark taught us about being shadow kissed. He can see the ghosts as well, and he taught me that willpower is the only thing needed to keep them away. If I want, I can call them. Ghosts can't usually get inside of wards, but they do sometimes."

"What is it like? Talking to the ghosts?"

"Other than a pain in your head like it's going to explode, it's horrible. You see people as they were when they died. They all want something. We shadow kissed are anomalies. We touched death, but returned to life."

A chill ran down Rose's spine. She remembered Guardian Martins as she had last seen him in the car. She never wanted to see that again. She didn't even want to remember it. Did his ghost still walk the world? And why didn't she see ghosts yet?

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Hope you liked it! This was another building chapter. There are outlined around 38 chapters, and written 12ish. I think this is the shortest of the chapters._

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting, you make me smile._

 _I would love a beta reader, and critiques are welcomed :)_


	3. Gossip

Three weeks after arriving at the Academy, Ivan convinced Dimitri to join him in one of the staff lounges. Brandon and Ivan had both been spending time in the staff lounges to socialize, but Dimitri would often withdraw to his room when he wasn't on duty. After a considerable amount of persuasion by Ivan and Brandon, Dimitri relented and joined them.

There were several staff lounges on campus, a few were in the academic buildings for breaks during the school day, and the others were in the staff housing areas. They entered the staff lounge near the novice dorms.

Celeste welcomed them with a smile. "Belikov, you finally joined us."

"We made him," said Ivan.

"You didn't make me. I just grew tired of being asked constantly."

"We're glad to have you with us," said Kelly. She was a math teacher for the elementary students.

"We're just starting a new game of pool if you want to join?" Greg suggested. He taught Russian for all grade levels.

Dimitri and Brandon both agreed to play pool. A third guardian partnered with Dimitri and Brandon against Celeste, Kelly, and Greg. Ivan chose to join another group of guardians, teachers, and staff playing poker.

After a few rounds of pool and a few hands of poker, the groups mingled. Some played new games, watched television, or left for their rooms. Other guardians arrived as their shifts ended, ready to unwind with their co-workers.

Dimitri enjoyed getting to know his new colleagues. It was interesting to learn the perspectives of this group of people who lived most of the year at the academy. Their gossip and news was different than the gossip and news which could be found in the circles where Ivan normally associated.

"How is Hathaway doing under your instruction?" Celeste asked. They were sitting in the couches now, talking more than anything else. She sat beside Brandon. They would lean against one another once in a while.

"She's talented," Dimitri said.

"I can't believe you get her to listen." Isaac, another guardian, commented. "She's always in trouble."

Dimitri smiled a little. "She listens when she finds something interesting, but she's very impatient."

"Alto gave her detention again today," said Danvers.

Ivan looked up from a game of chess. "What did she do?"

"She has an unerring ability not to hold her tongue. She told Stan her opinion in terms that were less than appropriate." Celeste gave a weary sigh. "That girl is one of our best fighters, but her temper is never going to do her any favors. The Dragomirs adore her, which is one of her saving graces. I can't imagine her getting a long term placement with anyone else after graduation. She has no sense of discipline."

"Maybe I can teach her discipline." Dimitri suggested.

"I hope so," said Celeste. Dimitri could see that Celeste genuinely cared about Rose. From their first day on campus, Dimitri had seen how much Celeste worried over Rose, Lissa, and Jill. They had been in the same car accident, and Celeste had done her best to protect the girls.

Brandon gave her an easy smile before grinning at Dimitri. "He's got more discipline than most of us. If anyone can help smooth out Rose's rough edges, it'll be him."

A few of the other guardians and Moroi teachers laughed lightly. Dimitri realized then that some of the people in the room had been at the school most or all of Rose's life. He wondered how many of them had given up on Rose over the years.

Throughout the course of their first three weeks at St. Vladimir's, Dimitri and Ivan had learned a considerable amount of gossip about their charges. Ivan was told bits from the staff in the lounge. Dimitri learned gossip in the lounge, on patrol, in the gyms, and in guardian meetings.

Dimitri had learned that Rose had quite the reputation on campus. She was considered short tempered, impertinent, a flirt, and a trouble maker. There were stories about Rose that ranged from normal teenage pranks to scandalous acts that may not have been entirely true.

Rumors about her being involved with half the males in her grade abounded, but from the way the students acted, it was clear that Rose had only been seriously involved with one person- Mason Ashford. Since her return to St. Vladimir's in September, Rose hadn't dated anyone. She barely had a social life. She was still obstinate and quick tempered, but she wasn't as vibrant as she had once been.

There were an abundance of rumors about the Dragomir children as well. Andre had been a senior when he had been involved with Mia Rinaldi, a freshman. They had already broken up by the time she told him that she was pregnant and going to keep the baby. After some fighting between Andre and his parents, Mia and her parents were moved to court. The entire matter had been the source of gossip among the royals ever since.

Lissa was always been private and reserved. At age seven, she had attached herself to Rose, and the girls had been inseparable ever since. Charismatic, as was common among spirit users, she was well liked by her classmates. After Andre graduated, she ingratiated herself with the royal cliques in order to bring a positive image to her family's name. Her relationship with Christian Ozera had lowered her popularity, but she did still have people vying for her favor. She had dated two different royal boys before Christian. She began dating Christian shortly after returning to school in September, though they had become friends before the accident.

Jill had always been a friendly, though socially awkward, girl. Growing up at the Academy, she always had a circle of close friends. When her mother and stepfather were killed, her social standing at the school changed. She went from a regular Moroi girl to one of the few Dragomirs in the world. Other Moroi often vied for her favor and attention, so that they might rise high in Moroi society.

Jill alternated between enjoying the attention and hating it. Her refuge from the stresses of royal life was in performing. Jill was part of every activity on campus involving dance, theater, and music. She threw herself into performing, and excelled.

Jill also quietly pursued learning to fight. Rose had started teaching Jill physical defense when the girls were still young- thirteen and ten respectively. As they grew older, Jill had begun experimenting with her element- water. Eric and Rhea did not know that Jill was learning to fight, but Andre and Lissa both knew.

Dimitri, Ivan, and Brandon only learned about Jill fighting when Christian let it slip one day. The three men agreed to keep it a secret if they oversaw Jill and Christian learning their elements. The students agreed, and Jill invited her boyfriend, Evan Badica, to train as well.

So, as November gave way to December, they fell into a regular routine for training. Lissa and Ivan trained with spirit during school hours. Dimitri and Rose trained for two hours after school. Three times a week, Christian, Jill, and Evan practiced fighting with their elements.

"Ok, that's impressive." Christian said. They were a short walk from guest housing, in one of the gardens. There was a small pond at the center of the garden, and trees surrounded them. This was where they practiced with the elements.

Jill grinned. She had formed ice from water, and impaled a tree with the spike. "Think I can take on a Strigoi yet?"

"I'd rather you not try." Evan Badica said.

Jill's smile faltered. "Well, if I need to defend myself, then what do you think?"

"I think that I would be afraid to face you if I were a Strigoi," Ivan said. He gave her a gentle smile. "However, I do agree with your boyfriend that you are safer not trying."

Jill raised her hand, pulling more water from the pond and forming it into a spike. She launched the spike at the tree, sinking it deep into the wood.

Rose walked to the tree, examining the splinters around the melting ice. "Well, it could definitely kill something. Evan, why don't you try one of your moves?"

Evan smirked briefly before focusing. The ground began to shake, then roll.

"Enough." Brandon commanded. The ground stopped shaking. "Good job. You've gotten stronger."

Pleasure at the compliment shone on Evan's face. "Practice makes perfect."

"You'll have to practice for a long time then," said Christian.

"Christian!" Lissa scolded.

Christian shrugged, creating a ball of flame in his hand and throwing it into the pond. "It was a good comeback."

Lissa changed the subject before the boys could begin fighting. "You're both very talented. Why don't we go back inside? It's cold."

"You're all welcome to come back to the apartment," Ivan suggested. "Today was very productive, but I'm sure you're all cold."

They agreed. Christian and Evan glanced at one another warily, but were pulled apart by their girlfriends. Rose and Dimitri walked at the back of the group.

A troubled expression clouded Rose's face. Dimitri looked at her, seeing the way she watched Lissa. "What's wrong?"

She continued watching Lissa for a moment before looking at Dimitri with a sigh. "Lissa is sad."

"Can you talk about it?"

"Yeah, it's not a bond secret." They had decided that some things they would not talk about to protect the privacy of Lissa and Ivan, referring to those things as 'bond secrets'. "She wants to come off the medication. She's happy with everything she has learned, and with all the progress everyone has made. She's just frustrated that she can't practice anything Ivan is telling her. She asked her parents, but they're waiting until the Christmas break to have an in person discussion."

"Do you feel ready for her to be off the medication?"

"I don't know. I think so? I think I can handle the increase in darkness. We have you and Ivan to teach us balance. But... how can I effectively be her guardian when I still get sucked into her head against my will?"

"Practice."

She glanced toward Christian and Evan. "How long do I have to practice to be perfect?"

He laughed. "Keep training as hard as you've been and you'll be one of the best guardians in the world one day."

She smiled at him, her cheeks grew warm. "I... thanks, but I don't know if I believe that."

"Why not?"

"Well, there are so many really good guardians out there. You're one of the best I've seen, but you died. My mom is..." She sighed. "My mom is supposedly a great guardian, but she abandoned me to the school."

He stopped walking, allowing the distance between them and their friends to grow. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I just keep thinking that I want more. Why do the Moroi get to live their own lives while we don't? I love Lissa and her family. I want to be her guardian. I'm bound to her. I just... I'm confused. Haven't you ever wanted more?"

He looked at Ivan, then at Rose. "What I want doesn't matter. They come first."

She sighed. "I know." She held his gaze, giving him a sly smile. "You didn't answer my question again."

"I know." There was something almost sad in his eyes as he looked at her. "Come on, let's go."

She grudgingly followed.

In the apartment, they drank hot chocolate, tea, and cider. Jill curled next to Evan on an oversized chair. Lissa and Christian settled in a similar position on a couch. Rose looked at the seat beside Dimitri, but settled across from him. Ivan took that seat instead, and Brandon sat near Rose.

Evan looked at Ivan. "So, are you going back to court for Christmas."

Ivan shook his head. "No. My family doesn't know what to do when I bring my girlfriend around, and I was planning to spend the holidays with her and Christian. Unless you're going to be with Lissa for Christmas?" He directed the last question to Christian.

"I don't know," said Christian. He looked at Lissa.

"Mom and dad haven't decided what we're doing yet," answered Lissa. "We might go to court because Kevin and Violet are there, but mom and dad might just come here to escape the drama of court."

"How did you wind up with Christian's aunt," asked Evan.

Ivan seemed amused by the question. "There was this get together in Paris about four years ago hosted by an Ozera lord. We were both invited. We met, and we talked."

"For hours." Brandon teased.

Ivan ignored him. "A few months later we decided to start dating. We kept it secret for a year. My family wasn't happy when they found out, but they've learned to deal with it."

"Just like my parents have come to accept me being with Christian." Lissa said.

"Yeah, but he's Queen Ekaterina's grandson," said Evan, gesturing toward Ivan.

Rose looked at Ivan in shock. "What? Is he serious?"

Ivan shrugged. "Yes. I spent my childhood in the palace until Queen Tatiana was elected. I'm the youngest of her grandchildren."

"What does Ekaterina think about you dating Christian's aunt?" Rose asked. "I've heard that Tasha isn't all that welcome among the royals."

"Grandmother likes her. My parents have given up on me. My sister is a brat. My aunts, uncles, and cousins all have various thoughts on the matter. I don't care what they think."

Jill smiled. "That's so sweet. So, are you going to marry her one day?"

Ivan was grinning, and he nearly laughed at Christian's inquiring expression. "I think I'll have to have that discussion with her first."

* * *

Rhea Dragomir set down her grandson. Kevin Rinaldi-Dragomir toddled to his mother, who picked him up with a smile. Rhea had been watching him most of the day so that Mia could work on her schoolwork and her parents could go to their jobs. Rhea was proud of Mia. The girl had shown a remarkable ability to rise above the difficulties of being a teenage mother.

"How was he today?"

"Good. He's still not used to there being another baby in the house, but he's adapting."

"Oh yeah, how's Violet?"

"She's healthy and growing fast."

Mia grinned at her son. "They all do that. Is Andre back at college?"

"Yes," Rhea sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault that he'd rather have everyone else raise his kids." Her bitter tone eased as she looked at Rhea. "You and Eric are wonderful. I'm so grateful for everything you have done for me and my family."

"You and your family are part of my family. You know that you only have to ask, and we'll give you whatever you need."

Mia nodded. "Thank you, again."

"How are your studies going?"

"Good, really good actually. I should be able to graduate early thanks to the accelerated classes I'm taking."

"That's wonderful! Do you know what you want to do after you graduate?"

Mia looked away, setting down her squirming toddler. "Well, I don't really know."

"You know that we are willing to pay for your education, if you wish to pursue a degree."

"I don't know how to manage it with him." She motioned toward her son. "I want to study medicine, but it's so much schooling and very expensive."

Rhea rested a hand on Mia's shoulder. "You can take your time to decide. If you want to become a doctor, we will help you with that. You could always wait a couple years until he is old enough for the academies before you go to college."

Bringing her hand up to squeeze Rhea's, the girl smiled. "Thank you. I'll be sure to let you know when I have made any decisions."

"Of course dear." Rhea looked at her watch, and frowned. "I have to go. Social obligations wait for no one. Take care dear." She looked toward Kevin, smiling. "Bye bye Kevin."

The boy waved to her, saying goodbye as best he could. Rhea left a few minutes later, making her way across court. She was nearly home when she saw royal guardians and the Queen approaching.

"Rhea," Tatiana Ivashkov called out. "Do wait a moment."

Rhea stopped, plastering a smile on her face. She curtsied when the Queen neared. "Your majesty."

"How are you doing?"

"I am well, your majesty. I trust that you are well?"

"As well as anyone can be after a council session."

They exchanged polite laughter. "I have heard that the sessions are trying as ever. You do well to lead our people for so long under such strenuous conditions."

"We all face our trials. How are your children and grandchildren?"

"They are doing well. My son is currently back at school to continue his studies. His children are healthy. My daughter is safe, and being trained in her element. She and my step-daughter are both doing well in school."

"I am glad to hear that the Dragomirs are all doing so marvelously. Is your son ready to find an appropriate match yet?"

Rhea smiled thinly. "We can only hope that he is ready to make more responsible decisions for the sake of our family. Do you have an interest in his choice of a future match?"

"The Dragomir family line is small. As queen, I am concerned about the health of all the royal families. A match between the heir of your family and a young woman of good standing is very important for the future of our people."

Rhea's eyes narrowed. Her tone grew cold. "And I suppose you have such a match?"

"Priscilla Voda has a granddaughter named Lauren. She would be quite a good match for your son. She might even overlook his youthful indiscretions. A meeting can be arranged for them over the Christmas break."

Rhea took a steadying breath. "I am certain that Andre would be willing to meet her, though I make no promises that your matchmaking will produce any results. Is there anything else you wished to discuss?"

Tatiana's somewhat sanctimonious expression grew pensive as she replied. "Regarding your son, no. I have a question regarding Vasilisa."

"What about her?"

Tatiana's eyes flicked around the area, as though she was ensuring that no one could hear her. "I know that she is said to have a rare element called spirit. I was wondering... how did you know about the element? What signs were there that might have been seen?"

"You read the reports," Rhea replied evasively. "Natalie Dashkov saw Lissa heal an injured animal. Victor used his daughter in an attempt to cause my daughter to heal again. When Lissa did heal again, he abducted her and tortured her until she healed him. He was captured, and attempted to escape via his daughter turning Strigoi. She killed him for his efforts and escaped."

"I know all of that. What happened to your daughter was horrifying. I wanted to know if there was anything unusual that you might have seen that wasn't in the official reports."

Rhea considered the inquiry for a few moments before responding. "We thought that she wasn't going to specialize. She was high in all four basic elements, but specialized in none of them."

Something seemed to fall into place for Tatiana. She smiled. "Thank you. You have been very helpful. I am afraid that I must go now. It was a pleasure to talk with you Rhea."

"Of course, your majesty." Rhea regarded her quizzically. "It was a pleasure."

Tatiana Ivashkov walked away a moment later, surrounded by her retinue. Rhea wanted to know why the Queen had asked so much about Lissa.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting, you make me smile._

 _Critiques are welcomed :)_


	4. Slaughter

Less than one week before Christmas, almost two months after arriving at St. Vladimir's, Dimitri prepared to leave campus near the end of the Moroi day. To his surprise, Ivan was making coffee.

"Did you make coffee for me?"

"For you?" Ivan snorted. "I made it for me, but you can have a cup." He poured Dimitri a cup and handed it to him.

Dimitri breathed in the refreshing scent, then took a sip. It was wonderful. "Why are you making coffee now?"

"Tasha was supposed to fly into Missoula this afternoon, but her flight was rescheduled for this morning. She only found out today."

"Did I know that?"

Ivan laughed. Dimitri looked as if he had failed as a guardian. "No, actually. I am going with Brandon since I already knew you were going to take Rose to her qualifier today. I also figured that you would have just read it from my thoughts."

"I try to ignore your thoughts, especially ones that involve your romantic life."

Grinning, Ivan leaned against the kitchen counter. "Hey, one of us needs to have some fun. Although..."

Dimitri glared at the thought which Ivan had directed toward him. "That is none of your business."

"Come on, it's so obvious that you like her, and that she likes you."

Dimitri leaned against the kitchen counter, glaring at his friend. "She's seventeen."

"Your point?" Ivan set aside his cup, somewhat exasperated by his friend. "It's perfectly legal."

"Just because something is legal doesn't make it right. I'm her instructor."

"Because I'm here," Ivan interrupted.

"And we have a seven year age difference."

"Maturity matters more than age," Ivan countered.

Dimitri set down his cup, his expression hard. "Let's say I tell her that I'm developing feelings for her. Let's say that she reciprocates. Let's say that there are no issues with the Academy regarding our mutual interest. What happens when she and Vasilisa graduate? They are bound together. We are bound together. When they graduate, the four of us will go off in our separate pairs. If you stay with Tasha and Lissa stays with Christian, maybe we'll all see one another at holidays. I won't do that to her. I won't do it to myself."

Ivan's smirk died. He hadn't thought it through. He never did. "You've thought about this a lot haven't you?"

Dimitri looked away. He had thought about Rose more than he would willingly admit to anyone. She fascinated him. Her devotion to Lissa, her desire to learn how to be a guardian, her strength, and her beauty all drew him to her. "It doesn't matter."

Ivan didn't speak, though his compassion and frustration were plain in their bond. "Sorry."

Dimitri shrugged, finishing his coffee. "Like I said, it doesn't matter. I'll see you when we get back."

Brandon was entering the apartment as Dimitri began to leave. "It's snowing, be careful on your trip," Brandon said.

"No worries. It shouldn't be more than flurries."

"Good news," Ivan called to Brandon. "We're getting Tasha in the morning instead of in the afternoon."

"That's good news?" Brandon wasn't convinced.

"Yes, it means that our sleep won't be as messed up by getting her in Missoula."

"When do we leave?"

"An hour."

"Well, at least our sleep schedules won't be as messed up as Dimitri's."

Dimitri laughed. "Drive safely. I'll see you both when we get back."

Dimitri shut the door behind him. He drew a deep breath, feeling the chill of December enter his lungs. He hated that Ivan knew him so well and that he had a knack for pointing out uncomfortable truths.

Dimitri couldn't have said when his feelings for Rose had developed. Slowly, his view of her had changed. Knowing that she was shadow-kissed had created an instant bond with her. They could talk about the strange connection they had to their friends.

He reached the cars long before her. She rushed to them, sliding on the slick sidewalk. He caught her by the arm and steadied her.

"Careful."

"Good catch," she laughed. "Sorry, I'm late."

He smiled, letting go of her arm. "I expected it, which is why I told you the wrong time."

"You… seriously?"

He shrugged. "It worked. Come on."

She glared at him but complied. They got in the car, ready for the drive.

"So, how long is the trip to wherever you're taking me?"

"Five hours."

"Five hours?" She was grinning.

He smiled back at her, though he knew that he shouldn't. He needed to ignore his interest in her, it was wrong. There was no possible future for them. Rose would remain with Lissa, and one day she might want to be a mother, like most women Dimitri knew. Dimitri remembered Svetlana. He had loved Sveta, and she had loved him. But she had left him because they could never have children and he would always follow Ivan.

"You have really weird tastes in music," Rose told him as they began to drive.

"Everyone has weird tastes in music."

She rolled her eyes. "That's not true. Some of us prefer better music than others."

They had a discussion about their music tastes as they drove. The conversation shifted many times over the course of their drive. She worried about doing well in her qualifier. He told her about Russia and his travels with Ivan. She told him about the Dragomirs. They spoke about training and spirit. Their conversation filled their journey until they arrived at the Badica house.

* * *

Tasha Ozera stretched happily as soon as she could get out of her seat on the plane. They had just landed at the airport in Missoula. The flight wasn't long between Minneapolis and Missoula, but it was never fun to be stuck in one spot for a few hours. Still, it was worth a few hours of discomfort to see Ivan and Christian.

She was used to spending months away from Christian. She was also used to spending a month at a time away from Ivan, but the longer they dated the more it hurt to be apart for long. She missed Ivan. She couldn't wait for the time when they could be together every day.

Disembarking, Tasha made her way off the plane and headed toward the baggage claim. She saw Ivan waiting for her as she made her way out of the secured areas of the airport. A broad grin spread across her face, matching his. Her pace quickened, and soon she was in his arms.

He held her close, pulling back slightly to kiss her. It was soft and quick, and her carry on bag was in the way of his hands. They pulled back, hands on each other's hips. His hazel eyes sparkled with pleasure.

"Do you know how much I missed you?"

She reached up, touching his cheek. Her fingers slid from his cheek to his light brown hair. "About as much as I've missed you."

A cough to the side distracted them. They looked at Brandon, who was suppressing laughter. "Hi Brandon," Tasha said. She looked around, separating from Ivan. Ivan caught her hand with his, holding it. "Where's Dimitri?"

"He had to take Rose somewhere for her qualifier, it's a ten hour round trip. So, they won't be back at the Academy for quite a while." Ivan told her. "Do you have any checked bags?"

"Yes, just one."

Hand in hand, Tasha and Ivan walked toward the baggage claims. Brandon trailed a few paces behind them. After retrieving her bag, they left the airport.

"Do you need to buy anything while we're in Missoula?" Brandon asked.

Tasha and Ivan both needed to buy a few things, so they stopped by a large department store. Afterward, they began the journey back to St. Vladimir's. Tasha and Ivan sat in the back seat while Brandon drove. Tasha and Ivan included him in the conversation from time to time but often lost themselves in their own world.

"I can finally show you all of my favorite places from the Academy," she told Ivan. "Remember how I said that I grew up there?"

"I remember. What was your favorite thing to do at school?"

"Read. When the weather was warm, I would hide away in the gardens for hours with a book. When it was cold, I would spend more time in the lounges."

"I was imagining you as more of a debate person," Brandon suggested.

She laughed. "No, I was a much less outspoken person then." Her smile fell and she sighed sadly. "I was always outspoken in subtle ways. I was always the odd one who never fit in. After my brother turned Strigoi, my priorities changed."

Ivan squeezed her hand. Tasha looked at him. "Vanya has helped smooth out the rough edges of my combative spirit."

He kissed her softly. "And you have emboldened me, my love."

"Please, I'm driving." Brandon teased.

"We haven't seen each other in two months!" Tasha protested. "You'd be the same way in our situation."

"Oh, I think Brandon is just anxious to get back to his girlfriend."

They proceeded to tease Brandon about his relationship with Celeste on and off for the rest of the drive when Tasha and Ivan weren't lost in their own world. They were happy in their world until they arrived back on campus. Shortly after arriving, they were told the news about a massacre five hours away.

* * *

Evan Badica had barely left his dorm when a teacher escorted him to the Headmistress's office. He knew that he hadn't done anything wrong, which meant something had happened. He sat across the desk from Headmistress Kirova, waiting for the bad news.

"Mister Badica," she began, her voice trembling. "We regret to inform you that there was an attack. Your uncle's home was breached by Strigoi two or three days ago. Everyone inside, including your parents, uncle, and aunt were killed."

He laughed, unable to comprehend the news. "No, that's impossible."

Her expression was sad and sympathetic. "I know that this is difficult to believe. However, the report was confirmed and guardians processed the scene. Your aunt Corinne has been contacted and will be arriving tomorrow. She will be your legal custodian now. She will also help with the technical details of the funeral and your family's estate."

The Headmistress talked more, but Evan couldn't process anything she said. He was excused from his classes for the rest of the day. They let him return to his dorm room. His roommate would be at breakfast. Evan hadn't eaten. He didn't feel hungry. He didn't feel.

He knew what would be going on with the students. Other relatives would be pulled into the office to be told. Afterward, the Moroi and dhampir students would be called to an assembly to be told about the attack. The procedure was standard for Strigoi attacks. It happened once every few months.

Two hours later, there was a knock on his door, followed by a welcome voice- Jill. "Evan?"

"I'm here. Come in."

Jill slipped inside, shutting the door behind her. "They let me out of class to see you. No one is focusing on classwork anyway."

He nodded. Without another word, she walked to him and hugged him. They moved to his bed and sat, holding each other in silence for a long time. Anyone else would have tried saying meaningless words. She didn't say anything. She had been in this position herself.

She convinced him to go with her to the feeders later. He went willingly. What was the point of sitting in his room? How could his parents be dead?

They went to the cafeteria next. He didn't want to be around people, but he went with her. She grabbed an apple and they found a table in the far corner of the room. It wasn't their normal meal time, but it was the normal meal time for seniors. Christian and Lissa joined them. A few people offered condolences and went to their own tables.

Evan looked at Christian. Normally they didn't get along very well, but Evan could see none of Christian's snark. His expression was understanding. Christian was also an orphan.

Evan and Jill went to one of the lounges after lunch. They watched movies until dinner. They talked about light topics throughout dinner. Afterward, Lissa and Christian were going to the library. Evan and Jill walked with them. As they reached the entrance of the library, Christian stopped.

"Hey Evan, if you ever want to talk, I'm here for you."

Evan nodded. "Thank you." He didn't want to talk yet, but he was glad for the offer.

* * *

When they arrived at the Badica house, Rose noticed the snowy walkway. Dimitri noticed it as well. They approached the door with caution. Dimitri inspected the lock, and it moved as though it had been broken. Dimitri sent Rose back to the car. She left the car as soon as he went inside.

She wanted to know what was going on. The light of the sun made her feel safe. She walked around the side of the house, surveying the scene. She found a stake in the ground and picked it up as she went. She walked to the patio and entered through a broken glass door.

Inside, she saw the bodies. She recognized the one body as Evan's mother and another as his father. She screamed.

Dimitri was at her side in an instant. He pulled her from the house onto the patio. He held her face gently but firmly in his hands so that she looked at him instead of looking back inside.

"Breathe." He voice was low, soothing. He said it again, his own breathing becoming slow so that she would match him. Inhale deeply. Exhale slowly. She calmed after a few repetitions.

He moved his hands to her shoulders. "Will you be alright?"

She nodded, glancing back at the house. "Evan's parents."

Understanding and sorrow reflected on his face. "I'm sorry you saw it."

"We all have to see these things as guardians, don't we?"

Reluctantly, he agreed. "Yes." He let go of her. "I have to call the guardians. Go wait in the car. I'll join you in a few minutes."

She nodded and walked back to the car. She started out across the snowy landscape. The world grew blurry as tears blinded her. She wiped at her tears, but they kept coming.

She tried to stop crying when Dimitri returned to the car. "It's okay to cry." His voice was gentle.

She buried her face in her hands. A moment later she felt his hand on her shoulders, gently lending her his strength. They stayed that way until her tears stopped.

"You should have listened," he chastised. His voice was still gentle. "If the Strigoi had still been there, you would be dead."

"I... I wanted to help."

"I know. That stake you were holding, where did you find it?"

She told him. He processed the information quickly, coming to a very dark conclusion. "It broke the ward."

"How? Strigoi can't touch stakes."

"Humans can."

"Humans? They don't... they don't help Strigoi. Do they?"

His expression was hard. "It's been known to happen."

She shook her head, not wanting to believe it. "Arthur Schoenberg?"

"Dead."

"How did they kill that many people?"

Dimitri's expression was very dark. "Cooperation."

Rose flinched. "You think that the Strigoi cooperated with each other and with humans to do this?"

"It's the only reasonable conclusion. We'll do a walkthrough with the others when they arrive. You should see how guardians process these types of scenes. Will you be alright?"

She shuddered. "I have to be, don't I?"

"Yes."

"How do you do it? How do you remain so calm and detached?"

He considered her question thoughtfully. "You create a space inside yourself where you shut off all your emotions. You go away inside yourself for a while."

She pondered his words. "I think I can do that. I'll be able to walk through the scene with you and the others."

He nodded. "Good."

"Evan is going to be devastated."

Dimitri's response was gentle. "Yes, it will be very hard for him."

They didn't speak for a long time. When the other guardians arrived, they processed the scene. Afterward, Dimitri and Rose drove back to the Academy in silence.

When they arrived at the school, Dimitri rested a hand on Rose's shoulder. She jumped slightly at the touch. She hadn't slept during the drive, but she had been lost in her own thoughts.

"You did an amazing job today."

The corners of her lips raised in a small smile. "Thank you."

"Go get some sleep, or at least try to sleep."

She nodded slowly, yawning. "I want to, but the things I saw... You've seen that sort of thing multiple times."

"Yes. That was the worst scene I have encountered, but I've seen death before and caused death."

"The ghosts you've mentioned. I can't see them yet, but you can."

"Yes."

"Did you see their ghosts?"

He nodded, grimacing. "I chose to look for them. I wanted them to know... I suppose I wanted them to know the living are trying to help."

"I'd want to know that if I died, again."

He cracked his door open but stopped when she didn't move. She was looking at him, a question unspoken on her lips. "What do you want to ask?"

"What if they had turned one of Evan's parents? Them being killed is horrible, but if they had been turned?" She shuddered.

"They would be out there, living as Strigoi. It's a danger we face as guardians, more than they did as protected Moroi."

"That's true."

"It's a very real possibility that you will have to face a Strigoi who was someone you once knew."

"I know. Natalie Dashkov is still out there somewhere. We weren't close, but we were still friends."

"You can't freeze in situations like that. You have to kill them. Strigoi aren't the people we knew."

She nodded. "How do you do it?"

"You tell yourself that they aren't the people you once knew. You tell yourself that the person they were would be grateful that you are freeing them from the evil state they are living in. If you hesitate, they will kill you and your charge. You have to let go of attachments and do the right thing."

She bit her lip. She was considering Natalie. Could she kill her former friend? "Would they be grateful?"

"If you were turned, what would you want? Would you want to live that way? Killing innocent people?"

She swallowed hard, thinking about the bodies at the Badica house. "I wouldn't want to be a Strigoi. I'd rather be dead."

"So would I." Their eyes met. They looked at each other in silence for several long moments. "Come on, it's time to go."

They left the car and walked back to the school's campus. Rose considered going to see Lissa, but she decided against it and returned to her room. Rose was physically and mentally exhausted. She showered, changed, and curled up on her bed, but she couldn't sleep. Her mind was filled with images of dead bodies.

She forced herself to focus on the happy memories of the day in order to drive away the memories of horror. Unfortunately, those memories were also distracting. The five-hour drive to the Badica house had been fun. Dimitri touching her, though only in a friendly and comforting manner, had thrilled some inner part of Rose. His hands had been warm, gentle, safe.

Rose had liked Dimitri from the moment she first saw him. She thought he was the best looking man she had ever seen. She had tried to push away her attraction due to him being so much older than her, but her feelings had grown in spite of her best efforts. She enjoyed every moment spent with Dimitri. She was always eager to meet with him for practice or in more relaxed moments when they just hung out with Ivan and everyone else.

Rose hadn't expected to feel so much for anyone after Mason. She had thought that it would be impossible to love again after a broken heart. But she did love Dimitri. It scared her. It thrilled her. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to more than kiss him. But she couldn't. Besides which, she doubted that he thought of her the way she thought about him.

Even if he did have feelings for her, she knew that they didn't have a future. Their lives were bound to two other people, and those bonds could never be broken. Dimitri would always be bound to Ivan. Rose would always be bound to Lissa. She also didn't want to lose Dimitri as a friend the way she had lost Mason.

After tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, Rose fell asleep to dangerous thoughts of being wrapped in Dimitri's comforting embrace.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Now, the fun begins..._

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting, you make me smile. Critiques are welcomed :)_

 _Since many people are interested, Adrian is in this story! He starts in chapter 8._

 _For other characters... Abe will show up much later in the story. Sydney doesn't appear, she just didn't fit the narrative :(_


	5. Convergence

Eric, Rhea, and Andre Dragomir sat together at the kitchen table to discuss the recent attack and their plans for the holidays. News of the Badica massacre had only been announced half a day past, but there were many plans already being laid. Most royals were panicking. The Dragomirs had calmly asked their son to return from his studies in Philadelphia as soon as his finals were done. The Dragomirs didn't panic.

"So you want me to remain at court for Christmas, but join you afterward at this ski lodge in Idaho?" Andre's tone was incredulous.

"I don't want all of us in one place for very long," Eric explained. "Your mother and I will be on one flight from the school to the lodge. Your sisters will be on a flight with the students, and we will meet you there. I would love for all of you to be together here, but I don't want to separate Jill and Evan right now. I don't know what his aunt's plans will be for him in the future, but he will be at the ski lodge for the break."

"You can also spend more time with your children this way," Rhea offered. "You will still have time with your sisters afterward. We won't open any presents until we are at the ski lodge."

Andre smiled a little. "I suppose that makes sense. Munchkin will be sad that I'm missing her performance."

"I thought you stopped calling Jill that," Eric said with a laugh.

"Most of the time, but she's still Munchkin to me."

They all smiled. "I'll be certain to get a recording of her performance," Rhea promised. "Hopefully Evan performs well in the concert. Losing both of his parents, and his aunt and uncle at the same time..." Rhea shook her head.

Eric took his wife's hand and squeezed. "We'll be leaving in a few hours. There's a group of us with children at St. Vladimir's who are leaving on the same flight."

Andre nodded. "Well, I guess I'll see you two in a few days then. I promised Mia that I'd spend a few hours with Kevin. Katrina doesn't go back on duty until six p.m., so we'll both be here with Violet for a while, and I'll be watching her after that."

Rhea looked fondly at her son. "The busy life of a parent. Don't let us keep you from your son. We'll see you in a few days."

* * *

Rose overslept. It was understandable, given her lack of sleep the previous day. She barely had time to run to the cafeteria before she needed to run back to the gym for her first class. She needed to remember to restock her bedroom snack supply.

The combat classes went by quickly. She was paired with Eddie for sparring. Somehow, even though Rose no longer talked to Mason, she was still on normal speaking terms with Eddie. It still amazed Rose that her friendship with

Eddie was unchanged, given that Eddie was Mason's best friend.

Everyone had been excited about the news that they would be going on a ski trip for the holidays. Rose was happy about it but she wasn't at the same time. Nothing would erase the image of Evan's parents lying dead on the floor from Rose's mind. How could she find anything good in this upcoming trip?

Rose's already bad mood plummeted as soon as she entered her first theory class. Her mother was there. Two other guardians Rose didn't know were there as well. Her mother never looked at her.

The visiting guardians told stories of situations they had been in with Strigoi. Rose found the stories interesting until her mother spoke. Her mother hadn't seen her for three years. She sent letters irregularly but that was it.

Rose listened, becoming progressively angrier as her mother talked about killing Strigoi all three ways in one event. It sounded so… arrogant to Rose. Rose's frustration grew throughout the story and throughout the questions of the other students. She raised her own hand, unable to keep quiet any longer. When she was called on, nothing in Rose's voice was friendly.

"So, Guardian Hathaway, how'd the Strigoi get in in the first place?"

There were several gasps as all eyes turned toward Rose.

Janine regarded her daughter with a wary expression. "The venue had an extremely complex layout. Our initial sweep found nothing. The Strigoi either came in after the event started or there were hidden passages or rooms of which we were not aware."

"So, from what you're saying, it seems like someone messed up. This is a theory class. I just want to know how we can avoid those mistakes when we graduate."

Janine's lips pressed into a thin line. Her voice was tight when she replied. "The venue was secured to the best of our abilities. When the Strigoi were discovered, we did the best we could with an unusual situation. Sometimes, no matter your best efforts, you will still fail. In those moments it is important to think on your feet and improvise."

She couldn't have said why, but Rose felt attacked by her mother's words. Stan Alto, the guardian who taught the class, was giving Rose a very dark look. Rose knew that she should stop, but she couldn't.

"Well, at least you can admit that you aren't perfect."

"Miss Hathaway!" Alto's voice was hard. "Please take your things and go wait outside for the remainder of the class."

Rose looked at him and could see that he was barely containing his anger. Her own anger was visible for all to see. "Fine, it's better than being in the same room as her."

Silence filled the room. She zipped her bag closed, slung it over her shoulder, and walked from the room. She didn't meet anyone's eyes. She didn't stay outside the room either. Instead, she walked outside the building. She was shaking with anger, with hurt.

The door opened a few minutes later, and Dimitri appeared. He walked to her, face unreadable.

"I don't want a lecture," she snapped.

"Are you going to yell at everyone today?" His voice was maddeningly calm.

She glared at him a moment before realizing that he didn't deserve her attitude. "Sorry. No, not everyone, just her."

"Why are you so mad at her?"

"Why? Because she sounded so arrogant like she was bragging. Because she cares more about her marks than she does about me!"

"Rose..." His voice was gentle. For a moment she thought that he might lay a comforting hand on her like he had done in the car. He didn't touch her, but she could see his concern. "I don't think that she cares more for the marks than she does for you."

"She's never here. She never told me that she was coming."

"Being a guardian is a very time-consuming job. She might not have known until today that she would be here."

She glared. "How much time off do you get a year? How many days can you take off to do whatever you want?"

He hesitated.

"How many?" she growled.

"Three weeks."

"She hasn't seen me for three years. She hasn't made the time for her own daughter. Do you use your time off?"

"No. At most I'll take a day off once a month to buy anything I need. Ivan usually visits my hometown one week per year so that I can visit my family, and he visits Brandon's hometown one week per year so that Brandon can visit his family."

Rose smiled a little. "Ivan is a really great guy."

"He is," Dimitri agreed. "He's a good friend. Your mother is a good person too."

She looked away angrily. "Sure." The school bell rang. "I have to get to my next class. I'll see you for training later." She walked away before he could say anything else.

* * *

Jill comforted Evan as best she could. She remembered what it was like to have her world turned upside down. She had been ten when she was called into the school's office. Sonya Karp, her mother's first cousin, had still been at St. Vladimir's as a biology teacher.

Sonya had told Jill that her mother and stepfather had been killed by Strigoi. Sonya was temporarily given custody of Jill. However, Emily Mastrano had wanted Jill's biological father in the picture in the event of her death. Two days later, Jill had been introduced to Eric and Rhea Dragomir.

A little over four years later, they were still adjusting to their new lives. Jill liked her new family, but she never quite felt at home with them. She missed her mom and stepdad. She missed her home in Detroit. She missed being normal. She missed Sonya. Sonya had slowly lost her grip on reality and had been locked in an asylum two years ago.

The day after news of the massacre arrived, Jill and Evan had practice for the school's winter concert and drama performance. Jill found comfort in performing. Her mother had been a dancer, and she felt closer to her mother while performing. Evan's parents had encouraged him to perform as well, and Jill hoped that he could draw a similar sense of comfort in performing.

She loved him. He had always liked her for who she was as a person, not for her status as a Dragomir. They had met the previous year during practices for the spring drama performance and had started dating by the debut of the show. Jill hoped that they could weather this storm.

Evan and Jill arrived at the theater together. Throughout the day, excitement over the school's plan to send everyone to a ski lodge in Idaho had overridden the sorrow and fear that had descended with news of the massacre. Everyone's excited chatting ceased when Evan and Jill entered the auditorium. People offered Evan condolences for his losses before they all took their places.

Evan played the violin. Jill played the piano and danced. They both had multiple roles in the school's winter performance. Typically only parents, siblings, and students interested in the arts ever attended the performances.

The orchestra practiced first. Jill lost herself in the music, so did Evan. In the next part of the show, Jill and several others danced while the orchestra played and the choir sang. Next, the choir performed. The second to last section of the performance involved dramatic readings and short-acting pieces. The last section of the performance was music, singing, and dance. The rehearsal took two hours.

Jill walked to Evan at the end of rehearsal, smiling. "You did great."

He smiled back at her. He was weary, but there was genuine affection in his smile. "Me? You were breathtaking." He put down his violin case and wrapped his arms around her. "You're the best dancer and dramatic reader in the school."

She laughed, kissing him. "You're totally biased."

"Yeah, but I'd still put you in the top ten if you weren't my girlfriend."

They walked out of the auditorium together. He drew a deep breath, reaching for her hand with his free hand. "It really helped to do something normal. I mean, nothing feels normal anymore. I still can't believe my parents are gone. I keep hoping that it was just a bad dream but then everyone tells me that they're sorry for my loss... Rehearsal felt normal; it was nice."

She squeezed his hand. "I'm glad."

"How did you manage it? Losing your mom and stepdad?"

Jill was quiet for a long time. "Some days I'm still not okay with it. Some days I miss her so much that I ache from longing. And my dad... everyone calls him my stepdad, but he was my dad from the time I was three. He was in my life longer than I've been a Dragomir."

She fell silent again, lost in her thoughts. "It does get better. You find ways to smile again. You remember their love and try to make them proud. You find comfort in the people who love you. You honor their memories in your own way."

Evan nodded. Tears had begun to fall down his cheeks. Jill wrapped her arms around him, drawing him close.

"I'm here for you," she whispered fiercely.

"I know." He pulled back. "You're incredible."

She smiled through her own tears. "So are you."

He sighed heavily. "My aunt wants to talk to me. She arrived earlier, but I said that I was going to practice. I can't avoid her anymore."

"I'll walk with you to the apartments. My parents are here too, so I'll go visit them. Come to see me afterward?"

He reached for her hand, squeezing it. "Yeah, I have a feeling I'll need to."

* * *

Rhea moved quickly around the guest apartment she and Eric were assigned at St. Vladimir's. They were going to have many guests over as soon as the school day ended. Lissa would be there first, likely with Christian. Jill would arrive after her rehearsal. Rose would probably come as well. Evan might come, depending on how he felt. Ivan Zeklos and Tasha Ozera had also been invited. Rhea and Eric wanted to catch up with their daughter's mentor and the woman who had raised Lissa's boyfriend.

Rhea was still fussing with the apartment when Lissa, Christian, Ivan, and Tasha arrived. Frank Linden, one of the Dragomir guardians, let them inside. Lissa found her way to her parents at a run. She reached her father first. He picked her up in a tight embrace. Eric released Lissa, who then embraced Rhea.

"You've grown lovelier since we were together last," Rhea said.

"You say that every time," Lissa replied, laughing lightly. "Let me introduce everyone!" She turned toward the other three. "Christian you met after Victor's attack the other month. Ivan, you sent to me, and thank you so much for that. He's been great! And this is Tasha Ozera, Christian's aunt, and Ivan's girlfriend."

Eric and Rhea shook hands with their three guests. "So is Lissa a good student?" Eric asked Ivan. All six took seats in the living room.

"She's been very excited to learn as much as she can about spirit." Ivan looked at Lissa and gave her a nod of encouragement.

Lissa drew in a deep breath, looking at her parents. "I want to learn more, but I can't until I'm off of my medicine. Please, I'll be fine with Ivan guiding me. I know that there is so much good that can be done with spirit."

Eric and Rhea looked at one another. Rhea was the one to reply. "We've discussed this for two weeks now and have decided that we agree."

Lissa lit up. She hugged both of her parents, and Ivan, before settling back beside Christian. She hugged Christian as well. Everyone laughed happily at her excitement.

"I'm certain that Ivan will be happy to continue training you," said Tasha. "He hasn't stopped talking about how excited he is to know another spirit user."

"Didn't you say that you met someone in Russia who uses spirit?" Christian asked Ivan.

"Yes, there's a shadow kissed pair in Dimitri's hometown, but they stay off the grid. I try to go there once a year. If your parents let you, you're more than welcome to join us next summer after you graduate."

Lissa looked at her parents, who both laughed. "Worry about school first," Eric told her. "You still need to graduate and choose a college."

"I still don't know what to major in," Lissa replied. "And unless I utterly fail a class, I'm graduating in June with the rest of my classmates. I've been looking into a few universities. I don't suppose I could go to Temple like Andre?"

"No," said Eric, in a tone which allowed for no debate. "I don't want both of you out of wards in the same place. You know that Andre had an uphill battle for us to allow him to go to Temple. Pick a city other than Philadelphia. You could choose a school closer to court."

Lissa nodded. "Yeah, I could. There are a few good universities not too far from court. Or, I could go to one in a different state."

"You could," Rhea agreed, "though it would be nice to have you close to us."

Lissa smiled. "True. I'm still figuring it out. At least Andre knew that he wanted to study finance, and Jill wants to study theater and dance."

"You could take a year off and travel with me," Christian suggested. "Rose would like that idea."

Lissa smiled. "Until she realized that traveling means duty for her. Oh, Rose's mom is on campus."

Rhea was astonished. "She is?"

Christian stifled a laugh with a cough. "Yeah, but I don't think it was to visit Rose. I heard that they got into a huge fight earlier in one of Rose's guardian classes."

"Rose told us at lunch that it wasn't as bad as the rumors. Rose said that she yelled and was then asked to leave the classroom. She didn't get a detention or anything."

Eric and Rhea considered Lissa's words for a moment before Eric responded. "Is Rose coming over tonight?"

"Yeah, she and Dimitri are training first," Lissa replied. "I think she enjoys her after school practices more than her class work."

"I think you're right," Ivan replied. He shifted the topic quickly enough that no one picked up on the amusement in his tone. "Dimitri is training her to be the best possible guardian Lissa could ever have."

"Rose has always been very devoted to Lissa," Rhea said. "Andre's guardian David was his friend for many years before they graduated. We hope that we can make a similar match for Jill one day."

"Will your granddaughter guard your grandson one day?"

All eyes in the room turned toward Tasha. Rhea's mouth hung open, her eyes wide. Christian stared at his aunt, mortified. Lissa clasped a hand to her mouth. Near the door, the Dragomir guardian's eyebrows rose. Even Ivan seemed shocked that Tasha had asked that question.

Eric's warmth cooled. He had been startled by the question. He had never considered the fact that his dhampir granddaughter, only an infant, would not have the same position in life as his Moroi grandson. Not that he could admit that at the moment. He chose diplomacy in his response.

"If that is what she wishes."

A small smile spread across Tasha's lips. "And if she doesn't want to be a guardian? What if she wants to be a performer like Jill? Or work in finance like Andre? Or be a teacher? What if your grandson wants to be a fighter?"

Eric and Tasha held each other's gazes for a long time. He smiled slightly, keeping his tone under control. "It is something to think about, perhaps even something to discuss. However, I do not believe that now is the time or place for such a conversation."

Tasha nodded slowly, also choosing diplomacy. "I agree. Now is a time to enjoy getting to know one another and spend time with Lissa and Christian. Politics can always be discussed at a later time."

"Agreed," Eric replied. He turned to look at Christian. He smiled again. "So, what are your plans after you graduate?"

Christian looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "Um, I'm still figuring that out."

Lissa laughed. "I told him that he should go to cooking school."

"I could," Christian agreed, "but then I would be separated from you."

"Yeah, but I still don't know what I want to do. We could always pick schools in the same city. Or you can come with me wherever I go to school."

The tension in the room decreased, and the conversation soon shifted to catching up with Lissa and Christian's studies. Sometime later, Lissa and Ivan glanced toward the door. A moment later, the bell rang. The Dragomir guardian opened the door to admit Rose and Dimitri. Rose was smiling as she entered. She hugged Eric and Rhea before settling beside Lissa. Ivan and Dimitri looked at one another. Ivan communicated something to Dimitri through the bond, to which Dimitri nodded before excusing himself. Jill arrived as Dimitri left. Jill also hugged Eric and Rhea, but her movements were a bit stiff. She settled herself beside Christian.

Rhea smiled at the girls. "Well, before I ask about your day, I think I should introduce the two of you to our guest. Jill, Rose, this is Tasha Ozera."

The girls greeted her politely.

"It's lovely to meet you. I've heard quite a bit about both of you." Jill and Rose both eyed Tasha suspiciously. Tasha laughed. "From Ivan and Christian mostly."

Rose looked around. "They told you about me fighting with my mom today, didn't they?"

Rhea looked at Rose sympathetically. "It was mentioned."

"Did my mom tell you guys that she'd be here?"

"No," Eric replied, "she didn't."

Rose's face hardened. "Of course not," she muttered.

Rhea looked at her. Her voice was very gentle when she replied. "Rose, I'm certain that there's a reason."

Rose clenched her jaw, reigning in her emotions. "Yeah, I'm sure."

Lissa squeezed Rose's hand. "Hey Jill, how was the rehearsal?"

Jill brightened. "It was really good. You should all come Friday. Evan was able to forget everything for a little while. He's with his aunt now. She's going to have custody of him."

"An aunt can be a good influence." Christian grinned at his own aunt. "She helped me through everything, maybe Evan's aunt can be the same for him."

Jill smiled a little. "Maybe, Evan seemed skeptical. I told him to come here afterward."

Ivan and Tasha talked in hushed tones for a moment. Tasha looked at Jill, then at Eric and Rhea. "It's a good thing he has you in his life. Dimitri was telling us when he got back yesterday that the scene of the massacre was one of worst he had ever seen."

Lissa looked at Rose in horror. "Rose? Weren't you training with Dimitri yesterday?"

Rose's eyes fell to her lap. "Yeah. I was supposed to do my qualifier with one of the guardians who lived there. We discovered the scene." She fell silent, shaking her head.

Everyone except for Ivan looked at Rose, stricken. No one seemed to know what to say to Rose. Christian's shock transformed into curiosity.

"Is it true that they think there was six or more Strigoi working together?"

Rose looked at Christian and nodded. "Yeah, it was the only way to explain all the deaths and the entrances used. Humans broke the wards."

No one reacted. The teens had all heard the rumors. The adults had all heard the official reports.

"Are you alright darling?" Rhea was on the edge of her seat, looking at Rose with motherly concern.

Rose looked up, giving her a wan smile. "I have to be. All guardians have to be." She stood. "I just remembered that I have some homework to do. I'll see you all later."

Rose excused herself from the apartment. She exchanged looks with Frank Linden, the Dragomir guardian on duty. He had been with the Dragomirs for as long as Rose could remember. On vacations, he had taken her on walks outside in the sun when all the Dragomirs were asleep. He seemed to regard her with more understanding than anyone else in the room. Rose wondered briefly what all he had seen in his many years of service. She knew that he had fifteen molnija marks.

When Rose was gone, Tasha looked at Ivan before looking at Eric and Rhea. "If Evan is going to come over, perhaps Ivan and I should leave? I can't imagine him wanting a stranger here after discussing funeral arrangements."

"Tasha is probably right," said Ivan. "It may be time for us to leave." They stood, and the Dragomirs followed suit. "Thank you for hosting us."

Eric shook Ivan's hand. "It has been a pleasure. I'm glad to hear that everything is going so well with training Lissa." Eric shook Tasha's hand. "And it is a pleasure to finally be introduced to you."

She raised an eyebrow, a smile playing on her lips. She wondered how sincere he was. "It has been lovely meeting you and your family."

Rhea shook Tasha's hand. "You are welcome to our hospitality any time. Please, join us for dinner tomorrow." She looked at Ivan, indicating that he was included in the invitation.

Ivan and Tasha looked at one another and nodded. "It would be a pleasure," Tasha and Ivan replied. Ivan and Tasha left the apartment a few moments later.

Eric and Rhea settled in the living room again, across from their daughters and Christian.

"I wish Rose and her mom didn't have so many issues," Jill observed. She was looking distractedly toward the door. She would do anything for the chance to see her mother one more time, even for a minute.

"They just need to learn how to communicate with one another," said Rhea. "Once they learn to stop being so defensive, things will improve."

Jill nodded. She was still far away. "I just wish parents and kids always got along. We never know when it's goodbye forever."

Eric walked to his daughter, kneeling in front of her. "Sweetheart." Jill looked at him, eyes full of tears. She buried her face in his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. "I know you miss her. I miss my parents too. My father died of old age, but my mother was killed by Strigoi. I was seventeen."

Jill pulled back, wiping at her face. "Did you ever want to fight back against the Strigoi? To hurt them for killing your mother?"

Eric considered his daughter's words for a few moments before replying. "Sometimes, but I was never trained to fight. I was always told about the importance of continuing the Dragomir line. There are so few of us left. It was only myself and my father for a long time. There are more of us now, but we are still such a small family. If anything happens to one of us, it is a tremendous loss."

Jill nodded. "Yes, that's true. But, does that mean you're okay with Moroi learning to fight?"

He tapped Jill's nose with the tip of an index finger. "I am in favor of our people doing anything necessary to keep our people safe."

Jill, Lissa, and Christian looked at him wonderingly. Eric Dragomir had never openly supported progressive ideologies, even though he voted more progressively than most in council sessions.

"However," Eric added, "I also believe in making measured decisions. Hasty choices help no one. It is tempting to seek revenge, but it is often unwise. Throwing ourselves in harm's way won't bring back our mothers."

"I know," Jill replied.

Allowing for a few quiet moments, Christian spoke up. "So does that mean you think Moroi training to fight offensively is alright?"

Eric looked at Christian, a sly smile on his lips. "I think you'll find that there are many Moroi who agree with your aunt's ideologies, even if most don't speak up. Our people once fought alongside our guardians. While I never considered learning to fight myself, and I do not favor it for my children, I don't believe that it benefits anyone to ignore the option. There are many Moroi out there who don't have the honor of being under guardian protection. They deserve the chance to keep themselves safe."

Christian was about to say something else when there was a knock at the door. Evan was allowed inside. His expression was dark. He was practically shaking with anger.

"What's wrong?" Jill asked.

Evan's voice broke as he replied. "My aunt wants me to transfer schools."

Jill jumped up from her seat. "No! She can't do that."

Evan Badica was shaking his head. His emotions were clearly mixed, ranging from anger to despair. "She says that she wants me closer to her. It's stupid! It's not like the attack happened here. It's not like I'll be living at court with her."

Eric Dragomir walked to Evan. He rested his hands gently but firmly on the teen's shoulders. "I'll talk to your aunt first thing tomorrow. Moving you away from all of your friends here is the last thing you need right now."

Evan nodded, struggling to keep his emotions in check. "How can she want to take everything away from me? It's bad enough that my parents are dead, and my aunt and uncle, and two of my cousins, but to take me from here? I'll run away first."

Eric squeezed Evan's shoulders. "Try not to rush into anything. It isn't safe outside of wards for any of us, especially when you're young."

"Besides which," Christian interjected from the sofa, "getting out of the wards anywhere close to a road isn't easy. Then there are a few hours of walking before you get to the highway, and we're in the middle of nowhere."

Everyone looked at Christian. He shrugged. "I tried a few times after my parents died. I got half-way to the main road once, and was escorted back."

Jill gave Christian a wry smile before taking Evan's hand. Eric stepped away, letting his daughter and her boyfriend have a moment together. "I'd rather you not run away. My parents will talk to your aunt in the morning. Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

"Yeah, tea would be nice."

Rhea was standing, already on her way to the kitchen. "I'll get you some. Take a seat. Why don't you tell us about the upcoming performance?"

Evan nodded. He and Jill squeezed onto the sofa beside Lissa and Christian. As they waited for drinks, Evan began to talk about the school's winter performance. The edge of grief and anger faded as he spoke about music and the show.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting, you make me smile. Critiques are welcomed :)_

 _This chapter contained one of my favorite sentences in the story so far-_ "Will your granddaughter guard your grandson one day?"


	6. Challenge

Frank Linden, a Dragomir guardian, looked for Janine Hathaway for about half an hour the next morning. He found her in one of the guardian lounges. He didn't know exactly what he wanted to say, but he knew the result he wanted. He wanted the two Hathaways to fix their broken relationship.

Frank had been with the Dragomirs for over twenty years. He had been assigned as Prince Frederick Dragomir's guardian for three years before the old Moroi died. After Frederick's death, Frank had been assigned to Eric and one of the other family guardians was reassigned to a different family.

It wasn't always easy to be a guardian, especially a family guardian. Guardians kept family secrets, even from other members of the family. Frank knew more secrets about the Dragomirs than anyone else, including the other family guardians.

Frank had been Eric's guardian in Las Vegas when Eric met Emily Vance, who would later be Emily Mastrano. Frank knew about the affair for a few months before Eric told Rhea the truth. Frank knew when Eric and Rhea were fighting. He knew when Eric's attention strayed from his wife. He knew when Rhea wanted to walk away. He also knew secrets about each of the Dragomir children. He knew which of Andre's girlfriends mattered and which didn't. Frank knew that, no matter what Andre and Katrina told Eric and Rhea, little Violet Lehman-Dragomir was planned.

Frank's horde of secrets also included the hopes and dreams of Rose Hathaway, starting from the time she was a little girl. He knew that Rose wanted a relationship with her mother. He also knew that Janine Hathaway wanted a relationship with her daughter. He had been around both of them enough that he had reached a reasonable assumption about why the two women couldn't connect. Rose was upset that her mother was seldom in her life. Rose hid her pain with anger. So every time her mother was mentioned or was present, Rose bristled.

Janine was a different story. Hers was a tale that Frank understood all too well. Raised by an Academy, Janine didn't know how to be a parent. Sworn to guardian service, Janine had been forced to choose between duty and her daughter. As the years passed, the two simply didn't know how to fix the gap.

Frank entered the lounge. Janine was reading a book, probably one from the shelves in the lounge. He walked to her. "Guardian Hathaway?"

She looked up, placing a finger in the book as she closed it. She smiled warmly at him. "Guardian Linden, I didn't realize you were here."

"We just arrived yesterday. They decided last minute what their plans were for the holidays." He took a seat across from her. She was reading Les Misérables.

"Many people did. My charge rescheduled his plans to visit his niece and nephew who attend school here." She studied him briefly, eyes narrowing. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Rose."

She grimaced, setting down the book. "You heard about her yelling at me in her class yesterday?"

"Yes."

"I wish I knew what to say to her. Everything upsets her whenever we try to talk."

"And her running to the Dragomirs just makes you angry."

Janine's hard expression was a startling mirror to Rose when she was controlling her anger. "Why would I be angry that the Dragomirs care for my daughter? They are her future."

He raised an eyebrow, lips twitching into a small smile. "Perhaps because Rhea collects stray children to mother while your style of parenting was always more formal."

She picked up the mug which was beside her, studying the contents with interest. She let out a shaky breath. "What is your relationship with your son like?"

A dull ache twisted in Frank's gut. He supposed that it was a fair question, all things considered. "Formal and distant, but the circumstances are far different with him and I than they are for you and Rose. I didn't know what his mother did with him after we broke up. We met again when he was eighteen."

"I know," she acknowledged. "He's a guardian now, isn't he?"

"Yes. He lives in Italy. He'll be twenty-three this year. We talk occasionally."

She set down the mug, never taking a sip. Her eyes met his. "I don't want that."

"Then why do you stay away from her for years at a time?"

"She doesn't want me." Janine swallowed, blinking. "And I don't know how to fix that."

"She does want you in her life. She just masks her feelings with anger." He looked pointedly at Janine because they both knew that mother and daughter did the same thing. "If you want unsolicited advice from a parent who wants a better relationship with his child, start with something small and go from there. Ask her about her interests. Ask her about her life."

She drew a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I'll try."

* * *

Rose woke up to the sound of her alarm blaring. She hit the snooze button three times before giving up. She had not slept well. Her dreams had been filled with images of blood and death. She pulled herself out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. She washed her face, brushed her teeth, and dragged herself back to her room. She dressed quickly, brushed out her hair, and left her room.

The trek across the courtyards to the commons building was chilly. Rose woke up as she walked. She wanted to hide away from everyone in her room. There was too much on her mind. The bodies of Evan's parents. Her mom's presence at the school. Lissa going off her medication. Rose's interest in Dimitri. The influence of spirit on Rose's life. Too much.

"Hey, Rose?"

Rose stopped, turning toward the sound of her name being called before she registered who had called her. She stiffened slightly as Mason walked toward her. "Hey, Mason?" She didn't keep her confusion out of her voice.

He smiled nervously as he walked to her. He didn't talk until they were a foot apart. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know you were rattled yesterday with your mom being in class."

She mirrored his smile. She had always loved how considerate he was. "Yeah, I'm fine." She drew a deep breath. "It's just rough, you know?"

"Yeah, that's why I wanted to talk to you."

"Thanks."

"Yeah."

They shifted on their feet, neither knowing what to say to the other. She sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for how awkward things are between us. I know that it's been rough since the break-up."

"Rose," he interrupted, "you've been through a lot over the past year. We both needed space."

"Yeah." She looked at the ground. She missed how they used to talk about everything. She missed her friend. She looked up at him. "It sucks not talking to you."

The corner of his mouth moved up into a half-smile. "I agree."

She chewed on her lip indecisively for a long time. "I... I don't know if it's possible, but maybe we could be friends again?"

He offered her his hand. She accepted it, confused. "I'd like that." He squeezed her hand briefly before letting it drop. "Now come on, let's go get breakfast."

A smile spread across Rose's lips. They walked to the commons, thoughts of food overriding the confusion and unease Rose was feeling.

"So, what's it like to be mentored by Belikov? How'd you get assigned to him anyway?"

"Um, it's a long story." She didn't want to discuss Dimitri with Mason of all people. She pushed into the cafeteria, walking toward the food. "Dimitri is great. I'm learning a lot."

She picked up two donuts and a bottle of apple juice. Mason grabbed a breakfast sandwich and a bottle of orange juice.

"Did they think you needed more practice after being out of school for so many months?"

"Yeah, that was part of it." She chewed on her donut. They walked back out of the building. If they timed it right, they would arrive on time for their first class. "You know that Lissa has a special element, right?"

"Yeah, I heard about it. They said that the Zeklos lord who's here is tutoring Lissa in the element."

"Ivan, yeah he is. They both have this rare element, so he helps a lot. What all do you know about their element?"

He thought for a few moments. "It's called spirit, and it has something to do with healing. Other than that, it's really hard to hear anything about it. You know how rumors are here." He looked at her, curiosity showing plainly on his face.

She let out a long breath. "Yeah, that's all true. Spirit is an unstudied element and it's rare. They can both heal." She stopped walking, looking at Mason. She missed him so much. She missed talking to him. "Mase, can I tell you something? Something you can't tell anyone."

"I promise, whatever you tell me, I won't tell anyone."

She swallowed. "You know how I got weird after the car accident? How I would know too much about how Lissa was thinking or feeling?"

He nodded.

"She healed me. I died in that accident, and she healed me. We don't fully understand it, but it created a bond between Lissa and me that's complicated. Dimi... Guardian Belikov has the same sort of bond with Ivan. He's been talking to me about all of it. That's why he's my mentor."

Rose stopped talking. She shifted on her feet as she looked at Mason, chewing on her second donut. Mason was looking at her, dumbstruck.

Finally, he found his voice. "That's... wow... You really have been through a lot this year."

She laughed shortly. "Yeah, I have. I'm glad we're talking again Mase. I've missed it."

"Me too."

They continued walking toward the gym for their first class. Their conversation shifted onto lighter topics. As they walked, confusing thoughts of Mason pushed aside all the rest of Rose's troubled thoughts. Still, she was happy that maybe she and Mason could be friends again.

They sat together at lunch, which drew inquiring looks from everyone at the table. "We're friends," Rose said. Rose's tone left it clear that her friends should leave it alone. Soon they all slipped into normal conversation.

People were excitedly talking about the upcoming ski trip. Only Rose, Lissa, and Christian lacked the enthusiasm of their classmates. It was difficult for them to be happy about the trip when they knew how much the cause of the trip impacted their friend.

The rest of the day passed quickly. After class, Rose met Dimitri in the gym for their usual training session. This day, they were practicing physical combat and defense. He was prepping her for the field experience which would begin in February. All senior novices would be assigned Moroi to guard while the guardians on campus would act as Strigoi to test the novices.

The field experience was one of the most important trials a novice went through in their education. Failing it meant that a novice wouldn't become a guardian. Only their final trial for graduation was more important. Dimitri saw to it that Rose was trained rigorously, ensuring that she would be at the top of her class.

Rose dodged Dimitri's hand, ducking away, spinning back with a kick. She landed the kick, but he grabbed her leg and threw her to the mats. She groaned, holding her hands up for a break. He crouched beside her, breathing heavily. She glared. She was getting better at fighting him in practice, but he still beat her most of the time.

"You should keep fighting, even when you're thrown down," he instructed.

"I know." She shifted so that she was sitting on the mats.

He studied her face. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I just have too much on my mind."

He shifted so that he was sitting beside her. "Such as?"

"My mom, the massacre, Lissa, and some other stuff." She didn't want to talk to Dimitri about her crush on him. She didn't want to tell him that being physically close was distracting. She didn't want to tell him that talking to Mason again was confusing.

"You could talk to the school counselor about the massacre and about the conflict you have with your mother."

She looked at her hands. "I can handle it."

"Can you?"

Her eyes snapped to him. "Yes, I can."

"Rose, there is nothing wrong with getting help from others."

"Do you get help from anyone else?"

"Yes, I do. I talk to Ivan and Brandon. I don't tell them everything, but I trust both of them. I can tell them my issues. You have people in your life that you can talk to about these things."

"No I don't, not really."

"You don't trust Lissa?"

"I... I do trust her, but I don't want to worry her. And she doesn't understand the issues I have with my mom. She's never had problems with her parents. They're practically perfect."

He arched an eyebrow. "The Dragomirs are hardly perfect, and you know it."

She opened her mouth to protest but quickly snapped it shut. Jill wouldn't exist if Eric was perfect, and Rose did know it. "They're good parents. Rhea took in Jill like she was her own daughter. They treat me and Dave, Andre's one guardian, like we're family. They do the same with Mia and Katrina."

"And you don't think that your mother is a good parent?"

She bit her lip. "It's hard to be a parent when she's never around."

"Rose..." He sighed. "Do you honestly believe that she doesn't want to be around you? Do you think she wants to be throwing herself in danger instead of seeing you? Do you think she wants the Dragomirs to raise you instead of her?"

She looked down, blinking her eyes rapidly to fight back tears. "I don't know." Her voice was very small. She sniffed. She glared at him accusingly to cover her feelings. "Why does it matter so much to you?"

He considered her for a few moments before responding. "Because I care about you, and I believe that relationships between parents and their children are important."

"I don't even know who my father is," she deflected.

His expression darkened. "Sometimes that's a good thing."

"You knew yours?"

"I did. I told you that I have three sisters. We have the same father. He liked my mother."

She stiffened at the coldness in his voice. "Was he that bad?"

Dimitri stood, flexing his hands into fists. He paced a bit as he spoke. "He liked to drink. When he drank, he would get angry. When he was angry, he took that anger out on my mother. Sometimes, he would hit me or my older sister. Karolina and I would do our best to protect our younger sisters. When I was thirteen, he knocked my little sister Viktoria across the room. So I hit him... repeatedly... and told him to leave. He left."

Rose stood. "That's awful. I'm so sorry."

He shrugged, reigning in his emotions. "He's not part of my family anymore. The important thing is that my sisters and mother are safe. I know that my father is a bad person. Some people would say that my mother was a bad person for allowing him to stay, but I know that she was only doing the best she could manage. Most parents try to do their best, even if their best is terrible. Your mother cares about you. She may not know how to express what she feels, but I know that she cares."

"How do you know that?"

The corner of his mouth quirked into a small smile. "Because she talks about you to other guardians when there is downtime."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Three years ago I met her at a party in Prague. She was talking to one of the other guardians about some challenge you had taken first place in here at school."

Rose swallowed. She didn't know what to think about this new information. "Target practice. I got the best shooting score in the class. I didn't even realize she knew."

"I think that your mother pays more attention to your academic record than you know. She's proud of you. Just give her a chance."

"I don't know how."

"Count to ten before you yell," he answered drily.

"Hey!"

To her irritation, he was grinning. "It's a practical solution to managing your anger."

She glared. "One more round."

He gave her a brisk nod before lunging toward her. She dodged. He reached for her; she spun away. He grabbed her shoulder. She hit him in the knee, twisting out of his grasp. He startled her by grasping her around the waist and throwing her to the mats. She squirmed, struggling to get away. If he was a Strigoi, she would be in extreme danger.

Rose used a move which had the chance of failing. Still, she needed to try to win. She moved her legs, wrapping them around him. She used her legs to pull him close and flip their positions. It worked. She now straddled him. She moved her hands to his chest in a gesture to represent staking. He stopped fighting, letting his hands fall to his sides, resting his fingers on her knees.

They were panting hard. It took Rose a few moments to realize the position they were in. Her heart pounded in her chest. Dimitri was looking at her with an expression Rose had never seen on his face before- desire. They were frozen. Eyes locked. Her hands on his chest. Her legs straddling his waist as he lay on the mats.

His hands moved, trailing slowly up her legs. Unthinking, she rolled her hips against him. He froze.

"Rose." His voice was very low as if he was struggling for control. "You need to get up."

Heart racing. Breathing shallowly. She shifted off of him. She felt blood rush to her face. She was embarrassed because she knew that he saw her desire for him. Was what she saw in his face just wishful thinking?

She dared to look at him. He was sitting now, still looking at her, though his emotions were masked.

"I don't know if we should train like this anymore," he said quietly.

His words were a knife to her heart. "Why?"

"It's not a wise idea to do anything which puts us in such intimate proximity. I can still train you with everything else. I can still talk to you about being shadow-kissed." He swallowed, shaking his head. "But I don't think it's a good idea for us to do anything that can lead to compromising positions."

She clenched her jaw, struggling to reign in her emotions. "Dimitri... I..."

He brought a hand to her face, cupping her cheek. She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes. "Rose, we can't go down that path."

She felt hot tears fall from her eyes. She didn't open them. He didn't pull his hand away. "Why not?"

"Because you're seventeen. Because I'm your instructor. Because no matter what you or I feel for each other, we're bound to other people. I'm bound to Ivan and you are bound to Lissa. Nothing can break those bonds. When you graduate, we'll go our separate ways. We might see each other occasionally, but not enough for anything lasting."

Her eyes fluttered open, she wanted to look at him. She wanted to hear him repeat the part about feelings. "How did you know how I feel?"

He smiled a little. "Other than your hips moving?" She reddened. "I suspected for a while, and Ivan showed me your aura when you look at me. He said that I should date you."

She laughed bitterly. "So unfair. I didn't know you felt anything for me. I hoped..."

He dropped his hand from her cheek and clasped both of her hands with his. "I care about you very much. I care about you enough that I don't want to hurt you by starting something that can't go anywhere. I can't be with you."

She lowered her head, trembling, trying not to cry. She squeezed his hands. "It's not fair."

"Many things aren't fair."

"This is part of why I've been so distracted lately. I look at you and think about... well a lot of things. I didn't think that you could feel anything for me beyond friendship." She looked at him again. "I don't want to lose you or have things between us become weird. I like you a lot, but I don't want to lose you as a friend."

"You won't. I promise." He pulled away. "We need to clear the training room, and you need to get to dinner."

She nodded, and they stood. They cleaned up the training room in awkward silence. Rose really needed her world to stop going crazy. What did this mean? What would happen now that they had shared the fact that they cared for each other? She didn't know. Dimitri didn't know either.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting, you make me smile. Critiques are welcomed :)_


	7. Hearts

The Dragomirs had changed the mind of Corinne Badica, much to Evan Badica's relief. He couldn't imagine leaving St. Vladimir's, not now. He couldn't leave Jill. In the new year, there would be a memorial for everyone who had died- mother, father, uncle, aunt, cousins, and the rest.

Evan went through the motions of school day by day, not feeling that anything was real. Only Jill comforted him and music and practicing with his element. Friday, four days after his world had shattered, was the school's winter performance. The teachers who instructed the music and theater programs spoke to the audience before the students walked on stage. For the next two hours, the students and audience lost themselves in the performance.

Evan focused on his pieces so intensely that nothing else in the world existed for him. He was one with the music. The performance flew by until it was time for Jill to be on stage.

Jill was ethereal. She wore a pure white dress with translucent sleeves. Her curly brown hair was pinned up, though stray wisps escaped.

Evan watched her recite a dramatic reading. She put so much power and emotion in every word that everyone watched her with rapt attention. Though Evan was a grade ahead of Jill, sometimes he thought that she was the most mature person he knew. Her maturity showed in her acting. She was brilliant. Later in the performance, she danced with some other students to a medley of songs from the Nutcracker Suite.

The performance ended to the sound of thunderous applause. The performers all bowed multiple times before everyone began to disperse.

Evan found Jill backstage and kissed her. "You're incredible. I think half of the audience cried as you did your monologue."

She beamed. "Thank you. Are you coming to the after party?"

After major performances, the students would throw a party in the practice room. "Of course. I just need to get my violin put away. I'm surprised you're going. I thought you'd spend time with your family instead of the party."

She shook her head. "We're getting together tomorrow, so tonight we're all doing our own things. I'm glad you're going."

He nodded, smile fading. "I need to stay busy."

"I understand." She gave him another kiss. "I'll let you put away your violin. See you in a few minutes." With a squeeze of his hand, she walked away, hurrying off with the rest of the students who were going to the after party.

* * *

Rose made her way out of the theater with the crowds. She walked with Lissa and Christian.

"Jill did such a good job," Lissa said, "and she was so beautiful."

"She was great," Rose agreed. "Did your mom do her hair?"

"Yeah. I wish Andre could have seen her. I know mom and dad recorded it, but still."

"Why didn't your brother come," Christian asked.

Lissa rolled her eyes. "Safety concerns. He'll join us at the ski lodge. Dad's paranoid about all of us being in the same place at the same time for very long. The only exception he'll make is court. He doesn't even want all of us on the same planes at the same time."

Christian laughed. "Is your dad seriously that paranoid?"

"Yeah. I mean, I understand the need for our line to continue. It's a big deal that there are so few Dragomirs. Until Andre was born it was just my dad and grandfather. That's why Kevin isn't that big of a problem. The fact that Andre got Mia pregnant when she was a freshman was a big deal, but there are more of us now too."

They moved forward a few more steps. The theater was taking forever to empty.

"Are your parents trying to set your brother up with anyone to continue the Dragomir line?" Christian asked, voice dripping with caustic humor.

Lissa sighed, moving forward again in the line. "Maybe, who knows? If Andre was any other royal, I'm sure a lot of girls would just write him off as not worth it, but he's the Dragomir heir. He's important, no matter how many kids he has."

Christian looked at his feet for a moment. "Yeah, that's true." He looked at Lissa, worried. "Are your parents really okay with me dating you?"

Lissa took his hand, smiling. "Yeah, they really are. I think that they're just happy you're a royal and you aren't in trouble at school. Also, you haven't gotten me pregnant."

Rose groaned, interrupting Christian's reply. "Please, whatever you were going to say, don't. I do not need to hear anything about your love life."

"Don't you know most of it anyway?" Christian retorted.

"I know more about you than I ever needed to," Rose replied, grimacing. "Ugh, I just realized that Dimitri probably knows what your aunt and Ivan do."

Christian squirmed. "I did not need to think about that."

"It deserved sharing," Rose replied. They finally got out of the building.

"I just think you're jealous that Lissa is dating me and you don't have a boyfriend."

Conflicting feelings welled up in Rose. Memories of the year she had dated Mason and new memories of the wish she had to be with Dimitri. She missed being in a relationship. She missed kissing and everything else. She had closed the door on Mason, and she couldn't have Dimitri. She was jealous of anyone in a happy relationship. At the same time, she was genuinely happy for Lissa.

She gave him a thin smile, choosing diplomacy with her best friend's boyfriend. "I'm happy that Lissa has you. You make her happy."

Lissa looked sympathetically at her. 'Do you want to talk tomorrow?' she asked through the bond.

Rose nodded. "Yeah."

"I hate when you two do that," Christian muttered.

Lissa kissed his cheek. "It's just private girl talk." She looked at Rose. "We'll see you tomorrow in the banquet room?"

"Of course. I'll let you two love-birds go be love-birds."

They laughed, walking toward the school's chapel where they had a secret meeting place. Rose walked toward her dorm. She thought of Dimitri, out patrolling to school's grounds. Thinking and overthinking her feelings for Dimitri, she came to a conclusion- she loved him. It hurt to love him, to know that he was an impossible dream.

She walked slowly, not wanting company. Rose also didn't want to risk slipping into Lissa's mind while she and Christian did whatever with each other in the chapel's attic. She thought about the performance. Rose only went because of Jill. Overall, Rose thought theater and orchestra performances were boring, but she did like watching Jill perform.

Weirdly, Rose wasn't jealous of Jill's relationship with Evan. Maybe it was because Rose remembered the first time she saw Jill. When Jill had been welcomed into the Dragomir family, nothing could make her smile. Lissa and Jill had not gotten along well at first. It was Andre who took it upon himself to welcome his little sister into the family. Andre was the first one to see Jill smile. Rose had followed his efforts to cheer up Jill, and ever since became happy every time Jill smiled.

Why couldn't Rose have someone who made her happy? Why did she have to put every hope, dream, and wish aside to be a guardian? She wanted to be a guardian. She wanted to protect Lissa. She also wanted to be in love and build a life with someone. Was it even possible to do both?

Rose was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't see her mother until she nearly ran into her. "Oh, um, hi mom."

"Rose, I was looking for you."

What had Dimitri said to do when she ran into her mom? Breathe and count to ten? "I was at the performance."

Janine nodded, shifting as she stood. "Do you enjoy the performances?"

Rose shrugged. "Not really. I think it's boring, but I like supporting Jill."

"She was performing?"

"Yeah, she did dramatic readings and she dances. Her boyfriend plays the violin in the orchestra."

Janine Hathaway's neutral expression changed. Rose didn't know what her mother was thinking, just that something had shifted in her mother's mood. "I heard that you were at the Badica house."

Rose looked down, trying again to blot the images of death from her mind. "Yeah, I was supposed to take my qualifier since I missed it last year... I don't know if I'm supposed to have a third chance."

"You passed," Janine said simply.

Rose's eyes snapped up to meet her mother's. "How do you... what do you mean I passed? I never took it."

"It was decided by the guardians on site at the massacre. Apparently Guardian Belikov spoke with them about your situation, and they wrote letters of recommendation to the school."

"I... wow." She was speechless. Dimitri had ensured that she would pass.

"I heard that Guardian Belikov is your mentor."

"Yeah, he is. He's been training me to be the best in my class." Rose started walking toward her dorm. Janine walked with her.

"I heard that your scores for combat are at the top of your class."

Rose took a breath and counted. Her mom was praising her; she should accept it. However, she was mad that her mom had learned about her scores without ever asking her. "Yeah, I'm always in the top five for combat scores. I have to be good to protect one of the Dragomirs. I think Lissa and her parents would want me even if I wasn't the best, but I know that politics influence high level assignments."

Janine nodded. "I'm proud of how much you have accomplished."

Rose looked at her mom, startled. "Um, thank you."

They continued walking in silence for a minute. Rose was confused by her mother's presence and the entire conversation. Rose felt a sudden flash of emotion from Lissa and was nearly pulled into her friend's mind. Thanks to the training Dimitri had given her, Rose was able to fight the pull of the bond. Stopping, Rose shuddered. Feelings of jealousy stabbed at her heart.

"Is something wrong?" Janine was looking at Rose with concern.

Rose frowned. "It's just something with Lissa."

"From your bond with her?"

Rose glared at her mother. "Yeah."

"Is Lissa alright?"

Given that the emotions coming from Lissa were all very, very happy Rose only had one answer. "Yeah, she's fine. It's just unpleasant to be in someone else's head sometimes." She could see her mother's concern, and she hated it. How had her mother even learned about the bond? Something else Rose hadn't told her mother, but her mother knew. "Did they tell you how I have a bond with Lissa? Or do you just know that I have one?"

"I was told about your bond with Lissa after the incident with Victor Dashkov. I assume it has something to do with her element."

Rose's lips twisted into a bitter smile. No one was nearby who could overhear them. "Yeah, it does. I died in the car accident in February. Lissa's element, spirit, restored me and bound me to her."

Janine blanched, her eyes widening.

"And you never even came to see me after the accident. You didn't see me for three years! You didn't tell me you were coming now!" Rose's voice had grown sharp. She wanted to run to her room. She wanted to cry. Instead she stood there, watching her mother. "I saw my mentor die in front of me, his head nearly separated from his body, and you never came to see me."

"I didn't think you needed me anymore," Janine said quietly. "I didn't know."

"Why would you think I didn't need you? You're my mother!" Rose's voice was shaking, tears were threatening.

"Because you seemed to be happier with the Dragomirs than you were with me."

As if ice water had been thrown in her face, Rose was stunned. "You thought that I wanted them more than you?"

"Yes," Janine admitted. "I'm sorry. I was wrong."

Rose closed her eyes, letting the traitorous tears slip down her cheeks. She drew a deep breath and counted. She didn't know what to think. She was still too overloaded with everything else that was going on in her life to handle this admission of her mother's.

"I... can we talk about this tomorrow?"

Janine's voice was surprisingly gentle. "Of course."

Rose walked away from her mother, leaving Janine standing on the sidewalk. Rose hurried to her dorm. She pushed past a few groups of friends in the common area and hurried up the stairs. Meredith called to Rose as she passed Meredith's open door.

"Hey Rose!"

Rose stopped, backing up a few steps so that she could see Meredith. She was painting her nails, blonde hair falling around her shoulders. Meredith flashed Rose a smile. "I invited some others to come up and have a small party in a half hour. You should join." Seeing Rose's hesitation, Meredith continued, "I have rum and soda."

"How on Earth do you have rum?"

Meredith capped her nail polish, blowing on her nails as a Cheshire grin broke out on her face. "My uncle gave it to me if I promised to be responsible. He's here with his Moroi."

Rose leaned against the doorframe. The idea of drinking and having reckless fun sounded much better than being alone with her own thoughts and emotions for the moment. "Who all did you invite?"

"All novices! I invited Ivy, of course." Ivy was the only other girl among the senior novices. "Katie, Liz, and Amy from the junior girls."

"All girls, or did you invite guys too?"

"Oh, I invited guys. Eddie, Shane, Brett, Dan, Derek, and Mason all said they'd come." She had hesitated before mentioning Mason. "Are you okay with Mason being here? I know you two are talking again, but I don't want it to be awkward for either of you."

Rose shrugged. "It's fine." Was it really? "We can't keep avoiding each other forever if we want to have fun. Senior year will get very boring if we can't go to the same parties."

"Sooo, are you gonna have fun with us?"

Have fun or wallow in misery? A small smile found its way to Rose's lips as she pushed away everything that was bothering her. "Definitely. I just want to change."

Hurrying to her room, Rose briefly thought that going to this impromptu party was likely a bad idea. Get drunk with Mason and the other novices, what could possibly go wrong with that? She didn't spend long thinking about all the ways this party could go wrong. Instead, she focused on all the fun she could have very soon.

Rose changed out of the dress she had worn to the performance into jeans and a burgundy sweater. She brushed out her hair, then applied some eyeshadow and lipstick. She examined her appearance in the mirror and was happy with the look. She only wore socks on her feet. Since she was only going down the hall it didn't seem important to wear shoes.

Rose left her room and went back to Meredith's. The door was still open but only by a crack. Rose entered and was greeted by the people who had already joined Meredith. Ivy, Liz, Shane, and Eddie were already there. Rose found a drink and settled herself between Shane and Eddie on cushions along the wall.

They talked and sipped their drinks as they waited for the others to arrive. One by one, the other guests filled the room. They settled on the bed, the desk chair, and on the floor. Everyone watched as Mason entered. Rose gave him a friendly smile, which he returned. He sat on Eddie's other side.

"I didn't scare you off?" he asked Rose in low voice.

Rose shook her head. "Nope. I decided that senior year will suck if we keep avoiding being in the same room. Besides which, we're friends again right?"

"Right," he agreed.

They began playing board games once everyone was in the room. When the first game was finished, they played a round of poker. A few of the novices suggested strip poker, but that was shot down by the majority. Bored of normal games, they began playing other games.

Truth-or-dare was suggested but quickly rejected. Truth-or-dare among the novices had begun when they were elementary students. They had learned by middle school who would always choose truth, who would always choose dare, whose dares were not to be accepted, and whose truths were always lies. They had dared each other to swim in the ponds in winter, jump from the lower roofs of a few buildings, eat questionable combinations of food from the cafeteria, steal objects from their teachers, and swim naked in the school pool.

They had stopped playing truth-or-dare junior year after Shane was dared to run through the dorm's common room naked. Everyone involved in the game had been put in detention for a month, which included cleaning all of the bathrooms on campus.

"I've never?" Ivy suggested. Everyone agreed. The rules were simple, everyone would make a statement beginning with the words "I've never" and anyone who had done that thing would drink.

"I've never had detention every year since fourth grade," Eddie said.

Rose elbowed him before taking a drink. She was the only one to drink. "That's not fair!"

Amy's eyes were wide. "Every year?"

"Yeah, it's a long story." Still glaring at Eddie, Rose came up with her revenge. "I've never stripped in public on a dare."

Shane, Eddie, Mason, and Ivy drank.

Shane now looked at Rose for his own question. "I've never been caught in a compromising position with another student by a teacher or staff member."

A few laughed as Rose, Mason, Eddie, Ivy, Derek, Brett, and Liz all drank.

"In my defense," Eddie began, "Ellie was totally worth the detention."

Laughter began in earnest at Eddie's grin. Ellie was his ex-girlfriend. It had been a short relationship, and there were no hard feelings.

Dan looked at the others who had taken drinks. "I want to hear the rest of the stories."

Derek and Ivy blushed. She buried her face against his shoulder to hide the red creeping up her face as he replied. "Over the summer Petrov found us... in the woods. She was super pissed at us."

"She found me too!" Liz exclaimed. "Does she have a sixth sense for when we're actually having fun?" A few of them looked at the closed door as if it might burst open. It didn't. "I used to hook up with Kyle Ozera, and she caught us in one of the lounges no one uses in this building."

Brett sipped his drink before responding. "I was with Camille Conta for a few months last year, and I got caught by her dorm matron. Camille wasn't thrilled and said that she couldn't be with a novice."

"Royal snob," Meredith muttered into her drink, to which most of them voiced agreement.

Everyone now looked at Rose and Mason, the last two who hadn't shared. Rose and Mason looked at one another briefly before both shrugged. Rose spoke up.

"You know the supply closet where we store all the gym mats?"

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Well, we were assigned to clean the mats that month."

All of the high school students, except for a few royals, were given tasks to complete around campus on a bi-weekly basis. They were paid a small amount for the work, and that money could be used in the school store. Novices and poor Moroi would often take on extra tasks in order to boost their funds.

"We?" Shane looked at Rose, brows raised. She glared at him.

"Yeah," Mason interjected, "we."

Shane's mouth opened, then snapped shut. "Sorry."

Mason and Rose both rolled their eyes. Rose groaned. "Ugh, it's not a big deal. We put away the mats, and then... well we were dating then, and it's a pretty comfortable and private place."

"Is that a recommendation?" Meredith laughed.

Rose shrugged, grinning. "I'm full of recommendations."

"So, who caught you?" asked Liz.

Rose's face fell. She looked at her cup. Mason answered for both of them. "Guardian Martins found us." He let the words hang heavily for a moment. They had all known and liked Guardian Martins. "We didn't get in trouble, but he did make us clean up the room while he stayed outside the door. It was pretty mortifying." He shook off the dark mood, smiling again. "Well, how about we continue?"

Katie smiled a little as she came up with her question. "How about something more innocent? I've never fallen off the balance beams."

Everyone, including Katie, drank. Balance beams were part of the regular training the novices went through. Everyone fell off eventually. The mood of the room lightened, and the next questions were silly. When they tired of the game, the suggestion of spin-the-bottle was raised. It was debated for a few moments before they all agreed.

Rose was drunk enough that the idea of kissing her friends seemed like a great idea. The bond was numb, but feelings of jealousy toward Lissa still lingered in Rose. Besides, after years of truth-or-dare and spin-the-bottle, Rose had already kissed most of the other party guests. Even kissing Mason again seemed like a good idea. Sober Rose would have heartily disagreed with drunk Rose, but that rational voice was mostly silenced by rum. Kissing her classmates seemed like a perfectly reasonable way to relieve some stress after the week Rose was having. It would also distract her from thinking about Dimitri.

They all took turns spinning a mostly empty bottle of soda. They never defined what type of kisses they were supposed to give. Derek and Ivy only gave the others kisses on the cheek. Some of the others gave pecks while a few were more than willing to make out with whomever the bottle landed on. After a few times around the circle, Rose's spin landed on Mason.

Rose drew a deep breath and looked at Mason. She shrugged, forcing bravado. "It's just a friendly game, right?"

"Yeah," he agreed.

Rose's heart was pounding too wildly to notice how quiet everyone else had become. She moved around Eddie, facing Mason. She moved closer, trembling a little. She laughed nervously. It was just a stupid kiss, right?

She wobbled a little from the alcohol as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her close. Their lips touched. It was familiar and sweet. The scent and taste of him evoked so much inside her which had lain dormant for months. Her eyes closed and she lost herself in the kiss.

So many memories flooded Rose's mind. Hundreds of kisses. Stolen moments in lounges, in the woods, behind the bleachers in the gym and sports fields. Clumsy hands running along naked flesh. Wandering hands and lips. And that first time...

A few wolf-whistles broke off their kissing. They pulled apart, both blushing. Suddenly, Rose didn't want to be there anymore. She stood, wobbling.

"Awe, don't run away now," one of the guys said. In her haste to escape, Rose didn't know which one.

"I need to use the restroom, and I'm pretty tired." Rose turned back to face them. "It was fun, see you all later."

Rose caught the looks of concern from a few of her friends and the confusion on Mason's face which mirrored Rose's own inner turmoil. She left the room. Not wanting Mason or anyone else to follow, Rose made her way to the stairs. Still wobbling, she made her way down the flights of stairs until she reached the ground floor. A side exit was usually unwatched at this time of day, so Rose was able to slip outside unnoticed.

Rose walked to the back of the building and slumped to the ground. She brought her knees up to her chest, resting her face on them. She wanted to cry. Did she want Mason again? Or did she just miss how familiar he was? Her thoughts moved to Dimitri. She thought about straddling Dimitri the previous day. She wished she could have kissed Dimitri instead of Mason. Her heart ached that she couldn't have Dimitri. Drunk and emotional, Rose let her tears fall.

She had stopped crying by the time she heard footsteps. She looked up and saw him. Dimitri was walking toward her, an expression of confusion changing to concern as he drew near. Her insides twisted.

"Rose? What are you doing?"

"Watching my life fall apart," she muttered. She didn't want to talk to him. Or did she? She didn't know.

He took a seat beside her. "How is your life falling apart?"

"My mom talked to me, saying that she stayed away because I wanted the Dragomirs. And I hate knowing that Lissa is in a happy relationship, which makes me feel guilty because I should be happy for her. I want to be happy, but I get so jealous when I feel them together. Don't you ever feel that way? Or do you just want duty more than me?"

She swore, burying her face in her hands. She had just said far too much.

"Are you drunk?" His tone was far too neutral for Rose to determine his thoughts or feelings.

"Yes, I thought it would help, and it did for a while."

He drew a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Rose, you can't deal with your issues by drinking them away. You shouldn't have alcohol anyway."

"Don't mentor me right now," she growled.

"You're sitting out here in the cold, without shoes or a jacket, drunk and upset. You've had a rough week between the massacre and the issues you're having with your mother. I'm concerned for you."

"Concerned," she spat bitterly. "You were more than concerned yesterday."

Dimitri was quiet for a few moments before responding. "Maybe my concern for you is greater because of the way I feel for you."

"And how do you feel?" She was pleading with him, wanting him to feel as much for her as she did for him.

He shook his head. "Roza, we can't talk about that."

She stood, thankfully sober enough that she didn't wobble. He tried to reach out to help her stand, but she pulled away. "Can't or won't? Do you know how difficult it is for me to look at you after yesterday? And you can somehow act like nothing happened. How can everything be the same between us?"

Pain flickered across his face as he stood. "Of course I know how difficult it is, but nothing can happen between us. If we start something now, it will only be harder to leave you when the school year ends."

She closed her eyes for a moment to stem the tide of her tears. "Why not live in the now? Who cares about the future? I died last year! You died four years ago. How can you keep wasting your life on duty and nothing else?"

"I owe Ivan my life," Dimitri said calmly, "and I am a guardian."

"Don't use that as an excuse." She glared at him. "Brandon and Celeste are together, even though he will leave when the year ends too. They are both guardians. You're just afraid to admit that you have feelings for me. I love you Dimitri. Maybe I could get over it if I knew you didn't feel anything for me, but I know you do. Do you really think I can handle six more months of you being my mentor, knowing that I love you and you feel something too?"

She cursed herself for saying it out loud. She was too distracted to notice the transformation in his expression. He moved closer to her, wrapping her in a tight embrace. She cried against his chest as he held her. He stroked her hair and her back, attempting to soothe her.

He kissed the top of her head, holding his lips against her hair for a long moment. "We can talk about this tomorrow when you're sober."

She sniffed and hiccupped against him. "Tomorrow is Christmas," she muttered. "We have lunch with the Dragomirs and everyone. I also promised Lissa and my mom to talk."

"We can find time."

"You promise?"

"I promise Roza."

She pulled back enough so that she could look up at him. He regarded her with warmth and concern. "Why did you call me Roza?"

He smiled at her. She could see affection in that smile. "Roza is Russian for Rose." He grew serious a moment later as he touched her hands. "You are freezing. Come on, I'll take you in through one of the side doors. You're past curfew."

She nodded, realizing that she was indeed very cold. "Alright."

They walked to one of the doors. He used a key card on the door and let her inside. He walked with her to her room. "Try to sleep," he said. "I promise that we can talk about everything tomorrow."

She nodded again. "I'll hold you to that."

"Good night Roza."

"Good night Dimitri."

Rose shut the door behind her and threw herself onto her bed. She passed out within moments, too exhausted to bother changing out of her dirty clothes. Her last thought before sleep took her was a happy one. Dimitri had held her and kissed the top of her head in an affectionate way. He hadn't freaked out at her confession of love. So maybe, just maybe, he loved her too.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting, you make me smile. Critiques are welcomed :)_


	8. Steps

Adrian Ivashkov watched the bubbles in his champagne glass with rapt interest. He was certain that Christmas had been fun once, a very long time ago. Somewhere along the line, Christmas had become a day for Ivashkov social functions. He always had to attend. He always had to act his best. He always had to pretend that he cared. He was certain that somewhere there were people who still enjoyed Christmas, but Adrian was not one of those people.

The bubbles slowed, which was odd. Adrian looked up and saw a woman, who had to be close in age to him, concentrating on his drink. She wore a red gown which brushed the floor. She looked from his drink to his face, grinning. He couldn't resist smiling back at her.

"I do believe that is the first time I have seen someone use magic like that before."

She shrugged, grey eyes sparkling in amusement. "Sometimes I have to do something interesting to stave off the boredom of these parties."

He tilted his glass toward her in a mock toast of agreement. "That's why I watch the bubbles. Which element were you controlling- water or air?"

"Air. The dynamic is more interesting when you have another element interfering with your own."

Adrian nodded. He took a peek at her aura and liked the colors he saw. "What's your name?"

"Lauren Voda," she replied. She brushed straight brown hair behind one shoulder before shaking his hand in greeting.

"Adrian Ivashkov. What are you doing at an Ivashkov party? Not that I'm complaining."

She laughed again. "My grandmother is Princess Priscilla Voda." She tilted her head toward where Priscilla stood with the Queen and a few other high ranking royals. "She's trying to show me off."

He sipped his champagne. She sipped from a glass of her own. "I'm glad my parents haven't tried that with me."

"Oh? Rumor has it that her majesty, your great aunt, has plans for your future."

His nose wrinkled briefly before he flashed her a charming smile. "Not that I'm aware. Who are they rumoring for me now?"

"It's difficult to say as it changes so often, but I think some royals are angling for you to be interested in Vasilisa Dragomir."

"Really?" Adrian was surprised by that. How old was Vasilisa? He knew that she was still in school. "How do you know that?"

Lauren leaned against the wall, sipping her champagne as she stared away from him. "My grandmother and your great aunt are trying to set me up with Andre Dragomir." She didn't sound overly pleased by the idea.

"A match made in politics," he drawled. "Though I supposed you could do worse than the Dragomir heir."

"I've never met him, though his reputation precedes him." She frowned. "Have you ever met him?"

Adrian shook his head. "We've been at the same parties a few times, but we've never been introduced. Rumor has it that there are bets on which of us will be the more scandalous royal in a given month."

She nearly choked on her champagne as she laughed. "Which of you is winning this month?"

"So far, Wesley Drozdov has that dubious honor."

"Ugh." Lauren's look of disgust at Wesley's name made Adrian chuckle. "How about we don't talk about him?"

"I'll drink to that." Adrian tilted his glass toward hers, and she tapped her glass against his in a toast. They both drank, finishing their champagne. "So is your grandmother going to introduce you to Andre?"

"Yes, apparently they think meeting him at the ski lodge banquets this coming week will be the perfect time to get to know him. Not that we couldn't just meet here. Are you going to the ski lodge?"

"Yes. My parents enjoy dragging me to all of the big social engagements of the season."

"Well, at least if we get bored, we can find each other at the parties." They both smiled.

"I'll be certain to do just that," he promised.

Adrian and Lauren talked for a little while longer before separating to mingle with others. Near the end of the banquet, Queen Tatiana found Adrian outside smoking.

"How many times have I told you to stop smoking," she chided gently.

He laughed, holding the cigarette out to her. She took it, inhaled briefly, then handed it back to him while exhaling. "You say it all the time."

"I do wish that you would find healthier habits."

"I paint, which is a completely healthy habit."

"Yes, that is true."

He drew deeply from the cigarette, letting the bitter smoke fill his mouth and lungs. "I don't particularly want to go to the ski lodge."

"I'm aware. However, I believe that you should go."

"Why is that?" Adrian's brows raised at the pensive expression his aunt wore.

"I believe that you should have a conversation with Vasilisa Dragomir."

Adrian's earlier conversation with Lauren Voda sprang quickly to the front of his mind. "Why?"

Tatiana laid a firm but gentle hand on his shoulder. "Because I believe that you and she may have something in common."

"Meaning?"

She smiled enigmatically. "You'll need to go to the ski lodge to find that out. I will see you when you return." With that, Tatiana walked back inside, leaving a very confused Adrian to wonder what his great aunt was up to.

* * *

"Why is my son blue?" Mia Rinaldi regarded Andre Dragomir and their son Kevin with thinly controlled anger.

Andre looked at where his son sat in the tub. The tub was ringed in blue, and there was still blue paint on the toddler. "He found paint."

Mia's mouth opened and closed more than once. Andre could see her working to calm down.

"He's fine. It's just messy."

"It is not fine! What if he ate it?" Her voice was hard and angry, but she controlled her volume so that her son wouldn't overhear and be upset.

"It's non-toxic."

"Oh well that's reassuring," she snapped. "Three hours. Is it really so difficult for you to be a dad for three hours?"

"I was watching Violet too. Kat was on duty. I thought I was doing a good job."

Mia's fists curled and she clenched her jaw. Andre knew that Mia wasn't thrilled about Katrina's existence, but the two women did attempt to cooperate for the sake of the children. "Just get him cleaned up."

"Mia..."

She threw up her hands. "Not now Andre." She walked away, leaving him in the bathroom to continue cleaning their son.

Andre knelt beside the tub and smiled at his son. "No more paint for you."

"Boo!" Kevin said, in his best attempt at the word 'blue'.

Andre chuckled wearily as he began scrubbing more paint off of the little boy. "Yes, blue."

Cleaning the toddler took a long time. By the end, half of the bathroom was also slightly blue. Andre was glad that his family had people who cleaned the house for them. He wondered how normal people managed to raise children without assistance. Andre was convinced that the house would be a disaster if it was just him and the kids.

Wrapping Kevin in a towel, Andre picked up his son and walked to his son's room. He fought to get his son into clean clothes, since the boy preferred running around naked. When the toddler was changed, they made their way downstairs.

Andre heard the sound of laughter from the family room. Mia and Katrina's voices were mingled together in merriment. Andre was shocked. He had never heard them getting along before.

Kevin squirmed in Andre's arms as they approached. Andre set his son down at the entrance of the room and watched from the doorframe. Mia and Katrina were seated on the floor in front of the Christmas tree. Violet was in a baby swing on the floor beside them.

Kevin wobbled excitedly toward his mother and half-sister. "Mama!"

Mia lit up as she looked at her son. "Are you clean now baby?"

Katrina laughed. "For now."

Mia joined in her laughter as she pulled her son into a close hug. "You're such a messy baby." With a kiss to his head, she let Kevin wander to his toys. Mia looked at Andre with an apologetic smile. "You were sweet to watch both of them without help. It was nice to get out and finish getting together the presents for everyone."

Andre took a seat near the mothers of his children. "I'm their father. I should be responsible for them. I'm sorry that the paint wasn't out of his reach."

Mia nodded, idly twirling a lock of blonde hair between her fingers. "It happens. He's nearly eaten a lot of things he shouldn't have near his mouth. It's not your fault."

Andre knew that was the closest thing to an apology he would get out of Mia. One of the biggest issues Andre had with Mia was her inability to actually apologize for anything. He decided to let it go and accept her truce.

"Should we open their presents?" Andre suggested.

Mia and Katrina agreed, and soon all three opened Christmas presents for the two children. Kevin assisted with the paper around his presents, tearing at it with small hands. Afterward, Kevin played with his new toys while Andre cleaned up the shreds of paper.

Coming back to the room from throwing away the paper, Andre smiled at the sight he saw. Kevin was playing in front of the Christmas tree. Mia and Katrina had moved to the sofa. Violet was cradled in her mother's arms, eating. Mia and Katrina were talking again, and Andre could see no tension between them. In spite of the day's bad start, everything had turned out perfectly.

Andre had given the house's staff the day off. He had also given his guardians the day off. They were both still at court, only a call away if he needed them. He had wanted to spend Christmas together with his children and their mothers, and it had somehow worked out with only minimal issues. An added bonus was that now Mia and Kat seemed to actually be on speaking terms, much to Andre's relief.

He rejoined them, taking a seat on the floor with his son.

"So, I wanted to tell you both something." Mia's expression was wary while Katrina's was curious. "I'm going to be at school part time next semester. My parents and both of you were right that I needed to change my priorities. I'll be taking three classes, and only on campus two days per week. We'll stay down there the night before and then drive back after classes. I'll be at court the rest of the time."

Slow smiles spread across the faces of Andre's ex-girlfriends. Maybe he had finally made a good decision.

"Have you told your parents yet?" Katrina asked.

"No, not yet. I wanted to tell you two first. I'll tell them at the ski lodge."

"You're leaving tomorrow, right?" asked Mia.

"Yeah, the jet leaves first thing tomorrow. I'll be with all the other royals who are going. I think we're there for a week, then my parents and I will come back after the first of the year."

Katrina smiled tiredly. "Well, try not to have too much fun without us."

Mia on the other hand, was frowning. Andre realized that Mia would have been a guest at the ski lodge too if she was still at St. Vladimir's. Andre's parents had found jobs at court for Mia's parents when Kevin came along. Not wanting to spend the school year separated from her child, Mia was taken out of the academy and tutored privately at court. Although he would never regret Kevin's existence, Andre felt guilty for changing Mia's world so much.

"I probably won't have much fun. There are supposed to be social events for the royals every day, which of course I have to attend. Liss and Jill will be able to get out of some of the events, but not all."

Mia forced a small smile. She got along with Lissa and Jill. "Be sure to tell them how much we miss them."

"I will," he promised.

They spent another hour talking and caring for the children before Mia and Kevin left. Katrina went to bed a short time later. Andre stayed awake with his daughter, rocking her and talking to her until she drifted asleep in his arms. Christmas had been a success. Andre wondered how everything had gone for his family at St. Vladimir's.

* * *

Lissa spent most of the day wondering what was going on with Rose. There had been distractions, many distractions, before they could sit down alone and talk. Lissa and Jill had started the day with their parents. For lunch, they celebrated Christmas with a larger group. Christian, Tasha, Ivan, Rose, Janine, Evan, his aunt Corinne, Jill's friend Alice, Dimitri, Brandon, and the Dragomir family guardians were all there.

Lissa had tried talking to Rose during lunch, but Rose shrugged it off. She promised that they would talk later. Christian had distracted Lissa throughout most of the meal, but she still looked at Rose worriedly on and off. After lunch, Rose left with her mother. Lissa, Christian, and Jill went to spend time with Eric and Rhea Dragomir. Ivan and Tasha joined them. Evan had also been invited, but he wanted to be alone.

An hour later, Rose finally texted Lissa to come to her room. Rose's door was open a crack when Lissa arrived.

"Hey, can we talk finally?" Lissa asked, pushing the door open.

"Yeah, come in Liss." Rose was sprawled across her bed, studying something small in the palm of her hand. Lissa could see that Rose had been crying, which was very unusual for her.

Shutting the door behind her, Lissa walked into the room and sat beside Rose. "You've been acting weird all day. Yesterday too. What's wrong?"

"Everything."

Lissa arched an eyebrow and waited for more.

Rose raised a hand, and a necklace tumbled out from her palm, dangling in the air where she held it. A curiously shaped pendant, like an eye, hung from the chain. "My mom was telling me about my father. He apparently gave her this a long time ago. It's for protection from evil spirits. She never talked about him before, but I think she cares about him. Or cared about him. I don't know."

"How are things between you and your mom?"

Rose shrugged. "Improving, maybe. I think she wants us to be on good terms. I want that too. It's so difficult though. I..." She sighed, wiping at more tears. "I hate crying," she muttered darkly.

Lissa chuckled. "I know you do. It's not a bad thing to cry; you know that. You don't have to be tough all the time."

"Yes I do." The fierceness of Rose's voice and face surprised Lissa. "In six months it will be my duty to protect you. I have to stay tough in order to do that."

Lissa rested a hand on Rose's arm and squeezed. "Rose, you have protected me all your life. You don't need to sacrifice your emotions to protect me."

Rose squeezed her eyes shut. She shifted, sitting up in the bed. "I do though." She looked at Lissa. "Don't you realized that? All guardians sacrifice their lives for the Moroi. If I am your guardian, I have to give up my life in order to devote my life to you. I can't marry or have a family or love the people I want. I will give up everything for you."

Lissa raised a hand to her mouth, startled. "I wouldn't force you to give up anything."

Rose considered Lissa for a moment, eyes momentarily going blank. She softened. A sad smile crossed her lips. "You really think that there's a way for me to be your guardian and to have a love like the one you found?"

"You know I do."

Rose laughed, throwing her arms around Lissa. "Thank you."

"Is that what has been bothering you so much?" Lissa murmured into Rose's hair.

Rose shook her head, pulling away. "There's more."

"More?"

"So I may have kissed Mason last night."

"You did?"

"Uh, yeah. But it's not what you think. We were playing spin the bottle and drinking with some other novices."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Confused." Rose stood, walked across the room, and picked up a piece of paper from her desk. She set the necklace down and walked back to Lissa, handing her the note.

 _Rose,_

 _I'm sorry if anything I did bothered you last night. I still want us to be friends. I understand if you need your space. If you want to talk, I'm here for you. I don't expect anything to change between us, unless you want something to change._

 _-Merry Christmas, Mason_

"That's very sweet of him."

"Yeah," Rose groaned.

"So, what else don't I know?"

Rose walked away, pacing. "Um... I may have told Dimitri I love him and we're supposed to talk later and he has feelings too." Her words came out in a jumbled rush.

"What?"

"Yeah." Rose sighed, taking a seat on the bed again.

"When did that happen?"

"Two days ago when Dimitri and I had our last practice we might have talked about it briefly. Then last night I ran into him when I was drunk and I told him that I love him. He told me that we'll talk today, but there hasn't been time yet."

"That explains why you two were so awkward at lunch."

"Don't remind me."

"What did Dimitri say when you talked about it two days ago?"

"He gave me a list of excuses for why we can't be together. He said that our age and the bonds make it impossible for us to be together, but he also said that Ivan thinks we should date."

"And you want to date Dimitri?"

"Yes, I love him."

"And Mason?"

Rose groaned, burying her face in her hands. "I don't know. How do I know if I miss him or if I just miss being in a relationship. I don't feel the same way for both of them. I feel more strongly about Dimitri, but I miss Mason."

Lissa pressed her lips tightly together as she thought. "No two relationships are the same. I sometimes miss things about Aaron and Kyle, but I love Christian more. I loved them differently. Being with Christian now... I can't imagine going back to either of them. I can't imagine planning the future with them."

"I can't imagine the future at all," Rose confessed. "I never thought about what life would be like after we graduate. Even now, I want to spend my time living in the now. I died last year. I could die again tomorrow. I would rather enjoy the time I have instead of holding back for a future that may never come."

"I don't want you to die tomorrow."

Rose laughed. "Neither do I. Are you okay with me liking Dimitri?"

Lissa smiled slightly. "I'm not going to encourage you to pursue him. I mean, he is a lot older than us."

"Not that much older."

"But, if you two want to date, I don't see the problem. I'm certain that Ivan and I could figure out ways to make our schedules work for both of you if it lasts. It won't even be an issue until after we graduate in June. Talk to him. Really talk to him. There might be more reasons for his reluctance than he is letting on."

Rose sighed. "I guess you're right." She picked up her cellphone and typed a message. It dinged a moment later in response. "He'll be over soon."

"Do you want me to go?"

Rose shook her head. "Stay with me until he gets here?"

"Of course."

* * *

Slipping his phone into a pocket, Dimitri made his way from the guest apartments to Rose's dorm. He was usually glad that the academy had its own cell phone tower which allowed for quick communication on campus and with the outside world. At the moment, Dimitri almost wished that there was no cellphone tower. He wanted to avoid Rose. He wanted to avoid thinking about his feelings.

Dimitri wondered what he should actually say to Rose. Every rational part of his mind shouted that nothing could happen with her. It didn't matter how she felt or if he reciprocated those feelings; they didn't have a future together.

Then there was the less rational part of his mind. The part of his mind which watched every move Rose made. That studied the waves of her hair, the curves of her body, the way her eyes betrayed her thoughts, and the way her lips curled when she smiled. The part of his mind which wanted to know her. Wanted to know her likes and dislikes. Wanted to know what made her passions run hot. Wanted her. Her mind, her heart, her body.

So far reason was winning over desire. It wasn't easy. Dimitri would have had an easier time ignoring his attraction to Rose if he wasn't her mentor. He couldn't abandon her. He was the only shadow kissed person in her life, and she needed guidance. Dimitri knew that she was learning to control the side effects of spirit due to the lessons she and Lissa had with Ivan and himself.

Dimitri also thought that he would have an easier time controlling his reactions to Rose if he wasn't bound to Ivan. Ivan's feelings were always spilling over into Dimitri, no matter how good they had both grown at controlling the bond. Now that Tasha was around, Ivan's emotions were at a near constant high. Ivan adored her, and that heady emotion fed into Dimitri's own feelings for Rose.

Rose. What would he tell Rose?

Dimitri knocked on the door to Rose's room and was startled when Lissa opened it to let him inside. She gave him a strange smile before excusing herself. Dimitri closed the door behind him. Rose was across the room, packing her bags for the trip.

"You didn't pack yet?"

"Nope. I like to procrastinate." Rose looked at him briefly before shoving an unfolded sweater into a duffle bag. "Plus I was drinking last night instead of packing, remember."

"Yes," he said evenly, "I remember. How did you get alcohol?"

She laughed. "I'll never rat on my friends."

"You are all under age."

She turned toward him, another sweater in her hands. "Are you telling me that you never drank when you were at school?"

He gave her a wry smile. "I did but not often. I don't usually drink, not after seeing what my father was like when drunk."

"Oh! I'm sorry... I didn't mean..."

"It's fine." He waved his hand in dismissal. "You asked an honest question, and I gave you an honest answer."

She nodded, shoving the sweater into a bag.

He took a seat at her desk. "Do you want to talk about yesterday?"

She shoved a few more things into her bags in silence, not looking at him. She zipped up her backpack before turning to look at him. He could see worry written plainly on her face.

"I feel like an idiot for telling you how I feel."

"You aren't an idiot," he assured her.

"Really? One day we agree to just be friends and the next I'm practically throwing myself at you, but I'm not an idiot?"

"Our hearts aren't easy things to control."

She snorted. "I know."

"Why don't we both sit, so that we can talk?" Standing at the closet put her as far from him as she could be in her small dorm room.

With a sigh, she moved around her bed and sat on the side of her bed which was closest to him. They now sat only a few feet apart.

"Why were you so affectionate with me last night? You didn't say that you love me too, but you were... well you were more than friendly."

He thought about his answer for a few moments before replying. "I care about you. I'm not going to lie to you and say that I only see you as my trainee or a friend. I see you as more than a friend. I also won't lie to you and tell you that I love you."

Her face fell. She wrapped her arms around herself.

"Rose, I try to be very careful with my words. I don't easily say that I love anyone. Love is a word that is used so casually by many people, but I am not one of those people."

She bit her lip, nodding slowly. "That's fair. I guess. At least I didn't scare you away."

"Nothing you say or do could scare me away, but I am trying to be cautious with you. I don't want to hurt you. I also don't want us to be in a situation that is beyond our control."

"Like what?" Her nose wrinkled in confusion.

He sighed. "What would you want from me, if there was nothing standing in the way?"

She hesitated briefly and flushed red as she answered. "I want to date you."

"And you don't see any obstacles to that, do you?" He chuckled.

"No, I don't. Well, other than you telling me no."

"The problem is that all I see are the obstacles. I think about the questions people will ask because I am older than you. I think about being bonded to two different people. I think about scheduling difficulties."

"Lissa said that she will work with me on our schedule."

His lips twitched into a small smile. At least he understood Lissa's expression now. "I also think about the future. I told you that my last girlfriend left me so that she could have children. Have you even thought about having children? Have you considered the possible outcomes of a relationship with another dhampir in the long term?"

She was staring at her hands now. "No."

"I know that you want to live in the now, but I can't. If I am with someone, I want to be with that woman for the long term."

"I want that with you," she whispered.

Dimitri's mind briefly flickered to Ivan. Ivan and Tasha had left for a walk shortly before Rose texted Dimitri. They were in the gardens now, and Dimitri could feel every emotion that Ivan was feeling in that moment. Dimitri pulled himself back to his own mind and body. He wished that it was possible to have so much confidence in a relationship. He wished that he wasn't jealous of Ivan.

"But will you want that in six months?" His tone was gentle, but his words were painfully blunt.

Rose snapped her gaze to him, tears welling in them. "Yes. I never felt like this toward anyone before, not even Mason. When I think about you, it's easier for me to sleep. You chase away my nightmares. You understand me. You know me better than anyone ever has. I used to find it easy to crush on someone or flirt with someone, but you are the only one I think about now."

The emotions mixing in Dimitri were strange and tumultuous. He couldn't separate his own feelings for Rose from the waves of emotion that were coursing through the bond. It was frustrating. He closed his eyes briefly in an attempt to block out Ivan.

"I believe you feel that way," he began calmly, "but I... it isn't that easy for me."

Now she closed her eyes. "So, that's not a yes or a no from you."

"I think, for the moment, all I can be is your friend."

She opened her eyes, wry humor on her face. "A friend who wants me as more than a friend."

He laughed. "Yes."

She groaned, playful now. "I don't know how you can be so self-controlled."

"It isn't easy," he admitted, "especially with Ivan's emotions pouring into me."

She eyed him curiously. "And what emotions are those?"

"Very happy ones lately," he replied drily.

"Lissa has had some of those too. How do you deal with it? With... well with their sex life?" She took a deep breath. "I know it's a personal question, and really awkward given our current discussion, but you are my mentor for all things shadow kissed."

"Sometimes I go to the gym. Often I can block it out, though I do know more about their sex life than I ever wanted to know about anyone's sex life that isn't my own."

Rose made a face. "Doesn't that make it more difficult for you to... um... not have a sex life?"

Dimitri arched an eyebrow. "I am not answering that question, and you know why."

She sighed, defeated. "Fine. Is Ivan's mind bothering you now?"

"Yes."

"Are they...?"

"No, Rose, they aren't. For your information, they are having a conversation."

She tilted her head to the side in confusion. "What are they having a conversation about?"

Dimitri smiled. "You'll have to wait to find out."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Is he...? Did he propose?"

"You'll have to find that out tomorrow." Dimitri laughed. "If she is wearing a ring, you'll know."

She groaned, throwing a pillow at his face. He caught it before it made contact. He stood. "I should let you finish packing. Did you have any more questions?"

She sighed, accepting the pillow from him. "Not that you'll give me a good answer to."

"Like?"

She stood, chewing on her lip. "What is your answer to the question you asked me? What would you want from me, if there was nothing standing in the way?"

"You." He didn't even hesitate.

Her eyes went wide. "Me?"

He stepped closer to her. One hand reached out, caressing her cheek. She sighed, leaning into his touch. The hand trailed to her hair, twining a strand of dark brown hair around one finger before letting it drop.

"If nothing was standing in the way, I would date you."

She swallowed hard, staring at him. "I want to kiss you."

"Rose..."

"I know it's dumb and irresponsible for me to say that, but I figured that right now we're being open and honest, so I might as well just say it."

"I can't," he whispered. He knew that desire showed plainly on his face. It would be so easy to wrap his arms around her, draw her to himself, and kiss her. "If I kiss you, I won't stop."

Rose drew in a sharp breath.

Dimitri took a step back before he did something stupid. "Good night Rose."

Dimitri fled Rose's room before he did anything he would regret. He went to the gym to work off the frustration growing within him. The last thing he wanted was to go back to the apartment, where Ivan and Tasha were returning from their walk.

* * *

Ivan Zeklos walked with Tasha Ozera through the Academy's gardens. When he had arrived at the start of November, there was still some color in the immaculately laid landscapes. The gardens were now mostly brown, white, and grey. There was some color where evergreen hedges showed through the snow. Even so, there was a certain charm to the snow crusted sculptures, fountains, and hedges.

"I think I understand why you like this place so much," Ivan said. "Everything is so peaceful."

She smiled, taking his hand. "When I was a little girl, I would curl up on the bench over there and read. Obviously I never did that in winter, but any time the weather was warm, this is where I was."

"Sometimes I still can't reconcile the quiet woman who curls up with a book and the woman who gives rousing speeches about justice and inequality."

She laughed. "Reading gives me material for my speeches and an escape from the real world."

"And fighting helps you stay safe."

She looked up at him. "It keeps more than just me safe. Christian and I would be dead if I hadn't fought back. I never want to be weak again."

"I know." He traced the scar on her cheek with a gentle hand. He ran his fingers along the line of her jaw, then down the length of her neck. "It's one of the things I love about you."

They neared the center of the garden where a fountain stood. It was off for the winter. Ice covered the surface of the fountain. They stopped. The world was silent.

Ivan shifted on his feet. One of his hands was still in Tasha's while the other played anxiously at his coat pocket. "You know, I've been thinking about the future."

"What about it?" She tilted her head to the side, looking up at him curiously.

"Our future. We've talked about it before, but we've mostly just gone with the flow. Spending a month apart and a month together." He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. "I hate the months away from you."

"I don't like them either. Do you want that to change?" She spoke lightly, happily, hopefully.

He smiled. "Yes. Tasha, we've been together for four years. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

Eyes wide and shining with emotion, she nodded. "Yes."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet bag. He let go of her hand. Opening the bag, he tipped it out onto his open palm.

Tasha gasped, looking at the silver ring which was set with a ruby and two sapphires. "Isn't that your grandmother's ring?"

"Yes, one of them. She had several heirloom rings that she gave to each of her grandchildren." He held it between two fingers, looking at the sparkle of the stones. He caught her hand with his free hand and slipped the ring onto her finger. "And now it's yours."

She fixed her gaze where their hands were joined. "What will your parents think?"

He laughed. "I don't care what they think. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He moved closer, kissing her softly. Releasing their hands, they wrapped their arms around one another.

"I love you too," she said between kisses. Content, she rested her head against his chest. "You know, we have to tell Christian."

He chuckled. "Yes, I know. However, I think he's come to like me over the past several weeks."

"He's liked you for the past couple years. I'm glad that he has you in his life."

"I'm glad to know him. He's a good young man." They separated, holding hands again as they began to walk back toward the campus buildings. "You know, if Christian and Lissa stay together, we could be uncle and aunt to little Dragomirs one day."

"Yes, but hopefully not for several years. They're still so young. Besides..." She paused briefly to give him a sly look. "I was thinking that we might have children of our own before I have grand-nieces and nephews."

"Mmm, I think we could work on that. How soon were you thinking?" His voice was a low rumble as he pulled her close.

She laughed with delight. "Some time after the wedding, which we haven't even planned."

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against his chest. He nestled his head on her shoulder. "We could elope now."

She turned slightly, kissing his cheek. "I don't know. I've always been a rebel. Something traditional might be nice. Less than a year, maybe in the fall?"

"At court, with all the leaves in shades of red and gold."

She sighed rapturously. "That sounds perfect."

"And then, in a year or two, children?"

She pressed closer to him, pulling his arms tighter around her. "I like that plan."

They kissed, long and passionate. Ivan's hands started to wander, but he stopped himself when he remembered that they were in a public area on a school campus. They pulled apart, and continued walking back to the guest apartments hand in hand.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting, you make me smile. Critiques are welcomed :)_

 _See, I promised Adrian would be in chapter 8! Mia's line "Why is my son blue?" is another one of my favorite lines in the story so far. Dimitri's level of control is top tier..._


	9. Introductions

Andre Dragomir arrived at the ski lodge before his parents and sisters. The ski lodge was opulent. Nestled among the mountains of Idaho, it was a haven for elite Moroi. The lodge itself was roughly the size of a small castle. It had the look of a mountain cabin with the amenities of a royal estate. It was one of the most expensive and most secure vacation destinations for wealthy Moroi in the world. With its own airstrip, Moroi never needed to leave the safety of wards to enter or leave the resort.

Andre found the rooms which were assigned to him and to his family. His parents and sisters were scheduled to arrive later in the day. His sisters were assigned next door, and their parents would be across the hall.

The family guardians were assigned to smaller rooms at the end of the hall with other guardians. It was a convenient arrangement, allowing separation of Moroi and guardians while keeping the units close.

Andre didn't bother with unpacking his bags. He took suits out of his bags, hanging them in the closet to avoid wrinkles, but the rest remained in his luggage at the bottom of the closet. He waited in his room for his family to arrive, keeping the door open.

David Smith, one of Andre's guardians, stayed with him as he unpacked. They were more than just an assigned pair, they were friends. Andre had been friends with David since they were ten. By the time they were thirteen, Andre had wanted David to become one of his guardians. After graduation the assignment had been secured, and David became one of Andre's two guardians.

Andre settled in one of the plush chairs and began flipping through channels on the television. David sat next to him, eyeing the closet. "Are you really not going to put anything else away?"

Andre shrugged. "I hung up the formal stuff. If it bothers you, you can do it."

"Not a chance," David snorted. "I put my stuff away and got my schedule already."

"You're too responsible sometimes."

"One of us needs to be responsible."

Andre stopped flipping the channels, glaring slightly. "I am responsible. I called Kat and Mia to let them know I was safe and to check on the kids."

"Fine." David snorted a laugh. "Fine. I bow to your streak of responsibility."

"You know, I can have you replaced."

"You'd hate having a new guardian."

"True. I guess I'll keep putting up with you and Vincent then." They both laughed.

About an hour later, Andre's parents arrived. They checked in on Andre, giving him a hug before promising to return after setting up their own room. Half an hour later, Lissa and Jill arrived. They shouted hellos, shoved their bags in their room, and reappeared at Andre's door.

Lissa and Jill hurried into his room, hugging him. After a few moments the girls took seats on the bed, grinning happily.

"Munchkin, you got taller," Andre told Jill.

She laughed. "I have to or you won't stop calling me munchkin."

Andre playfully tugged on Jill's hair. She batted at his hand, still grinning. "You'll never be taller than me, so you'll always be munchkin."

Lissa burst into giggles at the false glare Jill was giving Andre. David laughed too.

"Where are your other halves?" Andre asked.

"My boyfriend will be up soon. He wants to avoid his aunt," Jill said.

"Christian is going to be with his aunt and Ivan for a bit, and then we're planning to go ice skating."

"And your other, other half?" Andre asked Lissa.

She laughed. "Rose is coming sooner."

"Where is she rooming?"

"Three floors and half a building away from us," Lissa told her brother. "She said she'd come up as soon as she dropped off her bags. Mom and dad promised that we'll get our presents when everyone is settled."

"Well Rose, Liss, and I already got winter coats for presents," Jill said.

Andre laughed, settling onto the bed with his sisters. "Mom and Dad got coats for Mia and Kat too. They also bought too many things for the kids."

Jill sighed. "I wish they could have come. I want to see Kevin and Violet."

"Fly home for the weekend," Andre suggested. "You know everyone would love to have you two home for a few days."

The girls liked the idea, deciding that they would ask their parents about setting up a weekend trip home. They talked for a while before Rose appeared at the still open door

"I'm like a mile from you guys."

They all laughed. Rose entered the room, hugging David first.

"Missed you, heartbreaker. Still causing trouble at school?"

"You know it."

With a grin, he released her. Rose hugged Andre next.

"Hey beautiful."

"A girl could get used to these compliments."

"Nah, you love it," Andre said, releasing her.

"Yeah, I do," Rose agreed. She sat beside Lissa and Jill. "How are the kids?"

"They're good. Kat and Mia said to tell you hi," Andre replied. "Now that you're here, I think we can finally bother mom and dad about presents."

Agreeing, the five of them left Andre's room and knocked on Eric and Rhea's door. Rhea let them in and ushered them to a sitting room inside the suite. The suite was massive. All of the rooms in the hotel were large and luxurious, but Eric and Rhea had been given one of the best rooms in the hotel. Their suite was a small apartment, complete with its own sitting room, kitchenette, bathroom, and bedroom.

Andre, Lissa, Jill, Rose, and David settled on couches while Eric and Rhea brought out boxes for each of them to open. Each of the boxes were different sizes. They opened them at the same time, not waiting to see what everyone else got for Christmas. The boxes all held multiple gifts. The girls all got jewelry and makeup. There was also a variety of books, cds, video games, music players, and trinkets.

Somewhere in the middle of opening her presents, Rose thought back to the conversation she had with her mother the day before. Holding a necklace of diamonds and other jewels in her right hand, she brought her left hand up to the nazar bead which hung on a chain around her neck.

Rose understood her mother's problem a little better now. The Dragomirs treated Rose like another daughter, giving her presents that Janine Hathaway could never hope to afford. Empathy was not one of Rose's strengths, but she tried to put herself in her mother's position. Tried to imagine having a child she barely saw. A child who was doted on by another family. Rose thought that she would feel gratitude and jealousy.

Rose loved the Dragomirs. They had welcomed her into their family, just as they had welcomed David, Mia, and Katrina. Rose knew that they would welcome any friend of Andre, Lissa, or Jill with the same warmth and love. Rose knew that the Dragomirs treated David the same way now that he was Andre's official guardian as they had treated him when he was just Andre's friend. She knew that they would be the same to her when she became Lissa's guardian.

Most dhampirs and guardians weren't so lucky. Janine was friendly but formal with the Szelsky lord she guarded. Rose thought about Mason, Eddie, Meredith, Ivy, and the rest of their classmates. She knew that they didn't have anyone planning to claim them after graduation. Rose knew that her placement was guaranteed. Where would her friends go? What would happen to them if they wanted families?

Rose's thoughts wandered to Dimitri. He was very dedicated to Ivan and to being a guardian. He was willing to put aside everything, including relationships, to be a guardian. Was Rose that dedicated? Did she really want to be a guardian? Or did she just want to guard Lissa? Did she just want to spend time protecting her best friend? Protecting the person whose mind and heart she knew better than her own?

Rose's smile faltered, then she forced one back onto her face. No one noticed. Her friends were absorbed in their own gifts. Distracting herself from her thoughts, Rose suggested that they all go skiing later in the day. Most of her friends agreed. Andre wouldn't be able to ski, needing to attend a party with his parents.

* * *

Adrian Ivashkov didn't know who was hosting the party. He didn't want to be at the party, but at least there was free liquor. Liquor was able to take away the feeling that he was slowly losing his mind.

Adrian didn't understand his gifts. He didn't understand why he could see auras or walk in dreams. He had only vaguely told his aunt about his abilities, never anyone else. Anyone else would have called him insane.

He mingled with the crowds, talking to people close to his own age. He glanced at auras every so often, measuring the moods of the room.

Lauren Voda appeared as the evening progressed. "Enjoying the liquor?"

"Immensely," Adrian replied. "Did you meet Dragomir yet?"

"No." She motioned with her hand to the other side of the room. "He's been hiding."

Adrian looked where she pointed. He could see Andre Dragomir with some others across the room. Adrian looked at their auras and nearly dropped his drink. One of the men had a gold aura.

"Who is he with?"

She looked, eyes narrowing in concentration. "Ivan Zeklos and Natasha Ozera. I think the others are Zekloses."

"Want to meet them?" Adrian tried to hold back his anxiety. Gold auras matched his own. Could that stranger have answers?

"Sure."

Adrian and Lauren walked together across the room. As they neared, the group had grown visibly uncomfortable. One of the women was arguing with Lady Ozera.

"I can't believe that you would give our grandmother's ring to her." A woman with short brown hair was saying.

"It was my ring to give to my fiancée." The man with the gold aura told her. "Melina, Tasha will be your sister by marriage. I would rather you wouldn't make issues where there are none."

Melina drew a deep breath. "I wish you would make better choices for marriage, as do our parents." She looked around. "Excuse me, I don't want to make a scene." She left, winding her way through the crowd.

Tasha Ozera followed her fiancé's sister with cold eyes.

"Sorry for approaching at a bad time," Adrian said.

Ivan looked at Adrian, slipping into a tense smile. "No problem at all. My sister is unhappy about my engagement. I'm not concerned about her opinions." He held out a hand. "Ivan Zeklos."

Adrian accepted his hand and smiled at the shock on Ivan's face. "Adrian Ivashkov."

Ivan blinked in confusion a few times before releasing Adrian's hand and introducing his companions. "My fiancée, Tasha Ozera, my cousins Philip and Mikaela, and Andre Dragomir."

Adrian greeted them in turn and introduced Lauren Voda to the group. They chatted for a while, exchanging pleasantries. Adrian and Ivan frequently exchanged glances, both wanting to talk about the strange connection they shared.

Adrian eventually excused himself so that he could go outside to smoke. He stood on a wooden deck, shivering slightly in the winter air. A few minutes later, Ivan joined him.

"You are the first person like me who I've ever met," Adrian said, studying the other man's face.

"It must be startling. How did you know?"

"Your aura mostly. I've seen two or three others from a distance before. There's something else too. There's... I don't know, a hum around people like us."

"That's one way to describe it I suppose. You aren't the only other spirit user I've met."

"Spirit?"

Ivan laughed lightly. "You have strange abilities and never searched the archives to learn what it was called?"

"Given that I feel crazy for acknowledging my abilities, no. I try to be as normal as possible for Adrian Ivashkov."

"What all can you do?"

"See auras and walk in dreams. You?"

"Walk in dreams? What is that?"

"I can share dreams with another person, when they are asleep."

Ivan leaned against the wooden railing of the deck. "That's incredible. I've never heard of that before. I can see auras, use telekinesis, and heal people. I know a woman in Russia who can touch the mind of another person, reading their moods and getting an impression of their thoughts."

Adrian stared, slack-jawed at Ivan.

At that moment, two people came around the corner, laughing together. Adrian watched them, observing their auras. They were both dhampirs, male and female. The girl's aura was strange. Dark shadows clung to the colors of her aura.

"Ivan!" She called out, drawing near. "How was the party?"

Ivan laughed. "I escaped for the moment. I should return soon."

The girl stuck out her lower lip in a false pout. "So boring."

"What were you and your friend doing?" Ivan asked.

"Skiing. Liss and Christian were with us, but they bailed early."

"We were having fun beating your classmates," the young man said. "I think it made your ex jealous that you were spending so much time with me."

The girl's eyes widened as she looked at Ivan. "Oh, you haven't been introduced. Ivan Zeklos, this is David Smith, one of Andre Dragomir's guardians. We've known each other forever."

The young guardian shook Ivan's hand in greeting. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Lord Zeklos. I've heard about your work with Lissa. Everyone is grateful for all you have done."

"It has been a pleasure to mentor Lissa. Rose has been mentored by one of my guardians too."

Rose's expression darkened as she looked at Ivan. "Yeah, can we talk about that?"

Ivan arched an eyebrow. "What's up?"

"Later," she sighed.

"You're Rose?" Adrian asked.

"Yeah, Rose Hathaway. Um, sorry for butting into your conversation with Ivan."

"That's quite alright. I'm Adrian Ivashkov."

Adrian shook Rose's hand in greeting. David chuckled. "Careful heartbreaker, he's out of your league."

Rose shot David a dark look. Ivan's brows rose at the nickname.

"Heartbreaker?" Adrian asked with a laugh. He hadn't let go of Rose's hand.

Rose pulled away her hand, eyes narrowed. "Sometimes it's appropriate. How do you know Ivan?"

"We just met tonight," Adrian replied. He brought his cigarette to his lips, inhaled, then slowly blew out the smoke. "It seems that Ivan and I have a lot in common."

"Adrian and I were discussing elements. We should sit down tomorrow and discuss them in more detail."

Rose's eyes went wide as she looked between Ivan and Adrian. "You're a spirit user too?"

Adrian gave her a casual shrug. "That's what Ivan was telling me." He dropped his cigarette in an ashtray, smothering it in the sand. "Why don't we all go back inside? It's freezing out here."

Agreeing, they went inside. Tasha and Andre were walking toward them as they entered.

"There you are," Tasha said, looking at Ivan. "I was starting to wonder if you got lost."

Ivan wrapped an arm around his fiancée's waist as he replied. "Rose appeared."

"I wish I could have gone skiing with you two," Andre said, looking at Rose and David. "Although the company wasn't bad at the party."

"The drinks were pretty good too," Adrian added. "Think anyone would notice the four of us escaping?"

"I doubt it," Tasha said. "Besides which, I think Ivan's sister may have her face stuck in a permanent grimace if I stay in there much longer."

Andre laughed. "I have to go back. I'm certain my parents will notice that I'm missing. When are you on duty?"

Andre's question was directed at his guardian. David, who had taken off his coat and gloves, looked at his watch. "Three hours. I'm on for ten. After that, glorious, glorious sleep."

Andre and Rose laughed while the others grinned a little. "Catch you later then," Andre told David.

"I'm at your command." David gave a dramatic bow to Andre as he spoke. With a more formal expression, he turned to Ivan, Tasha, and Adrian. "It was a pleasure to meet you, my lords and my lady." They all said polite goodbyes to David before he left.

Ivan looked at Andre. "I want to arrange a small discussion tomorrow with your sister and Adrian here. While I do intend to tell your parents, I thought that you could mention it to them when you return to the party. Tasha and I will be retiring for the evening."

"Should I tell them why?"

"It seems that Adrian is also a spirit user."

Andre's eyes went wide. "Wow. That's incredible. I'll tell them. I think they'll be excited. They're all impressed with how much Lissa has told them about your training."

Rose snorted. "We sit around talking. It's the easiest training in the world."

Adrian looked at Rose again, studying her strange aura- vibrant colors muted by blackness. Why would a dhampir need to train with a Moroi spirit user? "You have spirit too?" His tone was playful, hiding his confusion.

Rose's face hardened into a mask. She feigned a small smile. "In a way, but we should probably discuss that tomorrow."

Adrian nodded. He knew when to back off, most of the time, and he could wait a day. "Tomorrow. Well, I think I'll go back for another drink before leaving the party."

Andre and Adrian said good night and returned to the party a few halls away.

Rose, Tasha, and Ivan were now alone beside the outer door. Rose looked at Ivan. "Ivan, can we talk?"

"Sure." He kissed Tasha's temple. "Meet me back at our room after I talk to Rose?"

With a grin, Tasha whispered in his ear. He laughed, kissing her gently. Pulling away, she looked at Rose. "I'll see you later."

"Thanks Tasha."

When they were alone, Ivan eyed Rose curiously. "What's on your mind?"

With a sigh, Rose led him toward an alcove with a few sofas. "Can you shut off Dimitri vision for a while?"

"I can. We're alone now. You know that he'll be able to read this from my memory later."

"Yeah, but I know he can't hear it now when I'm talking to you."

"And you want him not to hear you right now?"

Rose sighed, curling up on the couch. She laid her coat on an adjacent chair. "Do you know what has been going on between us lately?"

Ivan's eyebrows rose. "Something has been going on?"

Rose drew a deep breath, thinking for several moments before telling Ivan what was on her mind. "I told him that I love him two days ago. We talked a bit yesterday. It's complicated."

Ivan blinked slowly a few times, processing her words. "You told Dimitri that you love him?"

"You apparently told him that we should date," she shot back testily. "And I was drunk at the time. Don't comment on that. He said that he doesn't love me and that everything is too complicated for us to be together, but that he's interested in me."

Ivan was both stunned and puzzled. He and Rose spoke frequently, but never about serious matters. Dimitri having admitted anything to Rose about his feelings was an entirely different level of surprise. Ivan had thought that Dimitri would remain mute on the topic forever. "Why do you want to talk to me about it?"

"I don't know. Maybe because you're his best friend? He doesn't make sense. How can he be interested and still say no?"

Ivan was quiet. Rose played with the end of her scarf.

"Be patient with him. He may yet come around."

She groaned, leaning her head back. "I'm not patient."

"I know." Ivan chose to change the subject. "What's the story with Andre's guardian? Heartbreaker?" They had seemed very friendly with one another.

"There isn't one." Rose rolled her eyes. "I've known Dave since we were kids. He used to pull my hair and throw me into ponds. When I was about twelve, guys started finding me interesting. I loved the attention. He started teasing me and gave me that nickname. He's a great friend, other than him calling me 'heartbreaker' all the time."

"He's interested in you."

"No, we're just friends." The idea that David was interested in her seemed completely crazy.

Ivan chuckled, shaking his head. "Not from his perspective."

"What, do you read minds now?"

"I could see the way he moved around you and the way he watched you."

"If he's really interested in me, then why has he never said anything?"

"Some of us men are cowards when it comes to approaching a woman we find interesting, especially when she has been a friend for a while. Plus you will be guarding a brother and sister, which would make things messy if you got together and broke up."

"I'll never see him that way."

"Another good reason for him to never bring up his feelings."

"Why mention it? I thought you were trying to hook me up with your guardian?"

"I am, but I also wanted you to notice what Dimitri sees."

"What does he see?"

"That you are a beautiful young woman who enjoys flirting and has many men interested in you."

"I don't have _many_ men interested in me."

"Because you don't notice them. You only notice the ones you want."

"I can't have the one I want. I'm not pursuing anyone else. I'm not going to suddenly stop wanting Dimitri because he has hang ups about his feelings."

"I believe you."

Rose studied Ivan. She liked him. He had become a good friend over the past two months. She knew that he cared about Dimitri, which made her like him more. "Why are you interested in his relationships?"

Ivan looked away from her, and his gaze grew very distant. His reply was very slow and deliberate. "I saw him die. I know we've talked about it a little bit, but not in any detail. We were walking from a restaurant to the hotel where we were staying. It was a short walk. Brandon was behind me. Dimitri was in front of me. The Strigoi approached us from behind. They were so fast and quiet… more than I could have imagined. I had never faced Strigoi before that day. Dimitri had killed two before then, while guarding an estate where I attended a party. Brandon was thrown, nearly into a wall. He corrected himself and began to fight. There were three Strigoi. I froze in fear. Have you ever seen a Strigoi?"

"No."

"They're worse than you would think- human and inhuman at the same time. My guardians fought. Dimitri got the one, but two against three isn't easy. I couldn't keep up with everything they were doing. Dimitri lost his stake. Brandon was focused on the other one. The one Dimitri was fighting snapped his neck like it was the easiest thing in the world."

Rose flinched. Her stomach rolled. Ivan's voice had become very quiet as he spoke. Deep emotion colored every word.

"Brandon killed the one he was fighting as the Strigoi who killed Dimitri came toward me. Brandon killed it as it touched me. I still remember its eyes growing huge with shock as it fell into me and fell to the ground."

"That's horrible."

Ivan nodded. "I knelt next to Dimitri. Oksana had told me about bonds, and how they worked. So I saved Dimitri. I bound his life to mine. We became friends at seventeen, and he sacrificed himself for me at nineteen. He devotes his life to me, acting like I should always come first, but he died for me. If I can find ways for him to be happy, I will. His last girlfriend hated that he was so dedicated to being a guardian. She said that the bond was changing him too much. She said that killing was changing him too much. So she left him."

Rose blinked a few times. "That's not what Dimitri told me."

"No, he probably told you that she left him because she wanted children."

"That's exactly what he said."

"It's not a lie, but it isn't the whole truth."

"How do you know the reason?"

Ivan laughed. "Because she told me to my face that she hated what I was doing to him. She isn't fond of me."

Rose played with the tassels of her scarf, braiding them together. She wanted to know more about Dimitri. She was curious about his past, even his exes. "You know her pretty well?"

"Yes, we went to school with her, and she's Karolina Belikova's best friend."

"Karolina Belikova… Dimitri's sister? His ex-girlfriend is his sister's best friend?"

"Yes."

Stunned, Rose stared at Ivan. She accepted that Dimitri had ex-girlfriends. Rose had her own exes. Still, the thought that Dimitri's ex-girlfriend was close to his family unnerved her. Then she reminded herself that Dimitri was just her friend and mentor, no matter what feelings she had for him or he had for her.

"She isn't a threat to you."

Rose blinked at Ivan. "Huh?"

"Svetlana, she's not a threat to your interest in Dimitri. They don't work, and they both know it."

"Okay, but it's not like he is going after me anyway."

"Give him time. He's conflicted about you."

"Tell me something I don't know."

An absolutely devilish grin spread across Ivan's face.

"What?"

He stood, laughing. "You might hit me. I'm already risking Dimitri's wrath for that thought."

Now Rose stood. "You sent him a thought? What did you say? What did he hear?"

"I'm certain that he is now sifting through our whole conversation and considering how to hide my dead body."

"What did you tell him?" She put her hands on her hips, glaring at him.

Ivan took a step toward her, bringing his lips close to her ear. "I said that if I didn't have Tasha in my life, I would kiss you just to make him jealous enough to act."

"Ivan!" Rose took a step back. "You didn't!"

"I did. However, I do have Tasha, and I wouldn't do that to him." He watched as her face flushed. He started laughing. "You're adorable when you're embarrassed."

She threw her coat at him. It fell to the floor. "I can't believe you."

He picked up her coat, handing it to her. She took it, glaring. "You might thank me for it later."

Her mouth opened and closed several times before she could reply. Through gritted teeth she could only manage a short response. "Good night, Ivan." She turned, and hurried away.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting, you make me smile. Critiques are welcomed :)_


	10. Conversation

Dimitri Belikov entered the room that Ivan and the Dragomirs had acquired for lunch on their second day at the ski lodge. Ivan had been avoiding Dimitri, deliberately, all morning. Dimitri had told Ivan his thoughts on the conversation Ivan and Rose had the previous night with a two-word text message- "fuck you". Ivan had ignored the message and mentioned the lunch.

Rose was the first person to look at Dimitri as he entered. She smiled, then looked away quickly. A faint blush was creeping up her cheeks. Dimitri thought it was beautiful. She was beautiful. He pushed aside his thoughts about her. He needed to focus on the reason they were gathered, not on her.

Rhea and Eric Dragomir welcomed him, as did the others. Ivan, Tasha, Rose, Lissa, Christian, Jill, Andre, Evan, and Janine were also in the room. Everyone took seats on couches and chairs, drinking coffee and tea, eating sandwiches, waiting for Adrian Ivashkov to arrive.

Dimitri made his way to Ivan and Tasha. He looked at his friend, arching an eyebrow. Nearby, Rose made a muffled sound. Dimitri glanced her way, seeing the flush of her embarrassment. He looked back at Ivan, taking a seat beside his friend.

"Some days, you are the most infuriating person on the planet."

Ivan gave him a smile, not bothering to vocalize his response.

"Vanya, what did you do to Dimka?" Tasha asked.

Dimitri answered her. "He likes informing me of conversations that should be private. He also tries to insert himself into my personal affairs, and to talk about things that he shouldn't."

"That's what friends are for," said Ivan.

"Should I tell your fiancée what I'm unhappy about?"

"No, some of what I said was in poor taste." Ivan sent a few pleas through the bond for Dimitri to never repeat what he had said to Rose the night before.

Dimitri held his bond mate's gaze steadily for a few moments before nodding. "Only if you let the matter drop."

Ivan sighed, sipped his coffee, and agreed. "Fine. I will stop attempting to interfere in your personal matters."

"Good," Dimitri replied shortly.

When Adrian arrived a short time later, he greeted everyone with a smile. He greeted Eric and Rhea first, which was to be expected. After that, he was introduced to the rest of the room. His eyes kept landing on Rose and Dimitri. People changed seats, arranging so that Rose and Lissa sat beside one another, across from Ivan and Dimitri. The others sat or stood around the room, letting Adrian sit on a chair between the two shadow kissed pairs.

"You're paired?" Adrian asked. He was studying the two pairs with a scrutinizing look.

"It's called being shadow kissed," Rose said. "I'm bound to Lissa and Dimitri is bound to Ivan."

"Bound? Like in the old legends?" Adrian looked between them in confusion, a little startled.

Ivan answered for them. He kept his tone level and solemn. "You know how the old stories talk about pairs of Moroi or Moroi and dhampirs who knew each other's hearts and minds?"

Adrian nodded.

"One member of every pair was a spirit user. Healing has a surprising array of uses. We have a friend in Russia who told Dimitri and I about many aspects of spirit. She told us about spirit bonds. A spirit bond is formed when a person dies and a spirit user brings them back to life. It requires a tremendous amount of power and creates a permanent bond between the spirit user and the person they brought back to life."

The room fell silent. Everyone in the room, other than Adrian, had known what a spirit bond was, but hearing it put into words was humbling. Lissa squeezed Rose's hand. Dimitri looked at his own hands. Janine shivered slightly, wrapping her arms around herself.

"So, both of you died and were brought back to life."

Rose and Dimitri nodded in response to Adrian's statement.

"What does the bond do?"

"Drives us insane instead of our bond mates, apparently," Rose said drily.

There were a few sharp intakes of breath. Janine looked at her daughter. "Insane?"

It was Jill who answered. "Spirit users are all a bit… unstable. Every time they use their element, the instability increases. It's a darkness that slowly destroys their minds. Medication helps or healing or a bond."

"The spirit bond allows the darkness to be pulled from us into our bond mates," Ivan continued. "From there, we can heal the darkness from our bond mate."

"That's mainly what Ivan has been teaching me and Rose for the past two months. That and learning how to shut our minds to each other. Our bond mates can see into our minds, but we can't see into theirs."

"It's a bit… awkward, honestly," said Rose. "Learning to block out the bond helps keep our lives more private."

"Wait a second," Adrian interrupted. "You two can see into the minds of these two." He pointed first at Rose and Dimitri, then at Lissa and Ivan.

"Sometimes by accident, sometimes deliberately," said Dimitri. "Being bound requires a lot of trust and honesty with your partner. I know what Ivan thinks and feels. I can watch what he is doing, through his eyes. I can look through his memories. Rose can do the same with Lissa."

Adrian shuddered. "That sounds very… invasive."

"You get used to your life being seen by another person," Tasha said. Adrian's eyes widened. He looked between Ivan, Tasha, and Dimitri, taking in the implications of her words. A few others did the same thing after a moment.

Lissa spoke up before anyone asked an awkward question. "It's weird, but you do get used to it. I don't think bonds are the best for everyone, but when a loved one dies in front of you, it's impossible to resist. Healing is like that too or any other spirit power. The need to use it is very powerful."

"That's part of the reason why a bond mate helps," said Ivan. "It's far easier to control the need to use spirit when you know that it hurts your bond mate, your friend."

Adrian nodded, considering the overload of information on this one small aspect of spirit. Looking around, his eyes fell again on Jill. "How did you know so much about spirit?"

Jill looked at him for a moment, then squeezed Evan's hand. "My cousin is a spirit user. She used to teach at our school, but she went insane. She's in a hospital now. They refuse to allow her to have visitors because she's tried to turn Strigoi… more than once. She's fed blood by bags instead of by feeders."

Heavy silence fell again. Adrian swore under his breath. "Is there a way to bring back one of us who does go insane?"

Ivan, Lissa, Dimitri, and Rose exchanged looks. It was a question none of them had considered. Ivan glanced at Jill, then looked steadily at Dimitri. Dimitri nodded thoughtfully a few times but didn't speak. Everyone watched them. Rose laughed lightly at the sight.

"It's worth a try," Dimitri finally said. "I'll ask about it when we're done."

"Did I just watch a conversation?"

"Yep," Rose told Adrian.

"It can be annoying," Christian muttered. Rose stuck her tongue out at him. "You two do it all the time… Can you cheat on tests like that?"

"Christian!" Rose hissed. A few of the adults in the room looked at Rose questioningly. "I get my bad grades all on my own, thank you. Besides which, at this point I'm basically done with regular classes. We start field experience in February. The next month is a lot of preparation for field experience, and a few training drills."

Ivan laughed. "I'm certain that Rose is an honest student. Adrian, now that we've discussed spirit bonds at length, I'm certain that you have other questions?"

"You both said that you can heal, but I can't. Can you show me?"

Lissa shook her head slowly. She had stopped her medication, but the drugs were still in her system. Ivan looked at Dimitri.

Rhea spoke up, blanching a little. "Ivan, I would rather that you don't ask Guardian Belikov to be an example of your healing powers again."

"What did you have Dimka do?" Tasha asked.

"He asked me to cut myself to demonstrate his skills to Prince Eric and Lady Rhea."

"I wasn't going to suggest that this time," Ivan said. "I don't derive enjoyment from abusing you."

"Oh! I have an idea." Rose stood, looking at Christian. "You can control fire well enough to form a small flame, right."

"Are you crazy?" Christian stared at her. "I'm not going to burn you."

Rose rolled her eyes. "Make a flame like a candle and hold it. It will only hurt for a short time, and then Ivan can heal me."

"Rose?" Janine was regarding her daughter warily.

"It's fine mom. I was resurrected from the dead, what's a little burn?" Rose's flippant tone contained an edge of defiance.

Christian walked toward Rose. "Fine, but you asked for this." He held out his hand, forming a small flame on his palm.

Rose took a deep breath, bringing her hand forward. Christian's flame began to falter. She glared at him, and the flame steadied. She placed her hand in the fire. Rhea, Lissa, and Jill all gasped. Rose withdrew her hand a few moments later. She was clenching her jaw to hold back a scream.

Rose walked to Adrian, showing him the burn. He swore, shocked at her actions. Rose then turned to Ivan.

"Dauntless, little Rose."

Through gritted teeth, she managed a reply. "Please heal it, before I scream."

"At your command." Ivan cradled her hand in his, focusing his energy on her. A moment later, she smiled, pulling her hand away.

Rose walked back to Adrian, turning her hand in front of him like a stage magician showing that there was nowhere to hide a trick. "Pretty cool, huh?"

Adrian took her hand, turning it over a few times. "That is… I've never seen anything like that." He looked at Ivan. "Can you train me?"

Ivan nodded. "It would be my pleasure. I can also show you how to make charms and do telekinesis. You need to promise that you'll show me how to walk in dreams."

"Done," Adrian agreed.

Rose withdrew her hand. "You're going to live on campus with us?"

Adrian shrugged. "I have nothing better to do, and this is the first time in my life that I've had a chance to learn what my powers mean." Adrian looked at Ivan. "So, what else can you show me?"

* * *

Later in the day, Rose went ice skating with Jill, Evan, Meredith, Ivy, Derek, Eddie, and Mason. Other people were at the rink as well. Lissa was forced to attend one of the royal parties, which she forced Christian to attend with her.

Eddie was terrible at skating. Mason was a better skater than Eddie, but he was still not the best. The other novices were better skaters. Jill was the best skater in the rink. Between her ability to control water, and her talent for dancing, Jill could skate like a competitive skater. She performed small jumps and twists as she moved on the ice. The others cheered her on, encouraging her performance.

When they left, Mason walked with Rose. "How are you doing? We haven't talked since the other day…"

"I'm fine. I've had a lot on my mind. You didn't do anything wrong the other day, I just needed to clear my head of a lot that's been going on lately."

"Did you want to talk about any of it?"

"No. I want to forget about it."

"Oh."

"Oh!" Rose, seeing Mason's crestfallen expression, was horrified. She didn't want to hurt him. She still cared about him. "No, I didn't mean… ugh, I suck at this. You were fine. It's the other stuff that's been going on that I want to forget. Your note was very sweet."

He seemed cheered by her response. "Glad you liked it. I didn't realize things have been so stressful for you lately."

"You don't know the half of it. Forgetting most of it would be great."

"You could have another party with the novices," Ivy said. She was walking a few steps behind, arm in arm with Derek. "Parties are a great way to forget everything."

Rose laughed. "I think I need a break from that kind of party."

"No fun," Ivy pouted. "We're graduating in six months. After that we become boring and responsible guardians."

"Not all guardians are boring," Rose said.

"Like Andre Dragomir's guardian?" Mason's question came out like an accusation.

Rose narrowed her eyes as she looked at Mason. "Dave is an old friend. You've known him for just as long as the rest of us. He's a good guardian. He doesn't have molnija marks yet, but he graduated near the top of his year. He's a good guy, and he still has fun. Just because we graduate doesn't mean we can't have fun."

Whatever Mason was going to say, he stopped because Dimitri was walking toward them. They all greeted him. He looked at Rose. "Rose, can we talk?"

He seemed relaxed, but his face gave nothing away. Curious, Rose nodded. "Yeah, of course." She turned to her friends. "Um, I'll see you all later. Try not to have too much fun without me."

The others said their goodbyes as Rose and Dimitri walked. They walked down a gravel path away from the ski lodge. "What's up?"

"Ivan is going to be heading out later today on a trip. Tasha and Christian will be coming, and obviously Brandon and I will go as well. We should only be gone a couple days at most."

"Oh, what's going on?"

They walked a few more paces before he responded. "Ivan is going to attempt to heal Sonya Karp."

"That's…" Rose stopped, turning to look at him. "That's incredible. Is that what the two of you were talking about earlier?"

"Yes."

"If it works, that would be amazing."

"We need it to work," he said soberly. "We need to ensure that spirit madness can be healed from someone who is badly damaged."

"Need to? Are you afraid that Ivan or Lissa or one of us will go crazy?"

Dimitri ran a hand through his chin length brown hair. "No, not right now, but the possibility does exist. This is a good time to test whether or not we can heal the darkness from another person."

Rose chewed on her lower lip, nodding slowly. "Won't healing her cost Ivan a lot of his power? Won't that effect you?"

"It will, but we both think that this is worth the risk. We'll balance out in a few weeks, if everything goes as planned."

"So when you come back, both of you will be moody?" She smiled teasingly at him.

"Maybe," he chuckled.

"Jill would be so happy for Ms. Karp, Sonya, to be back. She talks to and sees her mom's family sometimes, but she was close to Sonya after her mom was killed."

"Jill is a very brave girl."

"She's been through a lot."

"How is she?"

Rose shrugged and continued walking down the path. "We haven't talked much recently. I know she worries about Evan. It can't be easy for her to watch him go through this after everything that happened to her."

"How are you doing?"

"With what?"

"With the murders, or your mother, or anything else you want to talk about."

"Well, I can almost sleep through the night without waking up with images of dead bodies showing up in my nightmares, so that's improving. My mom and I talked on Christmas and a bit today. We're okay; I guess. She is worried about me volunteering to be burned, and she told me a bit about my father."

"Oh?"

"Apparently she sends him updates about me, and he cares about me. I think she loves him, or loved him. She got this weird dreamy look when she talked about him." Rose grimaced, making a vaguely disgusted noise. "She said he does something dangerous, which I don't know if I believe, but whatever. Anyway, he supposedly doesn't want anyone to know that we're connected for safety reasons. I don't believe that, but my mom doesn't lie." She shrugged.

"Maybe it's true."

"Or maybe he's a royal with his own legitimate Moroi kids."

"Maybe." Dimitri sounded doubtful.

"It's not important. It's not like I'll ever meet the guy. I'm kinda glad that my mom seems to have loved him though, and that she sends him updates. Most of us don't even have that much."

"So things have improved between you and your mom?"

"Yeah, I guess. It's not a war anymore, but we're not exactly fixed either."

"That will take time."

"Maybe." She sighed, looking at him. "So, why didn't you tell me the truth about your ex-girlfriend?"

"I did, just not all of it. It wasn't Ivan's place to tell you anything."

"Yeah, but he did."

Dimitri brushed his hand against the wall of snow to their right. Snow tumbled in small clumps onto the walkway. "You haven't killed. One day you probably will kill as part of your guardian duties. It will change you. Nothing in your classes, nothing I tell you, will be able to prepare you for what it is like to take a life. Physically and intellectually, you will know everything, but emotionally it will change you. It will change something in your soul."

Silence grew between them as they walked. He drew a deep breath, letting it out through his mouth. White steam formed in the frigid air. "Svetlana knew me before I killed the first time. She saw me change afterward. She saw me change even more after I became shadow kissed. We tried to make it work, but she couldn't handle the ways my job was changing me. She also wanted to have children. It was easier for her to say she was leaving because she wanted children than it was for her to tell me that she didn't like who I was becoming."

Rose remained silent for a long time. They walked along the path in the chilly nighttime air. The world was silent, except for the occasional sounds from the ski lodge. "Is that another reason why you don't want to date me? Are you afraid that I won't like who you are after a few more years of you being a guardian?" Her voice was gentle and seeking.

"I don't know."

"Are you afraid that I'll change too much after killing?"

He stopped walking. She turned, looking up at him. He reached out to her, brushing a few hairs away from her cold reddened cheeks. "No, but I do know that you won't be the same. I don't want to see the light die in your eyes. I can see how much you are affected by death. The shadow of the Badica house hangs over you. It's still so obvious to me. But I can handle those changes in a person I care about. I can wish that you would never see so much pain, but I know that I can't protect you from it."

"And she, your ex-girlfriend, couldn't handle that in you?"

Dimitri's hand still rested on her cheek. He stroked her cheek slowly with his thumb. He shook his head. "No, she couldn't. She wasn't made to be a warrior. You aren't much like her, Roza."

Rose was staring up at him, heart racing. She wished that he wasn't so tall, because then she could kiss him. She couldn't reach his lips from their foot height difference unless she jumped into his arms. She considered the thought briefly.

"I thought we were trying to just be friends?" Her words were a little breathless.

He closed his eyes, pulling away. "We are, though your conversation with Ivan last night didn't help."

She laughed nervously. "Well, I didn't exactly expect him to be so awkward. Did he really think about kissing me?"

"No, he sent the thought that he stated to you. He doesn't see you as anything more than my potential girlfriend."

Rose groaned. "He's trouble."

"He is very well meaning, but very nosy. He'll let it go for now."

"Good."

The continued walking. After a few yards, Rose spoke again. "What do you mean that I'm not much like her?"

He considered the question carefully before responding. "You are prone to acting first and thinking second. Sveta is very deliberate in her actions. You are interested in physical activities, and she is interested in intellectual pursuits. She works as a translator and interpreter."

"That sounds super boring. And aren't those the same thing?"

Dimitri chuckled. "No. Translation is the process of transcribing words from one language to another. Interpreting is listening to a person speaking one language and conveying the same meaning to listeners in another language. Neither are easy, but interpreting requires an ability to think in multiple languages at the same time."

"She sounds super smart."

"She is."

Rose kicked at a clump of snow with her booted foot. "I'm not that smart."

"Roza." She looked up at the affectionate note in his voice. "You are smart in other ways. Everyone has their own talents and gifts."

Rose nodded pensively. She looked up at him, chewing her lip briefly. "You know the other guys don't mean anything, right? I mean, I care about Dave and Mason, but they're just friends. Well, Mason and I have a past, but we're just friends now."

"I believe you," Dimitri replied quietly.

"Sorry. Friends. We shouldn't have this conversation." She let out a frustrated growl. "This sucks."

"I know."

She stopped, turning toward him. Her eyes sparkled with mischief. He arched an eyebrow, regarding her warily.

"Kiss me."

"Rose…"

"We're standing alone on a deserted path in the dead of winter. It's not like this is my bedroom. Plus I'm wearing a winter coat and a sweater."

He laughed. "You are trouble." He enunciated every word clearly and carefully.

She grinned wickedly. "It's part of the charm." She took a step forward, placing her hands on his waist.

He pulled her hands away, kissing the tops of her fingers before letting her hands go. "You don't know how difficult it is to tell you no." He sighed, turning toward the lodge. "Come on, and don't tell Jill about the plan. We don't want to raise her hope, in case we can't heal Sonya."

"I won't."

He glanced down at her. Her shoulders slumped in disappointment. On impulse, he reached for her hand, squeezing it. She squeezed back, looking up at him with a small smile. They held hands until they were in sight of the lodge.

* * *

Rose spent the rest of the day playing board and card games in a common room with classmates. She wasn't able to take her mind away from the fact that Dimitri had held her hand. The memory made her feel warm and happy. Maybe Ivan was right, Dimitri would come around eventually.

Rose woke early the next day to a surge of terror pulling her into Lissa's mind. Lissa, Jill, and Andre sat with Eric and Rhea as their guardians stood around the room. Four guardians, Frank Linden, Daniel Bellamy, David Smith, and Vincent Addison, served the Dragomir family. Frank was telling them about another attack. A Drozdov family had been hosting a party, and everyone had been slaughtered.

Andre paled. "That's the family Mia's parents worked for. Have they been told?"

"Not yet," Vincent replied. "Should I call them?"

Andre shook his head. "No, I'll call Mia shortly."

"Do they think it was the same Strigoi who slaughtered the Badicas?"

The guardians exchanged looks before answering Eric. "Yes, Prince Dragomir," said Daniel.

Eric stood, drawing a deep breath. "Keep me informed on any information that comes in. I need to speak with Princess Voda."

"Of course, sir," Frank replied.

Rose listened through Lissa's mind for a few more minutes before returning to her own mind and body. Rose was shaking, remembering the horror of the Badica house. No one had thought that these Strigoi would do it again. Strigoi seldom attacked in large groups, let alone twice in a week.

"What's wrong?"

Rose looked at Meredith, who had just walked out of the bathroom. "I, um, there was another massacre. Drozdovs this time."

Meredith sat on her own bed. "When? How did you find out?"

Rose fumbled for a moment, raising her cellphone. "Lissa told me. Her family was just told by their guardians. I'm sure they'll tell us all later."

"Was it the same way as the Badica attack?"

"Yeah, it sounds like it. I'll see what I can find out from the guardians I know, but it sounded like the attack was the same- multiple Strigoi and wards broken by humans."

"What's going to happen now?"

Rose shook her head. "I don't know, nothing good."

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting, you make me smile. Critiques are welcomed :)_

 _I might skip next week so that I don't catch up too quickly to my buffer of chapters. Some parts of AU-ing Frostbite were a huge pain (literally the most difficult part of the entire story outline for me), which caused the writing to be slow. I also have two other stories I need to update, one in this fandom and the other in a different fandom, so I want to spend some time on them too._


	11. Ideas

Eric Dragomir spent most of the day talking to Priscilla Voda and other high ranking royals. They were on the phone with Queen Tatiana Ivashkov and the heads of the Guardian Council several times. They also spoke directly with the guardians who processed the scene of the Drozdov massacre. When the entire ordeal was over, they called a meeting of the hotel's guests in the largest room available.

Rhea found him at the front of the room. She kissed Eric's cheek before sitting beside him. Andre, Lissa, and Jill took seats with them. Tasha and Ivan sat nearby with the Zekloses. The other royals gathered in clusters by family. Many of the Drozdovs and Badicas showed obvious signs of grief.

When the room was full, Nathan Ivashkov stood at the podium to moderate the discussion. He informed the room about the basic details of the attack. Then the debates began. A man from the Lazar clan believed that centralized Moroi compounds were the best form of protection. His idea didn't gain traction.

Monica Szelsky spoke up with another idea. She favored lowering the guardian age in order to get more guardians. "Why are we waiting until they turn eighteen? If we accelerated the training program and focused more on combat training than bookwork, we could turn out new guardians when they're sixteen. Not only that, we have plenty of potential guardians going to waste. Where are all the dhampir women? Our races are intertwined. The Moroi are doing their part to help the dhampirs survive. Why aren't these women doing theirs? Why aren't they here?"

Tasha started laughing. Everyone looked at her. She stood, looking at Nathan Ivashkov with a small smile. He was glaring at her. "May I?"

Nathan drew a deep breath and nodded. She walked to the podium. Eric noticed that she was dressed casually while the rest of the royals, including Ivan, were dressed formally. "Those women aren't here, Monica, because they're too busy raising their children- you know, the ones you want to start sending out to the fronts as soon as they can walk. And please don't insult us all by acting like the Moroi do a huge favor to the dhampirs by helping them reproduce. Maybe it's different in your family, but for the rest of us, sex is fun. The Moroi doing it with dhampirs aren't really making that big of a sacrifice."

Eric noticed that Andre was shaking, fists and jaw clenched. Eric thought of Tasha's comment a few days earlier. He had tried over and over again to forget what she had said, but it was impossible. What was Violet's place in this world? Would she be her older brother's guardian, or would she have her own path?

Tasha kept talking. She was harsh in her words, but it was necessary. Sending out children would do nothing more than create fodder. Forcing the unwilling to fight would also just lead to more deaths, to more destruction. So Tasha suggested what she had said in certain circles for years- the Moroi should fight back. She believed in proactive fighting. She believed that Moroi and dhampirs should fight side by side as they had once before.

Passions were rising in the room. Eric stood before the wrong person said or did something unwise. Tasha looked at him, drew a deep breath, and nodded. "Prince Dragomir?"

The room hushed. Eric spoke loudly enough that he didn't need a microphone. "Lady Ozera, you raised many interesting points. I am certain that we can discuss them at length in a different forum. These are hardly matters that will be resolved tonight."

Her eyes narrowed. Eric wondered what she was thinking. A bitter smile flickered across her face. "Will they be resolved before this pack of Strigoi attacks again? I heard about the message that was written in blood at the site of the first attack. They mentioned how small the Badica clan is. _'One royal family nearly gone. Others to follow._ ' That's what the message said. There was a similar message at the Drozdov attack."

People reacted with loud murmurs to the statement. The guardians and royal leaders hadn't released that information to the general population. Tasha didn't say anything for several moments. Her eyes moved from Eric to Rhea to Andre to Lissa to Jill. There were only five Dragomirs counted in the bloodline. Everyone knew it. Everyone knew how precious the lives of the Dragomirs were.

"What if your family is next on their list, Prince Dragomir?"

Many people gasped. Tasha was being blunt, not cruel. Eric knew that she cared about Lissa. He knew that she didn't want the Dragomirs to be destroyed.

Eric replied in a calm, measured tone. "My family will remain within the sanctuary of wards until this crisis abates. Strongholds, such as this lodge, court, and our academies, are the most secure places for our people. I will work directly with our councils to ensure that this crisis ends quickly without the loss of more Moroi and guardians. All suggestions, including the measures you discussed, can be brought to the attention of the council. I would prefer that no more of our people suffer or die at the hands of these monsters."

Tasha bowed her head respectfully to Eric. "As you say, Prince Dragomir." Her eyes sparkled with mischief a moment later, and she raised her hand. Flame sparked in her hand, steady and controlled. "Do consider that fire is one of the best ways to kill a Strigoi. I'm not the only Moroi ready to fight back."

"Noted," Eric replied. She nodded again, returning to her seat beside Ivan. Many people stared after her while the rest watched Eric with curiosity. "I believe that unless anyone has anything productive to bring to the floor, that this is a good time for us to conclude today's discussions."

Nathan agreed, closing the formal discussion. The informal discussions began moments later. Tasha soon had a crowd around her. Some royals gathered around her, so did many students from the school. Many people were tired with the same routine. They were tired of hiding, waiting until the Strigoi attacked.

Lissa and Jill quickly left the room. Andre, reigning in his emotions, remained to listen to Tasha. Other people asked Eric his views and opinions. Rhea stood by his side. When the crowds died down, Tasha approached Eric and Rhea. They took a few steps away from everyone.

"I do hope that you'll forgive me for mentioning the danger to your family so publicly."

Eric shrugged. "In the game of politics, there are few pleasant truths. My family is small and the threat to my family is very real. I won't pretend that I am oblivious to the danger. Nor will I pretend that your views aren't valuable. Our people are desperately in need of change."

"And your granddaughter is threatened by Monica Szelsky's plan."

"What she said was vile," Rhea spat. "Throwing children at Strigoi. Forcing people who are unwilling into battle so that we can selfishly hide and do nothing." Rhea dabbed at her tears with a handkerchief. "I have thought a lot about what you said the other day. I want my granddaughter to have the future she chooses, not one forced upon her by our society."

Eric's eyebrows rose as he looked at his wife. He hadn't expected her to say that, but he couldn't say that he was surprised. "I agree. The time has come for change, but change is not easy and it does take time."

"We may not have much time if this band of Strigoi attacks again," Ivan said. He stood beside Tasha. "I'm glad that the hospital facility where Sonya Karp is located is far from here."

"Are you still going?" Eric asked.

"Yes," Ivan replied. "We will be leaving tomorrow. We had to reschedule our flight."

Tasha smiled lightly at him. "We'll soon have a team of spirit users working together."

Ivan took her hand and squeezed. "Hopefully." Ivan looked at Eric and Rhea. "We won't be gone for long. Afterward, I think we would both be interested in talking with you about politics."

Eric gave them a dry smile. "Noted."

* * *

After the meeting, Andre Dragomir calmed down by calling Katrina. He irrationally wanted to know that his daughter was still safe, even though Andre had talked to Kat earlier in the day. Andre needed to know that his daughter would never be sent out to face Strigoi. Every instinct he had as a parent, often criticized as lacking, told him that his children should be kept safe.

The idea of sending dhampirs out to be guardians at sixteen was horrifying. Andre knew that he and his classmates, dhampirs included, had not been smart enough or responsible enough to care for the life of another person at that age. Had that old witch ever seen a sixteen year old? Would she want one standing in front of her if there was a Strigoi attack? Andre didn't think so.

There was a reason that new guardians were almost always paired off with older, more seasoned guardians. The older guardians helped guide newly minted guardians. After a few years, the guardians would typically be shifted around to allow the younger guardians to mentor the next batch of even younger guardians. Guardians who weren't part of a guardian pair were often killed within their first few years of guardian duty.

Andre shuddered after he got off the phone with Kat. He hadn't thought about his daughter's future until he was sitting in the meeting. He would give her any future she wanted. He would protect her with his life if needed, though practically speaking Katrina was the fighter, not Andre.

Andre took a few deep breaths before he got ready to attend the spa party in the lodge's deep levels. A bunch of young royals had rented out the space for the night and Andre, as the Dragomir heir, was always invited to every party. He enjoyed the party scene, but never felt completely relaxed among his peers. He had felt like a king among them once, in high school, before Mia. Getting your freshman girlfriend pregnant when you were a senior was definitely a social stumbling block. Mia had also been lower class, which had made the scandal all the more delightful for the gossips. Now that there was a second child, a dhampir child, the jibes would only get worse.

Andre still went to the parties. He still needed to make himself known. He still needed to network among the royals. It did feel strange to have a party the same day as a massacre. Sure, it was a way to take your mind off of everything, but people had just been brutally murdered.

He didn't need to worry too much about the callousness of his peers. For all the people at the party who seemed to have no cares in the world, there were many who were discussing politics and the future of their people. Some were talking about Tasha Ozera's speech. Some were interested in fighting back. Some were appalled by the idea of Moroi fighting.

Andre made his way through the various social groups in the spa. Like everything else in the resort, it was opulent. Racks of towels lined one wall. Tables filled with food and dessert stood along another wall. Doors led to a feeder room and to a massage area. The center of the room was filled with several different pools which appeared to be carved into the rock floor.

Andre eventually settled in a pool, waiting to see who would try to get his attention. To his surprise, Lauren Voda joined him. They had only spoken briefly two days earlier when they were introduced. She was pretty, with long brown hair and dark grey eyes. Unlike the rest of the girls at the party, Lauren wore a one piece bathing suit. It was a metallic rainbow design, more sporty than elegant or sexy.

She gave him a small smile. "You look like you're hiding."

"I sorta am," he admitted. "Too many people wanting to know my thoughts on what my father did in the meeting. What does my father think? Is it true that my father will force my sister to stop dating the son of the Strigoi traitors?" Andre rolled his eyes.

A waitress arrived with a tray of drinks; they both took a glass. Adrian Ivashkov joined them, taking a drink of his own. He settled into the pool with Andre and Lauren.

"Your parents seem to like Tasha Ozera," Adrian said. "Your father seemed very controlled when he spoke to her in the meeting."

"My parents are very good at diplomacy. And yeah, they're fine with Tasha. I think."

"It can't be easy to be part of such a small family," Lauren observed. "I can disappear from court for years and no one will notice. You and your family practically live your lives in front of everyone."

"Hey, don't I count?" Adrian teased.

She laughed. "You like being the center of attention at court parties. Other than your parents and great aunt being important, you don't hang out in political circles."

Andre considered her carefully. He tried to remember if he had ever seen her at court. Even though he knew that she was Priscilla Voda's granddaughter, and she sounded American, Andre was certain that he had never seen her at court. "You don't spend much time at court, do you?"

She shook her head. "I live in Europe. I lived in the U.S. until I was sixteen and then moved to England. I visit my grandmother a few times a year, but I tend to stay off the radar."

"Do you like Europe?" Andre asked.

"I like any place my parents aren't." She tried to speak casually, but the edge in her voice was evident. "I do like what I've seen. The Moroi who remain in Europe and Asia have a unique perspective on the world. Their communities are different from the North American Moroi communities I've seen. Did you know that there are people who live in triads?"

"Triads?" Both guys asked.

She laughed. Leaning forward, she lowered her voice conspiratorially. "A three-way relationship of sorts, in order to have dhampir and Moroi children. I've seen them in America and Canada too."

Adrian stared at her for a while, trying to figure out how a three-person relationship worked. "How do they…? How does that work?"

"Typically there is a male Moroi with two wives, or girlfriends, or whatever he wants to call them. One woman is a Moroi and one is a dhampir. They live as a family unit and raise the kids together. Sometimes a Moroi woman will have two guys, but that's less common. Not that triads are common."

"That sounds very… complicated," Adrian said.

"It's not for everyone. I can imagine that jealousy is an issue, but it's certainly a more pleasant solution to the guardian shortage than child soldiers or forced conscription of the unwilling. Make triads and defend your own families. I was tempted to mention it in the meeting as a solution to the problem."

Adrian and Andre both laughed.

"I can only imagine the reactions that suggestion would have gotten," Andre said. "You should have done it."

"I couldn't, not with my grandmother in attendance. She's trying to show me off to the single guys on this trip, so I have to make good impressions on everyone."

Andre was surprised. He had thought that she might be dating Adrian, since Adrian had introduced her. "Oh, did your grandmother have anyone specific in mind? Or are you just supposed to find someone and be respectable?" Annoyance tinged his last words. His parents had told him to 'be respectable' more times than he could count.

Adrian held his glass to his lips to hide his grin.

Lauren took a sip of her drink and smiled wickedly at Andre. "Oh, she has a goals for me. Whether or not her ambitions will do anything is yet to be determined."

Andre took a few moments to realize what she was talking about. "Priscilla Voda wants you to date me?"

Lauren snorted in a very undignified way. "No, she wants me to marry you. So does Queen Tatiana. It helps with their desire to get their hooks into your family."

Andre laughed. "What's your opinion on the matter?"

"Politics are a horribly boring necessity."

"That… wasn't an answer."

She sipped her drink. "It is and it isn't. I think that the queen will continue to push eligible young women your way that she believes will be good matches. I'm speaking with you on my own terms, not because my grandmother and the queen want me to be the mother of little Dragomirs."

"I think the last thing I need right now is to think about legitimate heirs." Andre drained the rest of his drink, shaking his head. "I have two kids under age two with two different mothers, and my daughter is only three months old. I'm not exactly anyone's ideal match."

Lauren shrugged. "I think they chose me because I'm not opposed to raising dhampirs. What did you think of Monica Szelsky's suggestions? I assume that you don't want your daughter to be thrown into involuntary guardian duty when she's sixteen?"

Though he hid is his clenched hands under the water, but nothing could disguise Andre's tension when he replied. "No. I thought what she said was disgusting."

Lauren seemed pleased with his response. She turned to Adrian. "What about you?"

"I don't really care about politics." Seeing the very negative expressions of Andre and Lauren, Adrian quickly amended his statement. "Look, I don't want kids sent out to fight either, but you know how our people are. The politicians will talk and talk and nothing will get done, as usual. Everyone will get angry and offended. Everyone will say angry and offensive things, but when the time comes to make real changes, no one will act. So I'll stay out of the debate."

"Maybe that's the problem," Lauren said soberly. "Too many of our people stay out of the debate. Too many of our people do nothing. We talk. We run. And we royals hide away inside fortresses, hoping that we won't be harmed. Meanwhile non-royals and dhampirs are constantly living in fear for their own lives. If these massacres had happened outside of royal residences to non-royals or dhampirs, there would be no debates or discussions, there would be nothing at all said or done. The truth is that few among our royal class care about anyone beside ourselves."

She stood. Water from the hot pool swirled as she moved and fell from her body in small rivulets. Adrian and Andre both did their best not to obviously observe the way her swimsuit clung to curves of her body.

She twisted her hair, wringing out the water. "I'll let you two relax, sorry for dragging politics into such a lovely evening."

She left them, and they both followed her with their eyes. Adrian was startled by her confrontational manner. Andre was intrigued.

* * *

Evan Badica did his best to avoid everyone. The ski lodge had grown unbearable after news of the second massacre broke. Evan had escaped to the ski slopes for the entire day, reappearing for the meeting. His mood worsened after the meeting, so he escaped to his room. Jill had wanted to be with him, but he told her that he needed to be alone. He saw the pain in her eyes, but she didn't protest.

He didn't want to be around anyone. He was too angry, too frustrated to be around anyone. He needed to do something. He needed to fight back. His parents were dead, and the monsters who killed them were still out there. He had to do something.

Evan spent the rest of the night mindlessly killing other players in an online game. He logged off the game when his roommate appeared. It was only then that Evan could feel the dryness of his eyes and the sheer exhaustion of his body. He fell asleep quickly, giving in to the needs of his body.

The next day, Evan decided that he should be social. He still didn't want to be social. He still wanted to do more than sit around in luxury. Doing nothing reminded him over and over that his parents were dead.

He found Jill with her friend Alice in one of the lounges where there were board and card games. Many of their schoolmates were in the room, gathered at different tables, noisily playing different games. Jill and Alice were standing, watching a group of freshmen play charades. Their noise was very likely disturbing the few pairs across the room playing chess.

Evan stood next to Jill, greeting her with a small smile and a kiss on her cheek. She soon wrapped an arm around his waist and nestled against him. Jill's warmth and presence were soothing. They watched the games for a while, laughing at the charades and the guesses. When the game ended, Jill looked up at him.

"What do you want to do today?"

"No idea. Did you have any plans?"

"Nope. My family is going to be caught up in events all day. Even Lissa can't escape this time."

"Why aren't you with them?"

"Too young, thankfully. Lissa wanted out of them too, but no luck. Dad and Mom said that seventeen is old enough to attend these events. I think she's just upset that she can't drag Christian with her."

Evan and Jill found a couch and settled on it. "Do you know where they went?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Family trip I guess, now that Ivan and Tasha are engaged. Liss said they'll be back in a couple days. Did you want to spend time with some of your friends today?"

He made a face. "No, not really. Too many people offering sympathy. I can't stand it. I want to do something."

"Want to find Rose and her friends? They're pretty good about treating us normally."

"Sure, why not."

Finding Rose wasn't as easy as they thought it would be. Between questionable cell phone service and an unending variety of things to do, she could have been anywhere. After searching for half an hour, they found her in the gym.

It was a very nice gym. Rows of brand new exercise machines were in one section, free weights and punching bags were in other sections. There was also a snack bar in one corner of the gym.

Rose was fighting a punching bag with a bit too much enthusiasm. They watched her for a few minutes. She had an incredible amount of strength and stamina.

She stopped, noticing them in the reflection of the mirrored walls. She looked at them, a genuine smile for Jill fading into a half forced one for Evan.

"Hey, what's up?"

Jill shrugged. "We were wondering if you had any ideas for something to do. Who knew that a resort could get boring so fast?'

Rose picked up her water bottle and took a drink. She set it down before responding. "I'm supposed to meet up with Mason and Eddie soon. No idea what we're going to do, but the two of you can come if you want- up to my room."

"You're hanging out with Mason in your room?" Jill asked. She was a bit startled by Rose's statement. She knew that Rose and Mason were hanging out again, but wondered if more was going on again too.

"Not like that," Rose insisted. The last thing she wanted was people thinking that she and Mason were more than friends again. "Come on."

They made their way from the gym to Rose's room. Mason and Eddie were already inside with Meredith. They were watching a movie on the large wall mounted television. Rose, Jill, and Evan joined them, sitting on the floor in front of the television.

"Any idea what to do today?" Meredith asked.

A few suggestions were raised, but no one felt like skiing or skating again. They had also played most of the interesting games in the lounges.

Evan picked at the carpeting, annoyed. "I hate sitting here, doing nothing. Are the guardians doing anything to find the Strigoi who murdered my parents?"

They all looked around uncomfortably. Mason realized that Rose wasn't meeting anyone's eyes. Her fists had clenched. "Rose, what's going on?"

Rose looked at him. He could see that she was holding something back. "They tracked a license plate to Spokane and have evidence that there were Strigoi around some mall there, but no one is doing anything."

"What do you mean? How did you find that out?" asked Eddie.

Rose stood, pacing, struggling to control her emotions. "David told me. He's pretty upset about it too. Two massacres a week apart and no one is acting on the first lead we've had. The Council hasn't authorized action yet. It's stupid."

"Why don't we do something?" Mason stood. "We'll be guardians in six months, but we're ready now."

"The three of us usually score at the top of the class," Eddie said. He indicated Rose and Mason as the other two. "We could take on a few Strigoi."

"A few?" Meredith looked at him incredulously. "Do you know how many guardians were killed in the massacres? We're just novices. Sure, we'll be guardians in six months, but that doesn't mean we can take on a pack of Strigoi any more than the dead guardians could."

Rose remembered Ivan telling her about Dimitri's death. Two against three hadn't been enough. Even though Dimitri was alive now, he had been killed by Strigoi. "I don't know. I want to fight back, but we don't really have enough to work from. We don't have solid plans. We don't have a way there or back. We also don't know anything about the mall where Strigoi were spotted."

"What if we can learn more?" asked Jill. There was a coolness to her which was out of character. The others suddenly remembered Jill and Evan.

Rose looked at Jill in horror. "You are not going to chase Strigoi."

Jill stood, body vibrating with emotion. "What's the point of training me to fight then? I can fight and I can fight well. _You_ trained me."

"I trained you so that you don't feel defenseless."

Jill stepped closer to Rose, the others took a few steps away. Angry tears formed in her eyes, and her voice rose as she spoke. "Because my parents were murdered. Because Strigoi killed them, just like they murdered Evan's parents. You were there! You saw their bodies. Do you want these monsters, the same ones who murdered his parents, to get away with it?"

"You were there?" Evan's voice was quiet. He looked at Rose, stunned.

Rose looked at him and then looked down. "Yeah. I… Dimitri and I were the ones to discover the first massacre."

"And you don't want to fight back? You think the monsters who murdered my family should keep killing more of us?"

"No! But we don't even know where to start looking. Plus, what sort of guardians bring Moroi into the path of danger?" Rose looked from Evan and Jill to Eddie, Mason, and Meredith.

A cup of soda was on a nearby table. Jill looked at it. She quickly formed the soda into an ice spike, slamming it into the wall. Plaster fell from the hole made by her spike. Soda soon began dripping from the melting ice. "We aren't defenseless! I want to go. We can ask a few more questions from Dave. He'll talk."

"My uncle will probably know something too," Meredith offered.

"So… are we going to do this?" Eddie asked. "Find out more and go investigate Spokane on our own?"

Mason grinned. "It's only a couple hours' drive. We could be there and back in no time."

"Fine," Rose took a deep breath. "If we can find out where to go in Spokane, how do we get there?"

Meredith raised a hand awkwardly. "I'll get a car." She laughed a little at their disbelief. "I got a bottle of rum into our dorm. You really think I can't convince my uncle to give me use of a car for the day? I'm the only niece he has, and he has no kids of his own. He loves my cousins, but he spoils me."

"Okay, so meet back here in two hours?" Eddie suggested.

They all voiced their agreement.

"Two hours and we should have enough for a plan to kill some Strigoi," Mason said. "How hard can it be?"

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting, you make me smile. Critiques are welcomed :)_

 _I went through about 50 different scenarios in my head for how to AU Frostbite when it came to Spokane... which is why I had a lot of delay writing it._


	12. Progress

Ivan Zeklos suppressed a shudder as he entered the locked hospital ward. The facility was a small Moroi hospital in Texas. It housed normal medical facilities for Moroi and dhampirs, as well as a secure ward for mentally unstable members of their community.

Spirit vibrated in the ward. Ivan realized that more than one spirit user was locked inside, which made his skin crawl. If healing Sonya didn't work, if his own darkness went out of control, he could find himself in a locked cell one day like these spirit users.

"It won't happen."

Ivan jumped, startled by Dimitri's voice. "What won't?"

Dimitri spoke quietly so that they wouldn't be overheard. "You won't go insane. You won't be locked away."

'Thanks for the reassurance,' Ivan sent through the bond.

Dimitri gave him a small, half-smile in response. They followed behind a doctor, who led them to a steel door with keypad access. It was one of several locked rooms in the ward. Everything was too white, too bright, too sterile.

"It looks like a prison cell," Ivan said.

"It is, in a sense," the doctor replied. "Miss Karp is one of the most violent patients we have ever seen. She also has an incredibly strong command of compulsion, which makes her quite dangerous. I have no idea who you talked to in order to get access to her, but I hope you know what you're doing."

Ivan gave the doctor a broad smile. "So do I."

The doctor typed a code on the keypad. The door unlocked, and the doctor opened it. Ivan stood at the doorway for a long moment, looking inside. A television hung in one corner of the room, playing game shows at low volume. Sonya was strapped to a bed. Her head hung to one side, as though she was asleep. Her curly red hair was loose and hid her face.

Sonya turned her head, eyes snapping open and locking onto Ivan. "Spirit." Her voice was raspy from disuse.

"Shut the door," Ivan ordered. He heard the door click shut a moment later. "Sonya Karp, I'm Ivan Zeklos. I'm a friend of Jill Mastrano-Dragomir, your cousin."

Wild-eyed, she stared. Her head tilted to the side as she studied him. "Jill… I'm sorry Jill… I tried. I can't… I can't." Her eyes narrowed in focus, gaining a sudden determination. "Help me." Her voice drew Ivan a few unwitting steps closer.

He blinked, throwing off the compulsion. He could see the madness rise again and anger. Drawing a shuddering breath, Ivan took a few determined steps closer. He clasped her hand with one of his, forcing her to hold the healing charm he had made. She flailed and thrashed. She tried to throw away the charm. She tried to claw at his hand. Ivan poured healing power into her and into the charm.

"Work," he muttered through gritted teeth. "Please, please work."

Her fingers tightened on the charm. She stopped thrashing. She began sobbing.

"Stop," she whispered. A little louder, she repeated herself. "Stop. You did it."

Ivan released her hand, ending the healing. She kept holding the healing charm. Ivan grasped the rail of the bed for support. He was drained. He met her eyes. Sonya regarded him with watery, though completely sane, blue eyes.

"It worked?"

She nodded. "The healing worked. I'm sane. Will you be okay?"

"Yes, but no more healing for me until my bond mate and I balance out the energy."

"That's a good plan." She shuddered, flexing her arms and legs which were held to the bed by restraints. She swallowed down her panic. "I want out of this bed."

"That can be arranged." Ivan walked back to the door. "Open the door, she's healed."

The doctor entered a few moments later. The next hours consisted of a series of tests to ensure that Sonya was indeed sane again. She was allowed to feed from a feeder. When she didn't murder the feeder, she was considered probably sane again. Ivan and Dimitri also spent time convincing the doctors and attendants that Sonya was indeed healed, though they claimed the means were classified.

Four hours after being healed, Sonya Karp walked out of the hospital facility with Ivan and Dimitri. She blinked up at the sun. She was rubbing her wrists. They had given her a sweater and jeans which fit poorly. Sonya didn't mind the clothes, she was free from the prison of the hospital and of her mind.

Sonya leaned against the car. "How did you find me? You mentioned Jill."

"It's a long story," Ivan replied, "but the short version is that I learned about Lissa Dragomir and have been tutoring her in spirit. Jill talked about you, and I wanted to try healing you."

"You used so much spirit to heal me. You're endangering yourself."

"Not really, there are ways to balance out the darkness and backlash of spirit. If you want, come back to St. Vladimir's with us. We just found another spirit user; the four of us can train together."

She gave Ivan a crooked smile. "I accept." She looked back at the hospital. "There are other spirit users locked in there."

Ivan looked as well, grimacing. "We need to keep ourselves sane before we can help them. One day we'll come back for them."

Sonya nodded sadly. "Is it really almost New Year's Day?"

"Yes."

"I've missed so much time." She rubbed her face with her hands. "I was aware of time passing. When I was lucid, I knew that I had been locked away for a long time. The rest of the time I was lost in my mind. I kept wanting to be free. I kept thinking that turning Strigoi was a way to escape." She shuddered, looking from Ivan to the hospital. "One day, we need to free them too."

Ivan, Dimitri, and Sonya got in the car. They drove to the hotel where Tasha, Brandon, and Christian were waiting. After getting acquainted, Tasha insisted that they needed to buy Sonya some new clothes. They spent the next few hours shopping, eating, and becoming better acquainted. Sonya, though still out of sorts from her newly clear mental state, spent most of her time getting to know Ivan and learning about Jill's current state of being.

They returned to the hotel late in the afternoon. It was still very early in the Moroi day, but their sleep schedules had been disrupted to heal Sonya. Ivan was planning to call Eric Dragomir in a few hours to inform him of their success, but Eric called him first with startling news.

* * *

Lissa Dragomir wore a floor length silk gown to Priscilla Voda's banquet. It was dark blue fading to white at the hem. The dress was an elegant and expensive creation that her parents had bought for her to wear to royal gatherings. Her mother wore a similar gown of blue and green. Her father and brother wore dark grey suits.

They sat together at dinner. Lissa wished that Christian or Jill or Rose could have been with her. She loved her family, but they were all in politics mode, which was not Lissa's preference. Lissa had learned to accept her place in royal society. She knew that politics and banquets were an inescapable part of her life, but she preferred the company of a few close friends over the expansive company of banquets.

After eating, they mingled. Lissa walked with Andre. He introduced her to many royals who were in their twenties. Their parents walked the room separately, talking to various important persons. Andre skillfully avoided political conversations. He also avoided personal inquiries with practiced skill.

Lissa enjoyed meeting the royals who were only a few years older. She was interested in learning about their lives and their interests. She understood the importance of networking. As Lissa got older, she would need a strong network of connections to help support her family's political position. Lissa, Andre, and Jill would all need to form strong connections among the royals so that they could influence laws to the favor of their family's wishes.

Priscilla Voda approached Lissa and Andre after a while. Her granddaughter, Lauren, walked with her. "Andre Dragomir, it is good to see you again. And Lissa, you have grown so much since the last time I saw you. How long has it been- three years? You look so much like your mother."

"Thank you, Princess Voda," Lissa said.

"I would like both of you to meet Lauren, my granddaughter."

Lauren shook both of their hands in greeting. "I've already met Andre, grandmother. It is nice to meet you, Lissa."

"Nice to meet you," Lissa echoed.

Priscilla smiled at them. "Well, I think that I should continue checking on the guests. Lauren, why don't you spend time getting to know Andre and Vasilisa?"

Priscilla glided away, the purple fabric of her gown swirling behind her. Lauren hid her laughter behind a hand for a few moments. Andre didn't disguise his laugh.

"My nana, no subtlety with me," Lauren laughed.

"You really weren't joking about her wanting to set us up."

"Set you up?" Lissa looked from her brother to Lauren. How could Andre consider another relationship when his daughter from the last relationship was just a few months old?

"Relax Liss, Lauren and I are just acquaintances. I have no intention of dating right now."

"Besides which, it isn't as much fun to date someone just because politics favor the match," Lauren added. She glanced to the side, smiling at Adrian's approach. "There's the life of the party."

"Not tonight," Adrian admitted. He looked at Lissa and Andre before glancing across the room to where Eric and Rhea stood. "The Dragomirs are quite the centers of attention tonight."

"Are we?" asked Andre.

"You should hear the intensity of the conversations your parents are engaging in. It seems that your family is becoming more progressive by the day."

"What makes you say that?" Andre asked.

"Oh, our parents were disagreeing about Moroi wanting to fight. My father doesn't know or care about how non-royals defend themselves. His concern is that guardians aren't taken away from royals. Your parents suggested that Moroi can be trained to defend themselves without the guardian numbers decreasing further."

"I agree with that," said Lissa. "Moroi can be trained at the academies, just like dhampirs. We have faster reflexes and better sight than dhampirs, plus we have our elements."

Adrian tilted his head to the side, studying Lissa. "You sound like you know something about that."

Lissa smiled charmingly. "Maybe I do."

Adrian drank from his glass of champagne, laughing lightly. "Where's your little dhampir or boyfriend or half-sister?"

Lissa looked at him curiously. "This isn't Rose's sort of party; she's probably with Jill. Mom and dad decided that my sister is too young for this party. Christian is on a day trip with Tasha and Ivan."

"Pity they couldn't be here," Adrian said. "Lord Zeklos and Lady Ozera are quite the entertaining pair. I think he was invited to the party."

"He was," Lauren replied. "He's too important not to invite. Their match is a nightmare for people who want to keep the higher Zekloses happy, since so many dislike Tasha Ozera."

"There's nothing wrong with Tasha, and she's connected to my family too," Lissa protested. "I'm with Christian."

"And there are some who would like to change that," Adrian replied. "You're just as politically desirable to the higher up royals as Andre here."

Lissa groaned. "I'm not concerned with what some snobs in another family want me to do with my life."

Lauren and Adrian burst into laughter. Lauren grinned at Lissa. "I've always liked people who hold that view of life."

"And yet, you aren't opposed to arranged relationships?" Andre asked.

Lauren studied Andre for a moment before replying. "I appreciate the importance of the current political climate. I also trust my grandmother's guidance. If she believes that you are a good match for me, I am willing to trust her discernment. At the same time, I'm not rushing into anything."

Andre sipped his drink, considering her words. "Not rushing is something I can agree with."

"Really?" The sarcastic word left Lissa's lips before she had time to think.

Andre glared a little at her. Adrian and Lauren politely covered their smiles with their glasses of champagne and wine.

"Yes Liss, I have two children to focus on and school."

"What do you go to school for?" Lauren asked.

"Finance and accounting," Andre replied. "I plan to help expand my family's investments and resources. Are you in college?"

Lauren shook her head. "I had no interest in more schooling. I design jewelry. You wouldn't believe the prices people are willing to pay for something considered 'high fashion'. So long as I'm doing something productive, grandmother doesn't pry into my concerns. I earn enough that I don't have to touch my savings. Adrian, are you in college?"

He shrugged. "I was, but I took off last semester. I'll be off in the spring as well. I'm going for art, so it's not like I need to go." Adrian looked supremely uncomfortable for a moment. "The two of you are making me look bad."

Andre snorted. "I barely passed half my classes and had more fights than I can count about my kids. At least being part time next semester should help those problems." Andre looked at Lissa. "Have you decided what you're doing when you graduate?"

"No idea. Mom and dad were asking about it the other day, and they asked Christian. Neither of us have any idea what we want to do after graduation. I do want to go to college."

"You haven't even picked out a school, have you?" Andre asked his sister.

"No. Mom wants me closer to home. I think dad does too. I'll start looking into them soon. Maybe I'll major in literature, at least it's interesting. Christian wants to go to cooking school or to just be trained as a fighter."

"A fighter?" asked Lauren.

"Yeah, Christian wants to fight against the Strigoi like his aunt."

"Does Lady Ozera actually fight Strigoi?" Adrian asked.

Lissa shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't asked. I know that she has a job training people in self-defense."

"I wish she was here," Lauren said. "She sounds like an utter rebel."

Andre grinned at her. "Sounds like your kind of royal."

Lauren laughed. "You learn fast."

"I try," Andre replied.

"Your entire family seems far less mainstream than I ever heard," Adrian commented.

Andre and Lissa exchanged a look, wondering how to respond. Politics were politics, even amongst friends and peers. They had to stay united.

Lauren spoke up before either Dragomir could respond. "I thought you didn't care about politics?"

"I don't. I'm just surprised by how different their family is from all the stories I've heard."

"I don't know," Andre replied with a grin, "if you've heard a rumor about me, it's probably true."

They all laughed, and the tension which had begun to build diminished.

Lissa studied Lauren for a few moments. "Why does Princess Voda want you to be with my brother?"

Lauren drank her wine slowly, delaying an answer. "Politics." She took a few more sips, hoping that someone would speak up so that she could avoid a further response. No such luck. "You know how it's rumored that Queen Tatiana wants to retire?"

Lissa and Andre nodded in agreement. Adrian sipped his champagne, giving away none of his thoughts on the matter.

"When she retires, whomever she backs will likely gain the throne if they pass the trials." Lauren looked from Andre and Lissa to where their parents stood across the room. "Your father is her ideal. He's well liked, and he has more progressive ideologies."

Adrian whistled, then laughed. "Your grandmother wants you married off to the future Dragomir Prince."

Lauren nodded slowly, looking directly at Andre. "They think that marrying you to a woman from a high ranking royal family will improve your family's image. They think that it would secure your father on the throne."

"Do my parents know that?" Andre asked.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I'm certain that your father knows of Tatiana's desire to retire, and that he is the one she wants to name as her heir. I'm also certain that she has told your parents that your image matters."

"What do your parents think about it," asked Lissa.

Anger flashed in Lauren's eyes, though she quickly reigned in her emotions. Her voice was tight when she replied. "My parents are not part of my life. They haven't been for a long time, and they are not allowed within five hundred yards of me. I'd rather not talk about it."

"I'm sorry," Lissa said.

"You didn't know. It's amazing to me how some scandals can be tightly concealed while others everyone knows about. My father is one of my grandmother's four children, and he hasn't been at court for five years. No one asks about him, and those closest to my family will never mention him. It's much like your uncle." Lauren directed the last statement toward Adrian.

"Yes, the uncle we say is off on family business in Europe, even though no one knows what he's doing or where he is."

"The advantages of a large family," Andre joked. "The scandals are easier to hide."

"Just try not to cause another one," Lissa commented with a small smile.

Adrian and Lauren laughed, which Andre did join after briefly glaring at his sister. They all talked for some time, getting to know one another. Though it was never brought up, Lissa was still excited that Adrian was a spirit user like Ivan and herself. Lissa was almost able to touch spirit again, which meant that in a matter of weeks she could really begin to train with spirit.

Lissa also watched the way Andre and Lauren Voda talked. They were very casual about the fact that there were people wanting to arrange a marriage between them. They were also very cordial and friendly. Lissa decided that she liked Lauren. There was a controlled bluntness to Lauren. She seemed to know who she was and what she wanted in life, which Lissa admired.

When Lissa returned to her room, she was a bit surprised that Jill wasn't there. She shrugged it off, thinking that Jill was probably in Evan's room or maybe with Rose. Tired from the party, Lissa fell asleep.

She was awakened hours later by a rapid knock on the door and the sound of her mother's frantic voice calling her name. Lissa glanced at the clock on her bedside table. It was five in the afternoon, very early in the Moroi day. It was dark outside, which was to be expected on a day in late December.

Standing, Lissa realized that Jill's bed had never been touched. She rushed to the door, letting her mother inside. "What's wrong?"

Rhea's face was pale and drawn. Her eyes darted around the room. "Jill really isn't here."

"Mom, what happened?"

Rhea wrapped her arms around Lissa, holding her tight. "We just received a call that Jill, Rose, and some of their friends are in Spokane."

"Spokane? Why?"

Trembling, Rhea pulled back from Lissa. She still held her daughter's arms. "There was evidence that some of the Strigoi from the massacres were in Spokane. Somehow, they got out of the ski lodge and made their way to Spokane so that they could hunt Strigoi."

Fear spiked through Lissa. "What happened to them? Are they okay?"

Rhea shook her head. "No, they aren't."

* * *

Meredith Crane chose to stay behind. She could have gone with Rose, Mason, Eddie, Jill, and Evan to Spokane. Meredith had told her uncle that she was going with Eddie and Mason to stores in a nearby town for a few hours, and that they would return before sunset. Given that she, Mason, and Eddie were all eighteen, her uncle had allowed her to borrow the car. After getting the keys, Meredith had given them to Mason, and returned to her room.

Meredith stayed in the room she shared with Rose and waited. She waited there because she was supposed to be outside of the wards. Waiting was torture. She knew something would go wrong. If something did go wrong, they would all be in serious trouble.

She nearly cracked several times. She could run to any number of people and tell them she had screwed up. She could tell them that Rose, Mason, Eddie, Jill, and Evan were out there in a borrowed car, hunting Strigoi.

She agreed with them wanting to fight back. She wanted to fight back too. She hated waiting helplessly behind wards. She believed that fighting back was a good idea. However, Meredith also liked rules. Sure, she broke silly ones like not having liquor on campus, but never serious rules. She wasn't a rebel like Rose. Yet this time, Meredith had broken the rules for her friends. She hoped that it didn't backfire.

While waiting, she watched television, played on the internet, and slept. She waited for the phone to ring. Rose, Jill, and Evan all had cell phones they could use to call if anything went wrong. They called when they arrived in Spokane and would call again when they were going to leave. It felt like forever between phone calls. Night had fallen again without a call that they were heading back. Meredith nearly jumped out of her skin when the room's phone finally rang.

"Hello?"

"Mere, it's Rose. We need help."

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting, you make me smile. Critiques are welcomed :)_

 _Next week you will find out what happened in Spokane!_

 _I thought through several different groupings going to Spokane. Jill, Evan, Mason, and Eddie were the four always going to Spokane, the rest were in flux until I finally figured out what all I wanted from this part of the story. Some possibilities to go were Lissa, Christian, or David. Those three were possible if Rose was going separately from the other four._


	13. Revenge

The drive to Spokane, Washington from the ski lodge in Idaho was a little over four hours. Before leaving, Rose Hathaway, Mason Ashford, Eddie Castile, Jill Dragomir, and Evan Badica had gathered information and supplies. They had a name and address for the mall in Spokane where Strigoi activity was suspected. They had a car, and they had stakes. They also had a bag of snacks.

Mason was the first driver on the way to Spokane. Eddie sat in the passenger seat. Rose, Jill, and Evan sat in the back. Getting out of the resort had been shockingly easy. They didn't even have to stop at the gate.

They left the resort at seven in the morning. The plan was to get there and back when the sun was still up. However, getting to Spokane took longer than expected. They got lost a few times. Jill and Evan both fell asleep along the way. After four hours of driving, Mason pulled into the first gas station he found.

After refueling and stretching, Rose demanded that she drive. With little debate, they switched drivers. Eddie moved to the back seat, and Mason became the navigator. They finally arrived in Spokane half an hour later. Rose was proud of the accomplishment until she spent the next hour trying to find a mall. The mall they found was not the one they were looking for, but they stopped anyway.

Rose rested her head on the steering wheel. She avoided hitting her head repeatedly against it. Everyone was awake again. Everyone was tired of sitting in the car. "We've done nothing, and we have to start back soon or we're all screwed."

Mason unbuckled his seatbelt. "Why don't we get food, and then find the correct mall. We can still check it out right?"

"I don't care anymore," Jill complained. "I just want out of this stupid car."

"Agreed," Eddie and Evan echoed.

With that settled, all five of them exited the car. They stretched, groaning after hours inside the car. They went inside the mall and bought food in the food court. They ate their food in silence.

Rose picked pepperoni off her pizza, eating the slices of meat one by one. She was annoyed and worried. If they stayed out too late, the sun would set when they were outside of wards. She didn't want Jill and Evan outside of wards after dark. She also knew that if they were caught reentering the resort, they were in serious trouble. "Okay, so what do we do now?"

"Find the correct mall and look around," Eddie said. "We made it here, finally, we might as well do something useful."

Jill licked ketchup off a fry. "Where's the map again? Maybe I can find the mall."

Mason pulled a map out of his backpack and handed it to Jill. "Good luck."

Jill ate the fry, wiped her hands on her jeans, and took the map. She pushed away some of the trays and spread out the map. She found their current location, marked it with a pen, and then scanned the map for the other mall. She hushed Evan and Eddie when they tried to help. After ten minutes, Jill found the mall.

"It's on the other side of town," Jill told them. She circled it on the map. "See. If we take the highway across town, it shouldn't be too long to get there."

Rose took the map, studying it. "Yeah, it doesn't look too difficult. We need to be on our way back soon. It will start to get dark around four, and we aren't sure we'll be able to make it back inside the resort as it is."

"I was raised outside of wards you know. My parents didn't have guardians either," Jill said. "We'll be fine. We just need to be careful."

Everyone looked at Jill, not knowing what to say. Evan squeezed her hand. Mason and Eddie looked uncomfortable.

Rose drew a deep breath. "Yes, but we don't want to get your other parents upset."

Jill gave her a dark look. Her voice held a hard edge when she replied. "They won't do anything."

Rose stood, folding the map. "I certainly hope not, because I still want to graduate and guard your sister. I'll never see you if I'm off guarding someone else or expelled."

Jill smiled a little. "I don't want that."

"Neither do I." Rose picked up her tray, clearing the table of her empty plate and the empty plates of Jill and Mason. "Be right back."

They left the mall a short time later, ready to head across the city. Eddie drove with Rose as the navigator. They made it to the next mall after two in the afternoon.

They walked the perimeter of the mall first. There was nothing particularly interesting to see around the mall. After the first interior sweep, they found the tunnel entrances that supposedly had evidence of Strigoi activity.

"So, should we go in?" Eddie asked no one in particular.

"It's why we came here," said Mason. He opened the door to the tunnels. Poking his head inside, he looked around. "Come on."

They walked into the passageway which ran behind the stores. The passages were bigger than they had anticipated. Large rolling bins for trash lined some of the walls. Doors led into the backs of several stores. Harsh fluorescent light lit the tunnels, casting odd shadows through the passage.

They walked quietly, the music from the stores muffling the sound of their steps. At the end of one hall was a stairway. They walked down the stairs single file. Mason led the group, followed by Eddie, Evan, Jill, and Rose.

The lower level was unimpressive. Metal shelves lined the walls, filled with various maintenance and cleaning supplies. The hallway smelled of chemicals and mold.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Jill whispered into the silence of the hall.

"Yes," Rose said. "This is where David said there was Strigoi activity reported."

"Maybe they moved on," said Eddie.

Frowning, Rose moved past her friends. She knew that there had to be something to see. She knew that there had to be something they were missing.

Evan pointed at a wall, confused. "What's that?"

They crowded around the wall, looking at a line of letters. There were symbols next to some of the letters. They all studied the strange list for a long time.

D, B, C, O, T, D, V, L, D, Z, S, I

There was something strange about the letters which tugged at Rose's mind, even as the guys started to walk further into the tunnel. Jill also stared at the letters, puzzling over them. Rose stiffened as something clicked in place.

"What?" Jill hissed.

Rose shook her head a few times before answering. "We found them. Look at the letters." Rose pointed to the first 'D'. "They're the royal families in order of size- Dragomir, Badica, Conta, Ozera, Tarus, Dashkov, Voda, Lazar, Drozdov, Zeklos, Szelsky, and Ivashkov. The two with an 'X' beside them were the two attacked."

Jill gasped, staring at the letters. Suddenly this idea for revenge seemed like a bad idea. Her parents had been killed by Strigoi. Yes, her parents had not had guardians or wards for protection. Her parents had also lacked any self-defense training. Jill knew how to fight, and she had three almost guardians with her. Even so, this list was a message from the Strigoi who had been responsible for two massacres in the past week.

"This is a message," Jill finally said. "Is this 0a way for the Strigoi to pass information to one another?"

Rose nodded, licking her lips. Her mouth felt strangely dry. "I… yeah, it has to be." Rose looked at Mason, who had stopped a few steps away. He had realized that they weren't following. "We should go."

"Go? Why would we go?"

Rose forced herself to sound confident and commanding. "Because if this is a message board for Strigoi, the same ones who could break the wards on two houses and take out over a dozen guardians, we're screwed."

Mason looked around, motioning with his hands that there was no one around. "No one saw us. We're alone now."

"How do you know that there are no Strigoi spies here?" Rose shot back. "We know humans are working with them. This is a message for Strigoi. Who knows when they come here to swap information?"

Eddie walked back to them. "Aren't Strigoi supposed to be disorganized."

"You really still believe that?" Rose scoffed. "They managed two organized attacks on two warded homes in the last two weeks. Maybe we're being lied to."

"We should go." Jill was echoing Rose's earlier statement. "It's almost dark outside, and we still have the four-hour drive back."

Eddie agreed. "You're right. I want to fight, but I don't want us throwing ourselves into something we can't handle. We learned something today, and we can tell people who will do something with it."

"Who?" questioned Mason.

"Ivan," Rose said confidently. "He has enough connections to do something. Plus, I think Tasha is more than willing to fight."

Agreeing, the five walked out of the tunnels and emerged into the mall. After a stop at the restrooms and buying food to go, they made their way outside. It was a little after four in the afternoon, and the sun was beginning to set.

* * *

Callen stood outside the mall in Spokane- watching, waiting. He drew deeply from a cigarette, blowing the smoke out into the late December air. Five teenagers walked out of the mall together- two female and three male. Callen had been trained to observe people. He knew that there were four basic species of humanoids on Earth. Two of the teens were a species called Moroi. Moroi were generally tall, slender, and pale. They could blend into the human population, but the trained observer could see them. The other three appeared to be athletically built humans, from what Callen had observed when they were inside the mall. Callen assumed that they were the species called dhampirs- human/Moroi hybrids.

Callen dropped his cigarette to the ground, crushing it with his shoe. He pulled out his cellphone and called his boss. The voice that answered was soft and smooth. Callen would have been afraid of Isaiah if it wasn't for Sofia. Isaiah was scary, as much as any other Strigoi. Sofia was terrifying, and it was Sofia to whom Callen had sworn his allegiance. For the moment, Callen was on loan as a spy. Isaiah would never cross Sofia, which gave Callen a certain amount of freedom in how he talked to the hundred-year-old Strigoi.

"Those teens I mentioned earlier are leaving."

"Are you following them?"

"No."

"No?"

"Look, you want to go eat them, it's on you. I can give you the plate number and description of the car. It's an Idaho plate, so they're probably going to be on their way south." East was also a possible direction, not that Callen cared. His job was to pass on information about Moroi and dhampirs in Spokane. One day he would be made immortal for his loyal service. Working for the police gave him an advantage over other servants that made him feel safe from Isaiah or Sofia's wrath.

"You dare speak to me so insolently?"

"You're not going to kill me. I'm Sofia's source here, and you know that she hates retraining humans."

Isaiah didn't respond.

"So, do you want what I know or not?"

Isaiah did want to know the information, so Callen passed it on. Hanging up, Callen put away his phone and pulled out another cigarette. Maybe the teens would be lucky. There was a chance that Isaiah wouldn't find them. They had a fighting chance between the head start and Isaiah not knowing their exact direction. Their soon to be flat tire would be a delay, but they had a chance.

It didn't matter to Callen. Once he would have cared. He would have tried to keep them safe. That was a long time ago. After fifteen years on the police force, Callen had encountered enough mortal monsters that the immortal ones seemed to make more sense. Strigoi killed because it was their nature, just like mountain lions, wolves, and bears. Humans seemed to kill for pleasure, and that wasn't something Callen could understand. Being an immortal monster just seemed more rational.

In five years, Callen would become a Strigoi. There were many humans who served Strigoi, but most were killed quickly. Sofia was different. She used humans to create networks of spies, informants, and resources. After a set time, if her servant worked as directed, she would Awaken them. Callen knew that this was true because he had met several of the people who she had Awakened, changing them from mortal to immortal.

Isaiah was one of her oldest associates. He had been a Moroi. His closest associate was Elena, who had been a human. She had become a Strigoi three years ago. Greg and Dahlia were associates of Sofia who had been human. They were servants who had fulfilled their contracts. They had been Strigoi for ten and five years respectively. The other associate Callen had met was a relatively new Strigoi named Natalie. She was a Moroi who had Awakened herself, and she was often the runner for messages directly to Sofia.

* * *

The sun was down when the tire went flat. Rose, in the front passenger's seat, had felt the car's strange vibration for a long time before they stopped. Reluctantly, Mason pulled into an empty parking lot to see what was wrong.

Rose got out of the car alone. It was the best way to protect the greatest number. She circled the car, seeing the flat tire. She walked to Mason's door and talked to him through the lowered window.

"Flat tire. We all need to get out to change it."

Mason looked around the deserted area with grim resignation. Swearing, he agreed. "Time to get out."

When everyone got out of the car, Rose took charge. "Mason and Eddie, you two change the tire. I'll stay on guard. Jill, Evan, you both need to stay alert and close to the car."

They did as Rose instructed. She paced around the car, scanning the area. Jill and Evan stood beside the car, backs toward it. Eddie and Mason worked together to replace the car's tire. Rose was nervous. The sun had set, and they still had hours of driving before they were back at the ski lodge. Being outside of the wards during the daytime was relatively safe, but at night the danger was enormous.

The guys were beginning to put the spare on the car when a van pulled into the parking lot. Rose moved closer to Jill and Evan, wary but not alarmed. As the van drew closer, Rose felt a wave of nausea roll through her. Her hand went to her stake.

"Danger," Rose warned. "Strigoi." Dimitri had told her that she would feel nauseous when one was nearby. She didn't want it to be true, but she knew without a doubt that there were Strigoi in the van.

Eddie and Mason moved away from the tire, hands on their own stakes. They moved in front of Jill and Evan. The van stopped a few feet away.

"Are you sure," Eddie asked.

"I can sense them," Rose said. "I'll explain later."

They stood frozen, waiting. The back door of the van slid open, and a man stepped out. He was tall, with chalk white skin. A woman exited after him, just as pale. Rose knew that their eyes would have red rings around them, though she couldn't see their eyes in the dim streetlight.

"Well, well, well," the man taunted. His voice was eerily silky. "It looks like the five of you are lost." He sniffed the air. "Three dhampirs and two Moroi. You look very young to be out here on your own."

They said nothing. Rose, Mason, and Eddie tightened their hands around their stakes. Jill raised her hands slightly, ready to use her magic. Evan froze in place, shocked by the sight of the two Strigoi.

"Are you so ready to fight us?" The male Strigoi chuckled. "We'll see how well you dance."

He ran forward. The woman ran with him. He was faster than her and had an air of strength that she didn't possess. Rose and Mason moved to meet them. Eddie stood with Jill and Evan to protect them.

"Can you build a barrier," Eddie asked Jill.

"Yeah."

Pushing down her fear, Jill formed a barrier of ice out of the snow which lay on the ground nearby. When done, it was chest high and a foot thick. Jill and Evan stood on one side of it, while Eddie stood on the other. It would only slow the Strigoi if Rose, Mason, and Eddie failed. A few moments to run would be all that Jill and Evan had if their friends failed.

Rose met the male Strigoi's attack. He was fast, faster than Rose anticipated. He struck her left arm, hard. She winced but fought through. Her right hand was her stake hand, so she was still able to fight. She swung her stake at him, scraping it against his arm. He screamed in pain but struck back quickly. He struck Rose across her face.

At the same time, Mason and the female Strigoi reached one another. She was slower than the male. Her movements were fast but unrefined. Mason used that to his advantage. The woman was stronger than any opponent Mason had ever faced, but she had clearly never been trained as a fighter. He dodged her hands, trying to land a hit on her with his stake. A scratch of the stake against her forearm caused her to scream and jump backward in pain.

Eddie jumped into the fight with Rose as the Strigoi struck her face. Eddie jabbed his stake into the Strigoi's back. The Strigoi rounded on Eddie, giving Rose a few moments to wipe away the blood on her face and get back into the fight.

Mason pressed his advantage against the female Strigoi. She was still startled by the wound on her arm. They exchanged several more blows before she finally gave him an opening. Mason shoved his stake into her chest. Her eyes went wide, then empty. Pulling out his stake, Mason watched as she fell to the ground, dead.

The male Strigoi moved fast. He was able to shift his attention between Rose and Eddie almost faster than they could block and dodge. He landed nearly as many hits on them as they managed on him. A loud noise distracted the Strigoi, allowing Eddie to stab the monster in the back. Rose used that to her advantage and slammed her stake into the Strigoi's heart. She felt the stake push through muscle and flesh, scraping along his ribs.

Rose and Eddie stepped away panting, looking around for threats. They saw Mason by the female Strigoi's body. He was looking to where Jill and Evan were. Rose and Eddie looked as well, realizing that they had forgotten the first rule of being a guardian- protect your Moroi. They had also forgotten that someone had been driving the van.

Jill had only built her ice wall on the side where the Strigoi approached. The car was to their right, blocking that side. Jill held Evan's hand, watching fearfully as Rose, Mason, and Eddie fought the two Strigoi. Jill was afraid that they would be defeated. If their friends failed, she and Evan would die. She didn't want to die.

Jill was so caught up in watching the fight that she didn't notice the human man who had gotten out of the front of the van. He circled around their car. Evan turned toward the sound of the human's footsteps first. He froze, squeezing Jill's hand painfully hard. She turned as well. The human was holding a gun toward them.

"It looks like your little guards aren't watching you. I've heard about your kind. I've heard about how your use mine for food." He laughed harshly, waving the gun. "The worst part is that you're mortal, unlike Isaiah and Elena. They have power. But you… you're just two pathetic kids. It'll be fun to watch them kill you."

"You won't touch us," Evan growled, at about the same time that Mason killed Elena.

The human flinched, seeing one of his masters fall to the ground, dead. "I can kill you, vampire."

Jill was terrified, more than she had ever been in her life. However, unlike her friends, Jill had faced a human with a gun before. When she was about eight years old, her parents had been robbed at gunpoint. Her parents had given the man all their money, and he had left. 'Humans are easy,' her mother had said. 'Give them what they want, and they'll leave you alone.' This man wanted to serve the Strigoi and would kill for them, which made her mother's advice unwise to follow. Even so, Jill had her own ways of keeping herself safe.

"No," Jill said. Her voice was calm, startling the man. "You won't."

"What do you mean I won't?"

Quickly, decisively, Jill raised a hand. She formed a spike from the ice and snow which lay around them and slammed it into the man. In shocked reflex, the man pulled the trigger of his gun. Jill fell to the ground as pain ripped through her.

What Rose, Eddie, and Mason saw when they turned away from the corpses of the two Strigoi was Jill and the human on the ground, with Evan kneeling above Jill.

"No!" The scream tore from Rose's throat as she ran to Jill. She pressed a hand to Jill's cheek.

Jill blinked at her, breathing rapidly. "Shot," she muttered.

Rose saw the gun in Evan's hand, and the severely injured human on the ground. "Mason, secure the human. Eddie, help stabilize Jill. I'll call for help."

The guys went to work immediately. Rose knew that the basic first aid training they had received as novices wasn't enough to fix a bullet wound. Jill could die, and Rose knew that it would be her fault.

With trembling hands, Rose called her room at the ski lodge. It felt like an eternity until Meredith picked up the phone. "Mere, it's Rose. We need help."

"What happened?"

"No time. Get medical help here. Jill was shot." Rose looked at Mason. "What's the name of the cross streets?"

Mason finished securing the human's hands with his belt. Jill's ice attack had cut open a hole in the man's abdomen. The stray bullet had hit Jill in a similar place. He ran to the road and returned a few minutes with the street names; he relayed them to Rose.

After giving the street names to Meredith, Rose got off the phone. She paced anxiously, unable to process anything. They had killed two Strigoi, but they were now stranded in Spokane, and Jill was severely injured. Rose couldn't breathe; she wanted to be sick.

Mason stood in front of Rose, stopping her pacing. She looked up at him. He opened his arms to her, and she fell into his embrace, sobbing tearlessly against his chest. She only allowed herself a few moments of grief and fear before she pulled away. The phone rang before she could say anything.

"Hello?"

"Rose? What's happening?"

"Mom?" A sob escaped Rose's chest. "I'm sorry. Please, we need help."

There was an edge of controlled panic in Janine's voice. "Help is on the way. Meredith told us the basics of your escape and that someone was shot. We need to know what happened."

Rose took a few deep breaths. She watched as Eddie and Evan tended to the two wounded. She also watched as Mason hauled the two Strigoi bodies into the van. Rose dimly realized that the dead bodies had looked rather conspicuous on the ground.

"We were returning. We got a flat tire and were changing it when two Strigoi arrived. We killed them, but their human driver attacked Jill. She was shot."

"Jill… Jill was the person who was shot."

Rose started shaking, tears falling quickly down her cheeks. "Yes. She's alive for now… Mom, I…"

"We'll be there as soon as we can. Rose, it will be okay." Janine's voice was uncharacteristically soothing. "The first team to arrive will be a Moroi doctor who works at a nearby hospital. I'll have them send an Alchemist as well."

"A what?"

"They're humans that the guardians work with to clear up evidence of vampires. You'll be taught about them later."

"Okay. Mom, what happens if Jill…" Rose couldn't finish the thought, it was too awful to consider Jill dying.

"I don't know."

"I can't… mom, they'll hate me…" She meant the Dragomirs, but Rose knew that she would never live with herself if Jill died.

"We're sending Ivan's flight directly to where you will be going. If she can be stabilized for a few hours, she can be healed."

"Are you coordinating?" Rose could hear voices in the background.

"Yes," Janine replied. "The doctor is on route to you now, and so is the Alchemist. They'll reach you soon. Ivan and the others still need to board their flight, but it will be about four hours until they can get to you."

"Okay." Rose walked to the car, sitting against the hood. "I'm sorry, mom."

"You're alive," Janine said softly, "for now apologies can wait."

"But I… I shouldn't have left and now Jill…"

"You're young." Janine's deep breath was audible, even through the phone. "Young people make mistakes, even bad mistakes, but we learn from them."

Rose nodded, unable to speak. Mason now stood beside her. He had successfully maneuvered the Strigoi corpses into the van. Rose realized that he was covered in blood. Glancing at her free hand and her coat, Rose realized that she was likewise covered in blood. She also felt the sticky blood slowly dripping from her nose.

"How will I know this Alchemist when they arrive?"

"The human will have a golden lily tattooed onto their cheek. A woman named Sallie Grey is the contact in Spokane. She is the one who will talk to you. She will dispose of the Strigoi bodies. The Moroi doctor is named Jack Hartwell, and he will arrive in an ambulance."

"How long?"

"Ten minutes was their last ETA."

"Together?"

"No, they're coming from different directions."

Rose remained on her phone with Janine the entire time, although most of it was silent. Jill was still awake, though she was looking considerably worse as time passed, as was the human. Around ten minutes later, an ambulance and a car pulled into the lot. Mason and Eddie stood, stakes poised.

"It's the help," Rose said softly. She had no energy left to fight, even if it was a threat.

The human stepped out of the car. She was a middle-aged woman. She scanned the scene, eyes wide in shock from all the blood which stained the ground. "I heard there were dead Strigoi?"

"In the van," Mason said, sheathing his stake.

Mason walked with the Alchemist to the van, showing her the bodies. He asked her what she was going to do. When she explained that she had a substance which would disintegrate the Strigoi, Mason asked if he could check the bodies first. He went through the pockets of the two Strigoi. He pulled out their phones and wallets, setting them aside for the guardians to inspect. He then watched as the Alchemist destroyed the bodies.

A Moroi and two guardians got out of the ambulance. They walked quickly to where Jill, Evan, and the injured human were. "I'm Jack Hartwell," the Moroi doctor said. "The girl who was injured is Jillian Dragomir?"

"Yes," Evan said. He was desperately holding onto Jill's hand.

"Can you help her?" Rose asked.

The doctor and one of the guardians knelt beside Jill. Jack cut away her coat and shirt without a second's hesitation. He examined the wound with clinical detachment. "We'll see. I need to get all of you to the clinic. I heard that there's some sort of healer on the way?"

"Yeah," Rose said dully. "Can she be stabilized 'til then?"

The doctor's jaw set. "I'll do my best." He looked at the human. "I didn't know we had an injured human. Sallie, what do you want to do?"

The Alchemist approached from the van. "Why is there a wounded human?"

"He attacked us," Evan spat. "He worked for the Strigoi."

Sallie's face twisted in disgust. "He's less than dirt."

Eddie spoke up. "He was working with the Strigoi. Keeping him alive might give us answers."

Jack sighed thoughtfully. "We can load them both, but it will be a tight squeeze. What happened to him?"

"Ice spike," Evan said. "It's Jill's specialty."

The Alchemist shuddered. "I'll go with you if you're keeping the human. He may be scum, but he's still my species."

"What's your problem?" Rose snapped. "Our friend might die, and you're acting like we're the problem."

"Alchemists are here to protect the world from the threat of vampires. We work in cooperation with the guardians and the Moroi government, but our first goal is to protect humans."

"This isn't helping," Jack said. His voice was loud and commanding. He had finished his ministrations on Jill. "Dwayne, redhead, get Jill into the ambulance. We'll get the human in second."

Mason and the guardian named Dwayne helped load Jill onto a stretcher and settle her into the ambulance. They returned a few moments later to load the human into the ambulance. Dwayne remained inside the ambulance, working on attaching fluids to both of the wounded.

Jack looked at them. "Which one of you help tend to Jill?"

"I did," said Eddie.

"Get in the ambulance with Dwayne; you're assisting."

Eddie nodded and did as ordered.

"The rest of you get in the car with Sallie. She will drive you to the clinic. The car and van will be dealt with by the guardians who are on route."

Rose nodded slowly. She looked at her phone, which was still on. "Mom, are you still there?"

"Yes, Rose."

"We're going to the clinic now. Are you coming?"

"Yes, I'm coming."

Rose nodded, forgetting that her nod would not be heard over the phone. She hung up and got into the back of the car with Mason and Evan. They followed the ambulance across town to the clinic, not knowing if Jill would survive.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting, you're all lovely._

 _Critiques are welcomed :)_

 _Mason lived! Will Jill? How much trouble are they in? Natalie was finally mentioned again, and some other Strigoi were mentioned too..._

Unrelated, but still possibly interesting. I live and work in the area around Lehigh University (where Lissa goes). I decided that I'm going to take pictures of the area and post them to my tumblr (bluegoldrose). I'll tag them all (#lehigh valley). I only posted two so far- of Lehigh's one building that I took today because it was pretty.

I wanted to do this in general, but I wanted to mention it here so that you could see what the area is like either for curiosity or for your own stories. I'm also willing to answer any questions you might have about the area for your own stories, since I know some of you are writers too. Until next week!


	14. Consequences

Rose Hathaway's nose was broken, and her left arm had a hairline fracture. Mason had two broken fingers. Eddie had managed to escape the fight with bruises. Evan was unharmed. Jill was still in surgery when the clinic's staff finished tending to Rose, Mason, and Eddie. The guys were given one hospital room, and Rose was given her own.

Rose was glad to be alone. She didn't want to be around anyone. She didn't want to think or feel or remember. They had given her medicine for the pain she was beginning to feel. Her arm ached, and her nose throbbed. She stared at her hands. Dried blood crusted under her nails and along the cuticles. Her coat, the new one she had gotten for Christmas, was ruined by blood. Her clothing had escaped the worst of the blood.

Weary, Rose rested in her hospital bed. With her eyes closed, she prayed to any higher power that might exist for Jill to survive. Against her will- due to exhaustion, pain, and narcotics- Rose fell asleep.

* * *

Janine Hathaway and Frank Linden drove from the airport to the clinic together. Another group of guardians went to where the cars had been left. Janine had barely said anything after leaving the ski lodge. Too many emotions warred within her. Fear and anger fought to break to the surface.

She had so many questions. Why had Rose and her friends left? What had they been doing? Would Jill live? What would happen next?

Frank drove, for which Janine was grateful. She couldn't think straight. She needed to know that Rose was safe. The accusatory part of her mind, the one that told her she was a failure of a parent, wondered why it mattered. She had been gone for three years. She would never be what her daughter needed. She would never be good enough.

They parked at the clinic and quickly got out of the car. A guardian met them at the door.

"We have wards," he said, "but we're still on alert. I'm Dwyane Albertson, I'm one of Doctor Hartwell's guardians and assistants."

"Frank Linden."

"Janine Hathaway."

Dwayne's eyes widened a bit. "I've heard of both of you. Come in. I should tell you first that Miss Dragomir is in recovery. She's asleep, but she is still with us."

"Thank God," Frank said in relief. His tension visibly decreased as they stepped inside.

Dwayne kept talking as they walked. "They are all asleep at the moment. I can debrief you on what we learned during their examinations. Did you want to look in on them first?"

"Yes," Janine replied. "We need to call Prince Dragomir after we check on Jill."

"Recovery room first then," said Dwayne.

He turned down a hall. After a few minutes, he arrived at a door. He knocked softly, and a human woman opened the door. She was dressed in medical scrubs.

"How is she?" Dwayne asked.

"Asleep. The drugs will keep her out for a few hours. Doctor Hartwell is writing up his notes," the woman replied.

"These two are here to check on all of the teens. They're guardians."

The human nodded. "Come in."

The woman pulled aside a privacy curtain. Jill lay on a bed, very pale. Monitors and IVs were hooked up to her.

"Thank you," said Janine. "Where are the others?"

"Follow me," Dwayne replied. "And don't worry about Miss Dragomir. Elisabeth will keep an eye on her. The worst is over."

Janine and Frank followed. The next room they came to held Mason, Eddie, and Evan. The three boys were asleep in their beds. Another human woman in medical scrubs was sitting in the room with them. Janine took note of the bruises on the boys, and the dried blood on their clothes.

"They killed two Strigoi," Dwayne said when they left the boys. "Your daughter and Mister Ashford had the kills, from what little they said as we treated them. We have a human in our custody as well. Miss Dragomir wounded him."

"Jill?" Frank questioned.

"Apparently she is a water user who has a fondness for making ice spikes. She injured him, and he shot her. They're both lucky our clinic is here. They both could have died. I should warn you that Miss Hathaway sustained a broken nose and an arm fracture."

Janine felt winded. "Thank you."

The sight of Rose was worse than Janine had anticipated. Dark circles had formed under Rose's eyes. Blood crusted on her clothes and fingers. Her arm was in a splint, and her nose had a nasal cast on it.

"I'll call the lodge," Frank said.

Janine nodded mutely. She didn't realize for several minutes that the nurse and guardian had left with Frank. Janine was alone with her daughter.

She didn't know what to do. Janine had not been raised with hugs and caresses. She had not been raised with affection or love. She didn't understand how to show affection the way her daughter needed. She took a seat on the chair beside Rose and watched her daughter sleep.

* * *

Dimitri Belikov, Ivan Zeklos, and the rest of their party arrived at the airport a few hours later. Tasha Ozera, Christian Ozera, and Brandon Metz separated from the others in the terminal. They were escorted to a waiting plane which would return everyone to the resort in groups as needed. Dimitri, Ivan, and Sonya Karp continued to the clinic.

Greeted by the news that all five of the students were alive and resting, Dimitri felt some of his tension decrease. They parted at Jill's hospital room. Ivan and Sonya went inside to heal Jill. Dimitri made his way to Rose.

Dimitri felt a bit guilty about not checking on the other students, but he truly had no responsibility for any of them. He was glad that they were safe, but his responsibility was toward Ivan. With Ivan safe, Dimitri allowed himself to worry about Rose.

When the news had arrived that she was in trouble in Spokane, pain and fear clenched at his heart. He was still amazed that Rose had such an impact on him after only two months. He tried rationalizing it as concern for a friend in danger, but he knew that was a lie.

Concern for a friend would involve worry and fear. He worried and feared for Jill's life, as he would for a friend. What Dimitri felt at the thought of Rose being endangered was like a punch to the gut- it hurt him to breathe.

The door to Rose's hospital room was open, so Dimitri walked inside. He drew a sharp breath at the sight of Rose. She was asleep, but she looked terrible. He noticed Janine Hathaway sitting beside Rose, holding her daughter's hand.

Janine looked at him. She was weary and very obviously worried. "You've arrived."

"Our trip was successful. Ivan and Sonya Karp are with Jill."

Janine nodded. She looked at Rose. "She has a broken nose and a hairline fracture in her arm. She and Mason killed two Strigoi."

Dimitri let that information settle in his mind for several moments before he spoke again. "That's what they were trained to do."

"I know."

"Do you know what will happen to them?"

Janine squeezed Rose's hand lightly. Rose stirred but didn't wake. "When they wake up, they will all need to give written reports of what happened. It has been decided that they should be flown to the school instead of the ski lodge. Mason and Eddie's mothers have been contacted, and they will be brought to the school as well."

"How did they get out? Why did they come here?"

Janine sighed heavily. "Two different guardians unwittingly helped. Guardian Richard Crane is the uncle of Meredith Crane, a senior novice. He loaned a courtesy car to her. She remained behind and let her friends use it. They were able to leave through the front gates. David Smith, one of the Dragomir guardians, told Rose about the Strigoi activity reports. It doesn't make what they did right, but students aren't the only ones to blame."

"Do you think they'll be expelled?"

"No." The conviction in Janine's voice left little doubt that she would not allow her daughter to be expelled.

Dimitri nodded. He wanted to stay. He wanted to watch Rose sleep, but he felt like an intruder in that moment.

"Have a seat," Janine offered. "I think that she'll be glad that you're here."

"Thank you." Dimitri took a seat in a corner of the room and waited.

* * *

Through a haze of drugs and pain, Jillian Mastrano-Dragomir slowly opened her eyes. Her bleary eyes focused on red hair. Slow recognition poked at Jill's mind. She saw blue eyes in a face that she remembered well.

"Sonya?" Jill's voice was a soft mumble. "Am I asleep?"

"No sweetie, you're awake," Sonya replied. "You're at a clinic in Spokane. I'm here with you. Ivan healed me."

Tears blurred Jill's vision. "Really?"

Sonya took her hand, squeezing it tight. "Yes."

Jill shifted upward in her bed. She rested her free hand on her stomach. She was sore, but not in the pain she expected. "You healed me?"

"Yes, but not completely. Ivan wants me to be careful so that I don't deteriorate again."

"Good idea," Jill agreed quietly.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't manage the darkness."

"It's not your fault. I've seen Lissa dealing with it. I know it's not easy."

"I promised you and your mother that I would be here when you need me."

"I know."

"Has the rest of our family been around for you?"

Jill nodded. "Yeah. Grandma sends me cards and cookies. Other cousins write. I usually visit them for a month in the summer. Mostly I'm with my father's family when I'm not at school."

Sonya let silence grow between them. She still held Jill's hand. "What happened today?"

Jill brushed away tears which had formed again. "I wanted to fight back. It just didn't work out like we planned."

"Why did you go out hunting Strigoi?"

"They killed Evan, my boyfriend's, parents. The guardians weren't doing anything to fight back, and we thought that we could stop the massacres. We thought we could get revenge."

"You nearly died."

Jill sniffed, wiping at her tears again. "I know. I… are you mad at me?"

"No sweetie, I'm not mad at you."

"Are my parents?"

Sonya pressed her lips together in a thin line. Drawing a deep breath, she answered. "I don't know. They were told that you are recovering and will meet with you later today. You and your friends will be escorted back to St. Vladimir's at sun up."

"Do you know how much trouble we're in?"

"No. I don't believe that any decisions have been made yet."

Jill leaned back, resting her head against the hospital bed. "How are my friends?"

"They're recovering. Rose looks the worst, and she had the most injuries next to you."

"I saw the Strigoi hit her. How bad is she?"

"Broken nose and arm. We'll heal her later."

"Why are you waiting?"

Sonya grimaced. "Her mother, Ivan, and Guardian Belikov agreed that Rose will seem more sympathetic to the school's authorities if she is seen as is."

"Does Rose know that?"

"Not yet. She was still asleep when Ivan last checked on us."

Jill nodded slowly. Memories of the fight flitted through her mind. She thought of Rose, Mason, and Eddie fighting the Strigoi and shuddered. Then the other memory came to the forefront of her mind. She remembered the man who had shot her.

"Did the man, the human, survive?"

"Yes."

Jill closed her eyes. She was relieved. She hated the human, but she didn't want to be a killer.

* * *

Rose woke to throbbing pain in her nose. She whimpered in pain long before she opened her eyes. When she did bring herself to open her eyes, she saw her mother sitting beside her bed.

"Mom?"

Janine gave her daughter a small smile. "You're finally awake. The doctor said that you might need more pain medicine."

"Yeah," Rose agreed. "My head feels like I was punched by a Strigoi." Her eyes opened wide a moment later. "Jill! Is she, did she make it?"

"She's fine."

Rose released a heavy sigh of relief. "Does she hate me?"

"Why would she hate you?"

"Because I didn't protect her."

"Rose." Janine's voice was warmly sympathetic. "You did your best under the circumstances."

Rose nodded. She looked down. Her voice became very quiet. "Do you hate me?"

Janine took her daughter's hand and squeezed. "Nothing you do could make me hate you. I wish that you had made better choices, but nothing can change what happened. I told you last week that sometimes we fail, no matter our best efforts."

"I remember." Rose felt horrible, remembering that she yelled at her mother in class. "How much trouble am I in?"

"I don't know yet."

Janine and Rose spoke for a while. Rose was given more medication for pain, along with food. She hungrily chowed down on the cold fried chicken and tacos that were given to her. After eating, Rose briefly checked in with her friends. Satisfied that Jill was indeed alive, and that no one hated her, Rose submitted to the orders of her mother. She was required to write down everything that had happened, from start to finish, as an incident report.

The report took up the time until they were ready to leave. They planned to head to the airport at six in the morning. Their belongings from the lodge would be sent back to the school, separately from the students.

They walked to the cars outside the clinic in groups. Multiple guardians were there as escorts. Jill, Sonya, Frank, and another guardian went in one car. Eddie, Mason, and two other guardians entered a second car. Evan went in a third car with yet another group of guardians. Rose, Janine, Ivan, and Dimitri left in the fourth car.

As Rose left the building, not wearing her ruined coat, pain thrummed through her skull. Rose nearly collapsed, pressing the hand of her unbroken arm to her head. Dimitri caught her, pulling her back a few steps so that they stood within the ward.

"What just happened?" Janine asked.

"My head felt like someone was shoving a spike through it. I don't feel it now though." Rose looked between Dimitri, her mother, and Ivan in utter confusion.

"It's the ghosts," Dimitri said quietly. "We should go back inside."

They walked back into the building, and one of the nurses showed them to a conference room when Dimitri asked for a place where they could talk privately. Dimitri explained to Janine about the spirits he could see as a shadow kissed person. When Janine questioned why Rose hadn't faced this before, Rose was the one to answer.

"I hadn't killed." She looked at Dimitri. "You said that killing changes something in your soul. Maybe you were right. That's the difference. So, how do I survive outside of wards?"

"You have to create a barrier in your mind. You have to will them to leave you alone."

Rose looked very skeptically at Dimitri.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"It's not like I have much of a choice."

They walked outside the clinic again. Janine and Ivan went to the car before Rose and Dimitri crossed the wards.

Rose took a deep breath and walked into the parking lot. Pain shot through her skull again, amplified by the pain of her broken nose. Dimitri held her arm, steadying her. Dark shapes flitted across Rose's vision, eventually clarifying into pale images of people. She wanted to scream.

"Breathe."

She obediently drew a deep breath, slowly letting it out.

"Tell them to go away quietly. Your volume is irrelevant. Your will is what matters."

"Are you looking at them?"

"Yes."

Swallowing, Rose focused. "Leave me alone." Her voice was quiet, but her command was certain. Some of the ghosts faded. With a few more commands and a lot of willpower, Rose forced the ghosts away.

"I can still feel it," she said. "There is a soft ache in my mind from holding them back."

"That's normal."

Rose smiled wryly up at him. "You always have a headache?

He shrugged. "Only outside of wards, and it isn't painful anymore. I just find it mildly irritating. Now come on, we need to leave."

* * *

They gathered in a conference room in the administrative building of St. Vladimir's Academy. Students sat on one side while their parents and legal guardians sat on the other. Headmistress Kirova and Alberta Petrov- the head of the campus guardians- sat at the head of the table.

Rose sat across the table from her mother. Jill sat beside Rose with Eric, Rhea, and Sonya across from her. Evan and his aunt were next, then Mason, Eddie, and Meredith with their mothers across from them.

Although the parents had all been relieved and overjoyed to see their children again, the atmosphere had changed when everyone settled in their seats. The students were going to face the consequences to their actions. The headmistress stood, ready to speak. Her face was grim.

"Actions have consequences. In all my years as headmistress of this school, I have never had students act as you six have done. You could have gotten yourselves killed. You nearly got one of the only Dragomirs killed."

"They didn't almost get me killed," Jill protested.

"Jillian!" Eric Dragomir's voice was a command.

Jill glared at him. "I made the choice to go. I wanted to fight back. You're not opposed to Moroi fighting."

"I am not opposed to _adults_ defending themselves. You're not an adult. You are a fourteen-year-old girl. You put your life in danger and nearly died."

Jill stood, groaning a little at the pain from her not fully healed wounds. She was shaking with anger. "Like you care."

"Jill." Sonya said her name as a gentle reprimand.

Jill shook her head, blinking back angry tears. "You know he had nothing to do with me for years!" She looked at her father again. "Do you know that I never lived in a house with wards when I lived with my mom? You know that we didn't have a guardian. Do you know that I played outside with the neighborhood kids every summer? Humans were my friends and playmates. For nearly eleven years of my life I lived without you."

"You live with me now," Eric said quietly.

"Yeah, I do. And you expect me to act like I never had a life before you. Do you know that yesterday wasn't the first time I had a gun in my face? Did you ever think that I could have been there when my mom and dad were killed? Would you have known? Would you have cared?"

The room fell uncomfortably silent. Evan reached for Jill's hand and squeezed. Rhea was crying, a hand pressed to her lips. Sonya looked at her lap. Eric ran his hands across his face and into his hair.

Eric closed his eyes briefly, swearing under his breath. He looked up at Jill, tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry for failing you. I honored your mother's wishes to stay out of your life. If I could do it over again I would, but I can't."

Shaking, Jill sank into her chair.

"I want to keep you safe. Your mother wanted to keep you safe. She wanted to keep you safe from the politics of the royal court. She thought that the risk of being royal was greater than the risk of being unguarded."

"You could have found a way to do both," Jill cried.

"I wish that things had been different." Eric drew a deep breath. "But as things stand, I am your father. I am responsible for you and your safety until you are eighteen. When you are at school, you are under the protection of the school's guardians. What you did was reckless, and we were afraid that you wouldn't live. I love you, and I would be devastated if you died."

Jill wiped away the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. Giving up, she rested her arms on the table and buried her face against her arms.

No one spoke for several minutes. Several people drew deep breaths to calm themselves. Eventually, Headmistress Kirova spoke again.

"Due to the serious nature of your transgressions, the punishment must also be serious. We have decided that for the months of January and February, all six of you will have your activities strictly limited. You will attend your classes and training sessions. You will take part in no social activities, other than meals. During your time not in classes or at meals, you will be in your dorm rooms. For you novices, this means that you will still be under restrictions when your field experience begins. If your parents want to add further punishment, that is up to their discretion."

Corinne Badica stood slowly. "I believe that it would be for the best if I withdraw my nephew from the school."

Evan and Jill gasped. Evan stood. "No, you can't do this to me."

"I can, and I must. I was willing to allow you to stay here with your friends so that you could handle the loss of your parents and our relatives more easily. However, it is clear to me that your friends are a negative influence on your life, not a positive one. You will live at court with me until you are of age."

Evan shook his head. "No. I need them." He looked at Eric and Rhea. "You wanted me to stay."

"We did," Eric agreed, "but I am inclined to agree with your aunt at this time."

Jill stood, clinging to her boyfriend. "No!"

"Nothing will change my mind," Corinne said firmly. "Say your goodbyes and come with me."

Evan glared daggers at his aunt before looking back at Jill. He whispered into her ear. "I love you. We'll keep in touch. I promise."

She nodded. "I love you too." Jill kissed him softly.

Evan let go and trudged slowly to the door. He looked at his aunt. "Two and a half years until I'm eighteen. After that, I'm gone."

Corinne sighed. "You might change your mind. In the meantime, you will be safe from the influence of that bastard and her friends."

Rhea stood before anyone else caught the meaning of Corinne's words. Her voice was icy and fierce. "Never speak of my daughter that way again."

Corinne Badica gave Rhea Dragomir a curt nod, turned on her heel, and left the room. Evan trudged after her, glaring hatefully at his aunt.

Jill looked at Rhea, eyes full of wonder and pain. Rhea walked to her step-daughter and wrapped her in a tight embrace.

"I love you Jill. Nothing will change that fact, and no one will speak about you in such crude ways in my presence." Rhea wiped tears from Jill's cheek with one hand, then brushed wisps of hair behind her ears. "I love you as much as I love Lissa and Andre. We'll work through this, I promise."

Jill nodded, burying her face against Rhea's shoulder.

When everyone quieted and took their seats again, the meeting resumed. The guidelines and restrictions for each of the students were discussed at length. When the meeting was done, the students and their parents filed out of the room. Each of the students prepared themselves for a lecture. Rose and Jill, along with Rhea, Eric, Sonya, and Janine lingered briefly in the room. Jill had calmed from her tears. Rose stood in front of Eric and Rhea, half-expecting that they would reject her.

"Rose," Eric began, "while we are disappointed in your conduct. We still expect that you will graduate to guard Lissa."

"You're not mad at me?"

"No," Rhea said. "We were afraid and as Eric said, we are disappointed. We also know that you were acting on information David gave you, and that your classmate's uncle was responsible for the loan of a car. The blame for this rests on many shoulders."

"Thank you," Rose said.

"You know that we love you," Rhea told her, giving Rose a hug, "and we are glad that you all made it back to us in one piece."

Rose looked at her splinted arm and felt the throb of her broken nose. "Mostly in one piece."

"I can fix that," Sonya said.

"Are you sure?" Rose asked.

"Yes."

Sonya approached Rose and rested her hands on her. First, she healed Rose's arm, and then she healed her nose. Sonya and Rose first removed her splint, and then removed the nasal cast. Rose felt her nose for several moments, hoping it was normal.

Janine considered her daughter for a moment before commenting. "Your nose is mostly the same."

"Mostly?" Rose sounded a bit hysterical.

Rhea offered reassurance. "It's a tiny bit off from its original position, but it isn't particularly noticeable except to people who know you well."

Rose sighed heavily. "The price I pay for slaying monsters."

"You're still beautiful," Eric said.

Rose smiled. "Thanks."

Eric motioned for Rose to step forward. He gave her a hug, and then hugged Jill. "Come on, the two of you need to get cleaned up."

Everyone else had left by the time they reached the lobby. Ivan and Dimitri were waiting for them.

Ivan looked at Eric and Rhea. "I'll be going back to the resort for the next day. I didn't know your plans."

"We'll stay here with Jill," Eric answered. "Andre and Lissa will be arriving tomorrow, after the New Year's festivities. After that, we will return home with Andre."

"I have to return," Janine said. She looked at Rose. "I'll be back again tomorrow."

Rose nodded. "I understand."

Ivan looked at Rose. "I decided that Dimitri should remain behind to discuss your newly awakened shadow kissed abilities."

"Oh, thanks." Rose ran a hand through her hair. She glanced ruefully at its messy condition. "Can that wait for a little while?"

They all laughed.

"Yes, Rose," Dimitri said. "We can discuss that after you rest."

"Thanks."

Rose said brief goodbyes and left the lobby. She walked toward her dorm, arms wrapped around herself against the cold. The dorm was quiet and empty on the ground floor. Rose could hear Meredith's mother lecturing when she passed Meredith's door. Rose grabbed a few things from her room and walked to the showers.

Eric and Rhea left the lobby with Jill, walking together to her dorm. They walked quietly, not ready to talk again after their emotional argument. They left Jill at her room, promising that they would meet for dinner.

Sonya Karp was called to meet with Headmistress Kirova. The meeting, to Sonya's surprise, was brief. She was offered a position as an assistant science teacher for the youngest students. It wasn't quite the position she had held before, but it was close. Sonya accepted the job. When she left the headmistress's office, the lobby was empty aside from one person. Mikhail Tanner, the man Sonya loved, was waiting for her.

"I heard they healed you."

"They did. I'm better now."

Without another word, Mikhail wrapped his arms around Sonya and kissed her. Sonya melted against him, happier than she could remember being in her entire life. They walked from the administrative building together and talked for hours.

Janine, Ivan, and Dimitri left the lobby together shortly after the Dragomirs walked away with Jill. Janine and Ivan needed to fly out later in the day, but they had nothing to do until then.

As they walked, Janine spoke up. "Lord Zeklos, I was wondering if I could speak with Guardian Belikov in private."

The men exchanged a look. "Of course," Ivan said. He wished Dimitri luck through the silence of their bond.

Ivan continued toward the guest apartments while Dimitri and Janine walked toward the gardens. She waited a while before speaking. Dimitri had a good idea of what Janine wanted to talk about.

She stopped walking and looked him directly in the eyes. "What are your feelings toward my daughter?"

"I care about her," he said evenly.

"I gathered that much already." She took a deep breath. "I left my daughter to the care of the school and the Dragomirs because I trust them. I trust the judgment of Eric and Rhea, including the fact that they chose Ivan to tutor their daughter. I trust the school's decision to allow you to mentor my daughter. I believe that you have been a great benefit to her, but I also believe that more is going on."

"What makes you think that?"

Her lips crooked into a wry smile. "At the clinic you entered her room without knocking, and you sat in her room while she slept. I could see how you felt when you watched her, and when you pulled her back into the wards. You care about her as more than just a trainee or friend."

Dimitri said nothing.

"I want what is best for Rose," she said softly. "She is old enough to fight. She is old enough to kill. She is old enough to love. And she is too young to understand what it all means."

"I know," he agreed.

"Don't hurt her."

It took a moment for Dimitri to grasp the implications of Janine's words. "I don't intend to hurt her. Unless you are talking about…"

"If you pursue her, don't hurt her."

Dimitri was stunned. "You're giving me permission to pursue your daughter, romantically?"

Janine cocked her head to the side. "I don't have that right. All I can do is love her and worry about her. I know that you care for one another, and I trust that you do not have any ill intentions toward her."

"I only want the best for her," he promised.

"Good." Janine turned, uncomfortable with the entire conversation.

"Guardian Hathaway?"

She turned back to face Dimitri. "Yes?"

"You don't care about the age difference?"

She gave him an amused smile. "Rose's father is ten years older than me. We met when I was eighteen." She paused a moment, considering something. "If you were a Moroi, I'd be more concerned."

Dimitri nodded slowly. "I understand."

Janine walked away a few moments later. Dimitri stood still on the deserted pathway for a long time. Too many thoughts wrestled in his mind. His emotions were confused. After thinking for a while, he came to a decision and walked back to guest housing.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting, you're all lovely._

 _Critiques are welcomed :)_


	15. Beginning

**Note:** _This chapter is "M" rated._

* * *

Rose slept after her shower. When she woke up, it was five in the afternoon- early morning for Moroi. It would be January first in a matter of hours. She ran fingers through her tangled hair, muttering about having slept with wet hair.

It wasn't too long before there was a knock on her door. "Are you up?" Meredith called.

"Mostly," Rose mumbled. "Come in."

Meredith opened the door, dragging a duffel bag behind her. "I packed your stuff and brought it. You were asleep when my mom stopped lecturing me."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"How much trouble is your uncle in?"

Meredith shrugged. "Not much. He has a mark on his record, but his Moroi still wants him. And he no longer trusts me, at all."

"Sorry about that."

"Not your fault." Meredith walked further into the room, taking a seat on the desk chair. "I'm the one who asked him for a car. I'm the one who stayed as a look out. There's more than enough blame to go around."

Rose forced herself up in the bed, brushing back her hair with her fingers. "I guess you're right."

"You're healed," Meredith gasped.

"Oh, yeah." Drawing a deep breath, Rose told Meredith the truth about spirit. Rose realized that she would need to explain it to everyone else who was in the conference room too, since they had seen her injuries. She knew that eventually spirit would no longer be a secret known only to a few people- everyone would know one day.

Meredith listened, absorbing the story with rapt interest. She was speechless when Rose was finished. "So that's why you're being mentored by Guardian Belikov and Lissa spends so much time with Lord Zeklos."

"Yeah. You also saw that Ms. Karp came back, she's going to train with them now that she's healed. Another spirit user will be coming too."

"And we'll be spending most of our time locked inside our rooms for the next two months."

"Happy New Year to us."

"I'm surprised you didn't fight the punishment. You normally do."

Rose shrugged. "I feel like I deserve it. We could have died. Jill nearly did. Plus, Jill yelling at her parents was really awkward."

Meredith cringed. "Yeah." With a deliberate pause, she smiled and changed the subject. "So, you and Mason are getting molnija marks."

"I guess we are," Rose replied, a bit startled. With everything else going on, it had not occurred to her that killing the Strigoi meant she had earned a molnija mark.

"What was it like?"

Rose thought about the monster who had broken her arm and nose. She shuddered. "It was horrible. I thought he was going to kill me. They are so fast and strong…" She shook her head. "Honestly, if it wasn't for Eddie helping me, I'd be dead. Killing him… it was weird. You know how they make us train with the dummies?"

"Yeah."

"It's nothing like that. The ribs and blood… and screams…" Rose shook her head in horror. She was rubbing her hands together as though she could still feel the blood. "I can't really explain it."

Meredith nodded. "That's okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I only asked because I'll probably have to do it too one day."

"We all will," Rose said quietly. "It's what we've been training to do all our lives."

* * *

Lissa stuck to Christian's side throughout the New Year's party. She was grateful that he had returned to her. She needed his strength to lean on. She couldn't believe that Rose had taken Jill out of the wards. She couldn't believe that Rose and Mason had killed Strigoi or that Jill had been shot. She wanted to be with her parents and sister, but her parents had wanted her and Andre to stay behind and socialize.

"Cheer up, cousin," Adrian Ivashkov told her. "It all worked out in the end. We've all done reckless things once or twice."

Lissa rolled her eyes at Adrian. "I haven't. I would never run headlong into danger."

"That's my job," Christian said.

"You're saying that you would have gone with them?"

Christian grinned at Lissa's concern. "I'm training to fight, so why not? Fire can kill a Strigoi. I wouldn't have taken Jill and Evan, but I'd fight."

Lissa sighed with exasperation. She looked at Tasha and Ivan, who were approaching from the appetizer table. "Can you talk sense into your nephew?" she pleaded.

Tasha looked from Lissa to Christian, eyebrows raised. "What are you trying to do now?"

He shrugged. "I was just saying that I'm willing to fight Strigoi. I would've been more useful to Rose, Eddie, and Mason than either Jill or Evan."

Tasha shook her head. "What they did was reckless. I want you to fight sensibly, not recklessly." She looked at Ivan. "You have to start talking more sense into your future nephew."

Ivan laughed. "I can try, although you'll be around more to do that too."

"You're coming to the school?" Lissa asked.

"I'll be visiting Ivan one week per month until the two of you graduate in June. I'm rather tired of missing my fiancé all the time."

Ivan wrapped an arm around Tasha's waist. "The feeling is mutual." He brushed his lips against hers in a quick kiss. He looked at Lissa and Adrian. "With four spirit users on campus, we should be able to learn quite a lot about our element."

Lissa smiled. "I'll be able to start practicing soon. I can feel it again."

"Just be careful to balance," Tasha warned, looking at Ivan.

"I will. We all will."

"I still can't believe how many of us know each other," Adrian remarked. "I wonder how many more of us are out there, still lost and confused."

Ivan thought about the spirit users locked in the hospital's psychiatric ward. How many more spirit users were out there, suffering because of their element? "We can work on finding them. Now come on, let's be social."

Ivan, Tasha, Lissa, Christian, and Adrian walked around the ballroom, socializing with the various groups of royals. They separated and met back up throughout the evening, preferring the company of their group over most of the guests at the party. Andre and Lauren joined them intermittently as well. At midnight, they stood together to welcome in the new year.

After one in the morning, Andre and Lauren settled on a couch in one corner of the room. The party was still going strong now that the new year had dawned.

"I haven't had the chance to tell you that I'm glad your sister is well," Lauren said. "Rumors were abounding before the news arrived that she was safe, not that I know much."

Andre gave her a small smile. "I just know that she's safe. My parents didn't say much before they left."

"Even if they had, it's none of my business. I'm glad that she was unharmed."

"Thank you. Liss and I will be heading to the school later to see her."

"I'll be leaving today as well. I'm heading back to England."

"No plans on trying to fulfill your grandmother's wishes?" he teased.

She burst out laughing. "I don't think either of us are in a place to pursue a relationship right now, do you?"

He laughed with her. "No, not at all."

She tilted her head to the side, brushing her hair over one shoulder. "I've enjoyed getting to know you. I would enjoy seeing you again."

"I'd like to see you again too. Do you know when you'll be around?"

"I'll probably come to court around Easter. Maybe we can get coffee and talk?"

"I like the sound of that," he said.

She stood, grinning at him. "Well Dragomir, I'll see you then."

He stood too, shaking his head with a laugh. "I look forward to it, Voda."

Laughing, she walked away. Andre watched her go, thinking that she was one of the most fascinating women he had ever met.

* * *

Eric and Rhea invited the punished students and their mothers to their guest apartment for a small New Year's celebration. It was not a reward for their poor actions, but a celebration of the fact that they were all still alive. Jill, Rose, Mason, Eddie, and Meredith all arrived at the apartment a bit subdued. Sonya, Mikhail, Dimitri, and the mothers' of Meredith, Mason, and Eddie joined them in various moods.

They ate pizza and drank soda as they settled in the apartment. Rose read messages on her phone from her mom and Lissa who both promised to talk the following day. She found that she welcomed spending more time with her mother. The entire experience of the past two days had changed Rose's perspective in ways she couldn't yet articulate. She understood her enemy now, and she understood her duty.

The mood lightened throughout the evening. Eddie, Meredith, and Mason's mothers grew less tense around Eric and Rhea as the party progressed. Though the students all knew they were about to be on a two-month lock down, they were glad to spend time with friends and family.

Jill did smile, though her heart broke when she thought about being separated from Evan. He had returned to the ski lodge with his aunt. He texted her, telling her that they would still talk and write. He promised to see her when she was at court. She didn't want to be away from him, but she believed that love would be enough to make their relationship work in the end.

Around eleven o'clock, Eric addressed the room. "I know we said this earlier, but tonight we wanted to celebrate the fact that we are all safely together. While we do not approve of what happened, I wanted to tell you the good news I received earlier. The human who was captured in the attack is being held as a prisoner. He has confessed to being involved at the scenes of both massacres. He has also confessed that the two Strigoi who were killed were the two organizing the massacres. It seems that your actions were not in vain."

Rose, Eddie, and Mason looked from Eric to one another.

Eric continued, a sad smile on his lips. "What you did and what you risked may have saved many lives."

"Just don't try anything like that again," Eddie's mother said.

"We won't," the five students replied.

"What will happen to the human?" Jill asked.

"He will be held indefinitely by the Alchemist authorities," Eric replied. "What he did was considered inexcusable by our authorities and theirs. However, since he is a human, he will be held by humans."

"Now please," Rhea said, "enjoy the evening."

They did. Rose, Mason, and Eddie marveled that they had accomplished what they had set out to do. Their impending two-month punishment was worth the achievement in their eyes. The fact that they could have died was the only thing tempering their enthusiasm.

They watched television, seeing the various time zones celebrate the New Year. They counted together and cheered when their time zone entered the next year. The party lasted a while longer since they were almost all accustomed to an overnight schedule. One by one Eddie, Mason, Meredith, and their mothers left. Jill, Sonya, and Mikhail began talking with the Dragomirs about family and the future, so Rose and Dimitri left together after one in the morning.

They walked out of the apartment, both smiling.

"How are you feeling," Dimitri asked.

"Good, all things considered. It's going to suck being on lock down for two months though."

His smile faded. Looking at her, he arched an eyebrow. "You know that you deserve it, right?"

Her smile faded as well. "Yeah, I know that I messed up enough to be expelled. And I could have died. Jill could have died. If it wasn't for Eddie's assistance, I would be dead. That Strigoi I killed…" She shuddered. "He was so fast. He broke my nose with an open palm. I don't think he was trying."

Dimitri continued walking down the hall. They walked down the steps from the third floor to the second floor of the guest apartment building. "He was probably very old, given what you described."

"I think so too. The one Mason fought was slower, not by much, but still slower."

Dimitri nodded. "I'm glad that you are safe."

She smiled at him. "Thanks. So, do you want to teach me more about ghosts?"

"In a little while." He stopped in front of the apartment he shared with Ivan and Brandon. "First, I want to talk with you."

She looked at him in confusion as he opened the door. "Okay."

When they were inside, he closed the door behind them. She watched him as he began to slowly pace. "I've been thinking a lot," he said eventually.

"About?" Dread began to coil in her gut.

He stopped in front of her and took her hands in his. She looked at their clasped hands and then up at him. Dread transformed into butterflies. Underneath his serious demeanor, she could see the emotions he buried.

"I was so afraid that I would lose you," he said. His voice shook with emotion. "I realized that I'm wasting my life. What am I waiting for? I died once. You died once. We don't know how much longer we have in this world. We face dangers in this life that we can't control. I need to stop worrying about what could be and start living."

Tears started to fall from Rose's eyes, completely against her will. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "So, what are you going to do now?"

He released her hands, wrapping one arm around her waist as the other cupped her chin. "Tell you that I love you, and I want to be with you for however long we have."

Before she could form a reply, he brought his lips to hers. His kiss was soft and sweet. His hand moved from her chin to her hair. She wrapped her arms around his back, feeling the firmness of his muscles against her fingers.

The kiss deepened, growing hungrier as it progressed. She slipped her hands under his shirt, digging her nails into his back. She gasped as his hand slid under her shirt and stroked the soft flesh of her back. His lips left hers, trailing kisses down her neck. She moaned breathlessly against his neck.

They moved further into the apartment, collapsing onto the sofa. He pulled her onto his lap so that she straddled him. They pulled off his shirt first. She ran her fingers along his skin, heart racing as she looked at him.

They paused, looking at one another.

Dimitri swallowed hard, thinking that they were moving far too fast. "We don't have to…"

She laughed huskily. "I'm not a virgin, and it's been almost a year. I really want to."

He chuckled, pressing a kiss to her the hollow of her throat. His fingers moved from her waist to the hem of her sweater, pushing it up. She rocked her hips against him as he pulled her sweater and bra off together.

She shivered at the look in his eyes as they roamed over her body. She kissed him, pressing her naked skin against his. He slid his fingers along her back with feather light movements. She arched against him, moaning at his touch. She buried her hands in his hair, rocking her hips fervently.

He moved his hands to her waist. She pulled back so that he could reach the button and zipper of her jeans. He moved quickly. She lifted her legs, helping him as she slid out of her jeans. Trembling, she knelt in front of him and did the same to him. He lifted his hips and his jeans joined hers on the floor. They both kicked their shoes off with awkward, hurried movements.

They moved onto the sofa. She lay on her back. He moved on top of her. His lips brushed hers, then trailed along her skin. He pressed his lips against her throat, her breasts, her stomach. His fingers trailed along her body, sliding beneath her underwear.

"ты красивая," he murmured as his fingers slid inside her.

She arched against his hand. "Hmm?" She was barely coherent.

He leaned down to her ear. "You're beautiful."

She cried out wordlessly, reaching for him. She pulled him to her, needing his lips. She needed to feel alive. Their movements grew frantic, but he pulled his fingers from her before she could reach her peak. She whimpered as he withdrew from her. He smirked against her lips.

His fingers moved, pulling down the thin fabric which clothed her. She moved her legs to assist him. He pulled off his own underwear a moment later. He hovered above her for a heartbeat, looking into her eyes as he pressed himself into her.

She moaned, arching against him. She wrapped her arms around his chest, digging her nails into his back with desperate need. He moved within her, feeling her desire. He held her, kissed her, and muttered words in Russian which she couldn't understand.

She felt the world dissolve around her as they moved together. With a shuddering cry, she felt her release. He kept moving, and she rode the waves of their passion until he too stiffened and found his release.

Panting and shaking he moved, shifting off her. She shuddered at his every movement. He moved them so that they lay side by side on the sofa. They were both breathless and coated in a sheen of sweat. She snuggled under his chin, still shivering with the high of their passion.

When they could think again, it was Rose who spoke. "Being grounded for the next two months sucks."

He chuckled. "Yes, but you are still allotted time with your mentor."

She turned, looking up at him blearily. "I know you're still going to use that time to train me."

He smiled, brushing his lips against hers. "Yes, but we will still find some time to be together. It will be good practice for when we can't see each other every day."

She groaned, pouting. She pulled his arm around her waist and snuggled closer to him. "No fun."

He kissed her temple. "I think it will be worth it."

Rose nodded, silently agreeing with him. "Do you still want to train me today?"

"Later," he muttered, wrapping her in his embrace.

* * *

Natalie Dashkov drove from Spokane, Washington to an unremarkable road around an hour away from St. Vladimir's Academy in Montana. The road, if it could really be considered a road, meandered through the hills and valleys, deep into a pine forest. At the end of the road was a cabin. It was a large cabin, off any grid known to humans. There was solar power to the house, allowing for electricity. There was also satellite access to the internet, which was spotty at best. The lack of connection to the outside world was why Natalie and others were required to run information to Sofia from the rest of the world.

Natalie pulled into the snow and gravel packed driveway in front of the cabin and turned off the SUV. She was eager to leave the confined space. She had brought the human contact named Callen with her, and not eating him was aggravating.

"Wait here," she commanded.

Taking the keys, Natalie hopped out of the SUV and made her way to the house. The doors to the cabin were never locked. Any human, Moroi, or dhampir who happened upon the cabin by chance would never leave. Any Strigoi who entered the cabin did so by invitation of Sofia. No one crossed Sofia- at least no Strigoi in North America dared.

Natalie kicked snow off her boots as she entered the cabin. Low light illuminated the small entryway. The light was for the human servants, not for their Strigoi mistress. Natalie slipped on house shoes which rested on shelf near the inner door. Tracking snow into the house would annoy Sofia, and the news of Isaiah's death would annoy her enough as it was.

Natalie walked into the house. The halls were quiet, as usual. The floor and walls were all high-quality wood which was polished and pristine. It was a cabin fit for royalty, which Sofia had been once.

A portrait of Sofia hung at the end of one corridor. It was a painting commissioned by Sofia's parents upon the occasion of her betrothal to a Dragomir lord, two hundred years ago. Natalie walked by the image of Sofia, looking at the girl who had once been. She had been lovely, a Moroi girl with bright blue eyes and golden blonde hair.

Natalie found Sofia in the ossuary. The ossuary was almost a shrine for Sofia. She placed bones along the walls, ceiling, and floor of that room like was done in some European monasteries and cathedrals. The bones had all come from Sofia's victims. She cleaned their bones and turned them into macabre works of art.

Sofia looked up from the chair where she was lounging, reading a book. Her hair was dyed pink, tumbling around her shoulders. She wore jeans and a pink sweater. Given that Sofia was barely over five feet tall, and had been Awakened at seventeen, she looked like a young girl.

Sofia set aside her book, expression unreadable. "What news do you have for me?"

"Isaiah and Elena are dead. Some young dhampirs killed them in Spokane. I brought Callen, so he can give you his report. He's still in the car."

"A pity." She looked toward the doorway. "Vera!" A human woman in her thirties soon appeared at the door. "There is a guest in the car, a servant to me, please escort him to a guest room."

Without ever raising her eyes, the woman answered Sofia. "Yes, mistress."

"Dismissed."

The human turned, leaving without a word. Natalie stared after her, hungry.

"You will eat soon. First, I need to talk to you."

Swallowing, Natalie turned back to Sofia. "What do you wish to know?"

"How did you escape from your school? You had to cross the wards."

"My father broke the wards. He used offensive magic on the ward, an earthquake. It split the ground and shattered the ward. We escaped in a car he had waiting nearby."

Sofia stood. She ran a delicate hand along a skull which rested on a pedestal. Natalie wondered whose skull it had been, but she had never asked. It had been a Strigoi, given the length of the fangs.

"Interesting." She turned to Natalie. "Isaiah's ambition was to hurt the royal families. He was lowborn, so I can understand his anger."

"You were royal," Natalie commented.

"Yes, so were many of our kind who participated in the feasts. I do not share Isaiah's ambitions. I do have other ideas. I want you to continue your regular tests of the school's wards. I believe that our recently departed colleague was thinking too small."

"You want to attack the school?"

"Such things have been done before, though not for many decades. The World Wars were helpful for such attacks. Now that communications have improved around the world, it may be time to try again. Now go, eat. I have work to do."

With a quick nod, Natalie left Sofia. She walked through the corridors until she came to the dining hall. It was locked, as usual. Natalie picked up the key from a hook beside the door and unlocked it. She pocketed the key before entering.

The dining hall was a large room where humans were kept for Sofia and her colleagues. Thin mattresses lay along one wall. A screened off bathroom was at the far end of the room. The room was very clean, just like the rest of the cabin. Sofia could not abide filth.

Four humans were in the room. They looked fearfully at Natalie. One was an elderly man. The next two were a man and a woman who appeared to be in their late teens or early twenties. The fourth was a child, at most ten years old. They sat on their mattresses, wrapped in blankets.

"Which of you wants to die today?" Natalie asked.

The child whimpered. The elderly man and the woman cowered against the wall, clutching their blankets close. The younger man simply stared blankly at her. Natalie chose him. She walked to the man, kneeling on the bed in front of him.

"It won't hurt, I promise. Now stay still." Her voice compelled him to obey. She pounced on him, burying her face against his neck. Her teeth sank deep into his flesh. He struggled briefly before giving up. Hot blood-filled Natalie's mouth. She drank deeply from him, feeling his life essence drain away. She could stop. She could savor him again and again if she allowed him to live. She didn't stop.

When the man lay dead on his mattress, Natalie wiped her lips with the sleeve of his shirt. She looked at the others. "It will be your turn soon enough. I'll make sure your dinner comes soon."

They cried out in horror, fear, and disgust. The woman vomited. The child ran to the other side of the room. Natalie thought they were pathetic. She left the room, locking it behind her. She sent for one of Sofia's servants to clean up the mess before going to her room.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Originally, Rose and Dimitri were only going to have their first kiss in this chapter... :shrug: I figured that it made sense given their high emotions and the fact that the two times they have sex in the books it was rather spur of the moment. And while I know that most of you would have loved for the chapter to end on a happy note, that is not the nature of this story._

 _This chapter is, as the name suggests, the beginning of part two of the story (out of 3 parts)._

 _You've now (finally) met every major character except Abe and a few minor/supporting characters that appear down the road._

 _I'm probably skipping next week. I'm fighting with a couple chapters for this story and want to attempt to get the next chapter of either Everyday Moments or my A Song of Ice and Fire fic done._

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting. You make me smile._

 _Critiques are welcomed :)_


	16. Training

Before breakfast on Sunday, the guardians gathered. Rose and Mason stood in a large room in the guardians' main building on campus. Rose wore her long, nearly black hair in a bun so that it would be out of the way for the tattooist. She and Mason would receive their marks that day.

All the guardians on campus who weren't on patrol duty gathered in the room. Rose felt the solemnity of the moment as she and Mason were surrounded by their future colleagues. Her mother was there, as were Dimitri and Brandon. She was glad that they were there, though it also made her feel exposed.

Rose and Dimitri had talked a lot after their tryst the other day. Dimitri had told Rose that her mother wasn't opposed to them pursuing a relationship. It felt surreal to Rose that she was with Dimitri. They were keeping it private for the moment, even from their friends. Rose wondered how long she would be able to hide her feelings. She loved Dimitri, and she didn't think that she would be able to disguise it all the time.

For now though, in the midst of the gathered guardians, Rose could control her feelings. She was still stunned by the fact that she was receiving a molnija mark. She was still managing her feelings about killing. It was strange to think that every mark stood for an individual Strigoi. Rose's mother had dozens of marks. The gathered guardians had a collective number in the hundreds. Hundreds of lives- Moroi, dhampir, and human- all lost.

There wasn't any fanfare. Alberta Petrov spoke briefly about the battle Rose and Mason had fought, mentioning Eddie's participation. Eddie had been allowed to attend the ceremony, though no other novices were in attendance.

As Alberta prepared to speak, the guardians fell into orderly lines in the room. Eddie took a place beside Dimitri, Brandon, Celeste, and the four Dragomir guardians. Alberta joined the ranks when she finished speaking.

At the front of the room was a stool. Mason sat on it first. A campus guardian gave him the mark. Rose watched quietly, mentally preparing herself for the pain of the tattoo she would soon receive. When the tattooist was done with Mason, he and Rose switched places. She clenched her teeth as the needle marked her skin. When the tattooist was done, Rose stood.

Rose and Mason took places at the front of the room. One by one the guardians spoke to them. No one offered congratulations, not even Eddie. The moment was solemn, and taking a life was never a matter of celebration. With many hugs and words of encouragement, the line of guardians passed them.

Janine touched Rose's cheek, unable to speak for a moment. "Remember this."

Rose nodded, biting her lip to hold back her emotions. "I will," she promised.

Celeste hugged Rose. "Martins would be proud of you."

Rose lowered her head when Celeste pulled away, quickly brushing away her tears and hiding the sob that escaped her lips.

Brandon also hugged her. "It will get easier."

Rose reigned in her emotions, nodding.

Dimitri was next. He squeezed her shoulder, holding her gaze. He didn't speak, but she knew what he was thinking. He was glad that she was still alive. She nodded slowly, and he let go.

Eddie also hugged her. "You earned this."

She looked at him as he pulled back, shaking her head. "You saved my life." She touched the back of her neck gingerly. "I'll always remember what you did."

"That's what partners do," he replied before stepping away.

Frank Linden, Daniel Bellamy, Vincent Addison, and David Smith- the four Dragomir guardians- were next. Frank and Daniel had known Rose since she was a young girl. David had grown up with her. Vincent had only known Rose since being assigned to Andre, but they were friendly with one another.

"You'll be part of our team soon," Frank said. "It will be a privilege to have you working with us."

"I almost got Jill killed," Rose whispered.

"We all make mistakes," Daniel said. "Learning from them is what matters."

Rose nodded. "I've learned."

"Then we look forward to working with you," said Vincent.

Frank hugged her. Vincent and Daniel shook her hand. David wrapped her in a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry," Rose whispered in his ear before he could say anything.

He pulled back a little, still holding her. His eyes were a bit misty, but he held his emotions in check. "It's okay, heartbreaker. We're just glad that everyone made it back in one piece."

"I used you."

He gave a wry laugh. "That's why I call you heartbreaker."

She bit back her laughter and smiled at him. He released her, moving on to shake Mason's hand.

When everyone was done speaking to Rose and Mason, they got food at a buffet table in the next room. Rose found a place to stand along the wall and picked at her food. She should be hungry, but the weight of the ceremony stole her appetite. She also knew that as soon as she left the room, she was technically supposed to go to her room for the rest of the day. She would probably escape for a little while to say goodbye to the Dragomirs though.

Janine joined Rose. She also picked at her food in silence.

"I always thought it would be glamorous to have marks. I thought it was something to be proud of, something guardians were eager to get. I thought there was glory in them." Rose's words were bitter. She looked at her mother. "I was wrong."

Janine smiled sadly. "I thought that way when I was your age too."

"Do you remember them all? The Strigoi?"

"No."

"Does it get easier?"

Janine looked away, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I wish I could tell you it does."

"It's important though."

"Very."

They lapsed into silence, standing side by side. Others talked to them from time to time, but most left them alone.

"I'll be leaving later today," Janine said.

"I know." Rose took a deep breath. Things had changed between her and her mother. They were closer now than they had been for a very long time. "Will you come see me?"

Janine looked at Rose, smiling a little. "I'll try to see you when you're on Easter break. If not, I will definitely be here for your graduation."

Rose nodded thoughtfully.

"I promise to write to you," Janine added.

Rose smiled. "Thank you." She glanced around. Her eyes met Dimitri's across the room for a moment. Seeing that no one was nearby, she spoke in a hushed voice to her mother. "Did you really say it's okay for me and Dimitri to be together?"

Janine arched an eyebrow and glanced toward Dimitri before focusing again on her daughter. "No, I said that I didn't have the right to give anyone that permission. I told him not to hurt you, and that I trust him with you."

Rose started grinning. "Really?"

"Yes."

Rose hugged her mother. Janine was startled, but a moment later she hugged Rose back. "I love you, Rose. Please be safe."

Rose pulled away. "I will. You do the same."

"I'll do my best," Janine promised.

* * *

After a farewell lunch with the Dragomirs, Rose was returned to her room by her mother. Janine left her there, promising again to stay in touch. Rose settled on her bed, ready to be bored until dinner. She could deal with a few hours alone. She could clean her room- it needed done. She also still needed time to process everything that had happened over the past few days.

Running to Spokane had been an impulsive and dumb decision, but she had thought that they would be fine. Rose never thought that they would really encounter Strigoi. She had thought that they would just go, look around, and come back before the sun set again- nice, easy, safe. She had also underestimated just how fast and strong Strigoi were.

But how had the Strigoi known where to find them? Had they been watched? Followed?

She supposed that "how" didn't really matter now. All that mattered was that she and her friends never behave so recklessly again. Rose wouldn't. She would keep her friends and loved ones safe and never lead them into danger again.

A knock on her door broke Rose away from her thoughts. She went to it, confused that anyone would be there. Opening it, she found Mason standing on the other side.

"What are you thinking?"

He shrugged, walking into the room. She shut the door behind him. "That I wanted to talk to you and there's not much else they can do to punish me right now."

"Expel you."

"Expel one of the only two novices with a mark?" Mason shook his head. "They wouldn't do that. They might add another month onto my punishment though."

"And mine if they catch us in here." She stood with her arms crossed, a bit annoyed. "What do you want to talk about?"

He took a seat on her desk chair. "I feel like we haven't had the chance to talk since the other day."

It occurred to Rose that she had been very confused only a week before about her feelings and emotions. She and Mason had kissed and then avoided talking about it. Well, Rose had avoided talking about it, and Mason had respected her distance. "Yeah, I needed time to think and then we went out to slay monsters… weird week." She gave an uncomfortable laugh, taking a seat on her bed.

He laughed with her. "Definitely." He quieted again, becoming thoughtful and serious. "I just wanted to be sure where we stand. I have a pretty good idea, but I wanted us to actually talk about it."

Rose looked at her hands. She had known Mason almost her entire life. He was in some of her earliest memories. She loved him. She had been in love with him once. Though he hadn't been her first kiss, he had been her first in almost every other way. But things had changed, and Rose was in love with someone new. Mason would always have a special place in her heart but not the one he used to hold. She looked up at him.

"I want us to be friends. Kissing you again was fun, but it wasn't like it was before. I think we're better as friends than as a couple. I know it's awkward and weird for us to be friends, but I hated the months we spent not talking and don't want to lose you as a friend."

He smiled, a bit sadly. "That's what I thought. It's fine. I don't want to lose you as a friend either."

"We've had this conversation before."

"Yeah, but not since we kissed again. I just wanted to- I don't know- be on the same page?" He gave her a tentative smile, which she mirrored.

"I think we are."

They stood. "Well, I should sneak back to my room before we're caught and expelled."

She laughed, hugging him. "Good plan."

He hugged her tight. For a moment, Rose closed her eyes. Mason's presence was still a comfort to her, still a peaceful anchor. And she was glad that he was still in her life, even if they were only friends. They let go, and he left her room.

Rose spent the rest of the day cleaning. She kept her door open, occasionally talking down the hallway to Meredith. It wasn't the most exciting day she had ever had, and the thought of spending every day in her room for the next month sounded like misery. Not that she disagreed with the punishment. She thought that she deserved to be punished for endangering Jill's life.

Dimitri retrieved her after dinner for training.

"Two months of this?" Rose complained as they walked from the commons to guest housing.

"You're only on the first day of your punishment." He looked at her with one eyebrow arched. "You spent the beginning of the day at your molnija ceremony. You said goodbye to the Dragomirs after lunch, and I know that you and your friends in the dorm are probably already breaking the rules by talking to each other when you're supposed to be in your rooms."

Rose looked away, hiding her smile. "I'll admit nothing. Do you know, cell phones and email are great ways of talking to people?"

He muttered under his breath in Russian.

"I don't speak that language, comrade," she complained.

"I know." He continued after she glared at him for a few moments. "I know that you understand the seriousness of the situation, but you still find ways to avoid your punishments."

Rose stopped walking, looking down. "The fact that I failed Jill is worse than any punishment the school could give me. She lost her innocence. She nearly killed a person. And she lost her boyfriend, though they're still talking as far as I know. I love her like a little sister, and I failed her. She forgives me, but I will never forgive myself."

Dimitri squeezed Rose's shoulder. "I know. Come on, it's time to gather the spirit users."

They continued walking. Rose spoke again as they walked. "Dating you without free time isn't fun either."

"I agree."

She lowered her voice to sound more enticing. "And waiting after the other day is torture."

He swore quietly in Russian.

She grinned coyly at him.

"You're wicked," he said.

"I try."

"I don't think you try very hard."

She laughed. "You're just easy to tease now that I know your weaknesses."

"You don't know them all."

"So, find time for me to learn them."

They stopped walking long enough to share a long look. Rose shivered, looking away first. She began walking faster to calm herself. Dimitri laughed behind her as they walked.

Only Ivan was in the apartment when they arrived. Rose took off her coat when she entered and hung it on a hook. Dimitri lightly brushed his hand along her lower back. Ivan, entering from the other room, caught the gesture. He looked between Rose and Dimitri curiously.

"Interesting," Ivan commented.

"What?" Rose asked.

Ivan grinned, looking between them. "I missed something by being away at the lodge when I left you behind, didn't I?"

Dimitri shrugged nonchalantly, taking of his coat. Rose tried to hide her reaction but failed to suppress her grin.

"We were planning to keep it private," Dimitri admitted.

"A good plan," Ivan replied. "I won't tell a soul."

"Thank you," Rose said.

Ivan laughed. "I've been trying to hook you two up for a while now. No point in spoiling a good thing."

Rose smiled, looking from Ivan to Dimitri. "It is a _really_ good thing." She pulled her gaze from Dimitri to Ivan. "How do you deal with not seeing Tasha for weeks or months at a time?"

"Patience is a virtue," Ivan said sagely.

Rose rolled her eyes. Looking around, she turned to Dimitri. "You know, the others aren't here yet."

Ivan laughed. "Go, hurry."

Rose grinned at Dimitri and began walking backward toward his room. Dimitri grabbed her arm, pulling her quickly toward his door. The bedrooms and bathroom were down a hall off the living room. Dimitri's room was the second door on the right.

Dimitri pulled Rose into his room, shutting the door behind them. His lips found hers. For a few moments, they lost themselves in hungry kisses.

They tumbled onto the bed, thoroughly absorbed with one another. Rose pulled back a little, laughing.

"What?"

She brushed strands of his hair behind an ear. "I love you. And it feels like we're getting away with something."

He laughed with her, kissing her. "I love you too, and we are."

They were about to kiss again when Dimitri paused, frowning at the message Ivan sent. Rose was about to ask what was wrong when she felt Lissa nearby.

"Lissa's at the door," Rose sighed.

Slowly, they stood. They smoothed their hair and clothes, checking in the mirror that nothing was amiss. They stole one more kiss before leaving his room.

Rose and Dimitri walked to opposite sides of the room. Lissa and Christian glanced curiously at them but didn't question it. A short time later, Sonya arrived. Adrian arrived after Sonya, even though his room was only a few doors away.

Lissa, Adrian, Ivan, and Sonya asked one another many questions. Rose, Dimitri, and Christian listened as the four spirit users talked. It was an enlightening session.

All four had developed their abilities differently. Each had a stronger talent than the others. Each had developed a different ability first. Lissa had learned healing first, manifesting it by accident toward an injured animal. Ivan had learned telekinesis first. Adrian had learned to walk in dreams when idly thinking about a girl he liked as a young teen. Sonya had seen auras first, then learned to heal plants.

Sonya, the oldest of the four, had control over the most abilities. Experimenting with her abilities too often had led to her madness. It had been diagnosed as schizophrenia, a side effect of spirit's darkness in her. Lissa's darkness manifested as depression. Adrian claimed that he was totally fine. (No one believed this because they saw the liquor and cigarettes he used to cope.) Ivan's darkness manifested as mania- leading to sleepless nights, reckless impulsivity, and thoughts that would not stop racing.

Christian grew bored while listening to the spirit users, but Rose and Dimitri both engaged in the conversation. They shared details of being shadow kissed that Adrian and Sonya didn't know. After an hour, Dimitri escorted Rose back to her dorm. Too many people were still walking around for them to say more than a quick 'good night' at the door to her dorm.

* * *

For the first several days of the semester, Rose and Mason were surrounded at mealtimes by classmates eager to see their marks and hear about the battle in Spokane. Once the novelty of having two novices with molnija marks passed, Rose and Mason lost most of their fan club. After all, celebrity students who are only around for classes and meals aren't much fun. Eddie had a similar rise and fall in his status.

Mason, Eddie, and Meredith grew bored of their punishment by the end of the first week. Wasn't guilt and having faced great peril enough punishment? The fact that they would be in lockdown until the end of February seemed cruel.

Jill's repercussions for having run away to Spokane included seeing her counselor every other day. She had seen the school counselor before, for the year after her parents had been killed. Lissa saw the other school counselor for her depression.

Jill liked the counselor, but she didn't feel like talking. What was there to say? She didn't regret her decisions. She didn't regret her words. Her only pain was being separated from Evan. He wrote emails to her and she wrote emails to him. They missed and loved each other.

Rose quickly learned that a secret relationship was difficult. The fact that her only alone time with Dimitri was their training sessions didn't help matters. He made her train. They sparred, ran laps, and worked on her control of her shadow kissed abilities.

Rose wanted to train. Now that she understood the real terror of Strigoi, she wanted to be a better fighter. She wanted to be able to kill even the fastest Strigoi. She wanted to know that if she faced an old Strigoi again, she wouldn't need help killing it.

She also wanted to spend time with Dimitri now that they were together. She loved him. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to kiss him and cuddle him and lose herself in him.

Not that they didn't find time for kissing and wandering hands. When they were at the edge of the wards, after practicing her control over the ghosts, he would kiss her. They were alone in those moments. Just Rose and Dimitri standing in the snow. It was hardly enough, but it was still a moment of freedom for them both.

At the end of the first week, Rose thought that she would go crazy from the amount of time spent in her room. Time spent with her friends and Dimitri at lunch or during training sessions always passed too quickly. Emails and talking down the hall to Meredith and Ivy helped but were not enough to ease her boredom.

She was relieved when Dimitri took her outside to train on Saturday. They ran laps around the track. The air was cold and crisp, biting their cheeks and burning their lungs. Afterward, they walked toward the wards. They walked through the woods, crossing into a clearing where the wards ended. She cringed before they stepped through.

"Is it getting easier?" Dimitri asked.

"Yes," Rose admitted, "but I don't like how it feels."

"Does it still feel like a migraine?"

Rose took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "No. It's like a dull hum in my head."

"Good. Can you feel Lissa?"

Rose smiled a little. "She's in the library with Christian. She wants to study, but he's distracting her."

"Good."

"You think it's good that he's distracting her?" she quipped.

Dimitri sighed heavily. "It's good that you can sense her thoughts while outside the wards."

She flashed him a playful smile before becoming serious again. "Do you want me to lower my defenses?"

"Not today. Today I want you to get used to the sensation. It will always be with you when you're outside of the wards. When you guard her at college, you will have to be used to it."

Rose nodded. She was quiet for a bit before talking again. "Do you think it's weird that there are so many ghosts?"

"I never thought about it." He looked around, eyes scanning the unwarded area. "Sometimes I wonder about what happens after death. You and I were both dead, but we came back with no memory of it. I believe that something must happen to us when we die, the ghosts are proof of it for me."

"Yeah, but we don't know what. And some of the dead stay stuck here, invisible to everyone but the shadow kissed."

"There are legends in many places that speak of ghosts being the spirits of people who died with unfinished business. They're probably waiting for something to happen in order to be at rest."

"What if that never happens?"

"I don't know."

Rose looked out across the field, thinking of the ghosts she had seen over the past week. There was so much to the world and to life that she didn't understand. What was the meaning of life and death? Was there a meaning? Rose believed that people had souls, but she didn't know what else she believed.

"Maybe we aren't meant to understand it all. I didn't see Guardian Martins with the ghosts, so maybe he's wherever we go next."

Dimitri gave her a small smile. "Maybe he is."

"Celeste told me that he'd be proud of me."

"I think she's right. From what I've heard about him, he cared a lot for all the students here. He was your mentor, and mentors tend to form close bonds with their charges."

She laughed. "Some closer than others."

"Yes, though I wouldn't say that our situation is common."

She looked up at him until he kissed her softly. "Probably." They pulled apart so that they could watch the area for possible threats. "Were you close with your mentor?"

Dimitri was quiet. Rose had expected a quick answer, but when she looked up at him, he was strangely distant.

"What's wrong?"

He looked at her, grim and sad. "She was very dear to me. She helped me through some very rough times, and I was glad to be mentored by her."

"What happened?"

"She was turned into a Strigoi a few years ago in Prague."

Rose gasped. "I'm so sorry."

He nodded, looking away to scan the area. "I try not to think about it. Galina was there for me when no one else was. I want to remember her as a guardian, not as a monster."

Rose nodded. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a friend turned into a Strigoi. She didn't know what she would do if it happened to Lissa or Christian or Eddie or Mason or Meredith or Ivan or any of her other friends. The thought of it happening to Dimitri was too hard to even consider.

Then Rose remembered Natalie Dashkov. Natalie was a Strigoi. She was somewhere in the world, killing.

Rose looked at the darkness beyond her eyesight. There were no wards of protection in the wilderness beyond the academy. Out here the monsters could lurk.

Rose shuddered. "Can we go back?"

"Yes," he said quietly.

They walked together through the woods back to campus. He led her along a different trail, one which led to a cabin with a frozen pond beside it.

"What's this?" she asked.

He smiled at her, opening the door to the cabin. It was warmer inside, though not by much. Dimitri turned on a small electric heater. "It used to be a station for guardians. Since the numbers of guardians have decreased, it isn't used anymore." He hooked a latch on the inside of the door. "I thought that we could come here after training on weekends."

She grinned at him, slipping out of her coat. She laid it on a rickety wooden chair. "I like that plan."

She surveyed the room. A fireplace stood at one end of the room. A small bed was in the middle of the room with two quilts on it. Shelves lined one wall, though only a few flashlights and first aid kits were on them. A door to one side led to a small room with a toilet and sink. She took a seat on the bed, watching as he removed his own coat.

He sat beside her, and she leaned against him. He wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"What do you think?"

She snuggled close to him. "That I still can't believe we're together." She rested her arms on his, lacing their fingers together. He squeezed her close, and she sighed happily. "I hate keeping this a secret."

"Have you told Lissa?"

"Nope. We've barely had alone time. We text, but you and I agreed that we probably shouldn't have this in writing. Is Ivan keeping his mouth shut?"

"Yes. Brandon has his suspicions, but he hasn't said anything."

"And you're sure about this?"

He shifted so that he could face her. He brushed her lips with his, feather light. "Yes."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him. It was a slow kiss, full of love and longing. She rested her forehead against his when they stopped.

"You're not overthinking it yet?"

He chuckled, brushing her hair behind one of her ears. "Of course I am, but I'm trying to live in the present. Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us. So, I will stop worrying about tomorrow, at least for now."

He kissed her again, harder this time. Their kisses quickly grew in intensity. She let her fingers roam under his shirt. She touched his skin, marveling at the softness of his skin over firm muscles.

They moved quickly, touching and undressing one another with hurried movements. They both got tangled in clothing in their haste. Dimitri slid his fingers across her skin. She was soft and warm and beautiful. He pushed away the doubts and worries he had about their relationship, focusing on her and this moment.

When they finished, they lay under the quilts together. Dimitri told himself to stay in the moment, to just enjoy being with the woman he loved. Even so, the doubts crept inside. He knew they could make a relationship work while at the academy, but he didn't know how long it would last. After June, they would separate. Dimitri would follow Ivan and Rose would follow Lissa. They might spend months apart with only a few days together. He knew that she didn't understand what it would be like after graduating. He loved her lack of doubt. He loved her belief that love was enough to make anything work.

"I love you," she said. They lay on their sides, face to face. She brushed hair from his cheek.

"я люблю тебя. I love you," he said in Russian and English.

She tried to repeat the Russian words but failed miserably. He laughed, kissing her gently. "Do you want to learn Russian?"

"I want to know what you're saying when we're together."

He leaned toward her ear, whispering the words he muttered in the heat of passion, translating them for her. He kept going until she kissed him, and they once again forgot the world.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _So, I don't usually address anonymous reviews, even though I read them (because I don't like long comment sections). However, I wanted to respond to the one I got for the last chapter because it bugged me. It mentioned that Rose hadn't been in love before. Rose was in love before in this story, with Mason. She had a reputation, just like in canon, but she was only ever in one serious relationship- with Mason. It was mentioned in multiple chapters and implied that they had sex. Rose not being a virgin had nothing to do with having Rose and Dimitri move fast (they move fast in canon). It had everything to do with her complicated friendship with Mason. It's not out of character for her to have fallen in love with someone and for them to have had sex (even at 16/17). It would be out of character if I had said there were multiple guys, there weren't. Something I haven't even written in yet (and might never if it doesn't fit) is that after Andre got Mia pregnant, Rose avoided Moroi guys completely._

 _I'm going to post every other week for a while to keep up on this project and to finish of two others. (sorry)_

 _I also created a facebook site, at the suggestion of ginabowman2005, but I don't have anything on it yet. I'll post images from the area that could relate to the world of VA, or that I think are cool. It's an easier way of interacting than tumblr, which I mentioned the other week. I'll probably have some stuff up by the next chapter!_

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting. You make me smile._

 _Critiques are welcomed :)_


	17. Pressure

Natalie Dashkov raced through the forests near St. Vladimir's Academy. January and February brought snow, which made observing the campus without leaving a trace difficult. The forests were the easiest way to approach the wards without the danger of being seen. Natalie went with Dahlia and Greg. Two would run the campus in separate directions while the third would wait with the car. The runners checked the wards for weaknesses and gaps.

Natalie made it back to the SUV at the same time that Dahlia approached from the other direction.

"I hate snow," Dahlia complained. She kicked snow off her boots as she climbed into the SUV.

"And yet, you live in Montana," Greg commented.

"That's what happens when you sell your soul to the devil." She slid into the SUV's passenger seat while the others got into the car. Dahlia continued when everyone was settled. "I'd rather work for Sofia and live in the snow than manage in a different region."

"She Awakened you, right?" Natalie asked from the back seat.

"Yeah. I was just a human when she found me. Ten years as a servant and my contract was fulfilled."

"That's how it was for me too," said Greg.

"How does she decide who to keep as a servant and who to eat?" Natalie asked. Until running into Sofia and her followers, Natalie had simply eaten her prey. Growing up as a Moroi, she had assumed that was the norm for Strigoi.

"Usefulness," Dahlia replied. "I was a social worker, so I was able to give her the kids no one noticed. That human you met in Spokane is a cop, so he's useful too."

Natalie's nose wrinkled a little at the mention of the kids. For some reason that Natalie couldn't comprehend, Sofia preferred eating children. Natalie didn't have a preference for age, but there was little sport in hunting children. She thought it looked weak, but who was she to question a two-century old Strigoi? "What were you?" she asked Greg.

"A man of business," he replied with some humor.

Dahlia snorted. "Drug dealer. You were a drug dealer."

"And a carpenter. Are you judging my former profession when you were a user?"

"No," she told him with false sweetness. "Of course not." Dahlia turned to look at Natalie. "You ever drink from someone who's high?"

"No, what does that do?"

Dahlia sighed in ecstasy. "It's better than sex. You get their life and their high."

Natalie had no idea what sex was like, but she assumed it was pleasurable from what everyone said.

"You're making me hungry," Greg complained, "and we don't have time to stop today, unless you two learned something useful?"

"The wards are weakening at uneven intervals," Dahlia replied.

"They're strengthening the wards every two weeks," Natalie continued, "but they're wearing down way faster than they should. If we come on a day when the wards are weak, shattering them shouldn't be hard. We just need the right resources to shatter the wards."

"Sofia can take care of that," Greg replied, "and with this information, I think we have time to hunt today without risking her wrath."

* * *

The senior class novices met before breakfast in the school's gym on the day assignments for field experience were given. After every assignment was given, they would go to breakfast, and their two-month field experience would begin. They would be with their assigned Moroi student every day of the week, except for Sundays. They would follow them to classes during the day and sleep in the same room as their Moroi at night.

Rose ran to the gym, eager to escape her punishment. She expected to be assigned to Lissa. She was going to be Lissa's guardian after graduation- everyone knew it. She took a seat with Mason, Eddie, and Meredith. They had taken to sitting together at mealtimes and during lectures. On top of their two-month punishment, they had all become much more dedicated to training. Their devotion to training had put them at the top of their class in combat scores- beating their classmates consistently. But their dedication and punishment had isolated them from the other novices.

"Who do you think you'll get?" Eddie whispered to Mason.

"Don't know. They're all random. I think."

Eddie disagreed. "They can't be random. The teachers assign them."

Mason shrugged. "I don't know."

"You're lucky to be first," Meredith said. She looked at Rose. "And you get your best friend- no more lock down."

Rose grinned. She felt a little guilty that she had been able to escape some of her punishment by spending time on the weekends with Dimitri. She was also glad that her friendship with Mason now felt normal. The memories and feelings of their past had faded into fondness. Life was practically perfect.

"Yeah, that's true. I don't think they'll give you guys anyone awful though."

Eddie wasn't so certain. "We're on a two-month punishment, why not make it worse?"

They all cringed at the thought of being stuck with someone they hated for the next two months. Before any of them spoke again, Alberta Petrov addressed the room. She and Guardian Alto talked about the importance of the field experience, what was expected of the novices, and how the schedule would work. All the novices listened with eager anticipation when they finished giving the final instructions.

"Okay," Alberta said. "I'm going to call out your names one by one and announce who you're paired with. At that time, come down here to the floor, and Guardian Chase will give you a packet containing information about your Moroi's schedule, past, etcetera."

All the novices sat a little straighter. Mason drew in a deep breath.

"Mason Ashford, Vasilisa Dragomir."

Gasps echoed in the gym, followed by whispers and stares. Mason swallowed, looking at Rose briefly before standing. He walked to the front of the room and accepted the packet. He took a seat on the opposite set of bleachers, where the students would all sit after getting their packets. He kept looking from his packet to Rose.

Rose could feel the stares of her classmates. Her brain had stopped working. Why had Mason been assigned to Lissa? It had to be a mistake.

The rest of their classmates were called one by one. Rose watched without really hearing or comprehending what was going on. Eventually, her own name was called.

"Rosemarie Hathaway, Christian Ozera."

Rose didn't move. Ivy pushed Rose from behind. "Hey, it's your turn."

"Rose Hathaway?" Alberta repeated.

Numbly and with a growing spark of anger, Rose stood. She walked to the front, collected her folder, and took a seat on the opposite side of the room with everyone who had a packet.

"What are they thinking?" Rose hissed.

"I don't know," Mason whispered. "You're going to be her guardian after graduation, right?"

"Yeah, Eric told me I was when we got here after Spokane. Lissa said she still wants me too." Rose glared at the guardians who were at the center of the room.

"Hey," Meredith whispered. "We're still being punished, remember? Be careful."

Rose drew a shaking breath and nodded. She waited until all the students had been called. They were dismissed from the room, but Rose and a few others had questions. Rose waited until the others were walking away. Her expression was stormy.

Alberta, Guardian Alto, and Celeste looked at Rose. They were regarding her as if they had anticipated her protest.

"Why am I with Christian?" She practically shouted the question, causing many of her classmates to watch. Mason and Eddie were lingering close by.

Alberta's reply was calm and crisp. "You are with Mister Ozera, because that is who you have been assigned."

"Why? I'm going to be Lissa's guardian. Her dad even says so."

Alberta drew a deep breath, letting it out with an edge of exasperation. "Prince Dragomir's desire for you to guard his daughter after graduation does not have any bearing on your assignments here at school. You were assigned to Christian Ozera, not Vasilisa. You will do your assignment, or you will not pass your field experience."

Celeste spoke before Rose could launch into a further protest. "When you are assigned to the Dragomirs, there is a chance that you could guard any of them if needed. You could guard Prince Eric, Lady Rhea, Lord Andre, or any of the others in their family. You will likely be at court on a regular basis, which would also mean that you will have other duties which go beyond guarding Lissa and her family. Think of this as training for the future when you will be responsible for more than just the safety of your best friend."

Rose drew a deep breath. What Celeste was saying made sense, but she was still angry with the assignment. "So you assigned Mason to guard Lissa?"

Nearby, Mason flinched.

"Do you think that you'll have a choice in your guarding partner when you graduate?" asked Stan.

"No." Rose clenched her jaw, gritting her teeth. She wanted to yell at them. She hated that they were right.

Stan continued. "Your guarding partner is chosen by the council. Your Moroi can request a change, but it will not be up to you. We noticed that you and Mister Ashford were not speaking or interacting for months. While we have noticed an improvement, we also believe that this is a growing opportunity for both of you."

"Growing opportunity?" Rose and Mason echoed.

Alberta's stern expression softened a fraction. "Guardians do not have the luxury of being uncomfortable with their fellow guardians. You need to learn to work together with any other guardian, in danger or in peace. Now go to breakfast and find your assigned Moroi."

Rose wanted to protest, but she knew that it was pointless. She turned and walked away. Eddie and Mason walked with her.

"So you're going to be working together," said Eddie.

Rose and Mason exchanged a look. "I guess so," Mason replied. After a pause, he smiled. "You know we'll be a great team. We're the only students here that actually fought Strigoi."

Rose and Eddie also smiled. "Yeah," she said, "which means they'll go harder on us when we're tested. Who'd you get anyway?" she was looking at Eddie.

"Wow you were really thrown off."

She rolled her eyes. "Just answer."

"Mark Drozdov. Not a bad assignment, but I don't know him well. I think he's friends with Christian?"

"Yeah, he is," Rose confirmed. "So we might all get time to hang out. It will be better than lock down. Who did Meredith get?"

Both guys laughed. "She's got Abby Badica," Mason replied. "I have never seen you this thrown off before."

"Because it's never happened. How could I anticipate this?" She groaned, still unhappy even though the guys had lightened her mood a little.

"Well, at least I'll finally get to see some of the top-secret spirit training," Mason said.

Rose stopped dead in her tracks. The spirit users still trained in Ivan's apartment because it was the largest private space available to the group. They could reserve classrooms, but they all liked the apartment more. Meeting there had also given Rose and Dimitri time to disappear to his room for a few minutes every time the group met. Rose realized that it would have to stop during the field experience, and that Mason would now be around.

"Yeah," she managed weakly. "I think you'll find it interesting."

* * *

Lissa felt Rose approaching the cafeteria before she entered. It was still strange to Lissa how aware they had become of one another since they started training with Ivan and Dimitri. Spirit was no longer a terrifying part of her that she didn't understand. It had become a powerful tool that she and her friends could shape. Lissa's shadow kissed bond with Rose had also become helpful instead of harmful.

'Come talk to me,' Lissa sent. 'I have a donut for you.'

Rose entered a moment later with Mason and Eddie. She made her way to Lissa while the guys went to get food. Lissa held the donut out to Rose. She took it gratefully, biting into it as she sat on the bench beside Lissa.

Rose took a few bites in silence.

"I heard that you got Christian and Mason got me."

Rose made a face, sighing. "Yeah. I wanted to be with you. I'm going to be with you after we graduate."

"So why did they do it?"

"Long story, but mostly because you won't be my only responsibility. I also need to learn to work with everyone, including my ex-boyfriend."

"You've been getting along lately."

"Yes, but…" Rose hesitated. She hadn't told Lissa that she was with Dimitri yet. So far, only Ivan knew. Rose lowered her voice. "I have a boyfriend."

"What? When? Who?"

Afraid of being overheard, Rose whispered in Lissa's ear. "Dimitri."

Lissa's eyes went wide. She asked a string of questions in her mind, too fast for Rose to answer. She slowed her thoughts, sending them one at a time. 'Since when?'

"New Year's Day."

Lissa's eyes widened. 'Really?'

Rose nodded.

Christian sat with them, having come from the feeders. "You're talking in your bond again?"

"Yeah," Rose said. "It's important. Oh, I'm also your guardian for the next two months."

"I heard. I also heard that Mason is Lissa's guardian and you were yelling about it."

Rose grimaced. "I wasn't yelling, but yeah, I'm not happy. You wouldn't be happy in my situation either."

"Oh!" Lissa gasped. She just connected the thoughts about Rose and Dimitri with Mason being around more.

"What?" asked Christian.

"Um, it's between Rose and I, sorry." Lissa looked from Christian to Rose. She spoke through the bond again. 'Why didn't you tell me about you and Dimitri sooner?'

Rose took a moment to figure out the best way to say it without Christian understanding. "Wasn't the right time yet, Liss."

'No one knows yet?'

Rose shook her head.

"I have so many questions," Lissa said out loud.

"Me too," Christian complained.

"Sorry," Lissa said sympathetically.

Mason walked over to them. "It's almost time for classes to start."

Rose sighed, finishing the last of her donut.

Lissa smiled at Christian and Rose before looking at Mason. "This should be interesting."

"And weird," Christian said, "but at least we have the only novices with marks guarding us."

"Christian," Lissa chastised.

"What? It's true."

"They are memorials," Mason said soberly. "We could have died. I don't know how you forgave us." He directed his last statement to Lissa.

"Mom and dad explained what happened. Everyone was to blame, not just one person. Plus, everything worked out for the best in the end."

"We got lucky," Rose reminded them.

"How is Jill doing?" Mason asked, looking at Lissa.

"She's fine," Lissa replied. "Sonya and I are allowed to see her, so I hang out with her a few days a week. Sonya does too. We also went back home last weekend, which helped. She and Evan still talk on the phone and with email. And I think she's eager for the end of lock down."

"One more month," Rose complained. "At least guarding you guys gives us a bit more freedom."

Again, the unanswered questions bubbled in Lissa's mind about Rose. She wanted to know details. She wanted to know if Rose was happy. She wanted to know how Rose found time to be in a relationship while on lockdown.

'We need to escape to a restroom at some point,' she sent to Rose. 'I need more details.'

Rose grinned at her and nodded.

They left the cafeteria together. Mason took a far guard position, scanning the area. Rose walked closer as the near guard for Lissa and Christian. In classes, the novices stood along the walls, working together to guard the whole room while the Moroi students learned.

The entire experience was boring, more than Rose had expected. She had been hoping for some sort of action, but it was mostly a lot of standing and watching. Rose and the other novices were alert and on guard through the classes, eager to make a good impression. The campus guardians would test them throughout the weeks of field experience. Dressed in all black, the guardians would act as Strigoi. The novices all had fake stakes to use on their instructors when the time came.

The first fight Rose and Mason saw was right before the last class of the day. Two of the campus guardians ambushed Shane Reyes and Evelyn Ivashkov, the Moroi he was defending. Shane was quickly caught up with the one guardian, leaving his Moroi unprotected. None of the other nearby novices reacted right away, except for Rose and Mason. They looked between one another. With a nod, Rose joined the fight while Mason remained to guard Lissa and Christian.

Rose pulled Evelyn away from Guardian Chase. She shoved Chase backward, positioning herself between the guardian-as-Strigoi and his "victim".

"Go to Mason," Rose commanded Evelyn. Rose glanced toward Evelyn briefly to see that she obeyed.

Rose focused on her target. Her heart thudded in her chest. Protect. She needed to protect. Rose lunged at Chase, landing a hit on his arm and face in quick succession. He went for her, but she dodged his hands.

Anger and adrenaline surged in her. Kill. Fight. She was in Spokane, her life in danger.

She slammed the stake into his chest. He fell, as was expected, but Rose kept looking for threats. None. There were no threats. The cheering distracted her. Her breathing was heavy, rapid.

Hands on her arms, she almost stuck out again.

"Rose," Chase said. His voice was calm and soothing. "Where are you?"

Where? She wasn't sure. She stared at him.

"Where are you, Rose?"

She swallowed, focusing on him, breathing with him. "School."

"What is the date?"

She told him, a bit more certain.

"Are you here again?"

She nodded slowly, becoming aware of the world again. "What just happened?"

There was something very sad in his face. "I'll get your mentor, and we'll talk to you about it shortly."

"Am I in trouble?"

He laughed. "No. You passed this test with flying colors." He rubbed his jaw. "And you have quite a punch on you."

She smiled a bit. "Hope I didn't break anything."

"I'll be fine. Follow Mister Ozera to his next class."

Guardian Chase looked at Ryan and Emil, the other guardian who had been fighting. Emil was discussing Ryan's performance. When Emil was done, Chase spoke up to the surrounding novices. He praised the quick thinking of Rose and Mason in assisting Ryan, and they chastised the other novices who had treated the test as a show.

Rose was still shaking when she walked back to her friends.

"You did great," Christian said.

'Are you okay,' Lissa asked through the bond.

Rose nodded, not knowing how else to respond. She wasn't certain. She felt like she was in a real battle, still waiting for more threats.

They separated into two different pairs. Rose and Christian went to culinary science while Lissa and Mason went to creative writing. Guardian Chase appeared at the door halfway through the class.

"Novice Hathaway, we want to go over some notes with you."

"Of course," she replied, leaving her position near the door. Three of her fellow novices were in the room, and they shifted to cover her position.

Rose saw Dimitri in the hallway. She felt warm and happy at the sight of him, even though she was confused. "What's up?"

"We just want to talk," Chase said. "Come on."

They walked a few doors down and entered an empty classroom. Rose stood stiffly, wondering what was going on.

"You aren't in any trouble, Rose," Dimitri said. His voice reassured her. "Guardian Chase spoke with me as your mentor about your first test."

"Why don't we all sit?" Chase suggested.

Rose agreed reluctantly, and they took seats around a long table.

Chase continued speaking in a light manner. "When we fought earlier, what were you feeling?"

"Are you my therapist now?" she said defensively.

"No, I'm just concerned for you. You seemed lost when we fought."

She looked at Dimitri for strength. "I felt like the danger was real, like I was back in Spokane."

"I thought that might be the case," Chase said.

"So, what does that mean?" she asked.

Dimitri responded. "At the moment, it's simply something we will monitor. Your reaction to a fight isn't uncommon after what you went through."

"We've been watching you and your classmates for any side effects of your rogue trip," Chase added.

"While locking us away?"

"No," Chase chuckled. "In your classes."

"Okay, so what if it happens again?" She looked between them.

"If it happens again, or worsens, we will have you see one of the school counselors," Chase replied.

"Counseling? Why?"

Dimitri looked at her, a bit sad. "Your reaction to the fight is probably a mild form of PTSD. It is possible that it will never get worse. This reaction could also go away, or it could become more severe."

"So, I'm crazy?"

"No," Dimitri said quickly. "You went through a traumatic experience and are reacting in a way that many people do afterward."

Rose drew a deep breath. "Okay, so are we done?"

"Yes," Chase replied. "It's time for all of us to return to our duties."

They stood. Guardian Chase walked to the door, but Rose and Dimitri lingered. "Rose, I want to talk to you," Dimitri said. His tone was formal, exactly what anyone would expect from her mentor.

"Sure," she agreed. She looked up at Dimitri when the door clicked shut, leaving them alone. "Mason got assigned to Lissa."

"I heard." A wry smile flickered on his lips. "I also heard that you expressed your opinion on the matter rather loudly."

Rolling her eyes, she leaned against the table. "I was upset. I still think it's stupid that I'm assigned to Christian. I get what Celeste said, that I could be responsible for others in Lissa's family. Stan's point that I have no choice of who my guarding partner will be after graduation also makes sense. But I wanted to be with Lissa, and it sucks that we can't spend time together."

"You knew that our time would be limited when field experience started."

"Yeah, but I didn't imagine spending it with my ex-boyfriend and Christian."

"You'll survive," he said drily. "And we will still have Sundays."

They smiled at each other. "I like that."

"Are you really okay with what happened earlier?"

She looked away from his concern. "I passed, that's all that matters."

He caught her hand with his, squeezing. "Rose."

She looked up at him. "I'll be fine. I fought and did what needed to be done, that's all that matters." She paused, thoughtful. "Is it really that common for people who have fought to feel it so strongly when they fight again?"

"Yes. Fighting, especially for life or death, changes you. It will always be there when you fight again."

"I could have killed him, Guardian Chase. I thought that he was a real threat."

"You were supposed to fight that way. You'll have to do it again in the tests you'll get for the next two months. You'll have to do it when you face Strigoi again."

"I know." She frowned. "I… does it make me a bad person? Wanting to kill?"

He squeezed her hand again. "Do you want to kill people in general or just Strigoi."

"Strigoi. I mean… I think some people should be pushed off a cliff, but that's not the same thing." She said the last with a grin.

He shook his head with a laugh. "That sounds like you. Do you think about going rogue to kill Strigoi? Do you want to kill them because you enjoy it or because you believe it's the right thing?"

"Because it's the right thing, and no I don't want to go rogue. I want to protect Lissa and her family. I know that's what I want to do now."

"Then I think you'll be fine." They looked at one another for a few moments, unable to show any more affection in the school. "We have to go back on duty. I'll see you later."

"Yeah," she sighed. "See you later. Love you."

"I love you too," he replied quietly.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _The chapter that I've been struggling with for weeks is finally done (chapter 20), now I just need to keep writing and still finish the other stories and real life stuff._

 _I added pictures to my facebook public page, which is_ bluegoldrosestories

 _Sixteen of the pictures are Pennsylvania, a few from North-Eastern PA, which is where the Moroi royal court would be. Most are from the general Lehigh Valley area, which is where Lehigh University is located. (The school, valley, and county are named after the Lehigh River.) Three pictures are from California (two are the Getty Villa, which is important to the Bloodlines series). And a picture from Russia of a village that's across a lake from a camp I helped at in 2004._

 _I'll add more pictures later/soon. Not sure what all I want to do with this site, but I definitely like it over tumblr for posts.  
_

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting. You make me smile._

 _Critiques are welcomed :)_


	18. Harbinger

Sometimes the really hot girl doesn't want you. It's okay. It gets better, really. Adrian Ivashkov wasn't used to rejection. Sure, he had faced his fair share of rejection, but most Moroi girls around his age were willing to hook up on the off chance that they might land an Ivashkov boyfriend. Not that he told every hook up his real name. He told some girls that his name was Jet Steele, because it sounded awesome- in his opinion.

The really hot girl who had rejected him recently was Rose Hathaway. She was beautiful in ways that were completely indecent to describe. He could paint her in a thousand hues and still be intrigued, but the door to her affections had been slammed in his face before it had ever opened. He had bought her flowers, roses for Rose, during the first week of the year. Belikov had returned them for her, unceremoniously pushing them into Adrian's hands.

"Rose asked me to return them to you," Dimitri had said. "She would do it herself, but she is restricted to her room at the moment. She isn't interested."

Adrian would have tried pursuing the matter again, but he quickly noticed how much attention Rose paid to Dimitri. Adrian wasn't stupid. He watched the way the two sometimes hurried out of the hallway in Ivan's apartment, a bit flushed and flustered. Adrian realized that Ivan smirked knowingly at those times, and Sonya soon did too.

When the novices began their field experience, and Mason Ashford started attending the spirit training sessions as Lissa's guardian, Adrian's amusement increased. It was worth rejection to be an observer of the quiet drama.

It wasn't an exciting drama. It wasn't overt. But it was there, lingering under the surface. Looks of longing and desire, hidden and covert. The way Rose and Dimitri would pass close to one another, a hand barely touching the arm or back of the other. The way Mason would look at Rose, lost in a memory. Adrian watched the colors of it and painted them.

Adrian quite literally painted it all- abstract, of course. There wasn't much to do on the campus for a visitor. He got permission to use the art rooms when classes weren't in session, so he spent several hours per week painting. The rest of his free time was spent with Ivan, in a staff lounge, or in his apartment.

Ivan was good company, but Adrian soon realized that Ivan had an actual job. It was the sort of job that wasn't surprising for a royal- purchasing and selling assets of some kind. It was rather boring to Adrian, but he quickly realized that Ivan was very wealthy and very good at managing his funds. Ivan spent several hours per day on the phone with various consultants and managers of his wealth.

"You're what, a millionaire?" Adrian commented one day. "But you spend your time with a teenage girl just to train her in spirit. You live with your guardians, dress in modest clothes, and don't have servants."

Ivan just shrugged. "I live simply. My houses have staff to maintain them, and I have enough managers handling my affairs so that I don't need to be in the thick of it every day. Lissa needed me, and spirit is important. Money is useful, but it is only a tool. I work to maintain my finances, but I have no desire to flaunt my wealth."

"See, that's where we're different. I like to use my parents' money and not work for it."

"How long will that last?" Ivan laughed.

Adrian shrugged. "No idea. They're always on my back about doing something useful with my life. I don't know what to do though. How did you figure out what you wanted to do?"

"I still don't know in any concrete way what I want to do with my life. Getting married and having children is really my only plan. Maybe I'll move to the vineyard after Tasha and I marry."

"You own a vineyard?"

"One in California and another in Pennsylvania. Some of my money comes from wine, some from banking, some from inherited wealth, and so on. It isn't difficult to just do something with your life when you have as much money as we do."

"You say that," Arian replied, "but I can't find the motivation."

Ivan laughed. "I like supporting myself, which is motivation enough for me. Find your passion and follow it."

Of course that sounded easy, but Adrian didn't have a passion. Adrian simply existed. He floated along from one amusement to another because there was nothing in life that really made him feel like he mattered. Nothing made him feel like he had a purpose. Then he learned to heal.

Learning to heal was a frustrating process for Adrian. His frustration was allayed by the fact that all four spirit users had difficulties grasping certain gifts. Lissa couldn't dream walk, even though Ivan had begun doing it in a matter of days. She also didn't grasp the finer points of making charms, which Adrian also found difficult. Sonya's weakness was telekinesis. Ivan's weakest ability was working with plants. None of the four could even grasp the basics of Oksana's gift for reading minds, which Ivan had explained to them.

"Growing a plant shouldn't feel any different than healing a person," Sonya instructed one day in February.

"They don't feel the same to me," Ivan replied. "I wish they did, but the plants don't call to me the way people do."

"I can't feel anything with either," Adrian complained with a frustrated sigh. He reached for his pack of cigarettes. "I'll go to my room to smoke and be back."

Sonya gave him the stern expression she normally reserved for students. "Smoking can wait. Lissa needs to leave soon, so you might as well leave when she does."

Adrian set his pack down again. "Fine, but what do you want me to do? You've shown me over and over again how to heal. I see it, but I can't manage it on my own."

Lissa was frowning in concentration. "Do you want it?"

"What? Of course I want to do it."

"No. No." Lissa shook her head. She smiled wistfully, placing a hand on her heart. "You need to want it in your heart. When you see someone hurting or a wilted plant, you have to want to make it whole again. You have to want to heal for the sake of making something better, not just for the sake of doing something cool."

Adrian thought about her words for several moments. Did he want to make something whole again? Or did he just want to do a cool trick?

He walked to the plant he had been working on. It was a potted flower which had not yet bloomed. He touched the plant. What did he want?

'Grow,' he thought. 'Blossom. Thrive.' He closed his eyes. 'Grow. Blossom. Thrive.'

He felt spirit rise, flowing from himself into the plant. It was golden and beautiful. It was music and life and love.

He stopped the magic and opened his eyes. A dark red tulip had blossomed before his eyes. "I did it."

Several of the gathered observers clapped in encouragement. Lissa was bubbling with excited laughter. "I told you that you could do it!"

"So you did, cousin." The feeling, the magic of life, had been exhilarating. He grinned at Lissa, Sonya, and Ivan. "I want to do it again."

So he did. He practiced on plants and quickly progressed to healing the bruises the guardians were getting in the field experience. Dimitri, Brandon, Celeste, and Mikhail- who all spent time with the group- were often the guinea pigs for healing.

Healing was the one thing that made Adrian feel like he mattered. He knew the risks of using spirit too much, but if given the opportunity he wanted to heal. Sonya was the biggest reason he restrained himself. He knew what she had gone through because of spirit, and the thought of being tied to a bed in a psycho-ward was the most terrifying thing Adrian could imagine. So Adrian tried to learn balance, just like his companions.

* * *

Lissa and Jill went home the second weekend of February. Although Mason was Lissa's guardian for the field experience, he remained behind at school. The girls were flown directly from St. Vladimir's to the Moroi Royal Court.

"I can't tell which is colder- school or court?" Jill said as they left the plane.

Lissa shivered as the wind bit against her face. "Here, I think."

They hurried across the airstrip. A guardian from the school escorted them to their house at court. Lissa knocked, then opened the door with her key. Their escort left as Lissa and Jill walked inside.

Alina, the housekeeper, met them in the hallway a few moments after they entered. "Welcome home, Miss Lissa, Miss Jill. Your father and brother are at the council meeting. Your mother should be back shortly from the feeders."

"Are Kat and Violet home," Lissa asked. She and Jill were in the process of taking off their coats and snow coated boots.

"They are, but they might be asleep. Guardian Lehman's schedule has been rather erratic lately."

"Thanks," Lissa replied. "We'll put our bags away and text her."

Putting their coats and boots in the entry closet, Lissa and Jill made their way upstairs. Alina called after them. "Your parents said that you aren't to leave the house until they get here."

Jill frowned. She had been hoping to escape to see Evan. Lissa shot her a sympathetic look as they continued up the stairs.

The Dragomir residence at court, though the smallest of their homes, was impressive. With ten bedrooms, as many bathrooms, a library, two living rooms, and other rooms, it was still one of the smallest royal houses on the property. All the royal families owned at least one mansion at court- shared between many branches of that family. Many of the royal families also owned smaller homes or apartments at court which were permanent residences or also shared within their family. Given the very small size of the Dragomir family, they only owned one residence at court. The family also owned five other homes at different locations around the world.

Jill, Lissa, Andre, Rose, David, and Katrina all had bedrooms in the same part of the house. Kevin and Violet also had rooms nearby. Lissa and Jill's rooms were across from one another.

Jill tossed her backpack onto her bed. She looked around, wondering if there was anything she should bring back to school. It was still weird for her to think of this house as home. Part of her still thought of the house her mom and step-dad had owned in Detroit as home. The house was still there, legally it was Jill's. She had only been back three times since her mom and stepdad were killed. It wasn't home anymore, not really.

Where was home?

Jill shut her door to change. She reopened it after pulling on fresh clothes from her bag. Lissa was in the hall with Katrina and Violet.

Katrina flashed her a tired smile. "Hey Jill. I heard the two of you come upstairs."

"Oh, she's getting so big," Jill cooed. "Alina said you might both be asleep."

"I tried, but I seldom get more than four hours of sleep per day. This little one was happy that I'm home. Want to hold her?" The offer was to either girl. Jill happily accepted her niece. "If you two want to watch her for a while, I can sleep for another few hours. I know your parents plan for all of us, including Mia and Kevin, to have dinner together."

"We can watch her," Lissa said. "Is everything in her nursery?"

"Yes. It's good to see you both."

The girls said the same, and Katrina went back to her room. Lissa and Jill walked down the hall to Violet's room. Jill placed Violet on the floor where she could move around and play with her toys. They sat near the baby on the floor.

Lissa smiled at their niece. "I'm glad mom and dad want us to come back once a month. Can you imagine how big she'd be if we waited to see her?"

Jill laughed. "No. I'm glad too. It's nice to get away from my room back at school."

"Your punishment is almost over. Are you going to try seeing Evan while we're here?"

"Yeah, probably. I told him I was coming today. I don't know if I can sneak out to see him. He could walk over here, but I know dad and mom would send him away."

"I'm sure we can think of something."

Jill smiled sadly. "Thanks."

Lissa was thoughtful, even as she played with Violet. "It's been a year since the car accident. I wonder if that's why they picked this weekend for us to come. I know they thought about bringing Rose, but that would have been more complicated with the field experience."

Jill nodded. She remembered the accident. It was seared in her memory like all the other awful things she had been through. "My parents died four years ago last week."

"I remember. Are you okay?"

She shrugged. "Most of the time. My counselor says that I should talk about my feelings more, but that's hard to do when I'm stuck in my room all the time."

"You aren't stuck there now."

"I know."

"You want to talk to Evan about it?" Lissa guessed.

Jill nodded. "It's hard not having him around or the other music and theater kids. I don't even have your spirit group. I just have you and Sonya and Alice."

"Alice is your best friend, at least."

"And roommate. Which is great, but I can't even tell her that I was shot. It's a huge secret because spirit is still a secret. Plus, she doesn't know what it's like to lose her family. I miss them. I miss them every day. And now Evan has that too, and everyone is keeping us apart."

"I'm sorry."

Jill sighed. "It's fine."

"Andre and I can sneak you out to see him. I promise."

With that promise, Jill's spirits lifted a little. They talked about other things and played with Violet until Rhea came home. Lissa, Jill, and Violet joined Rhea in the larger family room. They caught up on each other's lives while they waited for the rest of the family to arrive. Mia and Kevin arrived shortly before Katrina joined them. The mothers of Andre's children were polite with one another, though still distant.

It was nearly dinner time when Eric and Andre finally arrived. Their tired expressions turned to smiles at the sight of their whole family sitting together.

"How was council?" Rhea asked.

Eric's smile turned to a grimace. "Troubling."

Andre made a grunt of agreement as he went to pick up Kevin. "They want to know how to get more guardians. And all the arguments are maddening."

"Like what?" Lissa asked.

"Nothing we want to talk about before dinner," Eric replied. "I'm tired of discussing politics today. I would much rather talk with both of you."

So they did. The Dragomir family talked in the family room until they moved to the dining room to eat. There was enough to talk about that politics were quickly forgotten. Andre, Lissa, Jill, and Mia discussed their studies. Lissa talked about spirit, which Mia and Katrina had both been informed of previously. The children were discussed by everyone.

After dinner, the conversation did turn back to politics. Mia had returned home, and the children were both asleep. They sat together in the family room again.

"Did you know there's a rumor that they're going to reduce the guardian numbers at court," Katrina said. "Of course, there are no confirmations from higher up, just low-level gossip."

"That one _is_ just a rumor," Eric replied. "There was discussion about reducing the guardians for families that have large numbers permanently living here."

"Would that impact us?" Lissa asked.

"No," Rhea said. "Because the Dragomir line is so small, they are very lenient of how much time we spend together with an ever-increasing number of guardians. You will still get two guardians after graduation."

Jill looked at Katrina "Do they care that you live with us?"

Katrina frowned. "Not really. I'm a permanent at court, so whether I live here or in my own apartment, my role is the same."

"How'd you become permanent at court?" Jill asked. "Can't they move you somewhere else? And aren't you only twenty…" She drew out the number, unsure what Katrina's age really was.

"Twenty-two. I'll be twenty-three next month." Katrina's hand touched the back of her neck, an unconscious gesture. She continued in a slow, detached manner. "I was in fight before I was assigned here. I was guarding a party in Tokyo. The venue was breached, and a lot of people died. After I healed, they assigned me to a new Moroi, but it didn't work out. I can't do field work anymore."

They were all very quiet. Eric spoke thoughtfully to Katrina. "That fight you were in was one of the worst in recent history."

Katrina nodded. "Only the massacres of Badicas and Drozdovs claimed more lives in the past five years."

"I wish we could fight back," Jill muttered.

"That's one of the debates going on right now," Andre replied. "Tasha Ozera and her associates are lobbying for Moroi fighting to be legalized and for active strikes against Strigoi."

"Where do we stand?" Lissa asked her father.

He smiled at her. "I want each of you to have your own voices in any matter, but for our family's official position it's more complicated. Queen Tatiana wants me to be her successor. She's waiting for things to calm down a bit first. If I become king, Andre will be the prince of our family and you will be on the family council as soon as you are eighteen." He looked at Jill. "You will also be part of our council when you are of age. Publicly, we need to be united. Privately, our opinions may vary greatly."

"So, what's the public opinion we are agreeing on?" Lissa asked.

"That we are willing to hear discussion from all sides of an argument," Rhea replied. "If we seem neutral, then we are more likely to get the broadest perspective."

"And privately?" Jill asked. "If I still want to go fight Strigoi as an adult, what's your opinion then?"

Eric regarded his daughter seriously. "I don't want you to fight, but if you still want to fight when you are an adult, you need to be well trained."

Katrina spoke up, worriedly. "I know what you and the others did in Spokane, so I know that you have seen Strigoi. I know that you want to fight back, and think that Moroi fighting is a good idea, but you do need to be properly trained."

"I am… sort of trained. Rose taught me most of what I know physically, and I taught myself offensive water magic. Not that our people want combat magic to be legal."

"Be patient with the combat magic," Andre said. "Tasha is researching some things to get a proposal heard by the council."

"What things?" Lissa asked.

Eric answered her. "I told her that if she wants to pass a law that goes against tradition, she should find out why that tradition exists in the first place. We know that Moroi used to fight. If she can figure out when it changed and why, she will have better luck with her proposals."

"It sounds like an interesting history project," Andre said.

"It does," Katrina agreed. She looked at her watch. "I have to get ready for my shift. Dinner was nice, thank you."

Katrina left, and the family resumed talking, though the subject drifted away from politics. After another hour or so of talking, they all went to bed.

Jill didn't see Evan that night. They considered sneaking out of their houses to meet up, but neither wanted to brave the cold weather. Through text messages, they planned to meet up at the feeders in the morning. She knew that they wouldn't have long to talk, but it would be better than nothing. She couldn't wait for the summer, when nothing would keep them apart.

* * *

Rose, Meredith, and Ivy sat in the hallway near their rooms. Rose and Meredith could easily escape to their rooms if an adult checked their floor- avoiding the consequences of breaking their punishment.

"Last Sunday in February," Rose said. "We're almost free from our punishment."

"Not that it means much when we're on field experience," Meredith said. "At least Sundays will be free again."

"Yeah, then we can hang out downstairs instead of in the hallway," Rose replied. "How did your week go?"

"I passed one of my tests," Ivy replied, "but it hasn't been easy. Guardian Belikov is really fast. He technically killed me the one time."

Rose grinned. "That's my mentor."

"And you can beat him?" asked Meredith.

"Yeah, sometimes." Rose didn't think it was a big deal. She had been training with Dimitri since November. Plus, Dimitri wasn't the fastest opponent she had faced. "The Strigoi I killed in Spokane was faster and stronger than Dimitri, Guardian Belikov."

Ivy sighed deeply. "I worry that I won't pass. I'm not cut out to be top of the class. I'd probably get killed facing a real Strigoi."

"Don't say that," Meredith comforted. "You can do anything you put your mind to. Plus, you could probably do a desk job for the guardians if nothing else works out. Campus guardians also don't face Strigoi very often."

"True," Ivy agreed reluctantly. "My sister says I should drop out of the academy and graduate from a human school like she did. Our mother supports me making my own choices."

"What does Elsa do now?" Meredith asked.

"She works for a pharmaceutical manufacturer. It pays well enough that she bought her own house near Portland, Oregon- where she works. Her job is paying for her college too. She wants to go into research and development."

"Good for her," Rose said.

Elsa was several years older than Rose, Meredith, and Ivy. She had left the academy after her junior year, when she hadn't passed her qualifier. Rose had always liked Elsa, even though she always felt weird about dhampir girls who dropped out. There were a lot of negative stereotypes about dhampirs who refused to be guardians- especially about the women. Rose often had to remind herself that there were jobs for a non-guardian dhampir other than becoming a blood whore.

"How has your week been with Christian?" Meredith asked.

"Fine," Rose said noncommittally.

"And pair guarding with Mason?" Ivy asked the question with a bit too much curiosity.

Rose shrugged. She was picking at her nails, attempting disinterest. "It's fine. It's still weird to have my best friend and ex sharing a room most of the week." It was also still weird to have Mason and Dimitri in the same room when they watched the spirit users train.

"You're still friends again, right?" asked Meredith.

Rose nodded. "Yep. Just friends. We've finally stopped being awkward about everything. Anyway, how was guarding Abby?"

Meredith frowned. "It's fine, I guess. There's just something… odd."

"Odd?" Ivy and Rose both asked.

Meredith thought for a while before responding. "It's been going on for a few weeks now. She meets with some of the other royals, keeping the novice-guardians on the edge of the room on weekdays. They meet on Sundays too. I have no idea what goes on when they meet, but she and some of the others have had bruises on them."

"I've noticed that too," said Ivy. "All of them royals."

Rose thought for a moment. "Is one of them Jesse Zeklos?"

"Yes," both girls replied.

"He came up to Lissa about some sort of secret club the other day. Lissa was telling me about it later. It's called a… um... a mână?"

"Did she tell you what a mână is?" asked Meredith. "Or what they're doing?"

Rose shook her head. "Lissa said she wasn't interested in whatever crazy schemes they're coming up with. She also doesn't have time for whatever the stuck-ups want."

"I wish we knew what was going on," Meredith said. "I have a bad feeling about it. Something just feels off."

Rose shrugged, standing up. "It's probably just the royals being royals, creating a small clique with some sort of weird hazing ritual. I have to go to training. See you later."

Ivy and Meredith said their goodbyes while Rose walked to the gym to begin the day's training with Dimitri. Her time on Sundays with Dimitri had quickly become the best part of Rose's week. She knew that he would find time for them to go to the cabin. He would train her hard for at least an hour, but the time they would spend together afterward would be worth the training. She enjoyed their physical relationship, and her body anticipated it every week. But she loved the moments afterward when they would talk while holding one another, stretching out the time until she had to return to reality.

Rose hurried along the slushy paths toward the gym, forgetting about the mână and the worries of her friends.

* * *

Tasha Ozera came to St. Vladimir's the last week of February. She had also been at school for the last week of January. The arrangement of visiting Ivan for the last week of the month was imperfect, but it was still an improvement over the gaps they had previously endured. Seeing Christian more often was also a plus.

"I haven't seen you in a month, and you are studying dusty old tomes?" Ivan teased. She had only been on campus for a few hours, and she had scattered a dozen large books on a table- taking notes on many of them.

Tasha looked up at him, smiling. "I need to do this research."

He took a seat beside her, reading over the titles. The books were all Moroi histories. "What are you researching?"

"I told you last week that I'm looking into the history of combat magic. Eric Dragomir suggested that if I want to progress my agenda, then I need to find when we stopped using magic as a weapon." She stretched in her seat, muscles already cramping from reading so much. "I think if I can find out why and when we stopped fighting, we could use that to change the stupid laws."

Ivan chuckled. "How far along are you?"

"In the 1600's- Eastern Europe. There was a royal court at that time. It was non-centralized, and the royal families held competitions to see who would become the King or Queen of the royal court. The capital moved to the castle of whichever family held power after the election. Assassinations were common, and wars broke out among the royals on a regular basis. Elemental warfare is part of the record."

"That isn't very long ago, all things considered."

"I know, which makes me wonder why everything changed, and why we have a pacifist dogma shoved down our throats from childhood."

Ivan picked up a bookmark, laying it on the open book. "I'm certain that you'll find an answer."

Tasha laughed. "I'm sorry. I'm here to spend time with you, and I've done nothing but read since I arrived."

"I don't mind," he said. He took her hands in his. "I adore you no matter what you're doing."

"Such a flatterer," she teased. "What are today's plans?"

"Spirit practice, and I'm sure Christian wants to practice fire with you."

"I'm certain he does. How is spirit practice going?"

The glowing excitement on Ivan's face spoke legions as he began telling her about the progress the spirit users were making with honing their skills and balancing their negative reactions. They talked and passed their time alone until the other spirit users, and their growing circle of observers arrived.

Much later, when most people at the academy were asleep, Tasha was reading again. She yawned, rubbing her eyes as they blurred. She had been reading through the histories for hours. She was finding that Moroi history was often full of gaps and obvious revisions. Finding the information she needed was frustratingly difficult. When had the Moroi stopped using their elements in battle? When had they become cowards who hid behind their guardians?

"You should sleep, love."

Tasha looked up at Ivan. She stretched, rolling her neck to work out the kink in it. Ivan settled beside her on the sofa. She rested her feet on his lap. "I'm almost done with this book."

"Any luck?"

She shook her head. "So far as I can tell, our people were still using elements in combat in the 1700's." She closed the book around a finger, lips pressed together in frustration. "But then the narrative just changes, as if our people have always been pacifists."

"When does it change?"

She opened the book again, skimming the paragraphs. "Sometime in the 1800's. There are mentions of a war in Eastern Europe between powerful Moroi families. It's glossed over though, at least in this book. The war ended in 1827 when a pact of peace was made, and the new royal council was founded. The earlier royal council collapsed in the 1700's."

She passed the book to Ivan, who scanned over the passages. "I'm descended from him."

"Hmm?"

"Aleksander Lavrenti Zeklos was my ancestor, and he became the first king of the royal court as we know it today." He moved a finger along the page. "He was the second born of three brothers. He founded the royal court at its present location."

"What happened to his older brother?"

Ivan scanned the page for answers. "Prince Vladimir Kristof Zeklos and his family were killed in a house fire in 1820. The brothers and their families had come to America in 1810 to establish a royal Moroi presence in America. The youngest brother remained in Bukovina- part of present day Romania and Ukraine- in order to run their estates. The surviving brothers helped spearhead the movement for peace among the powerful Moroi families."

"I wonder if there's more information in your family's archives."

"Probably, but we can check that tomorrow."

Tasha yawned again. "Good idea."

Ivan turned one more page. It contained colored images of paintings depicting the three Zeklos brothers, their wives, and children.

"Your ancestors," Tasha said with a light smile.

"A handsome lot," he commented. Ivan looked at the portrait of Prince Vladimir, his wife, and their three daughters- Sofia, Dominika, and Kateryna. "These three were very young when they died." He pointed to the footnotes for the images.

Tasha took the book, reading the fine details. "The eldest girl is said to have been killed at sixteen by Strigoi, a few years before her family died in the fire. That's very sad." She closed the book, setting it on the coffee table. "Time for bed. We can read more sad tales in the morning."

They stood, making their way to Ivan's bedroom so that they could sleep.

* * *

Sofia ran her fingers along the skull which was the focal point of her ossuary. Gerhard had made her, and she had killed him. She wanted him to know that she was the powerful one, the strong one. He may have destroyed the girl she had been by raping her, drinking from her, and later Awakening her, but she had won in the end. She kept his skull, never telling a soul why it held a pedestal in her sanctuary.

Unlike some who thought of her ossuary as grotesque, Sofia had seen the chapels of bones in Europe when she was a child. She had thought that the scene was beautiful and sentimental. People lived on, nameless to the ages, but still seen. So Sofia had made her own ossuary as a memorial to those who had assisted her journey to power across two centuries.

"I am not weak any more, and I shall be remembered with fear. They do not even recall your name." She delighted in that fact. Gerhard was but an echo in Sofia's memory.

Gerhard had been one of the first Strigoi to cross to the Americas in the 1700's. There were legends of their kind in the Americas stretching into the ancient past, but the native peoples had wiped out most of the Strigoi, other than a few in the southern continent, by the 1500's. They returned in the 1700's, eager to taste fresh blood.

The Moroi came as well, with the first immigrants arriving shortly before the American Revolutionary War. They were escaping their own war. Bitter war raged among the royal Moroi of that era. They fought one another with sword, arrow, gun, and magic.

Fleeing from war and danger, Sofia's family came to the barely formed country of The United States of America in 1810. They settled a short ride north of Philadelphia and thought themselves safe. They were the first royal Moroi family to flee Eastern Europe, though some of their family remained behind.

Sofia would have gone back to Bukovina and then to Poland when she was seventeen to marry a Dragomir lord. Would have- but Gerhard killed her guardians and enslaved her. She had eventually been Awakened, and she later slaughtered her parents and sisters in a fire.

Drawing a needless breath, Sofia left her sanctuary and entered the main hall of her estate. Dozens of Strigoi were living there for the moment- disturbing her quiet. She enjoyed being a mostly solitary creature, but it was necessary to sacrifice her freedom in order to gain more esteem. The attack she planned would also have the benefit of culling the pack.

Sofia hated the threat of more powerful Strigoi. For nearly two centuries, she had systematically eliminated her competition in North America. There were older Strigoi in the world, especially in Eurasia, but she was the eldest in North America. She had no intention of losing her position.

She passed them in her halls. Their eyes all drew toward her as she moved. Power did that. The stronger a Strigoi, the more power radiated from them. It was a warning, like the hairs on the back of one's neck rising when there was a barely perceived threat.

There was a tentative truce between the various Strigoi she housed and the Strigoi who were above them in their home regions. They wanted glory. They wanted to attack. Killing one another would wait. The excitement of breaking an Academy's wards and killing as many as possible was unlike anything they had ever known.

Sofia was indifferent to the slaughter to come. For her, the entire endeavor was about prestige and power. The success of the attack would raise her status even higher. As long as she didn't upset an ancient, she would maintain her position as the most powerful Strigoi in North America. She wanted both continents, but she knew that there were ancients in South America. She would never match the power of an ancient, even with an army of Strigoi by her side.

Sofia climbed the stairs to the upper level of her home. The upper floor held special rooms for her servants. She allowed some of them to lock their rooms from the inside, for their own protection. If there was one thing that truly displeased Sofia, it was training servants.

Servants had always been part of her life and having them as a Strigoi was natural for Sofia. When she had freed herself of Gerhard, she began networking. Humans, she had learned, were good assets. They were perfect as spies, servants, and brokers. Sofia's financial assets were managed by humans. Her house was cleaned by humans. Humans gave her information, brought her supplies, and assisted her in a hundred different ways.

Servants were always Awakened after fulfilling the terms of their contracts. If they broke their contracts, they were killed. She preferred that they fulfilled their contracts; it was easier that way. It was simple and practical to get a human, train them, and allow them to train their successor.

Food humans, or Moroi, or dhampirs, were a different story. They were captured and eaten. Sometimes they were kept in the dining rooms for later meals, but they were never trained.

Sofia reached the last room on the upper floor. It was locked by a keypad that only she could unlock. A rare Moroi asset was inside. She knew that the other Strigoi could smell the man, but they couldn't enter the room. She had forbidden it, but sometimes that wasn't enough to dissuade a young Strigoi from impulsively acting against an elder's command.

Sofia entered the room. The man sat on a sofa, reading a book. He cringed at the sight of her.

"You need not fret. I am not going to harm you. I need you."

He swallowed. "My… my lady… my contract…"

She laughed. "You are a Moroi. You could Awaken yourself whenever you want, but you have remained loyal to me. You have given me information whenever I have asked. Such fidelity is priceless to me. I have brought you here because I need you for something very special."

The man trembled a little but said nothing.

"How good are you at offensive magic?"

He stared at her in utter confusion. "My… my magic? I'm well, I'm okay I guess. I'm an earth user. Why, my lady?"

She smiled. "I need you to help me break a ward."

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _I added over 100 pictures of Bethlehem to my facebook public page, which is bluegoldrosestories Some of the pictures are taken from an overlook on Lehigh's campus because the school is built onto the hill/mountain on the one side of the city. Others look up toward the "mountains"._

 _I've been having a lot of fun developing the history and culture of the Moroi, so I hope you enjoy it as more of that comes up throughout the story._

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting. You make me smile._

 _Critiques are welcomed :)_


	19. Calm

The first Sunday in March, Rose knocked on the door to the apartment Dimitri, Ivan, and Brandon shared. It was the late in the morning, with the sun bright in the sky. Dimitri had told her that they would be going on a trip that day. In theory, it was training. They would go to Missoula and see if being outside of wards for an extended time bothered her. She was used to short periods of time spent outside the wards now. She was used to the hum of the ghosts prickling against the barrier of her mind, but they needed to know that she could do it for longer periods of time. The trip was also a good excuse to spend time alone as a couple.

Ivan let her in the apartment, smiling at her.

"Stop that," Rose complained.

"What, I didn't say anything."

"That look said plenty." She entered the apartment, pulling off her jacket. She settled on a couch, eyes narrowed at Ivan. "It's a training mission."

"Right." Ivan snorted a little, obviously amused.

She tried hiding a grin. Protesting to Ivan was pointless. The number of people who knew that Rose and Dimitri were in a relationship was still small. Janine, Ivan, Lissa, Christian, Brandon, Tasha, Sonya, and Adrian knew it for a fact.

Rose had told Christian a day after telling Lissa. He had taken it well and found it amusing. He delighted in teasing Rose about it before they went to sleep. Brandon and Tasha had learned during Tasha's second visit at the end of February. They were both happy about the relationship. They had wanted Dimitri to find someone for a long time. Sonya and Adrian had both figured it out long before mentioning it in passing to Dimitri. They also approved in their own ways.

Rose thought that Celeste, Mikhail, and Mason were suspicious at the very least. Of all the people who knew, Ivan delighted in teasing Rose and Dimitri about the relationship the most.

"I need to practice my mental blocks outside the wards for an extended time. The fact that there are other benefits is beside the point."

"You have half an hour until he gets off duty."

"No fun," Rose pouted.

Ivan merely laughed. "You're so impatient. Why don't you play chess with me until he gets here? We're all alone since Brandon is off with Celeste."

"Chess?"

"Are you opposed to strategy games, or do you think you'll lose?"

She rose to the bait. "Oh, I'll win."

"Then let's play."

They set up a chess board on the kitchen table and began to play. Dimitri arrived when they were on their second round. Rose had indeed won the first game.

"I don't know who I should being cheering for," Dimitri commented, "my girlfriend or my best friend and bond mate."

"And the person you guard with your life," Ivan added.

"Me, obviously," said Rose. "I'm going to win this round too."

"How many have you won?"

"Just one," she replied. "He's good at countering my moves."

"Years of practice," Ivan replied. "Don't help her."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Dimitri said. He took a seat between them, watching their game.

Ivan and Rose had different strategies. Rose was more aggressive, while Ivan was more defensive. Dimitri shut out Ivan's thoughts, intrigued by watching the game. Dimitri liked chess. He liked seeing how different people thought through strategy. Ivan liked keeping his pieces. Rose was willing to sacrifice a piece for a strategic advantage. He realized that Rose was also deceptive- seeming to want one thing, then doing something entirely contradictory. She was losing, but then she moved again.

"Check."

Ivan looked at the pieces. "How?"

She grinned. "I'm a good player."

They continued. He retreated. She pursued. She toyed with him a few times, letting him escape. She chewed on her lower lip with an excited, calculating gleam in her eyes.

She moved again. "Checkmate!" Rose threw her hands in the air in triumph.

"So humble, this girlfriend of yours."

Rose stuck out her tongue. "You wanted me with him."

"I did," Ivan conceded.

Dimitri laughed. "You both played a good game. Rose, we should get going."

"Do you need to change or anything?" she asked.

"I need to change my shirt, then I'm ready to leave."

"Try not to have too much fun on your trip," Ivan teased.

Dimitri muttered something unkind in Russian. Ivan replied in Russian, his tone still light and teasing.

"I wish I spoke Russian," Rose complained.

"We can always teach you," Ivan said.

"Maybe, but I kinda suck at languages."

Dimitri turned to look at her; he had been on the way to his room. "You seem to understand a few things I say in Russian."

She threw a pawn at him as heat radiated from her cheeks. The pawn hit Dimitri, bouncing off him. Ivan burst into laughter. "You're both impossible!"

"True," Ivan agreed, "but you would be terribly bored without us."

"I'd manage," she mumbled. Rose looked toward Dimitri's room. She would have been fine if Ivan and Dimitri had never come to St. Vladimir's. She and Lissa would have figured out how to balance spirit on their own, eventually. But she didn't want to imagine not having Dimitri. "Not that I'd want to manage without him."

Ivan grew serious, thinking about the future. "I'll find a way to make your schedules manageable."

Rose turned back to Ivan. "Oh! I hadn't thought about that yet. Will we have to spend months apart?"

"I don't know yet." Rose's face fell. "Hey, you know I want things to work between you two. I'm already going to make a lot of adjustments when Tasha and I marry later this year. I don't know what Brandon and Celeste are going to do either. Don't worry about it now, or you'll ruin the present."

"Four months."

"Cheer up, little Rose. You're going out for the day with Dimitri- enjoy it."

Smiling, she noticed Dimitri reemerging from his room. She supposed that worrying about the future could wait.

* * *

Dimitri enjoyed seeing the way Rose lit up when they reached Missoula.

"So, what do you have planned for us to do?"

"It's a surprise."

She yawned. "Are naps included?"

"You could have slept on the drive here."

"And miss talking to you?"

"We'll be together all day," he chuckled. "First, I was thinking about taking you shopping. You've been complaining that you want to go for months."

Rose laughed. "You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."

"I have three sisters. I don't mind shopping."

True to his word, Dimitri didn't mind shopping with Rose. He found her fascination with clothes amusing. She chose mostly practical things- a few shirts, workout clothes, jeans, and running sneakers because her current ones were wearing out. However, she did look at other clothes- dresses, heels, flirty tank tops, and very short shorts.

When he offered to buy her whatever she wanted, she only accepted after he told her it was a gift for her birthday in a couple weeks. Dimitri didn't mind spending money on her. He had more than enough money that he saved, even after what he sent his family. With more money to spend, Rose lingered on the dressy clothes. She held up dresses and tops for him to see against her body. He approved, of course. He loved watching the graceful movements of her body.

It was strange to be in public with her as a couple. He enjoyed it. He enjoyed holding her hand and wrapping his arm around her waist. He enjoyed giving her light kisses as a sign of affection. Still, it was such a change from hiding their relationship all the time. Yes, a few close friends knew the truth. Not many knew, and none saw more than brief affection- a touch on the arm or shoulder or waist in passing.

"What do you think of this?"

Dimitri looked at Rose, who exited the dressing room. He couldn't think for a few moments. The devious grin on her face grew. She wore a red dress. The silky material clung to her, accentuating her curves in a way that was beautiful and sexy. She turned, showing the low-cut back of the dress. The skirt ended mid-thigh and was loose enough that it twirled with her.

"When did you pick that up?"

"When you weren't looking. Want me to get it?"

He nodded, not yet able to form words. He really wanted her to keep the dress.

She giggled, kissing him quickly before reentering the changing room. If Dimitri had been younger and less concerned about the rules, he would have followed her inside. As it was, he still debated it for a heartbeat.

When she came out, arms filled with clothes she still smiled at him. "I'm done shopping."

"Are you satisfied?"

"For now," she replied cheekily.

After buying everything Rose wanted, they put all the bags in the car.

"What now?" she asked.

He thought for a moment. "Do you want to eat or to sleep?"

Her eyebrows rose. "Sleep is an option?"

"We need to make sure you can keep your defenses against the ghosts up, even when you are asleep."

She knew that made sense, but the way he smiled at her pushed thoughts of training far from her mind. "Food first. We can grab something from inside the mall."

"Alright."

They went back inside and chose to eat at a restaurant which served hamburgers and fries. They ate. Rose yawned several times, fighting off her tiredness. It was close to noon, far past when she would normally be asleep. Dimitri was more awake, but he drank coffee while Rose did not.

She looked at him with a happy, though tired, smile. "Do you think we can get off campus for my birthday?"

"I doubt it. Is there anything else you want for your birthday?"

She shook her head. "No, I have everything I want." Her smile faltered as she looked at him.

"What's wrong?"

"Ivan reminded me that you'll have to be separated from me in the summer. My birthday is only a couple weeks away. After that it's April- three months. I'm out of school in three months, and you'll go off with Ivan."

He took her hand in his and squeezed. "We'll make it work."

"I know we both want to. I'm just worried. And before you say anything, I know that you've been worried about the future from the beginning."

"I have been, and I still am. However, I have been trying to see things your way and to be positive. I'm with you. We don't know what will happen tomorrow or next week or next year. We need to live for today."

Her smile returned. "Good plan. Can we get ice cream?"

He laughed. "Of course."

They paid for lunch and walked to an ice cream shop inside the mall. Dimitri got cherry. Rose got chocolate. She ate it from her dish in small spoonfuls to savor every lick.

"This is sooo much better than the ice cream at school." She closed her eyes with contented sound as she licked her spoon again.

"I think you love that ice cream more than me," he teased.

She opened her eyes slowly. "I might." She held her spoon out to him with more ice cream on it. "Try it."

After a moment's hesitation, he accepted the spoon and ate the ice cream. He handed the spoon back to her with a slight shrug. "It's fine."

"Fine?" She couldn't believe him. The ice cream was perfection.

"I don't particularly care for chocolate."

"What?"

He laughed. "Well, this way you can have all the chocolate in our relationship."

She laughed with him and they continued to eat dessert. Afterward, he drove to a hotel. There were two beds in the room, but they chose to share one. They did sleep, after enjoying their first night of truly being alone together. They held one another close as they slept.

Dimitri woke before Rose. It was strange, in a good way, to hold her in his arms. He wondered how many days they could have like this, just enjoying time together. He wondered how it would all change when she graduated.

Organizing the trip had taken a lot of work. He had to get the permission of the school and the Dragomirs, Rose's legal custodians, to arrange it. They all agreed that Rose should be tested on her ability to keep focused while outside of wards. The last thing anyone wanted was for Rose to be distracted by ghosts while guarding someone. The fact that Rose and Dimitri got to spend the day out on a date was a bonus.

He watched her sleep. She would have to wake up soon. They were due back at school around nine, but they could linger for a little while in this moment.

He loved her now. He had said that he loved her when their relationship began, and he had to an extent. It had been shallow then, a feeling built out of care and desire. Now it was deeper, reaching into his soul in ways that he hadn't known for a very long time. He was afraid to lose her. He was afraid that they couldn't make the relationship work.

She was the most surprising thing in his life. She was so vibrant, so full of life. She was like flame made flesh, and he wanted to stay in the glow of her warmth.

She amazed him. She cared deeply for her friends. She would do anything for any of them. And though she had a strong streak of defiance toward authority, she was dedicated to learning how to be a guardian. He admired her spirit. He admired the love she had for the Dragomirs, and the love they had for her.

She woke up with great reluctance. He had to pull the covers off her before she finally accepted defeat.

"You can sleep on the drive back," he assured her.

She grumbled something incoherent before standing up and pulling on her clothes. "I need a brush."

Dimitri handed her a brush from a bag he had thought to pack and bring. She brushed out her hair, eyes still mostly closed.

"How are your mental walls?" he asked.

She looked at him, smiling tiredly. "Good. The pressure is there, but I'm not distracted by it and it's not overwhelming. I could stay focused if a threat arose."

"Good. I think we can report that your training was successful."

She laughed, beckoning for him to come to her. He stood between her legs as she sat on the bed. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he bent to her and kissed her softly. Standing, he pulled her up with him. She nestled against his chest for a few moments before they straightened and finished cleaning up the room.

Rose did sleep on the drive back to the school. She tried to stay awake. She tried to hold a conversation with Dimitri, but she drifted off as the miles wore on. She woke up when they were about ten minutes from the school.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked.

"Yep. And when we get back I still have free time because our day out was during the daytime. No awkward guarding. No being stuck in my room. Are we all hanging out later?"

"As far as I know, yes. Is it really still awkward for you to pair guard with Mason?"

"Sorta. I mean, we work fine together. We've taken out all the guardians sent after us. Which reminds me- you haven't attacked us."

His lips twitched in a small smile. "They haven't assigned me to do that yet."

She grinned at him. "I look forward to the challenge, comrade. Anyway, working with Mason is fine outside of spirit lessons. Those lessons were always a private time for our group. I know we have more people now, different people, but I liked that privacy. Plus, after I saw everyone's aura through Lissa it feels weird."

After a lot of practice, Lissa had learned to see auras just as easily as Ivan, Sonya, and Adrian. The four spirit users had discussed what the colors meant with one another. Rose and Dimitri watched through the eyes of their bond mates. The discussion made Rose realize how little could be kept secret from an aura reader. Affection, in all its varying shades, was impossible to disguise.

The love of any romantically involved couple was visible in their aura- Rose and Dimitri, Lissa and Christian, Ivan and Tasha, Sonya and Mikhail, Brandon and Celeste all spent time in their circle of friends. The way the colors of the pairs resonated with one another was quite striking to see. Also visible were the bonds between Rose and Lissa, Ivan and Dimitri. The shadow kissed pairs were bound in ways that were intangible and unbreakable.

"The fact that Mason still cares deeply for you or the overall knowledge of how everyone's auras react to one another?"

"A little bit of both. I'm not stupid, I think I already that knew he still loves me, but it was easier to ignore. Plus, Adrian likes giving knowing smirks when we're all in the same room. He's nearly as bad as Ivan."

"They hang out a lot- Ivan and Adrian. I think they influence one another."

"Oh, that's totally what we need," she said sarcastically.

He chuckled. "I think Ivan is a good influence on Adrian. He's been drinking less. All four of the spirit users are good for each other. Did you know that they spoke with Oksana?"

"No, I didn't."

"It was while Lissa was in class."

"Hopefully they can talk sometime too. I know she'd love to meet more spirit users."

"They probably will one day. The call went well, and Oksana trusts Ivan."

The conversation continued until they arrived back at the school. After Dimitri parked, he took hold of Rose's hand and squeezed. She squeezed back, smiling at him.

"Thank you for today. It was amazing."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"How long until you can come up with an excuse to get us out for the day again?"

He laughed, releasing her hand. "I have no idea. Come on, you need to take all your stuff back to your room."

* * *

In the Moroi afternoon, the early hours after midnight, Ivan gathered his growing group of friends at the apartment he shared with his guardians. He liked hosting them. He liked calling them his friends.

In many ways, they were family to him. Christian would be Ivan's nephew later in the year. From the way Christian and Lissa's relationship was going, she would likely be Ivan's niece by marriage one day.

One day, if all went well, Ivan could have children whose cousins were Dragomirs. He wondered if his parents would finally approve of Tasha in that case. They had never liked Tasha, but their dislike was subdued. Ivan's sister Melina was more vocal about her disapproval. He didn't care on some levels, but part of him did wish that his family approved of his fiancée.

Ivan had come to think of friends as a family which meant more than blood family. Friends like his guardians. Many Moroi were friendly with their guardians- if they had guardians. Ivan thought of his guardians as companions, brothers. He hadn't always been that way. He had been more thoughtless of Dimitri and Brandon before the night Dimitri died. Since then, Ivan had slowly changed his ways. He wanted Dimitri and Brandon to have their own lives and loves. For now, they did have loves.

The vexing thought was that it would be nearly impossible for the guardians to see their girlfriends when Ivan left the school. He didn't know how to fix that fact. Being at or around court more would allow Dimitri and Rose more time together if Lissa stayed around court. Ivan didn't know what Brandon would do.

Brandon tended to be content with casual relationships. While Ivan didn't know the intricacies of guardian life, he was aware that some guardians hooked up during their downtime at events or at court. Brandon frequently found girlfriends or flings that way. Dimitri had never been the casual relationship sort, but he had also gone down that path once or twice.

The casual relationships were easy for the guardians to leave behind whenever their Moroi went to a new place. Ivan travelled frequently. His time at the academy was the longest he had been stationary in years. Now that there were only a few short months left until he would leave again, Ivan worried for his friends- his guardians. Dimitri was in love with Rose. Brandon was in love with Celeste. Leaving a love wasn't the same as leaving a fling.

Ivan pushed away his musings, focusing instead on his friends. They gathered in the guest lounge on the same floor of the building where Ivan, Dimitri, Adrian, and Brandon were staying. Those four men were all present, as were Rose, Lissa, Christian, Jill, Sonya, Mikhail, and Celeste. They sat around the room, eating pizza and talking. They were an odd group at first glance, but they were all connected to one another. They were friends, and they were family.

As they were nearing the end of the food, Ivan brought out a few bottles of wine. "These came from my vineyards. I haven't tried them yet and wanted to share it with you all."

"Even us," Rose asked, looking from Ivan to Lissa, Christian, and Jill.

"Mom and Dad let us drink wine with dinner," Lissa said.

Celeste looked at the students in the group. "None of you should be drinking on campus."

"We could just taste it," said Christian. "It won't hurt to have a few swallows. We won't even get buzzed."

With some debate and some bargaining, the students were all allowed to taste the wines in very small amounts. Ivan told them how to properly taste wine to experience all the flavors it held.

"These are all pretty good," said Adrian. "You have good grapes on your land."

Ivan agreed. "And good workers. I think it would be nice to live at the vineyard in Pennsylvania. Being close to court has its advantages."

"Where's the vineyard?" Lissa asked.

Ivan thought for a few moments. "South of court. It's close to a city called Allentown."

Lissa lit up. "Oh, I was looking at schools near there. It's not too far from court, which mom and dad want, but it's still something different. Since Andre got away with going to school in Philadelphia, I don't see why I can't go to a school Moroi usually don't attend either."

"Are you going to college next year or taking the year off?" Sonya asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know yet. I think it would be fun to see the world for a year before settling into college. Mom and dad want me to at least look at a few schools before I decide one way or the other. I'm waiting until after graduation to finalize my list of possible schools."

"Seems sensible," Ivan said. "And it sounds like you're procrastinating."

"A little," Lissa agreed. "Graduating is such a big step." She looked at Christian. "Plus, he doesn't know what he wants to do."

Christian shrugged. "I'll figure it out."

"Well, nephew," Ivan said. "I'm certain that your aunt and I can figure out ways for you to be responsible."

Christian frowned, but he was obviously happy to be called "nephew" by Ivan. "I'm sure you both will."

Jill began to smile. "You could train to be a chef and open a restaurant at the vineyard."

"That might be fun," Christian said. He looked up at Ivan. "What do you think?"

"We can talk about it," Ivan replied with a smile.

"It sounds like you might all live near court," Sonya said.

"We may indeed," Ivan agreed. He didn't miss the look Brandon and Celeste exchanged. He wondered what they would do to keep their relationship, or if they would end things at the end of the year. He wondered if there was another way to give his guardians the lives he thought they deserved.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _I want to get back to weekly posting. The next three chapters are written and I don't think the following chapters will be has complicated for me as 18-22 were... so we'll see. I also do need to get back to finishing my other fic in this fandom, but this story has me absorbed right now. This is actually the chapter I was stuck on forever (that I mentioned a few notes ago). I'll explain why next chapter lol._

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting. You make me smile._

 _Critiques are welcomed :)_


	20. Storm

Natalie Dashkov was annoyed. There were too many Strigoi in the cabin and the surrounding area. The sensation of so many of her kind, each with their own level of power was unsettling. Being unsettled was annoying. Not being able to lash out was annoying. Waiting to eat was annoying. It was tempting to kill a servant, but that was a good way to get dead. Eating could wait until the attack. It would be soon now, just a matter of days.

Longing for solitude, Natalie had taken to climbing a tree near the cabin. During the daylight she was packed into the house with everyone else, trying not to kill one another. At night, when she wasn't hunting or running, she could spend time alone in the trees with a few books to read.

As the sky grew lighter, with the sun threatening to break through early morning clouds, Natalie climbed down from her perch. Death by sunlight was not instantaneous. In full sun, it took about an hour for a young Strigoi to die. In shade, low light, or full cloud cover, Strigoi could spend far longer outside. A young man stood below her tree, looking up with vague amusement. His hair was blonde, and Natalie thought that he was somewhat attractive and oddly familiar. She hopped down, studying him.

"What do you want?"

He shrugged. "To avoid being stuck inside with everyone for as long as possible. That cabin may be spacious, but it wasn't built for so many of us."

"No, it wasn't," she agreed. "But it's only temporary."

He grinned. "True, but the place where I live is bigger."

"Where's that?"

"Russia. I work for a woman named Galina."

Her eyes narrowed. The group from Russia was one of the last to arrive. "You were American," she commented.

"True. I went to St. Vladimir's too. You're a Dashkov, right?"

"Natalie," she confirmed with a nod. She knew he was familiar. Somewhere in her memories, she did know him. "Tarus?"

He smiled. "Nathan. You were Victor Dashkov's daughter, right." She nodded. "I was a few years ahead of you."

"How did you end up working for a Strigoi in Russia?"

"I was Awakened while vacationing on the Black Sea. He worked for Galina, and it made sense to join her. The estate she owns is far larger and more luxurious than this place. I heard you Awakened yourself."

"I did. I stumbled on Sofia and decided to follow her. And this is not Sofia's only residence."

He held his hands up in a pacifying manner as fear flashed across his face. "Oh, I meant no offence to her."

She laughed harshly. "Is your Galina two hundred years old?"

"No. She's only been Awakened for a few years."

Natalie's smile was not friendly, it was predatory. "Then she should hope to stay on Sofia's good side, as should we all."

"Only an idiot would want to get on the bad side of someone that powerful." He paused, looking toward the house. He kept an eye on Natalie out of caution. "She's so tiny. If it wasn't for the power radiating from her, you'd think she was just a weak girl."

Natalie nodded. A chill went up her spine. Sofia was a terrifying ally and a more terrifying enemy. "It works in her favor."

They walked inside, out of the steadily lightening world. Natalie could deal with the annoyance of being crowded for a few short days.

* * *

Rose ducked the fist that was flying toward her. She landed a hit of her own on Celeste as they sparred for a field experience challenge. Rose was hoping to defeat her quickly because other instructors were in the battle.

Rose was better at staying in the present now. Her heart still raced, and she still went into "kill" mode, but she wasn't lost when the battles ended.

"Rose," Mason called. "Behind you."

Someone slammed into Rose from behind. She fell to the ground with a whump. She coughed, struggling to get away. She managed to turn herself around. Dimitri gave her the flicker of a smile as their eyes met. She tried not to be distracted by him, which wasn't too difficult because she was a bit offended by how hard he had hit her.

Suddenly, the weight of Dimitri's body was gone. Rose scrambled to her feet again. Eddie had pulled Dimitri away and had "staked" him with a practice stake. Mason had also intervened, taking out Celeste.

Rose panted hard, trying to regain her breath. She looked at Lissa, Christian, and a small cluster of Moroi. Two other novices were guarding the Moroi while Rose, Eddie, and Mason had fought four instructors. The other novices had assisted with offense and defense throughout the match.

Rose, Eddie, and Mason looked around to ensure that there were no further threats. The crowd of students cheering helped assure them that they had indeed passed. Rose looked at her friends, and their expressions mirrored her thoughts- it had felt a lot like Spokane.

Dimitri touched Rose lightly on the shoulder. "Are you hurt?"

She shook her head. "Just winded, but you did hit me pretty hard."

"It's my job to train you well and not hold back."

"I know." She looked at Eddie. "My hero."

He grinned. "Any time Hathaway."

The guardians gave each of the novices a few notes before dismissing them. Rose looked down at her now grass-stained jeans and sighed before walking over to Christian and Lissa.

"That was impressive," Christian said.

Rose rolled her eyes. "You say that every time."

He shrugged. "Yeah, but that was the first time all three Strigoi slayers fought in front of a crowd."

Eddie laughed. "Strigoi slayers? We took out two because we got lucky."

Lissa disagreed. "No, all three of you really are that good. Haven't you noticed that they challenge you three with the most difficult scenarios?"

"Yeah," Mason agreed as Rose and Eddie nodded. "And we've had the biggest numbers going against us. I can't wait to see what we have to do for our trials at graduation."

Rose grinned. "Take out all the campus guardians, probably. I plan to finish with the highest score."

"Sounds like a competition," Mason said with a grin.

"You'll lose," Rose taunted.

"To me," Eddie proclaimed. "And we should start with the guarding again."

They split up. It was late, so each of the novices went with their Moroi to the dorms. Rose's temporary bed for field experience was on the floor of Christian's dorm room. She had gotten used to it over the past several weeks.

"I'm going to take a quick shower," she said when they got into his room. "Try not to be killed by a guardian in my absence."

He laughed. "I'll do my best."

When she returned, Christian was sitting on his bed- reading. Rose sat on her covers, braiding her long hair. She thought it was nice that he didn't have a roommate, it was quieter. Plus, Christian was Lissa's boyfriend, so he wouldn't try to hit on her.

"So, your boyfriend tackled you in front of everyone."

Rose threw her pillow at him. "It's his job. He's part of the training." She rubbed her knees and shins, feeling the tender bruises on them. "And it's not like he's going easy on me. I think he's harder on me. He expects more from me."

"I get it. Still crazy that you're with my uncle's guardian."

She laughed. "Life is funny like that." She didn't correct Christian referring to Ivan as his uncle. She knew that both men were happy to call one another family, even before it was all settled with Ivan and Tasha's future marriage. "We're going to be one big, happy family."

"Yeah, and I'm sure Aunt Tasha will want to go Strigoi hunting with you and me and Dimitri and maybe some others."

"Jill," Rose said quietly. She laid down, a towel beneath her wet hair. "She's still determined to fight back."

Christian grinned, turning off the light. "She's determined to make a difference in the world. Lissa is too, just not in a Strigoi killing way."

Rose laughed. "Yeah, Liss is too gentle for Strigoi slaying. Plus, I would never let her that close to a Strigoi. I'll keep her safe."

"We both will. Fire can kill a Strigoi, and I've trained too."

"I know."

They were quiet for a few moments when Rose spoke again. "Are you going to live with us after graduation or with Tasha or by yourself?"

He didn't answer for a while. "I'm not sure. We haven't talked about it yet. Probably at court. The rest we can figure out later."

"Yeah, good night."

"Night."

* * *

Lissa closed her schoolwork, glad to be done for the weekend. She looked up. They were sitting in the common room of her dorm. Other Moroi were scattered around the room in clusters, playing games or doing school work. Christian, sitting across from her, was still working on math. Rose, Mason, Eddie, and several other novices were in various positions around the room. Lissa wondered if the guardians would test the novices in the common rooms today as they had other days. Saturday was usually a big day for staged attacks due to the more relaxed nature of the day. It was easy to lower one's defenses on a day when everyone was relaxing.

Lissa looked at Rose, who was standing near one of the exits. 'Miss you,' she sent.

Rose looked at her, smiling ever so slightly.

'Can we hang out tomorrow on your free time?'

Rose nodded.

'After I get out of church?'

Rose nodded again.

Lissa grinned. Rose very obviously bit back a laugh.

"You know," Christian said. "For having a secret telepathic link to your best friend, you aren't being very secret about it."

"No one knows, and if they think anything at all it will be that Rose and I were making faces at one another."

"True. I'm done with schoolwork for the weekend. What do you want to do?"

She shrugged. "Other than spirit later, just hanging out in a lounge reading or watching tv I guess."

"If we watch tv, at least Rose won't be bored out of her skull."

"True." Lissa missed being able to spend time with Rose. Between the field experience and Rose's two-month punishment, they had barely spent any time just hanging out for a long time. As interesting as the novice field experience was, Lissa was ready for it to end. She wanted her life to be normal again.

They spent the rest of the day until spirit training in one of the lounges, watching television on sofas with other Moroi students. Rose, Mason, and other novices watched the room. They fought off two different attacks from instructors during the hours in front of the television.

"You know," Rose said when they were in the guest building's lounge. "It's weird you guys never attack us in here." She was looking at Dimitri, Brandon, and Mikhail as she spoke.

"It would be a bit obvious," Mikhail said. "Plus, you wouldn't know if they were going to attack or just going back to their rooms."

They all laughed at that.

"Do you really want to fight in here too?" Brandon asked.

Rose shrugged. "I don't know, maybe. It would be more fun than spirit study normally is. Not that this isn't important, it is."

"You just like more action in your life," Ivan commented.

Rose resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "I want to be the best, and yeah spirit training is more interesting for me when I'm doing more than listening or observing."

"After the bruises you got over that past few days, I'm surprised you want to fight more," said Christian.

"That's the job," Rose replied.

Mason added his own thoughts. "Plus, we won't fight this much when we're guarding in the real world. We need to train our hardest here and now so that we keep in mind what might happen in the field."

"You two are very good," Brandon said. "Just don't get overconfident, again. Even the best of us can be surprised or killed in the line of duty."

"We won't," Rose and Mason said in unison.

Brandon continued. "I know you have heard this before and will again, but you were very lucky in Spokane. You've learned from that, but it can be easy to forget how dangerous the world is when you're outside of the school for a year or two."

"I'm sure you'll find time to remind me," Rose said.

He laughed. "I'm sure I will."

They slipped into training. All four spirit users worked on their powers. Mikhail and Brandon both left during the session to plan an attack on some novices. Lissa, Christian, Rose, and Mason left together when the session was done.

"I still think your training is fascinating," Mason told Lissa. "I'm amazed that our people forgot about spirit."

Christian snorted. "Everyone forgot that Moroi used to be fighters too."

Lissa smiled at them. "Well, we're trying to change both those things." She looked toward Rose, who was walking a few steps behind them as a far guard. She sent Rose a message through the bond. 'And we'll figure out how to make things better for dhampirs too.'

Rose grinned at Lissa in response.

A short time later, Rose and Mason left Christian and Lissa at the Moroi dorms and walked back to their dorm for their day off. Rose was excited to spend time on her day off with Lissa. They hadn't hung out one on one in ages. She was also looking forward to training at the end of the day with Dimitri.

"This is the best part of the week," Rose said.

"The freedom of going back to our own rooms?"

She laughed. "Yeah, that's definitely a big part of it. At least we'll have our own beds as guardians."

"I wish I knew where I'll be assigned."

"You'll be great no matter where you are. You'll probably have a good position though, given your marks."

"And you'll be with Lissa."

"Yeah. Whenever she and Christian decide to get married- which I'm certain will happen one day- I'll guard him too."

"Sounds nice."

Rose made a noise of disagreement. "Guarding Christian is like guarding a more annoying version of myself."

Mason doubled over with laughter, which Rose quickly realized was directed at her. She punched him lightly on the shoulder before laughing with him.

"Sorry," he said, calming himself.

She glared, though a smile threatened to emerge.

"Come on, you two are too much alike sometimes."

Rose didn't deny the accusation and kept walking. "Anyway, don't worry about who you'll guard. You will do really well no matter what."

"Thanks, so what are you doing on your second day off since regaining freedom?"

"Lissa and I will catch up, then I have training before going back on duty."

Mason was quiet for a few heartbeats. "You train a lot."

Guilt tangled in her gut. She did train a lot. She also did a lot of other things with her mentor. "Yeah, we do. I need to control being shadow kissed. If I don't control it during a battle, I could be distracted and get killed."

"I know."

Rose didn't say anything, and they lapsed into uncomfortable silence for the rest of their walk.

* * *

"So, how are things with Dimitri?" Lissa asked Rose. They were alone in Rose's room.

"Good," Rose said. "We don't talk as much as we used to because of the field experience. And we can only get away with a few hours on Sunday for training."

"Do you actually train?"

Rose laughed. "Yes. He's been teaching me a lot, both about being a guardian and about being shadow kissed. Even going away last Sunday was training. It was a date too, but it was also training. I need to be able to block out distractions when outside the wards."

"What is it like, seeing ghosts?"

Rose grimaced, standing from the bed where they sat. "I don't like it. It's sad. All those people, dead and wanting something that they'll never get. I used to think it was terrifying, so I guess this is an improvement."

"I'm glad you have Dimitri to help you with that."

"Me too, I'd think I was losing my mind if I had to deal with the ghosts alone."

Lissa laughed. "I bet. I think we would have figured it all out eventually, but Ivan and Dimitri have been so much help. And Sonya."

"Jill is happier with Sonya being back."

"Yeah, she is. So, what did you do last Sunday with Dimitri? I know you went shopping."

Smiling with delight, Rose told Lissa about her training and date and a dozen other things they hadn't been able to discuss except in brief moments since January.

* * *

Rose and Dimitri lingered in the cabin. They talked, cuddling on the small bed.

"I'll finally be eighteen next week," Rose said.

"I know." He kissed the top of her head. "I'll finally feel like I'm not breaking the law."

She laughed at the teasing tone of his voice. "It's not illegal now, just frowned upon. I can't wait for field experience to end so that we can have more time together."

He shifted a little, and Rose sensed him withdrawing from her.

"What's wrong?"

He clasped her hand with his, running his thumb along the back of her hand. "It's only about three months until you graduate. I want to enjoy every moment I can with you, but I am always reminded that these moments will end."

She cuddled closer to him, swallowing the lump in her throat. "We will make this work. I love you."

He shifted, bringing one hand up to cup her chin and turn her face toward him. He kissed her softly, tenderly. When the kiss ended, he rested his forehead against hers. Their eyes closed. "I love you too, and I want our relationship to work. I want you more than anything or anyone."

She shivered. His words were so dangerous, practically treason to the ways of the guardians. She knew that the only person he would place ahead of her was Ivan. She would place Lissa ahead of Dimitri, so she supposed that it was fair.

They kissed again before pulling apart.

"We need to go back," he said.

"Time to sleep next to Christian again," she said drily. Seeing Dimitri's expression, Rose burst into laughter. "I sleep on the floor. Mason actually sleeps in the hallway outside of Lissa's room, so it could be worse."

She stood, smiling slyly. "Besides, I know you're better in bed."

He shook his head, muttering in Russian.

"Hey, it's not like I wanted that knowledge. He makes Lissa happy, and you make me happy."

"I know."

"And you know what Tasha and any other woman Ivan has been with are like in bed too."

Dimitri sighed. "Yes, I do. Let's go."

They put on their coats, kissing again before they left the cabin.

They had only gone a few yards when they felt it. A wave of nausea. A cold prickling of their skin. Dimitri's hand went to his stake.

The Strigoi emerged a moment later. Dimitri lunged toward him, catching the Strigoi off guard. Rose stood watching, on edge without a weapon. Dimitri and the Strigoi were evenly matched, both strong and both quick. They struggled with one another for several long moments before Dimitri's stake plunged into the monster's heart.

Dimitri turned to Rose, eyes worried but still in guardian mode. The nausea had increased, not decreased. There were more Strigoi in the woods.

He told her to run. He told her to stop for nothing until she reached the guardians in her dorm. He told Rose to tell the guardians "buria".

"Run, go!"

Rose nodded, and she ran- leaving her heart with him as the sounds of fighting resumed.

* * *

Meredith watched the royals gathering near the edge of campus. The mână thing and the bruises on her classmates were too weird for her not to be curious. She had followed Abby Badica that day from a distance and watched as the royals gathered and proceeded to attack one another. She considered running back to tell someone, but she felt like she needed more information.

It was close to curfew when the students began to wrap up their weird gathering. Meredith had realized that they were trying to use compulsion on each other. It was weird.

She began walking back toward the dorms when she heard branches snap behind her in the woods. A few moments later, she saw them.

A dozen or more Strigoi emerged from the woods. Meredith screamed. She ran toward the Moroi.

"Strigoi, run!"

They stopped, not understanding her repeated cries until they too saw the Strigoi. Some of the students froze in terror. Some ran away as fast as they could. Meredith pushed the frozen students, encouraging them to run.

Hands grabbed her- strong and icy. Meredith had no weapon. She struggled against him. She kicked and scratched and bit.

She couldn't stop him. He was too strong. He was too fast. Meredith saw that some of the students were well on their way back to the dorms. She had done something right. She had done something good.

Fangs pierced her neck, ripping away her life with savage ease.

* * *

Rose's lungs were nearly on fire when she reached the dorm. She burst through the doors, and nearly slammed into Guardian Stan Alto.

"Rose, what-"

"Strigoi. There are Strigoi on campus." Stan tried to talk, but Rose interrupted him. Her panic was growing. Dimitri was in danger. "Dimitri said to say _buria_."

Instantly, Stan released her shoulders and ran. Rose watched as the guardians assembled in very rapid order. Novices also gathered, keeping out of the way. Rose quickly realized that she was the only senior novice in the dorm. All the other seniors were probably at the upper campus Moroi dorms.

Guardians left the lobby as quickly as they had gathered. In the distance, Rose could hear an alarm blaring across the campus. Rose listened to the orders the guardians were receiving. Each group was being sent to a specific area and assigned a specific task.

Rose stepped forward when only Alberta and a few other guardians remained. "What should we do?"

Alberta looked around. Sadness flickered across her face. "Go to your floors. Guardians on those floors will give you further instructions."

"I can do more," Rose insisted. "You know I'm the best novice here. In three months, I'm a guardian."

Alberta studied Rose briefly. "Then follow orders." She pulled a stake out of her jacket and gave it to Rose. "Protect them."

Rose's hand closed around the stake. She nodded solemnly. "I will." She was about to follow her changes up the stairs when she paused. "What does buria mean?"

"Storm. It's Russian for storm."

Rose turned then, following the younger students up the stairs. She told some of the students to keep others from panicking. She told the best students in the junior class to stay alert in case the guardians in the building fell.

Rose stayed on the second floor, pacing. She needed to know what was happening. What had happened to Dimitri? Needing more information, Rose looked into Lissa's mind.

Lissa was crowded on the top floor of her dorm with many other Moroi students. Senior novices, including Mason and Eddie were with them. Adrian was there as well. He and Lissa had been discussing a new spirit related find he had read about earlier.

Lissa was afraid. She feared for herself. She feared for her sister. She feared for Rose. Most of all, she feared for Christian. She had been planning to meet him in the chapel but talking with Adrian had delayed her. Christian was alone.

Rose returned to herself. She had to go to Christian. She was useless in the dorm. She needed to fight, and she needed to protect her charge.

She ran up one floor to avoid being seen. At the end of the hallway was a fire escape stairway. It had no handle on the outside and she could use it to leave the building. She ran down the stairs and out the building.

She went at a light jog toward the chapel. She didn't feel the Strigoi. She heard screams in the distance, but there were no sounds of fighting near her.

A figure moved, and Rose struck out at it before seeing. She barely stopped herself from staking Christian. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to go back to the dorm. What's going on? I heard screaming."

"There are Strigoi on campus."

"What? How?"

"I don't know. We have to get back to the chapel. Holy ground is safe."

As they agreed to go to the chapel, Rose felt another wave of nausea. "Get down!" Christian dropped to the ground without hesitation.

Two Strigoi, a male and a female, attacked Rose. The female slammed Rose into a tree, but she quickly recovered. She slipped away from the man, but the female backhanded Rose a moment later.

Rose struggled with both of them. She feinted toward the man, then stuck out at the woman. Rose's stake pierced the woman's heart. She slumped to the ground- dead.

Rose now fought the man. He was fast and strong, a lot like the Strigoi in Spokane. The man soon knocked her to the ground, pinning her. Rose struggled in vain. She thought that she was going to die. The man jerked away from her and was quickly engulfed in flames. Christian had lit the male Strigoi on fire. He soon fell to the ground, dead.

Rose and Christian stared at the charred corpse for several long moments. After a little debate, they decided to keep fighting. Though they both wanted to protect Lissa, they knew the novices were an extra defense at that dorm. Jill, and the other students on the lower campus, had no extra defense. They decided to go to the lower campus.

* * *

Jill and Sonya were gathered with other students and Moroi faculty in one of the lower campus's dormitories. Sonya held Jill's hand as they waited. Screams could occasionally be heard through the windows. Sonya could feel the terror and sorrow and rage permeating the building. She worried for Mikhail who was somewhere on campus, fighting.

Jill stood, clenching and relaxing her hands. "We have to do something."

"What do you suggest we do? The guardians are fighting. The doors are locked. The windows are barred."

"I don't know!" Jill cried. "I hate being useless. What if, what if I freeze the entries on the lower levels? Wouldn't that help? Other water users could help too."

Sonya smiled at her young cousin. Jill's desire to defend and protect others was heartening. "I'll ask a few of the other teachers. It can't hurt to try."

Within minutes, a group of water users gathered with bottles and buckets of water. They took positions at vulnerable areas, as pointed out by the guardians in the building, and sealed the doors and windows with ice.

* * *

When Rose and Christian reached the elementary dorm, at least twenty Strigoi were near the entrance. There were maybe ten guardians fighting. Rose and Christian hesitated for only a moment before they dashed toward the fray.

They fought hard. A few guardians were startled by Rose and Christian's presence, but they soon all settled into a steady rhythm of fighting. Christian used fire in short bursts against the monsters, assisting Rose and others as they fought.

"Rose?"

Rose nearly froze when the speaker came into focus. Natalie Dashkov approached, grinning madly at her. Blood was staining her lips, and her once green eyes were ringed in red.

"Natalie."

They circled one another.

"I'm so glad to see you again. Are you having fun?"

Rose glared. She tried to stay focused but seeing a former acquaintance as a Strigoi was startling. "I can't say the same. You don't look so good as a monster."

Natalie let out an ear-splitting shriek, dashing toward Rose. Natalie's attack was quick and uncoordinated. Rose dodged, then spun. She slammed her stake into Natalie. The fight was over as quickly as it had begun. Rose slid her stake out of Natalie's heart, and the girl fell to the ground with a hideous wheeze of death.

* * *

Strigoi breached Lissa's dorm. Eddie, Mason, and other senior novices were quick to volunteer their assistance. A few novices grabbed spare stakes from the lobby's front desk. Mason grabbed an axe from beside the fire extinguisher.

Mason swung his axe into the first Strigoi he saw. He caught the woman in her arm. She screamed, backing up in shock. He swung again, landing a blow on her shoulder. She fell to the ground, struggling to get away. He aimed the axe at her head, cleaving it from her with a few quick strokes.

They quickly pushed the fight back outside. Mason lost track of the battle. He focused only on the opponent in front of him. He had just killed another Strigoi when the girl startled him.

At first, Mason thought the girl was a Moroi or a dhampir student. She was small, barely five feet tall. Of course, he quickly realized that something was wrong. Her hair was purple, pulled up in a French braid. She wore a black leather jacket and dark jeans. And her skin was chalk white.

Mason realized a moment too late that she moved too fast. She was faster than any of the other Strigoi. She was faster than the one Rose and Eddie had killed in Spokane.

Her hands closed around the axe before he had the chance to swing. She was too fast. She was too strong.

He fell to the ground from the force of her yanking the axe away. A wicked smile gleamed on her lips.

"Your ingenuity is commendable."

Before he had the chance to move or speak, she swung the axe down. Mason screamed. She threw the axe away. She knelt beside him, only for a moment. "My name is Sofia. If you are lucky, you may yet live to talk about this day."

Mason looked at her, screaming. His body trembled in shock. He watched as she stood, carrying with her the hand she had severed from his wrist.

She ran. She ran too fast for anyone to stop her.

Blood spurted from the stump of Mason's hand. He screamed. He shuddered.

Hands held him down. He struggled. He wanted to fight the monsters. Mason stilled when he realized that two guardians where holding him. Guardian Alto slipped a belt over Mason's arm, creating a tourniquet to stop the bleeding.

They dragged him back inside the building. Dimly, Mason realized that most of the Strigoi had left with the monster who had stolen his hand. He was too weak to realize that some of the people who had been in the fight were gone too.

* * *

Brandon fought Strigoi in multiple areas throughout the battle. His group was on active offense. They pursued Strigoi, trying to prevent them from getting further into campus.

He lost count of his kills. His clothes were slick with blood and sweat. He was running on adrenaline and little else.

A pack of Strigoi ran toward Brandon and his team. The monsters were carrying hostages. Brandon jumped into the battle. He wouldn't let the monsters take these people away. Neither would his colleagues.

Brandon ran toward the nearest Strigoi. The man was slow to dodge Brandon's strike because he was carrying a girl over his shoulder. The girl fell to the ground as Brandon slammed into the Strigoi. She cried out in pain and terror.

The Strigoi let out a guttural shout of rage, turning on Brandon. He struck Brandon with a fist, connecting with his shoulder. Brandon grunted in pain as something popped in his arm. He continued fighting, but he couldn't move his left arm effectively anymore.

The guardians were outnumbered. While most of the Strigoi continued running, some swarmed Brandon and his four colleagues. A few of the hostages were freed, and they ran back toward the center of the school's campus. Other hostages disappeared into the darkness beyond the school's boundaries, carried off by Strigoi.

He wasn't going to make it, some part of Brandon realized. He was outnumbered and injured. He thought of his friends and the woman he loved who were somewhere on campus. Celeste and Dimitri would be fighting. Ivan would hopefully be somewhere safe.

Even as Brandon staked the Strigoi who had injured his arm, another Strigoi grabbed him from behind. Fangs sank into his neck. He struggled to fight back. He couldn't stop the Strigoi.

* * *

Dimitri was fighting near the elementary dorms. He only had a moment to be amazed at the sight of Rose and Christian fighting off a swarm of Strigoi. He moved toward them, killing the monsters who got in his way. He saw Rose glance his way once in the battle, but there was no time for more than just a glance. They were both still alive and fighting.

In the back of Dimitri's mind, he was aware of a constant thrum of fear coming from Ivan. Having been in the thick of battle since the start of the attack, Dimitri had not had time to check on his bond mate. Dimitri wanted to go to Ivan, to protect him, but he couldn't run from the battle in front of him.

Fear spiked through the bond. Dimitri stumbled, sucked briefly into the terrified mind of Ivan Zeklos. Ivan was outside. He had been walking back to guest housing from the library when the attack began. He had spent the entire battle outside, hiding amongst trees and shrubs to stay hidden. He was too far from any building to make a straight run, and there were too many Strigoi around for him to believe running was a safe option. Making his way toward guest housing seemed like his best option. He had been making slow progress. He could see the guest building. Then he was tackled to the ground.

"Dimitri!"

Rose's voice pulled Dimitri back to himself. She was standing above him, pulling her stake out of a female Strigoi.

"Ivan." It was the only word Dimitri could say, gasping it out with pain. Rose's eyes went wide with shock. "I have to go to him."

Rose nodded. She glanced toward Mikhail. "Mikhail, Dimitri and I are going after Ivan. Christian, stay here."

For the briefest moment, fear shone in Christian's eyes. He nodded toward Rose, then lit the next Strigoi on fire.

Dimitri ran. Rose followed him, heart thudding in her chest. She knew that Dimitri had stumbled for one reason- he had been pulled into the bond. She knew that Ivan must be in danger.

They were making their way toward the guest apartments, but the building wasn't in sight yet. Dimitri screamed, falling to the ground, his hands on his head. Fear clawed at Rose, threatening to overwhelm her.

"Dimitri!" She crouched next to him. "Please, please, I need you. What's happening?"

Dimitri moaned in pain, shaking violently. He couldn't breathe. Ivan had been fighting. He had been using telekinesis to push back his Strigoi attacker.

"I need you, please."

Dimitri looked up at Rose, seeing the fear in her eyes. He felt for Ivan. He felt for the bond. There was only a cold sense of loss. Of emptiness.

"Please." Rose's voice was a terrified whisper.

"He's dead." His voice was hollow. The darkness that had flowed through the bond in its last moments threatened to crush Dimitri.

He stood, pulling Rose up by the hand. He needed to kill the monster who had taken his friend from him. Dimitri ran toward the guest apartments. Rose ran with him.

Dimitri stopped when the building was in sight. He scanned the area. He saw where Ivan had fallen. Nothing was there. He frantically paced the area.

Rose watched him. She scanned the area for threats. Everything was too quiet where they stood. She saw Dimitri fall to the ground again, face in his hands. She was terrified, and a hollow ache was growing in her chest. She approached Dimitri, watching the area carefully.

Rose saw blood on the ground. She could see evidence of a fight, but there was no body. "Dimitri?"

Dimitri looked up at her, empty and numb. "He's gone."

Something twisted inside Rose. Gone? What did Dimitri mean. "Did they take him?"

He slammed his stake into the ground, letting a sliver of spirit's darkness fill him. Rose flinched. "No, they leave dead bodies."

Rose's eyes widened. "No, no… you don't think…" She couldn't finish the thought. She couldn't comprehend what Dimitri already believed.

"They turned him." Dimitri stood again, giving himself over to the darkness and rage. Everything that was Dimitri fled behind a black curtain. "We need to go back." He needed to kill something.

With a trembling nod, Rose followed Dimitri toward the center of campus to hunt down the remaining Strigoi. They fought until the sky lightened, and the Strigoi were either dead or gone.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _I'm sorry..._

 _Ch. 19 took forever for me to write because I knew this was the next chapter._

 _Dear anon who was asking about Rose and Mason's relationship. They dated from ages 16-17. As far as kids who are 14/15 having sex and falling in love, yes I think it's young, but I have had several friends who were that young when they first had sex or fell in love. I have a friend who had her first child at 15, which is what some of Mia's experience is based on in this story._

 _Our concepts of love change over time. Even our love toward the same person changes over time. Life is like that._

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting. You make me smile._

 _Critiques are welcomed :)_


	21. Monsters

"Lissa, you need to come with me."

Lissa looked toward the door where Celeste was standing. Lissa stood from where she sat with her classmates and Adrian. She saw bruises and scratches on Celeste and wanted to heal.

Celeste closed the door to the lounge and walked quickly with Lissa. "The Strigoi are leaving. We need your healing."

"Of course. Ivan, Sonya, and Adrian will willingly help too."

"I'm sure they will." Celeste released a ragged breath. "Right now, we need you to heal Mason. He'll die without medical attention. This building has been secured again, but we can't get him blood or anything else yet."

The fear Lissa had been living with for hours overflowed. She couldn't breathe for a moment.

'You can help,' she reminded herself. Drawing a few deep breaths, Lissa followed Celeste to an office on the ground floor.

A Moroi teacher was sitting on the floor, her lap cradling Mason's head. Mason's skin was ghostly white. His face, shirt, and pants were all caked in blood. Her eyes at last fell upon his right hand, oddly rounded and covered with bloody cloths. She saw a belt around that arm as well.

Lissa's magic rose to the surface. She could heal him. She needed to heal him. "What happened?"

"His hand was cut off," Celeste choked out.

"What?" Lissa snapped out of her spirit daze, turning to look at Celeste. Horror crept inside, seizing her heart. "I… is it here?"

Celeste shook her head. "No."

Lissa knelt beside Mason and the teacher as tears welled in her eyes. She touched Mason, letting spirit rise again. She could feel the warmth and light of her magic flow into him. She couldn't regrow a hand, but she could revive him.

Her lessons came back to her. The months she had spent with Ivan, Sonya, and Adrian learning to control spirit. She didn't need to fix him, stabilizing him would be enough.

Mason's breathing grew deeper. His eyes fluttered a few times before opening. Lissa stopped her magic. "Lissa?"

She forced a smile. "The battle's almost done. I healed you as best I can."

Celeste knelt with them. "Breathe, Ashford."

He drew deep breaths, trying to quell his hysteria. "My hand?" He glanced toward the bloody wrappings around his forearm.

Lissa shook her head. A sob escaped her lips. She had a feeling that it would be the first of many times that day when she would cry. "I can't fix that. I'm so sorry."

Mason closed his eyes again, letting his tears fall freely. He had been right handed. He would never be a guardian.

* * *

Dimitri and Rose were near the elementary dorms again when the last Strigoi on the campus were killed. The sun had risen over the mountains. Morning had broken at last.

Dimitri knelt on the cold earth, closing his eyes. His world was too quiet. The darkness he had absorbed in the end had burned away in rage and battle lust. Now there was just coldness and void.

Rose approached Dimitri first, not saying anything. She saw the bodies on the ground. Strigoi and guardians and Moroi lay strewn across the grassy lawn. She thought of Ivan and shuddered with the horror of what she knew.

Christian walked up to them. He was breathing heavily, and his sweat-slick hair was plastered to his neck. Worry creased his face when he looked at Dimitri. "What happened?"

Dimitri met Christian's gaze. His thoughts turned from the young man in front of him to Tasha. How could he tell them? The words came numbly from his lips. "Ivan is dead."

Christian's reaction was immediate. "No. No. No." He shook his head, face contorting with pain and anger. "He can't be dead." Christian sank to the ground next to Dimitri. "He can't. Please."

Dimitri didn't cry. He wanted to, but he couldn't. "I felt his fear. He fought. We ran to him, but when we got there-" Dimitri shook his head.

"The body was gone," Rose finished quietly.

Christian looked at her, shaking his head back and forth. "How do you know he's dead then?"

"The bond is gone," Dimitri answered. "I felt it break before I could get to him."

Christian's hands clenched into fists. "You think they turned him?"

Rose looked away. She looked away from the death around her. She reached inside her own bond, needing to know that Lissa was safe.

Rose saw that Lissa and Adrian were healing guardians and a few novices. Rose joined Dimitri and Christian on the ground as the story of Lissa's dorm entered her mind. She saw the novices entering the fight. She saw Lissa healing Mason and learned that Mason would never fight again. She realized that Eddie was missing.

Strong arms enveloped Rose. Dimitri pulled her and Christian into a tight embrace. They clung together for a long time. Rose and Christian wept bitterly. Dimitri still couldn't cry.

* * *

After Lissa's dorm was deemed clear and secure, attendance was checked. Students, staff, and guests were marked off on lists. Students were ordered to their rooms. Non-residents of that building were instructed to stay in the common room on the ground floor until more buildings were cleared.

Lissa and Adrian were led to a makeshift medical center on the ground floor. Medically trained staff tended to minor injuries of guardians, staff, and students. Lissa and Adrian healed severe injuries.

Mason was not the only person whose injuries were life threatening. Some guardians had fractured bones. A few had broken ribs or internal bleeding from hits taken to the abdomen. One had a skull fracture from being slammed into a wall.

When they were cleared to go to the medical clinic, Adrian and Lissa went to tend to more injuries. They saw the dead as they walked through the campus. No one was assigned to gathering the dead yet.

Lissa froze the first time she saw a body. He had been a teacher. Lissa stared at the bloody ruin that was his neck. She had only seen death twice before- in the car accident with Rose and when the guardians rescued her from Victor Dashkov. She couldn't comprehend this violence, it was almost too much.

"Come on," Celeste said gently. She squeezed Lissa's arm. "We will mourn them all later. For now, we need to help."

Lissa nodded mutely. She wiped away the tears from her face as they walked to the medical clinic.

Adrian was just as stunned as Lissa. He had never seen such violence before. He had never been in so much danger before. His life had always been safe and comfortable. Pushing aside his fear, he remembered that he now had a purpose. He could heal. Knowing that he could do something was the only thing keeping him grounded as he walked past the dead.

* * *

Rose and Christian were separated from Dimitri and ordered into the elementary dorm to wait for further instructions. They settled on chairs in the common room.

Some of the Moroi staff gave snacks to everyone. Neither Rose nor Christian could eat. Rose did drink soda, and Christian went to the feeders who were kept in the elementary dorms. They also cleaned up in the restrooms as best they could, though blood stained their clothes.

They didn't talk. The entire building was eerily quiet. The building was also colder than expected, which Rose and Christian learned was due to water users freezing entry points. They both smiled weakly at the knowledge that Jill was likely the inspiration for that line of defense.

Rose wanted to be with Dimitri, but she knew that he was doing what he needed to do. He needed to be a guardian. He needed to secure the academy and work with the other guardians. Her heart ached for him. Her heart ached for everyone. She wondered how many people were dead.

"I'll have to tell Aunt Tasha," Christian said softly.

Rose looked at him from across the table where they sat. "That's… I'm sure the school can if… if it's too much."

He shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I knew it couldn't last. Everything was so good- you know? And good things always end, always break, always crumble into dust."

Rose didn't respond. She had no words.

"I killed Natalie Dashkov," she said a long time later. "Her body is out there with the others."

"I saw."

Silence fell again, eventually broken by the arrival of Sonya and Jill from elsewhere in the dorm.

"You're both okay," Jill said with relief. "We haven't been able to learn anything."

Rose stood and hugged Jill. "It was bad. Lissa and Adrian are healing people. They're heading over to the medical clinic soon."

"I've been asked to help as well," Sonya said. "That's why I came down with Jill. We were told you were down here, and she wanted to know about Lissa."

Rose nodded, releasing Jill. Rose and Jill sat. "Lissa is shaken, but she'll be okay. It's awful." She looked at Sonya. "Have you talked to Eric and Rhea yet?"

Sonya shook her head. "I know that they're waiting to send a message to everyone's families until we know all the details. It should be soon." She studied Rose and Christian briefly. "I heard that both of you fought."

"We did," Rose said. "Christian showed just how effective fire can be against Strigoi."

"It wasn't enough," Christian muttered.

"What?" Jill looked at him in confusion.

He looked at her, blinking back tears. "Ivan is dead. Worse, they think he was turned."

Sonya and Jill stared at Rose and Christian with stricken expressions.

"I'm so sorry," Sonya said.

Rose swallowed the lump in her throat. "Lissa can't know yet. It would be too much."

"I won't tell her," Sonya promised. "Not until the time is right. I'll see all of you later." She walked away with a guardian, off to the clinic to heal the injured.

* * *

Lissa noticed Ivan's absence as her time in the medical clinic sped by. The injured stopped coming- other than the guardians with cuts, bruises, and scrapes who had been securing the school or gathering the dead.

"Ivan should be here," Lissa said quietly to Adrian and Sonya. "Where is he?" Her unspoken question- where was he during the battle?

Sonya drew a deep breath. "Rose said that Ivan-" The words caught in her throat. "Ivan is dead, possibly turned."

Adrian caught Lissa as she nearly collapsed. He turned Lissa toward his chest and held her as she began to sob. The news was too much, too harsh. She couldn't handle it.

Adrian held Lissa as she sobbed, running a soothing hand along her back. He tried murmuring something comforting but was at a loss for words. They could have died. They had lost at least one friend. Nothing was alright.

Lissa quieted after several minutes. "I need to see Christian."

"Soon," Sonya promised. "I don't think they want anyone out of secured buildings yet."

They took seats on a bench nearby, drained from lack of sleep, heightened emotions, and over use of spirit. Lissa tipped her head back, resting it against the wall. She didn't close her eyes. She didn't want to see images of the dead and wounded.

Mason and a few others were still in the clinic, needing blood transfusions to help with their recovery. Lissa's healing of Mason had been the most difficult on every level. He would have died if Lissa hadn't intervened, and she knew it. She had felt how weak he was when she healed him. Knowing that there were other injured people had been the only thing holding her back from healing him completely. Mason was a friend. He had been her assigned protector for almost two months. He had been Rose's boyfriend only a year earlier, and Rose's friend since they were all children.

A few silent tears still slid down her cheeks. Ivan. How could Ivan be dead? "How do they know he was turned?"

Sonya shook her head. "Rose and Christian mentioned it, but I didn't press them for details."

Lissa looked up, eyes going wide. "Dimitri! Is he okay?"

"I don't know," Sonya replied quietly. "I know that he talked with Rose and Christian before they went to the middle school dorm's common room. Rose and Christian both fought." A small smile flickered across her lips. "Jill encouraged everyone in her dorm to use magic defensively. She and other water users froze doors and windows shut, just in case."

Adrian chuckled at Sonya's words.

A faint smile ghosted on Lissa's lips. "My brave little sister. I don't know which of us causes my parents more stress."

"Your brother," Adrian said wryly.

An unbidden laugh escaped Lissa's lips. It felt wrong to laugh on a day filled with so much death, pain, and grief. She drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. She needed to see Christian and Rose and Jill. She needed sleep. She wanted to go home.

* * *

Rose and Christian walked to the commons in the upper campus when they were finally allowed to leave Jill's dorm. The middle school students were going to an assembly in the lower campus' cafeteria. The elementary students were going to an assembly in the elementary gymnasium. The high school students would have the same meeting in the upper campus' commons. Food would be there for the students if they wanted to eat.

They found Lissa and Adrian in the commons. After hugging each other fiercely, the four friends found seats together. The hush in the room, even as people were finding seats, felt unnatural.

Headmistress Kirova stood on a raised platform and quickly had the attention of the entire room. She was pale and drawn. Grief lined her face. Drawing a deep breath, she addressed the room.

"As all of you know, our school was attacked today." She paused, voice thick with emotion. "Many lives were lost, but many more survived. How our wards were breached is under investigation. Your parents and legal custodians have been contacted with news of the attack. They were also sent a list of casualties as they stand."

Kirova paused again, holding up a sheet of paper from which she began to read. "Assemblies are being held presently in the lower campus, though the information our youngest students are being told will be less detailed than what you are being told now. At present, we believe that at least fifty Strigoi were on campus. Twenty-Nine Strigoi were killed. Our brave guardians, along with some of our novices, and at least one Moroi student are responsible for those kills."

Lissa squeezed Christian's hand.

"Our defenders fought well and fought bravely. Thirteen guardians and one novice were killed. Twenty Moroi were killed. Fifteen others, both Moroi and dhampir, are missing. One novice has been left with a permanent injury."

Rose clenched her jaw and fists. The numbers were horrifying. She looked around as the mentions of novices sank in. She knew that Mason was in recovery, and that he was the one with a permanent injury. She didn't see Eddie or Meredith anywhere.

"We have many people to thank for their efforts in fighting, defending, and healing. Your work has not gone unnoticed." She looked toward Rose, Lissa, Christian, and Adrian briefly before continuing. "For the next several days, classes are suspended. We will be on a daylight schedule. You are all restricted to your dorms outside of meal times. I know that many of you have younger brothers and sisters in the lower campus. We will arrange groups to escort you to and from the dorms to meet with siblings later today. At this time, we do not want any unauthorized persons walking around freely on campus."

Kirova closed her eyes for a moment, seeming to steady herself. "I will now read the list of those who died and follow it with the list of those who are missing."

The names on the lists were like knives through Rose's soul. She knew most of them, a few were friends. Meredith was dead. Brandon was dead. Eddie was missing. Ivan was missing, though Rose knew he had been turned. A group of royal students had been killed or was missing. It struck Rose that the names of those students- Abby Badica, Jesse Zeklos, and Ralph Sarcozy- had been part of the mână thing that Meredith had mentioned weeks earlier. Abby was missing. Jesse and Ralph were dead.

Rose couldn't breathe. She couldn't sit still. She couldn't think. Eddie had to be saved. He was missing, but there had to be a way to save him. She couldn't have him die too. The instant Rose felt like she could get out of the room, she escaped.

Rose ran to the guardians' building. She had been invited to attend a guardian meeting in a few hours, but she needed to do something now. She couldn't sit still and allow grief to swallow her. She needed to know that they would get Eddie back.

She thought that Dimitri could help her find a way to convince everyone to go after the missing people. Even if he couldn't, she needed to see him. Rose was worried about him, worried because he had lost Ivan and Brandon.

At the door of the building, Rose nearly ran into another woman- her mother. After exchanging startled greetings, Rose asked Janine Hathaway to convince the guardians to go after the missing people. Janine was reluctant to agree. After all, they had no idea where to look for the missing.

Rose bit her lip in thought, a horrible idea occurring to her. She swallowed. "I think I have a way."

"What?"

"I can ask the ghosts."

Janine's eyes widened in disbelief. "You can do that?"

Rose nodded grimly. "I think so. It's worth trying, right?"

Considering it briefly, Janine gave her daughter a brisk nod. "I need to check in-"

"That's alright," Rose interrupted. "Dimitri and I can do it."

Janine laid a hand on Rose's arm, squeezing it. "Be careful."

"I will be; I promise. Can you help me find Dimitri?"

Janine let go and helped locate Dimitri among the other guardians. They found him standing with others around a map of campus. Janine walked away to check in. Dimitri saw Rose and walked to her.

His face was a distant mask, which Rose found very troubling. His voice, however, was gentle and warm. "What do you need?"

"I have an idea for us to rescue the people they took."

Dimitri's eyebrows rose. "You do?"

She grimaced before the words left her mouth. "We can ask the dead."

"Rose…" He was wary.

Anger rose in her. "Thirty-four people are dead. You don't think their spirits want revenge or to help rescue the lost?"

Dimitri closed his eyes. "Do you really want to see your dead friends as ghosts?"

"If that's what it takes to keep Eddie alive, yes." Rose's voice shook with fervent emotion, though she controlled her volume so that they weren't overheard. "I can't lose him too. He could still be alive."

He softened. "Okay, let's go talk to some ghosts."

After excusing himself from the guardians, they walked across campus together toward the main entrance. Silence accompanied them. Rose looked around, catching glimpses of the damage done just before dawn. She saw blood staining the ground.

"Where are the bodies?"

"In the gym," he answered quietly. "We put them in the gym." He swallowed hard. "The Strigoi were gathered in a different area to be destroyed."

She nodded slowly, numbly. "How are Strigoi destroyed?"

"The Alchemists have a compound that dissolves dead bodies, although these probably already burned up in the sunlight."

Rose stopped in her tracks, staring at Dimitri. "What?"

"They won't give us the formula, so we need to either call Alchemists to work with us as clean up, or we can leave the bodies out in the sun to burn up."

"Oh." She couldn't quite process all of that at the moment. They continued walking. "Natalie Dashkov is dead. I staked her."

"Are you okay with that?"

"I don't know. I don't think any of this feels real right now. How can they all be dead? Meredith and Brandon and Ivan… How? And Mason lost his hand. He can never be a guardian." She stopped talking as the lump in her throat grew. She didn't want to cry again, not when there was a mission to accomplish.

"I know." His words were soft as a breath.

She looked at him, slowly realizing again how much Dimitri had lost. "Are you okay?"

"No," he said honestly.

"I'm sorry. Losing them both…" She shook her head.

"Everyone lost someone today."

She quietly agreed. "Yeah."

They were silent again until reaching the gates. Dimitri talked to the guardian on duty, who allowed them outside. They walked several paces away, past the line of the wards.

"Can you still feel the ghosts?" Rose asked.

"Yes," he replied, a bit surprised. "Are you ready?"

She swallowed. Was she? No, not really. "As much as I'll ever be." She let out a deep breath. "Okay, let's do this."

They let their mental walls drop and looked at the dead. The ghosts flickered around them, some faint and some vibrant. The newest dead, the ones who had lived at the academy only hours earlier, soon moved to the front. Rose and Dimitri called for different ghosts.

"Meredith."

"Brandon."

The shades of Meredith and Brandon soon came to them. Rose and Dimitri pushed away the other spirits with their wills. Soon, only the translucent forms of Meredith and Brandon stood close to them.

Rose forced herself to draw deep breaths. Seeing her dead friends as ghosts was almost too much to handle. Dimitri clasped her hand, and that small gesture was oceans of comfort. She squeezed his hand for reassurance and strength.

"Brandon," Dimitri began. "I'm sorry. I… can you understand us?"

Brandon and Meredith nodded.

"But you can't talk?" Rose asked.

They nodded.

Rose continued. "I'm sorry you're both gone, dead. I… we wanted to know if you could help us. They took people from the school. They took Eddie." Her voice caught in her throat.

Dimitri noticed the shift in the two ghosts at the mention of the missing people. They seemed more alert, more agitated. "Can you help us find them?"

They nodded emphatically.

"Are they nearby?" Dimitri asked.

Yes.

"Is Eddie alive?" Rose asked.

Yes.

"Where?" Rose's voice had a panicked quality.

They stared at Rose for a moment before pointing back toward the school. After a few moments of confused questioning, Dimitri got a map from the guard at the gate. When he returned, Brandon and Meredith pointed at an area of the map a few miles away from the school in the middle of the forests. With more frustrated questions that could only be answered yes or no by the two ghosts and another trip to the guard at the booth, Rose and Dimitri learned that there was a large cavern complex on the far side of the school. It was a place large enough for the Strigoi to hide until sunset.

"Thank you," Dimitri said. He held the gaze of his partner's ghost. "I wish you were still with us."

Brandon nodded.

"Can you sense Ivan?"

The instantaneous change in Brandon's expression made Dimitri and Rose take a step back. Brandon was hard, angry. His nod was terse.

Dimitri swallowed hard. "Did they turn him? Is he a Strigoi?"

Yes.

Rose clasped Dimitri's hand, squeezing it as pain flashed across his face.

"Thank you," Dimitri said tightly. "We should go. I'll miss you."

Brandon nodded sadly.

Rose looked at both of them, trembling. "I hope you can both find rest. I'll miss both of you too. I'll give everyone your love."

The two spirits didn't fade, so Rose and Dimitri closed the walls of their minds to the ghosts. They walked back to campus in silence. They didn't hold hands as they passed the guards, but they did again when no one was in sight. They walked through silent wooded paths, the weight of the day heavy on them both.

Dimitri stopped, the sudden movement startling Rose. Before she could talk or question what was wrong, he kissed her. The press of his lips against hers was urgent and fierce. One of his hands pressed against her lower back, drawing her close. Another hand cradled her neck, fingers tangling in her hair.

Rose wrapped her arms around his neck, needing to feel that he was close and alive. When they broke apart, breathless, Dimitri cupped her face with his hands. Her eyes were blurred with tears. His face was tear-streaked as well.

Drawing several shaking breaths, Dimitri pressed his forehead to hers. "I could have lost you. You could have died last night."

"I didn't." She swallowed back her tears, closing her eyes. "We're both alive."

He wrapped his arms around her, standing straighter. She was crushed against his chest. "I don't think I could handle losing you too."

"You won't," she promised. "I'm still here." Shakily, they pulled apart. "Let's go convince the guardians to save a few more lives."

* * *

Ivan Zeklos' first few moments as a Strigoi were disorienting. A moment of pain. A moment of darkness. A moment when his eyes opened, and the world was entirely new to him.

"Run," his creator said.

Ivan ran with his creator, a male. The screams and scent of blood in the air were distracting. They ran past the boundary of the school to caverns nearby. More of their kind arrived in batches, some brought captives from the school.

"This one is yours to taste," his maker said.

Ivan looked at the man. He had been a teacher at the school, someone Ivan had talked to and played chess with more than once. A few Strigoi had already bitten him. Ivan's mouth watered. He lowered his mouth to the man's neck and bit. The blood was warm and sweet. Ivan had never tasted anything so intoxicating in his life. The man was dead before Ivan dropped him.

They waited in the caves until they could escape at nightfall. Some of the Strigoi talked to him, explaining the basics of the new world into which Ivan had been reborn. His maker paid no more attention to him, and Ivan wanted nothing to do with the man. Some part of him despised his maker.

"There are rules," a man with long blonde hair said. "You probably thought that we're all lawless. We are. However, if you want to live more than a few days, there are some basic guidelines."

"Are you going to tell the new one to drink blood and not to walk in the sun?" One of the Strigoi mocked. Several others cackled with laughter.

"Enough," a woman commanded.

Ivan and the others looked toward her. She was a petite thing, barely over five feet tall. Her long hair was dyed in varying shades of purple and hung in a braid. She wore black leather and seemed very young at first glance. Upon further consideration, there was a coldness to her that made her seem far older than her looks. Instinct sent a chill through Ivan. Somehow, he knew that she was old and very powerful. Ivan realized from the deference of the other Strigoi that the woman was a leader of some kind.

"When we leave at nightfall, we will all go our own ways. You can work with a more organized group, or you can go off on your own. Being on your own often leads to a faster death. Being weak will get you killed. Some regions are claimed. Do not anger the leader of a region if you are unwilling to face the consequences."

"Which region do you lead?" Ivan asked.

She smiled darkly. " _This_ is my territory. I have watched this region for a very, very long time." She motioned around. "My friends and I decided to have some fun. This was quite the battle to arrange."

"And it was quite the success," the blond man said. "I suppose we'll have to get rid of the rest of our meal before we leave."

"Of course," purple hair replied. "Do be sure to give my regards to Galina when you return to her." She looked at the others. "And my regards to the leaders in your regions. They will be talking about this one for years."

Cheers and laughter rang out in the cavern, echoing loudly. Ivan and a large group of Strigoi went to a lower cavern while others remained in the upper caverns with the food. Ivan paced impatiently for some of the time. His eyes always flicked to the elder female Strigoi. There was something about her that seemed familiar, though he didn't know why.

The attack happened while they waited. Most of the Strigoi ran out of the deep cavern to fight but many more remained in waiting. Ivan watched the leader. She didn't move. She barely blinked at the sounds of battle echoing through the cavern.

Every instinct in Ivan's body screamed for him to run into the battle. He wanted to fight. He wanted to kill. A higher reasoning told him to follow strength. He wanted to follow her. She studied him as well, eyes intently watching his every move. She was a predator, beautiful and lethal.

Fewer Strigoi returned to them when all was said and done. They all left the deep caverns when the sounds of battle died. The sun had set.

"They got the food," the blonde man announced at the entrance to the upper cavern. The others began walking toward him as he continued, "and they used fire. There was some kid using fire in the school too."

"Kid?" Ivan asked.

"Black haired kid," the blonde replied.

Ivan chuckled. "Christian Ozera. Maybe the Moroi will finally start being a challenge."

"Perhaps, though I doubt it." The woman seemed amused. "We should all leave. They will return at sun-up." She looked at Ivan, pointing to a corpse on the ground. "Your maker is dead. Where do you want to go?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Sure," the man said. Others were filtering past them, into the night. "You could come with me to Russia, work with Galina."

The woman laughed. "Work _for_ Galina. Nathan, you work for Galina, not with her." Nathan growled at her. She bared her fangs in a dangerous smile. "Do you really want to fight me Nathan? I am far older than your mistress."

Nathan inclined his head slightly. "No, Sofia, I don't want to fight you."

"Wise."

Ivan made his choice. "I want to follow you, Sofia."

She turned to him and touched his cheek with a gentle hand. "Good choice."

Ivan ran with Sofia and two other Strigoi, a man and a woman, to a van which was waiting for them several miles away from St. Vladimir's. Other Strigoi had cars waiting there as well, though others kept running to their escape points. A human drove their van to a cabin about an hour away from the school.

"Greg and Dahlia are two of my best workers," Sofia said as they drove. "I had another worker named Isaiah who was even better. He ran the attacks against the royal houses a few months ago. Some young ones killed him in Spokane around New Year's Day. We had a little Dashkov girl working with us today, but she did not return from the school. Another servant helped us finish breaking the wards. He was a Moroi. He Awakened himself but failed to make it out as well."

"Natalie Dashkov?" Ivan asked.

"Yes. She was an interesting child. She Awakened herself for her father, and then she ate him. A shame she did not make it back; she was becoming quite the good spy for me."

Sofia talked while Ivan asked questions. The other two Strigoi, Greg and Dahlia, remained silent. The most Ivan saw from the pair was Greg removing a plastic bag, containing a hand, out of a coat pocket. The human driver also remained silent. Ivan longed to sink his teeth into the human but knew that the driver was off limits.

"Do not eat the servants," Sofia ordered. "We need humans to work for us in the human world, and they are ever so tedious to train properly." She spoke about the humans as though they were pets.

When they arrived at the cabin, Sofia dismissed everyone except for Ivan. She showed him around. The cabin was an estate. So deep in the forests that it was almost cut off from the world, there was solar power for electricity. She showed him a series of rooms- library, kitchen for the servants, bedrooms, food room, ossuary, gym, sitting rooms. She ended at a rather sparse bedroom.

"This is your room. We do not sleep, but this is your private space. I will have a computer set up for you. There is the library where you can read anything you want. You may bring books to your room. You can keep a bed companion if you want, but only if the creature is willing. I do not permit blood-whores on my property. There are places out there for that sort of entertainment if you so desire, but not here."

Ivan looked at her curiously. "We can have sex?"

She laughed, looking very young. She hopped on the bed, grinning at him. "Of course, we can. Feel the steady beat of your heart. You are more now than you ever were in life. We eat. We breathe. We have no need of sleep. We are faster and stronger than most other creatures on the planet. Only the sun hinders us."

Ivan leaned against the doorframe, watching her, processing her words. "How old are you?"

"What an impolite question to ask a lady." She laughed again. "I was just a girl when I was Awakened. The year was 1817, and I lived in Philadelphia."

"You're nearly two hundred years old." He was stunned.

"And I do not look a day over seventeen years old. My family moved to America to escape the increasing Strigoi threat in Bukovina. We came to this continent with half the family court."

"Court? You were a royal?"

"Duchess Sofia Yelizaveta Zeklos, eldest daughter of Prince Vladimir Kristof Zeklos."

Ivan blinked in astonishment. He remembered seeing a portrait of her face only weeks earlier when he and Tasha had been researching Moroi magic. "We're cousins. I'm descended from his brother Aleksander. I'm Ivan Zeklos."

She jumped up, bouncing slightly on her feet. "Well, I guess this is my lucky day. Welcome to my home Ivan Zeklos, my cousin."

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting. You make me smile._

 _Critiques are welcomed :)_


	22. Parting

Rose was not allowed to go on the cave rescue, neither was Dimitri. Due to suggestions from Rose to her mother, a few fire using Moroi teachers went, as did a few senior novices. Rose and the remaining senior novices were assigned positions to guard around campus. They were all given schedules, instructions, and stakes. Dimitri and a different group of guardians were ordered to rest before their on-duty shift began later in the day.

Frustrated as she was by not going on the mission, Rose knew that her job of guarding on campus was important. She walked the perimeter with Ivy. They didn't talk. They were both lost in their own thoughts.

Their shift started before the rescue team left and lasted six hours. After returning to check in at the guardians' building, they were supposed to return to their rooms. Rose considered it, but she decided to go to the guest apartments. She needed to see Dimitri and didn't care what anyone thought.

She knocked on the door to the apartment, hoping that he was awake. He opened the door a few moments after she knocked. Dimitri let Rose inside and closed the door behind her.

She froze at what she saw. Boxes were scattered around the room. Some were sealed with packing tape while others were open. Rose turned to Dimitri.

"You're packing?" Her words came out as a disbelieving whisper.

Dimitri rested his hands on her shoulders. "I packed Brandon's things. I'm working on packing Ivan's belongings." He hesitated, even as she began to look relieved. "I don't have an assignment here, not anymore."

She shook her head. "No…"

He squeezed her shoulders, then wrapped his arms around her. She willingly went into his embrace, though she remained rigid. He kissed the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her. "I don't know what I'm doing next."

Before either of them could say anything, Dimitri's phone rang. He pulled away from Rose, took his phone out of his pocket, and grimaced.

"Tasha," he said quietly. He took a few steps away from Rose and answered the call. He walked to his room as Tasha began to speak.

Rose's heart sank. She slumped onto the couch. As she sat, she began to let Dimitri's words sink in. He would leave her. He would be reassigned somewhere else, to someone else. He would leave her, and she would be alone.

She didn't want to think. She didn't want to overhear Dimitri telling Tasha that Ivan was a Strigoi. Maybe Ivan wouldn't make it out of the caves. Maybe no one would. Rose began to cry again. She let the tears fall until her sleep deprived body sank into the oblivion of sleep.

Rose woke to a gentle touch against her cheek. She blinked open bleary eyes. Dimitri was sitting on the floor beside her. His face was lined with grief and exhaustion. She raised her hands to her eyes, rubbing away the goo of sleep from them. She realized that Dimitri's long, leather duster was laid across her like a blanket.

"How long was I asleep?"

"A few hours." His hand found hers. They twined their fingers together. "The team returned. It was a success in some respects. They got the hostages back. Your mother and Eddie are fine."

"But?"

"Celeste and five other guardians were killed. Two of the hostages were also dead before the team arrived."

Rose closed her eyes. "I wonder if they're together now- Brandon and Celeste."

"I hope so."

She opened her eyes again. "How is Tasha?"

Dimitri shook his head. "Not good. I think her only relief is knowing that Christian is alive and well."

She nodded numbly. "How did this happen? How did they get in?"

"They're investigating every possibility right now."

"What are you going to do?"

He looked away from her, though he still held her hand. His thumb traced idle circles on the back of her hand. "If Ivan is still out there, I'm going after him."

She sat up. "What?"

He looked at her again, sad but determined. "What would you do if it was Lissa?"

The notion stabbed like a shard of ice through Rose's heart. She blinked back more tears. She was starting to get annoyed by all the crying she had done over the past day. She shook her head. She couldn't imagine Lissa dying or being turned. The idea was far too painful.

"I would go after her. I would also go after you if it was you."

He squeezed her hand. "I can't leave him as one of those monsters. If he died during the attack-" He sighed. "That would make things less complicated."

"Are you going to ask Brandon?"

"Yes, but I have to wait until my shift is over."

She nodded. "You can't just abandon the guardians. How would you survive without money? What if… what if you guard Tasha? Would she go after Ivan too?"

Dimitri considered her suggestion for a few moments. "She might." He stood, pulling his duster off her. "I have to go. You should go back to your room and get some more sleep. I'll let you know when I've made a decision."

"Okay." She stood, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I love you."

He caressed her cheek, then brushed his lips against hers. "I love you too."

They walked together toward her dorm, which was on the way to the guardian's building. They parted at the door, as they had many times over the months since their first meeting. Rose wondered how many more times they would walk together. She wondered when he would leave her. Had it only been a day since everything had been perfect?

She made her way through the rather deserted common room, then up the stairs to her floor. She dreaded it. She dreaded passing Meredith's room. Her friend would never return. Meredith's body and all the other dead lay in the gym. Her spirit walked the world, restless.

Rose passed Ivy's door first. The door was open, and Ivy was packing. Just like the apartment, Ivy's room contained scattered boxes in various states of fullness.

Rose stopped in the doorway, watching her friend pack. Ivy saw Rose when she turned. "Hey."

"Hey. You're leaving too?"

"Yes. I can't be here anymore. I can't do this. I'm not good enough to fight Strigoi. I already told my mom that I'm packing to go home. I'm sorry."

Rose shrugged. What was one more loss? At least Ivy would still be okay. "Did you tell your boyfriend?"

"Not yet, but I think we all knew it would end with the school year no matter what. Guardians don't really have lasting relationships."

Another knife to Rose's heart. "Yeah."

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too. When will you leave?"

"In a few days. My mom has to drive out and is waiting for the all clear." Ivy looked in the direction of Meredith's room. "Did you hear that she died trying to save some of the royals? A couple of the Moroi kids said that Meredith was with them when the attack started. They said that she fought without a weapon and that she pushed some of the fearful ones to run. She died a hero."

Rose sniffed, rubbing her watery eyes. "I'll miss her." She yawned. "Her uncle and a couple of her cousins are on campus, they'll probably clear her room."

"Yeah."

She yawned again. "I'm going to go pass out now. Don't leave without saying goodbye."

"I won't. I promise."

Rose left Ivy and made her way down the hall. Meredith's door was closed. She could have been in bed, asleep. Rose could imagine it without any effort.

She continued to her room, shut herself inside, and went to bed. She fell asleep within moments of laying down.

* * *

Dimitri did his duty that day without thinking or feeling. His friends were dead. Ivan, his bond mate, was gone. Not gone, turned. If Ivan had been killed in the rescue, then Dimitri's future was more certain. He would get a new assignment. If Ivan was still out there, nothing would stop Dimitri from going after his friend.

His mind felt so quiet, too quiet. He had hated the bond once, hated that his thoughts were not his own. It had felt wrong and intrusive, even if it was the price of being saved from death. But he had grown used to Ivan's presence in his mind. He had known Ivan better than anyone in the world. Dimitri had known his friend more than he would ever know another person, even a girlfriend.

The idea of Ivan living as a monster was a horror Dimitri couldn't begin to fathom. He couldn't allow it, wouldn't. He would hunt Ivan to the ends of the Earth if that was what it took to put his friend's spirit to rest. Dimitri owed it to Ivan, because Ivan had restored his life.

The sun was up, and a team of guardians would be going back to the caves to retrieve the dead. Dimitri's shift was over when that team went out. He walked to the gates. He was exhausted, having only slept about two hours since the attack. He should have slept, but he would only sleep after he knew about Ivan.

Dimitri walked down the road past the gate and lowered the walls of his mind. He found it strange to still be connected to the world of ghosts when he was no longer part of a spirit bond. The ghosts surrounded him, pale and translucent. They gathered close, fascinated by his shadow kissed presence. He saw many people who had been at the school among the masses of spirits.

"Brandon," he said firmly. "I need you."

Brandon was soon in front of him. Celeste was at his side. Nearby, Meredith observed. Dimitri felt a strange relief that his friend and partner was with the woman he loved. Death had not parted them for long. Dimitri didn't send the others away, choosing to focus on the three ghosts in front of him.

"Brandon, I need to know something. Is Ivan still out there as a Strigoi."

Brandon hesitated, actually hesitated. Celeste and Meredith both had hard expressions which answered the question before Brandon gave a reluctant nod.

Dimitri closed his eyes for a moment, knowing now what he must do. Opening them again, he focused on Brandon. "I'm going to find him. I won't let him live as a monster."

Brandon's expression became hard. Dimitri knew that if Brandon could talk, he would call Dimitri an idiot. Celeste regarded him neutrally. Meredith, to Dimitri's shock, looked angry. She pointed back at the school, then at him. Dimitri didn't understand what she was trying to convey.

"The school?"

The girl angrily gestured to his hand, then to the school, then to him.

"Rose?"

Meredith nodded emphatically.

"You're mad because I'm going to leave her?"

She nodded again, eyes narrowed. Great, now he would be haunted by Rose's dead friend.

Dimitri sighed. "I love Rose. I've loved her for months now. We've been together for a while. I don't want to leave her, but I can't let Ivan exist as a Strigoi. Rose needs to finish school. She needs to protect Lissa. I don't want to leave her, but I can't stay."

The teenage ghost seemed somewhat pacified, though still obviously upset. Dimitri hadn't realized how many emotions ghosts could display. Of course, he had never actually spoken to the ghosts before.

He looked at Brandon and Celeste again. "Will you stay as ghosts or will you move on? Is there something else?"

Brandon nodded. Holding up two fingers, he shook his head. Holding up three fingers, he nodded again.

"Why are you staying?"

Another look that said Dimitri was clearly an idiot.

"For me?"

Brandon nodded. Celeste and Meredith shook their heads. Dimitri thought that he knew why the other two were staying as ghosts. Celeste would wait for Brandon. Brandon would watch Dimitri. And Meredith would stay because she had died too young, with too much life unfulfilled.

"I'll bring Ivan peace, I swear it. And then I want to know you are at peace too."

Brandon nodded solemnly, and Dimitri closed the walls of his mind.

* * *

The day after the bodies were recovered from the caverns a memorial was held in the school's chapel. The building was packed with students, instructors, and guardians. Rose sat between Lissa and Jill. Dimitri, Sonya, Christian, Eddie, and Adrian all sat near them. They listened as the names of all the dead were read, including Ivan and a Moroi girl whose bodies were gone.

Throughout the memorial some people cried quietly while others sobbed loudly. Some simply stared ahead with blank expressions. The world had changed for everyone at the school, and nothing would be the same again.

Classes were not planned to resume for at least another week. There was a lot for the staff to clean and secure. There were forty-two bodies to send away for burial, either to their families or to a Moroi cemetery. Multiple students were withdrawn from the school, either as transfers or dropouts. Several staff members quit. Sonya Karp was given a full-time teaching position to replace one of the deceased faculty members.

Rose didn't see Dimitri much over the following days. He was on fourteen hour shifts until staffing was finalized at the school. She knew that he was intending to seek out Ivan, and that nothing would dissuade him.

Rose saw her mom a few times for short conversations. Her mom was busy with coordinating the cleanup efforts. For the moment, all they could say was that they were glad each other had survived the battles.

Rose and other volunteer novices were assigned staff duties throughout the days after the attack. Their shifts were only six hours long, but it eased the burdens of the staffed guardians. It was also a good way to pass the time without going crazy from grief.

Rose did spend some time with Lissa and Jill during the week, after the restrictions were relaxed. Christian wasn't around much, preferring solitude. Adrian was completely absent, drinking himself numb in his apartment.

Rose tried to see Mason but learned that he had been sent away for surgery. Her heart broke. She had wanted to see him, to say goodbye at the very least.

After Ivy left and Meredith's family emptied her room, Rose was the only person living in her section of that dorm. It was too quiet. It was too eerie. And yet she didn't request to move her room, and no one made her move. She was glad. She wanted one thing in her life to remain unchanged.

On Friday the guardians gathered for the molnija ceremony. Instead of the regular molnija marks, the guardians and novices who fought and killed in the battles would receive a special mark called a zvezda. The star shaped mark indicated that the bearer had fought in a large battle.

The weight of the ceremony was crushing. So many had been lost, even though more had been saved. Unlike when Rose received her molnija mark, nothing was said about the battle. Those who were going to be marked stood in the front rows, the other guardians stood in rows behind them.

Rose stood between her mother and Dimitri. Nothing could have prepared her for how surreal it felt to be marked beside her boyfriend and her mother.

She received the mark in silence, remembering everyone who had died in the battle. She remembered her friends, classmates, and instructors. She remembered Meredith, Celeste, and Brandon. She thought about Ivan. She thought about Mason. She even thought about Natalie. So much death and loss and pain.

She tried to mingle but ended up in a corner picking at a plate of food. Dimitri joined her a short time later.

"I need to talk with you after we're done here," he said.

"Okay. What about?"

He drew a deep breath and looked away. "Tasha agreed with my decision and suggestion. I'm going to be her guardian."

Rose put down her plate on a nearby table. She wiped a hand across her eyes to brush away the tears that threatened. She swallowed hard. "And you're going after Ivan."

"At some point, yes. We're meeting at court tomorrow. We both need to be present when Ivan's will is read. Afterward, we plan to visit Brandon's family and my own."

"He has family?"

"He has a mother, two brothers, two sisters, and a few nieces and nephews. His oldest brother is a guardian, the rest aren't."

"I didn't know," she said quietly. "Where do they live?"

"California."

"I didn't know that either. I mean, I knew he sounded American, so did Ivan, but I didn't know where he was from. I didn't know so much about everyone who died. Now they're all gone."

He looked at her with kind, sad eyes. "We all die one day. You and I got a second chance. That's why I feel like I owe this to Ivan. I can't allow this to happen to him."

She closed her eyes and drew a steadying breath. "I know."

"We can talk more, later."

She nodded. "Yeah."

Rose threw the remnants of her food away and walked out of the building. To her surprise, Janine soon fell into step with her.

"Hey mom."

"We haven't had much time to talk since I arrived. How are you doing?"

Rose shrugged. "I'm alive."

Janine drew in a deep breath. Her voice was gentle as she spoke. "Give yourself time, what you have been through is not easy."

"Yeah."

They walked along quietly for a few moments. "I'll be going with you tomorrow," Janine said.

"Oh. You're going back to your Moroi?"

"Yes. Everything here is under control."

Rose nodded. Everything was under control, but nothing was normal. Nothing would ever be normal again. "Do they know how the wards broke?"

"We aren't certain, but we believe that students practicing unapproved magic near the wards may have contributed to the wards failing. Natalie Dashkov was able to escape the school when her father used magic on the wards, so this may be a similar case."

Rose stopped in her tracks. Janine regarded her curiously. "Natalie was in the battle. I killed her. She could have told other Strigoi how Victor got them out of the wards."

"It's very possible."

"I wish they had left us alone."

"We all do, but nothing can undo what happened. I'm glad that you are unharmed."

"So many died. I'm glad that you and I and others are fine, but so many more are dead. I lost friends. Mason lost his hand, and I don't know where he is. And Ivan is a Strigoi." Rose looked at her mother, shaking with anger, pain, and sorrow. "How can you face these things year after year?"

Janine laid a comforting hand on her daughter's arm. "Because if I don't, then more Strigoi would walk this world. I didn't choose to be a guardian because it seemed like a fun job. I chose to be a guardian because what I do is necessary, even if it means I must see terrible things. Even though it means I must kill. Even though it means being away from you."

Rose studied her mother in silence for several heart beats. "I understand." For the second time in a few short months, Rose understood her mother in a deeper way.

* * *

Dimitri knocked on the door to Rose's room and entered when she called "come in". He watched her shoving clothes into a bag. "Running away?"

She laughed briefly, turning to look at him. "No, the Dragomirs want us all to come home for the weekend. Christian is coming too. I thought you would know? Mom knew."

"Somehow I missed that. We'll all be on the same flight then."

"Yep. It'll be good to get away. This floor is too quiet now."

"Will you be okay?"

She shrugged. "If I can't handle it they'll let me move down with the junior girls."

He walked to her, holding out his arms. She went to him, burying her face against his chest. He held her close, breathing in the scent of her, feeling her solid warmth.

"I don't want you to leave me."

"I don't want to leave you, but I have to. Even if I wasn't going after Ivan, I can't stay at the academy."

She clutched tighter to him. "I know."

He moved a hand to her cheek, tilting her face up so that she looked into his eyes. He bent to her, brushing his lips against hers.

Their kiss was slow and deep. She brought her arms up, resting them on his shoulders. Her fingers made the journey upward. She caressed his face. She slipped her fingers into his hair.

He memorized everything about that kiss. He memorized the way her lips moved. He memorized her scent, her taste, and the small throaty sounds she made. His fingers memorized the feel of her hair and the smooth curves of her skin.

Leaving her was the hardest thing he had to do. He had no choice, not really. He had to leave the school. The assignment to Tasha was a way stay in Rose's life. They could still find a way to be together- later, after.

They pressed their foreheads together. He wanted more. He wanted to make love to her as if they would never touch again. They might not. But he needed to be honest with himself and with her. If he left, he had to leave completely. Later, when Ivan was gone, they could try again.

"You're going to break up with me," she breathed. Their eyes met. "Aren't you?"

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I love you, but what I'm going to do could take a long time. And I don't know how it will end. I don't want to leave you hoping for me to return. I want you to be free to live your own life."

She stiffened, glaring at him, but she didn't pull away. "You think I'll just move on like this means nothing? You think I'll just forget? That I'll just stop loving you?"

"No," he soothed, "and I won't stop loving you or forget you. I want us to find a way to be together. For now, I need to focus on finding Ivan. I can't worry that I'm neglecting you while I hunt for him. Do you understand that?"

Her lower lip trembled with emotion. She seemed so small and vulnerable, which broke Dimitri's heart. He hated himself for hurting her.

"I get it," she whispered in a voice rough with emotion. "But I hate that you're leaving me."

He caressed her cheek with one hand. "You don't know how much I wish that I could stay, but I can't. I owe Ivan my life. This is the least I can do. When it's done, I want to be with you again."

She looked up at him with fierce determination. "I'll hold you to that."

The corner of his lip curved upward in fond amusement. "I would expect nothing less from you."

He kissed her- feather light. She looked at him with wry humor when he pulled back. "Aren't you breaking up with me?"

"Yes."

She kissed him slowly, thoroughly. "I want you," she breathed against his lips. "In case we don't have a second chance."

His lips found hers- greedy, needy. He drew her hard against himself. He needed her. He needed this moment to last- in case there was no tomorrow. In case they wouldn't have a second chance.

They lost themselves in one another's arms. They memorized every touch, every kiss, every sound pulled from one another's lips. One last time. Something to remember. Something to return to when they could- if they could.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _First note that I can think of is that you don't need to worry about Dimitri guarding Tasha. No shipping that direction in this story. Not giving you spoilers, but I know that many/most/all(?) of you are shipping Rose/Dimitri. Don't give up hope. There's a long journey to come._

 _Let me know if there are any weird typos in this. I caught a couple odd sentences that needed fixed which I should have caught on my edit read through but missed. My commas and punctuation were worse than normal too (sorry)._

 _Posting once every two weeks is easier for the moment since I need to focus on finding my placement for my grad school practicum... which I've been stressing/procrastinating on for a couple months... and it's stressful. (counseling psychology major) Wish me luck, prayers, anything you can on getting that nailed down asap!_

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting. You make me smile._

 _Critiques are welcomed :)_


	23. Hollow

Rose's fingers traced the smooth curve of her necklace. It was a birthday gift, given a few days early. A silver heart from Dimitri. She told herself that she would never take it off. He would come back to her one day, and they would be together again.

She sat in the school's cafeteria, picking at her breakfast. She didn't have much of an appetite. She knew that she should eat. Classes were starting again, which meant training. Training meant using energy, which meant that she should eat. She did try, but she wasn't eating very much.

The field experience had been ended early, so classes would be altered for the novices. Rose didn't know what they would do to change the curriculum. She wasn't sure that she cared either.

She looked up as Lissa approached and took a seat across from her. "Hey."

"Hey," Lissa replied. "Ready for classes?"

Rose shrugged. "As much as I'll ever be. Are you?"

"About the same." Christian and Eddie joined them. "It's so strange with everything that's happened that we're expected to just go on like everything is the same."

"That's life," Christian said. "People die every day, but no one pays attention until it effects their own life."

Lissa frowned but didn't vocalize her disagreement. She wasn't entirely certain that she did disagree.

"The school also has the responsibility to teach us," Eddie said. "It's not easy, but we all have to keep going."

Lissa sighed. "Have you heard anything about Mason?"

Eddie shook his head. "When I called his mom last week she said that Mason appreciated our concern and would call when he was ready."

Rose curled her fingers around the heart pendant. "I wish he would call." Some part of her was thinking of Dimitri, even though they were discussing Mason. It had been two weeks since the attack. She hadn't seen or spoken to Mason since before the attack. She hadn't seen or heard from Dimitri for a week.

"He will when he's ready," Eddie replied. "He's going through a lot right now. We all are."

Rose poked at her toast. "Yeah."

They were silent for a time before Lissa spoke up. "Sonya wants the spirit users to meet after dinner in her classroom. It should be easier to meet there instead of anywhere else."

"That makes sense," Christian agreed. "Is Adrian going to be sober?"

Lissa sighed. "I hope so."

The rest of breakfast passed slowly. Their conversation was slow and stilted. Conversations at other tables were just as subdued.

When the meal ended, Rose and Eddie went to the gym. All the high school novices were assembling there before classes resumed. Rose thought that it was eerie walking into the gym, knowing that the dead had been kept there after the attack.

They took seats on the bleachers and waited until the instructors moved to the front of the room. They welcomed the novices back with solemnity, pausing for a moment of reflection in honor of those who had died. Information was given on how classes would proceed for the rest of the school year. New instructors were announced. New mentors were announced. To Rose's pleasure, she and Eddie were both assigned to Mikhail Tanner. Rose morbidly hoped that Mikhail would last as her mentor, unlike the last two.

At the end of the assembly, Alberta stepped forward to deliver a special announcement. "We have one additional staffing change to announce. A trainee instructor for the elementary novices has been added to our ranks." She smiled and motioned for someone to be let in from the hallway.

Rose nearly jumped out of her seat. Her audible cheer of delight echoed in the room as Mason walked to stand beside Alberta. The rest of the senior novices also cheered for him, though they settled when the guardians motioned for them to sit.

As Alberta Petrov continued, Rose's eyes fell upon the empty space where Mason's hand should have been. "As many of you are aware, Mason Ashford lost his hand in the attack. After some discussion, it was decided that Mister Ashford will still graduate with the other senior novices this June. He will start training as an instructor for the elementary novices today, though he will still be attending all theory classes with the rest of the senior novices. We are very glad to have him at this school. That is all, you are dismissed."

The novices stood, applauding and cheering. Rose and Eddie made their way through their classmates as quickly as they could. Most students were leaving, but some were welcoming Mason back. As politely as they could manage, Rose and Eddie pushed their way past the other students.

Rose flung her arms around Mason the moment she could reach him. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. Eddie wrapped his arms around both of them, which made both Rose and Mason move an arm to embrace Eddie. They shook a little, crying and laughing, before they pulled apart.

"I'm so glad you're back," Rose said.

"I can't believe you didn't tell us!" Eddie cried.

Mason managed a small smile. "I've been busy, and I wanted to surprise both of you. It's good to be back, mostly. They told me about everyone who died."

Rose and Eddie nodded.

"Ivy left," Rose said. "So, now I'm alone in my section of the dorms. I'm not ready to move to a different room though."

"I'm in staff housing now," Mason said, a bit stunned. "It's weird."

"How did you get a job?" Eddie asked.

Mason shrugged. "They needed more staff and I'm trained. From what they told me, a guardian who is permanently injured in the line of duty is given a few options for what to do next, including teaching. So, they gave me the same option that any guardian would get. I'll get my promise mark with you guys and continue living here. They're going to have me start with the youngest novices. I'll teach simple stuff like balance, breathing, and running. I can also teach theory classes when I have more training."

Rose smiled. "That's wonderful."

He nodded. "We should get to class, but I'll tell you more later."

"You'd better," Eddie said.

Ignoring the other students who wanted to talk to Mason, the trio walked out of the gym together.

* * *

There was something soothing about the familiar road to Baia. After all Dimitri had endured over the previous few weeks, returning home was what he needed more than anything. He was driving. Tasha, now Dimitri's charge, was asleep in the passenger seat. Moonlight glinted on the stones of her engagement ring. He was fairly certain she wouldn't take it off any time soon.

A little over three weeks had passed since the attack. After the agonizingly long final week at St. Vladimir's, Dimitri had gone to court. He had said his goodbyes to Rose there, giving her a final gift. Afterward, Dimitri had met up with Tasha to discuss the details of their new arrangement. She was an easy charge in many ways since she didn't rely on a guardian and was willing to join him in hunting down Ivan.

Dimitri and Tasha had remained at court for several days for the reading of Ivan's will. Dimitri had never bothered looking into that part of Ivan's life, which was why he had been astonished by the will. The will had last been updated in January. Ivan had left his vineyards to Tasha and Christian. Ivan had also left a considerable amount of money to Ivan and Brandon that was to go to their families if they were also deceased. Dimitri could have retired comfortably with his newly acquired wealth. Ivan's other assets were split amongst members of his family

The only issue during the reading of the will was Ivan's sister. She wanted Tasha to return the engagement ring. Tasha had threatened to kill anyone who tried taking it from her. Dimitri knew she wasn't exaggerating, though the others assumed that it was simply an emotional outburst.

Tasha tended to absentmindedly play with her ring. She would twist it on her finger or stare at it distantly. She hadn't said much about Ivan or the fact that they planned to hunt for him. Dimitri didn't want to talk about it either, so there was a comfort in avoiding the topic together.

After court, they had visited Brandon's family. It was a painful experience. Though the family had been told of Brandon's death, and received his body for burial, it was up to Dimitri to tell them the details. He told them about Brandon and Celeste, and their final fights to help others. He didn't tell the family about the ghosts, but he did talk to Brandon and Celeste again. They were staying with Dimitri, always traveling together. Dimitri didn't know if their presence comforted him or distressed him.

Now Dimitri was on his way home. It had been Tasha's idea to visit, but Dimitri had readily agreed. He needed to go home. He needed something stable and familiar in his life, if only for a brief time.

It was ten at night when they arrived in Baia. The town was warded, though the wards were imperfect. The presence of so many dhampirs did mean that the town was relatively safe.

He parked in front of his family's home. Tasha stirred beside him. She rubbed her eyes, yawning.

"We're here," he said.

The door to the house opened, and a tall woman with long brown hair stepped outside. Dimitri smiled as he opened the car door.

"You're finally home," Karolina, Dimitri's older sister, exclaimed in Russian. "Come on, mama made food for you."

Dimitri laughed. He walked to his sister and hugged her close. "I've miss you."

"Missed you too," she mumbled into his shoulder. They broke apart, and Karolina smiled at Tasha. "Welcome, Lady Ozera."

A friendly smile flickered on Tasha's lips. Karolina had spoken in English, but Tasha responded in Russian. "You can call me Tasha. I've never been big on formalities."

"Welcome, Tasha. We're glad to have you visit. I'm very sorry for your loss. Ivan was a good friend."

Pain crumpled Tasha's face. "Thank you."

She looked toward Dimitri, who was getting their bags from the car. It gave Tasha time to recover her composure. She tried to take her bag from Dimitri, but Karolina took it instead.

"Come in," Karolina insisted. "I'll take your bag upstairs. Tasha, you'll be in Viktoria's room. She's at school, so it's not a problem. Dimka, you can have the sofa or the alcove."

"The sofa is fine," he said.

They walked inside the house, which smelled of fresh bread and home. Karolina walked upstairs, motioning for Tasha to follow. Dimitri walked to the living room, where he placed his bag in a corner.

Dimitri's mother entered before he sat. She laid a tray of tea and bread on a table before walking to him. They hugged one another close.

Olena Belikova touched Dimitri's cheek with motherly affection. "It's so good to see you, though I am sorry for the circumstances."

"Thank you, mama. It's good to see you too."

They sat. Dimitri ate some of the bread and drank tea. Tasha and Karolina joined them a short time later. Dimitri's mother and sister asked about the trip, which Tasha and Dimitri said went well.

After everyone went to bed, Dimitri stayed awake in thought. He thought about all the money he had received from Ivan's will. He thought about how big his family was. His family was outgrowing the house. His grandmother, mother, three sisters, nephew, niece, and soon another niece were all living there. The money could give them a new house, a bigger house. He would still have more than enough left over to live on if he never worked another day for the rest of his life.

Not that he expected his life to be very long. He didn't know that he would survive his mad idea to hunt for Ivan. He didn't know how long the hunt would take, but he intended to use Brandon as a guide. Hopefully his ghostly friend would help instead of regarding him with stern disapproval.

He thought it was strange that he could still see the ghosts. Though his connection to spirit had been severed, Dimitri had still been kissed by shadows. He had still died and been returned to life. Perhaps he would always be bound to shadows.

Eventually, Dimitri allowed himself to drift into a restless sleep. He woke up, hours later, to the sound of talking in the kitchen and the scent of food in the air. He lay there for a while, willing some measure of contentment into his mind.

Small feet pattered along the floor, followed by the quicker, long strides of an adult. "Seryozha, don't go in there! Mitya is asleep."

Dimitri opened his eyes as both runners entered the living room. Seryozha, a nickname for Sergei, was a toddler with thin brown hair and big brown eyes. The woman chasing him didn't bear much resemblance to her son. Svetlana had thick, wispy brown hair and blue eyes. She caught her son by the arm and picked him up, balancing him on her hip. Her eyes fell on Dimitri's and she gave him a warm, though uncomfortable smile.

"Hello Sveta," Dimitri said.

"Mitya, it's good to see you. I hope we didn't wake you."

"You didn't," he assured her.

She shifted, rocking her son on her hip. "How was your trip?"

"It was fine." He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he sat up. He wore a t-shirt and pajama pants under his blanket, so he wasn't worried about his state of undress. He glanced at the clock which hung on the wall. It was six in the morning. "You're here early."

"Your mother is watching Seryozha while I meet with some clients today. Lina mentioned that you would be visiting for a week or so, but I only learned that you arrived last night when I came over this morning."

"You're meeting with clients this early in the morning?"

She laughed. "Interpreting for a video and phone conference. One group here in Baia, the other in Tokyo."

"Anything interesting?"

"Yes, but I can't disclose any of it."

"Of course."

She set her squirming son down and stretched her arms. The little boy scampered off, out of the room. With a sigh and a glance, Svetlana shrugged at his departure. She turned back to Dimitri, serious now. "I'm sorry for your losses."

Dimitri nodded. "Thank you."

She hesitated. For a moment she seemed to consider going to him, but she stopped herself. "I have to leave. If you want to talk later, I'll be around."

"I'd like that," he said.

She smiled and said a quick goodbye before leaving the room.

Dimitri sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He hadn't really expected to run into his ex-girlfriend on his first day back home. She was different than he remembered. Perhaps it was simply that she was a mother now. Perhaps it was something else, something she hadn't told him since they stopped talking on a regular basis.

His thoughts ran from Svetlana to Rose. How much would she change? If he saw her again, would she even want to start again? Could they start again? Would she resent the silence and disconnection he had decided would be best for them? Would she look at him the way Sveta did- with fondness and anxiety? Or would Rose hate him for abandoning her when she needed him most?

He had to find Ivan. It was the only way to move forward. Afterward, things could be different. With another sigh, Dimitri got up and prepared to greet the rest of his family for breakfast.

* * *

Dimitri spent the day with his family and Tasha. His sisters both left for work before lunch, though they returned later in the day. It was a good distraction for Dimitri and Tasha. They listened to Olena, Yeva, Karolina, and Sonja talk about life in Baia. They helped around the house and assisted with Zoya and Sergei.

Karolina and Sonja returned for dinner, as did Svetlana. They sat around the dining room table together, eating and talking. The three women all talked about their workday. Tasha's interests were piqued by Svetlana mentioning her translation work.

"Your regular work is translation?"

"And interpreting," Svetlana agreed. "I used to work for a company, but now I work freelance. I prefer translation, as it allows me to be at home with my son. Not that working at home is easy with a toddler. Interpreting pays more and has a faster turnaround, but it requires me leaving Seryozha for longer periods of time."

"How many languages can you speak and read?"

Sveta ticked the languages off on her fingers as she spoke. "Russian, English, and Romanian were the three languages I learned from childhood. My mother is Romanian, so she insisted that I learn. I'm also fluent in Polish, Hungarian, French, and German. I also know some very basic Latin and Greek, though no more than most students of the humanities and sciences would understand."

Tasha considered Svetlana thoughtfully for several moments. "I wonder if you would like another job?"

"Doing what?"

"I'm doing research into Moroi history. I'm trying to gain support to legalize Moroi combat. Prince Dragomir suggested that I might gain more support if I know the reasons behind why it was banned. I narrowed down the timeframe to the early 1800s, but I need primary sources to learn more. All the secondary sources I can find are heavily redacted or altered histories. I'm planning for us to visit the European Moroi family archives after we leave Baia, to see if they have anything useful, but I can only read English and Russian."

Svetlana smiled at Tasha. "That does indeed limit your ability to read some of the old family documents. I'd love to help you connect with the archivists. I know most of the prominent Moroi translators and family record keepers. It wouldn't be a problem for me to contact them before you visit, that way they can have the records ready before you arrive. If you would like me to translate anything, I'm certain that we can discuss an arrangement."

"The two of you could discuss that tomorrow when I visit Mark and Oksana," Dimitri suggested. "Unless you have to work again tomorrow?" His question was directed at Svetlana.

"Tomorrow would work for me," Sveta agreed.

Tasha nodded. "It works for me too."

With that business agreed to, the discussion moved to other topics. After dinner, Dimitri asked Sveta to walk with him. His family and Tasha said nothing about it, though they did regard the pair curiously. They left the house together and walked along the sidewalk toward town.

"How have you been?" Dimitri asked. "We haven't talked for a long time."

"I'm doing well. I make enough money that I can support myself. Seryozha's father is actually in his life from time to time, which is good." She folded her arms around herself. She glanced at him, then away. "I'm sorry that you lost Ivan and Brandon. I know you loved them dearly."

He nodded, not responding for some time. "Ivan is a Strigoi."

"Oh God," she whispered.

"I plan to kill him."

She stopped in her tracks to stare at him. "Mitya, no."

"I have to. I owe this to him."

Her face and voice hardened. "No, you don't. You gave that man your life. You died for him."

"And he saved me," Dimitri snapped. "He brought me back to life. You know that." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I failed him. I was bound to him, able to see his thoughts and feel his emotions, and I failed him when he needed me most."

She softened, eyes growing warm with sympathy. "I'm sorry. I can't imagine how painful this has been for you. But that doesn't mean you should go on a suicidal hunt for him. You have known others who were turned. I know he was closer to you than anyone else, and I understand that you blame yourself, but this…"

"I can't let this happen to him."

She opened her mouth to protest further but stopped. She sighed, shaking her head. "I hope you can find peace and that this doesn't destroy you."

Dimitri watched her. He knew how much she cared about him. He cared about her too. They had been in love once. Yet a chasm now existed between them, something impassible and unmendable.

He had changed. Being a guardian. Being bound to another person. Killing. It had all changed him.

Becoming a mother had changed her. And more, he supposed. The years that separated them had brought trials into her life that he didn't know and likely never would.

Would Rose still love him if they met again? Or would a chasm grow between them as well? He didn't know. And it killed him inside to think of losing Rose forever.

"I had a girlfriend," he said. He wasn't certain why he said it, only that it felt important.

"Oh?"

He continued walking. She followed. "I ended things with her after the attack. I had to leave, and she had to stay."

She tilted her head to the side, baffled. "You broke up with your girlfriend to hunt down your undead best friend?"

"She's a novice at St. Vladimir's. She'll become a guardian this coming summer, to the Dragomirs."

"You were involved with a student?"

"She's eighteen, and she understands why I'm doing this."

"Does she?"

"She knows what it's like to be bound to another person. She would do the same thing in my position."

"And you broke off the relationship because...?"

"I don't know how long this will take, or if I'll return. I don't want her to waste her time waiting for me. I did that to you. I won't do it again."

She laughed, rolling her eyes. "You're such an idiot." She looked at him, kind and rueful. "You dated an eighteen-year-old girl and left her to go off on a dangerous and noble quest. You probably told her that you want to make it work, one day. And you honestly think she won't wait for you? Idiot. She's probably holding on to romantic dreams of your return."

Dimitri looked down, embarrassed. How much he feared that Rose would hate him or move on seemed foolish when Svetlana spoke so bluntly to him. He knew Rose. He loved Rose, and she loved him. Sveta was right, he was an idiot.

"You know me too well," he said. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. "Everything is so confusing right now. Losing Ivan… I lost part of myself that day. I won't be able to move on or figure out my future until I know he's at rest. I also don't know how things will work with my schedule or Rose's schedule. That was one of my biggest worries with dating her. It was one of the reasons you and I never worked."

She ran a comforting hand across his shoulders. "I know." Sveta changed her tone, becoming brighter and more cheerful. "Can you tell me about this girl you dated?"

"Do you really want to know?"

She gave him a friendly smile. "Yes, and then I will tell you about Seryozha's father if you want."

Dimitri chuckled. "Deal." He thought for a few moments, trying to figure out where to start. He drew a deep breath and began to tell his former love about his current love. While it hurt to think about how much he missed Rose, and it was awkward to discuss relationships with an ex-girlfriend, Dimitri found that talking helped him process all he had lost.

* * *

Music echoed through the halls of the typically quiet cabin where Ivan Zeklos now lived. He wandered toward the source of the sound. Inside the library were several musical instruments, though Ivan hadn't seen anyone touch them before. Entering the library, he saw Sofia standing at the harpsichord. Her fingers and body moved with swift, decisive movements as she played. He watched her, entranced. She seemed to hit every note perfectly.

He applauded when she finished, earning a small smile from her. "What was that?"

"Bach, Prelude in C major."

"I've never seen anyone play a harpsichord before."

"I learned to play one as a child. It was in our home in Bukovina, though harpsichords were out of fashion amongst the upper class of Europe at the time. Pianos were more popular." She sighed, almost wistful. "I saw Beethoven in Vienna when I was a child, shortly before we left Europe."

Ivan blinked in astonishment. "You saw Beethoven when you were a child?"

"I was born in 1800. I have seen many things." She walked toward her bookcases. She ran her fingers along the spines of books that were yellowed with age. "I have seen nations rise and empires crumble to dust. I have seen war, disease, and death." She turned toward him. "Do you know what I find fascinating?"

"Hmm?"

"Mortals- Moroi, dhampir, and human- are far worse creatures than Strigoi." She considered him scornfully. "You are far too young to know what a slave market looked like. I saw them. I saw men, women, and children stripped of their dignity and sold as chattel. I saw the ruins of war and genocide on this continent and in Europe. I even spent time in Europe during the World Wars."

"Those were human acts of violence."

"You know nothing of what Moroi can do in war. They can be far more brutal than humans." She made a disgusted sound low in her throat. "They became so weak after the wars ended. They stopped using their magic and began to rely solely upon dhampir guardians for protection."

"Why did they stop using magic to fight back?" Ivan was still mildly interested in why Moroi had stopped using their elements in battle.

"Some of the most powerful Moroi leaders could control an element called spirit. I learned over time that knowledge of spirit was erased from recorded history after the wars ended. Have you heard of spirit?"

Ivan chuckled. "I was a spirit user."

"Interesting. Did you know that, when properly trained, a spirit user can bend the will of others to whatever purpose the wielder intends?"

"Isn't that simply compulsion?"

Sofia laughed. "No, not even close. A spirit user at their full potential can wreak more havoc with their element than any one Strigoi. A general from the Lazar family whose element was spirit once rode into battle alone. He turned the mind of the opposing general, I believe a Drozdov, against his own soldiers. The Drozdov general burned his own men alive, killing them all. That same Lazar general compelled a Prince from House Szelsky to slaughter his entire family and himself. They never teach these histories- do they?"

Ivan shook his head. "I never heard any of that before. When did that happen?"

"Around the time I was born." She considered the books before continuing. "As I was saying, I have seen and done many things. Strigoi are, in many ways, superior to mortals. Mortals are full of innovation and creativity, but they are terribly double minded."

Ivan puzzled over her choice of words. "Are we Awakened not the most superior?"

She let out a short, harsh laugh. "I thought we were, once." She looked at him again. "I have since learned that there are other immortals in the world. They have their own affairs and domains. Some live in realms beneath the seas. Some live in isolated wastes on the land. Others blend into the mortal world as seamlessly as Moroi and dhampirs. If we leave them alone, they will leave us alone."

"If not?"

She grimaced. "It depends upon the variety of immortal. It is wiser to avoid them altogether."

He mulled over her words. "Have you met other immortals?"

A slight tremor ran through her. "Yes."

Ivan looked away, unnerved by her reaction. He began to glance at the books on the shelves. One caught his eye, and with a gentle hand he pulled out a book titled "Tales" by Edgar A. Poe. He opened the cover and saw that the date of publication was 1845.

"First edition," Sofia said. "I enjoy his writings."

"You don't share these parts of yourself with Greg or Dahlia or any of the others, do you?"

"No, you will find that I reveal very little of myself or what I know to anyone."

"Why do you favor me? Greg and Dahlia clearly dislike me because of your favoritism, but they're too terrified of you to do anything against me."

She chuckled. Her laughter and affect always seemed strangely vibrant to Ivan. Some part of him was dimly aware that he and the other Strigoi he knew were not as adept at mimicking emotion as she.

"Dear cousin, I favor you because it pleases me to do so. Greg and Dahlia were human.  
They are not particularly intellectual, and they are very obviously lower class. I always favor former Moroi above former humans. I especially favor those who are intelligent and cultured. We are also kindred, which is a pleasure to me."

He bowed slightly to her. "I'm honored."

She seemed pleased by his deference, which annoyed some part of him. He was a predator. He was strong, stronger than he had ever imagined was possible. Yet before this petite woman, he was nothing.

Ivan was also weaker than Greg and Dahlia, though he did have keener instincts than either of them. His reflexes were faster than theirs. Having been raised with the fear that he could be hunted by Strigoi, he was often more aware of his surroundings.

He was already aware that there were varying levels of power among Strigoi. Ivan was still very young, which meant that he was relatively weak. He was faster and stronger than any mortal, but he was still learning to refine his skills. He practiced fighting to hone his instincts. After all, he knew how much training guardians went through, and wasn't yet confident that he could face one.

Reckless instincts urged him toward fighting, but Sofia mentored him toward patience. He was fascinated by and terrified of her. He had come to realize that everything she did was deliberate. He didn't fully understand her ends, but he was beginning to comprehend her methods.

She walked slowly, seeming to restrain herself from moving too fast. She affected emotions she didn't possess in order to blend in with humans. She built vast alliances and business networks, adapting them over time in order to maintain power. Her control over her violent impulses was also a way to maintain power. She was cold, calculating, and highly intelligent.

She drew a book from a shelf, holding it in delicate fingers. "I need to travel to Europe soon. I want you to accompany me. I have some favors to repay and business to conduct. If you wish to continue working with me, it would benefit you to see more of my affairs."

"Of course," Ivan agreed. "I enjoy the work you have me doing now and look forward to learning more."

"Good. Will you have the reports done by tomorrow?"

"Yes."

Ivan had been given the task of reviewing Sofia's financial records. It had taken him two weeks to read through all the relevant documents. It had been a unique insight into the world Ivan now inhabited. Just like in the mortal world, money mattered. Sofia, due to her age and skill, had amassed considerable wealth. It was scattered around the world under many names, but it was all hers.

"Excellent. I will await your findings."

She turned to go without another word. With a glance, Ivan saw the title of the book she was holding. He blinked a few times in disbelief. She left while he still stared after her. Shaking his head, Ivan chose to read the book he held. A strange choice, to be sure, though Sofia's struck him as bizarre. Unless Ivan misread the title, Sofia was reading Dracula.

* * *

 **Notes** :

 _So, I have something fun to ask of you, dear readers. I have one minor character to create that I want to ask your help deciding two things for. This person is one of Lissa's future guardians. I already have the general idea of their personality, but I want your help deciding if this character should be male or female; 5 years(ish) older than Rose or 10 years(ish) older than Rose. I know which ones I'm leaning more toward, but I figured that this could be fun to let you decide._

 _Thank you to everyone who is following, commenting, and favoriting. You make me smile._

 _Critiques are welcomed :)_


	24. Seeking

**Note: Violence warning.**

* * *

The walk to Mark and Oksana's house was long and lonely. Dimitri could have driven, but he enjoyed the long walk. Walking gave him time to think and be alone with his thoughts. Being alone with his thoughts was still strange, still achingly lonesome.

Mark was working in flowerbeds in front of the house when Dimitri arrived. They greeted one another warmly. Mark's sorrow over Ivan's loss was obvious, even before it was mentioned.

They went inside, and Oksana greeted Dimitri. They sat around the table, drinking tea and eating soup. They talked for a long time. Mark and Oksana were both concerned about the effects severing the bond might have had on Dimitri. He answered their concerns as best he could, but Dimitri couldn't have said what was natural grief from losing his closest friends and what was the result of the bond's absence.

He told them that Ivan had been turned, which both accepted grimly. His declaration that he was going to hunt for Ivan was met with resistance.

"You can't do that," Oksana pleaded. "It's madness to hunt for loved ones who were turned, you know this."

"I can find him. Brandon's ghost follows me, and he can lead me to Ivan. We just have a few things to get done before I can search for him."

Mark shook his head. "Dimitri, Dimitri this task you have set before yourself is folly. You'll destroy yourself if you kill him. To kill your former bond mate would be like killing part of yourself."

"They already killed him!" Dimitri exclaimed, raising his voice. "Hunting him is a mercy."

Oksana let out a heavy breath, then looked at Mark. They held one another's gaze for a few moments. A pang of loss twisted Dimitri's gut. He would never know the feeling of being bound to Ivan again.

Mark sighed, nodding. "If you're so set on this course, perhaps there is another way. A long time ago we met another spirit user named Robert Doru. He claimed to have restored a Strigoi."

"We know it sounds impossible," Oksana added quickly. "He was going mad from spirit, so he may have been delusional. However, it may be worth finding him to learn more."

Dimitri's world reeled. How could this be true? Was there a way to bring Ivan back? "Did he tell you how?"

"No," Oksana said, shaking her head. "He said that spirit healed the Strigoi, but he gave no details. I don't know where he is now. You know how bad spirit users can get over time. He may have harmed himself or be locked away somewhere. He may have been telling us a lie. We don't know."

The healthy dose of skepticism from Oksana tempered Dimitri's response. "Even if it's a lie, it's worth asking after him. It's worth looking to see if this is true and possible."

"Be careful," Mark warned. "Chasing this fairytale may be as unhealthy as chasing after Ivan."

"I know," Dimitri agreed quietly. But he had to try. He had to give it a chance, even if nothing came of it.

"I've contacted Sonya Karp," Oksana said, changing the subject. "I'm still willing to speak with the other spirit users and help them as best I can."

"Thank you," Dimitri replied. "I'm certain they appreciate your input."

She nodded in agreement.

Their conversation lasted a while longer. When Dimitri left, they cautioned him again against his desire to seek out Ivan. They knew he wouldn't heed their advice. Dimitri would look for Robert Doru and then look for Ivan. Nothing would sway him from his task.

Dimitri arrived back home in time for dinner. He didn't tell them about his conversation with Mark and Oksana. The idea of restoring a Strigoi was still too strange to say out loud. Instead, he listened as the others talked.

Svetlana wasn't there, but Tasha informed Dimitri that the two women had reached an agreement. She also told him about the arrangements they were making to visit the European archives of various royal Moroi families. Sveta would be making the trip with them, leaving her son in the care of Dimitri's family.

As the week passed, more details of their upcoming trip were finalized. Dimitri left Baia for one day to visit his sister Viktoria and nephew Paul at their school. When he returned, their tour of the royal archives was completely planned. They would visit ten different cities over the next few weeks, gathering information for Tasha's research. They would end their trip in Bucharest at the end of April. During that time, Dimitri would begin his own research into Robert Doru.

* * *

Rose listened to the rain slap against her window. She couldn't sleep, again. Sleep had not come easily to Rose since the attack. No matter how hard she trained- exhausting herself- sleep was always fitful and full of unpleasant dreams.

On the weekends she slept better. They went back to the Dragomirs every weekend now. Rose, Lissa, Jill, and Christian hadn't spent a weekend on campus since the attack. Adrian always accompanied them as well, though he often spent the weekend with other friends. It was nice to get away. It was nice to go somewhere that wasn't touched by painful memories.

The school was adapting to its new rhythm. The teachers and students were all more solemn. The novices trained harder than ever. Lissa, Adrian, and Sonya had achieved a new status as healers with a strange new element. The spirit users trained, feeling Ivan's absence keenly. And some Moroi students sought training of their own.

The officially sanctioned group of Moroi trainees learned self-defense from Mikhail, Mason, Rose, and Eddie. Jill and Christian were two of the recruiters for that group. The Moroi students wanted to learn how to protect themselves. They wanted to be safe, and no one would prevent them from learning physical self-defense.

The secondary group of Moroi trainees learned how use their elements offensively. They were trained by Jill and Christian. With the general consensus that Moroi magic had played a role in breaking the wards, the students trained deep inside the school's property. They also trained clandestinely, since Moroi combat was technically forbidden. Few remained consistent with their offensive training, but a handful of students was devoted to learning.

Rose flipped on her lamp, ready to give up on sleep. She went to her computer and sat down. She opened her email and started a new message. She typed out a sentence, staring at it longingly as she held the necklace she wore.

 _I miss you._

She stood, wiping away her tears. She grabbed a hoodie from the laundry pile and slipped it over her head before returning to the desk. It was Dimitri's hoodie. She snuggled into it, wanting to be close to him.

 _I miss you._

She hesitated. She wanted to send it to him. She wanted him back. But she wanted to be strong. She wanted him to believe she could handle their time apart. She didn't want to be angry at him for leaving.

She closed the email, saving it as a draft. There were others like it in her draft folder. She wouldn't send them. She wanted him to contact her. She wanted him to tell her that he was coming back. That he was going to be with her forever.

A soft knock sounded on her door. She was confused. Looking at the time, it was eleven in the morning- the human morning. Everyone, except some staff, should have been asleep. She stood, walking to the door. She opened it a crack and saw Mason standing outside her door. He was facing away, as if he was going to leave.

"Mase?"

He turned, smiling awkwardly. "Hey."

She ran a hand through her messy hair. "How did you know I'd be up?"

He shrugged. "I didn't. I just… I can't sleep and figured I'd come up and see if you were still up."

She smiled softly. "Come in. Can you still get in trouble for being in a girl's room?"

"With you I'm not sure, since we're both adults now. Otherwise, yes. The lists of rules I'm learning as staff are kinda intense."

They walked inside her room, shutting the door behind them. "Do you like it? Oh, and where were you today?"

"Yeah, it's weird to be staff but nice too. I had to fly out for a fitting." He held out his arm, a bit uncomfortable. "I'll have a prosthesis soon."

"How do you feel about all of this?" They took seats on her bed.

He shrugged. "Still adjusting. I keep reaching for things with my hand, which isn't there. They have me in physical therapy to work on my left hand. You should see how bad my writing is."

She laughed. "Remember when we used to try writing with our left hands, or backward?"

"Yeah," he chuckled. "We were so young then."

"Yeah," she agreed softly.

"How can you stand being alone up here?"

"I'm not ready to move down to the junior level. I feel close to them here."

"Have you heard from Ivy?"

"Yeah, she's doing some homeschool courses to graduate. She's even looking into college."

"Good for her."

"Yeah, Derek is still pretty heartbroken about her though." Rose looked toward the window, listening to the steady beat of the rain. "I can technically see Meredith- when I'm outside the wards."

Mason knew about the ghosts from his time watching the spirit users train. He still shuddered at the mention that Rose could see the dead. "Are you okay with that?"

"No. I mean she helped us rescue everyone from the cave, along with Brandon. Dimitri and I asked for their help. He said Celeste is with Brandon now. I haven't asked for them, but I have seen Meredith again."

Mason shook his head in disbelief. "I don't think I could handle that."

She didn't respond. She couldn't really handle it either. She just needed it sometimes. She needed to see the people she had lost. It made her feel something. It made her remember why she should get up every day and keep training.

"Is the hoodie his?" Mason asked eventually.

Rose blinked in astonishment, shifting away from Mason so that she could look at him. "I… um… what?"

He gave her a wry smile. "Belikov, it's his hoodie. Unless you know someone else who would give you a shirt with Cyrillic writing on it that's too big for you."

She opened her mouth and closed it a couple times. Heat rose in her cheeks.

"It's fine," he said. "I kinda figured it out a while ago."

"Was it that obvious?"

He shrugged. "To me, yeah. It's not like you were all over each other or anything. I just know you."

"Sorry."

"For what? We've been broken up for over a year. I knew you'd move on eventually."

She regarded him sympathetically. "I still care about you. I always will."

He raised his right arm. "Even with one hand?"

She reached out tentatively, touching his arm. He watched her but didn't pull away. She brushed her fingers along the skin of his forearm and wrist. She stopped, looking at him for some confirmation that it was okay to touch him.

"It's okay," he said softly.

She moved her fingers along the smooth skin where his hand been. Lissa's healing had made the flesh seamless and unblemished, but the surgery he had afterward had left small scars. Her fingers stilled, resting on his wrist.

"You were wounded in battle and escaped with your life, there's nothing to be ashamed of."

"It's so hard," he said. "I'm glad to be alive, and I'm glad they gave me a position, but I have to relearn everything. It's not just writing and fighting. I had to relearn how to tie my shoes, to get dressed, to shave. Everything that used to come so easy is a battle."

She gave his arm a reassuring squeeze.

"She could have killed me."

"Who?" Rose asked.

"The Strigoi who did this. She was… she was so fast and strong. She was so small, just a petite girl, but she had the power of a tornado. She took the axe out of my hand like I was nothing. She could have used it to kill me. Or she could have snapped my neck. She didn't though. I think she took my hand as a trophy. She chose to spare me."

"By letting you bleed to death?"

"No, she expected me to live. She wanted me to know her. She told me her name."

Rose's eyes went wide. "She told you her name?"

"Sofia. She wasn't like the other Strigoi. She was… I don't know, in her own league if that makes any sense. They were all fast and strong, but she was more."

"Maybe she was their leader. They planned that attack. It was too organized and too big to be random."

"Yeah," he sighed in agreement.

They leaned against one another in silence. There was comfort in the warmth and presence of one another. When Rose began to yawn and rest her head against his chest, Mason didn't move her away for a while.

When Mason also began yawning, he shifted her. "I should go."

"Mmh, yeah," she agreed. "Thanks."

"For what," he chuckled.

"Being here."

He kissed her forehead before shifting off the bed. She snuggled down into the covers. "Good night, Rose."

"Night," she mumbled before falling asleep.

* * *

Jill stood with Christian and a small cluster of Moroi students in one of the closed off courtyards near her dorm. Mikhail Tanner stood with Rose, Eddie, and Mason looking toward them. They had agreed to train Moroi students in self-defense on their own time.

Most of the Moroi in training were non-royals. They would go out into the world without guardians or wards, just like Jill had done for the first ten years of her life. These were her people. This was becoming her passion. As much as she loved dance and performance, learning to defend their people was the thing that made her feel like she could make a difference in the world.

This was their self-defense group. The other group, the one that met to learn elemental combat, met at a different time and place. That group was smaller and mostly a secret. Mostly a secret because everyone knew that Christian Ozera could use fire offensively. Most of their recruits had come from Moroi students talking directly to Christian. The ones who made it past Christian's abrasiveness stayed and learned.

Jill, Christian, and the other Moroi listened as Mikhail gave the group instructions. They were learning basic defense, no offense yet. Rose had taught Jill most of this stuff when she was younger, but Jill still did as instructed. When Mikhail finished his instructions, they were all paired off. Rose, Eddie, and Mason walked among the students as they performed the moves they had been shown. The trio would correct and instruct the Moroi as needed.

At the end of their hour, the students were sweaty, sore, and excited. They were all eager to learn. They were finally doing something to feel less afraid. Jill, Christian, Rose, Mason, Eddie, and Mikhail lingered after all the other students left.

"You're all getting really good," Rose said.

"Good enough to learn offense yet?" Jill asked.

Mikhail shook his head, laughing. "You are indomitable."

Jill wrinkled her nose. "What does that mean?"

"Unconquerable," Mikhail said. "Nothing can stop you from what your heart desires."

A brilliant smile illuminated her face. "No, nothing can." Her smile dimmed. She grew somber. "I believe that we can make a difference. If more Moroi had known how to fight back when they attacked, more people would still be alive today. We owe it to them. We owe it to the future."

Christian gave her a crooked smile. "You and Lissa are becoming quite the politicians."

"We have to be with our family name." Jill rolled her eyes. "She wouldn't be with you if she didn't believe in changing our world for the better. Your aunt is one of the loudest voices for change in our world. You're following right in her footsteps."

Pain flickered in Christian's eyes for a moment. He glanced at Rose, who looked away. He knew that his aunt was going to look for Ivan. The others didn't. Only Christian and Rose knew that unpleasant fact. They hadn't even told Lissa.

"I don't mind following in her footsteps. She's brave."

"So are you," said Mikhail. He looked at them one by one. "All five of you are brave. You have each been through things that are above and beyond what is normal for your ages, and you are all still willing to face whatever comes next. I'm proud to know each of you. Now let's go see what the spirit users learned today."

"I can't," Jill said. "Gotta call Evan. He'll be excited to hear how much we're all improving."

"Is he still practicing?" Rose asked.

"Yeah," Jill replied. "When he gets the chance. He's asked a few of the guardians to help him learn self-defense, which they're cool with. Nothing with earth though."

"Didn't his aunt forbid you two from talking?" Eddie asked.

Jill laughed. "Yeah, but she sucks at everything, including enforcing any rules with him. It still sucks that he's at court while I'm here, but with going back every weekend it's not a big deal. See you guys later."

They said their goodbyes to Jill, and she left for her dorm room. Eddie and Mason also left for their dorm. Rose, Christian, and Mikhail went to find the spirit users to see how their work was coming along.

The three spirit users worked together every day of the week. They spent hours trying to learn more about spirit and how to control their element. Oksana had talked to them again, offering her input on their questions. All three were very concerned with learning how to manage the backlash of spirit.

They had all used too much spirit to heal the injured after the attack. Lissa had balanced out the fastest. Through her bond with Rose, they had balanced and healed away the darkness. Adrian and Sonya, lacking bond mates, needed to rely upon healing charms to balance out the backlash of their healings.

Their research was slow. Although legends had always existed about bonds, solid facts were hard to come by. Adrian, with the most free time, was reading through databases for any mentions of unexplained Moroi phenomena. Surely if spirit had existed throughout all of their history there must be other mentions of it. Perhaps the Moroi of long ago had known more effective ways of preventing the backlash of spirit. Perhaps they could find a way to stay sane and still heal others. All three hoped that it was possible.

* * *

Ivan had fallen into line with Sofia faster and easier than he would have thought possible. She was a strong leader, a good leader, a terrifying leader. Her youthful appearance and behaviors belied her utterly vicious nature. He should have known. After all, a Strigoi does not live for two hundred years by being kind or foolish.

She had easy rules to follow- don't kill the servants and no blood whores in the house. She was, in Ivan's opinion, irrationally angry about blood whores.

Hunting, Ivan had learned, was done discreetly. If at all possible, they would not take from the same town twice in a year. Trips to major cities occurred every two weeks so that they could hunt more freely.

Ivan soon learned the territories. Sofia, as the eldest in North America, held some sway in every region, though only loosely. Her primary territory included all of Montana, and parts of Idaho, Washington, Wyoming, the Dakotas, Saskatchewan, and Alberta. Every Strigoi in those regions, other than some strays, was connected to her. The other regions of North America were less orderly. Some areas had no primary leader while other regions were small and well controlled. Power could shift easily, as Strigoi often killed one another for dominance.

Major cities were neutral hunting grounds. No one laid claim to the major cities, so most Strigoi flocked to them. Ivan had hunted in Seattle. He found that he preferred the variety of large cities.

Some Strigoi had favorite foods. Sofia preferred eating children and enjoyed hunting men. She had two preferred methods of hunting adults. Her first method was seduction. With a flirtatious smile, she would lure men from clubs and kill them before they ever touched her. Her second method was to feign that she was a lost, helpless girl. When an unsuspecting person helped her, often by giving her a ride, she would kill them.

Sofia often kept a bone from each of her victims, adding them to the ossuary in her cabin. Her ossuary was designed like a chapel in the manner of some monasteries in Europe. She placed bones along the walls as decorations. The hand she had taken from St. Vladimir's now rested beside the pedestaled skull at the focal point of the room.

Ivan had yet to determine his favorite food or methods of hunting. He enjoyed the seduction route, but it often felt too easy. He soon learned to stalk. Seattle was a large enough city that choosing a target to follow was easy. He would stalk men or women. He thought that children were too easy. He wanted to taste another Moroi, but there had been few opportunities.

In mid-April, Sofia took Ivan to Europe. She introduced him to faction leaders as her cousin. Ivan was quick to learn that her favor was a double-edged sword.

"Are you her lap dog?" A man mocked.

They were in Moscow, at a club owned by an acquaintance of Sofia's. The patrons were all Strigoi. Humans were there as food or as sex slaves. Ivan thought he understood Sofia's hatred of the practice. There was something beneath the dignity of their kind to rape a creature they used as food.

Ivan assessed the man. He had been human before being Awakened. Ivan was certain that he could kill him. "I work with her. She doesn't control me."

"Prove it."

Ivan laughed. "I don't need to prove anything to you."

"Coward."

Ivan snapped. He shoved the man into a wall. The man swung at him, hitting Ivan in the jaw. There wasn't much strength in the hit. Ivan grabbed the man's arm, twisting it. The man screamed.

Other Strigoi turned to watch, eyes glittering with malice.

The man squirmed, kicking out. He knocked Ivan back a few feet. Ivan regained his balance before the man could stand. Ivan pounced, slamming the man's head against the concrete floor. A few Strigoi were shouting bets, cheers, and jeers.

Blood splattered from the man's head. Ivan slammed him into the floor a few more times. A pop resounded, dull and harsh. The man was stunned. He could regenerate from having his skull split open.

Ivan took the man's head between his hands and twisted. After a few rotations, the head ripped away. Blood and bits of bone splattered everywhere. Ivan threw the head to the ground and stood.

"Anyone else want to have fun?" Ivan taunted.

"I am certain that some of them want to," Sofia said loudly. The room fell silent for her. "However, we have business to discuss."

For a moment, Ivan's bloodlust still reigned. He looked at her, wanting to fight. Her face hardened, and that coldness he had seen in her when she killed replaced the mask of levity she often wore. Ivan backed down. He nodded respectfully and followed her to the room where they were storing their luggage until nightfall.

She looked at him, wrinkling her nose. "You should change unless you intend to kill more weaklings today."

For a creature who drank blood and killed people, she was awfully concerned with appearances. Of course, when Ivan looked at the blood on his hands and clothes, he found himself agreeing with her. Ivan didn't mind being covered in blood, but he also didn't like wearing it all day. He grabbed his backpack from the floor and entered the bathroom.

The club was a former hotel. Strigoi would often stay there during the day while travelling. It was a good way to meet and exchange information. It was also a good way to show off prowess. Ivan and Sofia were there for the day while her human servants conducted business in the city. They would leave at nightfall for Novosibirsk. Sofia was planning to visit Galina.

Ivan stripped off his shirt and jeans, throwing them on the floor. He turned on the faucet and washed his hands. He glanced at the mirror, still surprised by having a reflection. He had always been told that Strigoi didn't have reflections. Blood was drying on his face. He splashed water on his face and wiped himself clean with a drying towel. He dressed again in fresh clothes before exiting the bathroom.

"What business did you want to discuss?"

"I earned a million U.S. dollars today on a bet. Of course, I then had to invest it again."

"I bow to your wisdom."

"You should."

Her words irritated him. He chafed under the yoke of authority. He wanted her power.

She saw his expression. Before he knew what was happening, she threw him to the ground and pinned him. She straddled his hips and pinned his wrists to the floor on either side of her legs.

In that terrifying moment, Ivan realized just how much power was in Sofia's petite body. He had known she was powerful. He known she was old. He had not realized how much he had underestimated her. She weighed less than he did, but it made no difference. He couldn't move. He now wondered if she chose to kill children so that she appeared weak.

"I like you, cousin, but you do need to remember your place. You will never be stronger than me."

He wanted to fight. He wanted to snap at her. He wanted to disagree. He couldn't. She was right.

"As you say, cousin."

"Good." She didn't release her hold on him. "I can show you my power." Her voice was soft, seductive.

Her hair was blonde now, hanging in pale gold waves down to her waist. She wore blue contacts, hiding all traces of her red ringed eyes. She could have been a Moroi teenager in her current guise. She looked almost the same way she had before being turned into a Strigoi.

She rocked her hips against him. "Do you want to feel it?" She brought his hands to her waist, still moving against him. She moved with smooth, decisive focus. She was entirely in control.

He spread his hands, sliding them under her thin tee-shirt. He resented her power, her control. At the same time, he wanted to feel her and know her. "Yes." He moved his hands with slow determination along the soft skin of her waist and stomach.

She grinned, bending to him. "Good." She pressed her lips to his, and Ivan quickly lost himself in a battle of wills with Sofia.

* * *

Ivan and Sofia were preparing to leave Moscow when a male Strigoi approached them. He had been middle aged when Awakened, and Ivan thought the man was a bit more powerful than himself. He looked at Sofia, holding out an envelope.

"Lady Sofia, I'm a messenger from Elder Dante of Florence. He sent me to deliver this to you."

Ivan and the messenger both stepped back from Sofia as she accepted the letter. Her entire countenance had grown lifeless and stiff. The hairs on the back of Ivan's neck rose. What was an elder? Why did a letter from one change Sofia so much?

Sofia opened the letter and scanned it. She shivered as she read. Looking back at the messenger, she crumpled the letter in her hands. "Tell Elder Dante that I will fulfill my debt to him. I will leave for Bucharest next week. First, I need to visit an associate in Novosibirsk."

The messenger nodded. "I'll let him know."

When they were alone in the former hotel's lobby, Ivan dared to look at the hand where Sofia still clutched the letter. "What is an elder?"

"An elder is a Strigoi who is at least five hundred years old. Dante was born in Florence, Italy in the 1300's. If one owes him a favor, one does as he asks."

The very thought of a seven-hundred-year-old Strigoi sent a chill down Ivan's spine. He was nothing compared to a two-hundred-year-old, less than nothing to one so much older. "And he's not an ancient?"

She laughed harshly. "Not even close. The ancients are mostly myth, but some do live in very remote places. Two thousand years old or older, they are nearly invincible."

"Have you ever met one?"

"No, nor do I wish to meet one. Not that an immortal is much better."

"An immortal? You mean a non-Strigoi immortal?"

Her stony expression made Ivan take another step back. She held up her fist where she clutched the letter. "Yes. You will have the opportunity to meet one soon."

* * *

 **Notes:** _Sorry for Ivan's stuff. I know it's squirmy and uncomfortable._

 _I gave the Strigoi reflections because it's only mentioned once that they don't have reflections, and that's when Rose is high as a kite on Strigoi bites. Not all vampire lore has them reflectionless, so I hope you'll forgive me for that. (My brain has issues with physical objects lacking reflections... because how could you see them if they didn't reflect... light bouncing off particles and all that stuff... sorry.)_

 _The next chapter will be a bit different in that it focuses on four minor characters at court on one day._

 _Thank you all for reading and following and commenting! (You guys actually comment more per chapter than I've gotten on my most popular fic in a different fandom, which makes you all pretty amazing to be honest!)_


	25. Family

**Note/Warning: Non-graphic discussion of a forced abortion.**

* * *

Mia Rinaldi hurried along the paths at court. She was going from the tutored classes she shared with a few other teens, including Evan Badica, to her home. She always walked quickly when she was alone. Too many people knew who she was, which made her uncomfortable. She would have loved that attention when she was younger. She had relished the thought of people talking about her before she learned how awful people could be.

It had started when she was a freshman. She was fourteen and determined to become a royal one day. She volunteered for everything that involved royals, and they soon paid attention to her. Then Andre Dragomir looked her way, and she was spellbound.

Andre was gorgeous, funny, and charming. Fourteen-year-old Mia had idealized and idolized him. She was so blinded by his attention that she was willing to do anything he asked, including have a secret relationship.

When Andre had broken off their relationship a month later, Mia had been devastated. He hadn't been kind about it, though he had still been charming in a cruel way.

A few weeks later, after an absolutely terrifying trip to the school nurse, Mia learned that she was pregnant. In that moment, Mia had gone from just a teen girl who had been abandoned by an ex to a pregnant teenager. Telling her parents and Andre hadn't been easy. Going through with the rest of the school year had been tortuous.

Some of her classmates had been kind about it or simply curious. Others whispered that she was a whore or a slut or a gold-digger or a liar. How dare she, a nobody, get pregnant by the Dragomir heir.

She didn't tell them that it had been an accident. She didn't tell them that she was hurting and terrified. She didn't tell them that she had only ever been with Andre.

Leaving school and settling at court had been a relief- until she heard the same, similar, or worse things. Worst of all were the men who tried to date her. Some were charming, some were not. A few were close to her age- encouraged by their parents. Others were older, much older. They all wanted to date her so that they had a way to reach the Dragomirs. It was awful, and Mia hated every one of them.

One man in particular had begun showing an interest in Mia lately. Lord Adam Conta had taken to following her around court from time to time. He was at least forty, and everything about him unnerved Mia. She couldn't bring herself to tell anyone about him either, because he had technically done nothing wrong. He just talked to her and asked her to go get coffee. She also didn't want to run to her parents or the Dragomirs every time someone bothered her. She wanted to handle it herself.

She thought that she could avoid him if she took a different route back home that day, but she had no such luck. Adam stepped into her path, easily keeping step with her. She stiffened as she walked, wanting to escape.

"Why are you walking so fast?" he asked. "It's April, the weather is finally warming up."

"I have things to do," she replied through gritted teeth.

He laughed. "Really? I can't imagine having so much to do that you can't enjoy a lovely day and a friendly chat."

"Well then you must lead a boring life."

"Hardly." His voice had a smooth quality that made Mia's skin crawl. "I just know how to enjoy myself. I'd love it if you'd stop for a bit and have a drink with me."

"No, thank you."

He put a hand on her shoulder, halting Mia in her steps. "Come on, have some fun."

"Lord Conta!" A commanding female voice called out before Mia could protest. Mia and Adam turned toward the voice and saw Katrina Lehman in her guardian uniform quickly approaching. Mia had never been more relieved to see Katrina.

"I believe that you should remove your hand from Miss Rinaldi." Katrina's voice was hard, though still somewhat polite.

"Oh, we're just being friendly," he said smoothly. "You don't need to worry yourself, guardian."

Katrina's lips thinned into a firm line before she responded. "Mia is my responsibility. She's also sixteen, which means you are accosting a minor. Do you want me to bring this up to my supervisor? Or do you want to walk away?"

He held his hands up in surrender. "I'm gone."

He walked away. Mia and Katrina watched him go. Katrina took a few steps toward Mia, like a protective older sister.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm seventeen," Mia replied absently. She was too shaken to form another reply yet. "My birthday was a couple days ago."

Katrina smiled. "I know, but he probably doesn't."

A slow smile spread on Mia's lips. "True. Thank you."

"I'm not going to let some jerk harass you. Has he done this before?"

She nodded. "Yeah, for a few weeks now."

Katrina regarded her gently. "He wasn't the first one to do this, was he?"

Mia bit her lip, shaking her head. "I can handle it," she said hoarsely, trying to reign in her emotions. "I had to handle similar stuff at school when I was pregnant."

"Do you want to talk about it? I know it's not the same, but I get a lot of comments for my choices too."

Mia considered her. A tentative bond had grown between them over the past several months. Mia had been angry and jealous of Katrina at first, but she had come to realize that there was nothing romantic going on between Kat and Andre. She had also come to realize that she and Katrina were now the mothers of half-siblings and should cooperate for the kids.

"Sure," Mia agreed. "Are you off duty?"

"Yep. I was just going to get a muffin from the bakery." She pointed to a building not too far away.

"I like that idea."

They walked together to the bakery. Inside, Katrina bought them muffins and hot chocolate. They took them to go and walked to one of the many small gardens at court. They relaxed on one of the benches, eating and drinking.

"So, what's the deal with lord creepy?"

Mia laughed. "I don't know. I think he's interested in me to worm his way in with the Dragomirs. So many are like that. The rest act like I'm a gold-digging social climber. Then there are the ones who call me a whore. I haven't even had a date since I got pregnant, let alone have sex again. And like I really wanted to get pregnant at fourteen!"

Katrina gave her a sympathetic smile. "I can't imagine what that was like for you. I'm twenty-three and still can't handle being a mother some days. You were so young."

"I had support. My parents are great, so are Andre's, but you know that."

"Eric and Rhea are two of the kindest people I've ever met."

"Do you have any family?"

Kat shook her head. "I'm an orphan. My father died before I was born, and my mother died giving birth to me. They had no family either, so I was raised at an academy from infancy."

"They have academies that do that?"

"Yep! I know of three orphanage academies in the country. I grew up at the one in Maine."

"Wow, I can't imagine what that was like. I always had my parents to go back to on breaks or for quick visits when I went to school." She paused for a moment, thinking. "They could have died in December. The Drozdovs who died, they were the family my parents worked for. If not for Kevin and the Dragomirs…"

"It's strange how life works," Kat said softly.

"Yeah. I love my son. I wouldn't trade him for anything, even the painful stuff, but I do wish I had been older. Is it easier?"

"It's not easy being a mother." Katrina gave Mia a wry smile. "I think watching Rhea has shown me that even with all the money in the world and a husband, being a mom is still hard. I don't know what it's like to be a mother at your age. I know myself more now than I did at fourteen or seventeen, but I also went through a lot before I was assigned to court. I'm still dealing with figuring out who I am after everything I've been through and as now as a mother."

"Do they make comments about you living with the Dragomirs?"

Kat picked at her muffin. She placed a small morsel on her tongue, chewed it slowly, and swallowed before replying. She didn't look at Mia. "Yeah. The royals and the guardians all make comments about it. Some are nicer than others. I wish they'd all just mind their own business."

Mia laughed. "You and me both."

Katrina looked at Mia, grinning. "Let me know if he bothers you again, or if anyone else does."

"I will. You're not going to tell anyone, right?"

"Not unless you want me to. I doubt it's going to stop for either of us. We're in this together."

Grinning, Mia considered Katrina for a few moments before answering. "Yeah, we are." She glanced at her watch, frowning. "Speaking of being in this together, should we go get the kids?"

"From Andre?" Katrina shrugged. "I think he's at the playground with them. He can manage for a little while longer. Want to do something fun?"

"Like what?"

"Bowling?"

"Sure, I'd like that." Mia finished her drink, then stood. "Although, I do worry about not being there for Kevin."

Katrina stood too. She tossed her trash into a nearby bin. "I think Andre can handle it. If not, he has the staff to help. Eric and Rhea will be back from their social events later too. I just need to get changed."

Putting aside her worries, Mia agreed to go. Their children would be fine with their father for another hour. Mia and Katrina both needed to have room in their lives for fun.

* * *

Andre Dragomir sat on a bench, watching his children at the playground. Kevin was playing in a sandbox, mostly making himself dirty. Violet was sleeping in her stroller. Andre hoped that she would stay asleep for a while. It was easier to watch the kids when one was asleep. He wasn't certain if that made him a bad father or not.

He looked around the area as Kevin played. A few children were playing on other playground equipment. A few children were on their own, but most were watched by adults. The adults were not the children's parents. Andre was, in fact, the only parent there with his children. The others were all nannies or caregivers. Wealthy Moroi almost never watched their own children at playgrounds. Poor Moroi tended to go to the playground on the other side of court.

Andre didn't remember much of his childhood, but he was certain that he and Lissa never had a nanny. He remembered their mother watching them. There had been the occasional babysitter, but Eric and Rhea had always been the ones to watch Andre and Lissa. Andre wanted that for his children too, as did Mia. Kat was a bit different in that regard, Andre supposed. He knew that Kat loved their daughter, but she was also distant from Violet. Andre had never asked Katrina why she seemed distant, assuming that Kat was just tired from working and having a baby around. He wondered if it would improve.

Glancing up from looking at Kevin and Violet, Andre noticed a Moroi girl jogging along the nearby path with two guardians. Her long brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail, streaming behind her as she moved. She was laughing with the men as they jogged, keeping pace together. It took Andre a few moments to recognize Lauren Voda, the girl who had been introduced to him at the ski lodge.

"Lauren!" He called out to her, waving his hand. He hoped that he didn't wake the baby.

Lauren noticed him. She stopped jogging. Her guardians stopped too. She spoke briefly to them before they continued. She walked over to Andre, a smile on her face. "Andre Dragomir, it's nice to see you again."

Andre looked into her grey eyes and smiled. "It's good to see you again too. I didn't know you were at court."

"I said that I might be here for Easter, which is next Sunday." She frowned a little. "I would have been here a few weeks ago for the memorial, but my parents came. My cousin Ralph died at St. Vladimir's."

"I'm sorry."

She nodded slightly. "Thank you. We weren't close, but it's still sad. Hearing about the attack on the school was so awful. How are your sisters doing?"

"They're managing," Andre replied mildly. "Lissa lost her mentor. They both lost friends, acquaintances, and teachers."

"That's terrible."

"My parents asked if they wanted to be pulled from school to live here, but they both decided to stay."

"Brave," Lauren said with a smile. "You have quite a remarkable family." She looked at Kevin and Violet. "These are your children?"

"Yes." Andre introduced the children. Kevin waved before continuing to build his piles of sand. Violet was still asleep.

Lauren took a seat beside Andre, looking at Violet. "She's lovely. Your son is adorable too."

"Thank you." He gave her a wry smile. "Does your grandmother still want you to marry me?"

She laughed. "Probably. She hasn't mentioned it since New Year's, which is nice. All the other drama in the council meetings has eclipsed her scheming. Plus, my cousin's death hit her pretty hard."

"That's understandable. I also know how difficult the council meetings have been." He stood, kneeling beside Kevin in the sand. Andre pulled his son's hands away from his mouth. "No, don't eat the sand."

Lauren bit back her laughter as Andre stood. Pulling Kevin into his arms resulted in Andre also being covered in sand.

"Messy, messy," Lauren said in a sing-song voice.

"The joys of children," Andre replied, shaking his head with a smile. He brushed the sand off his son. "Why don't we go to the swings?"

The toddler agreed happily, so Andre dusted Kevin off and swung the boy up onto his shoulders. Andre went to push the stroller, but Lauren intervened- offering her assistance. Andre agreed, and they walked to the swings which were now deserted. Andre settled Kevin in a swing and began gently pushing his son.

"I'm surprised you're doing this alone," Lauren observed.

"I wanted to. If my mom could watch my sister and I alone at these ages, surely I can too. Their moms are busy right now, I think. My parents are at a lunch with some of the council."

"I think it's very responsible of you to watch them."

They shared a smile. Andre warmed at her complement. "I try. Who were you running with?"

"My guardians. James and Elliot have been my guardians since I graduated. They're like the older brothers I never had. I can mostly keep up with them when we go running, and I can beat them when we go swimming."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I was always in track and swimming in school. I used to hang out with the novices all the time." Something flashed across her face, dark and pained. It was gone before Andre could fully read the look. "They were more of a challenge to race."

"And you mentioned that you design jewelry, right?" She nodded in agreement. "So, you're an athletic artist?"

"Something like that," she laughed. "Running makes me feel like I'm free. I love the feel of the wind against my skin. Art transports me somewhere else. I can show you my jewelry line sometime if you're interested."

"I'd like that. I also think we agreed to coffee sometime?"

"We did." A grin spread across her face. "I'm still up for that. I don't mind this either." She sat on a swing, pushing herself back and forth with a foot. "I like children."

"They're pretty great." Andre kissed the top of his son's head before pushing the swing again. "Not that I wanted to be a father so young, but it grows on you if you like kids. Kevin's able to talk a bit now, which makes it more fun. His fangs are growing in too."

"Has he tried biting everyone yet?"

"No, but my mom warned us about that."

She laughed. "One of my friends had a baby a couple years ago and I saw how messy it is to train them how to drink and when."

"As long as he doesn't bite his sister, we're good."

Lauren looked at Violet again, amused. "It's all part of teaching them what's right and wrong, I suppose. How are you feeling about the discussions in the council chambers? I've heard that they were discussing some rather awful ideas."

Andre clenched his jaw, trying to remain calm about the council discussions. "I've had to walk out more than once. I can't believe they want to talk about compulsion or using children as shields. I won't let them do it to my daughter."

She looked up at him, eyes warm and thoughtful. "If they pass those laws, the backlash would be catastrophic. Where does your father stand, if I may ask?"

Andre sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I think he's conflicted. Obviously the attack on the school was a big deal. It's part of the reason why these topics are being so strongly debated. The Badica and Drozdov massacres also influenced these discussions. My family was impacted by all three attacks. My little sister's boyfriend lost his parents and family in the first massacre. My son's mother and her parents used to live with the Drozdovs who were killed in the second massacre. And my sisters go to St. Vladimir's. Teachers I had in school were killed. Friends and acquaintances were killed. We want to make sure that our people are safe, but aren't dhampirs our people too?"

They both looked at Violet as she slept under her blanket in the stroller.

"She's my daughter," Andre continued. "I can't think of her as just a dhampir. I can't think of dhampirs the way I used to, not anymore. They deserve more." He looked at Lauren. "What do you think of that?"

Lauren took a while to look up from the baby. When she did, her grey eyes were shining with emotion. "That maybe someday I'll tell you why I feel the same way." She stood, drawing a few deep breaths to calm herself. "I believe in equality for our people. Maybe I've spent too much time around humans and non-royals. Perhaps that's why I'm so cynical of our lauded traditions. But I think it's more. Our society is breaking down from the inside. Dhampirs are leaving our society and blending into the human world in greater numbers every year. Non-royals are largely abandoned to fend for themselves. And we royals hide in our gilded pens, pretending that we're not destroying ourselves."

Andre's lips twisted into a wry smile. "You are quite the rebel, aren't you?"

She smiled too, matching his expression. "More than you might think, though it's not all a pretty story."

Andre pulled Kevin out of the swing since the child was fussing to get out. He set Kevin down, letting the boy wander around. "I suppose that's related to the restraining order you have against your parents? You alluded to one back at the ski lodge."

Pained anger flitted across her pretty features. "Yeah. They're not part of my life for a very good reason. It's not fixable. It's not forgivable." She drew a deep breath, forcing a smile. "It's also not something to talk about in public or around little ears."

"Well, I should take them home shortly." He hesitated. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She pressed her lips into a thin line as she kicked at the rubber matting on the ground beneath the swings. "Yeah."

"Well then, why don't you come to my house and I'll make you coffee?"

Lauren smiled again. "Can you make coffee, or do you have someone do it for you?"

He laughed, picking up Kevin and strapping him into the toddler's seat at the front of the stroller. "I do know how to make coffee."

They walked the short distance from the playground to the Dragomir residence. Only a few staff members were home when Andre arrived, so he and Lauren saw to cleaning up Kevin and changing Violet. When the children were settled and given over to the care of Alina, the housekeeper, Andre and Lauren went to the kitchen to grab drinks and snacks. Afterward, they went to the library to talk.

Lauren sipped her coffee as her eyes trailed around the room. "You have so many books."

Andre took a seat across from her. "You should see the libraries at the other houses. You know how some people buy books to show off?"

"Yeah."

"None of ours are like that. We have centuries of books bought by Dragomirs. There are family records at one of the houses too, huge tomes written when my family still lived in a castle in Romania."

"That's pretty cool. I know the Vodas have similar records, but I think most of those are in the royal library. I've never thought about looking at them."

"I haven't either, but it's still cool to be part of those histories."

She started to tuck her feet up then paused.

"You can put your feet on the furniture, we don't care that much."

Smiling, Lauren slipped off her sneakers and curled up in the corner of the leather sofa. "You have such a relaxed family- nothing like mine."

"You know, if you don't want to talk about it…"

She shook her head. "It's fine. I've only told my grandmother. No one else knows." She stared distantly at her drink for a few moments before continuing. "I feel like I can tell you this. You know what it's like to have people talk about you when you don't want it. I've been lucky to avoid all of that."

"By avoiding court altogether?"

"That and moving to England when I was sixteen. I got a whole new life there. No one knew me or my past. Of course, I never talked to my old classmates again, so who knows what they thought."

"Where did you go in America?"

"Foxwood, it's in Virginia. When I was there I was always in track or swimming. I'd always spend time with the novices, like I said earlier." She smiled sadly. "There was this one guy in my year who had the cutest smile. It was heart-melting."

"What happened?" Andre asked quietly.

She looked at the books as her fingers ran along the rim of her cup. "We dated. We kept it quiet because a royal being involved with a novice can cause quite the scandal. We loved each other."

She closed her eyes, swallowing hard. Lauren looked back at Andre, tears making her eyes bright. "I got pregnant. I didn't realize it at first. I denied it for longer. I eventually called my mother to tell her that I thought I might be pregnant. I told her that the father was a dhampir. The next day I was flown home, to court."

She paused, wiping at her face. She set down her cup on the nearby table and grabbed a tissue. "They took me to the clinic where a private doctor saw me. I was so anxious and terrified. I trusted my parents. I loved my parents. The doctor told me it would be a routine procedure. I didn't understand what he meant. I was so young, so trusting."

Lauren trembled. Andre sat still as a statue, listening. "I was anesthetized. I was told that it was for me to relax. I was unconscious when the doctor ended my pregnancy. I woke in pain. I was confused and hormonal and hurting."

Andre's mouth opened in shock.

Lauren's face twisted in anger. "When my parents saw me later, they explained what had been done to me. I was horrified. I wanted that child. I may have been young and naïve, but I wanted that child. Even if I didn't raise it myself, I could have given the baby away for adoption. We're rich. Hiring help to care for a child isn't a problem."

"I'm so sorry."

Her fists clenched. "The worst part was that my parents thought they did what was best for me. When I asked them how they could do this to me, my father looked at me with the coldest expression I've ever seen on another person. He told me that 'no daughter of his would give birth to some dhampir bastard'."

Andre stared at her for a few moments before he could control his emotions enough to form a response. "That's horrible."

"I went to my grandmother as soon as I could, hoping that she could do something to help me." Even through her tears, Lauren smiled. "She was so kind and compassionate. She kept me in her house for a couple weeks while everything settled. She forbade my parents from seeing me and put the restraining order in place. The doctor is no longer allowed to set foot on court property. There is a restraining order against him as well."

"That's understandable."

"They considered harsher punishments, like preventing him from practicing medicine on any Moroi, but we still need specialized doctors."

"True."

"Anyway, after that was all settled, my grandmother enrolled me at an academy in England. She's still fond of keeping scandals a secret. I couldn't possibly go back to the school where everyone knew me, in case anyone asked questions. This was considered a more elegant solution."

"Did your boyfriend ever know?"

Lauren shook her head, wiping at her tears. "I couldn't talk to him about it. I didn't know how. Plus, we changed my number and email, so no one knew how to contact me unless given my information directly. I never talked to him again."

"What happened to him?"

"He died two years ago- Strigoi." She took another tissue, wiping her eyes and nose with it. "He was an only child, and he would have liked to be a dad. He never had the chance. The chance he had was taken from him, and he never knew."

She drew a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "So, now you know why I hate my parents and will never talk to them again. They've tried to contact me several times over the years, but they've been blocked by everyone. I love my grandmother for that."

"I think you have every right to cut them out of your life. I can't understand how they were okay with doing that to you."

"Because they think dhampirs are lesser beings- slaves who aren't worthy of our time or consideration. How dare such a creature defile their precious daughter?" Lauren's voice had grown coldly venomous. "They are the reason I support dhampirs so absolutely, more so than most royals you can find."

"And that's why your grandmother thought you would make a good match for me."

"Yes." She smiled a little. "You love your daughter. Your family loves your daughter. It's obvious that if you ever settle down with someone, she would need to accept your children completely."

"True," Andre agreed. He studied her, trying not to be overwhelmed by the horror of the story she had just told him. "Would you consider going out with me? I'm still not sure that I'm ready for something serious, but I enjoy talking with you."

"You're not just taking pity on me for having had such a harrowing adolescence?"

Andre shook his head. "No, but learning your secret has taught me one thing about you- you are an incredibly strong woman. I admire you."

She smiled, picking up her coffee again. She took a long sip. "Thank you. I think I'd like to see you more." She tapped her cup against her lip, pondering. "There's just one thing I'm curious about, what's the story with you and your daughter's mother? I heard that she lives with you."

Now it was Andre's turn to look uncomfortably at the books, the floor, his cup. "We're friends. Her name is Katrina. She's only two years older than me, and she's been through a lot. She was assigned to court after a Strigoi attack where her charge was killed, and she nearly died. We met at a party here and started talking. I was still in denial about how responsible I needed to be."

"So, you slept with her," Lauren stated mildly.

"Eventually," he agreed. "For a week or so we just talked. She didn't mind that I had a kid, which a lot of girls dislike. She knew we could never be serious, but we could have fun together. After a while, she told me that she was afraid to die unremembered. She has no family."

Andre sighed, looking up at Lauren. "In my infinite wisdom, I suggested that maybe we could have a child. With a child, she would have a legacy after she died."

Lauren's eyes went wide. "You had your daughter on purpose?"

"Yeah, which my parents don't know. They think it was just another unwise mistake. I mean, yeah it was unwise, but I do care about Kat. I know what it's like to have a small family. I know how much people talk about the need for more dhampirs."

She rubbed her forehead with her fingers, as if warding off a headache. "Your son must have been an infant at the time."

"Six months," he confirmed.

She rolled her eyes, looking at him again. She laughed ruefully. "You don't think these things through, do you?"

"No," he agreed with a shrug. "I'm reformed now. Having the two kids really made me realize that I wasn't taking life seriously. I want to be more responsible. I have to be- for my children and for my family as a whole."

"I'm glad to hear that. So, why does… Katrina?... live with you?"

"Because it's easier. We have enough rooms, and Violet would be here whenever Kat is working anyway. She also doesn't have anyone else to support her. Does that bother you?"

"No," she shook her head. "I was just curious. It's unusual."

"And it makes you wonder if anything else is going on?"

She shrugged. "No, not really. It's none of my business, even if you are still involved with her." She finished her coffee and stood. "Thank you for listening. I need to get going, but it was nice talking to you. I'll keep your secrets too."

Andre also stood. "Thank you. I'm glad that you trust me enough to tell me about your past. Do you want to make plans to get together again soon?"

"Sure, I'd like that."

They made plans to meet up later in the week before heading to the front door. The laughter of two women echoed in the entryway as they neared. Andre and Lauren stopped at the foot of the stairs, coming face to face with Mia and Katrina. Andre stiffened, feeling very uncomfortable being in the room with the mothers of his children and another young woman. Katrina and Lauren merely looked at everyone curiously. All traces of levity evaporated from Mia's face.

Andre smiled diplomatically. "Mia, Kat, this is Lauren."

Lauren's smile was more genuine. She held out her hand, which Katrina and Mia both accepted. Mia did so reluctantly. "It's nice to meet you. I was just leaving." She shot Andre an amused look. "I look forward to our next discussion."

Andre shook his head, wishing that he could escape. He knew it was ridiculous to feel this way. He and Lauren were just friendly acquaintances, nothing more. "See you later."

Lauren continued past the other two women, leaving the house. Mia continued to stare at Andre. Katrina began to move toward the stairs but stopped to listen as Mia spoke up.

"Who's Lauren?"

Andre bit back his first reply that it wasn't Mia's business. Instead, he told her the truth. "She's a friend. We were introduced in December and ran into each other again today."

Mia put her hands on her hips. "She's a royal?"

"Her grandmother is Priscilla Voda."

Mia flinched, clenching her teeth. "How nice."

"I guess," Andre replied dismissively. "The kids are upstairs. I'm going to shower. Is Kevin staying here tonight or going back to your place?"

"I'll take him back," Mia replied. She drew a few deep breaths to calm herself. "How was the park?"

"Good, Kevin got himself covered in sand. He didn't eat any of it though."

Katrina laughed. "An improvement. Come on Mia, let's go see them."

Mia finally looked away from glaring daggers at Andre. She forced a small smile and agreed. The women both headed up the stairs. Andre closed his eyes, sighed, and followed after them.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thank you all for reading and following and commenting!_

 _We're over half-way through the story (have been for a couple chapters actually... as long as the chapters don't grow more, this and the next were originally one chapter but combined are over 10k words)._


	26. Illumination

Eric Dragomir was not looking for trouble. He just wanted to relax. He wanted to forget danger and politics. He wanted to be free of his responsibilities for a day. Was it really too much to ask for one day away? One day to forget everything that was demanded of him? Prince of a dying line. The one the Queen wants as her successor. Council member. Father. Husband. Grandfather. Businessman.

Was one day to himself too much?

Rhea apparently thought it was too much. They had fought, and he had left. He would be back. He had to go back. One day in Las Vegas to relax. To be by himself. To forget that he was a failure. He was a failure as a husband, as a father, and as a grandfather.

How many times had he failed in his marriage? There was only one that Rhea knew about. Emily had been gorgeous. She had listened to him. She had comforted him without demanding anything in return. And she was dead now. Dead because Eric hadn't even tried to get a guardian to protect Emily and Jill.

What kind of father doesn't even try to protect his child? Jill's brokenness and anger when they had met again after Spokane still haunted Eric. He had failed her. He had failed Andre and Lissa as well.

How much of Andre's rebellion was Eric's fault? Eric knew that Andre felt angry and betrayed when Jill entered their lives. When, a year and a half later, Andre told them about Mia's pregnancy, Andre wouldn't hear anything Eric said about being more responsible. They had argued ever since. Any time Eric tried to remind Andre about the importance of his image, Andre threw Eric's mistakes back at him.

And Lissa, how could Eric protect her? He hadn't been able to protect her from Victor Dashkov. He hadn't been able to keep the knowledge of her power a secret. Now, too many people were interested in her. They wanted to use her gifts to their own ends. And Eric could only do so much to keep her safe.

Then there was Violet. Eric's dhampir granddaughter was still just a baby. She was still such a fragile thing with no notion of the world, and yet there were people who wanted to decide her fate before she could even say her name.

Was it wrong to want a break from all of that? Was it wrong to want a break from responsibility and duty? Was it wrong to want something new and fresh and exciting?

Eric left for Las Vegas with his wife's angry voice ringing in his ears. The bitter accusation that she knew what he would do in Vegas. He had strayed before, could she really trust that he wouldn't again?

He found himself in Midnight, one of the Witching Hour's bars. It was elite and exclusive. The bartenders were always friendly, and they never asked too many questions.

He sat at the bar and ordered a beer. Frank Linden stood near the door, watching Eric and the room. Most Moroi didn't stay with their guardians while in the hotel, but most Moroi weren't their family's Prince. A few other guests sat quietly at booths or at the bar. A human news station played quietly on the television in the corner of the room. Eric watched it as he drank.

A woman entered Midnight. Her gown was a deep wine red, hugging her slim form from neck to waist and flaring out from hip to calf. It showed off a lot of skin but was still elegant. She walked like a dancer, light and graceful. Her hair was long, dark, and sleek. She smiled at the bartender, and he smiled back.

"Your usual?"

"Yes Sam, thank you."

"Right away."

Sam turned and began mixing her drink. She took a seat two chairs away from Eric. Eric glanced at her briefly before looking back at the television. He looked again when Sam gave the woman her drink. It was a blue cocktail. She sipped it, eyes closing as the liquid touched her tongue. She looked at Sam.

"Perfection, as always."

"That's what I like to hear," the bartender replied with a wink. "Just let me know when you want more. I've got to see the rest of my guests."

She waved him off with a laugh. As she took another sip, she saw Eric looking at her. Her dancing hazel eyes met his. He was surprised to realize that she was a dhampir. Young, in her mid-twenties. Her skin bore no marks, so she wasn't a blood whore, whatever else she might be.

"May I ask what you are drinking?" Eric asked.

"A blue long island."

"I never knew that was a drink. I'll have to order one tomorrow."

She looked at his drink. "Good idea, mixing beer and liquor is never a fun time."

He laughed. "No, definitely not."

She sipped her drink, studying him with interest. He wondered if she knew who he was. "Do you come here often?"

"Once or twice a year."

"To escape Court?"

"Am I so obviously a royal?"

She was smirking against her glass. "In Midnight, yes."

"Touché. Yes, I like escaping from court sometimes. What brings you here?"

Her eyes narrowed slightly as she sat a bit straighter. "I'm a singer. I perform two times a day, six days a week."

"That's a lot of performances."

"Yes, but I enjoy it, and it pays the bills." She drank some more and sighed. "There are more jobs out there for dhampirs than some people seem to believe."

"I'm sorry for offending you."

"You didn't," she replied, though her tone betrayed her annoyance. "However, it's a bit wearying that Moroi always assume the worst of dhampirs who aren't guardians. Non-royals are a bit more sympathetic at least - no offense." She added the last as an afterthought.

Her words, gently spoken, scorched him like fire. He had never given much thought to the futures of dhampirs, until Violet was born. Holding his granddaughter for the first time had started a chain reaction in Eric Dragomir's life that he still hadn't gotten a hold on.

The idea that his granddaughter didn't deserve any future her heart desired just because she wasn't a full blooded Moroi was repulsive. She should have every opportunity to follow her dreams- just as Andre, Lissa, and Jill had been given. That Eric's grandson and granddaughter could be forced down different paths based on race alone was like a knife to Eric's heart.

There were some on the council who wanted to force all dhampirs into service. They claimed it was too dangerous in the world - wasn't the attack on the school proof enough of that? Or they could make dhampirs into guardians at a younger age - is sixteen old enough to fight?

"What if I think that dhampirs should also choose their own paths in life?"

Her brows rose. "I... that would be a first from someone of your stature."

He took a few swallows of beer. "Sometimes life makes us reevaluate the way we see the world."

She tilted her glass toward him. "I'll drink to that. So, mysterious stranger, wanna talk about the ways of the world?"

He laughed, mirroring her gesture. "I'm not doing anything else right now. My name is Eric." He held out his hand to her in greeting, which she took. Her hand was soft and delicate.

"Rose - is there something wrong with my name?"

He had frozen, the smile on his lips dying. He withdrew his hand. Thoughts of her as a beautiful woman had shifted uncomfortably with the sound of her name. Rose was a name too intertwined with the vivacious young girl he had helped raise. "No, nothing. My daughter's best friend is named Rose." His foster daughter. The girl who had been his legal ward from the time she was a child. A dhampir whose future he had never questioned.

Her eyes narrowed for a moment before she resumed her friendly and open expression. "Well, my full name is Rosanna, but everyone calls me Rose. How old is your daughter?"

"My older daughter is seventeen. She will be graduating from school this year. Rose is also graduating, and we intend for her to be my daughter's guardian."

"How many kids do you have?"

"Three."

She hid a smile with a sip of her drink. "Well, senior year is always a fun time. Although... I do suppose that depends on the school and who you are."

"You figured out who I am; I suppose?"

She nodded. "Prince Eric Dragomir, it's nice to make your acquaintance."

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Rosanna. Now that names are out of the way, may I ask how a dhampir gets a job as a singer in a Moroi casino?"

"I have a good voice," she answered drily.

He laughed. "Point taken."

Smiling, she answered him. "I always had a voice for singing. My parents encouraged my vocal talents. I still went to an academy growing up. They took me out freshman year and enrolled me in an alternate school that most dhampirs in this area go to when they drop out. A lot of poor Moroi attend as well."

"You're from Las Vegas?"

"Yep. My parents work in casinos here, met here, married, et cetera."

"Your parents are married?" Marriage between a Moroi and a dhampir, while not unheard of, wasn't common in Eric's social circles. He had always assumed that it was similar among poorer Moroi, as well.

"Shocking, right?" She said sarcastically. "I also have Moroi half-siblings because my parents believe in continuing both races. It's weird, but it works for them. You seem so shocked, and yet you're one of the people making up laws that govern Moroi and dhampirs. Shouldn't our rulers know more about what normal Moroi and dhampirs do?"

Eric looked down, needing to hide the stunned look on his face. He had come to Vegas to escape from his responsibilities but was coming face to face with them against his will. "You make a good point. Maybe I am too removed from the cares of non-royals. Perhaps most of us royals are too involved with ourselves to know what is really happening to our people."

"Sorry to ruin your escape from court," she offered sympathetically.

He shook his head, meeting her eyes. "Don't be. I'm starting to realize how badly we need to change. Can you tell me more about life for non-royals?"

Standing, she smiled at him. "Sure." She motioned toward a booth nearby. "Why don't we get more comfortable seats?"

Eric agreed. With fresh drinks, they settled in the booth and began to talk. By the end of their conversation, Eric had gained quite the education. For as much as Eric knew about the world and about his society, there was also a considerable amount he didn't know.

Having lived his life within wards and in elite circles, Eric had been very sheltered. Most of what he knew about the Moroi world at large came through reports and hearsay. Rosanna's account of life outside of wards and without guardians was very different from the pampered life Eric had led. He knew so little about the people he was responsible for representing in the Moroi council.

When he went to his room, alone, Eric pondered the conversation for a long time. A conviction had grown in him. The seeds had been planted long ago, but now they began to blossom. He would support the rights of dhampirs and common Moroi. He would support Moroi becoming fighters and using magic offensively.

He needed to call Rhea, to tell her that he was an idiot. To tell her that he loved her and that she was far too good for him. He waited, though, so that he could talk to her in person.

Instead, he wrote an email to Tasha Ozera. He wanted to know how her research was going. He wanted her to know that she finally had his support.

* * *

Dimitri looked out at the city of Bucharest, Romania. It was the last weekend of April. He had spent the weeks after his time in Baia traveling with Tasha and Svetlana to the ancestral homes of the Moroi royal families. Svetlana and Tasha had set up the meetings in advance, ensuring that the archivists could gather likely documents for them. Tasha and Svetlana had scanned or photographed hundreds of documents. Sveta had begun reading through some of the records, searching for relevant information.

Dimitri had spent his on-duty time guarding Tasha. When he was off duty, which was an uncommonly large portion of his day, Dimitri searched the Moroi records for mentions of Robert Doru. So far, he had found nothing useful.

Dimitri had found record of Robert's birth. His mother had been a non-royal. His father was unlisted. He had attended school at an east coast American academy. After that, there were few records of him over the decades. Ten or so years ago, he had dropped off the record entirely.

Was Robert even alive? Had he gone completely insane like so many spirit users did? Mark and Oksana had implied that he was swiftly headed that direction. Could he have killed himself? Of course if he was dead, wouldn't there be a death certificate?

Dimitri wouldn't have been surprised if Robert had lost his mind. The darkness of spirit was so consuming. Dimitri knew how it felt. Some of it still lingered inside him.

He rested his hand against the glass. Night had fallen. The lights of their hotel spread out beneath them, as did the light of the surrounding neighborhood and city. He felt strange, looking out into the darkness instead of watching over his charge. He knew that he should be more concerned about their safety and security, but Tasha was rather resistant to actually being guarded. They each had their own rooms on the same floor, which had become their typical arrangement.

Next week, Dimitri and Tasha would be back in the United States. They hadn't talked about Ivan in weeks. Tasha had been focused on her research and Eric Dragomir's recent decision to openly support Tasha's progressive faction. While Dimitri was glad that there seemed to be some progress toward creating a better future for their people, his thoughts were still focused on Ivan.

Ivan had been turned into a Strigoi. Dimitri had to find him. Dimitri had to bring peace to his friend. Whether by ending Ivan's life or restoring it, Dimitri had set his mind to the task. Everything else, even visiting his family, felt like a delay.

At least his family would be better off now, and Dimitri wasn't worried about their futures if he died. He had given them a large percentage of his inheritance, with the rest entrusted to them upon his death. They would never have to worry about money again.

Dimitri sighed, looking out over the city. He wondered where in the world Ivan was. He wondered how long it would take until this task was accomplished. Steeling himself, he looked away from the window. It was time to tell Tasha about Robert Doru.

* * *

Ivan walked swiftly behind Sofia as they made their way through the streets of Bucharest. It was the last weekend of April. After a short trip to Novosibirsk to visit with Galina, who Ivan was surprised to recognize as Dimitri's former school instructor, they had made their way to Romania.

Sofia had grown quiet and irritable since her summons to visit an immortal being in Bucharest. Ivan had learned nothing more about the reason behind the visit or anything about the immortals. All he knew was that Sofia wanted him to accompany her, so he did.

Ever since Sofia had shown Ivan how powerful she was, he hadn't questioned her. She hadn't touched him again either, which was odd. Now that Ivan was aware of how sex felt as a Strigoi, he wanted it again. He wanted it with another of his kind, but he would never dare raise the topic with Sofia. He knew she had done it to show him her power. He thought that she rather despised the act otherwise.

They stopped outside of a square stone building with red doors and red window frames. Graffiti was scrawled on the building and on the sidewalk in front of it. It appeared to be abandoned.

Sofia turned to him, low level anxiety showing on her face. "Whatever happens inside, do not accept any food or drink. Try to avoid speaking to anyone. Do not fight."

Though he hated to be ordered around, Ivan agreed with her. "Understood."

Giving him a brisk nod, Sofia knocked on the door. It took a few moments for the door to open a crack. Sofia said something to the figure behind the door in what Ivan thought was Romanian. Whatever she said satisfied the person inside, as the door was opened for them.

As Ivan stepped inside, cold swept through his body. It tingled into the very core of his being. Sofia's grimace showed that she felt it too.

"What was that?" he growled.

"Insurance," rumbled a deep voice that made the hair on Ivan's arms rise.

Predator, his instincts screamed. Ivan looked at the man who had opened the door and felt himself recoil. It was as if two images were laid over top of one another. The man was tall and muscular. The image of the man- if he was a man- was ruggedly handsome. The second image reminded Ivan of a serpent.

He continued talking, the images never quite resolving into one in Ivan's mind. "The ward strips all glamours and blocks all immortals from their power while inside the building. Come with me."

They followed him from the entryway into an open room which was set up like a restaurant. A bar stood to one side of the room. Booths lined the walls and center of the room. Curtains blocked most of the booths, so Ivan couldn't see the faces of the beings he felt around him. He could smell a few humans in the room too, though he didn't know where they were.

The faces he saw were strange and alien. They were mostly humanoid in form, though their skin, hair, and eyes were all inhuman shades. Some had scales or feathers. Some had vertically slitted eyes. Some had eyes that were a single solid color - black, white, blue, red, et cetera.

Ivan's instincts were screaming for him to flee. The powers in the room were magnitudes higher than Sofia's. He felt like a mouse walking into a den of hungry cats.

They stopped at the bar, ordered by the snake-man to wait. The woman behind the bar observed them with disdain. She said nothing, drying glasses with a white cloth. It seemed an oddly mundane task for an immortal being.

A minute later, the snake-man returned. Sofia told Ivan to remain there while she went to conduct her business. Ivan found it annoying, but he also had no desire to know what business she had to conduct here on behalf of a seven-century old Strigoi.

Alone, Ivan studied the woman at the bar. She looked human except for her coloring. Her hair and skin were varying shades of green. She looked at him again, eyes narrowed. Her eyes also seemed human, though the aquamarine color of her irises wasn't. The energy radiating from her didn't scream predator, though there was an ancient strength to her.

"What are you?"

She thought for a moment, mouth opening and closing a few times before she decided on the right term. When she spoke, her voice was pure and clear - melodious in a way that was almost painful to Ivan. "I'm a water spirit. We have different names in various folk tales, but that is the simplest term."

"You dislike me."

"I dislike all of your kind - all true immortals do. Strigoi are abominations. You shouldn't exist."

He wanted to lash out at that, but something in the room restrained his violence. "Shouldn't exist?"

She began making a drink on the lower counter, out of Ivan's view. "All true immortals come into the world as immortals. Your kind were mortal once. It makes you aberrations."

"So, you're telling me that only Strigoi are made into immortals?" She nodded. "So, how did you come into existence?"

She tilted her head to the side, studying him. The hostility had faded from her face. "That is a complicated question. Some species of immortals are born to a parent or parents. Others are duplicates of an original- like some plants and fungi. My kind mostly emerge from the waves."

"Like Aphrodite?" Ivan scoffed. "Rising from the sea foam?"

She held his gaze for a long moment- seething. "Be careful not to mock things you cannot understand, child. Your kind has been on the Earth for a breath. Mine was here long before yours became a plague upon the humans. Not that the humans are much better. At least as immortals, you don't destroy the rivers and seas."

"The humans? We prefer Moroi, though we hunt dhampirs and humans as well."

"You're all the same."

"What does that mean? Moroi and humans are entirely different races."

She gave him a closed lipped smile. "If they were entirely different, they couldn't interbreed." She resumed making a drink out of his sight.

Ivan didn't reply. He wasn't sure there was a reply to her statement. He hated being in this room, surrounded by beings he didn't understand. He hated being limited in his power by the ward around the building. He hated waiting to do Sofia's bidding.

He watched the woman. She moved gracefully. Her hair rippled down her back, falling to her waist in shimmering blues and greens. "Do you have a name?"

She glanced up at him. "Lethe."

"Goddess of Forgetfulness? One of the rivers of the underworld?"

Her lips parted in a smile, revealing tiny serrated teeth. "So said the ancient Greeks." She held up a glass filled with a clear liquid that seemed to glow faintly. She stepped closer to him, holding the glass in both her hands.

Ivan watched her, entranced. His eyes fell upon the liquid in her hands, and a fierce longing rose in him to taste it. He wanted it more than he had wanted anything in his life. He began to reach toward the cup when a voice shattered the spell.

"Lethe!"

She pulled away, setting the cup down and lowering her head.

Ivan blinked several times. He dimly realized that she had been compelling him. He looked first at her, then toward the person who had called out to her.

The being was tall, slender, and androgynous. Its skin and clothes glowed faintly. Everything about it made Ivan feel strange - like he could cease to be if the being wanted.

"You are not to harm him, Lethe," the being said. "He must leave here unmolested."

She raised her head slightly, not quite meeting the being's eyes. "As you command, that I will do."

"Watch over him until he leaves, and you will have done all that I require."

She bristled, visibly tensing, but nodded.

Ivan watched the being, trying to meet its eyes, but he couldn't. The being was too luminous, too glorious for him to fully observe or comprehend. Ivan watched as the being left them. It seemed to vanish as it turned a corner.

Ivan felt himself return to normal. He looked at Lethe, who was visibly unnerved. "What was that thing?"

She shook her head, pouring the liquid from her glass onto the base of a nearby plant. She drew a few deep breaths before looking back at Ivan. "That was an eternal. An eternal who has now demanded that I save you from yourself while you're here."

"Eternal?"

She tapped her fingers against the now-empty glass. Her words came slowly as she began to describe the indescribable. "They are ageless. They are timeless. I told you that all immortals have a beginning. Some immortals can even be killed. Eternals began before there was time. They cannot die or even be harmed. They exist outside of time. And that one intervened on your behalf." She shuddered.

Ivan couldn't comprehend her words. An angel was the only thing he could think of that even remotely resembled Lethe's description of this eternal being - or a god. Did angels exist? Was there a God or gods somewhere out there? He had never put much thought into theology before being Awakened, and it seemed unimportant to him now. However, he was an immortal being in a room filled with immortal beings he had once thought to be myths. Shakespeare came to mind as he considered what had just transpired. There are more things in heaven and earth, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Perhaps Shakespeare was correct.

"Why did you obey it?"

She laughed. "I cannot disobey the command of an eternal."

"Could I?"

"Of course you can. You aren't a true immortal." She groaned and proceeded to clean the cup. "Your kind are so tedious."

"What was in the drink?"

"Water," she answered slyly.

He glared at her.

"It was water - mixed with enchanted silver. It would have burned you from the inside - ending your so-called life."

Sofia had warned him not to drink anything. She had warned him to avoid speaking with anyone. It appeared that Sofia had been correct in her warnings.

"Why would you attempt to kill me?"

"I already told you that I despise your kind. I kill mortals regularly if they come too close to the waters I protect. Now let me continue my work, and do not wander away! I'm responsible for you now, much as I despise the task."

Annoyed, but still unnerved, Ivan took a seat and waited for Sofia to return.

"Why are you a bartender?" The question came to him as he watched her give drinks to various patrons.

An amused smirk twisted her lips. "I've lived for a very long time. This is an amusing diversion - a place where immortals can meet to discuss business in peace. Neutral grounds are important for keeping peace in the world - not that your kind care about peace."

"What's wrong with seeking power?"

She wrinkled her nose. "What is power but a matter of perception? I am immortal and invincible. I hold sway over rivers and lakes. I can compel other beings to their deaths. Do I not have power? Yet what is power for you - domination of mortals? Accumulating wealth as mortals measure it? Such things are ephemeral. And should your goal be to dominate the world, you will find many other immortals willing to challenge your position - to say nothing of the humans who infest the earth."

"Do no immortals seek power? Or is this something you ascribe to the failings of my former mortality?"

"Some do," she conceded. "The dragons are especially power hungry."

"Dragons? Is every fantastical creature real?"

"In every story there is at least a drop of truth. How much is true and how much is a lie is quite variable. As for dragons, there have always been many kinds. Some would be known to the modern world as extinct varieties of dinosaurs. The other kinds are immortal shape shifters. The one who let you inside is of their kind."

Ivan disliked how unsettling all this information was, but at the same time he needed to know more. He wanted this information. He wanted every advantage he could get. Knowing about the immortal world, even if it hated Strigoi, was an advantage he couldn't let slip through his fingers. "Tell me about the other immortals."

To his surprise, Lethe was quite willing to share about the myriad races of myth and legend who still walked upon the Earth. What was true and what was a lie, Ivan didn't know. Lethe was an entrancing story teller, and Ivan absorbed every detail of the stories she told.

When Sofia finally reappeared, she hardly glanced at Ivan before heading toward the entrance. He quickly followed after her. When they reemerged into the night, Ivan breathed deep. The blanket of the ward had lifted. A surge of primal wrath bubbled up in him. He needed to hunt. He needed to kill.

Ivan looked around, glancing at their surroundings. Behind the immortal lounge was a hotel, several stories high. It looked elegant and aristocratic. He wondered what kind of people were in there. He wondered what they would taste like.

Hotels were too messy for hunting. They would have to go to one of the nearby parks. There were sure to be a few humans who could easily be taken as prey.

* * *

Tasha Ozera twisted her engagement ring on her finger. She couldn't believe Dimitri's words. A way to restore Strigoi?

"I'm sorry for not saying anything sooner, but I didn't want to distract you from your work. I know how important the research is to you."

She walked to the window of her room, ignoring Dimitri. She couldn't speak or think. She closed her eyes against the tears. Ivan was a Strigoi. He was lost to her. She had been telling herself that over and over again for more than a month. They were planning to hunt him down and kill him. Now Dimitri was telling her that there might be another way. She opened her eyes as she rested her head against the cool glass of the window.

Ivan.

Her heart clenched. Breathing was difficult. Why Ivan? Why her? She had already endured her brother and sister-in-law turning into Strigoi.

She wanted to forget it all. She wanted to run from it. She wanted to bury herself in work and forget the empty aching chasm inside her soul. Why had she agreed to do this? She wasn't strong enough.

"Tasha." Dimitri's voice was gentle. He was standing a few feet behind her. She could see him reflected in the window. "If you want me to do this on my own, I can."

"No," she whispered. "I can't let you go rogue. If you abandon your guardian rank, you will lose access to the resources you need to find Robert Doru. You never abandoned him, and I won't abandon you now." Drawing a deep breath, Tasha turned to face Dimitri. "I promised you that we would free his soul. If there is a way to restore him, it's worth trying. I'll see what I can do when we get back to Minneapolis."

"Thank you. I'll let you rest."

She nodded mutely, watching as Dimitri left the room. When she was alone, Tasha turned her face back toward the window. Ivan absorbed her thoughts. She turned the ring on her finger, wondering when she could finally be at peace.

"Where are you, my love? If this mad dream is possible, would you even want to be restored?"

Tasha rested her palms against the glass, staring out into the city lights of Bucharest.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thank you all for reading and following and commenting!_

 _So, in case you're curious, I chose a real location in Bucharest (courtesy of Google Maps) for where Ivan, Tasha, and Dimitri were. The hotel I chose and the reference building I chose for the immortal lounge are next to one another at an angle. (I posted a picture of it on my facebook site which is bluegoldrosestories ) I also posted the link to where it is on streetview. The hotel is- Epoque Hotel Relais & Châteaux._

 _Lethe is a combination of several different myths and creatures of lore, plus a bit of embellishment that's partly inspired by the Dresden Files._

 _Thank you for reading! I'll see you again in two weeks! :)_


	27. Community

"You need to learn how to have more fun."

Rose looked at Adrian skeptically. "I do have fun."

"Not enough."

Rose sighed, leaning against the wall of her room in the Dragomirs' house at court. She had her arms crossed over her chest, tired of his prodding for her to go to one of the crazy court parties. It was the last week of April, and students were on vacation for the week after Easter.

"Hmm, let's see ... Last fall Victor Dashkov kidnapped Lissa, and we didn't know what was going on with us. I learned that I died and was resurrected. In December, I saw a bunch of Evan's family members dead in their home. A couple weeks later, I saw Jill get shot, and I had my arm and nose broken. I spent the next three months mostly locked in my room, when not in class."

"Oh come on," Adrian scoffed. "You were sneaking off with Belikov to 'train' during that time."

"I was training," Rose protested. "And he broke up with me after the attack at school. He's out there somewhere planning to hunt down Ivan."

"Didn't Christian say that his aunt was doing research in Europe right now?"

"Yes, but that's beside the point. Dimitri said they were going to visit his family after Court, too. They're getting some things done first."

"You still haven't explained why you aren't having fun. Right now, all you've talked about is the bad stuff. Having a bad year is a great reason to live a little."

"Or it's a great reason to be more serious." Rose motioned toward the door. "I'm fine staying here for the evening while you go off with Lissa, Christian, and Andre. Believe me, they already tried getting me out."

"Do you hear yourself? Christian Ozera is going to a party that Rose Hathaway won't attend."

"I don't want to spend time with all the royals. You know how they are about dhampirs."

Adrian frowned. "So disappointing. I could show you off like you're my girlfriend."

She made a face. "Uh, no. I'm not interested."

"No fun at all." Adrian walked out of her room, though he lingered just beyond the doorway. "What if you just come for a little bit?"

"Adrian…"

"You could come to a guardian party instead," Katrina said from across the hall. "David and I are planning to go."

That piqued Rose's interest. She walked into the hall, pushing past Adrian. "A guardian party?"

Katrina grinned, resting a hip against her door frame. "Some of the guardians have been here long enough to own decent houses, and they host parties just for guardians. You're basically a guardian already, so you could go. Though I could get you in, regardless."

Rose started smiling. She looked between Katrina and Adrian. "I think her idea sounds more fun."

"You're hopeless." Adrian gave a melodramatic sigh. "How wild can a group of guardians really get? I bet you all sit around swapping stories of life as guardians."

"We do, actually," said David Smith, Andre's guardian. He had come into the hall from his own room. "And we drink, watch sports or shows or movies, play card games and board games, dance, and gossip about royals."

"Just not these royals," Kat said firmly, moving her hands to indicate the house. She grinned at Adrian. "Though if you'd like to share anything juicy about the Ivashkovs…"

"No," Adrian laughed. "But let me know what they're saying about me?"

"If they have anything to say about you, Rose probably started it," David teased.

"Hey!" Rose glared at him.

Adrian's eyebrows rose. His lips quirked into a lazy smile. "You know there's a rumor at St. Vladimir's that we're dating."

"Ugh." Rose walked back to her room. "Go away. I'm not dating anyone. I don't care what rumors you've heard or made up."

"Actually, Jill was the one to tell me about that rumor. A few kids in the middle school were talking about it, apparently." Adrian looked at Rose thoughtfully. She was only a foot inside her room. "The other rumors are about you and Mason."

Rose glared at him some more. She tried to keep her tone flippant. "Old news." She looked at Kat. "Come help me figure out what to wear."

Katrina suppressed a smile as she walked past Adrian and David. Rose shut the door behind them.

"Good night, Adrian," she called through the door. She rested her back against the door, rolling her eyes.

Katrina was smothering her laughter with a hand. When she was done laughing, she met Rose's eyes. "He certainly seems interested in you."

"Yeah, but I'm not interested in him. I'm not interested in Moroi at all, actually."

"Really?"

Rose nodded. She walked to her closet, opening it to look at her clothes. "When I was younger, I liked their attention. When Andre got Mia pregnant, I was kinda freaked out by the idea of being with a Moroi. I've only dated dhampirs since."

"That makes sense. You're only a year older than her, right?"

Rose nodded as she pondered her clothes. "What should I wear to a guardian party?"

"Something casual. You can be a little dressier if you want to try impressing anyone - not that you have to. Everyone there probably already knows your name. They definitely know your mom's name. Don't be intimidated by anyone, you've already proven yourself in battle - which you don't need to talk about. We talk about everything. If you ever feel uncomfortable with one group, wander to another room and watch TV or play a board game." Katrina pulled a red top from the closet, handing it to Rose.

Rose inspected the shirt, holding it out to decide if that was the one she wanted. Smiling a bit, she put the shirt on her bed. She went to a dresser and pulled out dark blue jeans. "So this is just to relax and have fun? Unlike the royal parties, where everything seems to be about showing off?"

"Yeah. I mean, I've obviously been to royal parties too, but the guardian ones are about community. We're all living stressful lives, some more than others, so it's a chance to unwind together. There's one every day if you know who to ask - which I'll be sure to teach you."

Katrina turned so that Rose could strip out of her clothes and change into the new outfit. "What's that going to be like? I mean, I sorta know my future job and responsibilities, but I feel like I don't know a lot. How will I fit with the other Dragomir guardians? Who will my partner be?"

"Well, your responsibilities when you're at court will be modified. You'll have rounds and gate duty, like everyone else at court. You might occasionally get office duty, too, though they tend to give that stuff to permanent guardians like me. It gets annoying to give paperwork to someone one day when they could leave the next day. Since you'll be with Lissa and her family, you could leave at any time."

"So I could guard anyone in the family?"

"In theory, yes. In practice, rarely."

Now dressed, Rose walked to Kat again. "Could you ever guard them?"

Katrina looked at her. "The outfit is great. Um, sure if they needed an emergency guardian to run errands with them. A lot of court guardians do that. There are a lot of Moroi who live here without assigned guardians. When one leaves court for a short time, we escort them. I usually don't do that."

"Why not?"

Kat frowned. "I have panic attacks when guarding outside of Court."

"Oh. I'm so sorry! Was that because of the fight you were in in Tokyo?"

"Yeah. Wear your hair up to show off your marks. I'll do it, too, don't worry." Katrina took the loose ponytail out of her hair and quickly pulled it into a bun higher on her head.

For the first time ever, Rose saw Katrina's molnija marks. Katrina had six tiny marks on the back of her neck. "I didn't realize you had so many," Rose said quietly.

Katrina shrugged. "I don't like talking about it. I don't like thinking about it. But it does give me standing when some of the young hotshots brag or comment about me retiring to be a mother."

"Are they really like that?"

"Of course they are," Kat snorted. "But most are fine."

Rose brushed out her hair and pulled it into a tight bun, showing off her marks. "What do you think?"

"Perfect! I just need to grab my shoes and leave a note for Eric and Rhea that you're with David and me."

Rose grabbed a pair of boots from her closet and sat on her bed to pull them on. "Who's watching Violet?"

"Jill volunteered to do it after they're done with the family dinner. I can only imagine how weird it is for Rhea."

"Having dinner with Jill's grandmother and other relatives, yeah. Lissa thinks it's weird too, but Eric is worried about any of the family being out of wards, and Jill's family wanted to spend the week with her." Rose shrugged. "Compromise, I guess."

"I suppose it's necessary with so many complicated relations."

"Yeah, I think it's nice not to have so much complicated stuff. My mom and I talk more, which is nice." A soft smile lit Rose's face. She was happy that the relationship with her mother was improving. "She has relatives out there somewhere, but I've never asked about them. I'm kinda curious about my dad though. Mom mentioned him a couple times recently, but no details."

"It must be weird not knowing who your father is."

Rose looked at her, curious. "Do you know yours?"

"I know his name." Katrina shrugged, and they walked out of Rose's room.

They headed to Katrina's room so that she could finish getting dressed.

"My dad and mom were together," Katrina said, "but he died in a car accident, and she died giving birth to me." Katrina slipped her feet into her shoes and grabbed her keys. "My parents were only children, and there was no extended family. You have extended family, though?"

"Yeah, second cousins and a great aunt. No idea about any details, though. I never thought about it."

"So you could have guardian cousins?"

Rose blinked a couple times, startled. "Maybe, yeah. But I could also have half-siblings for all I know."

They headed out of Katrina's room, closing the door behind them. Rose made a face, thinking about the possibilities.

"You could ask your mom for more details."

"Yeah. I didn't think about it when she was here over the weekend. Maybe I'll email her tomorrow. Tonight, we are going to have fun."

They headed downstairs together. David met them in the foyer. Adrian was long gone. They left a note on a table saying where they were going, then left.

They walked across Court together. They first travelled past the large houses in the royal section. The next section was smaller homes where lesser royals lived. Further on were apartments and a few guest buildings. A large gap came next - a park with raised flower beds and fountains. Next were the poorer Moroi homes, followed by the homes owned independently by court guardians.

Rose was still getting to know all the sections of court. Katrina and David had gradually shown her more and more areas that she would need to know as a guardian. She would work here, with them, in a few short months. She wondered where Eddie would end up. She wondered where her other friends would end up.

Rose's mind wandered to Lissa's as she walked. Lissa was with her family and Christian at a dinner in one of the court's many banquet halls. Jill's family had wanted to see her for the holiday break, but Eric didn't want his daughter outside of wards. The compromise had been for Eric to bring Jill's relatives to court. Jill had dozens of relatives on her mother's side. She had aunts, uncles, and cousins to multiple degrees, plus her grandmother. Most of them had come and were gathered in the banquet hall.

Lissa found it weird to have Sonya Karp with them, even though she had known for years that Sonya was Jill's first cousin once removed. Jill's grandmother was Sonya's aunt.

Christian stuck to Lissa's side throughout the evening. She knew that he wasn't used to being at Court every weekend. Though she knew he loved their time together, he would never fit in with the other royals. He would never be fully accepted. Not that he minded being an outsider. Of course, being at a family gathering which involved none of his own family, but was rather Jill's extended family, was even stranger than dealing with the royals.

Jill's family wasn't royal. They had a few guardians scattered throughout the family, but most were unguarded. They worked, sometimes in the Moroi world and sometimes in the human world. To them, family was the most important thing.

When they were finally free to leave, Lissa and Christian walked to the residences where they would be attending a different party. Andre was going to be there, along with many other young royals. It wasn't the type of party Lissa or Christian favored, but Lissa felt that she needed to be involved more and was dragging Christian along.

Rose resumed paying attention to her surroundings. They were across court from the Dragomir residence, passing a few small shops and homes. People were walking around, a little slower now that the weather was milder.

"Do you two ever go to the royal parties?"

Kat tilted her head questioningly. "Um, yeah. How do you think I met Andre?"

David laughed. "Yes. There's some that different royals will throw and welcome dhampirs to."

"It's an excuse for people to hook up, half the time, but not always," said Katrina. "The one I met Andre at was just a bunch of younger Moroi and guardians hanging out."

"Guardian parties also include people looking to hook up," David added. "Many guardians don't have long-term relationships, so mixing at parties is a good way to find a short-term partner. A weekend fling with another guardian is less … complicated than a weekend fling with a Moroi."

"Hey!" Kat glared.

"That wasn't directed at you," David said a bit defensively.

Rose looked between them, thoughtful. "So, Moroi and guardians don't just hang out? It's just a hookup scene?"

David looked at Rose, a bit sad. "No, but it's not like it was in school, Rose. Some Moroi are great at being friends with dhampirs, others aren't. You'll find that even Moroi you've known your whole life will treat you differently when you're a guardian. The Dragomirs won't, not toward you, but you'll still find that things are different."

"And you'll start wanting to be around other guardians more." Katrina motioned toward a nearby house. A few dhampirs, off duty guardians, lingered near the doorway. Two smiled when they saw Katrina, David, and Rose. "Jess, Damien, you got here already."

Jess, the young woman with hazel eyes and hair dyed platinum, grinned at Katrina. She and Damien were light skinned, which was common for dhampirs. There were some exceptions, depending on the dhampir's human heritage. "You said you'd be here half an hour ago."

"I had to get Rose ready. Rose, this is Jessica Chapman and Damien Mancuso. Jess, Damien, this is Rose Hathaway."

Rose shook hands with them, trying not to notice how the others nearby paid a bit more attention when they heard her name. "Nice to meet you. Kat and David convinced me that coming here would be fun."

"We'll try not to disappoint," Damien promised.

Rose, Katrina, David, Jess, and Damien walked into the house, making their way past a living room and dining room where people were gathered. People were watching sports in the living room, though Rose didn't catch which sport, as she and her group moved past the room. In the dining room, people were playing board games, though, again, Rose didn't see what games they played. Rose and her group entered the kitchen where more guests were sitting or standing in groups; eating snacks; and drinking from cans, bottles, and cups.

"You're new," a resonant male voice said.

Rose turned toward the voice. He was an older dhampir with weathered tan skin and hair that was mostly grey and white. Rose thought that he might have been sixty or older. He studied her with pale blue eyes that didn't miss anything. Rose thought that he could pass for a thin and somber version of Santa Claus. She held out her hand to him in greeting. "Hi, I'm Rose... Rose Hathaway."

He accepted her hand, shaking it. "Harry Werner, welcome to my home. I've heard quite a bit about you." His eyes sparkled a bit when she stiffened. "Oh, nothing bad. Well, perhaps some things, but I was young once too. I've known your mother since before you were born. She's quite the guardian. And they say you're quite a talented young woman yourself."

Rose smiled at him. "Thank you."

"Well, enjoy yourself. My house is a place for you young ones to relax."

"And we appreciate it," David said.

Kat hooked an arm through Rose's. "Come on, let's get you some food and introduce you to more people."

Introducing Rose took the better part of an hour. There were more people gathered in the finished basement playing more board and card games while another television played in the background. Rose and her friends settled in the basement, joining a few other guardians who were in their twenties or thirties.

Rose's group played poker without betting. A different group was playing for cash. Rose enjoyed the game and getting to know the other guardians. Some of the guardians were assigned to court, while others were only there temporarily.

Two more guardians joined their group after an hour or two. The woman was a bit taller than Rose with warm light-brown skin and large brown eyes. Her short hair was tightly coiled and nearly black. The man who stood behind her was taller, with light blonde hair and dark grey eyes. They were both young, mid-twenties. They took seats at the table with Rose, Katrina, David, Jess, Damien, and a couple others.

"How were your shifts?" David asked.

"Good," the woman replied. She spoke with a light British accent. "Had to turn away a car of very lost humans from the gates. I had to find someone who knows the area to get them directions to the resort they were looking for." She looked at Rose, holding out her hand. "I'm Medha."

"Rose."

"I haven't seen you before. Are you assigned here?"

"I'm still a novice. I'm going to graduate in June." Rose looked at David and Katrina. "They wanted me to come and meet other people since I'll probably be at Court most of the time."

"Rose is going to be a Dragomir guardian, unless the queen wants her," Jess said.

Kat rolled her eyes. "Tatiana isn't going to take her away from Lissa. Even if she's the best novice this year."

"You don't know that I'm the best," Rose protested. She didn't like having this much attention from so many older guardians, even if they were only a few years older. "There are dozens of academies."

"How many other novices are going to graduate with a molnija and a zvezda?" David asked. "You do realize how rare it is for any of us to have a battle mark, let alone to have one as a novice."

Rose gave him a bitter smile. "Yeah, I do. But I'd rather trade my zvezda for the lives of everyone who died at St. Vladimir's." She stood, drawing a deep breath. "I'm gonna go grab a soda. Be right back."

Rose walked away from the group and up the stairs. She drew a few deep breaths, calming herself. She knew that David was just trying to brag about her achievements, but he didn't understand. He had never faced a Strigoi. He had never killed. She took a can of soda from the kitchen counter and walked outside.

The air was cool, though it was refreshing instead of chilling. Spring had arrived, and the scent of pollen was in the air. The screen door slid open and closed a few minutes later. The blonde man stood beside her on the back porch, sipping a beer.

"You're Rose Hathaway."

She squared her shoulders, growing tired of people knowing her name. "Yeah. Who are you?"

The corner of his lips twitched into a small smile, and he had a Russian accent. It reminded her of Dimitri, which made her chest ache. "My name is Ilya Volkov. I'm friends with Dimitri Belikov. We graduated together. He told me about you. Told me to look out for you."

She bit down on her lower lip and looked away. Her hand went to where her pendants hung on a chain beneath the collar of her shirt- the nazar from her mother and the heart from Dimitri. It hurt to breathe, thinking about him. She loved him. She missed him.

"I haven't heard from him since he was assigned to Tasha Ozera. I know they were in Europe…" She shrugged as her words trailed off.

"I know that he plans to hunt down Ivan Zeklos. I told him he's an idiot, but he didn't care. He was very determined to lay his friend to rest."

A short, bitter laugh escaped her lips. "Yeah, that's Dimitri. I know why he's doing it, but I wish he wasn't."

"Those two were close as brothers."

Closer, thought Rose. She knew how close the bond brought you to another person. Even now, though the bond was dim due to Lissa drinking at the party she was attending, Rose could feel Lissa. She couldn't imagine losing her connection to Lissa. She still had nightmares about Dimitri's screams.

"I know." She sipped her soda, tapping her fingers against the can. "He really told you to look out for me?"

"Yes." He was smiling in what Rose thought of as a Russian smile - reserved and closed lipped. "He said that you would be graduating in spring and likely be here at Court when you get assigned to Vasilisa Dragomir. I'm assigned to Court, so I could easily watch out for you." He studied her briefly. "He must love you a lot."

Rose tried to ignore the aching tightness of her chest. "He hasn't talked to me in over a month."

"That's how he is. He values honor and duty first, then love."

"I know."

"This madness - this desire to hunt down Ivan and kill him - will end one day. Until then, it will be his all-consuming thought. Of course, guardians always claim that duty comes first, even when it doesn't."

"Do you think he'll come back?"

"For a girl as beautiful as you, he'd be an idiot not to." Laughter bubbled up in her. He grinned in response. "Ready to go back to your friends?"

She was.

Rose and Ilya rejoined their friends in the basement. David leaned over to Rose, whispering an apology in her ear. She smiled at him, assuring him that everything was fine.

Rose spent the evening talking and getting to know Ilya, Medha, Jess, and Damien. No one talked about their marks or battles, for which Rose was grateful.

Rose learned that all four were assigned to Court. Ilya had been reassigned to Court after a disagreement with his previous Moroi. He was likely going to remain at court, at least for a while. Jess, Medha, and Damien had been reassigned to Court on a more temporary basis. Medha's assignee had died of old age. Jess and Damien's assignments had married and needed to reduce their guardians down to two.

Rose eventually left with Katrina and David, promising to talk to the other guardians again soon.

"Did you have fun?" Kat asked.

Rose grinned at her. "Yeah, they're great. They seem like a lot of fun to work with after I graduate. I can see how guardians all seem to know each other now."

"Everyone hangs out when we're off duty," David confirmed.

They continued talking as they walked back to the Dragomir's house. They were in one of the royal guest housing sections when familiar voices called to them. They stopped, turning to see Lissa, Christian, Andre, and a girl Rose didn't know walking toward them.

Rose didn't register the curious look Kat gave Andre and the girl because Lissa took all of Rose's attention. The bond was entirely numb. Rose could feel nothing from Lissa. "How drunk are you?"

Lissa giggled, wrapping her arms around Rose in a hug. "More than I should be."

"Andre was having her try new drinks," Christian said. He also looked drunk.

Rose shot Andre a glare. "Aren't you supposed to be looking out for your little sister?"

"I am," Andre protested. "I'm sober, and I'm escorting her safely back home."

Lissa giggled again, looking Rose in the eyes. She was still holding onto Rose. "It was fun. Christian enjoyed himself too. Did you have fun with Kat and Dave?"

"I did." Rose considered disentangling herself from Lissa, then thought better of it. She realized that Lissa was actually using her for support. She shifted Lissa so that they could walk arm in arm. "I made some new friends among the guardians."

"Good!" Lissa motioned for Christian, who supported her other side. "Adrian said you're being boring."

Rose snorted. "He said I should come to the party with you guys and pretend to be his girlfriend."

Lissa giggled more, her head falling forward as she shook with laughter. She eventually looked at Rose, trying to suppress her laughter. "Seriously?"

Christian shook his head. "Wow."

The girl Rose didn't know spoke up. She was standing near Andre, trying not to pay attention to Katrina's curious look. "Well, he must not have been that invested since he left the party with Felicity."

"He's not that invested in her either," Andre said dryly.

"Which is one of many reasons why I'm not interested," Rose said. "I'm Rose, by the way." She waved at the other girl.

"Lauren," the girl replied. "I'm friends with Andre." Lauren looked more directly at Katrina. "Just friends."

Kat laughed. "I'm not questioning it, much. Mia's the one who glares daggers at Andre any time he seems remotely interested in a new girl."

"I noticed," Lauren said.

Andre looked distinctly uncomfortable. "On that note, we should all be heading home. Lauren's staying a few houses away from us, so we might as well all walk together."

So they did. They talked about the two parties. The royal party had been wilder and involved considerably more alcohol. There had also been dancing, which Lissa had coerced Christian into joining. And though Christian still didn't fit in with most royals, there had been no issues with his presence.

When they were all back in their own rooms at the Dragomir's house, Rose stayed awake for a while. The connection she had felt with the guardians was strange to her. Though she had only met most of them once, Rose had felt a bond with them. In some ways, she felt closer to the guardians than she did to Lissa's family or even to Lissa.

Rose loved the Dragomirs, but she wasn't a Moroi. She wasn't royal. She was a dhampir, and so were the other guardians. She didn't know what it meant. She didn't have the words to explain the feeling of connection she had to the guardians. She only knew that she had felt at home with them in a way she had never felt among the Moroi. Rose could have enjoyed the party with Lissa and Christian, but she would have been an outsider. She hadn't been an outsider with the guardians. She had been one of them. They had understood Rose in a way that Lissa and her family never would or could.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _This chapter takes place after Eric's section in the previous chapter but before the other sections in the previous chapter._

 _Also, for all the dates in this story to make sense (New Year's Day and Easter), this story takes place in 2011. (That's for people like me who get obsessive over placing dates and times.)_

 _Thanks for reading! See you again soon!_


	28. Cracks

Searching for a Moroi who didn't want to be found was more difficult than searching for a needle in a haystack. It was mid-May, and all of Tasha and Dimitri's searches for Robert Doru had come up empty. It was wearing on them, but the alternative of searching for and killing Ivan without trying to restore him seemed like a terrible alternative.

Dimitri and Tasha had returned to the United States after Bucharest. They were staying at Tasha's home in Minneapolis and had fallen into a routine. Tasha worked as a part-time self-defense instructor. When she was home, she did research on her political projects or on finding Robert. Dimitri, when not at the gym with Tasha, spent his time researching Robert. He searched record after record for hours in hopes of finding any lead.

Tasha came home to Dimitri mopping the kitchen floor. She looked at him with mild amusement. "Didn't you do that yesterday?"

"I dropped a glass," he replied. He motioned toward the trash can with the handle of the mop.

"Ah." She put her purse on a nearby side table and flipped through her mail. "Any luck today?"

"No."

There was weariness in his voice. Tasha felt it, herself. The loss of Ivan lingered. Loss always lingered, but their choice to search for Ivan made the loss stay fresh. Every day, they looked for a way to change Ivan back. Every day, Tasha knew her love was out there killing.

She walked to the desk in the next room, setting the bills on it and throwing away the junk mail. She glanced at her laptop. She should check her email and do more research. Progress on both her projects was slow going. The idea of wading through archaic Russian texts on her own sounded tedious. Svetlana might have made progress with her documents since yesterday, which was unlikely. Or Tasha could continue looking for any mentions of Robert Doru.

The idea of looking for Robert drained the life from her.

Tasha looked toward the kitchen. "Do you want to get out and do something different?"

Dimitri's voice came to her from the other side of the kitchen. "Like what?"

"Anything. I'm going to snap if I have to do research again today." She walked into the kitchen. "I'm so tired of looking, day after day, into dead ends. I need a break."

Dimitri closed the utility closet, turning to look at her. "Dinner?"

"Movie. If we go to dinner first, we'll just talk about research."

The corner of his lip quirked up into a small smile. "Good plan."

An hour later, they made their way to the movie theater. They watched a comedy, which they found amusing. It felt good to laugh.

Afterward, they went to dinner nearby. They avoided discussing research. They avoided discussing the people they missed. They briefly discussed politics. There was apparently something going on at Court that both the Ozera family and Eric Dragomir found concerning.

"But they didn't give you details?" Dimitri asked.

"No." Tasha sighed. She poked a stalk of asparagus with her fork. "Eric told me to keep pursuing my research. He even wants to meet some of my fighters."

"And you still have no idea what changed his mind?"

"None. He emailed me saying that he decided to support my side of the issues. I'm not complaining, even though it was sudden. Maybe he's finally paying attention to Jill's opinions and the fact that Violet is a dhampir."

"Maybe."

Leaving the restaurant, they walked down the street to where the car was parked. They passed shops and restaurants as they walked. The sun was still out, though it was low in the sky.

Tasha stopped walking. She rested a hand on Dimitri's arm. "Hey, do you know how to dance?"

He arched an eyebrow. "Some dances, yes. Why?"

Tasha pointed toward a nearby bar, grinning. There was line dancing advertised on a sign. "It looks like fun."

"We can."

"If you don't want to, we don't have to."

He smiled. "It does seem like fun. And you're right, we haven't had much fun lately. They always told me I was too serious — that I was wasting my life."

She squeezed his arm, giving him a sad smile. She didn't ask for him to clarify who "they" were. She knew. She missed Ivan and Brandon, too.

So, they went to the club. It was a western themed bar, with animal horns, ropes, and pictures of the American West on the walls. They both knew how to line dance, though neither had done it for years.

The dances were simple and fun. They followed the steps, often in rows facing one another. And they laughed. It had been a very long time since either of them had genuinely laughed.

When they returned home, they were both happy. They were both smiling. They playfully danced together when they were in the living room. And they drank a little, perhaps irresponsibly.

But it was fun. It was the most fun they had had since before the attack on the school. Dancing — holding hands and sometimes pressing close — was the most either of them had touched another person in a long time.

The feel of Tasha was strangely familiar to Dimitri. He knew her. Memories that were his and not his caressed his mind as he danced with Tasha. He didn't intend to let those thoughts so close to the front of his mind, because they weren't his own. Dimitri had never felt romantic love for Tasha. He had never felt lust for her. But Ivan had loved her passionately. The echo of that love remained in Dimitri's memories.

It was unbidden, the thoughts that swam in Dimitri's mind. The way Tasha felt in his arms. Or was it how she had felt in Ivan's arms? The way she smiled. The way she laughed. The scent of her. Those memories were shared, intertwined.

The other memories had never been Dimitri's. He had only been an unwanted observer. But Dimitri knew everything about Tasha that Ivan had known. He knew the curves of her skin. He knew the taste of her. The feel of her. The sounds she made as she came undone.

They stilled. Hand in hand. Bodies close. Their eyes opened to look at one another. And for a second, she saw that knowledge in his eyes. Her breath caught.

In that moment — only a heartbeat — the world hung on a razor's edge.

Tasha raised her hand. Her left hand. She touched his cheek. Light glinted on her ring, her engagement ring. Her promise to marry a man who was now a monster. The man they were seeking to restore or kill.

She broke, pulling away from Dimitri as tears welled in her eyes. She fled to her room before Dimitri could say a word.

Dimitri froze as she left. He was startled. It wasn't her reaction that bothered him. It was his own reaction that disturbed him. He had been in memories that were Ivan's. Dimitri didn't want them. He had never wanted them. He had never intentionally spent time in those memories. He had always shut them away. He was disgusted with himself for losing control. It wasn't fair to Tasha. It wasn't fair to Rose, who Dimitri still loved. It wasn't fair to the memory of Ivan.

Dimitri sank to the couch, face in his hands. He hated himself for that lapse of control. Nothing had happened, but it had felt so wrong. How could he look at Tasha through Ivan's memories?

He raked his hands across his face, into his hair. He had failed them all. In his dreams, every night since the attack, he failed Ivan again and again. The severing of the bond and Ivan's last terrified moments of life still echoed in his mind and soul. It was a persistent, aching reverberation. Being in Ivan's memories while dancing with Tasha felt like the ultimate betrayal of Ivan, Tasha, and Rose.

He did cry at that thought, finally letting silent tears fall as he again buried his face in his hands. He had abandoned Rose when she needed him the most. Yes, he had to leave the school. Yes, he had to do something to bring rest to Ivan. But he had cut Rose off completely.

 _For her good_ , he tried to reason with himself. But not even he believed that anymore. Dimitri had been so focused on getting everything out of the way before going off to find Ivan that he had forgotten to live. Ivan and Brandon had wanted Dimitri to live his own life. They had wanted him to enjoy the time he had, because life was so fleeting. Now they were dead, and Dimitri had been doing nothing to cherish the time left to him.

He had failed them.

 _So, do something about it_ , he scolded himself.

He would talk to Tasha and apologize in the morning. They had been having fun before that moment. He had felt alive again. He had laughed again. He didn't remember the last time he had genuinely felt joy. Probably when he had been with Rose before the attack on the school.

He grabbed his phone and called a number he had neglected for two months. Rose's phone rang but went to voicemail. He knew that she was at school, so she might have left her phone in her room. Drawing a deep breath, he left a message for her and waited.

* * *

Rose wore a sleeveless red dress to the last formal dance of high school — senior prom. It wasn't the dress she had bought with Dimitri. She couldn't bear to wear that without him. She was also pretty sure that it was against the dress code at St. Vladimir's.

This red dress was dark, shimmery, and clingy. Rose was pretty sure that she was the hottest girl at the school in the dress, and the looks of the guys certainly reinforced that opinion. She wore her hair up in a twist. It showed off her marks, but she was used to that by now.

She went with Eddie and Mason. None of them had an official date, so they were going together. They were protective of one another and knew their time together was short. They would graduate in a little over a month.

Rose danced with them throughout the night. She had once disliked school dances, but she had come to enjoy them. She had liked slow dancing when she had a boyfriend.

She danced with other guys too - even Christian danced with her. And Rose danced with Lissa to a lively song. They felt young dancing together, which was perfect.

Rose loved the happiness she felt through the bond with Lissa. She loved that they could still have fun and laugh after everything they had gone through.

"What do you want to do when we graduate?" Rose asked Lissa when they walked to get punch. "I mean, it's like a month away. We should plan."

Lissa, wearing a knee-length silver dress, frowned. "You know that I have no idea yet. I keep thinking that I want to go to college, but I haven't done anything for that. Mom and dad said I need to at least look this summer. I really think that I want the year off to travel. I've seen so little of the world."

"I like that plan." Rose smiled a little. "You, me, my guarding partner, Christian, and any guardian he gets."

Happiness still radiated from Lissa, but sadness flickered through her for a moment. Rose read the thought and felt that sorrow too. Lissa wished that Rose still had Dimitri. She also thought about Ivan, and the pain it caused Christian to have lost his uncle.

"We still need to live, Liss," Rose said softly. "They'd hate it if we stopped living."

"I know." Lissa smiled again as she looked at Rose. "Can you believe we're almost done?"

Rose shook her head. "No, but I'm excited for it."

"Me too." Lissa looked across the room, eyes searching for Christian.

Rose rolled her eyes at the thoughts straying from Lissa's mind to hers. "Ugh, you two." Her tone was playful, though she was occasionally jealous of their relationship. Rose still missed Dimitri.

Lissa dragged her eyes back to Rose. "Sorry."

"It's fine." Rose laughed, waving a hand toward Christian. "Go to him."

Lissa gave Rose a quick, one-armed hug before she walked across the room to Christian.

Rose watched her go. She sighed, trying not to feel jealous of their relationship. She was happy for them, but Rose wanted what they had. She wanted her love. She wanted her happily ever after. She knew it was stupid and childish to feel that way. She knew that most fairy tales didn't end happily. Life didn't end happily. Everyone died one day.

"You're frowning again."

Rose looked over at Mason. He was studying her with his usual concern. She smiled a little. "Overthinking."

"Didn't we come to prom to have fun?" His smile teased her, coaxing a bigger smile from her.

"True." She finished her drink, throwing out the plastic cup.

He held out his left hand to her, which she accepted. They danced again. It was a slow dance. Rose rested her head against Mason's shoulder as they swayed slowly to the music.

Mason's arms were comfortingly familiar to Rose. They had known one another since childhood. They had trained together, played together, and learned together. They had shared countless moments in the years they had known one another. They had loved each other. They still loved one another, but it was different now. Through all the pain and awkwardness of the past year, they had regrown a friendship that was stronger than before.

They would never date again, they both knew, but they had become friends again. They spent a lot of time together when no one watched. They had held each other many nights when nightmares of the attack still plagued them. Rose had been spending time teaching Mason to write and fight left handed. She learned with him, so that he wouldn't feel alone.

"Will you visit me when I'm at Court with Lissa?"

"I'm sure that I can find a way. It's going to suck being here without you and Eddie."

She pressed closer to him, squeezing him tight. "Yeah. I can't believe we only have a month left." She sighed. Pulling back, Rose looked at him curiously, a smile spreading on her lips. "What's the first memory you have of me?"

He thought for a moment, then he smiled too. "We were probably six. You climbed to the top of the jungle gym and hung upside down from your legs. I tried copying you and fell on my head."

Uncontrollable laughter burst from Rose. She pulled away from him, shaking from the force of her laughter. He rolled his eyes, laughing with her. Mason led her from the dance floor. They walked outside, into the warm May air. She eventually stopped laughing. Her makeup smudged when she wiped at her eyes.

"What's your first memory of me?"

She tried to quell another burst of giggles, though it was difficult. "We were in art class. We were five or six, drawing with crayons. Eddie was eating one and he convinced you to try it. You did."

Mason laughed with her. It was the first time Rose could remember hearing Mason genuinely laugh since the attack.

"I missed your laughter," she said.

"Missed yours, too," he said.

They were quiet for a few moments, just standing together in the warm spring air.

Rose yawned, genuinely tired after all the dancing. "I know we're supposed to go to a party, but I'm ready to sleep. You go. Have fun. Laugh more."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Rose walked away from him, needing space and time to be alone.

She was still on the top floor of her dorm. She was still alone with the metaphorical ghosts of her friends. Ivy still wrote, happy in her new life. And Rose still saw Meredith, a literal ghost, outside the wards.

In her room, Rose stripped off her dress, changing into comfortable pajamas. She went to the bathroom to wash off her makeup, then returned to her room. She noticed her cell phone. It was blinking with a message.

Her heart nearly stopped when she saw who had called her. With trembling hands, Rose sank onto her bed. She called her voicemail and listened to the sound of Dimitri's voice. He sounded weary and heartsick.

"Rose, I'm sorry you're not there to answer. You're probably busy. Or you're angry with me. I wouldn't blame you for that. I'm sorry. I left you when you needed me. I've been so wrapped up in thinking about Ivan that I forgot to live. He wanted me to live. Instead, I've spent two months…" Dimitri sighed. "Ivan is still out there. I'll tell you about it later. That's not the point of my call. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I miss you. I love you. I want to hear your voice again."

The message ended.

It was several moments before Rose could move. She wiped away the tears which had appeared on her cheeks. Drawing a few deep breaths, she returned the call. He answered on the second ring.

"Rose?"

"Hey Comrade." The words caught in her throat. "Two months? It took you two months to call?"

"I'm sorry for that."

Rose settled on her bed, curling up with her pillows and his hoodie. "I've missed you." She was mad at herself and him for her tears.

"I've missed you too."

"What have you been doing?"

"A lot of things. We traveled to Brandon's family and my own. Then we toured the Moroi archives in Europe for Tasha's research."

"Sounds boring. Not the seeing your family part, the archives part."

He chuckled at that. "It was and wasn't. We're not hunting Ivan right now."

"Oh? Wasn't that your goal?"

He sighed. She knew that he was deliberating something. "I met with Oksana when I was home. She mentioned another spirit user who knew something … something unbelievable. We're trying to find him, but we've had no luck."

"What did she say?"

He took a deep breath. "I … there might be a way to restore Strigoi."

Rose sat straight up. "What? How? That's impossible."

"I know, but …" He sighed again. "It's worth looking for the spirit user who claimed to have done it. It's worth trying to restore Ivan."

Rose shivered. "Yeah, it is. So that's what you've been doing?"

"For hours every day since the beginning of April."

"Have you made any progress?"

A weary sound came through the phone. "No. It's like he disappeared - the spirit user we're looking for."

"But you're not ready to give up yet?"

"Would you?"

"No. If it was Lissa, I'd keep looking."

They were quiet for a while before Dimitri spoke again. "How have you been?"

She debated how to answer. Should she tell him about her nightmares? Should she tell him about Mason? Why should she? He had left her.

"I'm fine. Things were hard for a while, but they're getting better. I've been at Court every weekend. Andre's guardians have shown me around. I'm making friends with some guardians at Court."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Ilya talked to me. He said you told him to look out for me."

"I did."

"Thank you."

Dimitri chuckled at that.

Rose was confused by his laugh. "What?"

"I thought you'd be mad," he said. "You normally hate when people are overprotective."

She smiled a little. "Yeah, but I thought it was sweet. He's pretty interesting - first guardian I've ever heard of being reassigned for fighting with his Moroi."

Dimitri laughed, a bit harshly. "Did he tell you why they fought?"

"No."

Dimitri paused before responding. "Ask him about it the next time you're at court."

"Okay, I will." She yawned, laying down. She curled beneath her covers, his hoodie on her pillows.

"Are you ready for bed?"

"Yeah." She yawned again. "But I want to keep talking to you."

"I'll call you again soon. I promise."

She closed her eyes as a tear slid down her cheek. "You'd better."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have abandoned you. I love you."

"I forgive you." Her voice caught. "Please, don't leave me again."

"I won't. I promise. I won't abandon you again."

"Talk to me until I sleep?" She curled up closer to his hoodie.

"What do you want me to talk about?"

"Anything. I just want to hear your voice."

"I love you," he said.

A sleepy smile spread across her lips. "Love you too," she mumbled.

And he talked to her until she was asleep.

* * *

Tasha was gone before Dimitri woke. He knew that she had gone to work, and that she would return when she was ready. It was by far the strangest guardian arrangement he could have envisioned. Tasha treated him as a friend who just happened to be there instead of a guardian. Dimitri busied himself with research and more house cleaning until she returned.

Tasha's cheeks were a bit flushed when she returned, meaning that she had stopped by a local feeder. She set two bags down on the kitchen table - groceries and take out.

"I got Chinese, if you want it," she called.

Dimitri was in the living room. He walked into the kitchen, watching her put away groceries. "Thank you."

She looked at him, giving him a half-smile. "No problem."

"Tasha, I-"

"Don't," she interrupted. "We were drinking and dancing and almost got carried away. Nothing happened, and it's best forgotten."

He opened his mouth, closed it, then sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "Fine."

She put away the empty grocery bag, then looked at him again. "So, I figured out an avenue we haven't tried yet."

"Oh?"

"Have you heard of Abe Mazur?"

Dimitri's eyebrows rose. "Yes. He has quite the … reputation."

Her expression turned wry. "He has a reputation for getting a job done. He also has a reputation for finding secrets. If anyone can find Robert Doru, it's Abe Mazur."

"Maybe."

"Well, we're meeting with him Monday at court. I already made the arrangements."

Dimitri met Tasha's gaze. Her bright blue eyes gleamed with renewed purpose. While he knew that this was a good avenue to pursue, the idea of meeting with Abe Mazur was not something Dimitri relished. But the meeting would be worth it if they could find a way to restore Ivan.

* * *

Ivan held Dahlia as Sofia began the slow, bloody process of killing Greg. Holding the older Strigoi would have been difficult for Ivan if she wasn't frozen in terror. They beheld the true rage of Sofia. She was a terror to behold, and while she did frighten Ivan, the memories of the immortals were still more terrible than she.

"My rules were simple." Her voice came out as a hiss as she paced around the table.

They were in the basement of her home in Montana. It was a large stone room where Sofia cleaned bones for her ossuary or turned them to ash in the mortuary furnace. There were also tables and trays set up for torture.

"I told you not to kill servants, and I told you not to have a blood whore in my home. And while you obeyed the former, you disobeyed the latter."

Ivan and Sofia had returned from Europe to find Greg raping a human female while drinking from her. Sofia had flown into a rage, snapping Greg's neck before anyone else could react. She had then carried Greg to the basement and strapped him to the table. He was pinned to it with silver spikes driven through his wrists and ankles. The human girl was now in a guest room, being tended to by one of the servants.

"And you -" Sofia glared venomously at Dahlia. "You could have informed me of his habits. Instead, you chose to look away."

Dahlia trembled beneath Sofia's gaze. "I didn't … I didn't know what to do."

Sofia, wearing gloves, slammed another charmed silver spike into Greg. It pierced his thigh and bit into the table beneath him. He shrieked in agony. Dahlia whimpered.

"You could have called. You could have left. Instead, you chose to stay here while he raped the girl."

"But she was just human," Dahlia pleaded.

Quick as a flash, Sofia crossed the six feet to Dahlia and slapped her. The force was so great that Dahlia's jaw cracked, and Ivan nearly lost his balance.

"So much insolence." Sofia's voice was cold. "But I knew your time would come. Ivan has proved more useful to me in two months than you have in over a decade of work. Now watch as I take the life of Greg piece by piece."

Sofia's work was bloody and meticulous. She sliced away skin and flesh from Greg for hours, occasionally allowing the skin to heal and regrow. His screams echoed in the underground chamber.

When she grew bored, Sofia began explaining all the ways she had found of killing Strigoi. She described in detail how to remove flesh from bone with acids and insects. She even explained how she could do it to end Greg's life. She allowed him to mull over all the violent possibilities of her power.

"Of course," Sofia sighed tiredly, "all this talk and cutting has made me weary. I still have the girl to deal with, and someone needs to cover for your position. And I still need to kill Dahlia."

Without hesitation, Sofia picked up a sword. The blade was sharp. She swung it with practiced grace and cleanly cut off Greg's head. She wiped the sword clean on a nearby rag before setting it back on its rack. Sofia turned, looking at Dahlia and Ivan.

"For you, I think the sun is a much better punishment. All you need to do is watch and wait."

Dahlia squirmed in Ivan's grasp. She tried to wrench free and run, but Sofia met her eyes, and she went still. A cold smile fell crossed Sofia's lips.

"You will come with us and do as ordered," Sofia said. Her voice was smooth as silk.

Dahlia didn't resist as she was led upstairs and outside.

Behind the cabin, a large stone slab stood three feet off the ground. Iron restraints for a person's head, neck, and ankles were affixed to it. Dahlia was compelled onto the platform, unresisting as Ivan locked her into place. Sunrise was still an hour away, but the sky had begun to lighten. The compulsion faded as Ivan and Sofia walked back inside.

"Can she break out of the restraints?" Ivan asked.

"I doubt it. If she does, she will have a difficult time finding refuge from the sun. Come, it is time to speak with the girl."

"What are you planning to do with her?"

They walked quickly through the halls.

"I plan to offer her a choice."

They reached the room, and Sofia's entire bearing changed. She became softer, gentler. Her face seemed compassionate and human. It was a strange contrast to the blood covering her clothes. Ivan watched from the doorway as Sofia entered.

The girl might have been in her late teens or early twenties. She was curled into herself on a bed. She glanced toward Ivan and Sofia, shuddering at the sight. Sofia spoke soothingly to her. Whatever Sofia said, and how much compulsion she used, Ivan couldn't say. The girl relaxed as she listened, eventually nodding in agreement.

Sofia turned to Ivan. "Tessa has agreed to become one of us. She does not want to be weak, ever again. I want you to do it. She can be your first."

A shiver ran through Ivan. It was unexpected and yet … he wanted to do it. He approached them slowly. The girl recoiled a bit at first, then seemed resigned. She met Ivan's eyes as he sat beside her.

"It will be quick," Ivan said.

Tessa nodded, tilting her neck toward him. Ivan could see the wounds from where Greg had bitten her. He had been cruel with his bites. Ivan was gentler.

"Drain her," Sofia said. "I will tell you what to do next."

Ivan did as commanded. He sunk his teeth into Tessa. She cried out at first, but he compelled her to only feel the bliss of the bite. She shuddered against him as he wrapped his arms around her. She soon lost all the strength in her body and went slack. Ivan felt her heart give one last fluttering beat before it stilled.

"Now cut your wrist," Sofia commanded. She pressed a knife into his hand. He did as instructed, cutting a clean slash across his wrist. "Hold it to her lips. The rest will simply happen."

Again, he did as instructed. The girl made no movement at first, then she opened her lips and drank deeply. A tremor ran through Ivan at the power flowing from him into her. When her eyes opened again, they were ringed in red. Ivan had made a new Strigoi.

"Welcome," Sofia told the girl. "You are one of us now. Do you want to watch as Dahlia dies?"

Tessa's teeth, new fangs included, gleamed red as she smiled at Sofia. "Yes."

They walked to a room on the second floor, which overlooked the backyard. The window was darkened, protecting them from the light which could destroy them. They watched the sun rise over the mountains and forests. Light filtered down onto the house and onto the platform.

It was a relatively slow process. At first, Dahlia twitched. She was struggling against her bonds but couldn't break them. As the rays of the sun fell upon her body, she cried out loudly enough to be heard inside the house. She thrashed and screamed as the light lingered. Smoke rose up from her body. No flames appeared, only smoke. Parts of Dahlia's body began to turn to ash. Her screams abruptly stopped long before the rest of her body turned to ash.

Ivan's skin crawled. He was fascinated by the sight. At the same time, he now had a stronger fear of the sun.

"The older a Strigoi, the longer the process takes," Sofia said. "Blood, the blood of Moroi and dhampirs, protects us. It binds to us and gives us life. The stronger we are, the more resistant we are to the sun. The light of the sun is said to cleanse darkness from the world, and what are we but the children of darkness?" She turned to Tessa. "Come, I have much to show you."

Ivan remained at the window while Sofia led Tessa away. He studied the ashes of Dahlia and thought of Greg's corpse in the cellar. Ivan hadn't liked either of them, but they had worked together. He wondered why they had disobeyed Sofia. He wondered why they hadn't set off on their own. He wondered why Sofia reacted so strongly to this one thing.

Ivan didn't speak his questions. He simply held them in his mind. He contemplated them the way he contemplated the immortals and the elder Strigoi. Some things were too large to grasp at first, needing to be puzzled over for longer until a conclusion could be reached. He was still learning. He was still growing in knowledge and power.

But what is power?

Lethe, the water spirit, had asked him that question. And the truth was that Ivan didn't know. He yearned for power, but he didn't know what type of power he desired. Power over death and life was such a trivial thing. Ivan could kill. Ivan could Awaken. Yet it only meant something in the moment. There was something raw and thrilling about taking and giving life, but it was fleeting. It was a high to chase.

Ivan considered Sofia. What was power to her? She had been a Strigoi for nearly 200 years. She was physically the strongest Strigoi Ivan had encountered. He had not met the elder Strigoi in Florence who Sofia had met the immortals for.

Ivan walked from the window, heading to his room. What made her tick? She had been sixteen when taken by Strigoi; Ivan knew that from the records he had read before being Awakened. Yet Sofia always claimed that she had been Awakened at seventeen. A year difference could have been an error in the book, but was it? Or had she lived that year as a prisoner? A blood whore?

With that thought, many things clicked into place for Ivan. He knew that she hated sex, though she had been willing to use it as a lure. He knew that she hated the practice of making blood whores. She hated it so much that she had slaughtered two of her workers and offered to Awaken the girl - Tessa.

Sofia's words had been an offer of protection, which was uncharacteristic of her. She had no concern for other people of any species.

 _Never be weak again._

Was that Sofia's goal? To surround herself with people who couldn't hurt her? To control her own life? To kill those who had sought to control her or defy her?

 _Yes_ , Ivan thought. To Sofia, power was to be free of anyone else's control. It was useful to know this. He needed to know his enemies and allies. Though, he wondered, which one was she?

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thanks for reading! See you again soon!_


	29. Reunion

Rose paced her room in the Dragomir residence at Court. Dimitri would be there soon. He would be there because he and Tasha were coming to Court for the weekend.

She picked up her brush, twirling it in her hands. She set it down on the other side of her room without using it. She walked to her closet, trying on shirts and taking them off a few moments later. She was throwing another top onto her bed when there was a knock on the door.

"Yes?"

"Can I come in?" Lissa called to her. Rose hadn't even felt her approach.

"Yeah."

Lissa entered the room, eyes going wide as she shut the door behind her. "Wow. I've never seen your room so messy."

Rose sighed, sinking onto her bed. "I don't know what to wear."

Lissa pressed her lips together, hiding a smile. She pushed a few shirts higher onto the bed and sat beside Rose. "You don't need to impress him."

"Don't I?" Rose sighed, laying her head on Lissa's shoulder. "He left me. What if he's happier without me?"

Lissa leaned into her. "You said that he kept telling you how sorry he was and how much he loves you when you were on the phone."

"Yeah."

"Then I'm pretty sure that he still loves you. You could wear rags, and he would still love you."

A slow smile spread on Rose's lips. "Thank you."

"That's what I'm here for."

"Yeah," Rose laughed. "Help me get ready?"

"Of course."

They stood. Rose wrinkled her nose at the sight of her room. "Ugh."

"Clean up later. Get dressed now."

"Fine." Rose looked around the room. "I have no idea where my brush got to."

A soft laugh escaped Lissa as she began to look. She found the hairbrush under a shirt on a side table. "I'm not even sure how you managed to get your shirts everywhere."

Rose shrugged. "I'm distracted."

"Oh Rose," Lissa sighed affectionately. They sat on the bed again, and Lissa brushed Rose's hair to calm her. "Everything will be fine."

Rose let out a long, relaxing breath. "I know."

Lissa put down the brush. "Feeling better?"

"A little. I still don't know what to wear."

Lissa looked at the clothes which were scattered around the room. Then she looked in the closet. Together, they soon decided on Rose's outfit. She wore a sundress which was white with a floral print. It brushed the tops of her knees. Rose slipped on sandals to finish the look.

Rose wore her hair down, letting it flow over her shoulders and back. She straightened her necklace as she looked in the mirror. The silver heart and blue nazar bead didn't match, but Rose always wore them together.

"You look like summertime," Lissa said cheerfully.

"I do. Thank you."

"Any time. Now, let's go downstairs."

With one last look around the disarray that was her room, Rose went with Lissa. They found Jill and Christian in the kitchen, picking at a tray of snack foods.

"You take forever to get dressed," Christian told Rose.

"I wanted to look nice."

Christian rolled his eyes.

"You do look nice," Jill said. "What are you planning to do today?"

Rose picked up a stick of celery and chewed on it before answering. "I was hoping to catch up with Dimitri. We haven't talked much since March."

Jill smiled. She was still uninformed about Rose and Dimitri's history. "That's a great idea."

"Yeah." Christian's tone was a bit too amused. "I'm sure you two have lots to catch up on. And Aunt Tasha wants to have dinner with me and Lissa, so he's probably got time. They're only going to be here for a bit over a day."

Lissa walked over to Christian, brushing a hand across his arm. "She has to tell him all about the training you guys have been doing."

"I still can't believe dad is okay with us learning self-defense," Jill said.

Rose looked at Jill, expression wry. "He likes you learning defense, not offense."

"I know." Jill rested her hands on her hips. "But I still plan to fight one day."

"You were shot," Lissa said mildly.

"I remember," Jill replied. "There's not much I can do against a bullet, even magic can't stop one, but I can learn to fight against a Strigoi. I may not face one again, but I can be better prepared."

"What are you planning to do today?" Rose asked Jill.

"Evan is introducing me to some of the musicians who live here. I missed out on the school's musical stuff this semester, so he's trying to make up for it. He misses that aspect of school."

"Didn't his aunt forbid him from seeing you?" Lissa asked. "I know we were sneaking you two to things together, but this is new."

"She gave up," Jill said. "He never listens to her, and she's tired of how stubborn he is. So, now he just does what he wants, within reason. He still sees a counselor for everything."

Rose grinned at that before looking at Lissa and Christian. "And you two are going off on a date while your parents and your aunt talk, right?" She motioned to Lissa and Christian in turn, with her celery stick.

"Yes," Lissa said with a smile.

"They finally have a good movie at the theater here," Christian said. "You know how rare that is."

"Yeah," Rose agreed. She looked at the clock above the sink. Dimitri and Tasha should be there soon. "Andre has the kids out?"

Jill answered Rose's question. "Mia's got Kevin. Andre has Violet at the park. I think Mia and Kat might be with him?"

"That sounds … interesting," Rose said. "Does Andre have a new girlfriend?" She had seen him with the same Moroi girl a few times over the past few weekends.

"He claims they aren't dating," Lissa said, "but he has been spending more time with Lauren Voda lately. She's back in England now." She smiled at Rose. "Apparently you don't read all my thoughts."

"I only read them when I need to. I have enough of my own thoughts to keep track of without needing yours, too." Rose stuck her tongue out teasingly at Lissa.

Lissa mirrored the face before laughing.

They chatted for a bit as they waited. Evan appeared at the back door for Jill, and they left together. Shortly afterward, the front doorbell rang. Rose felt herself stiffen at the sound. Christian laughed at her reaction.

"It's not funny," Rose muttered through gritted teeth.

He laughed again. "It really is. I've seen you more relaxed when killing Strigoi."

"It will be okay," Lissa said soothingly.

Rose let out a deep breath. "I know."

A few minutes later, the housekeeper escorted Tasha and Dimitri into the kitchen. Alina left to tell Eric and Rhea that Tasha had arrived.

Tasha quickly approached them. She embraced Christian tightly. "I missed you."

"Missed you too," he replied.

When they separated, Tasha quickly embraced Lissa and Rose, though Rose barely acknowledged the gesture. Rose's eyes were fixed on Dimitri. She stared at him, drinking in his features. He was doing much the same to her.

"You two should go catch up," Tasha said. Her tone was light and teasing. "Dimka, you're not on any schedules, go have some fun in your life."

Rose's cheeks grew warm.

Lissa and Christian both made stifled sounds behind Rose. Dimitri, for his part, remained composed. His eyes still studied Rose, though they did flick toward Tasha at her remark.

Dimitri muttered something in Russian which made Tasha chuckle. He then looked at Lissa and Christian. "It's good to see the three of you again." His eyes again went to Rose. "Rose, do you want to take a walk?"

"Sure." She gave him a warm smile. The anxious butterflies inside her still fluttered madly, but she could put on a good face. "Back door is this way. See you guys later."

Rose started walking before they could respond and was quickly followed by Dimitri. She drew a few deep breaths when she reached the door. She stood there, waiting for him.

When he reached her, he gently touched her arm. She felt tension drain from her at that touch. A moment later, she wrapped her arms around him. His arms went around her back, drawing her close. She pressed close to him, breathing in his scent, drawing comfort from his embrace. Tears fell, though they were quickly absorbed by his black t-shirt.

"I missed you," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. His voice was rough with emotion. "I'm so sorry for hurting you."

Rose nodded, not raising her head. She had missed him so much. She had missed the feel of him in her arms. She had missed the feel of his fingers running through her hair. She held him a moment longer, then pulled away. She looked up at him with a watery smile. "I know. Let's go."

She wiped at her eyes as they walked outside.

The night air was warm and humid. Rose was glad of the light dress. In Montana, the nights were still so cold that she needed a coat. Pennsylvania felt like summer and smelled like spring flowers and grass. Court was slowly beginning to feel like a home, but Montana would always be the place Rose thought of as home.

"How was the visit with your family?" she asked.

"It was good, given the circumstances. I always love seeing them, but it was very soon after the attack…" He sighed. "I wasn't very good company. They were understanding though, and we still enjoyed our time together."

Rose nodded. She picked a direction and began walking. Dimitri walked beside her. The court had an abundance of walkways to follow, and Rose had already mapped most of them in her head.

"I understand," she replied. "Are you doing okay with the loss of the bond?"

Dimitri was silent for a few moments before responding. "I don't know. I … in the last moments before the bond broke I was flooded with darkness. I can still feel it sometimes, lingering in me. And I can still recall Ivan's thoughts and memories. I can find myself lost in them when I least expect it."

Rose swallowed. It was difficult to be angry with him for leaving when he was still going through so much because of Ivan's death. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I can handle it." He spoke a bit too fast, a bit too dismissively.

Rose stopped, giving him a sharp look. "Sure, you sound totally fine." Her words held a bite.

He muttered something in Russian, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. It's not easy for me to talk about Ivan or losing the bond."

"You and Tasha never talk about it?" she asked with gentle curiosity.

"We've avoided the topic as much as possible, even while searching for this man Oksana and Mark told me about."

Rose nodded. "I get it."

"Do you want to talk somewhere private?" He looked around. The paths were mostly empty, but some people were nearby. "That way we can talk about all of this without being overheard."

"Sure," she agreed.

Dimitri moved toward a path that led to one of the court hotels. Rose walked beside him.

"How have you been doing at school?"

"Fine," Rose replied. "Eddie and I have Mikhail as our mentor, which is pretty cool. Mason is back."

"Really?"

"Yep. He's going to graduate with me, but he's already a trainee instructor. He's going to work with the kids. He can teach running, breathing, awareness — the basics, you know?"

"Yes, I understand."

"I've been trying to teach him how to write left handed. It's terrible, but we're both improving. And Mikhail is teaching him how to fight left handed. Mason's still depressed, sometimes, but he's come a long way."

"I'm glad." He paused a moment, then an amused smile spread across his face. "You're learning to write left handed, as well?"

She laughed. "Yes. I wanted him to feel normal. We used to try writing left handed when we were kids."

"You're a good friend to him." Dimitri's statement came out almost as a question.

Rose tilted her head toward him, tossing her hair over one shoulder. "Jealous?"

"Yes."

His gruff admission sent a thrill of pleasure through her body. Her lips parted slightly as he held her gaze. She licked her lips and gave him a devilish grin.

"How much have you missed me?" Her voice had a sultry edge. She felt herself grow hot as his eyes held hers.

He bent his head to her, lips almost touching her ear. "I can show you."

It took every ounce of Rose's willpower not to jump on him and kiss him. Did they have to keep their relationship a secret now? Did they even have a relationship? Did it matter?

All her mind could think of was his lips on hers. His fingers caressing her. Their skin touching. Moving as one flesh, one heart, one soul.

"I hope that's a promise," she whispered.

"Yes." He whispered against her ear, causing a shiver to run through her whole body.

She had never wanted him more than she did in that moment. "Where were you thinking of us talking privately?"

He looked down at her with naked desire in his eyes. "My room."

She couldn't stop herself — she kissed him. He only hesitated for a moment before he responded, opening his mouth to hers. She moaned softly as they kissed. Her arms wrapped around his chest. He pulled her close, one arm around her waist and the other on her shoulders. She pressed against him, feeling the hard muscles of his body firm against her.

They pulled apart slowly, reluctantly. Their hearts were racing fast enough to burst.

"We should hurry then," she said.

He wrapped an arm around her waist as they walked. His fingers traced lazy circles against her hip. She tried very hard not to jump on him and kiss him again — it took a lot of effort.

"You don't care that we're in public?" she asked.

"No, I don't."

"Really?"

He chuckled. "I'm not your mentor, and you're an adult in this country now. I don't care what anyone thinks about us, except maybe the Dragomirs. They are protective of you."

Rose sighed. "They don't have any idea about us." She hesitated, looking up at him. "Is there an us?"

"If you'll take me back, yes." Rose smiled, but Dimitri kept talking before she could reply. "But, we won't be together all the time. I'm Tasha's guardian. You're still in school for a month, and afterward you'll be Lissa's guardian. They'll have their own lives and schedules."

Rose closed her eyes, drawing in a deep breath. "As long as you still talk to me, we can make it work."

His fingers tightened on her hip, drawing her closer. "I promise; we will."

"So, are we together again?"

"Yes," he said softly. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

Her chest ached with joy. He was hers again. He was hers, and he loved her. She smiled, looking up at him. They kissed, soft and quick, as they walked. The walk to the guest rooms was long. They walked it arm in arm or hand in hand the whole way.

Along the way, Rose told Dimitri about life at the academy since his departure. She told him about training Moroi in self-defense and elemental combat. She told him about Lissa, Adrian, and Sonya training in spirit. Dimitri told Rose everything he knew about spirit restoration and Robert Doru — which wasn't much.

When Dimitri let Rose into his guest room she looked around in amazement. It was a rather large suite on the second floor of the hotel. It had a large sitting area, dining area, bathroom, and bed.

"This is incredible," she said.

"Tasha insisted that I have my own suite instead of staying in the general guardian dorm."

Rose sat on the bed. "There's a general guardian dorm?"

"I thought you said that you've been shown around court?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "By David and Katrina, both of whom live across the hall from me in the Dragomir's mansion. I guess it makes sense, though. Guardians need their own housing, no matter what, if their Moroi come here."

"Yes, and that's what the dorms are for. There are apartments, too, and some guardians do stay in the hotel."

"Good to know," she said.

He walked to her, moving closer until he was standing between her legs. Her eyes held his as her pulse quickened. He touched her cheek, thumb brushing against her lips. She shivered as his fingers brushed lightly down her neck to her collarbone.

She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer. She touched his chest, fingers traveling the length of his well-muscled body. She moved her fingers to the hem of his shirt and pushed it up so that her fingers could brush against his skin.

He whispered something as she touched him, too quiet for her to hear.

She looked up at him, curious and aching with longing. "Hmm?"

"I love you," he said. His husky tone thrilled her. "And I forgot how much I love your touch."

A sultry smile spread across her lips. "I love you too. Now, why don't you show me how much you missed me?"

Saying something in Russian, he pounced on her. She gasped, then moaned as he kissed her. She hooked her legs around his waist as she pushed up his shirt. He assisted her with the shirt removal, then continued trailing kisses along her lips and throat and collar bone.

He pressed her to the bed when their lips met again. He grasped her hands, pinning them to the bed above her head. Her long, dark hair spread out above her.

She wriggled beneath him, hips bucking upward for friction and connection. She wanted him. She needed him.

When she thought that she would go crazy from desire, he shifted back. Her legs stayed loosely wrapped around him as he removed the rest of his clothes.

His eyes traced over her body as she lay before him. His hands caressed the smooth skin of her thighs, pushing the skirt of her dress up to her waist. His movements were tantalizingly slow and teasingly light. She made breathy gasps at his touches, her hips moving of their own accord as she dug her fingers into the bedspread.

Her eyes travelled from his eyes to his nose to his lips. Her eyes followed the lines of his jaw down to the firm lines of his body. He was lean muscle — very well-defined lean muscle. Her eyes continued their downward journey. The plain of his abdomen led to the thing she wanted most right then, and her body was alight with fire at the thought of being joined to him again.

His fingers smoothly traced lines along her skin. She twitched and moved with every caress. His movements were tortuously slow. She moaned in frustration at his deliberate slowness.

His fingers brushed the apex of her thighs. She gasped, bucking her hips at his touch. His fingers slid beneath the thin cloth covering her to glide along her sex. She trembled and cried out at the sensation. She wanted more — needed more.

Her eyes met his again, burning with lust. "I need you." Her hips bucked upward to emphasize the point.

His body trembled at her words — at her raw desire for him. His fingers stopped their teasing. She whimpered at the loss of contact but assisted him as he pulled at her underwear.

Still wearing the dress — and nothing else — Rose again wrapped her legs around Dimitri's hips. He drew near to her, guiding himself into her slowly, determinedly. She moaned as he entered her, crying out with ecstasy.

They clasped hands as he thrust into her. Her body arched to meet him, moving in time with his rhythm. They moved together, hearts racing and breath coming in panting gasps.

They removed her dress when they changed positions. Bodies needing to touch – skin to skin. They came undone together. Two tangled into one.

Satiated, they rested on the bed together. Dimitri's fingers traced lazy lines along Rose's back and hips as she lay on her stomach beside him. She sighed in contentment at his touch.

"When do you leave?" she asked.

"After a meeting tomorrow. Tasha and I came here partly to catch up with people and partly to meet someone in hopes that he can lead us to more information about Robert."

"Oh? Who?" She turned her head to look at him then shifted lazily onto her side.

He sighed, brushing strands of her hair over her shoulder. "His name is Ibrahim Mazur. He's called Abe, though in Russia we also call him Zmey."

"Zmey?"

"Snake."

"Well, that doesn't sound like a compliment," she laughed.

"It's not. Abe Mazur is a very powerful man. He has connections everywhere and can get anything for a price."

"What price?"

"It varies," he said with a shrug. "I've never done business with him before. But he's been known to extort information from people. He is one of the biggest players in the Moroi black market and … mafia."

She sat up. His eyes followed the movement of her body — distracted from the conversation for a moment. "There's a Moroi mafia?"

His lips twitched. "Yes."

"The more I talk to people here, the more I feel like I've learned nothing about our world. Tell me about it."

His fingers brushed her cheek before kissing her softly. "I will."

She groaned softly. Her fingers traced his face, tucking strands of hair behind his ear. "You're so distracting."

He chuckled as they kissed again.

Discussion ceased while they lost themselves in one another again. When they were finished, they decided that they should go get lunch. They showered together to clean up. It was a quick process, made awkward by the small space. They laughed, tried to keep their hair dry, and loved every moment of it.

When they were finally redressed and ready to leave, they debated where to eat.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I don't know. Oh, and I have no money on me. I always charge back to the Dragomirs when I'm here."

"I can pay," he told her. Sadness darkened his face. "Ivan left a considerable amount of money to me in his will. So, I have that on top of my salary. Money is not a problem."

She squeezed his arm. "Ivan was a very good man. We'll all work together to find Robert. I'll tell Lissa, Sonya, and Adrian about it. They might be able to figure something out too. The ghosts can lead us to Ivan when the time comes."

Dimitri closed his eyes, breathing deeply. "I know."

She forced a small smile. "What about tacos?"

He laughed. "Tacos are fine."

Making sure that they had everything, they left the room. At the end of the hall, a Moroi man was walking from the elevator. He wore a tailored white suit. It was expensive, probably silk. His dress shirt and tie were bright orange. He also wore gold jewelry. His dark eyes studied them briefly.

"Guardian Belikov," the man said. Rose and Dimitri stopped to look at him. "I didn't know you'd be in the same lodgings as me."

"Hello, Mister Mazur," Dimitri greeted, voice very neutral. "Lady Ozera decided that this would be more convenient for both of us. We'll meet tomorrow, as planned?"

Abe Mazur smiled broadly, showing his fangs. The lights of the hall glinted off his gold earrings and necklaces. "Of course." His eyes studied Rose and the way Dimitri's hand rested on her waist. "Your companion is lovely … and rather young for you."

"I'm eighteen," Rose snapped, "and none of your business."

A strange expression crossed Abe's face as his smile faded. "Knowledge is my business, Miss Hathaway. I know a lot about you." He grinned at her stunned expression. "I'll see you tomorrow, Guardian Belikov. It was nice to see you, Miss Hathaway."

They stared after Abe as he continued down the hall past them.

"How do you know my name?" Rose called after him.

Abe Mazur's laughter echoed down the hallway. He turned slightly, looking at her. "Everyone knows your name. You're famous." He laughed again as he turned away and walked to his own room.

"Come on," Dimitri said, tugging on her arm. "Ignore him."

With one last glance toward the strange man named Abe Mazur, Rose turned and walked with Dimitri to the elevator. They ate lunch at a small restaurant which served Mexican-inspired food. Even as they ate, the encounter still bothered Rose.

"Am I famous?"

Dimitri gave her a small smile. "How many people have you met at court who instantly know your name?"

She hesitated. "A lot. Everyone seems to know my name, but he knew my face. Isn't that weird to you?"

Dimitri shrugged. "I told you before that he knows a lot of things. He may have a way into files that have your picture. He knew me without introduction."

"I guess." Rose frowned, unsettled.

"You don't need to worry about him."

"I'm not worried. I just think it's weird. I don't like it."

"I understand."

They finished their meal and walked outside, wandering the paths around court as they talked.

"Do you want to do anything else today?" Dimitri asked.

"I don't have to go home to pack until five. We leave at six thirty in the morning," she said, as she was thinking. "While we could spend the rest of today in your room, I also want to be social. We could go hang out with the other guardians for a while. I have an open invitation to a bunch of their homes."

"You've been busy," he said with a laugh. "We could do that. It would be nice to catch up with some of my friends at court and meet your friends."

With that agreement they walked to Guardian Werner's home, where Rose had gone for her first guardian party. They were greeted by a few guardians who were acquainted with Dimitri or Rose or both of them. They settled in the living room with some acquaintances watching a movie. Rose snuggled close to Dimitri, earning a few glances but nothing more from the group.

During the movie, Jessica Chapman, Damien Mancuso, and Medha Thomas took seats near Rose. They also looked curiously at Rose and Dimitri but minded their own business until the movie was over.

"When did you get a boyfriend?" Jess asked. She eyed Rose and Dimitri's posture suspiciously.

Rose's cheeks grew warm. "Um, long story."

Medha was also looking at Rose and Dimitri, though her expression was less nosy than Jess. "You're Dimitri Belikov, aren't you?"

"Yes," Dimitri confirmed. "Have we met?"

Medha smiled, shifting up to sitting from where she lounged nearby on the floor. "In passing a couple months ago. I'm Medha Thomas. We've been getting to know Rose for a few weeks now. She's mentioned that you were her mentor."

Jess's eyes went wide, then she shrugged. "Oh, wow. Well, you're not the first to date your mentor. I slept with two of mine."

Everyone stared at Jess in shock.

Jess ran her hands through her short platinum blonde hair. "The one was two years older than me. He was temporarily at my academy after his graduation. He didn't get in any trouble. The other one was like five years older than me when I was eighteen. No one knew, and it's fine. At least no one cares about our relationships post-graduation – not that most of us have anything long-term."

Rose blinked a couple times. "Well, Dimitri and I are hoping to make things work long-term."

Dimitri squeezed her hand. "It takes work to make something last, but it's worth the effort."

"I've told my girlfriend that too," Damien agreed. "Though we keep things rather quiet."

"Oh? Why's that?" Rose asked.

Damien smiled slightly. "She's a Moroi who works here at court."

"Got it," Rose said.

Medha rolled her eyes. "Anyway, to change the subject, did you know that there's a bit of a competition to be your guarding partner?"

"Really?" Rose asked.

Medha nodded. "Yeah. They're keeping a lot of us around court until the next batch of young royals graduate. Since Vasilisa Dragomir is graduating, everyone is hoping to get assigned to her. It's a foregone conclusion that you're one of hers, and it has been confirmed that she'll get two, which means you'll probably get paired with one of the unmatched guardians you hang out with here."

"There's more than just us," Jess added. "But everyone wants that assignment. Working for the Dragomirs is pretty much the ideal position for any guardian."

"Are they really that different?" Rose asked.

"Yeah," Damien said. "They have a great reputation among the guardians. There are a few royals out there with horrible reputations. You ever hear why Volkov got reassigned?"

"No," Rose replied. Dimitri gently squeezed her hand but said nothing.

Damien's expression grew stormy. "The Moroi Ilya was guarding slept with Nastya - Ilya's sister. He treated her like a blood whore and got her pregnant. Ilya didn't know. This was all behind his back. So, when Ilya found out, he snapped. He broke his Moroi's nose and threatened the man's life. Ilya did six months in a Moroi prison, and the royal got nothing."

"There are some guys out there who try to seduce the female guardians too," Medha said with a shudder. "Not that there aren't decent Moroi. There are, but there are also some really bad ones."

"And we get screwed over if we get a bad one?" Rose asked sourly.

"The privileges of being a dhampir," Jess said, voice dripping with cheery sarcasm. "Medha's right though, there are some great Moroi. My last one was really nice, she just needed to reduce her guard when she got married to someone with two guardians as well."

Rose nodded thoughtfully. "I was told that Lissa will get two because she will likely live outside of Court some of the time. Also, even if she and Andre stay here most of the time, their family's so small that the royals are worried about the Dragomir line dying out." A grin spread across her face as she looked at the other young guardians. "It might be fun to be paired with one of you."

Dimitri brushed his fingers idly along Rose's arm. "There's no guarantee that you'd be paired with one of your friends. New guardians are always matched with someone who has a few years of field experience."

"Which they all do," Rose countered, motioning to Medha, Jess, and Damien. "They're only a bit younger than you."

"And we're all good fighters," Medha said. "Maybe we should spar against you to see how tough you are?" She was grinning, her tone light and teasing.

"I'd like that," Rose replied. "Maybe next weekend. I want to spar with the other Dragomir guardians, but they're always busy. I've sparred with Dave a few times though. He's decent."

"You ever spar with Kat?" Jess asked.

"No," Rose said. "I've never thought to ask."

"We can change that," Katrina said from the entryway. She was carrying Violet in a cloth wrapped around her torso. She smiled at Rose. "I'd love to face you sometime. We'll just have to make sure we have a crowd to show off for."

Rose hopped up from the couch. "We can plan that." She brushed her fingers across Violet's cheek. "You brought her."

"Well, Lissa and Jill are out with their boyfriends; and Andre and his parents are at a social function. I really needed to be social, so why not bring her?"

Rose nodded, smiling at the baby. She had grown very fond of the children, the more she spent with them.

Kat laughed. "Do you want to hold her?"

"Yes," Rose said. "Oh, have you met Dimitri?" She motioned to where Dimitri was still seated on the sofa.

Katrina glanced toward him as she slipped Violet out of the wrap. She nodded, passing her baby to Rose. "Yes, we've done rotations here together a couple times."

Dimitri hid his surprise well. "We have, though I didn't realize your connection to the Dragomirs until now."

"Well, at least some tales haven't reached everywhere yet." Katrina gave him a wry smile. "Small blessings, I suppose."

"Isn't she adorable," Rose cooed, walking to Dimitri.

Dimitri smiled at Violet and Rose. He laid a finger in the baby's hand. Violet grasped his finger, staring at him with light green eyes. Dimitri held Rose's gaze for a moment, and her cheeks flushed pink. The silent exchange of looks between Rose and Dimitri wasn't missed by anyone, though no one said anything about it.

"They're starting a fire in the firepit out back," someone said.

They all decided to go outside to sit beside the fire. Katrina sat on a bench next to Rose and Dimitri so that she could retrieve Violet whenever Rose tired of holding the baby. It took a while for Rose to pass Violet back, and others in the group were quick to ask to hold the almost eight-month old baby.

People roasted marshmallows in the fire and told stories. Eventually, someone decided to sing. Others sang along when they knew the song.

Rose ended up sitting on Dimitri's lap. Her head rested on his chest as they listened to the others or sang along. She loved the sound of his voice beside her ear and the feel of his chest reverberating with sound.

Near the end of their time, the guardians sang a song Rose hadn't heard since she was a child. It was a guardian song, she realized. She had never paid much attention to the lyrics before. Various people sang verses, some in languages that weren't English. Everyone rejoined on the chorus, even Rose.

I will be your shield

I will be your shield

Your sworn defender, I

I'll go before you in the night

For you I will fight

I will be your shield

Rose listened to the verses she could understand with more clarity than she had when she learned the song as a child. Every verse was the story of a guardian who went out to fight the Strigoi in different situations. There were improvised verses and ancient verses. There were verses that spoke of bonds between Moroi and their guardians. There were verses that spoke of fighting beside Moroi in battle long ago.

Rose was in awe of the connection she felt to these people — her people. She would be a guardian in a month, and she would fight beside them. This song, sung for centuries in various languages, was a symbol of their unity. She pressed close to Dimitri, his arms around her waist as they sang. It was a perfect moment.

Dimitri walked back with Rose to the Dragomir residence. They held hands as they walked. Katrina had left the gathering before them to put Violet to bed. They were at peace – content, though Rose felt the weight of goodbye the closer they drew to the house.

"When are you going to see me again?" she asked.

"I don't know. I can promise to call every day, but the earliest I can promise is graduation. Tasha wouldn't miss Christian's graduation for anything, and I don't want to miss yours."

"What if you find Robert?"

"If we find Robert, we will change our schedules as needed. We won't miss graduation."

She looked up at him, trying to smile. "Okay."

He cupped her face in his hands, gazing lovingly into her eyes before bending to brush his lips against hers. It was a slow and gentle kiss, full of love and affection.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," she said.

They kissed goodbye again at the door to the Dragomir residence. Rose needed to pack up her room before returning to school. Dimitri needed to prepare to meet Abe Mazur the next day and maybe learn something about Robert Doru.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thanks for reading! See you again soon!_


	30. Price

Lissa sat beside Rose on their flight back to school. They were both tired, so reading Rose's expression was difficult. They were a few seats away from everyone else, so they could talk without being overheard.

"So, how was it?" Lissa asked.

A sleepy, dreamy smile spread across Rose's lips. "We're together again."

A delighted squeak escaped Lissa. "Good, I'm glad."

Rose sighed sadly, though she was happy. "It sucks to be separated from him though."

"Do you know when you'll see him again?"

"Graduation — maybe earlier if everyone's schedules work."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. He promised to talk to me every day, and we'll make it work."

"And you're together again," Lissa said with a smile.

Rose matched the smile with one of her own. "We are. How was Tasha?"

"She's okay. I'm not sure what all she talked to my parents about, but she said that meeting went well. Christian and I had a nice dinner with her. She told us that we should make a list of colleges and universities in the general region near court to visit over the summer, since neither of us bothered to look into college yet. Then we can spend the year travelling and have our university plans set for the next year."

"I like that idea." Rose chewed on her lower lip, thinking about Dimitri. Would she be separated from him if she travelled with Lissa? And what about Ivan? "Liss?"

"Hmm? What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, not exactly." Rose drew a deep breath before looking Lissa in the eyes. Her voice was hushed when she spoke again. "Dimitri heard a story that a spirit user claimed to have restored a Strigoi. Oksana told him. Dimitri is looking for the spirit user who claims to have done it, but he hasn't had any luck."

Lissa's jade green eyes went wide with shock. "I … that sounds so impossible."

"I know," Rose agreed sadly, "but it's worth looking into."

Lissa glanced toward the front of the plane where Christian sat. She knew that he would love to have his uncle back. But restoring Ivan, even if it was possible, could have any number of repercussions. Would Ivan still be Ivan? Would he remember everything he had done as a Strigoi? Would he want to live with that knowledge?

Rose clasped Lissa's hand with hers and squeezed. She was reading Lissa's thoughts as they appeared. "I don't know. But I do know that nothing he has done as a Strigoi is his fault. Ivan was one of the kindest people I've ever met. What he is now is not him, not really. If restoration is possible, he would become himself again."

Lissa returned the squeeze. "I know, but I wonder if it's truly compassionate to restore someone after they have been a monster. It's been more than two months. Ivan—" Lissa shook her head as tears spilled over her cheeks. "Ivan was a wonderful man. He taught us so much about spirit. He restored Sonya. He was a friend, and he was Christian's family. If this is even possible, we would restore Ivan to himself in body, but what would he be in mind and heart?"

"So, you would rather he died permanently?"

Lissa gave an exasperated sigh. "No. I want to do research with Sonya and Adrian into this. It's probably a form of healing. I just don't know what it would take or even how to do it — if this is even possible. I just worry about the consequences. If they can be restored, being a monster has to leave a mark on a person's soul."

Lissa tried thinking about what it would be like to wake up from that living nightmare and shuddered. Rose did too as she read Lissa's thoughts. They held hands, thinking about this information, thinking about what it would be like to wake up from being a monster.

Lissa's conclusion was that she would want to be restored to her family if she was turned and they were still fine. She thought that she would hate what she had done as a Strigoi, but then use her healing on others to balance it out. Unless it took a long time, in which case she would rather die instead.

Rose laughed softly. "I've never thought about all those details."

Lissa shrugged. "Someone had to. What if it was you?"

Rose looked out the window of the plane, squeezing Lissa's hand. "I don't know. I think … I think there can be good in everything, even the bad things. I'd rather die than be turned, but if I was turned, I think I'd want to come back. The guardians could use inside knowledge like that."

"True," Lissa agreed. She changed the subject, wanting to talk about anything else. "So, what else did you do?"

"Hung out with the guardians again."

"You've been doing that a lot lately."

"Yeah," Rose agreed. "It makes me feel a bit more settled with leaving school. I think we – you and me – need to spend more time together. Between parties and dates and training and you going off to royal functions, we're not together much."

"No, we're not." Lissa rested her head against Rose's shoulder. "Want to spend tonight after class watching tv with just the two of us?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

A few minutes later, Lissa heard Rose sigh. "What's on your mind?"

Rose hesitated before answering. "It's complicated."

"Oh?"

"Kat came to hang out with the guardians. She brought Violet. I was holding her, and Dimitri was standing with us. It felt … nice." Rose closed her eyes, swallowing hard. "I never thought about having a kid of my own until spending so much time with Kevin and Violet. I'm still too young for one, but someday …" She let out a heavy sigh. "But I can't have children with Dimitri."

Lissa squeezed Rose's hand. "There are other ways. You could have a donor. It would be your child biologically and his through adoption."

"I know, but I think he'd like one too. Not that it matters right now."

Lissa's reply was soft and compassionate. "No, not right now."

* * *

Lissa, Adrian, and Sonya sat together in Sonya's apartment. Lissa relayed to them what Rose had told her about spirit restoration. Sonya processed the information quietly, pondering over it. Adrian made a sound of disbelief.

"It sounds like a fairy tale," Adrian scoffed.

"I know," Lissa agreed, "but we thought that bonds were a legend too. We don't know everything that spirit can do. We've found a lot of strange things in the records. Oksana can read minds. You two can walk in dreams. We can heal serious injuries. We can heal spirit darkness. Why can't we heal Strigoi?"

Adrian shook his head slowly, more out of disbelief than disagreement. "Maybe. It just seems so impossible."

Sonya spoke up, looking at her hands. She wore an engagement ring now. She had for a couple weeks, though she and Mikhail hadn't made a big deal about it. "Ivan healed me from insanity. I was so lost in the darkness that it took Ivan an incredible amount of spirit to bring me back. If this is possible — and I don't even know how we could do it — the drain on our energy would probably be enormous."

"You or I could probably manage a very difficult healing," Lissa said to Sonya.

Adrian spoke up, skepticism lacing his words. "You're talking about this like you're sure healing is definitely what this possibly insane spirit user claimed to have done once upon a time. We don't know if it happened or how."

"Healing makes the most sense," Lissa countered.

"But is there really something to heal?" Adrian asked. "A Strigoi is a monster. They're soulless. They're nothing like the person they once were."

"That's not entirely true," Lissa said quietly. She looked between Adrian and Sonya. Drawing a deep breath, she continued. "Christian and Tasha told me about Christian's parents. They came for Christian. They tried to convince Tasha to come with them, too. Christian doesn't remember much. He was only nine. Tasha, though – she was eighteen – she remembers it all. They both said that Lucas and Moira weren't that different from what they were as Moroi. They were colder and crueler, but they were also the same in some ways."

"Except for trying to murder them?" Adrian asked dryly.

Lissa narrowed her eyes at him. "My point was that the person who was turned still retains some of their self. Some part of the essence of who they were remains. There's a reason why we turn when killing while drinking the blood of another person. The Moroi who turns that way isn't killed, they're changed. They become soulless. If the soul can be removed so easily, why can't the soul be restored?"

"It's worth puzzling through the possibilities," Sonya said thoughtfully. "I'll email Oksana about it. She may have more information or ideas."

They moved on to other topics. The spirit users were still looking for other spirit users. They were still trying to find out more about their element. They wanted to know how to control their power and to know just how far it could go.

* * *

Abe Mazur pressed his fingertips together as he thought. He was seated in a booth, facing the door of the cafe where he had chosen to meet Tasha Ozera and Dimitri Belikov. He was getting his thoughts in order.

There was always lot on his mind. He had so many businesses and deals and people to track. He needed his mind clear and focused, but he was distracted.

Abe was distracted by having seen his daughter the day before. The last time he had seen Rose in person, she had been two days old. She had been so small, delicate, and fragile. He had held her for such a short time, kissed her once, and left her. He had known then, over eighteen years ago now, that he would do anything for her. He had forced himself to stay out of her life for her own safety.

He had seen pictures of her over the years. Janine had left them for him here and there, in ways they had of exchanging information in secret. He had never kept any, just in case an enemy found them. Nothing could link him to Rose, not even a picture.

Seeing Rose now, in person as an adult, had been startling. He had covered his reaction well. Oh, he had called her by her last name, but that was easy enough for anyone to know. It had been like a knife through his guts to see her. To feel the price of leaving his only child.

She was beautiful. The pictures hadn't done justice to how striking she was. Rose had a remarkable blend of Abe and Janine's features. Rose's hair curled more loosely than her mother's and the color was her father's. Her eye shape was Janine's, and the color was Abe's.

It had been a shock to see Rose as an adult. Not just an adult, but one very obviously in love. And she had been leaving a hotel room with the man she loved.

Perhaps it was a bit hypocritical of Abe to feel overprotective of his daughter. They had no relationship. She didn't even know that Abe was her father. And Abe had met and been with Janine when she was only a year older than their daughter was now. How could he, Abe, find fault with his daughter's choice of an older man when he was older than Janine by a decade himself.

Abe drew in a calming breath. He needed to focus. He needed to ignore the torrent of emotions seeing his daughter had brought about. He could speak to Janine later. Perhaps he could enter into their daughter's life safely now that she was grown and more than capable of protecting herself.

He was curious about this meeting today. He knew who Tasha Ozera was - everyone in Moroi society knew who she was. He found her to be interesting. Though he had never met her before, he knew that she had a lot of influence among the many social levels of their world. He even knew a bit about what she wanted to know. He also knew the price of his information, and what he wanted if more services were required.

Information for information, that was the primary business of Abe Mazur. It had earned him a great deal of money and a reputation which was feared and admired. Not bad for a man who had grown up with nothing but a quick mind and a lot of charisma.

Tasha arrived a short time later. Dimitri followed a step behind her. They walked to the counter first, ordering coffee or tea from the barista. Abe had his own hot tea at his seat. When they had their drinks, they slipped onto the bench opposite Abe. Tasha sat on the inside of the booth.

Abe smiled at them. "It's good to see you, Lady Ozera. And you again, Guardian Belikov."

"Again?" Tasha asked. She glanced at Dimitri.

"I ran into Mister Mazur yesterday in the hotel."

"Please, call me Abe," Abe insisted. He broadened his smile. "It was very interesting running into you and Miss Hathaway." There was danger in prodding Belikov about Rose, but Abe wanted to know more of his daughter's life and this man she was involved with.

Dimitri's eyes narrowed. "We found it interesting that you knew her name without introduction."

Abe heard the challenge in the other man's words. He could appreciate being protective of Rose. He might even approve of it in time, though that was yet to be determined. Perhaps Abe shouldn't have acknowledged Rose yesterday, but he had needed to hear her voice. At least he hadn't called her Rose.

Abe dropped his smile to a smirk, small and knowing. "I have my sources." He was amused with himself. Abe turned to Tasha, giving her a brilliant smile again. "Lady Ozera—"

"Tasha," she interrupted.

"Tasha," he amended with a nod of acknowledgement. "You asked me to research a name."

"Did you find anything?" Tasha asked. Her expression and tone were neutral.

Abe realized that Dimitri seemed more attentive to whatever Abe might say than Tasha. Abe filed that observation away for later. Abe pulled an envelope from the inner pocket of his suit jacket. He laid it on the table, keeping his fingers on it. "I didn't learn much. I knew the name when you spoke to my associate."

Tasha regarded him coolly, though her eyes flicked to the envelope more than once. "And you didn't think to tell me that?"

"It benefited me more to withhold that information until now." He smiled unapologetically. "The man you asked about, Robert Doru, he is an illegitimate half-royal. He was the younger half-brother of Victor Dashkov."

Dimitri and Tasha both drew in sharp breaths.

"I wasn't able to find that out through research," Dimitri said. "How do we know that your information is true?"

Abe shrugged. "What benefit is it for me to give false information? Information is my business. In exchange for the identity, there is no charge." He tapped the envelope once. "This, however, carries a price. This is a list of every property and residence known to have been owned or rented by Victor or Robert. I can do some financial digging as well, provided we can come to an agreement."

"What is your price?" Tasha asked.

Abe didn't reply right away. He knew what information he wanted in exchange, but it was never good to speak too quickly. It was never good to appear too eager.

"What do you know about the closed Council sessions?" Abe asked cautiously.

Tasha laughed long and heartily. "Absolutely nothing. I'd pay for that information. Eric Dragomir is finally working with me on a few progressive points and still tells me nothing. My own family acts as though I don't exist half the time." She tilted her head to the side, still very amused. "Anything else?"

Abe gave her a friendly smile. Inside, he sighed in frustration that he knew nothing about what was going on with the Council. They were debating something controversial, he knew that much. What it was had been kept so tightly under wraps that he knew nothing.

Abe did have a second plan. "What are you researching? You hired a translator and visited all the ancestral archives last month. What are you researching? That is my price."

Tasha nodded, reaching out to touch the envelope. Abe released it, and Tasha picked it up and tucked it into her purse.

"I want to know when and why combat magic was outlawed. That is what we are researching."

Abe steepled his fingers again. Now that was indeed a fascinating bit of information. He didn't even need to know why. He understood why. Tasha Ozera believed in offense being the best defense. She wanted Moroi fighting Strigoi to be legal and encouraged. Did Prince Dragomir share similar views now? It was something to ponder.

"What do you want to know in order to continue helping us?" Tasha asked.

Abe only had one more burning question which was relevant to the conversation at hand. "Why are you looking for Robert Doru? Answer that and I will continue working with you."

Tasha looked to Dimitri, which confirmed Abe's suspicion that Belikov was more interested in this than Tasha.

Dimitri drew a deep breath before speaking. "Have you heard about spirit?"

"Yes." Abe didn't know much, only some basic facts. He didn't want to let on how little he knew.

Dimitri nodded thoughtfully. "I was told that Robert is a spirit user who might be able to do something impossible. We want to talk to Robert and learn more."

Abe's eyes narrowed. "What exactly can he supposedly do?"

Dimitri answered very quietly so that no one could overhear. "Restore a Strigoi."

Abe couldn't control his response. He was too stunned by the notion. "What?"

"We know it sounds impossible," Tasha replied softly. "But it's worth trying." She swallowed hard, closing her eyes briefly. "We have to try."

And Abe understood everything. He knew why they were looking for Robert Doru. He knew why they wanted this to be true. He even understood Tasha's hesitation.

Abe nodded slowly. "We have a deal."

They shook hands a moment later before picking up their drinks and heading off in their own directions.

* * *

"I want this to be my territory," Ivan told Sofia.

It was June. They were in a mansion in South-Eastern Pennsylvania, over an hour south of the Moroi royal court. Sofia had long held sway over several humans in the area. She had recently decided that one of the men had outgrown his usefulness. Ivan and Sofia had signed all of his assets over to Ivan before killing the man.

"Your territory?"

"I will still send you tribute, but I want to exert my own influence. You have taught me enough that I can begin ensuring your power in this region."

Sofia considered him for a few minutes. She ran her fingers along the large desk which stood at the center of the mansion's library. "Do you know why I own this property?"

"No."

A cruel smile emerged on her lips. "The remains of a mansion are on this property. I lived in that mansion. I burned it to the ground. I killed my father, mother, and sisters. Your ancestor, my uncle, and his family lived here as well, but they were not home that evening. To think, you would not exist if they had been here. This property was eventually purchased by humans. I decided to enthrall the owners over the decades. This is my home."

"Our home, cousin," he said casually.

"Fine, use this as your seat of power. I will check in on you from time to time."

"I would expect nothing less from you."

She was still studying him, red-ringed blue eyes narrowed in thought. For the first time in months, Ivan thought of Tasha Ozera. Sofia bore a faint resemblance to Tasha now that her hair was dyed black. Although hair did not grow for Strigoi, it showed a remarkable resilience to hair dye.

"Are you planning something?" she asked.

He was planning many things, the foremost of which was distancing himself from her. Sofia had shown Ivan countless things, all of which were useful. However, she scared him. He never knew if she would turn on him one day, even though she had shown no signs that she would. The deaths of Greg and Dahlia troubled him. They were a constant reminder that he could be replaced if she willed it.

"Not yet. I simply think that space between us is a good thing. You have given me many invaluable lessons. I want to put them into practice. And you have Tessa to assist you now."

Tessa turned out to be utterly brilliant. She had been a graduate student in Seattle. Majoring in chemical engineering, she had been at the top of her class. She also had interests in physics, theoretical mathematics, and a few other technical fields that Ivan couldn't comprehend. Greg had taken her from a bar near her university. She had adjusted quickly to her new life, eager to use her immortality to her benefit. Sofia enjoyed that Tessa was intelligent, which meant that the former human would likely stay around for a long time.

Sofia would likely have been disappointed with a lesser mind. She had used and Awakened Greg due to his construction skills. Dahlia had been more useful as a human, supplying Sofia with children. Ivan was useful for accounting and business tasks. Tessa was proving useful in expanding Sofia's businesses far further than any of her predecessors.

They had hunted Moroi as a trio. There was a dhampir community in Canada which was only a few hours northeast of their cabin in Montana. It was Ivan's first time hunting Moroi since being Awakened.

They had waited in the shadows near the community, waiting for people to leave the wards. They had taken out three Moroi and two guardians. Fighting a guardian had been a challenge for Ivan, but Sofia had trained him in hand to hand combat. Tessa had taken martial arts as a human, so she had been able to handle herself well in the fight. They had overpowered the guardians quickly and feasted on them. They had also killed one of the Moroi outright and had kept the other two for later.

Ivan now understood why his kind hunted the Moroi and dhampirs. There was magic coursing through the veins of his former race. It brought life and strength to a Strigoi. Drinking from them was like touching the essence of creation itself.

Ivan stood, walking to a large map of Pennsylvania and the neighboring states which hung on one wall. He tapped the location of Court with his index finger. He had lived there as a child, before his parents had moved them to Russia for their business. He thought of all the Moroi and dhampirs in that place and wanted them.

"How much planning do you think would have to go into an attack on Court?"

Sofia burst into laughter. "Far too much. The attack on the school was an arduous task. Court would be a thousand times more challenging. You know how tentative alliances with our kind are. Too many predators trying to capture the same prey is folly."

He considered her words, knowing she was right. "Perhaps it is for now, but with enough time and effort, anything is possible."

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thanks for reading! See you again soon!_

 _(Chapter 30! O_O)_


	31. Celebrating

Rose was having breakfast with her mother at Court. It was the weekend before graduation, making it Rose's last real weekend of freedom. It felt strange, knowing that she would soon leave St. Vladimir's. She would be on duty almost all the time soon, which was a stranger thought still.

Rose and Janine had been talking regularly since the end of December. It had been awkward at first, getting to know one another, but things had gradually improved. Now they could talk regularly about their lives, and while they didn't understand one another completely, they did love and care about each other.

Rose had recently learned about her mother's relatives. There was at least one male cousin a few years younger than Rose at an academy and one a few years older who was a guardian. Janine was the only woman in the family who was a guardian. Janine didn't have much to say about the rest of their relatives, and what she did say about several of the women wasn't very nice. Rose accepted it. She was content with her friends and the family of sorts they made.

Afterward, Janine brought up a related topic. "I spoke with your father recently."

"Oh?" Rose looked up, curious. In all their conversations, Janine had not said much about Rose's father. It was a curious blank space in Rose's life.

Janine fidgeted in her seat. "He would like to meet you. He asked about meeting you right before or shortly after graduation, if you want."

"Um, wow. Why now? And who is he?"

Janine shrugged. "He said that you're old enough to know who he is. He thinks that you can handle any trouble connected to being his daughter, though it should still be kept relatively private. Ibrahim is a businessman. He is sometimes involved in matters that are dangerous, which means that he needs to keep his personal life separate from his businesses."

"Ibrahim?" The name seemed foreign and familiar at the same time. Rose knew that she had heard it somewhere before.

"That's his first name, though everyone calls him Abe - Abe Mazur."

Rose coughed, choking on her drink. She was mortified. The man who had come out of the elevator as she and Dimitri walked down the hall in the Court hotel. The man who had known her name and commented on her relationship. That man was her father.

"Rose are you okay?"

Rose's coughing slowly subsided. "I met him," she rasped out.

"What? When did you meet him?"

"The other week. I ran into him while walking around Court with Dimitri." It was close enough to the truth. "He called me Miss Hathaway and commented on my relationship."

Janine's eyebrows rose very high. "Well, I certainly understand his interest."

"You said you didn't care if I'm with Dimitri. And it's none of my father's business."

"I am okay with your relationship. As for your father, I think he was just concerned. Either that or he was shocked to see you, let alone with a boyfriend. He only saw you in person one other time."

"When was that?"

Janine gave her a wistful smile. "You were only a few days old. I think your father would have stayed in your life under different circumstances."

"Dimitri said that people call Abe a snake."

"They do," Janine agreed with a wry smile. "But most people don't understand him. Your father is a good man. He simply has a … different way of viewing right and wrong."

Rose looked at her mother in shock. How had her normally rigid and by-the-rules mother ended up with a man who was basically a criminal, according to Dimitri? "Isn't what Abe does illegal?"

Janine's eyes sparkled with amusement. "I suppose it depends upon the jurisdiction."

"Who are you, and what did you do with my mother?" Rose said in amazement.

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Rose. One of those things is that I believe the just thing and the legal thing aren't necessarily the same. Abe believes in justice. I believe in justice. And I think you do, too."

"Yeah, but every time I break the rules, I'm in trouble. Now you tell me that my father breaks the rules all the time and you're okay with it." Rose rested her face in her hands.

"You're still growing and learning. You're supposed to abide by the rules. Rules are good."

"Yeah, yeah." Rose shook her head. "My brain hurts. Um, tell my father that he can come to graduation. I'll meet him beforehand."

Janine smiled faintly. "I'm sure he'll be glad that you let him."

"We'll see." Rose sipped her drink, willing herself not to think about how awkward meeting her father again would be. Another thought occurred to her. She looked up at her mother again. "Do the Dragomirs know who my father is? Or, um, do they know Abe Mazur?"

Janine's eyes went wide. "I'm certain that they know who Abe is, but not that he's your father."

Rose laughed. It seemed like graduation was going to be very interesting.

* * *

Classes ended early for seniors during the last week of school. Thursday would be the novice trials and graduation. Friday would be the Moroi graduation. Between Saturday and Sunday, all the novices would be flown to Court for guardian orientation. After several days at Court, most new guardians would be given assignments and be sent off with their Moroi. It was exciting and nerve-wracking for the seniors, novice and Moroi alike, to go off into the world.

Rose and Eddie walked from their last class together. It was too strange to think that they would never have classes again. It was strange to think that they would leave St. Vladimir's in a few days and maybe never return.

They walked to the elementary training area on the lower campus. Mason would be there, training the youngest dhampir students on balance beams and climbing ladders. Rose's eyes caught sight of Mason's red hair as she approached. A smile crept onto her face as she saw what he was doing.

Mason was working with the youngest dhampirs. The children were five and six years old; younger dhampir students weren't in training yet. Mason walked beside them as they walked along balance beams. The beam was only a few inches off the ground, but for some little ones it was a frightening experience. Mason encouraged each child as he walked with them, not touching them, just encouraging with his words and smile. He caught one or two who wobbled, preventing them from falling.

Mason looked up after the little boy he was watching jumped off the beam at the end. Mason gave the boy a high-five, with his left hand, and pointed the boy to the next station. Mason caught sight of Rose and Eddie, giving them a huge smile. They smiled back and watched the rest of the class from the sidelines.

Mason approached them after the class ended. The kids walked back to their dorms with the other guardians who were leading the class. He wore nothing on his handless arm, though he did own a few prostheses now. It was still strange to see, though Rose and Eddie had stopped reacting to their friend's lack of a hand long ago.

"You're all done now," Mason said. "And we'll graduate tomorrow."

"It's so weird," Rose said.

Mason shrugged, giving her a sad smile. "Life's weird."

She sighed. "Yeah, it is." She considered him thoughtfully. "Do you have keys to the side gates on you?"

Mason's eyebrows rose. "Yes." He jiggled his pocket; the metallic clink of keys came from it. "Why?"

"I want to go outside of the wards and wondered if you could let me out instead of me doing what I've been doing since they reinforced the walls."

"How have you been getting over the walls?" Eddie asked.

"She sneaks past the patrols and climbs over the one gate," Mason replied.

"How do you even know that?" Eddie asked.

Rose rolled her eyes. "I told him weeks ago." She looked at Mason, giving him a sweet smile. "Please, Mase."

Eddie looked at her. "Why do you want to get out of the wards?"

Her smile fell. "I want to talk to Meredith. She's always there, and I want her to know that we're graduating. Maybe I'll ask for Celeste and Brandon too. I haven't seen them in a while, but I know they were following Dimitri."

Eddie and Mason both shuddered.

"Your freaky shadow-kissed abilities are so creepy," Eddie said.

"I know," Rose agreed. She looked at Mason again. "One last adventure together? I mean, it's daylight out, so it's not even a big deal. Plus, I have a weird dinner tonight."

Mason shrugged. "Sure. What's the dinner?"

They started walking toward the boundaries of campus.

Rose touched her necklace pendants - nazar and heart. "Um, formal introduction to my dad. He and my mom are both coming in today. Plus, I think the Dragomirs are coming in today." She hesitated a beat before continuing. "Plus, my boyfriend is getting here today, too."

Mason didn't react to the last part, though his jaw had dropped when she mentioned her father coming.

Eddie had reacted similarly to the mention of her father and stopped dead in his tracks at the mention of a boyfriend. "When did you get a boyfriend?"

"She's had one since January," Mason replied mildly.

Rose kept walking, forcing Eddie to catch up. "Not since January, he broke up with me for two months."

Mason snorted. "You were pining for him the whole time, and he broke up with you to go be a hero. You really have something for the selfless do-good kind."

Rose playfully swatted at Mason's arm.

"Who is your boyfriend?" Eddie asked, utterly lost.

Rose drew a deep breath, glancing around. There was no one anywhere near them. "I'm dating Dimitri Belikov."

Eddie's eyes went wide. He looked at Mason after a few moments. "When did you find out?"

Mason gave a dry laugh. "I figured it out the first week of field experience. Spending that much time around them made it pretty obvious to me. We've also talked about it since."

Rose leaned into Mason, linking her arm through his. "You've been amazing, putting up with me."

Mason grabbed her hand, squeezing it. "You know I'd do anything for you."

She bit her lip. "Yeah, I know."

Rose then reached out toward Eddie with her free hand. Eddie accepted, linking his arm through hers.

"So, what's this about your dad?" Mason asked.

Rose sighed. "Long story. I'm not ready to talk about it. The basics are that he couldn't be in my life until now. He asked my mom if I would be willing to let him come to graduation. I agreed."

"That's crazy," said Eddie. "Are you okay?"

She shrugged, which wasn't easy while walking arm in arm between two people. "Yeah, it's just weird. Too many life changes and people meeting and introductions all at once."

"You can handle it," Mason encouraged.

"Yeah," she agreed quietly.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. Rose wondered if they would ever have time together as a trio again. They had been together since childhood, when they were as young as the children Mason had just helped on balance beams. Now they were adults, going off into the world.

Mason let them out of a gate. They walked several yards into the forest beyond the wards. Light filtered down to them through the evergreen trees. Rose released their arms, taking a step away from them. Drawing a deep breath, she lowered her mental walls.

The ghosts soon emerged in Rose's sight. She suppressed a shudder at the sight of them and the ache in her head. Meredith soon appeared. To Rose's surprise, Brandon and Celeste were there too. She willed the others away with quiet words.

Rose studied her deceased friends, reminded again of the ache of losing them. The grief felt fresh sometimes, like a wave rolling through her. And Dimitri was still planning for them to find Ivan one day, to restore or kill him. One more ache that still lingered.

Rose smiled faintly at them. "We graduate tomorrow." She looked at Meredith. "I wanted the four of us to spend a moment together, even though they can't see you."

The corner of Meredith's mouth quirked up slightly. She had developed a talent for expressing emotions in her face over the months since her death.

"Will you rest now? Now that we're done with school? Eddie and I will get assignments, and Mason's staying here to teach the kids."

Meredith shook her head.

"Why don't you rest?"

Meredith shrugged.

"I want you to find peace," Rose said. She looked at Celeste and Brandon. "I want that for you two as well."

They nodded.

Rose sighed. "It's not the right time?"

They nodded again.

"You know I'll keep trying. I'll find a way to bring you peace one day. I promise." They seemed more focused on her when she made her promise. She tried not to shudder. Talking to ghosts was unnerving, even when they were friends. "I'll let you go now. We shouldn't be out of the wards for long. I miss you all."

Rose watched them nod, then she closed her mental walls again.

"That's so weird," Eddie said. "You would seem crazy if I didn't know you were shadow-kissed."

"Being shadow-kissed makes me feel crazy sometimes. Come on, let's go back."

They walked together to the dorm, side by side. Rose left them in the lobby, heading up to her room to shower and change before seeing everyone else. She checked her phone as she went. Her mom and Dimitri were both on campus. She messaged them both, planning when and where to meet them. Her mom was planning for dinner in four hours, so she would meet with Dimitri after he checked in with the guardians.

Rose grabbed her stuff and went down the hall to the showers. When she returned to her room, she quickly dressed in a black tank top and jean shorts. The look was simple and casual. She didn't feel a need to impress anyone today. She had just finished braiding her wet hair and putting on sneakers when Dimitri texted her to meet at the guest apartments.

Rose felt like running to see him. Though they had talked daily since meeting up again in May, they hadn't seen one another since. She didn't run, though she did walk quickly.

Rose knocked on the door impatiently. Tasha opened it.

She smiled at Rose. "Come in. He said you were coming."

Rose walked inside, past Tasha. The guest apartment was a two-bedroom, but the layout reminded her too much of the one Dimitri had shared with Ivan and Brandon. Seeing Dimitri distracted Rose from her memories. He was standing in the living room, so she ran to him. She jumped up into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist as her arms wrapped around his neck.

He wobbled a bit, trying to keep his balance. Kissing her lightly, Dimitri squeezed Rose close before setting her down. She looked up at him with adoring eyes, so he kissed her again.

"Missed you," she said.

"I can tell," he laughed. "I missed you, too. Something is wrong though, what is it?"

She sighed, resting her head against his chest. She hugged him tightly before letting go and sitting on a couch. He sat beside her.

Rose looked at the ceiling before taking a deep breath. "I'm being formally introduced to my father today — when I have dinner with mom later." She looked at him, bouncing her foot anxiously.

"Are you worried?"

She gave a short laugh. "No. Um, I've met him. You have too. My father is Abe Mazur."

"What?"

The startled exclamation came from the nearby kitchenette. Rose turned to Tasha, who had walked around to look at them. She was holding a cup of something steaming, which she had spilled from in her shock.

"Rose," Dimitri began slowly, "you're sure?"

"You think I could make this up?" Rose replied shortly. "Mom told me last weekend."

"And you didn't tell me?"

Rose stood, turning to glare at Dimitri. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. Sorry for not telling you my business right away."

Dimitri's jaw dropped.

Tasha did her best to seem invisible, wishing to remain out of the conflict.

Rose drew in a deep breath, closing her eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just overwhelmed right now. I have my final trial tomorrow. I'm meeting my dad tonight, which is weird and stressful. Plus, graduating… It's a lot." Rose looked penitently at Dimitri. "Sorry."

Dimitri held a hand out to Rose. She walked a few steps closer, taking both of his hands in hers as she stood in front of him. Tasha slipped out of the apartment, leaving them alone.

"Why do we keep fighting when we meet up?" Rose asked quietly.

Dimitri squeezed her hands. "I wouldn't call it fighting. You're upset because you are stressed. It's forgiven." He pulled on her hands, and she took a seat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her. "Did we fight at Court?"

She shrugged. "Not really, but you did get testy for a moment."

"I don't even remember."

She sighed, resting her forehead against his. "I guess I'm overthinking. I don't remember what it was about, just that you were irritable for a bit when we talked."

"We talked the entire day."

"I know." She laughed softly, curling closer to him. "I don't want us to fight."

"We aren't, but sometimes we will fight. People argue with each other, even with people they love. As long as we are willing to apologize and forgive and not tear one another down, we can do this." He kissed her softly, holding her close. "We'll make things work."

She released a long, slow breath. She was calmer in his arms, her body releasing tension she didn't know was there. She didn't speak for a while, she just held him and breathed deeply.

"At least we know why Abe knew who I was," she said wryly.

He gave a short laugh. "Well, at least it wasn't some nefarious reason."

"Ne… what?"

"Evil, criminal," he replied.

"Ah, nope. He's just my dad, apparently. It's so awkward. He saw us leave your room." Rose pushed away a bit so that she could see Dimitri's face more clearly. "Was meeting with him the next day bad?"

Dimitri shook his head. "No, that was fine. At least I know why he was so interested in you and in our relationship."

"He's going to be here, and mom is here, and Lissa's parents, and you - and it's weird."

He kissed her. "Yes, it is. Are you anxious about the trials tomorrow?"

"Not the trials themselves. I've already fought and killed Strigoi, here. I doubt facing my teachers again is going to be that stressful. It's doing it in front of everyone that's weird. I'll have my parents and the Dragomirs watching me. I'm not used to that."

Dimitri caressed her cheek. "You'll be great."

"That's what everyone says."

"You don't believe it?"

She shrugged. "I know I'm good. I'm just not used to all the attention. Everyone keeps saying how I'm the best. What if I screw up?"

"I've never seen you freeze under pressure. It's just not you."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." She kissed him lightly, sighing as his presence relaxed her. "I want to relax in your arms until I meet up with my parents later."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

She laughed. "No, definitely not. I want to meet my dad without you being there this time. Everyone will meet up tomorrow for my graduation celebration anyway."

"Oh?"

She slid from his lap, curling next to him on the couch. "My parents and foster parents both chipped in to reserve a room here for a party for me. Lissa's getting one the next day, after her commencement ceremony."

"That should be interesting." He ran an idle hand along her arm. "Do the Dragomirs know that he's your father?"

"Not yet."

He chuckled. "Very interesting."

"Now do you see why I'm so stressed?"

"Yes, but everything will be fine."

She sighed. "Yeah."

They sat together, talking, until it was time for Rose to meet her parents in a lounge elsewhere in the same building. Rose left with a kiss, promising to let Dimitri know how the meeting went. She walked down a hall, then up a flight of stairs. Rose wiped her sweaty palms on her shorts as she reached the door.

Rose's mom was inside the small lounge. Pizza sat on a table, the smell of it filling the room. Rose's stomach growled hungrily at the scent. She though that she could eat despite her nerves.

"No father yet?" Rose asked, taking a slice of pizza and a seat.

"No, but he's on his way."

"How is it taking him so long?"

Janine laughed. "You just got here."

"I was downstairs for the past three hours."

Janine arched an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Ugh." Rose rolled her eyes. "We were just talking. This weekend is going to be so awkward."

Janine smiled. "I suspect that is true."

Rose ate her pizza quietly, waiting for her father to arrive. She was starting her second slice when Abe Mazur entered the room. He smiled at them, closing the door behind him.

Rose tilted her head to the side, studying him. "So, you're my father."

He seemed briefly taken aback by Rose's manner, but he smiled at her before sitting across the table from her. "Yes, I am."

"Why didn't you say anything when we met last month?"

His expression sobered. "I didn't want to intrude on your life, not in that way at least. Did you want me to interrupt you?"

Rose's eyes went wide. "No. I'm glad you were just mysterious."

Abe grinned at her. "I've always wanted to know you, but we needed to wait until the time was right."

"Now that I'm an almost graduated adult?"

"Yes," Abe agreed. "It was never planned for me to meet you."

"Why?" Rose looked between her parents. "And what changed?"

Janine looked at them, arms crossed across her chest as she observed. She remained silent.

Abe considered Rose thoughtfully for several moments before responding. "I'm a businessman. Some of my business is dangerous."

Rose snorted.

Abe continued, ignoring Rose. "Danger is part of many businesses, and I have made enemies. The enemies I have wouldn't hesitate to use my child against me. So, you were kept a secret. I've supported you in my own ways. I send an anonymous donation to this school every year. I've always been available for your mother to reach if anything went wrong. You seemed happy, so I was happy to let you live your own life."

Abe smiled at her. It was a soft, paternal smile. Rose was a bit taken aback by the expression. "When I saw you, I realized that I was a foolish man for losing so much time. You're my only child. If you'll accept me, I'd like to be part of your life."

She didn't hesitate. Rose smiled broadly. "I'd like that."

They talked for several hours, getting to know one another. Rose hugged her parents goodnight when she left, surprising Abe.

She texted Dimitri on her way out of the guest apartments. She would have loved to stay with him that night, but she needed to sleep before her trials. Rose thought that staying with Dimitri would cause a distinct lack of sleep.

Rose got ready quickly the next day. She was nervous and excited for the trials. She had seen them before, but seeing and doing were different things.

Rose and her fellow senior novices made their way to a holding area which was behind the outdoor stadium. It was a wooden construction, erected over the course of a week. The stadium grounds were also transformed into a large obstacle course for the novices to test their skills.

Some of the students peeked into the arena to glimpse what might be ahead. Others were talking to their mentors or stretching or psyching themselves up. Rose and Eddie walked to their mentor, Mikhail Tanner.

"You'll both do well," Mikhail said. "Don't overthink the trials. You've done this stuff before. You've faced real Strigoi before."

Rose and Eddie nodded and thanked him. They stretched as they waited. Eddie was more nervous than Rose. He paced. She didn't. She didn't want to stress herself.

She was going in the middle of the pack. They had drawn numbers from a hat to determine their order. It was a fair way to do the trials, avoiding the routine of alphabetical order.

Curious to see who was watching, Rose walked to the canvas opening. She looked outside, seeing the people on the bleachers. Her eyes found her family and friends. It was such a strange group, that it took Rose a while to absorb it all.

Dimitri was there, she noticed him quickly. Rose was surprised that he hadn't come to her now, since he had been her mentor. Instead, he was seated with the rest of her group. Janine and Abe sat together. Mason was there, exempt from the trials. Lissa, Christian, Jill, Adrian, and Sonya sat with them. The Dragomirs— Eric, Rhea, and Andre — were also in the group, as was Tasha.

Rose's heart felt full, happy. Seeing so many people together that she loved was beautiful. She wondered how often they would be together again. Shaking off those thoughts, Rose rested until it was her time to go into the arena.

The trial itself was a blur. Rose fought guardians playing Strigoi and defended a guardian playing Moroi. There were bridges, a maze, and groups of guardians fighting together against her.

When it was over, Rose was breathing heavily and covered in sweat. The audience cheered with deafening applause. She realized a moment later that she had been given a standing ovation. She was stunned by the response and started laughing tiredly.

Alberta led Rose back into the holding area. Someone - Mikhail - pressed a bottle of water into Rose's hands. She drank greedily, slumping onto a bench.

Her body was suddenly far more exhausted than she realized. She breathed deeply, relaxing herself. Adrenaline still prevented her from feeling the full effects of the trials, but she knew that she would be sore later.

She left the room when she was able to walk steadily. They were all dismissed after their trial, free until their promise mark ceremony later in the day. Rose found her small contingent waiting for her, not far from where she exited.

A fresh burst of energy enlivened Rose, and she ran to Dimitri. She flung her arms around him and kissed him. She was too excited and happy to care that her parents and the Dragomirs were nearby. She was an adult and a guardian now.

She laughed as she pulled away from Dimitri's lips. "How'd I do?"

His hands rested comfortably on her hips. "You are phenomenal."

She looked to the side, past Dimitri. Her parents were smiling. Eddie, who had gone before Rose, grinned at her. Lissa was delighted, a feeling which radiated to Rose through the bond. Christian, Jill, and Adrian also smiled. Tasha and Sonya seemed amused. Mason's smile had dimmed a bit, excitement for her success dimmed by his feelings. The Dragomirs were stunned. Andre recovered first, laughing softly. It took a long time for Eric and Rhea to respond. Their faces gained composure and they too smiled, albeit pensively.

Rose took Dimitri's arm and turned to face them. "Now that I'm officially graduating, we can finally tell you that we're together."

"You two seem very happy," Rhea said diplomatically. She glanced at Janine. "I'm surprised that you didn't tell us, but it seems that your … parents know." The Dragomirs had only been told about Abe's relationship to Rose before the trials.

Rose and Dimitri took a few steps closer, arm-in-arm, still smiling. "Yeah," Rose replied. "Mom and I talked about it a while ago. We didn't want many people to know."

It took a few moments for the Dragomirs to fully come around, but they soon congratulated Rose on her success and on her relationship. Rose left them all a few moments later, walking with Eddie back to the dorm. Everyone else returned to the bleachers to watch the rest of the novices, as was polite.

Rose showered, changed, and rested until it was time for the novices to graduate and become guardians.

The novice graduation ceremony was solemn and long. The novices stood together as, one by one, their scores were read and they received their promise marks. The room was filled primarily with other dhampirs — family, friends, and guardians. There were a handful of Moroi guests who attended by the invitation of the graduates. Rose had invited the Dragomirs and her father. She had also invited Christian, but he had snorted and declined, not wishing to sit through two graduation ceremonies in as many days.

Mason, who had no trial score, went first. He had always been first alphabetically, and though he had been working with the guardians since losing his hand in March, he was receiving his mark with the rest of his class. Rose was proud of him and some part of her was glad that he had battle marks to go with his promise mark. They were the only two novices graduating with a molnija and a zvezda. A handful of other novices had also earned molnija marks in the fight on campus, but Rose and Mason were the only two who had no idea how many Strigoi they had killed. Rose, assisted by Christian, had killed more Strigoi than anyone else in the battle. Mason had been too traumatized in the battle to recall much of it at all.

The tattoos took a long time, so there was a considerable wait between students. Rose didn't mind the quiet of the ceremony. She understood the weight of the promise they were making to be guardians. She could have abandoned the path to becoming a guardian at any time, but she had remained and would continue her life as a guardian.

Rose listened attentively to the scores of her classmates. Many of them had received high marks. She was proud of them. She also felt an ache for Meredith, wondering how her friend would have done. Every now and then, Rose looked at her classmates and wondered when, if ever, they would see one another again.

Rose heard gasps when her score was read. She, too, was stunned. Rose's score was far and away the highest in her class. She glanced at Mason and Eddie when she walked past them to be tattooed, and they grinned proudly at her. While seated, she allowed her eyes to drift toward the audience. She saw the pride in the faces of her family and friends, and the look of love and admiration on Dimitri's face stole her breath away.

Afterward, Rose changed again for her graduation party. It was being held in one of the many banquet rooms in the school. She decided to wear an emerald green wrap dress. The fabric was light and airy, and the look was classy. She wore, as always, her two pendants on a thin chain around her neck.

Dimitri met her in the lobby of her dorm. She grinned at him as his eyes travelled the length of her body. He smiled as she walked to him. "You're a guardian now."

She wrapped her arms around his waist, looking up at him. "Are you proud of me?"

He bent to kiss her, soft and sweet. "Very. You are incredible."

Warmth spread through her. She loved him, which made her feel a little guilty about keeping a secret from him. She and Lissa had made some decisions about the future which they were going to tell everyone at the end of the party. They hoped it would go over well.

She let the kiss linger for several moments before pulling back. "Time to celebrate."

He took her hand in his as they walked from her dorm to the banquet hall where her friends and family waited to celebrate her graduation.

When the party was winding down, Rose and Lissa gathered a small group together to talk about their plans for the future. The group was large, but everyone in it was important to their circle. Lissa's parents, brother, and sister stayed. Rose's parents also stayed. Christian, Tasha, Dimitri, Adrian, Sonya, and Mikhail remained as well. So did all four Dragomir guardians.

When they were alone, Lissa and Rose stood together, looking at their assembled family and friends.

Lissa drew a deep breath and spoke first. "A lot of you have asked what my plans are for the future. I've always had a lot of ideas, too many most of the time. And while this is Rose's party, we've been planning some things together." Lissa paused before stating her first point. "She's going to be my guardian."

"I better be," Rose said, which earned a few laughs.

Lissa smiled and continued. "I still plan to go to college in the future. I still plan to look at colleges this summer, but we're planning something else too."

Rose looked around, drawing a nervous breath. "All of you know about spirit to some degree. Some of you know that Dimitri was bound to Ivan Zeklos like I am to Lissa. And some of you know that he has been hunting for Ivan." Rose swallowed the lump in her throat. "But he heard a story that some of us have been trying to find answers to. … It might be possible to restore a Strigoi."

The few who didn't know this reacted in shock and disbelief.

Lissa continued. "I know it sounds crazy, but several of us have been trying to figure out if it can be done. While some have been looking for the source of the story, the other spirit users and I have been trying to figure it out on our own." She looked meaningfully at Sonya.

Sonya took a step forward. "Lissa and I believe that in order to restore a Strigoi, a spirit user has to heal them. We don't know how, which means that we still need to find Robert Doru to know how he did it."

"So, you think it's possible?" More than one person asked.

"Yes," Adrian said. "I was the most skeptical, but if we can raise the dead—" He gestured to Rose and Dimitri. "— then why can't we restore the undead?"

Tasha looked at the spirit users. "Restoring the dead requires touching them, right?"

"Yes," Dimitri agreed. He looked at Lissa. "No."

"What?" she asked.

"You are not going near Ivan!"

"She isn't yours to protect," Rose interjected, voice hard and firm.

"I'm the strongest healer," Lissa said. She looked at Adrian and Sonya. "We already discussed this. When we know how Robert restored a Strigoi, I'll be the spirit user who does the healing."

"You're not hunting Strigoi," Rhea exclaimed.

"I'll be safe," Lissa said quickly.

Christian spoke up before anyone else could protest. His voice was colder than normal, detached. "I plan to intervene if she is in danger."

"Christian," Tasha said softly.

Christian looked at his aunt, shaking his head wordlessly. She turned away, not looking at anyone.

"We aren't asking for permission," Lissa said.

Rose continued after her. "And we don't plan to be reckless. When we know how to do it, we will develop a plan of attack. I'm not going to endanger Lissa. That's why we're telling all of you now, together."

Abe broke the short silence that followed. "And if I refuse to provide further information on Robert Doru to Lady Ozera and Guardian Belikov?"

Rose gave him a dark smile. "Would you really do that?"

Father and daughter considered one another for several moments before Abe shook his head. "No, but I can hope that anything I find will be used wisely."

Dimitri looked from Abe to Rose. He held Rose's gaze. He loved her, but hated this idea. "Rose is a skilled fighter. We all saw her fight. I've fought beside her. And I know she would do anything to protect Lissa. Whatever information we learn will be used wisely." He looked at Lissa and the other spirit users. "I'm impressed with your reasoning. It makes sense that healing is the key and that if the dead can be raised, then a similar process should work on the undead too."

Sonya nodded. "Our only concern is that we don't know if it would create another shadow-kissed bond. We need Robert's input. We need to find him."

"I don't like this plan," Eric Dragomir said quietly. "However, Ivan was a good man, and I cannot fault any of you for wanting to give his soul rest. He was dear to many in this room. If it is possible to restore a Strigoi … the potential consequences are astounding."

Lissa looked at her father. "So, you're okay with us doing this?"

Eric sighed. "I doubt I could stop you, and for now, this is still an idea in its planning stage. I want to know more when you make further plans."

Slowly, the rest of the room agreed with the idea. There were many reservations, since hunting a Strigoi was dangerous, but they all agreed that the risks could be minimized with enough planning. All they needed was to find Robert Doru, and afterward they could hunt for Ivan.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thanks for reading! See you again soon!_


	32. Reorientation

Ivan Zeklos enjoyed his freedom. Away from Sofia, he was finally able to exercise his own will. He still worked for her through the internet. He also maintained her connections in the northeastern United States. The Strigoi in this region had their own unique ways of interacting with one another. Ivan learned and adapted. His training under Sofia had greatly tempered his Strigoi impulses. He was able to think and plan first before lashing out with instinctive violence.

He had taken to mapping out the Moroi and dhampir communities in the region. He knew where most of them were from memory. He had, after all, been raised for the first portion of his life at Court. This region was, in many ways, Ivan's home.

He didn't tell any of his human and Strigoi contacts about the communities. This was his own project, his own information. A few humans did help gather data for him. Sometimes a community changed locations after a few years, so the humans helped track those changes.

So far, Ivan had thirty individual enclaves mapped across New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Maryland, and Delaware. He assumed there could be more, but it was a start.

The map was literal. Ivan had set aside a bedroom, stripping it of everything except for light blocking material over the windows, and turned it into a map room. He had maps on one wall for all the Moroi and dhampir enclaves and maps on another wall for all the Strigoi houses he knew. He had a third set of maps for known human allies to Strigoi, as well as maps of all the Alchemist facilities he knew.

It turned out that knowledge was indeed power.

Ivan also began taking notes on every Strigoi he knew. He recorded their locations, approximate ages, temperaments, behaviors, professions, and connections. He pinned their names to locations on the map.

He also wrote down as much information as possible about other immortals. He knew little about their locations, but he knew a lot about the various species. Of course, that was supposing that the water spirit hadn't lied to Ivan. She hadn't told him much about her own race.

Though Ivan was still a very young Strigoi, he had amassed a great deal of knowledge in so short a time. What he had known as a Moroi and what he had learned since wove a web of information which could be used to his benefit. Ivan never planned to tell a soul just how much he knew. No, he would keep it a secret known only to himself.

He took to Awakening others from time to time, building out a network of subordinates. He also had begun a few human contracts. He liked the system Sofia had of servants and contracted workers. It was a simple, clean, and efficient process.

It was late June when Ivan made his best score. The human Ivan stumbled across was named Thomas. He wore black clothes, had a green and blue mohawk, and had multiple piercings and gauges on his face. Ivan considered killing the young man outright, but Thomas had reacted quickly to the threat. Thomas offered Ivan an exchange for his life. His sister turned out to be a feeder to some Moroi, and Thomas visited her regularly. When Ivan asked where the girl lived, the answer warmed some malicious place in his heart.

The sister was a feeder at a large facility in the Poconos which resembled a college campus. Ivan knew right away that it was the Moroi Royal Court. So, Ivan allowed Thomas to live, and had him bring back everything he could learn about Court gossip. After all, the feeders heard everything the Moroi said around them. Feeders were treated like cattle, disregarding the fact that humans were sentient and intelligent creatures. And feeders could share information just as easily as any other person.

* * *

Rose's first day as a newly minted guardian involved a tour of Court with other new guardians. The next day, the new guardians all attended a banquet where royal Moroi could talk to them and request guardians as their own. Rose felt like she was on display.

True to the predictions of her friends, Rose had the highest final scores in her guardian work of any graduating novice. She was a hot commodity, even though she was already spoken for. So, she talked to countless royals throughout the banquet, chatting amiably with them all. Occasionally Lissa would send her sympathetic words across their bond.

Rose had no responsibilities yet, so she spent her free time with her friends or with Dimitri. Her parents were also still at court, though Janine would be departing shortly. Abe was remaining to work with Tasha. Tasha planned to stay at court to work on several different projects, which meant that Dimitri was now scheduled at Court and had his own room in the guardians' main dormitory/apartment building.

Dimitri forgave Rose for what she and Lissa had pulled at graduation. He had been upset with their scheming, but he knew that they were right. If healing Ivan was possible, Lissa would have to do it. For now, they could do nothing but wait and search.

Three days after the banquet, Rose was told to report to the guardian's administrative building. She had been there every day, doing one task or another, but this was her first official summons. She checked in at the reception desk and was instructed on where to go.

She walked down a few halls until she reached the room. Entering, she found Hans Croft, head of the Court guardians, seated at a table with Medha. Rose met Medha's eyes, and she tried her best not to start grinning. Medha's dark eyes sparkled with amusement.

Hans instructed Rose to sit and proceeded to place folders in front of the two young women. The name Vasilisa Dragomir was written on folders.

"The two of you have been assigned as guardians to Lady Vasilisa Dragomir," Hans said. "I was told that you know one another?"

"Yes, sir," said Medha in her English accented voice.

"Yes," Rose replied. Belatedly, she added a, "sir".

He continued. "I was briefing Guardian Thomas on some of the peculiarities regarding Lady Dragomir — her element and the bond you share with her. I'd like the two of you to go over your information together before introducing yourselves as Lady Dragomir's guardians. It's also a good idea for you to spar together."

"Of course," Medha replied.

Rose simply nodded. She was excited that her partner was someone she knew and liked. She wondered if Christian had a guardian yet, since he was allotted one.

Hans stood. "I'll take my leave then."

Medha started grinning when the door closed. Rose laughed, excited to be partnered with a friend.

"This is amazing," Rose said. "You'll love Lissa. I'm so glad it's you. I was hoping for someone I know and like."

"I have one of the best records out of the available guardians at Court, unless you include the older guardians. Being friends with you actually helped the match along, since they know we get along." Medha's dark eyes studied Rose. "This spirit stuff is crazy. I can't believe how much you've kept a secret."

Rose laughed. "Wait 'til I tell you what isn't in the reports."

She seemed wary of that. "How long will that take?"

"Ages." Rose stood. "We can talk about it later. I want Lissa to meet you. Don't call her anything else. She hates her full name, and Rhea is Lady Dragomir."

Medha stood as well. "I believe you, but I will wait for her permission to call her by her nickname." They both picked up their folders. "First, I want to show you the schedule boards."

Rose agreed and followed Medha further into the building.

A large room was set aside for schedules. Updated daily, every guardian at court could be found on the lists on the walls. It was a bit daunting at first glance, though Rose picked up on it quickly when Medha explained how the schedules worked.

Every guardian was listed alphabetically by last name and they were grouped into different categories. The Queen's royal guard had a list to themselves. Court assigned guardians were a second list. Guardians who were visiting with their Moroi had another list. The final list was all the new graduates who had yet to be assigned.

Medha had been removed from the schedule of Court guardians and was now listed as assigned. Her schedule was blocked off for the rest of the week as training with Rose. Rose's schedule was also blocked off as training.

Rose's eyes scanned the list. She saw her name, that she was assigned to Lissa, that her partner was Medha, and that there was no planned date to leave court. Above her name was Hathaway, Janine. Rose saw her mother's information, schedule, and that she was to leave court in two days.

"Thanks for letting me know, mom," Rose muttered under her breath. She wasn't exactly upset, but it would have been nice to know exactly when her mom was leaving.

Rose scanned the rest of the schedule. She saw Dimitri's name, assigned to Tasha, the hours he was on duty, and that he had no listed date for departure. Down a bit, she gasped. Castile, Edison was listed as assigned to Ozera, Christian.

"Eddie is Christian's guardian." Rose was so excited that she was close to speechless.

"A friend?" Medha asked.

"One of my best friends." Rose swallowed the unexpected lump in her throat. "He was so worried about his assignment. I thought I'd rarely ever see him after this week." She turned to Medha. "Oh, someone will be reassigned whenever Liss and Christian get married — not that they're engaged, but it's going to happen eventually."

Medha just smiled. "Probably me, but that's fine. Assignments come and go for all of us."

"True," Rose agreed. She glanced at the list a bit more and froze. Katrina was assigned. She thought that Katrina was never going to be reassigned. And Katrina was assigned to Mia Rinaldi.

Mia had graduated this year as well. Having been tutored at court since having Kevin, Mia had worked ahead and graduated a year early. Her having a guardian was unusual as well, due to her lowborn status and youth.

"Kat got assigned."

Medha blinked and looked at the schedule. "Isn't that the mother of Lord Andre Dragomir's son?"

"Yes."

Medha's eyebrows rose. "Do they get along?"

"Yeah, they've been hanging out a lot lately, from what I know. But Kat was a permanent at Court. Did she tell you anything?"

"No, but we can always ask her."

Rose nodded. "I think it's time for a family meeting. You can meet everyone, and we can find out how Kat got assigned to Mia."

Rose sent a text to all the Dragomirs about the new assignment, asking to meet up with everyone. She and Medha then briefly went over their folders before heading out across Court.

It took a while to get everyone settled and introduced. There were now six guardians directly assigned to members of the Dragomir family. Frank Linden and Daniel Bellamy were assigned to guard Eric, Rhea, and Jill. David Smith and Vincent Addison were assigned to guard Andre and his children when they were together. Rose and Medha were now assigned to guard Lissa. However, since the family often spent time together, there could be some overlapping of responsibilities for the guardians.

Mia and her parents joined everyone else at the Dragomir's house. They sat with the children and Katrina as her position was explained to everyone.

"The head guardians have been trying to get me comfortable with leaving court for months," Katrina said. "I've gone out with other guardians a few times, always during the day. It's been difficult. I'm getting better with it, though I'm still not where I used to be."

Katrina took a deep breath and continued, looking at Mia. "When we started getting closer, I thought that it might be a possible for me to be assigned to you. It makes sense, with the kids. I knew you were planning to graduate and start classes at a local college this fall. So, I've been working with your parents and Rhea for the past month to see how well I can do out of court with a Moroi."

"You never said anything about it," Mia said. She looked at her parents and Rhea as well. "None of you did."

"It was kept quiet," Katrina said. "If I couldn't do it, then there would be no point in mentioning it to anyone. Frank and Daniel were always there with me, making sure that I was able to perform my duties. I'm still not quite ready for extended periods of time out of wards, but I'm able to work for several hours at a time during the day, which is what you need for school. If we go out with the children, one of the other guardians here will accompany us. I'm also able to guard your parents when they leave court."

"Why me?" Mia asked. She seemed like she might say more but looked around and held her tongue.

Kat shrugged. "Family connections."

Eric Dragomir spoke up. "When Katrina brought up this idea, we decided to support her. We already knew that you plan to attend college, and we thought that this would be a good safety precaution."

Mia and her parents seemed pleased by that. Across the room, Jill made a sound under her breath. She stood, excusing herself from the room. Lissa's eyes followed her sister, and Rose saw through the bond the pained look Jill had mostly hidden until she turned in the hallway.

Sympathy filled Lissa. Lissa knew that Jill wondered why her father had never gotten a guardian for her and her mother. He could have done it. Prince Eric Dragomir had enough influence to get a guardian for someone as a favor. But he had left Emily Mastrano to her own devices, and Emily was dead.

Lissa often wondered what it would be like to go through what her sister had. What would it be like to lose your sense of self, your identity, and your name? When would that new life seem normal? Or would it never be normal? Would the new self be an act? Was Lissa over thinking?

Lissa met Rose's eyes, giving her a small smile of acknowledgment. She realized that Rose had been listening to her thoughts. 'I worry about her,' Lissa said across their bond.

Rose gave her a very slight nod, unnoticed by anyone else in the room. The others were continuing to discuss guardian arrangements and Mia's future plans.

'Talk to me later? We have plans to discuss.'

Rose bit her lip to suppress the smile that threatened. This was her first meeting with all the family and the family guardians; she should stay professional. She gave another small nod.

The guardians left the Dragomirs together so that they could train as a group. They invited Dimitri and Eddie to join them, since they would likely work together a lot. The nine guardians sparred together for two hours in one of the athletic fields the guardians used for practice. They planned to go over more throughout the week so that the newer guardians could learn the strengths and weaknesses of the other guardians in the group.

Rose had, at one time or another, trained with most of the group. Eddie and David had both trained with Rose since they were young. Dimitri had been her mentor for months. Frank and Daniel had been around since Rose was a child, and they had shown her some techniques from time to time, as well. Rose had seen Vincent and David practice before, but she had never practiced with Vincent. Medha and Katrina were the only two whom she had never seen spar before. Rose was very quickly impressed with the two women.

Katrina was quick and fierce. Rose could very easily see how she had earned six molnija marks. Medha moved like a dancer, lithe and flexible. She was incredibly light on her feet.

At the end of two hours, tired and sweating, the nine guardians all had a decent knowledge of the strengths and weaknesses of their colleagues. Dimitri and Daniel were the strongest and fastest of the guardians. Frank, though he was also quick and strong, was slowing as he got older. It wouldn't surprise Rose if he retired or transferred into a less physically demanding role soon. The other guardians were all good, each with their own strengths. Rose thought that she was better than Eddie, David, and Medha. She also thought that Katrina and Vincent were about on the same level as herself.

They all separated, making plans to meet up again the next day. Medha would meet with Lissa for longer the next day, as well.

Rose and Dimitri walked together afterward, strolling across court together. It was still strange to Rose that they could be together in public without anyone commenting on their relationship. She loved it, though. She loved their moments together.

"You seem very happy," Dimitri said.

"I am. I have a friend as my partner, and Eddie is with Christian. Plus, the other guardians in the family are all good. I didn't realize how good Katrina was."

"She was one of the top graduates her year."

"How do you know that?"

Dimitri smiled at her. "I look at the scores every year. You can look up everyone's scores and the fights they've been in. Your record so far is the most impressive I've seen, for a first year."

She was pleased by his praise, but she shook her head while grinning. "You're biased."

"True." He wrapped an arm around her and gave her a quick kiss. "But, I also know what the records look like. It's very rare for novices to have marks before graduating."

"I know," she sighed. "But my first mark got Jill shot, and my arm and nose were broken. My nose is off a bit from what it used to be."

He looked at her, running his finger along the bridge of her nose. "It's not noticeable, and you're beautiful."

She scrunched her nose and pulled away, smiling at him. "Thank you. My point about how bad everything in Spokane was still stands. It was all covered up, though."

"It had to be covered up, and none of you would ever go off on your own like that again."

"No," she agreed. "We wouldn't. Well, Jill might try hunting Strigoi on her own when she graduates, but that's still a few years off."

Dimitri gave her a worried look. "You sound serious."

"I am. She wants to fight. I don't blame her for wanting to be proactive against the Strigoi, but she needs to be in a good place to do it. At least she still has a few years left in school."

Dimitri nodded. He fell into a pensive silence as they walked.

"What's up?" she asked.

"I have something to tell you. Nothing big, but it's still something you should know."

"Okay," she said warily.

They stopped, and he walked with her to some nearby benches. He looked a bit sheepish when he spoke again. "Mentioning the Moroi fighting reminded me that I have to tell you a bit about Tasha's research. She hired a translator to work with her on documents she can't read."

"That makes sense. What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, but I think you need to know that the person she hired is Svetlana — the woman I used to date."

"Oh, um, okay." Rose paused a moment, recalling Dimitri mentioning that they had travelled between the family archives in April. "You were working with her when you weren't talking to me?"

"Tasha was working with her. I was guarding and researching Robert."

"But you travelled with her and spent time with her when you said nothing to me, at all, for two months?" Her throat grew tight with emotion. She was hurt and angry and confused. "Why didn't you tell me before now?"

"I didn't think about it," he said honestly. "I was absorbed in my thoughts about Ivan when I was in Europe. And Robert ever since. When I started talking to you again, it seemed unimportant to tell you that Sveta is working for Tasha. I was more interested in talking to you."

She wanted to say something about how hurt she was, but she didn't. She hadn't told Dimitri about all the time she had spent with Mason. Rose had slept curled together with him multiple nights a week since March. A couple times had been after she and Dimitri had gotten together again. It was innocent. Nothing had happened between her and Mason, but she had also never told anyone about it. Could she really be angry about Dimitri's ex working for Tasha when she had been cuddling her own ex regularly for months? She decided to remain mute on the topic.

"Why tell me now?"

"Svetlana is at Court. She and Tasha are going to continue their research here. I want you to meet her, and she wants to meet you, too."

Rose hesitated, then sighed in resignation. "I guess we can. When?"

"Tomorrow. She and her son are getting settled today. They have the apartment beside Tasha's in the short-term guest apartment building."

She tried not to let her anger show, but she didn't do a good job of it. "When did you find this out?"

He let out a frustrated breath. "Tasha told me shortly before we joined you for practice. I didn't know she was coming here."

That gave Rose pause. Her anger abated, and she looked at him, puzzled. "Tasha didn't tell you sooner?"

He took a seat on the bench. "No. She doesn't tell me much, actually. She won't talk about Ivan. I don't ask about her research. We only occasionally talk about Robert. She's distant, and until this is all over, she's likely to remain that way. Svetlana probably assumed that Tasha had told me. She and I already distanced ourselves from one another years ago, so her not telling me wasn't a surprise."

Rose sat beside him, squeezing his hand. "Sorry. I didn't know it was like that."

He squeezed back. "If it makes you feel any better, when I talked to Sveta in Baia, I told her about you. She called me an idiot for not talking to you."

Rose laughed. His eyes met hers, and he gave her a small smile. "I think I like her already," Rose said.

"Are you okay now?"

"Yeah. I was just…"

"Upset with me for abandoning you," he finished.

She bit her lip, nodding. "I know why you did it, but it still hurts. I know you lost two of your closest friends. I know you lost the bond. But I lost people, too. Then you left me and cut me off completely. I could barely sleep for weeks afterward."

He wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close. He kissed the top if her head. "I will never stop apologizing for that."

She snorted, still snuggled against his chest. "If I keep bringing it up, you'll eventually get annoyed."

He kissed her head again. "Eventually, yes. But, not for some time."

She turned, tilting her head up to face him and kissed him. It was a slow kiss, soft and tender. They both wanted more, but they soon pulled apart. They were in public and two guardians making out on a bench in the middle of Court was hardly appropriate behavior.

"Can we go back to your place?" she whispered against his lips.

He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "Of course." He pulled back, looking at her curiously. "You're not mad anymore?"

She grinned at him, standing. She held out her hand, which he accepted as he stood. "Not really. Besides, we still have two months to make up for."

He made a sound low in his throat which made warmth flow through her body. Dimitri's hands wrapped around her waist, drawing her close. She looked up at him, wrapping her arms around his neck as their lips met for a long, lingering kiss. All thoughts of former lovers were forgotten with that kiss. They loved one another and were together now; nothing else mattered.

* * *

Lissa waited patiently for Rose to get home. She knew that her best friend was probably with Dimitri. Lissa couldn't blame her, since she spent most of her own time with Christian.

Christian had spent most of the day with Lissa, but was now in the apartment he shared with Tasha across court. Space at Court was limited, so they were staying together. Both Lissa and Christian were excited that Eddie was Christian's guardian. They would all be able to spend a lot of time together now.

Lissa sighed, thinking about the future. Until they found Robert Doru, nothing more could be done toward restoring Ivan. Lissa, Sonya, Adrian, and Oksana were all doing independent research into spirit – with mixed results. Nothing was pointing toward restoration. Was it really possible to heal a Strigoi?

Then there was the other stuff on Lissa's mind. She had been invited to several parties over the summer and beyond. She was expected to attend some, if not all, of the engagements. They were all over the world, hosted by important royals. Lissa needed to do her part in maintaining her family's voice in politics.

Andre and their father had been the only members of their family council for years. Lissa would join them now that she was almost eighteen. She would sit in on meetings and attend parties to sway support to her family's causes. That was her duty. This was the life she was expected to live.

Lissa wanted to help be a voice for change in their world, but she also knew the cost. She knew that going off around the world to attend these parties would separate Rose from Dimitri, and she felt guilty about that.

Lissa wanted Rose to have all the happiness in the world, but she didn't know how. She had never put much thought into the structure of their world until recently. She had accepted the status quo and never questioned it. But now… now she felt the wrongness of their society. She saw the inequality of poor and rich Moroi. She saw how mistreated the dhampirs were. If only she could fix it.

Lissa felt Rose enter the house. The sensation attached to the aura of the shadow kissed was indescribable. Something about them felt wrong, for lack of a better word. Lissa thought that it was stronger for her with Rose, since they were connected. She always had a sense of their connection, though it was faint. It was like a soft tether, invisible and intangible, which Lissa knew was there. Ivan had taught her how to feel it many months ago.

Rose's footsteps echoed softly down the hall as she climbed the stairs. Lissa set aside the book she was reading and looked out her open door as Rose drew close.

Rose was smiling as she looked into Lissa's room. "You wanted to talk?"

Lissa smiled back at her. "Yeah, come sit with me."

Rose did as asked, shutting the door behind her. She sat beside Lissa on the bed. "What's up?"

"Future plans, which we can talk about soon. I want to know how your day went."

"It was fine. Medha's great, so I hope you two get along."

"She seems really nice," Lissa agreed. "She's one of the guardians you hang out with?"

"Yep. She has no drama either, which is fantastic."

Lissa laughed. "Do many of the others?"

"Yeah. Relationship drama surrounds a few of them. It's hard to date as guardians, too." Rose paused for a thoughtful moment. "I actually don't think I've heard her mention dating at all."

"Do a lot of guardians not date?"

Rose sighed. "Yes and no. Some try to keep a relationship for the long term. Others just have flings. It's not easy to have a relationship when your life is dedicated to protecting someone else."

Guilt waved through Lissa and into the bond. Rose gave her a small smile. "I knew what I was signing up for, Liss."

"But did you have another choice? If you could do anything else, what would you choose?"

"It doesn't matter. I chose you. Even if I didn't want to be a guardian, I'm still bound to you. You're the reason I'm alive."

Lissa let out a frustrated breath. "I know that, but I also want to know what else you would do if you could. I can do anything I want with my life, and I still have no idea what I want to do."

Rose thought a moment. "Maybe something with animal behavior. I liked that class. Or a combat instructor, since I'm pretty good at fighting. Something where I could be active and see the world."

Lissa smiled at her. "I hope that you can still have your dreams while being my guardian." Then she sighed, resigned. "I'm going to attend a few parties over the next several months. We'll be away from Court for them. We'll be away for my birthday, as well. I want to go to the house in the Hamptons."

"You didn't get tired of the Hamptons after we were there for months last year?"

That was the house where they had gone to recover after being pulled out of school their junior year.

"No." Lissa smiled wistfully. "I miss it sometimes. Life was hard after the car accident, especially with our bond starting, but it was also simple there. I felt safe there, and life was less complicated for us."

Rose leaned against Lissa. "True."

"I feel bad for taking you away from Dimitri when we go to the parties I'm invited to."

"It's what we signed up for."

Lissa leaned into Rose. "I want your people to have more choices. I want it for you and Dimitri and Violet and all the others."

"You'll find a way," Rose said. "I have faith in you and your family. You'll make things better. You'll change the world. And don't worry about Dimitri and me, we'll make that work too."

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Months ago when I asked for input on Rose's guarding partner, many of you were kind enough to give feedback. It helped me finalize several ideas I had for what Rose's partner would be like. So, thank you!_

 _Thanks for reading! See you again soon!_


	33. Hunting

Tatiana Ivashkov sat placidly behind her desk. Eric Dragomir knew the calm exterior was a well-rehearsed facade. He had a similar mask — every political player did.

"I can't believe that this is your counter-proposal," she was saying. "Asking for Moroi to fight is too … controversial."

Eric gritted his teeth. "Then we should train our people in self-defense, at the very least. Students have been trained at St. Vladimir's. It made them feel confident and safe."

"Which is understandable, given their circumstances. Though this would also be looked on with disapproval as a general suggestion."

"Their circumstances?" Anger tinged his voice. "My daughters were there. Lissa's dorm was breached. Jill helped seal the entrances to her dorm with water magic. Lissa and your great-nephew saw the dead. Christian Ozera fought in the battle with fire magic, which was the only thing preventing a higher death toll. So, of course, the students wanted to do something to feel safer. But half of the council thinks that the best solution to the Strigoi threat is to lower the guardian age."

"A measure which you know I have refrained from commenting on."

"Do you know what happened to the novices, just at St. Vladimir's? Of the senior novices, one was killed, one lost a hand, and two dropped out. Those were fully trained students in their last year."

"And several more students received marks, including your elder daughter's new guardian."

"Sixteen is too young. And compulsion to force guardian service was the other suggestion. Is that not too controversial? Or is cowardice our people's strength now?" His voice had grown sharp and hard. He drew a few steadying breaths.

Tatiana sipped her water. Her expression hadn't changed. "I oppose the compulsion suggestion. I have made that clear."

"Your issue with my proposal is that Tasha is involved."

Tatiana's nose wrinkled. "I wish you wouldn't associate with Tasha Ozera. She is nothing but trouble."

"Her heart is in the right place. She wants the best for our people. I want the best for our people – Moroi and dhampir alike."

"That particular stance is controversial, in and of itself."

He gave a harsh laugh. "So, is my granddaughter not one of our people? Is she something else because she's a dhampir?"

Tatiana didn't answer him. She pressed her lips together in a thin line. Silence lingered in the room.

Eric's voice was very low and quiet when he broke the silence. "How many dhampirs are in your own family? Do you even know?"

Her eyes met his, cold and unreadable. "I have another meeting to prepare for, Prince Dragomir. I thank you for sharing your thoughts with me."

Eric stood, bowing his head. His movement and voice were stiff. "Of course, your majesty."

Eric walked swiftly from the room. The council needed to reach a vote soon. The debates had gone on endlessly for months. He needed something to sway more members to his side. Tatiana had remained obstinately silent on some topics, so he didn't know where her votes would fall. He called Tasha as he walked, asking her to meet with him later in the day.

* * *

Rose fidgeted as she sat. She and Dimitri were in Tasha's apartment, waiting for Svetlana to come over. She knew that she shouldn't worry, but she had never been in a situation like this before. And yet, Dimitri had met Mason, so this was basically the same thing in reverse.

"It seems weird that you have a key to Tasha's place," she told Dimitri.

"It's actually rather normal for a guardian to have access to the place their Moroi is living. Besides which, I have lived or travelled with Tasha since March."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. I don't know how many people have keys to the Dragomir's house. Should I know that? It seems relevant for safety."

"I'm certain that you could ask."

"I will. I wonder what Eric wants to talk with Tasha about. Lissa said she's going to be part of their discussions too. She's part of the family council now."

"I'm certain she'll tell you later, if you don't glean it from her mind first."

"I try not to do that," she replied. "I want to respect her privacy."

"I know," he said softly.

Rose squeezed his hand. "How are you doing with that?"

A corner of his mouth lifted in a sad smile. "I miss the bond. I miss Ivan more."

"We'll restore him. We know everything except how. When we find that, it shouldn't be too difficult. If this Robert Doru could do it once, so can we."

Dimitri kissed her temple as he squeezed her hand. No words were needed.

There was a knock on the door a few minutes later. Dimitri walked to the door and opened it. Rose watched as Dimitri let in a woman with thick, wispy brown hair. She was taller than Rose by an inch or two. Her face was kind, though she looked tired and perhaps a bit apprehensive. She and Dimitri were speaking quietly in Russian as they entered the living room.

Rose stood, walking a few steps toward them. She studied the other woman's face. It felt strange, meeting someone Dimitri had been involved with. It struck her then that Dimitri might have felt the same way about Mason. She wondered if she should tell Dimitri about how close they had been over the past few months, then decided against it.

Dimitri looked between them, looking just as awkward and uncomfortable as the two women. "Rose, this is Svetlana Eminescu. Svetlana, this is Rose Hathaway, my girlfriend."

The women held out their hands and shook them in greeting.

"A pleasure to meet you," Sveta said. "I'm glad you decided to take him back. He needs a girl to remind him how to have fun in life." She gave Rose a sly grin, which made Rose laugh.

"Nice to meet you," Rose replied. "Weird too."

"I thought it would be more unusual to be here, working with Tasha, without meeting you."

Rose agreed with that.

They took seats around the dining table. Dimitri served them tea. Their conversation was slow to start, awkward and halting. But Rose soon warmed to Svetlana.

"What's the research with Tasha like?" Rose asked. She was largely ignorant of what Tasha was searching the archives for or how the process took place.

"It is very interesting," Svetlana replied. "When we went to the archives, I photographed all the documents which we thought might be useful. Tasha and I have been reading through them for any indications of when and why Moroi stopped using their elements in battle. The two major problems are that we have hundreds of records to read, and we think our people didn't want a record of 'why'."

"But didn't they stop fighting hundreds of years ago?"

Sveta smiled, shaking her head. "No. Some Moroi stopped in the 1700s but most were still fighting Strigoi into the 1800s. Somewhere in the early to mid-1800s, they stopped. Small groups of Moroi still fought, and they left the mainstream of our culture."

"There are separate groups of Moroi out there?" Rose asked.

Dimitri answered. "Yes, though they are scattered. Without any direct connection to mainstream Moroi society, they could live anywhere."

Rose nodded slowly, taking in the information. "So, at some point, almost two hundred years ago, the Moroi got together and decided that doing offensive magic is bad. After they decided this, they didn't write down why, and started telling everyone that Moroi only fought Strigoi long ago and magic is only for peaceful purposes."

"That's exactly what Tasha thinks," Svetlana agreed.

"But is that possible?" Rose looked between Svetlana and Dimitri, disbelieving. "How can history be rewritten so fast?"

"Did you read 1984?" Dimitri asked.

Rose nodded, grimacing. "I skimmed it and got my friends to explain the rest to me. Doesn't the government change stuff all the time and everyone just goes along with it?"

"More or less," Dimitri confirmed. "We live in a closed society. We learn about the human cultures in which we live, but we are not human. Even so, my experiences growing up as a Russian dhampir are different from yours as an American dhampir."

Svetlana continued. "Growing up in Russia, we had a very curated view of Americans. As dhampirs, connected to the larger Moroi community, we could leave that culture and learn about other human points of view. Most humans, however, only had the perspective given to them by the government. Thirty years ago, people didn't have the internet to look up everything. Two hundred years ago, trains were still uncommon. People couldn't easily travel different places to learn what was real and what information was a lie their government wanted them to know. All people had was the word of whomever relayed information to them. If governments can control information now, think about how much more it was controlled then, especially among Moroi."

Rose pondered it briefly, becoming uneasy. How many things could her own people have told her to control her? She knew a few things without putting much effort into thinking. She had been raised with the notion that there were few to no options for dhampirs in the outside world. So many non-guardian women were referred to as blood whores, yet Rose knew several dhampir women who weren't like that at all. Ivy, along with her mother and sister, had chosen to blend in with humans. Svetlana worked as an interpreter. Dimitri's family also had normal jobs. Mason, Eddie, and Meredith also had mothers who worked in the human world. Apparently Rose's semi-distant relatives did fit the blood whore stereotype, but that seemed to be the exception rather than the rule.

Rose chewed her lip briefly in thought. "So, two hundred-ish years ago, the Moroi decided not to fight anymore. They wrote it in the records as Moroi magic is peaceful and should only be used for positive things. Is that when the guardians began?"

"I don't know," said Svetlana. "There have always been dhampir guardians. Towns under the rule of one of the royal families would blend humans, Moroi, and dhampirs together. Those who could fight and defend did so. I'll look into the history of the guardians as an organization, maybe that will lead somewhere."

Rose smiled. "So, I helped the research?"

Sveta laughed. "Possibly. Research tends to be slow and tedious. Given the vast scope of what we're looking for, I'm trying to be diligent. The clues we need might be in unexpected places."

Rose nodded. She stood, wandering to the kitchen to get a glass of water. It felt weird to use Tasha's apartment so casually, but Dimitri insisted that Tasha was fine with their presence. An idea struck Rose as she returned.

"What if it's connected to spirit?"

Dimitri gave her a curious look. "What do you mean?"

Rose set her glass on the table but remained standing. "We know that spirit was known and then forgotten. There's some reason why the Moroi decided to forget about an entire element. Why can't it be the same reason that they stopped fighting with their elements?"

Rose, Dimitri, and Svetlana all exchanged considering looks.

Svetlana smiled, first at Rose, then she turned to Dimitri. "Your girl's a clever one."

Dimitri looked from Sveta to Rose, also smiling. "She is."

Rose flushed with pleasure at the compliments. She decided that the initial awkwardness of meeting Svetlana was worth it. Rose liked her, which was enough to push away any lingering jealous doubts.

"I'll be sure to add spirit into my research," Svetlana said.

"I can give you Sonya Karp's contact information," Rose said. "She took the most notes on spirit. She would know where they looked."

"Thank you." Svetlana looked at her watch. "I have to pick up my son from the childcare service." She stood.

Dimitri stood with her. "Thank you for spending time with us."

"It was fun," Rose said.

Svetlana smiled warmly at Rose. "I'm happy to have met you. It's been a long time since I've seen him happy." She looked at Dimitri and spoke in Russian. "Don't mess this one up."

He gave her a dry smile and responded in Russian. "I'll do my best."

She gave a short laugh before speaking in English again. "I'll see both of you again, probably soon as we're all at Court for the time being."

When Svetlana left, Rose looked at Dimitri impatiently. "What did you two say?"

Grinning, Dimitri placed his hands on her hips and drew her close. "She told me not to mess up the relationship you and I have."

"Oh." Rose looped her arms around his neck. She grinned up at him. Her voice was low, flirtatiously teasing she replied. "And what did you tell her?"

He brought his lips close to hers, responding when they were a hair's breadth apart. "That I will try my best." He kissed her then, soft and tender. "I want us to last, no matter what."

Rose kissed him, a bit it harder and longer. "I want that too. Can we go back to your place?"

Her drew her closer, her hips pressed against him. He slid one hand to the small of her back and let the other hand cup her bottom. "After we clean up here." He kissed her again, slow and languid.

Rose felt warmth and pleasure course through her body at the thought of going back to Dimitri's apartment. Waiting until they got to his room would be a slow, delicious torture, but Rose did understand that they shouldn't be rude to Tasha and Christian.

They were walking across court when Lissa's thoughts pressed into Rose. Rose had gotten good at blocking her friend from her mind, but in moments of strong emotion, Lissa's feelings still flashed into Rose. And the emotions coming from Lissa were a jumble of anger, shock, and confusion. Rose stopped in her tracks, trying to sort through it all.

Dimitri watched Rose with concern. "Rose, are you okay? Is Lissa?"

Rose nodded stiffly. She had only caught flashes of what was troubling Lissa. "They're discussing council stuff. Lissa is upset. I'll explain it when we get back to your place." She clenched her jaw. "You won't like it either."

* * *

Andre Dragomir stood just outside his house with his girlfriend. He and Lauren Voda had decided that they were dating now, after months of talking and getting to know one another. It felt strange to move at such a slow pace with a relationship, but Andre thought that he might like it better than the heedless pace with which he had pursued previous relationships.

He was getting to know Lauren's heart before he knew anything about her body, which was a new experience for Andre. He was beginning to learn how much of himself he had learned to hide from girls with a smile, a kiss, a touch. It was scary and vulnerable to let someone know his mind and faults without the distraction of a physical relationship.

Andre knew that Lauren wasn't opposed to their relationship becoming physical one day. They had talked about it, laying out their hopes and expectations at the start. Lauren had a good head on her shoulders, and she wasn't afraid to say what she wanted up front. He liked her boldness and honesty. She wanted to know that they could be friends and to know that she could handle dating someone with two kids from different mothers. She also didn't want to add yet another child into that any time soon. So, for now, they held hands, talked, and occasionally kissed. And Andre didn't mind the pace at all.

"Are you certain that your father won't mind me sitting in on your private family council meeting?" she asked as he reached for the door.

Andre shrugged. "You already know everything that's being discussed in the council. Dad is telling Lissa and Tasha about it."

"Tasha…?" Lauren drew out the word, uncertain who Andre meant.

"Tasha Ozera," Andre replied. He opened the door, and they walked inside. He glanced over to see her stunned expression, then gave a snort of laughter. "Father has become more liberal of late."

She laughed as well. "There's liberal and there's revolutionary."

"We're all a bit revolutionary where my daughter is concerned."

Lauren caught Andre's hand and squeezed. "I know." She grinned at him. "So, have you told Mia about us yet?"

"No, why? And why only ask about her?"

She shrugged. "You finally told your family yesterday, and Katrina probably figured it out weeks ago."

"Probably," Andre chuckled.

"Mia, on the other hand, is very sensitive when it comes to you."

"I know. I'll talk to her this week." He sighed. "Nothing I do is going to make her happy about my choices. I screwed up with her. I hurt her, and nothing I do is ever going to make things better. Time doesn't heal all wounds."

She squeezed his hand. "Time makes you think about the wounds less often. She'll find someone who makes her happy one of these days. She'll move on and think about how big of a jerk you were as a boyfriend, even though you're a pretty good dad. And she'll think about how amazing the new guy is instead of thinking about you."

"I hope so."

They walked to the library where Eric Dragomir, Lissa, and Tasha were already waiting.

Eric greeted them, his tone courteous though formal. "Lauren, I wasn't expecting you."

"I thought that her input could be useful," Andre said. "She already knows about the council discussions."

"I promise to listen and not divulge anything heard here to anyone without asking you first, Prince Dragomir." Lauren gave Eric her best smile.

"Alright," Eric conceded with a sigh. "Andre would probably tell you later anyway. Welcome, Lady Voda."

Eric quickly introduced Lauren and Tasha before he began outlining the various discussions which were being held by the council. He also explained how these discussions were coming to a vote soon, which was why Lissa knowing where her family stood on matters was so important.

Of course, the fact that most of these matters were highly controversial made the conversation tense and emotional. Lissa and Tasha listened in disbelief to the subjects that had been brought up in closed sessions. The largest issue was that Moroi communities were no longer as safe and secure as everyone thought. After the attacks on the Badicas, Drozdovs, and St. Vladimir's, many were wondering where the Strigoi would strike next. The council was seeking ways to increase security for the Moroi.

Many members of the council believed that increasing the numbers of guardians, which had fallen over the last decade and continued to decrease, was the best way of protecting their people. The issues arose when discussing how to get more guardians. The two ideas which were brought up regularly, Eric and a few others opposed. Lowering the guardian age or compelling dhampirs into being guardians were both horrible ideas from every angle.

"Are the council members completely morally bankrupt?" Tasha seethed.

"No," Andre replied. "It's not even half the families. But they're scared."

"Scared?" Lissa was incredulous. "They're cowards."

"While I don't agree with it either," Lauren said, "most families were impacted by the three attacks. There are many who are rightfully frightened."

Tasha's hands were curled into fists by her sides. "Lissa's right. I've been scared. I've faced Strigoi. I was weak and pathetic because our people refuse to fight back. I'm not that weak girl anymore. None of us need to be weak. We can fight."

"I brought that up," Eric said. "Too many find it controversial."

"Of course they do," Tasha scoffed.

"I'll keep pushing for it," Eric said. "I need you to bring me answers in the research."

Tasha gave an exasperated sigh. "We're trying. Finding the truth in our ancestors' lies isn't easy. Why did you want me to know this?"

Eric stood from where he sat on a plush leather chair. It squeaked as he moved. He poured himself a glass of brandy and contemplated it briefly before he drank. He spoke as he made himself the drink.

"I spoke with Tatiana today. It made me think of something else. We need something to buy time and change perspectives. Too many royals are stuck in their ways, and it's killing us. I brought up the fact that Moroi and dhampirs make up one people. I asked how many dhampirs are in Tatiana's family, and she didn't answer."

He sipped the brandy. "I want to show the royals their dhampir bastards. I want you to help me get them to court and show them off in an open session."

Lauren clapped her hands together in delight. "Oh, that's brilliant!"

Tasha's slack-jawed expression transformed into a dangerous smile. "You're going to expose the secrets of the royals in front of their faces?"

Eric nodded slowly. "My family's secrets are in the open. By now, everyone knows that Andre has a dhampir daughter. Everyone knows that she is part of my family, but they hide their dhampir children or ignore their existence. Why not bare their secrets to the world?"

Andre steepled his fingers and rested them against his lips in thought. "You want to use my daughter as a pawn to advance political issues?"

There was something bitter in the smile that flickered across Eric's face. "The cost of being royal is that everything we do or say is political. Everything done by our family matters, especially because there are so few of us. We are all either the pawns or the players in the game of politics. Right now, all the other families act as if we are lesser because our faults are so public."

"Sounds familiar," Tasha muttered.

Lauren looked at Tasha and Eric. "You're right. The royals love hiding behind their masks. They love pretending that they've done no wrong and are ready to pounce when someone else falters." Andre reached for one of her hands and clasped it. "We can do this. It wouldn't be hard to find a hundred dhampirs who have a royal parent and are willing to be displayed at court. The dhampirs want change. They want a voice in our world."

"They want to live their lives," Lissa added. She had been listening silently, her emotions too strong and mixed to know what thoughts to voice. "They give up too much for us."

Tasha looked at Lissa, soft understanding in her expression. "We can find a way to change that too. Your father's idea is a good one. It might make our people think and reflect for once in their lives."

They talked for a little while longer, laying out a plan for finding and reaching out to dhampirs with royal parents. Each of them had a slightly different circle of contacts, which would help broaden their search. They would have to use the slowly growing DNA databank to verify family line for some people and finding willing dhampirs might prove challenging, but they all thought that there was some merit to this idea.

Everyone in the room wanted to protect their people — Moroi and dhampir alike. To protect their people, they first needed the ruling class to accept that they were one people, not two. If that was possible, anything was possible.

* * *

Kendra Grant stood beside the door to the estate of a monster. He had told her to call him Ivan, so she did. He terrified her. Working for him kept her alive, so she had signed a contract to work for him for the next ten years. When her contract was up, she would become a monster too.

She didn't even know if she wanted to be a blood-sucking creature of the night. She had sort of stumbled into this mess. The monster holding the lease on her life knew where she lived. He had offered her the choice between immediate death or contracted work. She wasn't ready to die yet, for whatever reason.

It wasn't like Kendra had much to live for other than a decent career at the local hospital. She wasn't a doctor or nurse. No, that would mean better pay. She was a medical assistant. She did menial tasks that no one congratulated her for, but they would certainly blame her if stuff went wrong.

She lived in a small apartment — overpriced, like all apartments anymore — with her cat. She had family, but talking to them was a nightmare. She preferred the company of her friends at the local bar, which was where she had met Ivan.

She kept running it through in her mind, figuring out what went wrong. She had wanted a quick night of fun. A cute stranger was probably a bad idea, but something had drawn her to him. She should have noticed that he seemed too pale, too shrewd, but she hadn't. She had just noticed his lean build, expensive clothes, unusual smile, silken voice, and the convertible he drove.

They had talked about many things, including her job. Then they had gone for a drive, and her life was his. He had bitten her that night and a few times since. The high of it was heaven, and it was hell. She wanted it more than anything else. It was hard to think straight without it.

He had her hooked. He was her damnation. He was her purpose for existing. She would do anything for him, all for one more bite. She hated herself for being a slave to this monster, but she knew that she would never tell him no.

Kendra hesitated another moment before heading inside. She walked up the staircase and down the long hall to Ivan's study. The carpet was plush, blocking out all sound. She was a quiet mouse in the monster's lair.

"Come in," Ivan said when she neared.

Ivan was standing behind his desk when she entered. She also noticed another person — human? — sitting in front of the desk. He was near her age, mid-twenties, with a tall mohawk.

Ivan met Kendra's eyes, which she quickly averted. "Sit, Miss Grant. I have much to tell both of you. This is Thomas Faraday, he is another human I contracted. Thomas, this is Kendra Grant. I have a job for both of you."

Kendra took a seat.

Ivan continued talking. He paced as he talked. "Thomas has been feeding me information on several people I once knew. I would like to bring one of them to me, to have a discussion."

Somehow, Kendra knew that a discussion wasn't the real reason. She tried not to shudder. Help him or die, that was her choice. Plus, how would she get a bite without him? She was hooked.

"I'll need both of you to help. The rewards for your information and cooperation will be great."

Kendra and Thomas both made sounds of acknowledgement.

Ivan then explained who and what his targets were. He explained the customs of his former race. He explained that he had been able to discover an itinerary for some of these individuals as well.

Then he outlined a plan of attack. The monster was hoping to catch a cat. He planned to use his mice as lures.

It would be tricky and would take quite a bit of stalking, but Kendra knew they could do it.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thanks for reading! See you again soon!_


	34. Finding

Rose tipped over David's king. "I win again," she taunted in a sing-song voice.

"I'm going to stop playing chess with you, heartbreaker," he grumbled.

"No, you won't."

"Try Monopoly," Eddie teased. He was sitting nearby, reading while they played chess.

Medha took the seat beside Eddie, popping chips into her mouth from a bag. She talked around the mouthful of chips as she replied, "Not Monopoly."

"Pretty sure I beat you at that," Rose said, looking at Eddie.

"You cheat by stealing from the bank," he retorted.

"I haven't done that since I was ten!" Rose exclaimed in her defense.

David smirked at her as he reset the chess pieces. "You knew not to steal at ten."

Eddie snorted, earning a glare from Rose.

"I feel like I'm missing a story," Medha said.

"Rose was always in trouble at school," Eddie replied.

"She broke another girl's arm one year," said David. "She also had a tendency to 'borrow' stuff from around campus."

Rose stood, picking up her empty soda cans and paper plate. "You make it sound like I was a budding juvenile delinquent. I just had a temper and a semi-questionable sense of right and wrong."

"Has she reformed?" Medha teased as she ate another chip.

Rose said yes. David said no. Eddie just laughed.

Rose shook her head. "Well, on that note, it's time for me to sleep. I'm back on in nine hours."

Rose left the room to a trio of "good night"s.

She threw out her trash in the bin in the adjacent kitchen. Afterward, she decided to take a quick detour outside. It was the end of July, and they were at Lauren Voda's house near London. It was the last stop on Lissa's brief tour of royal parties in Europe.

After spending Lissa's birthday with family and friends at the Dragomir's house on Long Island, they had all gone off in different directions. Lissa's parents had returned to Court. Jill left to see some of her mother's family. Tasha and Dimitri had gone back to Minneapolis for a time, leaving Svetlana at Court to continue her work. Abe also left Court, saying goodbye to Rose before she had gone to New York with the others. He promised to let everyone know as soon as he had a lead on Robert Doru.

Lissa and Andre had gone on separate circuits of royal parties around the world. Christian had accompanied Lissa and Lauren had accompanied Andre. The two Dragomirs were welcomed everywhere, and they were liked by everyone they met. Christian was treated politely, though he was not as welcome as Lissa.

Everywhere the two couples went, they found ways to discuss political issues. It was easy for Christian and Lissa to discuss their perspectives on Moroi self-defense — they had both played pivotal roles in the attack on St. Vladimir's. Some royals listened attentively to the points they were making, while others seemed annoyed by the idea of changing their culture. Still, there were always a few who agreed and wanted to do more to change their society for the better.

Before leaving a city or region, they would make visits to the local dhampir communities. It was a strange experience for Lissa, Christian, Eddie, and Rose. Eddie had lived in a dhampir community, though it was blended with the humans in that city. The same was true of Mason and his mother. Rose had visited both Eddie and Mason's homes, but the feeling of the non-integrated dhampir communities was very different from those towns.

The dhampirs in the non-integrated communities were mostly women and very young children. There were some exceptions. Sometimes dhampir men lived there, ones who had not passed the requirements to become guardians, or didn't want to be guardians, or had quit the guardians. Sometimes poor Moroi families also lived in the communities.

Lissa's group was always greeted with polite curiosity. It was unusual for a royal Moroi woman to visit the communities. It was unusual for a Moroi man to visit with pure intentions. And it was unusual for dhampirs to visit communities where they had no relatives.

When Lissa and her group explained that they were interested in meeting dhampirs with royal heritage, the reactions were mixed. Some were willing to talk about their experiences. Some were suspicious but opened up after talking for a while. Others refused to speak or were angry.

By the time they met up again at Lauren's house, Lissa's group and Andre's group had managed to get fifty dhampirs who could provide proof of being related to one of the royal families. Lauren thought that they still needed more, but if all fifty of their volunteers came back with DNA confirmation of their claims, it was a strong start.

Rose hadn't told anyone yet, but Dimitri was considering doing it as well. He knew that his father was royal, but Dimitri had no interest in knowing more. He didn't want to know which family his father was from. Even so, he told Rose that he would think about it. He thought that this plan to show the royals their forgotten children might force some to rethink their perspectives. He had promised to give Rose an answer when they met up in person.

Rose did a quick walk around the perimeter outside the house. She passed James, one of Lauren's guardians, as she walked. Rose didn't have to do the walk, but she felt as if it was necessary. After the Badica house in December, even daylight felt unsafe. Lauren's house was warded, but the Badica house had been too. So, Rose always checked for herself that a residence was safe before she slept.

Rose went back inside and made her way to the room set aside for her and Medha. It was a nice room. Unlike some of the houses they had stayed at in the past few weeks, Lauren's accommodations for them were small but cozy. Some Moroi homes had very spartan rooms with bunk beds for the guardians.

The room held two single beds, a wardrobe, and two small bedside tables. The walls were painted light purple and the carpet was a dark plum color. Paintings of seascapes hung on the walls, and the lamps were a pair of pearl white mermaids.

"Who puts sea themed stuff in a purple room?" Rose muttered under her breath each time she entered the room. She knew that the answer was Lauren, but she couldn't fathom the choice.

Rose had learned that Lauren was an adept jewelry designer. Her pieces were exquisite and delicate. Her house, on the other hand, was haphazardly decorated. It was a strange contrast for her to be so good at designing one thing and so terrible at designing another thing.

There was also a window in the room. It had a blackout curtain to keep it dark, though the glass itself wasn't darkened as was common in most Moroi homes.

Rose looked out the window, eyes taking in the countryside. She missed the sights of home. England didn't look like home. Home was pine forest and treeless mountains where snow never melted off the peaks. She missed home, but the school would never be her home again.

Rose closed the curtain and got ready for sleep. Curled in her bed, she messaged Dimitri to see if he was available to talk. She knew that he and Tasha were back in Minneapolis right now while Christian was with Lissa. They were set to return to Court shortly. Svetlana had remained at Court, working on the research Tasha wanted. Rose understood how important it all was now. Knowing why Moroi laws and traditions had come to be might be the key to reversing them.

Dimitri called her a short time later, and they talked for an hour before Rose went to sleep. This had become their routine while Rose travelled. She missed being close to him but knew that it wouldn't be for long. She wondered how long they could make this last. How long would they want to come and go from each other's life for weeks at a time?

She understood now why Dimitri had wanted to avoid being in a relationship. It was hard work to keep coming and going from the life of the person you love. And there was no end for this coming and going, which was an exhausting thought in and of itself.

She cursed her traitorous thoughts. She was a guardian. She had decided that this was what she wanted to do and to be. She couldn't abandon this life or Lissa. She knew that Dimitri wouldn't either.

Plus, right now too many things were happening to consider leaving. They were still planning to find a way to restore Ivan. Lissa's family and a few allies were working on finding ways to improve their culture. And Rose wanted to be part of that, even if it was hard to be separated from Dimitri for weeks or longer at a time.

When she woke, Rose showered. She was supposed to relieve Eddie soon, but schedules were more flexible at private homes than anywhere else. There were no pressing engagements or anything else to worry about here, not with the wards and an excessive number of guardians.

Between Lauren, Andre, Christian, and Lissa there were seven guardians on the modest property. As unmarried royals who had school, business, and travel plans outside of their families, the four Moroi could have this large number of guardians. However, if the couples married or remained in a secured place like Court on a permanent basis, their allotted guardians would decrease.

Rose dressed, then went to find Eddie to relieve him.

Eddie was in the living room with Christian and Elliot, Lauren's other guardian. They looked up when Rose entered, saying their hellos. She took a seat near them, listening as they talked.

They were discussing fighting, which wasn't a surprise. Rose knew how interested Eddie and Christian were in Moroi learning to fight offensively and defensively. They were a good match as guardian and Moroi. Rose was glad to have Eddie with them.

Elliot, it seemed, also liked the idea of Moroi fighting and defending. It seemed that Lauren's guardians were also of a progressive mindset, as was Lauren herself. It made the time they spent together fun and interesting.

They spent most of that day lounging around the house. Christian cooked for everyone, which he enjoyed, and everyone loved. The guardians switched off on patrolling the grounds but remained relaxed when inside. They went running together except for Lissa, who remained with Medha at the house while the others made a circuit along the roads near the house.

Two days later, they flew back to the United States. They spent the night back at Andre's apartment in Philadelphia so that they could visit a nearby dhampir settlement the following day before heading back to Court. The apartment was small, so the guardians ended up taking over the living room.

Rose was excited to return to Court. Dimitri would be there, and she missed him. She couldn't wait to see him again.

Of course, after arriving, Rose learned that Dimitri was on duty for the next five hours. So, Rose could do little but wait with impatience. After putting her stuff in her room and sorting her dirty clothes into a pile to wash, Rose went to the Guardians' building. She checked in and checked the schedules to see who was at Court. Rose knew that she and her partners wouldn't be scheduled for anything since they were planning to leave again in a few days.

Rose was on her way out of the building when she ran into Katrina. They greeted one another with hugs.

"How was Europe?" Kat asked.

"It was fun," Rose answered quickly. Seeing Katrina's skepticism, she continued. "Really, it was. Sure, I had some boring wall watching days, but most of it was pretty interesting. We did some sightseeing. We visited a ton of people."

"You didn't mind the bunk beds?" Kat teased.

Rose rolled her eyes. A few of the larger Moroi estates had small rooms with bunk beds set aside for the guardians. "Um, that did suck. How were things here?"

"Mostly good. I'm not panicking while out of wards with Mia, which is the first step."

"That's good."

"Yeah," Katrina agreed shakily. "It's still not easy, but we're trying. Neither of us are brave enough to go out with the children yet. So, they're safe here."

"That's understandable. Were you okay with Andre being gone for a month?"

Katrina shrugged. They took a few steps away from the building so that they stood just off the path. "I understand how life is for us. I know that Andre loves Violet and that he'll be there for her. I certainly don't expect or want him to take an infant on a trip around the world. I also have no issues with him having a girlfriend, though I swear he better not have another kid any time soon."

Rose laughed. "I think Eric and Rhea would kill him."

"Or Mia," Kat said with a laugh.

"How is she doing with it?"

She sighed. "She's jealous and hurt any time Andre looks at another girl. She also doesn't like him having another woman around her son, so she's unhappy."

Rose frowned, uncertain what to say.

Katrina shrugged. "She'll get over him eventually. Or she'll drive us all crazy."

Rose laughed. "Hopefully she'll do the first and not the second."

Grinning, Kat slipped her arm through Rose's and began walking with her away from the building. "Want to go grab dessert?"

"Yes," Rose said.

"Can I crash your dessert date?" Medha asked from behind them.

"Of course, partner," Rose said as Katrina nodded.

The three began to walk together toward a cluster of restaurants.

"What do you want to get?" Katrina asked.

"Pie," said Rose.

Medha shrugged. "That sounds good to me."

They soon entered one of the bakeries and each ordered a slice of pie. When they were all settled, they ate and talked.

Katrina turned to Medha. "So, how is Rose as a partner?"

"She's good. Eddie is good too. Of course, being the top graduates from their academy this year, it was expected."

Rose rolled her eyes. "It's not like we had to fight anything."

"True, but you did have a lot of adjusting to do. I could see that it was difficult for you and Lissa to adapt to your roles. Even so, you all did very well in your first tour of royal parties and political discussions."

Rose smiled a little. "You were a lot of help."

"That's my job as your partner," Medha said.

"True, though you're a remarkably closed book. We slept in the same room for a month and I still know nothing about your family or if you ever date."

Katrina laughed. "She doesn't date."

Rose looked from Kat to Medha. "Really?"

Medha tapped her fork against her plate. With a sigh, she looked at Rose. "It doesn't interest me."

Rose looked at her partner in confusion. "Dating in general or relationships?"

She shrugged. "All of it. I've never understood why people are so obsessed with romance. I understand that most people don't feel the way I do, but it's always seemed silly to me. I've never been interested in men or women or even the idea of romance or sex."

Rose stared for a moment before her mouth opened. "How?"

Medha rolled her eyes. "It's just how I am. And I'm perfectly content with who I am." She flashed a grin. "Besides, not being interested in relationships means that I don't spend so much time daydreaming about it."

"I don't do that!" Rose complained.

Katrina covered her smile with a hand. "You've checked your watch five times since we sat down."

"Really?" Rose didn't believe it.

"How long until Dimitri's shift ends?" Medha asked, teasing.

"Three more hours," Rose sighed. "It's been a month! And Lissa's going to start visiting colleges this week, so we'll only see each other for a couple days."

Katrina and Medha regarded her sympathetically. Being a guardian wasn't easy, and they all knew it.

After eating, Medha left. Rose and Katrina made their way back to the Dragomir's house. They soon settled into the family room with all the Dragomirs, David, Evan, Christian, and Lauren. Since there were so many people, a few of them took seats on the floor.

Jill told them about visiting her mother's family. They had spent a week in Florida along the Gulf Coast. Jill loved spending time by the ocean. It was fun for her as a water user and because she learned to surf.

Evan shared with them that, after much convincing, he would be returning to St. Vladimir's for the upcoming school year. He and Jill would be heading back in a few short weeks.

Lissa and Andre talked about the parties they had attended. They didn't talk about the project to find dhampirs with royal parents since it was mostly a secret. Eric and Rhea told them about dinners they had attended which sounded more tedious than what Lissa and Andre had endured.

Katrina, last of the group to share, told them about the latest developments in Violet's growth.

The time passed quickly, and the stories made Rose think of her own parents. Much as she loved spending time with this surrogate family, Rose also loved her mother. She even sort of liked her father.

When the stories were done, Rose slipped upstairs. She changed, ready to meet Dimitri. However, before she left to meet him, Rose wrote quick emails to her parents. She told them about Europe and guarding and the upcoming tour of schools for Lissa. She said I love you in the email to her mother, but not the one to her father. She didn't love him, not yet, but she might one day if they kept in touch.

Rose leapt up from her small corner desk when Dimitri texted her that he was off duty for the day. She tried not to sprint from the house in her excitement. Instead, she walked at a quick but determined pace.

Rose saw him as she neared the restaurant where they were meeting. He walked casually, like he had seen her yesterday instead of a month ago. Her pace quickened as she drew closer. His dark eyes watched her, and a smile lit up his face. She mirrored his smile, filled with delight.

This is love, she realized. She had been in love with Dimitri for months. She had been in a relationship with him for months. But this was the first time they had been apart and come back together without doubts and fears and pain. There was only love, and it was perfect. The feeling was deeper and stronger than she had ever known before. She knew that she would love him forever, no matter what.

They met, arms wrapping tightly around one another. She breathed in the scent of him and felt tension she didn't realize was in her slip away. She looked up, reaching a hand to touch his cheek. Her fingers brushed the faint stubble along his chin, sliding them into his hair as he bent to press his lips to hers. Warmth spread through her entire body as they kissed. She could tell that he was only going to kiss her briefly in greeting, but she made it last longer, pressing her body as close to him as possible.

Dimitri tightened his hold on her, kissing her for several long moments before he pulled back. He rested their foreheads together. "I missed you too," he said.

A soft laugh escaped her lips. "It always feels like forever when we're apart."

"I know." He reached between them, resting his fingers on the pendants she wore around her neck. "I'm always with you, even when we can't be together."

The sentiment made her heart skip a beat. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

She gave a reluctant sigh before disentangling herself from him. "Time for dinner?"

He chuckled, kissing her temple. "Yes. Then we can spend the rest of the day in my room if you want."

She linked her arm through his as they walked toward the restaurant. "I love that plan."

They didn't escape to his room right after dinner, instead they walked together and talked. Even when the conversation slowed, they enjoyed the quiet as they walked together.

They were on their way to the apartment Dimitri was sharing with Tasha when Rose came up with an idea. "We should get motorcycles."

"Motorcycles?" Amusement flavored the word.

"Yeah, they seem fun. We could keep them here and go riding when we are here and off shift."

"We could get one motorcycle that seats two," he suggested. "Then we could ride together."

She looked up at him, pulse quickening. She thought about holding onto him as they sped over the highways. She wouldn't mind that at all. "I like that idea too." She was a little breathless at the thought.

Their eyes met, desire sparking between them. He wrapped an arm around her waist, resting his fingers on her hip. Her thoughts derailed, focusing now on the heat of his body, amplified by the sultry heat of early August in Pennsylvania. Her focus became the touch of his fingers on her hip and memories of exactly what his fingers could do to her.

Their lips met, soft and slow. When the kiss ended, he brushed his lips along her neck, just below her ear. A shiver of pleasure ran through her.

"Is your roommate out?" she asked.

He chuckled in a way that let her know that he felt the same way she did. "She should be. If she's not, I think she'll leave when we show up."

Rose laughed as they started walking toward the apartments. "It's weird to have people in the same house and have sex."

"It's an adjustment."

"Yeah. Lissa and I are still figuring that out with travel." Rose paused. "That came out wrong."

Dimitri laughed. "I understand what you mean."

"It's so weird for her and Christian to share a room when the rest of us are in the next room. It's such a huge adjustment. It's like we all know way too much about each other."

"That's part of the life."

"Which not even you explained to me."

He grinned. "Some things you need to experience for yourself."

"Knowing everyone else's sex life was not an experience I really needed or wanted. The parties in the mansions were the worst. I know why guardians gossip so much now."

"Ah, you noticed the affairs?"

Rose made a face. "Yeah, I noticed. I see why everyone views the Dragomirs differently too. They are good. They have their faults, but they own them. So many of the royals are fake."

"I know." He brooded for a few moments. "I think I'll go along with this project of the Dragomirs. I know my father is a royal, and if I can help our people, then it's worth my discomfort."

Rose pressed herself closer to him in a half hug as they walked. "I'm glad. You're an amazing guardian. You deserve to be recognized by whatever family your father was from, even if he is worthless."

The apartment was empty when Rose and Dimitri entered. They made their way to his room, kissing as they closed the door. They lost themselves in one another. In ardent kisses and tender caresses. In tender words and breathless cries.

When they finished, Rose found herself curled against Dimitri. His chest was to her back. One of his arms was draped across her chest, and their legs were twined together. Her ear was at his chest, and she could hear the thundering beat of his heart.

"Your heart is racing," she said playfully.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "That's what you do to me."

A shiver of pleasure rolled through her, causing her body to twitch.

"I love listening to your heartbeat. It might be my favorite sound."

He pulled her closer, leaving no gaps between their bodies. "Every sound you make is my favorite."

She laughed. "Every sound?"

Chuckling, he kissed her cheek. "Most of them," he amended.

"I want to be like this forever." Rose spoke quietly, sadly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Roza…"

Him calling her that affectionate nickname while holding her was unfair. "I don't want to leave you for months at a time." She considered saying more but stopped and sighed.

Dimitri kissed her temple. "I know."

"It's not fair. I don't want to leave either of you."

Dimitri's arms tightened around her, pressing her close. His face was buried in her hair. "We will make this work, no matter what. I'm not giving up on us. I love you."

Rose laced their fingers together and squeezed. "I love you." She gave a short, bitter laugh. "I get why you didn't want us together in the first place. It's so hard to leave and return, and it doesn't end."

"That's why our friends are trying to change things for our people."

"I know."

Dimitri brushed aside her hair and kissed her neck, just below her ear. "And Tasha will often be around the Dragomirs. And Lissa will always be with Christian."

Rose turned onto her back so that she could look up at him. "If I didn't have the bond and all these projects everyone is working on, I'd run away with you."

They kissed softly, quickly.

"I don't doubt that," he said. He traced the curve of her cheek with a gentle finger. "Maybe we will one day."

"On our motorcycles."

"Definitely."

They kissed again, slow and passionate. Rose wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. They lost themselves again in one another, forgetting everything except the one they loved.

Later, still curled together on Dimitri's bed, they talked about upcoming trips. Rose mentioned the schools Lissa and Christian were planning to visit. Dimitri mentioned that Tasha was planning a trip to the nearby vineyards she had inherited from Ivan. Tasha had visited them briefly after inheriting them but had hired someone to manage most of the day to day affairs which Ivan had been responsible for.

"We could take time off to visit them alone," Dimitri said. "When you're twenty-one."

"That's not for two years." Rose laughed. "Can we go on a date in a country where I can legally drink?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Soon," he promised.

They talked more, until Rose stopped mid-sentence. She started giggling before looking at Dimitri.

"What did Lissa tell you?" he asked.

"Lissa said that she texted me, but I hadn't responded yet, so she decided to bother me. She didn't want to bother me because she knows I'm with you, so she's embarrassed. Anyway, her mom is making ice cream and cookies wanted me to know before everyone else in the family eats them and I get nothing. You're invited too."

Dimitri laughed. "Well, are you going to get dressed so that we can get some before everyone else eats it?"

Rose shoved his shoulder playfully. "You need to get dressed too."

When Rose and Dimitri arrived at the Dragomir's, everyone else was eating cookies and ice cream. They were all freshly made by Rhea, with the assistance of Lissa, Jill, and Christian. Rose and Dimitri took some and joined the rest of the large family circle in the kitchen.

Rose was still a bit overwhelmed by the size of the Dragomir family when it included dating partners and exes. Eric, Rhea, Andre, and Lissa had been Rose's family since she was little. Jill had come later. Next had come Andre's kids and their mothers. Now Andre had Lauren, and thankfully Mia was able to stand being in a room with them. Christian and Evan were also part of the family. Now, through Rose, Dimitri was welcome as family. There were the others in the room, too, the other guardians came and spent time with the family. Even Tasha and Adrian were invited to spend time with the family and enjoy the treats.

A few days later, Rose, Lissa, Christian, Eddie, and Medha left Court to tour local colleges and universities. They were looking at schools which were within a two-hour radius from Court. Of course, a two-hour radius included major cities like Philadelphia and New York, which Lissa's parents were firmly opposed to their daughter looking at for colleges.

Even excluding highly populated areas like Philadelphia and New York City, there were dozens of universities which Lissa wanted to see. Christian was looking at them for Lissa's sake, not because he had a strong interest in going to school again. They set up the itinerary in advance, planning to visit two campuses per day.

Medha, as the guardian with the most experience, always went. Rose and Eddie switched off during the day so that they could rest. The three guardians tried to schedule one off every eight hours.

Rose enjoyed the tours, and they were all having fun experiencing the freedom of being on their own. Every night they stayed at a different hotel, close to wherever their next tours would be. They could have returned to Court every night, but none of them wanted that. Lissa and Christian were ready to spend more time outside of their cocooned world, so were Rose and Eddie.

Rose would have liked to return to Dimitri every day, but it was impractical. The tour would only last for a week, then they would go back to Court for a few weeks. Then more college visits. After that, provided no leads emerged about Robert Doru, they would go off on another tour of royal parties.

There were many details to track as guardians. The safety of their group was foremost, but that was only part of the job. The car they drove needed to be well maintained and the gas tank be filled. Their sleeping, eating, and showering also needed to be scheduled. Moroi needed to visit feeders. Sleeping arrangements needed to be made, and something resembling privacy for the Moroi was also a consideration.

Rose and Eddie were learning these things, even more than they had during their field experience at school. Lissa and Christian were trying to become accustomed to the constant presence of their guardians. It was an awkward learning experience for them all.

They often had a multi room suite for the night. Lissa and Christian would share one bedroom. The guardian who was off duty would get the other bedroom, and the other two would remain in the living room area of the hotel room. The awake guardians often turned on the television to drown out potential noises from Lissa and Christian's room.

On the third day of the tour, they settled into their hotel at the end of the day. They were running on a human schedule to tour the universities. After so many time zone and human/vampire sleep schedule shifts, they were all a bit out of sorts with what was a normal time to be asleep.

Lissa, Christian, and Eddie were asleep. Rose and Medha were in the common room, watching television. Rose was restless. As much as she enjoyed being with friends, she wanted time alone.

Rose turned to Medha. "Hey, is it okay if I run out for a bit?"

"What do you want to do?"

"Honestly, I just want to be alone for a bit. I figure that I can get gas down the street and grab some snacks. It should only take twenty minutes."

Medha nodded. "Sure. Be careful. Carry your IDs, especially if you take your gun."

Rose rolled her eyes. "Yes, mom."

Medha laughed. "Your mother would remind you of these things."

"Yeah, she would," Rose agreed. "Don't worry. It's a short trip, and you all should be safe here."

"Just be sure to hurry back."

"Yeah, of course."

Rose hopped up from the couch. She was wearing her stake, but not the gun assigned to her. She decided against the gun, thinking that it was overkill for a trip down the street to a gas station. She grabbed her wallet, phone, the car keys, and a room key before heading out.

She already felt a bit of tension leave as she walked down the hallway. She didn't realize how much she liked solitude until she had none. This brief break seemed perfect.

Rose went down the elevator and headed out to the parking lot. The August night was warm and humid. It was the sort of night for tank tops and shorts, but Rose wore jeans and a tee shirt. The jeans concealed her stake, which was important.

Rose hopped in their SUV and turned the music up. She sat like that for a few minutes, enjoying the vibrations of the song as it poured out of the car's speakers. She texted Dimitri 'I love you', not expecting a response while he was on duty. Then she headed over to the gas station.

Filling up the tank only took a couple minutes. Rose wasn't ready to return yet, so she parked the car in the side lot and went inside the station's convenience store to buy food. Rose had discovered recently that some of the gas stations in Pennsylvania had convenience stores that also had really good food. The gas station was called Wawa. It was a chain of stores. And Rose was in love with it.

Rose bought several snacks and drinks, some for her and some for her friends and partner. She brought them out to the car, intending to spend a bit more time loitering in the parking lot.

A woman's voice derailed Rose's plan. "Hey, um, can you help me?"

Rose looked toward the woman. She seemed distressed, running the fingers on one hand through her hair. She was holding a cracked phone in the other hand.

"Um, what do you need?"

The woman's eyes darted around. "Do you know how to change a tire? I thought mine just needed air, but there's a nail in it. I have a spare but can't do it myself. I'd go in and ask, but my ex is working, and I don't want to deal with that. And I dropped my phone and it broke." She spoke everything in a rush, eyes starting to well with tears.

Rose looked at her bags and drink. She sighed internally, knowing that helping this human woman was the right thing to do.

"Yeah, I can help. I just need to put my stuff in my car."

The woman gave her a half-hearted smile. "Thank you."

Rose nodded, sipped her hot chocolate, and walked to her SUV. The woman followed Rose, which Rose found odd but not alarming. After all, Rose wasn't worried about humans, especially a weak woman who looked like she wanted to go home.

Rose opened the door to put her purchases inside when the first prickle of hesitation popped up in her mind. The woman was right behind her, and something else felt off, though Rose couldn't say what.

Rose was putting her stuff on the seat when she felt a prick of pain in her side, like a needle. Rose spun to face the woman, grabbing her wrist. The woman was holding an empty syringe, finger still on the plunger.

"What did you do?" Rose hissed. She squeezed hard on the woman's wrist, until she cried out and dropped the syringe.

"I had to!" she cried out.

Rose pushed the woman against the SUV. "Who are you? What did you do?"

"K-Kendra. I-I'm sorry." Tears started to fall down the human woman's cheeks. She couldn't have been much older than Rose.

Rose shook Kendra. "Sorry?" Then Rose saw the marks along Kendra's neck. Small scars from fangs marked the woman. Fear shot through Rose. "You work for a Strigoi?"

Kendra nodded, trembling.

Rose turned at the sound of footsteps. A man with a green mohawk stood by the rear of the SUV. He made a small motion with his hand and pointed a gun at her.

A van was parked next to Rose. She was trapped with her door open, and she knew it. The van hadn't been there when she went into the store. They had set her up.

"Our boss wants you to come with us."

Rose could fight a lot of things, but she couldn't fight a gun. Or could she try to shove the girl at the guy and get into her SUV?

That's when Rose saw the other thing she had missed — there was a flat tire on her car. She could still escape with it, but she'd quickly have issues, and she couldn't go back to the hotel. She had to keep Lissa and Christian safe.

And whatever she had been injected with was starting to work. Her thinking was muddled.

Rose throttled Kendra again before shoving her at the man. Slamming her door shut, Rose did the only thing she could think of — she ran.

She didn't think it through. There was room in her mind for thought. She wanted to get away. She didn't want to involve more humans. So, Rose dashed across the street.

Her movements were starting to slow and grow clumsy. Whatever had been in the syringe had been strong. A sedative? A tranquilizer?

She was being pursued by one human on foot.

The other has their car, Rose thought.

Rose stumbled.

Her mind was clouding. Her body was refusing to work.

Someone tackled her.

Rose tried to fight, but her body wasn't cooperating.

"No!" she spat. She tried for angry, but the word came out slurred.

The man with the mohawk struggled with her until her body succumbed to the drugs, and she could do nothing. Kendra drove up with the van a minute later. They tied Rose's hands and feet. Kendra injected Rose again, and Rose went limp.

They dumped Rose's wallet and phone on the ground before loading her into the back of their van.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thanks for reading! See you again soon!_


	35. Sever

**Notes:**

 _Please don't hate me for what you're about to read._

* * *

When Rose didn't return in half an hour, Medha woke Eddie. When Rose didn't answer her phone, Medha called for backup. An hour later, a guardian called back with bad news.

The SUV had been found with the keys and food from the gas station inside. The door was unlocked. The tires had been slashed. A hypodermic needle was found on the ground by the driver's door. Rose was nowhere to be seen.

More backup was called to canvas the area.

Two hours after Medha's initial call, Rose's phone and wallet were found.

Rose was gone.

With trembling hands, Medha closed her phone. She looked at Eddie, who was pacing the room. The conversation had been on speakerphone; he had heard everything.

"This can't be happening," he said.

Medha's response was formal and detached. She had to remain calm. "We have to get Lissa and Christian up. We'll leave as soon as backup arrives with a car. They'll pack our belongings later."

"But Rose—"

"Rose is gone." Her voice wavered. "We have no idea who took her or if they know where we are. The first priority is keeping our Moroi safe."

Eddie closed his eyes, squared his shoulders, and drew a steadying breath. "Okay."

Medha walked to the door of Lissa and Christian's room. She tensed as she knocked, hard and loud, before opening the door. "Lissa, Christian, you have to get up. We need to leave shortly."

They both sat up quickly. Fear widened their sleepy eyes.

"What's going on," Christian asked.

Medha kept her tone neutral. "I'll explain when we're on our way. The two of you need to dress. Don't worry about packing."

Christian got out of bed. He wore shorts and nothing else. His black hair was tousled from sleep. "Are we in danger?"

"That's unclear," Medha replied.

Lissa was still sitting in the bed. Her long blonde hair was braided to keep it from tangling in her sleep. She was studying Medha and Eddie standing in the light of the doorway. "Rose?"

Lissa saw them flinch. She threw back the covers and stood. Her silky pink nightgown fell to mid-thigh. Eddie averted his eyes. Fear spiked through Lissa. "Where's Rose?"

Medha shook her head. "We don't know."

"What do you mean? How don't you know?" Lissa's throat felt tight. Where was Rose?

Christian went to Lissa, wrapping his arms around her.

"There's no time to explain," Medha replied. "We need to leave as soon as backup arrives. We aren't safe."

A cell phone rang in the next room. Eddie went to answer it. Medha followed him, closing the door.

Christian embraced Lissa, kissing her on the forehead before letting go. He quickly grabbed pants and a shirt from his bag and put them on. Lissa didn't move.

Christian went to Lissa's bag. He grabbed underwear for her and a dress to throw on over her nightgown. He pressed the clothes into her hands, and she dressed mechanically.

Christian grabbed their phones, his wallet, and Lissa's purse before putting on his sneakers. Lissa found sandals on her own, and they exited the bedroom.

A guardian Christian recognized as being a regular at Court met them at the door to the hotel room. The guardian walked ahead of them, leading them. Christian and Lissa followed. Medha and Eddie guarded them from behind.

The guardian escorted them to a waiting van. Lissa, Christian, and Eddie got in the back. Medha handed their room key to their escort before getting in the passenger seat. A different Court guardian drove them away from the hotel.

"What happened to Rose?" Lissa asked. Panic was in her words. Christian held her hand, trying to soothe her as best he could.

Medha explained everything she knew. She told them that almost three hours earlier, Rose had left to get gas down the street. Afterward, she had gone missing at the gas station, leaving everything behind.

Lissa listened in numb horror. How could Rose be missing? Lissa knew that Rose was still alive. She felt that she would know if the bond broke. Lissa asked questions for a while, but soon there were no more answers. They drove in silence.

Dawn broke as they approached Court. The bright rays of the day were a sharp contrast to the dark spirits of those in the van. They drove directly to the guardian's building. Medha left them to make a report. Lissa, Christian, and Eddie walked to the Dragomir's.

Rhea met them at the door. Her face was lined with worry. Lissa cracked as soon as she saw her mother. She ran into Rhea's arms and began to sob.

"I know, sweetheart," Rhea murmured as she stroked Lissa's head. "I know."

Rhea motioned for Christian and Eddie to come inside while she comforted Lissa. The guys walked to the living room where Eric was pacing. Lissa and Rhea joined them a minute later.

Lissa collapsed onto the couch beside Christian. He held her close as they waited.

Hours passed. The servants brought food and drinks, which mostly went untouched. Lissa and Christian both fell asleep on the sofa. Guardians came and went without any updates.

It was late afternoon when Lissa knew something changed. She had only been awake for an hour. The television was on, but she didn't hear it. She barely felt Christian's hand in hers. The sundering was a strange sensation, soft as a whisper. She felt as if part of herself was suddenly gone. She knew instinctively that Rose was dead.

Tears slipped silently down Lissa's cheeks. She wasn't ready to tell anyone. She wasn't ready to admit the truth, but she already knew that Rose was never coming back.

* * *

Rose's eyes opened blearily. She blinked slowly as she took in her surroundings. The room was very dimly lit by candles. "Candles?" she muttered, confused. Whatever she had been injected with was still clouding her mind. She felt nauseous, though if that was from the drugs or something else, she didn't know.

"I like the low light," a voice answered. A voice she recognized.

Rose's heart lurched in terror. No, no, this can't be happening.

When he stepped into her line of sight, she drew in a sharp breath. Ivan's face was death white. His expression was cold, and his eyes – red ringed eyes which should have been hazel. "I'm so glad to see you awake."

"Why am I here?" It felt stupid to ask, but it was the only thing Rose could think of saying.

He shrugged. "I was bored. I wanted to find someone to awaken — someone who will be an asset."

"I… what? No, you can't! I'd rather die than become a Strigoi!" She tried to quell her rising terror, but it was ratcheting up too quickly for her to remain calm. Ivan was in front of her. Ivan was talking about turning her.

He laughed. The sound was harsh and chilling. The nausea of being near a Strigoi increased.

"I had no choice, but now I know that this was my destiny. You'll come to see that I'm right. Afterward, we will awaken Dimitri. He will be useful."

"No, no, please Ivan…"

He walked to her. Grabbing her by the back of her hair, he forced her to look at him. "Stop begging. You look pathetic."

She glared. For a brief moment, anger overrode her terror.

"Better."

He moved quickly. His mouth went to her neck, fangs sinking into her. She cried out, but the pain was drowned in bliss, then nothingness.

Ivan licked the last drops of Rose's blood from her neck and his lips. He drew a knife from his pocket, cut the ropes binding her to the chair, and slashed his wrist. He put the injured hand to her lips and forced the fluid into her throat.

Her lips moved first, sucking greedily at his wrist. Her hands moved next, holding his hand in place as she drank. He felt her strength increase as she drew her life from him. Her eyes opened. Now ringed in red, they studied him as she pulled away.

"You bastard," she growled. She sprang onto him, clawing at him.

She was stronger and faster than him. He may have been a Strigoi longer, but she had been a guardian. She had him pinned in moments. Her hand reached for her stake.

She shrieked in pain as her hand touched the silver.

"You will find that gloves help." His voice was dry and mocking. He shifted out from under her. "You may be angry with me for awakening you, but you do need me to show you the ropes."

She glared at him, murder in her eyes. "Fine."

He stood, backing away. She removed her stake by covering her hand with her the hem of her shirt. She dropped it as soon as she could.

Crouching low, she surveyed the room. Details which had been hidden in the dim candle light were now crisp and clear. Her eyes traced the pattern of the wallpaper. Her fingers dug into the plush carpet beneath her. She breathed deep. The smoke of the candles and melted wax was heavy in the room. She could also smell her blood. Her mouth watered.

"I want to hunt."

His lips parted in a smile. "Later, the sun is still out."

"What do you do during daylight hours?"

"Come with me."

She stood, following him from the room. He led her down long, heavily curtained corridors. They eventually entered a spacious office. The furnishings and artwork were rich. He took a seat behind the large oak desk. She seated herself across from him in a plush leather chair.

"Where'd you get the house?"

"A human," he replied vaguely. "Power is strategic. We kill for food, of course, and for power. During the day we plan, and at night we hunt."

She nodded. "So, what do you plan?"

He told her the details of his sources of power, money, and influence. She listened attentively, though her heightened senses distracted her. She could hear water and electricity running through the walls of the house. She could hear a dog barking somewhere outside. She could hear birds singing as well.

"What happened to the one who awakened you?" she asked.

"He was killed in the caves outside of St. Vladimir's. That attack was a rare feat of cooperation. Sofia arranged it. There are some who hope to perform a similar feat later."

"Sofia?" Rose knew that name seemed familiar, but she couldn't place it.

"Sofia trained me. You'll meet her one day. She is the eldest Strigoi in North America, and I owe her my allegiance."

Rose stood, stretching. "Why do you owe her anything?"

Ivan also stood, not wanting Rose to have an advantage. "Because she is strong and wise and ruthless. She is also far more powerful than any other Strigoi you're likely to meet."

Rose considered that for a moment, sighing with resignation. "Then I suppose we won't attempt to overthrow her."

Ivan laughed harshly. "We would die very quickly if we tried. No, we work with her."

Rose walked around the room, studying it. "Why did she attack the school?"

"For prestige and to cull Strigoi. She was also in charge of the Strigoi you and your friends killed in Spokane. How are things in the Moroi world?"

"The attacks left the Moroi scared. They're trying to pass laws against the dhampirs. The idiots fail to realize that the dhampirs will just abandon them like they've been doing for years."

"You served them," he scoffed.

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him. "I served no one. I defended Lissa."

Ivan considered her carefully before bringing up an idea. "Some of the awakened wish to eliminate the royal lines. The Dragomir line would be the easiest to —"

"No! They are mine."

He was almost amused by her vehemence. "And what will you do with them?"

She softened, giving him her best smile. "Awaken them."

"Ambitious. How will you do that?"

"How did you find me?" she asked testily.

Ivan smirked. "I believe you met Thomas? He's the human with a mohawk."

Rose glared but nodded.

"He has a sister who is a feeder at Court. Did you know that they can have visitors?"

"No, I didn't."

"I didn't either, and I lived at Court for years. Anyway, I had them find out what various people were doing. They came across Lissa's itinerary, and my humans proceeded to stalk you. Their goal was to get any of you. I had no preference, though your partner would have been boring since I don't know her."

Ivan rested his hands on the desk, looking at Rose with a wide smile. "And they brought me you. You're quite a prize."

Rose considered punching Ivan but refrained. She was still too new to kill him. The humans though... "Can I eat them?"

"No," he laughed. "They're both too useful."

"Useful?" Rose was skeptical. How useful could a human be?

"They brought me you; didn't they?"

Rose let out a disgusted huff.

"Think about it Rose," Ivan chuckled. "Humans can work for us during the day. Thomas can get us information straight from Court. And Kendra can get us more tranquilizers to take down people we want to awaken."

Rose looked away, angry. She hated that humans had taken her. She wanted to kill them. She wanted to hunt.

"Besides which," Ivan continued. "It seems rather tedious to train new humans to perform necessary tasks. It's easier to keep a few trained and kill someone else."

Rose sighed and turned back. She couldn't disagree with that. "Fine. When can we hunt?"

"In a few hours." Ivan looked her up and down. "I'll call Kendra to drop off clothes for you. Those are rather disgusting."

Rose looked down at her clothes for the first time. Her jeans were dusty and torn. Her shirt was also covered in dirt and a few bloodstains. It was her own blood, she knew. She wrinkled her nose. "Agreed. Do I have a room?"

Ivan waved absently to the left. "Pick one. Most of the bedrooms have bathrooms. Not that you need sleep, but it can still be your own private space. I already installed light blocking curtains on the walls in every room."

"On the walls?"

"You'll see." With a wave of his hand, Ivan dismissed Rose.

She turned on her heel and walked out of the study. She walked down the hall, trying her best to stop her temper. Killing Ivan would not help her. She needed to know more. She needed a plan. Ivan was too useful to kill right now.

Rose opened the doors along the hallway as she walked. Most of the rooms were sparsely furnished bedrooms coated in dust. She flipped on lights occasionally and saw what Ivan meant. Dark curtains were stapled to the walls, blotting out the windows entirely. It was efficient, she thought.

Rose chose a room near the end of the hall, close to a staircase. It was a large room with dark wood paneling on the walls and a large bed with a red bedspread on it. The floor was the same dark wood as the walls. Off to one side was a bathroom. The bathroom black and white tile with silver fixtures.

Rose saw herself in the mirror and gasped. She hadn't expected a reflection. She had been told that Strigoi lacked reflections. Rose touched the mirror and her face, examining what she saw. The face was familiar and yet it was alien. Her skin was white, a few shades darker than Ivan's chalk complexion. Her eyes were still very dark, which almost hid the red ring around her irises. She opened her mouth, noticing her fangs.

She was also filthy. Rose found soap and a towel, then proceeded to clean herself. She cleaned blood and dirt from her face, neck, hands, and arms. Looking down at her dirt and blood stained clothes, she wrinkled her nose. She would have to wait for the new clothes to be totally clean.

Rose left the bathroom and saw Ivan standing at the door to her bedroom. She was about to snap at him when she saw that he was on the phone.

"I need your size," he said.

Rose told him her sizes, including the need for more shoes. She also told him that she needed a phone and laptop. Ivan relayed it all to Kendra.

When he got off the phone, he put it into a pocket. "Let me show you around. Shopping will take a while. Other than business matters, we have a lot of free time."

"You told me about the business. Do I get a job?"

Ivan shrugged. "Eventually."

They walked from the room. Ivan showed her a library, a living room with a gigantic television, and a gym. Rose knew that she would use all of them. Then they went back upstairs to a room beside the office. Ivan took out a key and unlocked the door.

"This is my own project," he said before opening the door. "Don't breathe a word about it to anyone."

Rose looked at him questioningly before following him inside. Rose took in the room. She saw all the maps, pictures, and notes tacked to the walls. She took it in, eyes scanning the words.

"What is this?" she asked.

"Knowledge. These are all the locations of Strigoi, Moroi, dhampirs, and alchemists that I know."

"And notes on all of them," she murmured. She lost herself in all the notes and maps. Memories of the past month flickered in her mind. She had visited multiple Moroi homes and dhampir communities. "I can add to it."

* * *

While waiting for her clothes to arrive, Rose tested her reflexes, speed, and strength. She was stronger and faster than she had ever been before. All her senses were enhanced as well. As she worked with weights and the treadmill in the gym, Rose began creating a list of things she wanted in her head. Among the things she wanted were throwing knives and gloves. Not that she had ever trained with throwing knives, but she could learn. She had all the time in the world now.

Rose also gave a lot of thought to the problem of Ivan. For now, their goals were aligned. However, she didn't trust him. She also knew that he didn't trust her. She was physically more powerful. He had more knowledge about the world of the Strigoi. She needed to keep him loyal to her. She had to keep his trust.

Later, she sifted through the clothes which had been left for her. Kendra hadn't entered the mansion, which was for the human's safety. The human had brought Rose an assortment of clothes. Most of the clothing was red or black, along with blue jeans.

Rose tried on everything before settling on a plain black tee shirt and black jeans. She even had new black sneakers to wear with it. Rose let her hair down, letting it fall in a thick curtain around her shoulders and upper back.

Rose and Ivan left the house at nightfall in a black Corvette. He drove recklessly fast down the highway. The top of the car was down. Rose delighted in the feeling of air whipping against her skin.

They stopped at a park. It was night, so few people were around. This would make killing easier to hide.

Ivan looked at her, a smile spreading across his face. "Now, we hunt."

They jumped out of the car and breathed deep. Humans were nearby, though not many. Rose could smell them in the air. She followed Ivan, moving as swift and silent as a breeze.

They found a pair of humans kissing on a bench. They moved quickly and silently toward the pair. Rose grabbed one, snapping the human's neck as it started to scream. Rose sank her fangs into hers while Ivan bit into the other. She was ravenous, scarcely tasting the blood at first. Eventually, she savored the flavor. The human tasted salty and sweet. It was exquisite, like a fine wine.

"Do they all taste the same?"

"No, they all taste a bit different. Try this one."

She bit into the other one and could taste subtle differences. "It's like wine."

He laughed. "I suppose so."

"And Moroi and dhampirs taste different from humans?"

"Yes. They taste better."

She grinned.

"Come on," he said. "We need to dispose of them."

"Do we?"

"If we dispose of the bodies, then it will take longer for anyone to know we are in the area. We are a bit over an hour from Court, which is too close to be careless. We also don't need to kill all of our food."

Rose snorted. "Where's the fun in that?"

Ivan sighed. Standing, he picked up one body by the arms and began dragging it toward a thicket of bushes. "Recklessness gets you killed."

"I'm not reckless," she protested. She followed him with the other body.

He laughed. "If you say so."

Rose glared at Ivan. "And you're so restrained?"

"I am. I learned restraint. Restraint keeps us alive. Use your mind. Think through the possibilities. Plan ahead."

"You are so full of yourself."

"I've kept myself alive for five months by being smart and by choosing the correct allies."

"Fine," Rose spat. "How do you choose the correct allies? You chose the humans. You chose me."

"I also chose Sofia." Ivan finished pushing the bodies into the thicket, hiding them out of sight. "She taught me everything I know. I'm using that now to build my own power. I want you to work with me on that. You saw the maps. You helped me with them."

"Yes, I saw and helped. What are you working toward?"

Ivan grinned. His lips were red with blood. "I want to attack Court."

"Seriously?" she laughed. "Is that even possible?"

He shrugged. "Sofia got through the wards of St. Vladimir's. With enough preparation, we can get through to Court. I want to awaken more of the people we know. I want us to be stronger."

She considered him thoughtfully. "How do you get the humans to work for you?"

"Humans? Easy, promise them eternal life. Or, in the case of Kendra, threaten her life. I also feed from her. She comes back for the bites."

An already half-forgotten memory of Ivan biting her flickered through Rose's mind. She knew that the endorphins had been bliss, but the memory was blurry. She supposed that was normal for a memory of dying. She had no memories of her first death either. A dark laugh escaped her lips.

Ivan looked at her, wary and curious. "What's so funny?"

"I've died twice. Once raised to mortality and now to immortality." She laughed again.

Ivan laughed with her, though it was a cold thing.

When the moment passed, Rose asked another question. "How do you choose Strigoi to be associates?"

"With caution. We are a rather treacherous race."

"But we need one another to accomplish greatness. Do we not?"

"We do, but allies must be chosen with care."

"And we kill them when they cause us trouble?"

"Of course."

They eyed one another. They would turn against one another one day, they could see it in each other's eyes. He was too wary of her. She was too reckless and independent.

Rose took a step closer to him. She gave him a smile when she saw his defenses rise. "We're allies," she purred. "No need to doubt me."

She had reached a conclusion about how to keep his trust. It was a tactical maneuver. She saw no other solution which would ensure his trust. She stepped nearer. He didn't move, though his eyes studied her. Slowly, she reached for him, one hand touching his arm.

"What are you trying to do?" His tone was more curious than worried.

"I wanted to show you how much I enjoy being awakened."

He allowed her to move closer. She ran one hand up his chest while the other continued up his arm. He bent to her, bringing his lips to hers. Their kissing quickly grew fierce. It was a battle of wills. He ran his hands through her hair. She dug her nails into his shoulders.

She pulled away when one of his hands went up her shirt. He tried to hold onto her again, but she evaded him. Anger flashed across his face.

"Later," she purred.

She hadn't known that such intimate relationships between Strigoi were possible until that moment. She needed him to believe in her loyalty, at least until they awakened Dimitri. Dimitri would then be her ally. He would be stronger than Ivan. Ivan had been a weak Moroi. Dimitri was a strong dhampir. His value was greater. For now, she would entertain herself and Ivan, assuring him of her loyalty in the way she thought best.

"I want to run now."

She took off, running faster than she ever had in life. She ran for miles, stopping atop the crest of a hill. She looked out at the lights of a town. Her eyes could see countless stars which she had never seen in life. It was all irrelevant to her now. She wanted to rule them all.

Ivan reached her a moment later. He placed his hands on her hips, drawing her against him. She allowed him to run one hand upward while the other travelled lower. She let him touch her. Though she was stronger, she allowed him a small amount of power over her. She relaxed into his touch, reveling in sensations which were more than she had ever known in life.

She shifted to face him. His hands moved so that she could turn. They kissed again.

There was no sweetness between them. There was fascination and desire. Above all was the desire to dominate. They were harsh with one another, each vying for control. Neither wanted the other to win. Eventually, she allowed him dominance. She lay on the ground and allowed him to think he had power. They kissed as he moved. Pleasure without passion, without love.

Satisfied with themselves, they pulled apart. They dressed and returned to the car.

On the drive back to the mansion, Rose began thinking. Her fingers touched the pendants she still wore around her neck. The silver heart didn't burn, since it wasn't enchanted, but it still felt wrong. It was part of another life. That Rose was dead. This Rose, however, devised a use for it.

Rose looked over at Ivan, a wicked smile on her lips as she told him her plan.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _I've never been so anxious about posting a chapter. Please believe me that there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. I'm just going to put the characters through the wringer first._

 _Regarding Ivan and Rose... it's not something either of them would have done as mortals. It's supposed to be uncomfortable and creepy._

 _Ages ago I mentioned that I had a few ideas that I wanted to incorporate into fanfics for this fandom. Rose being turned was one of those ideas. Back in the fall of 2017 I was chatting with another person in the fandom and we both wanted to write stories where Rose turns Strigoi, this was my result. I had a few other ideas for stories as well, which were incorporated into this story. The scenes between Rose and Ivan were written (though edited/revised by now) directly after I wrote chapter one._

 _The most interesting thing is that one dear commenter, debpreato, has made numerous comments throughout this story which pick up on the foreshadowing for almost everything. (which makes non-spoliery replies super difficult!)_

 _I hope you stick with me and don't hate me for turning Rose... and making her do a lot of things. Like I said, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. (And only around 17 chapters left!)_

 _Thank you for reading, following, and commenting! I'll see you again soon!_


	36. Desolation

Adrian Ivashkov watched as people moved in and out of the Dragomir's house. Everyone was trying to stay busy and useful, but there was nothing for anyone to do. Adrian didn't know why he was still in their house. It was midnight, less than twenty-four hours after Rose disappeared. He had tried dream walking to Rose and found nothing. He had called Sonya Karp. She had tried dream walking as well and also got nothing.

Adrian walked into the living room where Lissa sat alone on the sofa. She was staring straight ahead with a vacant expression. She held a cup of water between both hands. Adrian wondered why no one else was in here with how many people had been in and out all day.

As he looked at Lissa, Adrian brought up his aura vision. He sucked in a sharp breath as he studied her aura. It had changed. The pull of shadows away from her that he had always seen was gone.

Lissa met Adrian's eyes. She was focusing intently on him as if she knew he had been studying her aura. "It changed, didn't it?"

Adrian swallowed hard and walked toward her. "Yes." His mouth felt dry. "You knew?"

A soft sound escaped from her lips. "Since about four or so. I'm not ready to tell the others." She shook her head. "I can't. I was hoping I was wrong."

Adrian sat beside her and took one of her hands in his. She set her cup down on the coffee table. "I'm sorry."

"Her parents are coming." Lissa shook her head. "Dimitri is going out of his mind. I can't … I can't tell him. I can't say it at all."

Adrian squeezed her hand. "You don't have to. Not now."

Lissa closed her eyes and nodded.

They sat together for several minutes, saying nothing. Christian eventually entered the room. He gave Adrian a curious look as he approached.

"Liss," Christian said quietly.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. "Hey."

"Do you want to go to the feeders?"

Lissa thought for several moments. She didn't know the last time she had been to a feeder. She knew that she should eat, but everything was hard to do. "I should. I need to."

Adrian tugged on Lissa's hand as he stood. "Come on, Cousin."

Lissa stood numbly and was passed from Adrian's hand to Christian's. She barely noticed.

"We'll get through this," Christian said.

A tremor rocked through Lissa, but she kept herself together. Christian's reassuring hand was, for the moment, her only support. She knew that Christian had survived worse losses. She wanted to believe that she could survive losing Rose. However, in this moment, she wasn't certain how the world could keep going.

Lissa, Christian, and Adrian walked to the front door and left the house.

Adrian separated from Lissa and Christian. He didn't need to go to the feeders, and he needed to be alone. He was trying to process what he and Lissa knew — Rose was dead. She wasn't just missing. She was dead.

Adrian thought of Rose as he had last seen her, only a few days earlier. She had been eating a cookie that Rhea Dragomir had made. She had been smiling and laughing. She had spent most of the time side by side with Dimitri. She had talked to Adrian for a little while, asking him what he had been doing over the summer. He had told her some silly half-truth, and she had laughed. Adrian hoped that he could always remember that laugh. The sound of it had been full of such joy and vibrance.

Adrian remembered that he had briefly considered pursuing her romantically. However, he had quickly given up on the idea. From the day they met, Rose had been in love with someone else. Not that he was proud to admit it, but a girl being in love with someone else seldom stopped Adrian from pursuing. Rose had been an exception, mostly because she was too complicated.

He remembered the first time he saw her at the ski lodge in Idaho. She had been laughing then too. He had so many memories of her smile and laugh. She had been walking with one of Andre Dragomir's guardians. Andre's guardian was very fond of Rose, though she seemed utterly oblivious to that fact.

Adrian had quickly learned that she was in love with a different guardian — Dimitri Belikov. Adrian wasn't blind. It was obvious that the two wanted one another, and it had been obvious to Adrian when their relationship began. Adrian didn't try to interfere with them after his initial attempt by sending her roses.

He had only tried pursuing Rose when Dimitri left her after the attack, but she had rejected his every attempt. She had also spent a great deal of time with Mason Ashford then. And that was when Adrian decided that Rose was too much work to pursue. It was one thing to pursue a girl who is still stuck on the guy who left her. It's another matter entirely when she starts hanging out all the time with the guy before that. Adrian had decided that he only wanted Rose as a friend, and that was what she had become to him.

Thinking of the first time he met Rose turned Adrian's memories to Ivan Zeklos. Adrian had met Ivan the same night he met Rose. He missed Ivan. Ivan one of the few people who had ever bothered to be a friend to Adrian. Everyone in Adrian's family usually scolded or criticized him. Adrian's other friends usually indulged him. Ivan had encouraged him. Ivan had told Adrian to find his passion and follow it.

Adrian _had_ found his passion. He loved using spirit for good. He even enjoyed researching spirit. He also loved helping people. Of course, work with spirit didn't translate into actual job material, and Adrian still needed to do something with his life. It was another friend, Lauren Voda, who had encouraged him to pursue art again. Adrian was planning to return to art school again, though he hadn't told his friends yet. It hadn't seemed like the right time to talk about his decisions, not when there was so much else going on.

* * *

Rose paced impatiently. She wanted to start on her idea, but it was still too early. Ivan had liked the idea, but he wanted to plan. He wanted to do it in a neat, tidy manner.

Not that Rose was opposed to plans. She knew that planning was useful. She didn't want to be staked less than a day after being awakened. Her pride recoiled at the thought of such potential failure. However, she wanted to see results. She had always wanted to see results, even when mortal. Waiting had never been a strength Rose possessed.

It was near dawn when the human finally arrived. Rose waited with Ivan in his study for her to approach. Rose watched Kendra with cold rage, which transformed into dark delight at the human woman's expression of terror.

Kendra was staring at Rose. "You … you're like him now."

Rose grinned, just enough to show her fangs. The reaction of the human was to recoil toward the doorway in horror. Rose changed her mind about wanting to kill the woman. Destroying Kendra's mind would be far more pleasurable. After all, a conscience is a terrible thing to have when working for a Strigoi.

Ivan made a bored sound. "What else did you think I was going to do? I don't need you to stalk my food for me."

Rose took a step forward, laying a hand on Ivan's shoulder. She wondered if it soothed him or worried him. Either way worked in her favor. She looked at Kendra. "Thanks for the clothes. We have a job we need you to do. It should be easy for you." Rose glanced at the woman's wrist and noticed that it was wrapped in a cloth brace. "You won't have a guardian trying to break your wrist this time."

Kendra flinched.

Ivan motioned for her to step forward, which Kendra did slowly. He pushed a manila envelope toward her. "When I was mortal, I owned a vineyard nearby. We want you to go there and follow my instructions."

* * *

Tasha Ozera answered her phone without a thought. She had so many contacts that she usually just answered first and figured out who it was after greeting the caller. "Hello?"

"Tasha Ozera?"

"Yes, speaking." Tasha walked to the window of her Court apartment. It was nine in the morning, and she wanted to sleep.

The man on the other end of the line explained that he was the manager of the vineyard she owned. One of the vineyards Tasha and Christian had inherited upon Ivan's … death. It was also the one less than an hour from Court.

"A woman came in with a large envelope for you. She said it's on behalf of Rose Hathaway."

"What?" Ice ran through Tasha's veins. She turned, leaning against the wall for support. Rose had been missing for about thirty hours. "Are you certain she said it was on behalf of Rose Hathaway?"

"Yes. Is everything alright?"

No, nothing was alright. Pieces of a puzzle snapped into place in Tasha's mind. She wanted to scream. "Everything is fine." She was amazed at how calm she sounded.

"She said it was urgent and that it should be picked up in person quickly. It sounded suspicious."

"I know what it's regarding," Tasha said shortly.

She looked toward the short hall as Dimitri stepped from his room. He looked at her with concern, which morphed into worry as he took in her face. His own face was weary and distraught.

Tasha continued speaking, trying to maintain her calm. "I'll be there in about an hour to pick it up. Thank you for contacting me."

She closed the phone and stood rigid. Her entire body was shaking.

Dimitri walked toward her. "Tasha? What's going on?" He took hold of her arms, as if he was afraid she would collapse.

Something in her broke, and she spoke in a voice devoid of any emotion. It was safer to feel nothing at all. It was easier not to think. "We have to go to Ivan's vineyard. A woman left an envelope there for me … on behalf of Rose Hathaway."

Tasha grabbed hold of Dimitri's arms as he staggered.

"No." Dimitri shook his head. He held onto Tasha as she held onto him, keeping one another strong for this moment. "No."

"Rose doesn't know where the vineyard is." Tasha looked at Dimitri, shaking her head and not finishing the thought.

Dimitri let go of Tasha. He ran his hands across his face, fingernails raking his flesh. He paced the room once, twice. With a scream of fury, he slammed a fist into a wall. The plaster broke under the impact of his fist. He pressed his forehead to the wall, ranting in Russian. His words became broken and pleading by the end.

Tasha watched him, understanding all the emotions Dimitri was feeling. Still holding her phone, she twisted her engagement ring around her finger. Ivan was the one who took Rose. Tasha knew it. Dimitri knew it.

"We have to get the envelope," she said quietly when Dimitri went silent.

He swallowed hard, turning to look at her. He had scratches on his face, and his hand was swelling. "Yeah."

"We need to tell the guardians. They need to know this development, and there's video surveillance that can be used to find whoever dropped it off." She looked at his hand. "We should probably do something with your hand."

Dimitri finally looked at his hand. "I can wrap it."

"We can have Lissa heal it. I know you don't want to use spirit healing unnecessarily, but this is one time where you shouldn't go out there when you're injured."

Dimitri nodded. "I'll get changed."

Drawing a deep breath, Tasha gave a short nod of her head. She sent a text to Eric and Rhea, informing them that she had information to tell them. Then she also went to her room and changed.

Fifteen minutes later, Tasha and Dimitri were inside the Dragomir's house. Eric, Rhea, Christian, and Lissa were with them in the living room. As were two guardians who were working on the case of Rose's disappearance. Tasha relayed the phone call and its significance.

One of the guardians looked at Tasha as she finished. "You're certain this envelope, which still needs to be retrieved, is proof that Ivan Zeklos took Guardian Rose Hathaway?"

Tasha looked wearily at him. "Ivan left the vineyard to Christian and me. He knows where it is. She - Rose - doesn't. It's too much of a coincidence for me to believe anything else. Dimitri and I will be heading there shortly, though a guardian who is less involved is welcome to accompany us."

"Can I come?" Lissa asked quietly.

"No," Rhea replied softly. "It's for the best if you wait here. It's safer."

Lissa nodded, lifeless and exhausted. "Rose is dead." The words left her quietly and unbidden. She looked to Dimitri, startled by finally saying what she had known for hours.

Dimitri walked to Lissa. He had been standing, pacing. "Are you certain?"

She brushed away tears. "Yes. The bond… it's gone."

Christian squeezed Lissa's shoulder. "How long have you known? You didn't seem to be in pain."

She shook her head. "It didn't hurt. I just knew. I couldn't say it. I still can't, not really."

Lissa reached out to Dimitri. He placed his uninjured hand in hers. She squeezed his hand and let healing energy flow into him. She didn't let go, even when he was healed.

"I can't lose you, too," Lissa told him.

Dimitri held her gaze for a long moment and nodded. "I'll do my best." He squeezed her hand before letting go. "I promise."

Dimitri turned to the guardians. "Will one of you come, or will someone else?"

"We're both off duty soon," the one replied. "You know Guardian Volkov, right?"

"Yes," Dimitri said. "I know Ilya. Have him meet us at the cars."

The guardians agreed and soon left.

Tasha looked at the others who still sat in the room. Everyone was exhausted and grieving. "We'll let you know what's there as soon as we can."

* * *

Dimitri drove a bit too fast. It was the only thing keeping him sane. The feeling of the SUV roaring down the highway gave Dimitri a sense of detachment that he desperately needed.

His feelings, those he allowed himself to touch, were fury and hate and self-loathing. He felt that this was his fault. He should have been able to save Ivan. He should have dealt with Ivan before now instead of holding onto hope of a way to restore Ivan. Now Rose was gone — dead, and it was his fault.

They arrived at the vineyard over an hour after the call. Tasha, after briefly speaking to the manager, was shown to an office on the second floor. Dimitri and Ilya went with her, and the three were left alone.

The manila envelope sat ominously on a large desk. It had Tasha's name written on it and nothing else. Tasha made no move to touch it, so Dimitri reached for it. Tearing open the envelope, Dimitri looked inside.

Three more envelopes were inside, along with a cellphone. Dimitri took everything out, looking at the objects as though they were poisonous. Names were written on the envelopes: Tasha, Dimitri, and Lissa. Dimitri dropped most of it on the table, showing Tasha her letter. She made no move to touch it.

Dimitri held his. He could feel something solid inside the envelope. Everything inside him wanted to run from what was inside. Some part of him already knew what it was.

Opening the envelope, Dimitri found a folded sheet of paper and found the necklace Rose always wore. He held the pendants in a closed fist as he read the short letter scrawled in Rose's messy handwriting.

 _ **Dimitri,**_

 _ **We're assuming you'll read this first. I'm betting on it, in fact. By now you probably figured out that Ivan took me. He had a couple humans do it.**_

 _ **Then he awakened me.**_

Dimitri staggered. He crushed the letter in his hand and struggled to breathe. He stumbled into a chair, unable to remain standing. He forced himself to breathe for several minutes before continuing.

 _ **Surprise, right?**_

 _ **Immortality is better than reported. I know everyone goes on and on about the lack of a soul, but you really don't miss it. I don't anyway. Ivan doesn't either.**_

 _ **I gave you my necklace to prove it's me. You know they mean a lot to me. The heart from you and the nazar from my mom who got it from my dad.**_

 _ **Ivan wrote the letter to Tasha, but he thinks she'll rip it up and burn it.**_

 ** _The other letter is to Lissa. It's short and to the point. I assume you'll read it before her to "protect" her._**

 ** _Anyway, comrade, this is to you and to everyone else. One big, happy family I was part of. I want to play a game. I love games. That's why you have the phone. When you're ready to start playing, call me._**

 ** _But don't wait too long._**

 ** _See you soon,_**

 ** _Rose_**

Dimitri threw the letter and necklace down, swearing repeatedly in Russian. Then he picked up Lissa's letter and opened it.

 ** _Liss,_**

 ** _I wonder if you felt our bond break the way Dimitri felt his break with Ivan? I'll be certain to ask when I see you again._**

 ** _Ivan and I are working together. One day, you and the others will be awakened and join us too._**

 ** _Rose_**

Dimitri set down the letter, breathing hard to control his emotions. Tasha picked up her letter while Ilya picked up the other two.

Tasha scanned over her letter, trembling as she did. As predicted, she soon incinerated the sheet in her hands. Then she slumped into another chair and read the other two letters as tears glistened on her cheeks.

Dimitri couldn't cry. He had no tears left. In that moment, he wanted to rage against the world or drink himself into oblivion. Unable to do either, he focused on breathing to keep his emotions in check.

Ilya made several calls back to Court, planning to discuss what they had learned when they returned.

Dimitri didn't hear any of it. All Dimitri saw was the necklace on the desk. His world was broken. Nothing could fix it now.

* * *

Lissa sat in her family's living room. She had spent a lot of time in there over the past two days. There would finally be answers soon, though Lissa had a feeling that she already knew the worst.

Lissa sat beside her sister, which was a comfort. Christian was pacing nearby. The room was filling slowly, with some flitting in and out as they waited for Dimitri and Tasha to return. Andre, Lauren, Adrian, and Katrina were there. The family guardians all entered, taking standing positions around the room. Eddie came too, looking like he hadn't slept in days, which he probably hadn't.

When even more guardians arrived and asked Eric Dragomir to speak privately in another room, Lissa realized that something was very wrong. Lissa had been putting pieces together in her mind and knew that the worst had happened. She didn't yet want to believe it, but she was certain that Ivan had turned Rose.

Lissa stood, walking to the door her father had gone through. Her parents stood with a few Court guardians in the next room, talking in tense whispered voices. Lissa walked closer, realizing that they didn't notice her.

"The threat was against your entire family," one guardian was saying. "When they return, everyone will be read the letters. I'm sorry."

Rhea clasped Eric's hand, squeezing it for strength and support. "Did they give you any more details? Are they certain that Rose is … Rose is the threat?" Rhea could barely get the words out.

Lissa felt cold, numb, resigned. But she also felt resolved. If Rose was a Strigoi and not merely dead, then Lissa could restore her.

The guardian answered Rhea. "They said that there is proof in the letters. We'll know more when they arrive."

"Is Rose a Strigoi?" Lissa asked.

Lissa's parents startled at her voice. They turned to her, faces etched with worry, grief, and exhaustion. Their eyes were filled with tears.

Rhea took a step toward her. "Lissa…"

Lissa forced herself to look at the guardians, knowing that she would start crying again if she kept looking at her parents. "Is she?"

The guardian looked at her with kindness and sympathy. "Yes."

Lissa closed her eyes, drawing a breath to steel herself. "Thank you. Do you know when Dimitri and Tasha are going to be back?" If not, she could call.

"It shouldn't be long now," the guardian replied.

Lissa nodded. She looked at her parents, seeing them reaching for her. Part of her wanted to go to them and be wrapped safely in their arms, but if she did that, she would break, and she had to keep herself together. "I'm going to my room for a bit. I need to be alone."

Lissa heard them say something, but it didn't register. She walked upstairs and walked into Rose's room. Her eyes travelled across the room. Then she walked around, touching most of the objects.

Lissa sat on Rose's bed, a lifetime of memories flitting through her thoughts. Lissa had few memories from before meeting Rose. They had been best friends, practically sisters, from childhood. Lissa knew so much about Rose, and Rose had known Lissa in a way so deep and personal that it defied description.

Lissa tried to collect herself and her thoughts. She needed to think. She needed to keep herself strong.

She remembered their flight back to school in spring, after learning about Robert Doru. Rose had said that she never wanted to be a Strigoi, that she would rather die, but she would like to be restored if possible.

"I'll do it," Lissa whispered. "I'll find a way to restore you."

Calmness and peace surrounded her. Lissa was resolved. This wasn't the end. Rose wasn't gone; she was changed. Lissa believed there was a way to restore Strigoi. She just needed to know how.

Lissa lost herself in thought. Her mind went over everything she knew about spirit, healing, and Strigoi. She had understood the theory of restoration for months, but none of the spirit users had figured out how to put theory into practice. How does a spirit using Moroi with no training in combat get close enough to a Strigoi to heal them? How does the healing work? Would it be the same as a normal healing or was it more involved? Why was finding Robert Doru so difficult?

She couldn't have said how much time passed while she was thinking. Lissa came back to reality when she saw Jill in the doorway. Jill's eyes were red from the crying she had done, and her curly brown hair was a mess.

"Everyone's here," Jill said. "Mom sent me up to get you."

"Thanks. I'm surprised no one else came up."

"Christian tried, but dad told him that you need some time alone."

Lissa gave Jill a small smile as she walked to her. "Yeah, I did."

"How are you doing? I mean, I know that's a stupid question, but I…"

"I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

Lissa nodded slowly. "I was thinking about spirit and how it can be used. I'm trying to be forward-thinking. If I think about the worst, I'll break, and I can't do that. How are you holding up?"

"I've been better."

Lissa hugged Jill, and they went downstairs to join everyone else.

The living room was packed. Lissa and Jill squeezed in and sat beside Rhea. Lissa didn't know everyone in the room. There were at least a dozen guardians who weren't assigned to her family or friends. Christian, without a place to sit, stood behind Lissa. Eddie, Katrina, Medha, and the rest of the family guardians stood near each other on one side of the room. Andre sat near them, beside Lauren. Adrian sat next to her. Tasha and Dimitri were both standing within Lissa's line of sight, and both were looking away from everyone in the room. Tasha was mostly facing toward the hallway. Dimitri was looking out a window. To Lissa's surprise, both of Rose's parents had arrived. They sat together on the third couch. They both seemed grave, but composed. Lissa's heart ached for them.

Lissa glanced toward her own father, who stood near the group of Court guardians. He was in business mode, a Dragomir prince instead of a normal man. His bearing was formal and composed, though he was also hurting.

Soon, one of the guardians relayed the events of the past two days for everyone. He explained the scene at the gas station. He spoke about the syringes, indicating that Rose had been targeted for abduction. Then he tried to put the news delicately.

"The letters which were received today indicate that Guardian Rose Hathaway was taken by a known Strigoi. Many of you knew Ivan Zeklos, and the letters confirm that he was the one to take Rose." The guardian stopped, drawing a steadying breath. "The letters also indicate that he turned Rose into a Strigoi."

Beside Lissa, Jill let out a strangled sob. Lissa clasped her sister's hand, holding it tight. Lissa glanced toward Dimitri, but his gaze was locked outside the window. Tasha was also looking away. Christian put his hands on Lissa's shoulders, giving her warmth and strength. Lissa looked at the others in the room, seeing their pain and hearing their stifled cries. It grew worse as the letters were read.

"Before I read the letters, I want to warn you that they are not easy to hear. These two were written by Rose." The man glanced toward Tasha. "There was a third letter written by Ivan Zeklos, but that letter is gone."

"Gone?" someone asked.

Tasha turned toward the room. Her fingers twisted her ring. "It was written to me and contained nothing relevant to our present concerns. I burned it."

"What did my daughter say?" Janine asked. Her voice was flat and toneless.

The guardian read the letters.

Some people managed to remain completely in control of their emotions. Many were crying. Lissa felt calm. This was what she had prepared for. If Rose wanted to come after them, then Lissa knew that a confrontation when she knew how to restore Rose was possible.

"We believe that this is a direct threat against the Dragomirs," a different guardian said. "We want to discuss measures for your protection."

That didn't sound right to Lissa. "You're wrong."

Several people started, and all eyes turned toward Lissa, even Dimitri looked at her.

"Miss Dragomir…" the same guardian began.

Lissa cut him off. Her tone was crisp and commanding. "Lady Dragomir. I'm eighteen and a member of my family's council."

"My apologies, Lady Dragomir."

"And," Lissa continued, "you are wrong. The threat wasn't against myself and my family. Well, it is, but that's not the point. I know Rose. I've known her since we were seven years old. For her, family was something she made. My family adopted her as one of us, but she has others who she calls family."

Lissa looked at Rose's parents. They had both cried as the letters were read, even though they were trying to remain in control of their emotions. "She has her parents, but that's still not what she meant. Family, for Rose, was everyone she loved."

Lissa looked at Eddie, Medha, David, Katrina, Tasha, and Dimitri. "She threatened Dimitri in the letters. She threatened me and my family. And she threatened every single person she has ever considered a friend. How many friends has she made among the guardians? I know she was going to your parties for months. You can't possibly protect everyone. Someone told Ivan how to find us. Rose wasn't the only one in danger when she was taken. Myself, Christian, Eddie, and Medha were there too. Any or all of us could have been taken. We can't all stay within Court forever. And Rose wants us to come after her."

"She wouldn't be the first Strigoi to chase family," Christian muttered darkly.

Tasha's eyes snapped to Christian. She trembled, balling her hands into fists at her side to stay in control. "No," she agreed quietly. "She wouldn't be."

Eric let out a deep breath. "I thank you for your concern. For now, I think it is more appropriate for all of us to mourn and discuss these matters privately." He looked around the room. "I wish to speak with many of you, still."

With a few more words, Eric politely kicked out all the investigating guardians. The number remaining in the room was still large, but they were all people directly connected to Rose or the Dragomirs.

Janine looked at Dimitri. "Where is her necklace?"

Dimitri opened his hand, and the necklace dropped down so that it dangled from his fingers.

Janine nodded, stood, and swiftly left the room. It was such a sudden movement that everyone froze. Abe then stood and walked after her.

Uncomfortable silence lingered in the room. It was quiet enough that the sound of Janine vomiting in the nearby bathroom could be heard. Janine and Abe returned several minutes later and returned to their seats. No one had said anything in their absence.

"What game does Rose want to play?" Christian asked. "She gave a phone to call her, but what does that mean?"

Dimitri removed a cell phone from his pocket and placed it on the coffee table. "She said to call when we're ready, but not to wait too long. I don't know what she means by a game."

They were quiet for a few moments when David spoke up. "Chess."

"Chess," Eddie and Medha echoed.

"How do you know that?" Eric asked.

"Because she loves the strategy of it," Dimitri replied. "I watched them play a round once."

"Them?" Frank, the eldest of the Dragomir guardians, asked.

"Rose and Ivan," Dimitri clarified.

David spoke again. "Rose has a specific way of playing games. It might not have changed."

"What way is that?" Frank asked.

"She cheats," Eddie said. "And she toys with her opponent."

"And we're her opponents now," Medha said.

"But we can win," Lissa replied. She was certain of it, deep in her bones.

"How?" More than one person asked. Some seemed dubious of Lissa's mental state.

Lissa looked at Abe. "Find anything of Robert Doru, even a picture. You've been trying to find the man himself, but we've overlooked the obvious."

"What is the obvious?" Abe asked.

The ghost of a smile crossed her lips. Lissa looked at Adrian. "If you know his face, could you or Sonya reach him in dreams?"

"I can try," Adrian replied.

Lissa nodded. She looked at Dimitri, the faint smile fading. "Can you ask Brandon and Celeste if they can find Robert?"

Dimitri closed his eyes, muttering under his breath in Russian. When he looked at Lissa again, he seemed very weary. "Yes. I can ask."

"Lissa," Rhea said gently. "What are you intending to do?"

"I'm going to do what Rose and I said we would at graduation. I'm going to restore a Strigoi, two Strigoi now. I know everything about the theory of healing except the means used. Robert has that means. I believe he does. If Abe can't find Robert through normal methods, then we need to use spirit to our advantage. Rose knows about Robert and the potential for restoration. If I know her, she'll try to find him, too. We need to find him first."

Eric looked at his daughter with compassion. "Sweetheart, you know this may not work."

Pain throbbed in Lissa's chest at the thought of losing Rose forever. Her eyes filled with tears. "I won't give up until we've tried everything within our power. I'm not going to give up on her."

"We can't," Christian said. "She's going to come after us if we don't stop them first. This is our only hope."

"Does anyone want to call them tonight?" Eddie asked.

The room again fell uncomfortably silent.

"No," Abe said softly. "We all need rest. We can start on this tomorrow."

One by one, everyone else agreed. At nightfall, the start of the Moroi day, they would begin their plans.

* * *

Dimitri left quickly, not wanting to talk to anyone. He walked from the Dragomir's house to the main gate. After a brief conversation with the guardian at the gate, passed outside the wards. He walked a few yards down the road before he walked into the grass nearby.

Dimitri lowered his mental walls and let the ghosts emerge. The pale specters of the dead swarmed around him. He soon saw Brandon, Celeste, and Meredith. The sight was still difficult to bear.

"Rose is a… a Strigoi."

They nodded.

"She's working with Ivan."

They nodded again.

"I heard that Strigoi can be restored."

They stared at him, attentive but with no sign of acknowledgement.

"I need you to find a man named Robert Doru. He is the half-brother of Victor Dashkov. I don't care how you find him, but I need to know where he is. I'll ask again tonight."

Skeptical and solemn, the ghosts nodded again and left.

Dimitri shut off his ghost vision and walked back into the shelter of the wards.

He wished that he had Lissa's hope. He wished that he was stronger. But Dimitri was hurting and desolate. He still held Rose's necklace in his hand. The chain was looped on his wrist like a bracelet. He would have to take it off soon, but not tonight.

He walked to one of the bars and ordered a drink. Then another. Then another.

Dimitri usually didn't drink much. He didn't want to be like his father. And a guardian needed to stay alert, which drinking prevented.

But tonight, Dimitri wanted to forget the world, so he drank.

Somewhere in his drinking, Dimitri noticed a brownish-red color on parts of the necklace. Rose's blood was staining several segments of the chain.

Dimitri drank more to drown out that realization. And soon, Dimitri forgot everything.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thank you for reading, following, and commenting! I'll see you again soon!_


	37. Taunt

Dimitri woke up in bed. His head was throbbing. His mouth was dry. His bladder was protesting. He groaned, a sound that was painful to his hungover head.

He had no memory of going to bed. He opened his eyes and found the room dark. He didn't even know if this was his room.

The glow of a digital clock sliced through his mind. It was a bit after ten o'clock. He assumed that it was night from the lack of outside light, though all the windows at Court were darkened, so maybe he was wrong.

He pushed aside the covers slowly, grudgingly. He discovered that he was fully clothed, lacking his shoes and one sock. He found a bedside lamp and turned it on. He winced, cursing at the pain shooting through his eyes at the light. His head throbbed.

Dimitri discovered that his wallet, phone, and keys were on the bedside table. Glancing around, he saw his shoes on the floor. He also noticed his own bags, so he was in his own room. He had no idea how he had gotten to his room.

He took off the single sock before getting up. He smelled food when he passed through the hall to the bathroom. He assumed it was Tasha, though she seldom cooked.

A few minutes later, Dimitri made his way to the kitchen. He found Svetlana there, cooking. He was too hungover to question it.

She regarded him neutrally as she handed him a glass of juice and two white pills. He took them without question and sat at the nearby table to sip the juice.

His throat and stomach started to feel better as he drank. She filled his glass again when he finished. Then she put a bowl of warm kasha in front of him.

He ate and sipped until he felt functional. Then he looked at Svetlana and realized how strange this all was. "Thank you. Why are you here?"

She paused a moment before responding. "Someone had to stay with you in case you vomited in your sleep."

"Thank you." He kept looking at her. There was a longer answer, but she had sidestepped it entirely. "Where is Tasha?"

"Watching Seryozha."

Dimitri sighed in frustration. "Why is she there while you are here? I'm grateful for your help. I don't understand why."

She rested a hip against the kitchen counter. She seemed to be thinking of how to respond. "Do you remember anything of last night?"

"No," he admitted.

"It was late, and Tasha was concerned that you hadn't returned yet, so she asked several of us to help her find you. She was worried about you after… after everything. We brought you back here, and she asked if I would stay with you."

"Why did Tasha leave?"

Svetlana pressed her lips together in a thin line. "She needed space. Given everything that is going on, she didn't want to be the one to stay here. If you want to know more, ask her."

Dimitri pushed his food around with his spoon. He thought about the kasha, food from home. Sveta made it better than his own mother. He tried not to think about everything Svetlana had just said. He didn't want to remember what had happened to Rose.

"Thank you for staying with me and for cooking."

"You're welcome."

"I don't normally drink."

"I know."

"Was the bill paid?" Dimitri didn't even remember which bar he had gone to.

"Yes," she replied. "And you didn't make a fool of yourself at any point. Everyone knows what happened to Rose by now. No one could blame you for wanting to drink it away."

He said nothing, focusing instead on his food.

She broke the silence a while later. "I'm sorry for what happened. Rose was nice."

Dimitri's hands clenched. Rose was. "Is this my fault?"

Svetlana took a seat across from him. "Why do you think it is?"

"If I had found Ivan, then she would still be alive. Instead, I've been waiting for months to find a potential cure for being a Strigoi. I don't know if I believe it anymore. She would still be alive if I hadn't waited."

She was quiet, watching him for a while. "Would you feel the same if it had been another who did this?"

Dimitri thought before answering. "No."

"And is there a cure? A way to restore Strigoi?" She was amazed by the idea.

"I don't know." Dimitri ran a hand across his face and through his hair. He then explained to her everything he knew about this elusive miracle.

Svetlana listened with rapt attention. She let him fall into silence before forming a slow reply. "Do you think it's impossible now, after so many months of hoping?"

"I don't know. Ivan disappeared. I was bound to him. I feel like I owe him rest. I wanted to try to bring him back. Now… now, Rose is also a Strigoi, and she is threatening our lives. I don't know what to do."

She stood. Walking to him, she laid a comforting hand on his arm and squeezed. "Keep fighting for the best. Have faith."

He covered her hand with his and squeezed. "I'll try."

"I'll be here when you need me," she said quietly. She gave his hand a final squeeze before letting go. "For now, I think it's time for me to head home."

Dimitri finished eating shortly after she left. He slowly cleaned up the kitchen before returning to his room. He showered, dressed, then forced himself to do something useful.

Tasha returned to the apartment while Dimitri was getting dressed. She was seated on a couch in the living room area on her laptop when Dimitri emerged. He took a seat beside her and turned on his own laptop to check his email.

"Thank you for sending Sveta," Dimitri said.

"I'm sorry if it was awkward."

"It was fine."

"I can't support you through this," she said quietly. "I wish I could, but I can't. I'm sorry."

"I understand."

Tasha closed her eyes, heaving a heavy sigh as she tilted her head back. "You can't. I went through this once before. My brother…" Her voice broke. She swallowed hard, breathing slowly to regain her composure. "I have never forgotten what my brother did. Ivan knows that. He reminded me of it in his letter."

Silence lingered. Dimitri looked at Tasha. Her eyes were now open, staring at the ceiling as tears slowly slipped down her cheeks. He tried to remember if he had cried for Rose and didn't know.

Tasha turned, looking at Dimitri. "I want to quit. I want to stop looking for a cure. I want to leave all of this behind and never look back. I can't fight him. I'm not strong enough."

"Will you stop looking?" he asked quietly.

A sound, half-laugh and half-sob, escaped her lips. "I can't. Lissa won't give up, and Christian will follow her to the ends of the Earth. He is all I have. I would do anything for him. And we don't have a choice but to fight back. Rose and Ivan will come for us. He knows where I live. He knows where I work. Even if I give all of that up, he knows that I won't abandon Court politics entirely. I don't have a choice. We don't have a choice."

"I know."

They fell silent again, each working on their own business. Dimitri read through his email with disinterest. Most of the emails were guardian alerts about Strigoi attacks in various places. He read the ones about Rose's case, trying not to despair.

Further down the list was an email that caught his interest. Dimitri opened and read the email regarding his genetics. Dimitri had almost forgotten about agreeing to be part of Eric Dragomir's plot, which was to be expected in light of recent events. He stared at the results in shock. He had always known his father's first name, but not the surname. Even if Dimitri had known, he wouldn't have guessed where in the gigantic Ivashkov family tree Randall fell.

"Tasha." Dimitri's voice was strained. He didn't know how long he had stared at the email. He turned the laptop toward her. "It looks like I'll be a useful tool in one of your political schemes."

She read over the information, repeatedly glancing up at him. "Does Eric know yet?"

"He should. He's being copied on all the results for this project. It is his project."

"The queen's great nephew." Tasha did a double take. "Adrian is your cousin."

All Dimitri could think about that revelation was how much Rose would have laughed.

* * *

Lissa tapped her fingers on her water bottle. She wasn't sure what made her more anxious- being in a crowded room or the reason for the crowd. There were several guardians in the room who were strangers, all assigned to Rose's case. They were compressed into an interrogation room in the guardian's building. More people were on the other side of a one-way mirror.

Lissa knew why different people had been chosen for one side or the other. She and Dimitri were needed to speak directly with Rose. Christian sat beside her holding her hand. Her father and Rose's mother were in the main room as well. Eddie had chosen this side of the glass, too. Others were in the viewing area, including all the family guardians, Lissa's mom, and Rose's father.

The cell phone Rose had sent them was hooked up to a recording device on the center of the table. A guardian was in charge of handling the device. Everyone was to remain silent throughout the call except for Lissa, Dimitri, and Hans Croft, who was the head of the Court guardians. They didn't want Rose to know who was listening.

"Are you ready?" Hans asked.

Lissa looked at him, nodding. "As much as I can be."

Dimitri nodded as well but said nothing.

Eric took the other seat beside Lissa. "We've waited long enough."

"Do it," Janine said quietly.

With the press of a few buttons, the phone rang over speakers on the table. No one seemed to breathe as it rang once, twice. Then someone answered.

"Took you long enough," Rose said. Her voice was colder than anyone in the room expected.

Lissa drew in a sharp breath and squeezed Christian's hand. Across from Lissa, Dimitri and Janine both shut their eyes. They were both rigid in their seats.

Hans spoke first. "Miss Hathaway?"

"Who are you?" she spat back in annoyance.

"Guardian Hans Croft."

Rose made a low sound, perhaps a scoffing laugh. "Ah. Let me guess, you're in one of those interrogation rooms in the guardian building? A dozen guardians standing around and listening. Is Lissa there? I don't feel like talking to you."

Lissa swallowed, her mouth felt dry. "Yes, I'm here. What did you want to talk about?" She sounded robotic, which was probably better than sounding emotional.

"Lissa," Rose's voice came out as an excited purr. The tone of Rose's voice was wrong to Lissa's ears. "I have so much to tell you. First, you have to answer my question."

"What question? Oh, from your note. No, it didn't hurt for the bond to break, though I did know."

"Interesting. See how much we've learned about spirit? Even being a Strigoi, I think, is related to spirit. Which reminds me, I haven't told Ivan about our plans."

"Which plans?" Lissa asked.

"Healing. Robert. I assume you're still going to search. I'll even let you do it for a while. It's no fun playing a game without a challenge."

"Why did you want us to call?" Lissa asked, not bothering to acknowledge Rose's remarks.

Rose sighed. "You're so determined not to play. How many are listening, I wonder? So many fun possibilities. Dimitri is there. Aren't you, comrade?"

"Yes," Dimitri replied. His tone was flat and lifeless.

"Don't be so gloomy," she pouted. "We want you to join us one day. Think about how much fun it would be. You, me, Ivan, and anyone else we want can take on the world side by side."

Dimitri managed to keep himself calm as he replied. "You know that I would rather die than be turned. You felt the same way, once."

Rose laughed, a chilling sound. "I did feel that way once. It's not like I had a choice in becoming what I am now. But I enjoy it. I'm free for the first time in my life. I'm not bound to anything or anyone. I have no rules to govern me. You would love it. Everything is better now."

"Is this why you wanted us to call?" Lissa asked. "You want to extol the virtues of being a Strigoi?"

"No," Rose replied quickly. "I want to play a game with you. Ivan has friends who observe people. That's how I was found. To think, if they had done things a bit differently, they might have gotten more than just me."

"But they did take only you," Lissa said.

"Yes, annoying though it was. Anyway, Ivan's minions won't watch you for a bit. We have some things to do elsewhere for a while."

"You expect us to believe that?" Dimitri asked.

"Do you have so little trust in me, Comrade?"

Dimitri flinched. "You're a Strigoi."

Lissa could almost imagine the eyeroll which preceded Rose's snort of annoyance.

"You know so little about Strigoi." Rose sounded bored.

"So, why don't you enlighten us?" Dimitri said.

Rose laughed. "No, not yet. Do you want to say hello to Ivan?"

The sound quality changed, and another familiar voice came through the phone.

"Did they call?" Ivan asked, directed at Rose.

Rose answered him. "They're talking to us now. I thought you might want to say 'hi' to Lissa and Dimitri."

There was a pause before either spoke again. Beside Lissa, Christian had stiffened. Dimitri had put his face in his hands. Lissa had held back a gasp of shock at the sound of Ivan's voice. He sounded so familiar and yet so alien.

"Rose wants to play a game with you," Ivan said.

"Who does she want to play with?" Hans asked.

"That's Guardian Croft," Rose told Ivan. "I already said who I was going to play with. You haven't paid attention."

"Your threat was rather vague," Hans said.

"Was it?" Ivan asked.

"It was as specific as I wanted it to be," said Rose. "Two threats were explicit; the rest were implied."

"Implicit," Ivan muttered.

"Not a unique threat," Christian said, voice edged in anger.

Rose laughed. "I knew you would be there. How many others are lurking?"

Hans made a motion for everyone to remain silent.

"No matter," Rose continued when the silence lingered too long. "I know the threat isn't unique. I recall what you told Lissa about your parents. Ivan recalls what Tasha told him. They were rather unwise, your parents. There are so many ways of getting to a person when you want them. We have all the time in the world to wait."

"You'll leave the wards eventually," Ivan continued. "Maybe not this week or even this month, but you will leave the wards."

"Unless you go totally paranoid," Rose commented. "Even then, Ivan and I have forever to bring you to us."

"And if my plan works?" Lissa asked.

Rose made a delighted sound. "Liss, I look forward to seeing you try. I want a challenge, and what better challenge than to face off against opponents who I know? You see, I know all of you very well. I know how every guardian in the family fights. I know where your homes are."

"And what Rose doesn't know, I know," said Ivan. "Wards are only so useful. After all, the wards around St. Vladimir's were broken. I know how it was done. Imagine if we were to break the wards around … other places."

Silence hung in the air. Lissa felt herself shiver at the threat. Ivan was threatening to attack Court. Lissa was terrified. Terrified of Rose and Ivan and the danger they posed. She relaxed slightly at the touch of her father's reassuring hand on her arm.

"You're not ready for that," Dimitri said coolly.

"You're right, of course," Rose replied. "But I also know how close the Moroi world is to falling apart. What if I let slip what is discussed in private council sessions regarding the fate of the dhampirs? How many guardians are listening now? How many would share that information and let it burn like a wildfire? Moroi are weak cowards who would sacrifice their children just to hide another day."

"Rose!" Ivan's voice was sharp, interrupting Rose's rising voice.

Tension filled the interrogation room. Lissa noticed the look Dimitri shot toward Eric, though she didn't understand what it conveyed.

"You know we're trying to change that," Lissa said.

"Can you do it fast enough?" Rose replied.

With sinking dread, Lissa remembered all the communities and residences she had visited with Rose over the past month. She drew several steadying breaths. She could only hope that Rose hadn't done anything to hurt those people. They would all need to be warned.

"We will," Dimitri said. "We will change things here for the better, and we will stop you."

"I look forward to seeing you try," Rose replied.

"I believe that is enough for now," Ivan said. "We have much to do and know that you must be busy."

The call ended.

Lissa laid her head in her hands and started to shake. She felt Christian's hand rub soothing circles on her upper back. She heard her father break the silence in the room.

"For now, I want this recording to be kept private. Rose was right about one thing, she does know secrets of my family's council regarding closed discussions among the royal families. Those discussions are best kept secret for the welfare of our people."

"I understand, Prince Dragomir," Guardian Croft replied. "I believe there is nothing more that can be done today, though we will need to discuss security measures with your family's guardians before they are dismissed."

"Of course," Eric replied.

They stood, making their way toward the exit. Lissa didn't pay attention to anyone or anything behind her. Her focus was on the next step before her and trying not to break down. She didn't understand how one day she could be so strong and the next day she could be so weak. Nothing in her life had been as difficult as that call.

* * *

Eric Dragomir watched Lissa leave the interrogation room. He wanted to follow her. He wanted to comfort his daughter. But he had other duties and responsibilities to take care of. At least Christian and Rhea would be there for her. Eric wished he had time to mourn Rose, the girl he had helped raise.

Guardian Croft dismissed most of the guardians and asked for those assigned to the Dragomirs, as well as Eddie and Dimitri, to head to a nearby conference room. Eric went with them. He was involved with all security measures regarding his family.

Eric saw a few glances from the guardians toward Janine Hathaway, who was also going to the conference room. They didn't know yet that Janine had been reassigned. Eric had only found out a few minutes before the call. Janine was now Lissa's guardian, replacing Rose. They would tell Lissa soon.

Inside the room, Guardian Croft told the others of Janine's new position. There were a few looks of surprise, then nods of approval. Janine was one of the best guardians in the world. She would be an asset, even against her own daughter.

Eric listened as the guardians talked. They were analyzing the conversation with Rose and Ivan. Eric saw how difficult it was for all of them to speak. He saw that many of them had been crying. It was the faces of Janine and Dimitri that were most striking to Eric.

Eric tried to imagine Janine's pain and couldn't bear it. He had thought that he loved Rose as another of his children, but he knew that losing any of his own children would be infinitely more painful. He was ashamed of that fact. To lose one of his children would be like losing part of himself. To lose all three of his children and his two grandchildren would take away any reason to live in this world. And that was very nearly what the hollowness of Janine's face portrayed. There was no life or emotion in her, only emptiness.

Dimitri's expression was more grim than hollow. It seemed that barely beneath the stoic exterior was a bottomless well of anger. Eric recalled the first time he had met Dimitri. Dimitri had shared a bond as deep and close with Ivan Zeklos as Rose had shared with Lissa. Dimitri had been friends with his guarding partner as well. And Dimitri had been involved with Rose for most of the year. Now Ivan and Rose were Strigoi and Dimitri's guarding partner was dead, what did he have left to hold onto, aside from anger?

"Rose and Ivan aren't getting along," Eddie commented in the course of discussion. "Did you notice that?"

A few nodded.

"He cut her off in the middle of her commentary about Moroi society. Why?" Medha asked.

"She was sending a mixed message," Dimitri replied slowly. "If the Moroi are reminded of their shortcomings, they might actually do something useful." He glanced at Eric. "Excuse my bluntness."

Eric waved it away. "It's fine. You know where I stand. I think you're right. She wanted to frighten us, not inspire us. If we took her words to heart, maybe we would stop being so impotent. Ivan was clever enough to see where she was slipping up."

Hans spoke up next. "Do you think we can use their disagreements to our advantage?"

"No," Dimitri quickly replied. "They have the same goal, turning me and Lissa and anyone else we know. Strigoi fight each other, but they also work together when necessary. Right now…" He stopped, unable to finish his thoughts out loud.

Hans nodded. "If she comes for one of you, how well does she know all of your fighting styles? How well could you perform against her before she was turned?"

"I trained Rose," Dimitri said. "I was usually the winner in our sparring, but I did train her to be able to defeat me."

"We trained together since we were kids," Eddie said. "Even match. I had strength. She had speed and flexibility."

"We also trained from when we were young," David replied. "I'm not sure who was better."

Frank and Daniel, the older two Dragomir guardians had also occasionally trained Rose and sparred with her. They were both more experienced. Rose had been faster than Frank but not Daniel. Vincent, Andre's other guardian had rarely sparred with Rose. He had been faster than her.

"I only sparred against her a few times," Katrina said. "I was better than her, but now … I don't know. It depends on how reckless she is now."

"We were partners," Medha said quietly. "We trained daily. We were fairly equal."

Janine spoke slowly and reluctantly. "She doesn't know how I fight." It was a very painful admission for her to make.

Hans reminded them, unnecessarily, to be careful in dealing with this case. Rose and Ivan knew them very well, and it was unusual for a Strigoi to show so much interest in people they knew before being turned. Hans wanted the guardians to be honest if they felt they couldn't handle the possibility of killing either Rose of Ivan. The silence was uncomfortable as they considered his words.

Janine looked at Hans. There was strength in her, beneath the hollowness. "I will bring my daughter peace and protect Vasilisa. I owe her that."

Dimitri answered next. He was cold, stoic. "I promised myself that I would bring Ivan peace. I know that Rose would rather die than be a Strigoi, no matter what she claims now. I won't hesitate if it comes to that."

Only Eddie, Katrina, and David seemed slow in their agreement, though they also said they wouldn't hesitate to fight if they saw Rose or Ivan.

"Is there anyone else who you think Rose could target?" Hans asked. "Aside from the Dragomirs, Tasha and Christian Ozera, and everyone in this room. They both seemed to imply that this was her idea."

"Lauren Voda and her guardians may also be in danger," David said. "She and Andre Dragomir are dating. Rose knows that."

"Anyone we visited over the past two months should be warned," Medha said. "Rose knows the weaknesses of many residences and several communities now."

"Mason," Eddie said. "Mason Ashford, at St. Vladimir's. Rose might go after him if he leaves the campus. Even with one hand, he's still a good fighter." He paused briefly. "Plus, Rose seems to be deliberate in who she's targeting. She's possessive of certain people, even as herself. She and Mason were always very close. They were constantly together after the attack on the school. I could see her going after him."

Dimitri looked at Eddie. A dark and pained look crossed his face. Eddie looked away. Dimitri swallowed before speaking again. "Adrian Ivashkov, Sonya Karp, and Mikhail Tanner should also be considered targets."

"And Rose's father," said Janine. "Rose knows her father is Abe Mazur. She might try to go after him as well, though he should be able to protect himself."

They wrote down the list of potential targets. Then they broadened the list to include communities and properties which might be in danger. The list was long, though it was a sensible precaution.

"Do you believe what Rose said? That they're not going to track everyone right now?" David asked.

"Yes," Dimitri replied. "She's trying to toy with us. It's not a challenge for her, otherwise. How long we have is anyone's guess."

"That brings us to planning," said Hans. "You know that we can't allow a pressing threat to linger. It may come down to us sending in a team to eliminate them."

Several flinched. Dimitri and Janine curled their hands into fists.

Eric spoke up, calm and steady. "There might be an alternative to killing them. My daughter Lissa and some others are searching for a way to restore Strigoi. Everyone in this room, aside from you Guardian Croft, already knows about this possibility. If it is possible, it is worth trying. I plan to send Jill to school tomorrow on the private plane. She won't be allowed to leave campus for any reason. Rhea and myself will remain here at Court until everything is resolved."

"Mia is only attending online courses this semester at school," Katrina said. "That will keep us and the children at Court too."

"To my knowledge, Andre isn't dropping his classes," said Vincent. "We can limit our time out of wards to daylight hours, but that will get more difficult as the days grow shorter. We will be more cautious, but all of us can't remain inside the wards forever."

"Agreed," Eric said. "Not that I expect Lissa to remain behind wards. I know she will leave the moment she finds the lead she needs."

"We'll keep her safe," Medha said. "No matter what."

They talked a while longer, trying to ensure the safety of everyone as much as possible. When they were done, Eric still needed to talk with Dimitri about the genetics project. He also knew that Janine and Lissa also needed to talk, which he would help facilitate. Eric also had other responsibilities to attend to, like contacting St. Vladimir's and securing a flight directly from Court to the school for Jill. It would be a very long day.

* * *

Ivan regarded Rose with wary caution. She was angry, and her anger worried him. She was stronger than he had anticipated. The others he had awakened had been human, which accounted for the difference in strength, speed, and fighting skill Rose had over them and over him. Her temper and impulsivity were also concerning. She was far too volatile for his liking, but she was a true ally.

He could trust her above any other Strigoi. Trust was dangerous for their kind. Trust was foolish and could get you killed, which was why so many Strigoi worked alone or in loose association with a few others. Only powerful or old Strigoi kept close associations. The only exceptions were usually Strigoi who had known one another when they were mortal. Ivan had hoped for his alliance with Rose to go smoothly, but it was rockier than anticipated.

"You interrupted me," she hissed.

"Because you were giving them too much. You were reminding them of their faults, which can be good or bad. You don't want them to actually grow spines, do you?"

"No." She tossed her hair over one shoulder and began pacing his study. She was always full of tense energy. "I want them on edge. I want to kill them all or awaken them. I want to fight. I want to see how good they are."

"If you move against them too soon, you will die."

She threw up her hands. "I know!" She faced him, eyes blazing, then she pulled back. She softened her expression to some mockery of fondness. "I want our plans to succeed. I may be passionate, but isn't that a good thing?"

"Yes, but you need to learn patience."

"You sound like Dimitri," she growled.

"And he would be right about patience being useful, especially for tactical moves."

"And what do you know about tactics? You were a millionaire who ran businesses from a comfortable seat every day."

"Business requires following trends. It requires knowing when to move quickly and when to refrain from a snap decision. Sofia has such a mind as well, which is how she has survived so long. If you want to survive, you need that discipline and strategic thinking, as well. Killing is easy. Planning is difficult."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course." She sat on the arm of one of the plush leather chairs in the study. "Didn't you want us to go meet your other creations before we leave?"

Ivan approved of the change in subject. He did want Rose to meet the others he had awakened since settling in Pennsylvania. There were five others, and they were all living in the general Philadelphia region. His association to them was looser than his association to Rose and Sofia, even though he had made them. He wanted Rose to know them. He wanted them to fear Rose. And they would fear Rose.

Ivan looked at Rose. She was a lethal beauty. She wore her hair loose; it spilled over her shoulder and back like a dark curtain. She wore a black leather jacket that ended at her waist, and a black leather riding glove on her right hand. The jacket was unzipped, in the inner pocket glinted her stake. She was probably the only Strigoi in the world who carried one. The rest of her ensemble was simple and practical. She wore dark blue jeans, black sneakers, and a black tank top.

He understood her. He understood the way she used her beauty and her training to her advantage. He knew that she would only do it more and more as she grew accustomed to her new life.

For now, they were allies. He could see how often she considered killing him. She wore her emotions too plainly on her face. He even knew that she offered her body to him to convince him that they were allies. It worked, though not because it meant anything to either of them. Ivan had wanted a sexual partner, but he found himself disinterested in awakened humans. Humans had always been food to Ivan, nothing more. An awakened human was barely more than a normal human in his eyes.

But Rose had been a dhampir. She had always been attractive, though Ivan had not had any interest in her while they were mortal. For the moment, she was what Ivan wanted. He trusted her because she was willing to be in a vulnerable position with him. He trusted her because their goals and plans were aligned. He had earned her trust by letting her keep her stake.

They soon left the mansion to meet with the others he had made. Afterward, they were heading to Montana in the back of a cargo van. It was time for Rose to have fake identification papers made up, and for her to meet Sofia.

* * *

Dimitri spent an hour with Eric Dragomir in the Dragomir's family library. They discussed political plans. Dimitri knew that being related to the Queen mattered for their political machinations. He knew that, if Prince Dragomir's schemes worked out, the Moroi government would have a lot to consider. However, Dimitri didn't care. He would do what was needed. He still wanted a better society for his sisters and their children, but he couldn't feel enough for any of it to matter in that moment.

The plan was simple. The Council was going to vote very soon on how to increase protections for the Moroi. Eric wanted the Moroi to fight. The opposition wanted to lower the guardian age or to compel the unwilling to fight. Eric planned for the royal dhampir children to stand as witnesses to how their kind were treated, and some of their Moroi half brothers and sisters would stand with them. The trained Moroi fighters would speak about their skills. Christian Ozera would be able to discuss his role in the St. Vladimir's attack. And Lauren Voda had something else under wraps that she wanted to bring up at the same time.

Dimitri, as the great nephew to the Queen, could talk about the vast disparity between the life of himself and his sisters and that of their own cousin. Dimitri was still uncertain of telling Adrian the truth. It was such a strange revelation, on top of everything else.

The only thing Eric still wanted for his proposal on Moroi fighting was the answer for why it had been outlawed in the first place. There was still no update on that from Tasha and her team. Even after months of research, the histories were obscured.

When all was settled, Dimitri began walking. He wanted to clear his mind from everything. He wanted to forget everything. He was tempted to drink himself into darkness again, but decided against that foolishness.

In the end, Dimitri went to the gym. He ran for a while on an elliptical, then moved to the punching bags. He lost track of time as he punched and kicked the heavy bag.

He released his anger into hitting. Anger at himself and the world. Anger that wouldn't go away, no matter how hard he tried.

In his exertion, Dimitri remembered Eddie mentioning that Rose was constantly with Mason after the attack. He tried to remember anything Rose had said about it. Had she mentioned spending time with Mason? Had more gone on that Rose had never mentioned? Dimitri didn't know, would never know.

Anger and guilt came in alternate waves.

Dimitri remembered his own secrets that he hadn't shared with Rose. He hadn't mentioned almost kissing Tasha. He had tried to forget the entire incident, but it still lingered in his mind at unwanted moments. Maybe Tasha thought about it too— another reason to keep her distance from Dimitri. They were both far too emotionally vulnerable right now.

The more Dimitri thought, the more Ivan and Rose came to mind. He had known them so well. He had known Ivan in ways that were impossible to describe. He had known Rose like the treasure of his heart.

But they were monsters now. Monsters with cold menacing voices. Monsters without regard for anything or anyone. They killed and taunted for pleasure.

He tried to forget the sound of Rose and Ivan's voices over the speaker. He tried not to think of them at all. He couldn't forget. He couldn't forget that Rose's necklace lay on his bedside table, still covered in traces of her blood.

He wanted to know why this was happening and knew there was no answer.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thank you for reading, following, and commenting! I'll see you again soon!_


	38. Destruction

Rose stretched as she hopped out of the confines of the cargo van she and Ivan had been trapped in for hours. The van had been the best way for them to travel across the country without dying in the sun. It had been a long journey. They had found diversions of many kinds on the drive, including reading and plotting, but all of it grew tedious after endless hours spent in a box. The high temperature and lack of light weren't an issue, not for Strigoi. Still, Rose was glad to be outside in the fresh air again.

"Where are we now?" she asked. "Can we hunt?"

Plains and hills stretched in the distance. They were parked in a driveway in front of a log cabin with a few other cars. Their human driver was walking toward the house, also stretching after the long drive. Rose understood the importance of not murdering all their human accomplices, but she was hungry, bored, and irritable.

"We're in Montana," Ivan replied. "This is a safehouse for some of our human allies. None of them are food. We need to drive to Helena to hunt."

"How far?"

"Six more hours, then a couple more until we reach Sofia. Of course, that depends on how fast I drive."

Rose groaned. She couldn't stand the idea of more hours in a car. Their last stop for hunting had been Chicago. "I need to run." She cut off a protest before it could leave his lips. "If I don't run, I will kill the human who drove us. Being cooped up for so long is frustrating."

"Be quick," Ivan said with a sigh. "We need to get there before sunrise."

Rose didn't hesitate. She ran. She only ran for ten minutes, but the exertion was enough to release some of her bottled up tension. She wished they could have flown out to Montana, but Rose needed identification for air travel.

When Rose returned to the driveway, Ivan had put their bags in the backseat of a new car. Rose got in the passenger side, and Ivan soon sped them away.

It was nearly sunrise when Ivan stopped outside of a cabin. Three other cars were parked in the gravel driveway. Rose hopped out as soon as Ivan stopped. She stretched, relieved to be out of a car.

Ivan also stretched when he got out. He was more tolerant of being in a car for so many hours, not that he enjoyed the box truck any more than Rose. He closed the car door and eyed Rose as she stretched. He wondered how this meeting would go.

"You have to be careful," he warned. "She is far more powerful than us. I can't go against her. You can't either if you want to live. I've seen her flay one of our kind for breaking her rules. It was gruesome."

"I'm not an idiot," she huffed. "You've warned me a hundred times already. I won't do anything to anger her."

She reached for the rear passenger side door, but Ivan shook his head. "Leave everything in the car. I'll send a servant out to bring everything inside."

Rose glanced at the trunk. "Even the… What did you call them? The tribute? Gift?"

"They'll be fine for a few more minutes. We need to get inside before the sun breaks through." He started to walk toward the cabin, then stopped. "Leave your stake in the car."

Defensive, she glared at him. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to see you dead today. Ask her if she'll let you carry it. Don't assume, not with her."

Rose held Ivan's gaze for several long minutes before she opened her jacket and pulled out the stake. She stuck it inside the car's glove compartment.

"Satisfied?"

He nodded, turning again toward the building.

They left the car and its contents behind, walking to the cabin. Rose followed Ivan's lead. They cleaned their shoes on a rug inside the entryway of the cabin before entering.

Rose observed the cabin as she followed Ivan. She noticed how clean everything was, and that the workmanship was high quality. After passing a few doors, Ivan stopped at an open door. Two humans were inside, folding laundry. The humans stopped, glanced toward them, then cast their eyes down.

"Take our bags to my room," Ivan said. "There are also two children locked in the trunk. They are for the dining hall."

"Yes, sir," the middle aged woman replied.

Ivan and Rose continued past the room, walking down more hallways.

"Dining hall?" Rose asked.

"For our kind. Food is kept there for a time. It was lucky that we stumbled across that car. It saved time."

A family of four had been sleeping in their car along the highway. Ivan and Rose had killed the parents and kept the children as a gift to Sofia. Rose didn't understand the point of hunting children, but if it made the older Strigoi happy, she wouldn't complain.

At the end of one hall hung a painting. Rose stopped, eyes tracing the details of the young woman's face. Rose knew that the painting was old and that the woman was a Moroi. Her bearing was formal. Her blue eyes and long blonde curls made her look a bit like a doll.

Rose looked at Ivan, the question plain on her face.

"Sofia," he answered. "That's what she looked like when she was a Moroi."

A thought crossed Rose's mind which should have appeared much sooner. "How old is she?"

"Two hundred," a soft female voice replied.

Rose's eyes snapped toward the source of the voice. Sofia stood a bit further down the hall, her hair falling in loose violet curls around her petite form. She was dressed in casual modern clothes, far different from the elaborate dress she had worn in 1816 for her portrait.

"Give or take a few years," Sofia continued. She looked at Ivan, a smile that seemed genuine spreading across her lips. "Cousin, you took a long time to get here. Is this the one you spoke of?"

Ivan nodded. "Yes, this is Rose. We knew one another while mortal."

Sofia drew closer, her eyes studying Rose. "Dhampir?"

"Yes," Rose replied. "I was a guardian."

Sofia's eyes narrowed. "For how long?"

"Two months, give or take. I graduated in June."

"Ah, that would explain why you look so young."

"You don't look old, either." The moment the words left Rose's lips, she knew that wasn't entirely true. Sofia physically looked young, but her presence and coldness spoke very clearly of her two centuries of existence.

"I was young," Sofia replied. "I was seventeen when awakened." She glanced at Ivan, even as she began to circle Rose. "Why introduce me to this associate? You said that there are others?"

Ivan was about to answer, but Rose answered for him. "Because I was assigned to one of the Dragomirs, and I was raised by them. Plus, I was bound to my Moroi."

"Bound?" Sofia asked. She crossed behind Rose. Rose wore her hair up, deliberately, and her marks showed.

"Rose was shadow kissed," Ivan answered.

"Ah." Sofia stopped in front of Rose, her lips quirked in not quite a smile. "You fought in a battle and have one other kill?"

"I fought in the attack at St. Vladimir's. I had one of the highest kill counts." Memories flitted through Rose's mind. Dimitri falling to the ground, screaming as the bond with Ivan broke. Natalie Dashkov running toward her, dying. She knew those moments had meant something, once. "Ivan said the attack was your idea."

"It was," Sofia replied. "I gained Ivan from it, which you know. I also have a trophy from it. Come, tell me about your other mark."

Sofia began walking down the hallway. Rose and Ivan followed.

"I killed a Strigoi in Spokane at the end of last year."

Sofia spun, startling Ivan and Rose. "Which one did you kill?"

Rose swallowed, stunned by the intensity of Sofia's question. Yet, the elder Strigoi didn't seem angry, just invested. "The male. My friend killed the female while a different friend and I killed the male."

"How old were you?" Sofia shook her head in disbelief.

"Seventeen. I turned eighteen in March."

"Remarkable," Sofia breathed. "Isaiah was one hundred years old. I made him myself."

"Must not have been that good if two novices could take him down."

Sofia laughed. "Perhaps. Now I know why Ivan chose you. You must have been a remarkable guardian."

Sofia continued walking, leading them. She entered her ossuary and walked to the skull and hand which were to focal point of her sanctuary.

Ivan entered first, choosing to stand between Sofia and Rose. He wasn't certain of their interactions with one another yet.

Rose entered the room slowly. She had never seen an ossuary, and it was very strange to her. Even for a Strigoi, the sight was very macabre. Bones from every part of the human body were arrayed in various patterns around the room. Rose's eyes finally fell on the skull on its pedestal and a hand on a cushion beside it.

"The hand was a token I took from St. Vladimir's."

Not even thinking, Rose growled. It was primal, raw. She saw the hand and knew whose it was. Her mind was overwhelmed. She shook with blind rage from so deep within that she couldn't think. Mason was hers. No one could take from her. No one else could touch him.

Before Rose knew what was happening, a hand was digging into her arm. She hissed, glaring at Ivan.

"Rose!" His voice was sharp, commanding. Ivan's fingers drove deeper, a dull crack sounded. "Stop!"

Rose looked from Ivan, who had distracted her, and redirected her rage, to Sofia. Rose stopped cold. The sheer malevolence on the petite Strigoi's face terrified Rose.

"You knew the hand's owner?" Sofia asked. There was no emotion in her voice. Why would she need to get angry with a girl she could kill without a second thought?

"Mason." Rose's voice was shaky. She was trying to calm herself. She was trying not to run away from the old Strigoi.

"Mason?" Ivan let go, looking between Rose and the hand in shock. "I didn't know the hand was his, or I would have told you."

"It doesn't matter," Rose said. Her arm throbbed where Ivan had broken it. She maintained eye contact with Sofia, not daring to look away. Now she remembered why the name Sofia seemed so familiar. Mason had told Rose about her.

"Did he survive?" Sofia asked.

"Yes," said Rose. "He's alive. He told me about you. I didn't connect it until now."

"He was important to you?"

Rose tried to remember. Everything about her previous life was confused and muddled. None of it seemed important, except for a few strong connections. There were people she saw as her possessions. Was wanting to possess a person the same as them being important?

"He was," Rose replied. "I apologize for reacting as I did."

"You did nothing wrong," Sofia said. Her face transformed from harsh to gentle in the blink of an eye. "Some of our kind have strong emotions connecting them to their pasts." Sofia ran her fingers along the bones of Mason's hand. She glanced from the bones to Rose, eyes narrowing. "If you ever attempt to attack me again, I will rip your head off."

Shaking, Rose nodded. She knew Sofia wasn't bluffing. Rose tried to control her emotions, to calm herself. She needed to be on Sofia's good side and, so far, was failing at that.

"You are strong," Sofia said, "but if you fail to contain your impulses, you will die. Either our kind will do it, or you'll get a stake through your heart. Recklessness is death."

Ivan observed them both. He recalled dimly that Rose had been called reckless and impulsive before, many times. He watched Rose stiffen, trying not to dismiss Sofia's warning. Sofia, for her part, was utterly calm.

Rose straightened her back and posture, tilting her chin up. "I won't get killed."

"It will be interesting to see what you do, should you live," Sofia said.

"I plan to awaken the Dragomirs," Rose replied.

Sofia looked from Rose to Ivan. "She is ambitious. Of course, you said that you wish to attack the royal Court, which is ambitious as well. Cousin, you chose such an interesting companion."

"Why do you call him cousin?"

"I'm descended from her uncle," Ivan replied. "We are cousins, though multiple generations separate us."

Rose turned her eyes toward Ivan, cold and calculating. She rubbed her arm, feeling the pain begin to ebb as her body healed itself. "How nice of you to tell me."

He shrugged. "It's unimportant." Ivan looked at Sofia. "We brought two gifts for you. The servants are taking them to the dining hall."

Sofia nodded in acknowledgement. "Good. How are your plans against the royals progressing?"

Ivan grinned. "Slow and steady. Rose's identification papers?"

"They should arrive tomorrow," Sofia replied. "Rose can have the room beside yours while you stay here."

"Thank you," Rose said. She turned to go, but stopped when Ivan asked another question.

"Is Tessa still here?"

Sofia sighed. "Normally I dislike permanent residents, but she keeps entirely to herself except for hunting. She has taken over three rooms upstairs. She has turned them into laboratories."

"Who's Tessa?" Rose asked.

"She was the first one I awakened," Ivan answered. "She's a scientist, and she works with us. She's very useful for expanding our business ventures." He saw Rose's glare and decided to mollify her annoyance. "You are useful for tactics, especially against the Moroi."

Sofia nodded. "I am interested in how much you know about the Dragomirs. I did not share Isaiah's goals of eliminating the royal houses, but it would be quite the accomplishment to eliminate a royal line. No one has eliminated a royal line since I was young."

* * *

Lissa stirred her drink. It was something sweet and fruity and not too alcoholic. She worried that she might become like Adrian and drink to curb spirit's influence. Rose had taken away so much darkness, more than Lissa had realized.

"We're making progress," Adrian said. He was nursing his own drink across the table from her. "You have to be patient."

"That's not what bothers me."

"What is bothering you?"

"Something Rose said when we talked to her."

Adrian grimaced. "I imagine that a lot of what she said is bothering you."

"Yes, but that's not what I mean." Lissa's fingers tapped the table in idle rhythms. "She said that being a Strigoi is related to spirit. I don't know what she meant or why she said it. I keep thinking about it, trying to figure out what she meant."

"It could mean nothing."

"No…" Lissa stopped studying her drink to look at Adrian. "Everything she said meant something, even if it was only to torment or taunt us. This was different. It was … I don't know … It reminded me of the conversations we used to have about spirit abilities. It was such a stray comment, but that's what I can't stop thinking about."

"You're overthinking."

"I know." Lissa sighed, then took several long sips of her drink. "I'm so tired of this. I know we've finally made some progress toward finding Robert, but Dimitri and Abe started looking all the way back in April. Rose has only been a Strigoi for a bit over a week, but Ivan ..." Lissa shook her head, pained. "How long can someone be a Strigoi and become their self again?"

Adrian drained his glass, then ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know."

"I can't give up, but as more and more time passes …" Lissa brushed away tears with a napkin, carefully dabbing her eyes so her mascara wouldn't smear. "Ivan was one of the kindest people I ever met. He was good and a healer, and I can't imagine him hurting a fly. I don't know if he would want to come back, knowing that he has killed."

Adrian closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. "I know, but I think it's still worth considering, for now. So do you."

"I do. Call me selfish, but I want them back." She paused, thinking for a beat. Her mind flickered with snapshot memories of the dead at St. Vladimir's. "I wish we could bring more back, even though I know we can't." She shook her head to push away the thought. "Do we have an address yet?"

"No, Sonya's had a hard enough time even talking to Robert. She also doesn't want to overuse spirit, and he won't talk to me. We're lucky Abe could find a picture and that it even worked. Beli…" Adrian stopped on Dimitri's last name, made a face, then continued. "Dimitri said that the ghosts indicated an area near Las Vegas, beyond that apparently they aren't cooperating. Or he doesn't want to deal with them."

"I know. He mentioned it in passing yesterday. He's not around much lately, except to talk with my dad."

Adrian's eyebrows rose. "Aren't you on your family's council?"

She drank more, sipping it slowly to avoid a response. "I am, but dad wants me to have time to process everything with Rose before I get even more involved with politics. How are you handling finding out about Dimitri?"

Adrian laughed. "The fact that he's my cousin is hilarious to be honest. I haven't told anyone, as requested. Do I even want to know why your family is looking into the paternity of dhampirs?"

"No." Lissa grimaced. "You want to stay out of politics, right?"

"Yes."

"Then you don't want to know."

The waitress brought Adrian another drink. Lissa hadn't even realized that he had ordered another with a wave of his hand. Adrian took a few swallows before he spoke again.

"I wish I could have learned he's my cousin when things were better. Dimitri and I never talked much. I would make jokes at him about hiding his relationship. Then, after he left, I tried getting with Rose … It all feels pretty surreal." Adrian finished his drink and stood. "Time to go. Do you want me to walk you home?"

Lissa laughed as she stood. "No, I'm fine. Thank you."

Adrian tossed a couple bills onto the table. "Any time."

They left the bar and walked their separate ways. Lissa had needed time to decompress with Adrian. He was a good balance for her to check that she was still doing okay with spirit, plus he was a few shades removed from the center of everything involving Rose. His emotions were less raw. Everyone else was like an open wound to Lissa's senses.

Lissa thought about everything that had transpired over the past week or so. Her mind always cycled back to Rose's comment about spirit being related to Strigoi, but much else had happened too.

Lissa had spoken to Janine Hathaway after the call to Rose. It had been an emotional conversation as Janine explained that she was Rose's replacement.

Lissa knew that it had been Janine's choice. That fact alone tore at her heart. Lissa knew that Rose and Janine had been working on mending their relationship over the past months, only for Rose to be turned into the monster all guardians were trained from childhood to destroy. Janine could have remained away from the hunt for Rose, staying with Lord Szelsky. Instead, Janine had chosen to be at the heart of the fight, no matter the outcome.

After that conversation, came a stranger one with Medha. Medha asked Lissa and Janine to forgive her for letting Rose leave the hotel. She blamed herself for letting Rose leave the hotel.

Lissa assured Medha that there was no one to blame. They were being followed. They had all been in danger.

Janine's response was gentle and surprised Lissa. She said that it was normal for a guardian to want a few minutes alone to breathe and think. To want a few minutes away from the job, even if it was just to get gas. The risk seemed minimal and was understandable. No one was to blame.

Lissa was struck again with how difficult the lives of guardians were. Lissa wondered if she had ignored Rose's needs when they travelled. She wondered if Rose would have gone out if circumstances had been different. If Rose had been free to stop worrying about the lives of Lissa and Christian and other Moroi for an instant.

That train of thought was useless, because who knew what the outcome would have been if Rose hadn't been taken. Lissa, Christian, Rose, Medha, and Eddie had all been in danger that night. It was luck that only Rose had been taken.

Lissa walked quickly across Court, ready to be home. She wanted to sleep and stop thinking. She wanted Christian's arms around her, holding her as they slept.

She kept thinking as she walked.

She hoped that they could reach Robert soon, but she was thankful that any progress had been made. Sonya had talked to Robert Doru through dream walking, which was a start. She wondered if the ghosts couldn't or wouldn't give more specific instructions than "near Las Vegas", or if Dimitri didn't want to keep seeing them. Lissa wouldn't blame Dimitri for not wanting to see Brandon, Celeste, and Meredith as ghosts.

Of course, Lissa hadn't seen Dimitri very often to ask for more details about the ghosts or about how he was handling everything. He wasn't around at Lissa's house, and he was absent from Tasha's apartment when Lissa and Christian visited her. Lissa worried about Dimitri. She was afraid that he would do something reckless. His aura was dark and muddled, showing the chaos of his inner world which he so easily hid.

Lissa thought about one other bit of good news. Abe was preparing a safehouse for everyone. It wasn't far, and it was warded and guarded. If necessary, they would be able to go to the safehouse and be protected. When asked why it was necessary to have a safehouse outside of Court, Abe had reminded them that somehow Ivan had known Lissa's itinerary while she was looking at colleges. The obvious conclusion, in Abe's mind, was that there was someone at Court working for the Strigoi. Eric Dragomir and the family guardians agreed with Abe.

Christian was waiting for Lissa when she got home. He was on his laptop in her room. Lissa still marveled that her parents didn't seem to care that he was staying with her. Maybe they had too much else on their minds to overthink it.

"How was Adrian?"

Lissa shrugged. "He's fine. You could have come too, you know."

"I know, but you said you wanted to talk spirit."

Lissa walked to Christian, wrapping her arms around his shoulders from behind. She breathed deeply, memorizing the scent of him. "We did."

Christian brought his arms up to rest on Lissa's. Their hands moved until they laced their fingers together. "No progress on his end?"

"No. We're still waiting. I wish we could just go to Vegas and have Dimitri follow the ghosts to Robert. Mom and Dad are very opposed to that idea, but we're so close to the answers we need."

"We'll save them," Christian said with conviction. "It might take a few more weeks of Sonya talking to Robert, but we'll get the answers."

Lissa squeezed Christian's hands. She worried that if they took too long, Ivan and Rose would be lost to them forever.

* * *

Dimitri read a book while Svetlana worked on her laptop. They were sitting together in her apartment. Her son was asleep in the bedroom. Dimitri found a shred of peace here. Everywhere else at Court, even his room in Tasha's apartment, held too many unwanted memories. Svetlana evoked different memories, ones of home and a time when life was easier.

Dimitri needed the calm Svetlana provided. Even though some part of him knew that it wasn't fair to her, he needed her right now. He needed a friend he trusted who wasn't deeply connected to Rose or Ivan.

They sat together most days, whenever he wasn't on duty. They never talked much. Mostly they just sat together. She worked. He read or worked. They both paid attention to Seryozha, Svetlana's son, as the child required. There was nothing more to it, no mention of their past or of the turmoil in Dimitri's heart and mind. When he did need to talk, she listened. She accompanied him when he took long drives away from Court to escape from his inner demons.

Some part of Dimitri knew that Svetlana's feelings for him still ran deep. That was the reason he shouldn't spend so much time with her. He was hurting her, but she would never voice a complaint. She would stay because she cared, and he needed her to keep himself sane. It wasn't healthy or good for either of them.

Three weeks after Rose was turned, Svetlana gasped as she was reading on her laptop. Her eyes were wide, her posture rigid.

Dimitri laid a bookmark in his book. He was re-reading Lonesome Dove, somehow it seemed fitting. "What's wrong?"

Svetlana shook her head a few times. She pressed an index finger to her lips as she continued to slowly scroll through the document on her screen. After a minute, she looked at Dimitri. "We found it."

"Found what?"

She swallowed, shaking her head again. "The reason Moroi stopped fighting. I don't have a full translation yet. One of my colleagues found the text. It was the remains of a journal, written by a Drozdov."

"What does it say?" Dimitri put his book on the coffee table and shifted closer.

"The summary is this — in 1826, the civil war among the Moroi grew so bad that families were killing one another with their elements. Something happened, the details are unclear in the journal entries, and there was a massive battle. A royal family was nearly annihilated in the battle. When the survivors returned home, Strigoi had wiped out everyone in their village. The survivors made their way to the Drozdovs. After hearing the story, the Drozdovs killed the survivors. An entire royal line was ended that day."

"They killed their own people? People who were on the run from Strigoi?"

"That's what it says. The journal was written by a young son of that family. There are a few other journals my colleague pulled from that same time and some tell related stories."

"Okay, so why did they stop fighting?"

Svetlana scrolled for a moment, then ran her finger along the screen to find her place. "One year after the battles, the Moroi declared that they would no longer fight one another due to the tremendous loss of life. Elements should only be used for good, and they should forget about the ways of harm. That was the path of destruction. The dhampirs stepped forward, promising to be the shields of the Moroi against the Strigoi. This is only a fragment of the story, but it's quite a revelation."

"Can you find out more?"

"Yes. Now that we have specific dates and names, finding more details should be a much easier process."

"One thing doesn't make sense."

"Only one thing?" Her tone was humorous.

His lips twitched into a small smile. "For now." His smile faded as he considered everything she had said. "Why hide this? Brutal battles and war atrocities are common throughout history. The Moroi choosing to become pacifists because they had drastically harmed themselves makes sense. However, instead of admitting that they had erred, they erased this from the record. So, what else were they trying to hide?"

"Good question. I think that will be the next step of research. It must have been something worse, though what is worse than massacring an entire royal line, I can't imagine. I'll do some more digging in the Court archive tomorrow after I update Tasha."

She yawned, then put her laptop on the coffee table and stretched. "It's past time to sleep. You should head back. Unless you're not going to sleep, in which case you can stay on the couch."

Another faint smile from Dimitri. "I'll go back to my own room. Thank you."

They stood and hugged.

"I told you that I'm here for you," she said against his shoulder. "I meant it."

He squeezed her a bit closer before letting go. He left before he could say anything stupid.

A few days later, Dimitri was in the guardian's building when word of a major Strigoi attack came in. Humans had been the targets. Fifteen of them had died in a California mansion. It had taken a couple days for the report to reach the guardians via the alchemists.

Dimitri joined some of his colleagues in going over the details of the case. Strigoi killing humans happened every day, but a massacre was less frequent.

Dimitri shuddered, remembering the Badica and Drozdov massacres. And St. Vladimir's - always St. Vladimir's. They haunted his dreams and sometimes his waking moments.

The guardians would examine new massacres because of the increased threat they posed to Moroi. In most instances, only the bodies and their locations were available to study. In this case, there was video footage. Four Strigoi, three female and one male, had caused the slaughter.

Dimitri sat near the back of the conference room. He saw Janine enter as well. They hadn't spoken much since her arrival at Court. The pain they were both in was too raw. She sat near the front.

When Guardian Croft entered the room, he looked very carefully at Janine, then gave the same look to Dimitri. Something cold and dark clawed at Dimitri's guts.

"Before we begin," Hans said, "you need to know that the video footage you are about to see is among the bloodiest ever recorded of a Strigoi attack." He drew a deep breath, fingers drumming on his thigh. "You also need to be aware that two of the Strigoi in the film have been positively identified as individuals from our community who were turned this year. Some of you know them. You don't have to view this footage, but information gleaned from it will be useful."

"Who were the Strigoi?" someone asked.

Dimitri knew it was Rose and Ivan before Hans spoke again. So, it seemed, did Janine. She sat rigid and unmoving as Hans said their names.

A few guardians drew sharp breaths, shocked and pained. They had known Rose. Some may have known Ivan. Dimitri recognized Katrina a few seats away. She had her fingers templed and pressed to her lips, as if that could keep her expression neutral.

No one left the room.

And they watched.

Dimitri clenched his hands into fists, digging his nails into his skin. It was a miracle that he didn't throw up.

Janine watched the footage as if someone else was seeing through her eyes. As if she was elsewhere while her body saw the monster her daughter had been turned into.

Katrina tried to keep herself from crying or shaking as she watched.

The small Strigoi was the fastest. She moved like a tiger, full of deadly speed and strength and grace.

The other female and Ivan moved with less finesse.

Then there was Rose, who was very obviously faster and stronger than Ivan and the second female Strigoi. She had been trained to fight. She had been trained to kill. Still, Rose wasn't anywhere close to the petite Strigoi's level of power.

Dimitri detached from his emotions. He watched the four monsters on the video with a strategic mind. He saw them defer to the small female. She was their clear leader, and Ivan seemed to be her second in command.

A memory prodded at Dimitri, even through the horror of the footage. He recalled Mason Ashford's report from the St. Vladimir's attack. The report of a petite Strigoi female with dyed hair who moved faster than the others. She was old, Dimitri realized, older than any Strigoi he had faced.

Dimitri was still detached when he watched them kill. They were not the people he had known. They were soulless monsters. They were demons made flesh.

And Rose didn't just kill with her teeth and hands. No, she wore a glove on her right hand and plunged a stake into the hearts of some of her victims. Some in the room gasped in shock. Dimitri recalled practicing staking with her. She had taken to it so easily, like it was something she had done all her life.

His mind blocked out some of what he saw. It was too much and too horrifying. The blood, death, and mutilated bodies. They had killed fifteen humans at a party. The oldest had been sixty-five. The youngest had been two.

In a state of torpor, Dimitri left the room when the meeting ended. He noticed, dimly, that some of his colleagues were looking at him or Janine. He also noticed that some of the guardians raced to the restrooms, likely to vomit.

Dimitri didn't feel.

He didn't want to feel.

He vaguely recalled that Tasha had wanted to quit. He understood now. He wanted to be done. He wanted to leave all of this behind and … And what?

He didn't know what he would do if he left. He had never lived for anything but duty. Ivan and Brandon and Rose had all told him to embrace life and live it. They were all dead now — or monsters. And Dimitri still hadn't done what they had all wanted him to do — live.

He found himself in a lounge, staring out of the windows. He didn't know how long he had been staring. He didn't know what expression was on his face. He simply became aware of someone standing beside him, not saying a word.

It took Dimitri longer to glance over and down at Janine Hathaway. She was unnaturally pale from grief. Her curly red hair was messy.

She glanced at him, eyes weary and red from crying. Her face seemed to have aged a decade in only a few weeks. "Lissa just texted me. Robert Doru agreed to a meeting. Two days from now in Las Vegas. We can meet at the Venetian at noon."

"Does it matter anymore?" His words were softly spoken, full of boundless despair.

Fire sparked in Janine's eyes. Her voice was just as quiet, but her tone was full of resolve. "Of course it matters. It matters because we have to face them one day soon. My daughter is the only thing that matters to me in this world. If I have a shred of hope in getting her back, I will risk everything for her."

"She's dead."

"I know." Janine's voice wavered. "And if I can help restore her, I will do that. If I can't, then I will give her rest. I can't do anything else. Lissa also won't have it any other way. Why are you backing down?"

Why? Because it hurt too much. But if Janine could endure seeking to end the undead existence of her own daughter, couldn't Dimitri continue this quest too?

"I can't…" He muttered in Russian until he found the right words. "I can't feel anything anymore."

"Most of us can't," she replied coolly. "I lost my only child to the monsters I dedicated my life to killing. I missed years of experiences with her because I'm a guardian, and because I never thought I was good enough to be a mother." She closed her eyes, drawing a few deep breaths before looking at him again. "Rose is dead. That monster isn't her. If there is a hope of restoring her, I'll take it. If not, I will give her rest. It's the least I can do."

Dimitri held Janine's gaze for several long moments. He swallowed hard. What she was saying was what he had planned to do in the beginning. Her words cut deep, through the numb haze of grief. This was all they could offer the ones they loved. It was the least he could do as well.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _So, I figured I'd mention a bit about Lonesome Dove, since I mention Dimitri reading it._ _I'm assuming most of you haven't read or seen it, so I thought I'd give some context._ _It's the only full length Western novel I've ever read, and I really enjoy it. I would recommend it if you enjoy long novels about life with well made characters._ _(It does have some sexual violence, so that is a warning if you decide to read it.)_ _It was also made into a mini-series in I think the 80's, which is also pretty good. Dimitri thinks it's fitting because there are many deaths over the course of the story, which he's very much relating to at the moment._

 _Thank you for reading, following, and commenting! I'll see you again soon!_


	39. Depravity

They must have been a startling sight to Robert Doru. Dimitri, Janine, Eddie, Christian, Lissa, Adrian, Sonya Karp, and Mikhail Tanner sat together in a restaurant in the Venetian when Robert arrived. They had appetizers on the table for everyone. Robert's eyes studied them, most of all he looked at the spirit users and Dimitri.

Sonya smiled warmly at Robert in greeting. She was the only one who had talked to him so far, and that had been in dream walking.

"Welcome," Sonya said, "we're glad to meet you."

Robert took a seat with them, eyes still studying the spirit users and Dimitri. "I've never seen so many spirit users together. Sonya told me about you and that you wanted to meet, but I … I'm still surprised."

Lissa also gave him a friendly smile. "It was a pleasant surprise for all of us to meet, too. Sonya was my teacher, but she is also my half-sister's cousin." She looked at Dimitri, her expression falling. "Dimitri's former bond mate heard about me and trained me. He also healed Sonya from the negative effects of spirit. Adrian ran into us by chance at a party."

Robert nodded slowly, studying Dimitri again. "You are shadow-kissed but unbonded."

Dimitri swallowed, giving a brisk nod of affirmation. "Ivan was turned earlier this year."

"So was my bond mate," Lissa added. "They … they're working together. They've threatened us. But we heard that you restored a Strigoi once …"

Robert's expression was compassionate but wary. "Who told you that?"

"Mark and Oksana told me," said Dimitri. "We've been looking for you since April." It was now nearly September.

Robert recalled them wistfully for a few moments. "I remember Mark and Oksana." He looked at Sonya. "You told me that, didn't you?"

Sonya nodded slowly. "I did. Can you tell us how to restore a Strigoi?" Sonya glanced at Lissa and Adrian. "We think it has something to do with healing, but we haven't been able to figure out how."

"A stake," Robert replied.

Everyone aside from Robert looked between one another in confusion.

"How can a stake restore a Strigoi?" Janine asked with weary impatience.

"It's a charm, right?" Lissa asked softly. "But, how does the charm work?"

Robert haltingly agreed. He first suggested that he could demonstrate on one of the guardians' stakes. The guardians reminded him that public areas weren't a good place to show off weapons. So, Robert explained the concepts to the spirit users. They listened with rapt attention to how the charm was done. They listened with shock at how the stake was to be used.

"You have to use the stake as a channel for your power," Robert explained. "A spirit user has to wield the stake and pierce the Strigoi's heart with the enchanted stake."

They were quiet for a beat, taking in Robert's words. It was Christian who spoke first. He shook his head. "You want the spirit users to stake them? They're not trained fighters."

Robert shrugged. "You wanted to know how; this is the only way to do it."

Lissa swallowed her rising fear. "I can learn."

"Two of you will have to do it, if you want to restore both." Robert nodded sagely. "Or you'll have to choose."

"I'll learn too," said Adrian. Several people around the table looked at Adrian in surprise. He sat up straighter and looked at them with conviction. "I considered Ivan and Rose to be friends. Ivan … he was one of the first people to give a damn about me. He helped me in a lot of ways. If I can help him now, I'll do it. That's why I'm here."

Lissa smiled. "We'll both train, then. Robert, thank you for your help. I was wondering … would you come with us? Rose knows your name and that we're looking for you. If she finds you …"

Robert slowly shook his head. "I can't go to Court. Too many people are there."

"We have a safe house," Janine told him. "It's an estate in Eastern Pennsylvania which has been fully secured. Few know about it. We're planning to move Lissa and Christian there after we fly back to Pennsylvania. I understand that you value your privacy and anonymity, but if my daughter finds you, she will kill you."

Robert studied Janine, face soft and compassionate. "Your daughter?"

Janine him gave a brisk nod.

Robert ran his napkin through his hands. "I will consider it. Are we done?"

They looked between one another and all were agreed that they knew enough now. Janine gave Robert a card with her information on in case he decided to join them. Robert stood, accepted the card, and left.

"How do we know he told the truth?" Eddie asked.

"His aura was honest," Sonya said. "And it matches up with everything we already figured out."

Adrian tapped his fork on his plate, apprehensive. "How difficult will it be to train us to use stakes?"

The guardians all grimaced.

Janine stood, placing money on the table. "We can discuss that back in our rooms. I don't want us outside of protection any longer than necessary."

They all agreed, quickly moving so that the Moroi were kept in the center of their group. They were staying at The Witching Hour to keep their group as secure as possible. This brief excursion to the Venetian to meet Robert Doru had been their only time outside of the Moroi-run casino. They left the Venetian, weaving their way through the crowds.

The late August sun was bright and hot in Las Vegas. They got on the bus and took it to the drop-off point closest to The Witching Hour. They arrived without incident. Even if there were human spies tracking them, they were safe inside The Witching Hour.

They gathered in one of the large, multi-room suites they had booked for their trip. Medha and Austin, Adrian's assigned guardian, joined them. Medha and Austin had stayed behind to rest and secure the rooms while the others were out.

Janine and Lissa explained the details of the meeting to Medha and Austin. Austin took it all in much slower than Medha. He was still new to all the talk of spirit, having only been assigned to Adrian in the past few weeks. It was a necessary precaution, as Adrian had insisted that he was going to art school as planned.

"So, how difficult will it be to train us?" Lissa asked when all was explained. "We can start working on the charms today, but I don't know the first thing about using a stake."

"Me either," said Adrian.

"We can teach you," Medha said, "but you won't be able to do it quickly. We train for years to build up the muscle tone needed for the strikes. Not to mention the fact that Rose is a very dangerous Strigoi. Attempting this seems impossible."

Lissa stood. She paced a little, which was difficult with so many others standing in the room. "I'm not giving up. I can't. I won't. We can find a way to do this."

"Maybe fire users can help?" Christian suggested. "I worked with … with Rose during the St. Vladimir's attack. There has to be a way to trick them or trap them."

"Do you have other fire users available?" Mikhail asked. He looked at Christian, obviously noting Tasha's absence.

Christian nodded. "I have my aunt's contacts." He sighed, running a hand through his black hair. "I don't know if she would help or not. She doesn't want anything to do with our search anymore. It's too hard for her."

Dimitri glanced toward Christian. He had been standing near the windows, distancing himself from the group. "She wouldn't let you go without her."

Eddie was leaning against a wall, tapping his foot impatiently. "Aren't we running ahead of ourselves? We can train Lissa and Arian to use stakes, but it will take time. Then we need to devise a way of trapping Ivan and Rose to restore them. How long are we going to take? How long can someone be a Strigoi and come back out okay?"

Eddie let silence linger for a beat, then continued. "It's almost September. Ivan was turned in March. We watched the videos of the attack in California. You know that's only a few of the dozens of lives they've taken. How long do we give before it's too long?"

They all shifted uncomfortably in their seats. Lissa blinked back her tears before she spoke up. "Rose once told me that if this dream of restoration was possible, she would want to be restored. She would want to make the world a better place." Lissa let our a heavy sigh. "But I do agree, even if I don't want to agree. We need a cut off time."

"The end of October," Janine said. Her voice was flat and sad. "We will train the two of you and come up with a plan of attack over the next several weeks. It won't be easy, but it might be possible to figure out the details by then."

"Why October?" Adrian asked. "It seems pretty random."

Janine briefly held her eyes closed, then she looked at Adrian. "Rose is my child. Every day she is out there she is killing. I want her to have as few of those memories as possible. If I thought you could do it today, I would say that we should find her and do it. I know that's impossible, so I'm giving us a timeline."

Dimitri looked at Janine, one eyebrow raised. "You think we can do this in two months?"

"If we work hard enough, yes," Janine replied.

They talked a while longer before ending their general discussions. They decided on a general timeline and a few specific plans. The spirit users were to spend the rest of the day figuring out how to charm stakes with spirit. When they left Las Vegas, they were going to split up. Lissa, Christian, and their guardians would go to Abe's safe house. There, they would train and plan. Sonya and Mikhail would return to St. Vladimir's, though Sonya would be available to consult as needed. Dimitri and Adrian would return to Court. When they were ready, Rose would be contacted, and they would see how the cards fell.

It took the spirit users six hours of practice to charm a stake correctly. It was an exhausting process for all of them, and the victory didn't mean much until it could be tested.

The next day, they were all about ready to leave when Robert Doru called Janine. He agreed that a more secure place was preferable. So, it was agreed and planned that he would join them at the safe house.

* * *

Rose's senses grew accustomed to the constant thrumming of noise and light. It was uncomfortable, but tolerable. She and Ivan were on their own again. After four weeks with Sofia, Rose had been more than ready to leave. The constant strain of not angering the old Strigoi had been wearing on Rose. At least they had parted on good terms.

Rose had an appreciation for Sofia. Sofia had cultivated an empire for herself out of nothing. She was worth imitating. Sofia was also so powerful that Rose was too weak to challenge her. Rose thought that the only swift way to kill Sofia would be fire - she could probably fend off anything else.

Rose now walked with Ivan along the Las Vegas Strip. It was crowded and overwhelming to their heightened senses. They had decided to pass through the city for hunting before heading back to Pennsylvania. They would fly overnight this time, which was a far better way to travel than being stuck in a cargo van for hours on end.

"We should buy an RV," Rose said. Ivan glanced at her with a questioning look. "For road travel. More comfortable and less cramped."

"I can look into it. You still haven't explained to me what your next step is with our friends."

Rose grinned, careful not to show her fangs while in public. Though she wasn't sure anyone would have noticed the fangs or thought it strange in these crowds. "What month is it?"

"September."

"Yes, and by now we've heard reports from your associates in Philadelphia that Andre Dragomir is still seen coming and going from his apartment there at least one day per week. That means he's still in classes, and therefore easy to access."

"He's sure to have more safeguards in place than usual."

"Yeah, but that's not a problem. We can step up our surveillance too. I know his guardians and his girlfriend's guardians. By now, they've probably grown more relaxed because we haven't been around. They probably also got video of us at the California mansion. They may think we stopped being interested."

Ivan gave a derisive snort. "Dimitri won't think that, neither will Lissa."

Rose linked her arm though Ivan's, leaning into him like a loving partner. In truth, it was easier to blend in and stay together through the crowd while walking that way. "Yes, but they're only two people. They can't control what everyone else does. Patience will bring them to us."

"Or get us killed."

She rolled her eyes. "Have a little faith. I was a better fighter than most of that group. Katrina could be a challenge if she didn't freeze. Dimitri—" Rose gave a pleased sigh as she said his name. "Dimitri would be a true test of skill. I want to face him again. I hate waiting, but it will be worth the wait."

Ivan made a sound of acknowledgment.

Rose looked up at him, a knowing smile playing on her lips. It almost looked genuine. She had learned from Sofia the art of acting and was becoming adept at it. Sofia had learned affectation from a contracted performer and had been kind enough to train Rose. "Do you wonder which of us he would choose?"

His arm tightened around hers, almost painfully. "I think that the three of us would continue working together."

"Of course, that would work well for all of us." The lie almost seemed genuine.

They stopped on a bridge over one of the roadways. They could see The Witching Hour from where they stood. Rose studied the Moroi-owned casino with interest.

"That would get us both killed very quickly," Ivan said.

"Would it?" Rose turned her back toward the railing as Ivan faced the roadway. "It's not like they would stake us with humans standing around. Could you imagine it? Just to walk in there and look at them."

"They would follow us the second we left or surround us in there."

She made a face, waving her hand as she spoke. "I know, but it would be fun for a while."

"Your sense of fun leaves something to be desired."

She gave him a long look. "I thought you enjoyed my sense of ... fun."

Ivan let out a chuckle. He brushed fingers across her cheek, tucking hair behind an ear. "In some things. In other things, I think you're well on your way to killing us both."

Rose laughed. "What's the point of living forever if forever is boring? Anyway, where's the place you wanted us to go?"

"This way."

They continued walking through Las Vegas. It was a long walk, past several large casinos and some smaller ones. On their way down a back alley, they froze in their steps. They felt something, an energy that was unusual and powerful.

Rose glanced at Ivan. She saw his uncertainty. Then she saw two lithe, beautiful forms emerge from an adjacent alleyway. The male and female weren't Strigoi. To Rose's eyes, they seemed human, to her senses they were something else altogether.

The question sprang from Rose's lips without hesitation. "What are you?"

They moved forward and the male gave her a breathtaking smile. "Do you not know, little Strigoi?"

"He's an incubus," Ivan told Rose. "She's a succubus."

Rose maintained her composure, glancing between the three. Ivan had told her about other immortals, but she hadn't expected to see any. "Oh."

Ivan took a few steps closer to Rose. "I trust we won't have any trouble." It was a statement, not a question. He was tensing for a fight, just in case. He had no idea if they could take out the pair of immortals.

The succubus looked to the incubus. They bore a similarity to one another, as if they were related.

The male nodded politely. "We have no desire to fight you. I am Jun, and this is my sister Aina."

"Ivan."

"Rose."

"Could they join us?" Aina asked. Her voice was heavily accented, but it held a silky smoothness which was unnatural and alluring. "They're immortal too."

Jun considered Ivan and Rose. He brought a slender finger to his chin as his keen eyes studied them. "You are indeed young, sister, to ask such a thing. Few of their kind are wanted in immortal circles."

Ivan spoke up. "One of our kind at least works with immortals: Sofia. She brought me to meet immortals in Bucharest, when she did business. I met a water spirit there named Lethe."

Jun threw his head back and laughed. "You met her and lived? For that alone, I think showing you more of our world would be entertaining. How did you make it away from her alive? She despises Strigoi."

Ivan considered his words. Something elusive tugged at his memory which vanished as quickly ask it appeared. He shrugged. "She considered it but allowed me to live. We were going to a place where others of our kind gather in this city."

Jun made a face and waved his hand dismissively. "That place is a dive. Come with us, you'll get dinner and entertainment. The accommodations will also be far nicer. Unless you anger a dragon, no one will attempt to kill you."

Rose's mind was stuck on the word dragon, as she listened to the others speak.

"Is it warded?" Ivan asked.

Aina made a face. "Normal suppression to prevent the gathered guests from murdering one another. It doesn't always stop the dragons."

"Dragons?" The word finally left Rose's mouth.

Jun's smile was brilliant. Undead though she was, his smile was still entrancing to Rose. "They're a greedy and cruel species. Of course, most immortals are cruel. Your kind are certainly vicious. Fascinating abominations, you Strigoi."

Rose bristled. "Abominations?"

Ivan gave her a wry smile. "That is what we are considered by the other immortals. Because we were once mortal and are now immortal."

"Indeed," Jun said.

Rose and Ivan went with the pair of sex demons. Rose decided that seeing other immortals would be a far more interesting experience than being in a relatively small building occupied by unknown numbers of Strigoi and their human prey. Ivan decided that going would gain him more connections in the immortal world that he might one day use to his benefit.

The building they were brought to was unremarkable on the outside. What lay on the other side of the guarded metal door was a different matter. The floor was black stone, flecked with something that made it sparkle. Illuminated white columns accented the same black stone on the walls. The light on the columns slowly shifted through the color spectrum.

Further in were white leather couches, pool tables, and a bar at the end of the room. A second floor overlooked the main lounge. Music played somewhere, a deep rhythmic pulsing sound.

Beings gathered in various clusters around the room. Rose tried not to stare too long at any of them, though it was difficult. The other beings were too strange for her mind to grasp. Some were beautiful and some were terrifying, even to a Strigoi.

Rose and Ivan followed Jun and Aina to a door beside the bar. A being stood beside a lectern. It had blue skin, solid black eyes, and webbed fingers. The fact that it wore a tuxedo made the entire encounter surreal.

Jun talked to the being. To Rose's surprise, it had a deep and rasping voice which sounded almost human.

"We need four meals," Jun said.

"Do you have a preference? And will you kill them?"

"Mine will live. If you want to be economic, one of my guests could consume what's left. We feed on different energies." Jun looked to the Rose and Ivan. "And you? Will your meals live or die? And do you want to play with them first?"

Death was the answer they both gave.

Jun looked at his sister. Aina shrugged. "I don't know if I can control myself yet."

"Two to three kills then," Jun replied. His tone was light and casual. "I think preference will be decided when we see them."

Still a bit confused but ready to eat, Rose followed their companions past the door.

They walked down a short hallway where another door was opened for them. The pulsing music grew louder as they drew near. On the other side of the door was a small room. They opened another door and found themselves in a dance club. Lights flashed and strobed. Bass boomed. Bodies moved sensually to the music — human bodies.

Rose and Ivan gave Jun curious looks.

"They were all invited here from clubs throughout the city. They were told this is elite and exclusive. It is, of course. No one accidentally comes here. Some will live. Their memories of the night will be vague and scrambled. The dead will be dealt with by the staff.

"And the police don't notice?" Rose asked.

Jun gave her a predatory smile. "The police don't even know this place exists. They can't see it. Only people with invitations can see this club. It's a little haven for immortals. You can pick one human as your meal. Play if you want." He gestured to doors along one wall. "Choose a room to eat in. We don't want to panic the herd. The rooms all have exits back into a hallway that leads to the first lounge. Enjoy."

He sauntered off, graceful and alluring. His sister had already vanished into the crowd of moving bodies.

Rose shivered with excitement. She was ready for this hunt. She glanced at Ivan, whose eyes were scanning the crowds. "Twenty minutes."

He nodded in acknowledgment before they both walked into the crowd.

Rose felt herself move with the beat and the movement of flesh. She wore a red dress which only fell to mid-thigh and was cut low in the front. She didn't wear her stake tonight, it was in her purse, which she had been forced to leave at the door of the club.

She revelled in the thrill of hot human flesh touching her ice cold skin. She could see and feel non-humans in the group, each one gathered to eat.

Hands touched her waist, her hips, her back. It made her body course with desire. She chose a man who stood more than a head taller than her. His hair was dark. His eyes were dark. He had a charming smile. Rose wanted to consume him.

Rose grinned at him, not showing her fangs. His lips pulled into a knowing smile at her. They were soon dancing close, bodies pressed together. Human men were far too easy for her to lure. Rose had always been beautiful, which was much to the detriment of her victims.

She let him touch her. She let his fingers graze her dress, her skin. Her keen ears heard his breathed word - cold. She laughed to herself. Her skin was cold, but that didn't stop him from touching her.

Tiring of the game, Rose was read for more. She led him to the wall of rooms. Each door had a glowing panel beside the handle. A red 'X' was locked. A green 'O' was unlocked. Rose opened the door to one of the open rooms, pulling the man inside with her.

The alcove was small and dark. The latch, Rose noticed, locked on its own. She also noticed that the room was silent, soundproofed.

There was a narrow bed on one side of the room. She pushed him onto it, restraining some of her strength. She encouraged his kissing and touching. She didn't want to kill him just yet. She enjoyed the attention of her victims. She liked the power she had over them. Rose never allowed the humans she seduced to go very far, just enough for their endorphins to enhance the taste of their blood.

Sometimes Rose would close her eyes when they touched her, imagining they were the one she wanted. She often did the same thing with Ivan. Ivan likely assumed her eyes closing was a sign of trust. While that was true, it was also easier for her to feign interest when she thought about someone she wanted while being with someone she didn't desire.

She kissed the man's cheek. Stubble pricked the soft flesh of her lips. She trailed kisses down to his throat. She could feel his excitement. She opened her mouth, running her tongue soft and quick across where she would bite. He shivered. She knew that somewhere in his mind was the thought that her skin was too cold.

She didn't let the thought linger. She bit down, hard. She felt him try to fight, so she wrapped herself around him. She put her full power into her arms and legs, pulling him close as her fangs tore into his skin. She drank deep, relishing the sweet taste of him.

When she was done, and he was dead, Rose dropped the body. She stood, looking at the corpse on the bed. He had been handsome. The immortals picked well.

Rose turned, noticing for the first time that there were panels with symbols on the wall across from the bed. She pressed one which showed a sink, and the panel slid aside to reveal a sink. Above the sink were soaps and a towel. Rose turned on the sink, then washed the blood from her mouth and hands.

Straightening her dress and smoothing her hair with her fingers before walking out the second door. She heard the music again, though it was muffled. She thought that it was coming from the ceiling. The feeding rooms appeared to be built separately from the rest of the structure. Several of the strange blue-skinned beings were standing along the opposite wall. One approached Rose, formal in his bearing.

"I trust you found everything you need?" it said.

"Yeah, everything was fine." Rose shifted on her feet. In any other setting she would have known how to respond, but she had never been around non-Strigoi immortals before. She was also a guest and knew very well that angering one's host was a bad idea when they could kill you. Rose wasn't sure who could kill her in this place, but she could feel enough energies that were stronger than Sofia's to have a healthy wariness.

"And your meal?"

"Uhm, he's dead."

The being bowed. "As expected, with one of your kind. Your companion is waiting in the lounge. I will escort you to him."

"Thank you."

Rose followed. She heard some of the others enter the room she had left. She couldn't help herself from asking more. "So, what are you and your people?"

"We are servitors of the maenads."

"What or who are they?"

"Spirits of wine and madness, they are the owners of this establishment."

"They are generous hosts."

The being nodded again and said no more.

They walked down a corridor and into the first club from a side door. She was then led upstairs to a booth with gauzy curtains around it. Ivan was seated there, surveying the room. He looked at her as she entered. Her escort vanished without a word.

"You took your time," he said.

"I was having fun. We still have time to kill before we have to get on the charter flight. Should we talk to people?"

Ivan stood. "We should. I want more connections to this world before we leave."

A wry smile caressed her lips. "Sofia doesn't know that you're interested in connecting with the immortals."

Ivan slipped his arm through hers, a smile on his own lips. "No, and she won't know either."

"She won't let you gain a lot of power here— no matter how lenient she is with you."

"There are other places where power is easier to grab. In Russia I met a woman who had been an instructor while Dimitri and I were at the academy. She had mentored Dimitri and was only awakened a few years ago, but she has her own empire in Siberia. And Sofia isn't all powerful. It would just take careful planning to take her out. However, she is also useful."

Rose thought about their money and her IDs. "I agree. So, we start by networking and turning our friends. And one day, somehow, you want to take out the Royal Court."

Ivan made a sweeping gesture with his free hand. "Networking."

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thank you for reading, following, and commenting! I'll see you again soon!_


	40. Tempest

Rain poured down in sheets. The headlights of Kendra Grant's car barely helped her see the twisted roadway in front of her. She drove too fast. Maybe if she crashed, it would be easier. Ivan had summoned her. Part of Kendra had hoped that he would never return. Part of her screamed for the endorphins of his bite. Most of her wanted all of this to be over. People were investigating missing medications — medications which she had stolen at Ivan's command. Her work performance was suffering. She couldn't think of anything except how much she wanted the cloud of endorphins to make everything feel right. She was drowning in guilt about everything she had done on Ivan's behalf.

She pressed the gas harder and finally felt adrenaline pulse through her body. She flew down the road, wondering if she would lose control of the car or if a deer would jump out in front of her and end it for both of them. If not, Kendra would make it to Ivan. If she made it to him, she would ask him to do it. She couldn't keep going through the motions. She couldn't bring herself to end her own life intentionally, but she could ask him to do what he had been going to do all along. Kendra had already given away her cat, just in case her wish was granted.

She wanted to know why her life had gone so off course. She wanted to undo the past few months and never meet Ivan. She wished that she knew nothing about vampires. She wanted her own life back. She wanted this to end.

Kendra's eyes filled with tears when she finally made it to the long driveway which led to the stone mansion. It was obscured in the dark and rain, but Kendra recalled the grandeur of the place. Parts of it were modern while other parts were old, maybe even colonial. She had even noticed ruined stone buildings in the back, which were rather common in this part of Pennsylvania.

She stopped the car near the front door. Drawing a few deep breaths, she got out. She stood in the rain for a time, letting the cold drench her. This she could feel. This was real. It was pleasant and unpleasant, but it was real. She opened her eyes, feeling the tears end. She was ready.

* * *

Ivan looked at Kendra as water dripped from her onto the carpet in his study. She was drawn and exhausted. She explained to him the issues she was having with her job. Ivan cared little for her or her distresses.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked, bored.

"Kill me," she said. There was no uncertainty in her voice.

In a corner, Rose sat up straight, suddenly interested in the conversation.

Ivan regarded her with indifference. "Why should I?"

A sob escaped from Kendra's lips. "Because I can't do this anymore. You wanted to kill me the night we met. I don't want eternity. I don't want to serve you. I want this to end."

Without warning, Rose stood by Kendra's side. "I could do that." A vicious smile curved her lips.

Ivan heard the human's breathing increase. He was certain that if he had been closer, he could have heard her heart pounding in her chest. He saw the malice glinting in Rose's eyes. He knew that Rose wanted nothing more than to kill Kendra. He sighed and gave Rose permission. "If you want."

Rose grasped Kendra by the shoulders and spun her close. "You have no idea how much I've wanted to do this." Rose sank her teeth into Kendra. She did it slowly, painfully. She longed to make the woman suffer. Kendra had humiliated Rose by knocking her unconscious. It was something Rose couldn't forgive.

When she was done, Rose dropped Kendra to the ground. Then she knelt next to the still form. Rose dragged her nails across one of her own wrists, opening the veins. Rose pressed her wrist to Kendra's lips and forced the blood into her throat.

Ivan stood, surprised by Rose's decision. "Is that wise?"

A harsh laugh sprang from Rose's lips. "If she fights me, I'll rip her head off."

It occurred to Ivan that this was a prime opportunity to rid himself of Rose. She was distracted by awakening Kendra. He did still have plans for her, and he did find her useful. However, she was also troubling. She flirted with danger for the thrill of it too often.

But Ivan let the moment pass.

When Kendra awoke, she tried to fight Rose, much as Rose had fought Ivan. Rose was, however, considerably stronger than the former human. She pinned Kendra to the ground, grinning. Blood dripped from Rose's lips onto Kendra.

"Don't try me," Rose growled. "You should thank me. I forced you to become greater than your pathetic life ever could have been."

"Why?" Kendra hissed.

Rose laughed again. "Because there is nothing I love more than inflicting pain." She ran a finger lightly along Kendra's cheek. "And there is nothing more painful than the tortures of the mind. Come now, we have some fun to plan. And then, a hunt."

Kendra relaxed under Rose, no longer attempting to fight. She was too weak to do anything against Rose, no matter what she would have liked to do. Soon Rose stood, and Kendra stood with her. It was time to make plans.

* * *

It was Svetlana who suggested the drive this time. Usually it was Dimitri asking her to accompany him while he took long drives on the winding country highways of Eastern Pennsylvania. When she met him at the cars, he noticed that she was unusually pale.

"Are you okay?" Dimitri asked.

"No," she said quietly, "but we can discuss that as you drive."

He nodded in agreement, and they left Court. It was daytime, and the mid-September day was still quite hot. Even so, the leaves on some trees were beginning to turn yellow and red. Many of the roads near Court seldom saw much traffic, so the drive was pleasant. Dimitri only needed to keep an eye out for deer crossing the roads, which he had been told was far more common in autumn than the rest of the year.

They were quiet for a while. Dimitri drove with the windows down and country music playing on low volume. Svetlana held a hand out the window, fingers playing in the air current.

"I found what we needed to know," she said at last. "Prince Dragomir giving me access to the restricted archive was the key. I went straight to the earliest records. Many of the founding documents are dull and tedious. Those are the documents everyone reads when they want to bicker and squabble in their council sessions."

She sighed, bringing her hand inside the SUV. "I found an entry in the journal of the first king. It was written in English while all of his other letters and journal entries were in Russian and Ukrainian."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "Who knows? The earliest Moroi settlers here may not have been able to speak or read English. Most of them came from Eastern Europe. It's easier to hide something you don't want read if you write it in a language few around you understand."

"I suppose that makes sense."

"Yes."

She fell silent. He waited for her to speak.

"I don't know what to do," she said at last. "I have all the information from the research of myself and my colleagues. There is more than enough documentation. Even though our ancestors tried to hide what happened, it was still there waiting to be uncovered."

Her voice caught. She shook her head. "I should tell Tasha. She's my employer. But Prince Dragomir is the one who gave me access to these final pieces. He should know too. Plus, he's the more reasonable and level-headed of the two."

"That's true," Dimitri agreed. "Is it that bad?"

She gave a bitter laugh. "Yes. And I don't know if it helps or hinders the goals we have."

"Then let Eric decide. He is ultimately the one trying to push the progressive agenda with the council."

She let out another long breath. "Alright."

"Do you want to talk to me about what you learned before you talk to Eric?"

She did, and he listened.

* * *

I write this for the sake of posterity. I can only hope and pray that our descendants will not condemn us entirely for what we did, though perhaps we deserve nothing but condemnation.

The newly unified leadership of the Moroi reached this decision unanimously. I want that fact understood if ever this is read by someone else.

After two decades of nearly constant war amongst the royal houses, our self destructive nature reached its darkest hour. While three families were busily slaughtering one another, bands of Strigoi attacked and laid waste to the town of the Jelinek family, as well as two academies. The Drozdov family eliminated the rest of the Jelineks when they sought aid.

We stood upon the precipice of extinction. Therefore, the leaders of the families gathered to discuss what should be done. It was decided that we would have an elected monarchy, and base our new government in America - the New World. This is a chance for a new start. The details of restructuring are irrelevant to this note and can be found in the official documents of our government.

It was also decided that all Moroi should cease using battle magic. Many texts on it were burned. Anyone who breaks this new law risks severe punishments, even death. We want no more deaths at one another's hands, and this complete ban on fighting with the elements seems to be the best course to guarantee the future we desire.

Our dhampir brethren have agreed to be our guardians in this matter. They fought beside us in the wars — our brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters. Now they have agreed to take the primary role as our protection against the Strigoi. They too saw the destructive path we walked and have agreed that this is for the best.

It is the final decision which tries the soul. Many blamed the spirit users for the wars. While some have been great healers, others have been the deadliest of killers. They have turned the minds of parent against child, child against parent, commander against soldiers, and so forth. They have borne the harshest blow in our decisions. Perhaps it is for the best that this is forgotten, but I must write it for I cannot live with this knowledge unwritten.

They were all killed. Every man or woman or youth who was trained in spirit was executed. Every book on it was destroyed. It was necessary. They had all trained together under the same masters. They could not be trusted. Spirit is rare, and it is our hope that it will be forgotten forever.

Some ran. Some have hidden away with their children. Some of the common people have fled from our society and have become separatists.

I cannot blame them for hating us. I wish there had been a better way.

The records of those deaths have also been erased. This letter is the only mention of it which I shall make.

May God forgive us.

Aleksander Lavrenti Zeklos

First Elected King of the Unified Moroi

* * *

Eric Dragomir's thumb mindlessly flicked at the pages in his hands. He had been considering it for two days. He wondered why he had ever thought this was a good idea. He wondered how to share this knowledge or if he should share it.

No. He had to tell the people. This was everyone's history. It should not be hidden. But how does someone tell their society about hidden atrocities? Hidden atrocities which occurred nearly 200 years ago. Atrocities which formed the society he now lived in.

Rhea entered the study. She stood beside him, placing a cup of coffee in front of him and ran her fingers through his hair. He had shared the information with her and knew that she too was contemplating it.

Eric dropped the papers and picked up the coffee. He took a few long swallows before setting it down again.

"Thank you," he said.

"You're welcome. Have you decided anything yet?"

"I know that I need to share this, but I don't know how. How do I explain that what we are now is wrong and is based on something even worse. These ancestors of ours were no better than Strigoi."

"Perhaps they were in some respects, but people of every species have been brutal in every generation. Humans have many atrocities on record and many very good achievements as well. Moroi are no different. Why should we expect that our ancestors hands are bloodless?" Rhea leaned a hip against the desk and looked down at him.

Eric pushed back his chair so that he could look at his wife. He admired the compassion in her beautiful face. "I don't know. What I do know is that our ancestors sought to kill every person like our Lissa. I can't wrap my head around that. It seems to me that they blamed every evil committed in their wars on the spirit users and decided to murder everyone who happened to have the same element, even the children."

"And you're afraid of what people might think about Lissa's potential," she stated.

"Aren't you?"

Rhea shook her head. "No. Lissa has shown herself to be a healer. She is gentle and compassionate. Adrian Ivashkov has also done healings. So has Sonya. They are only a small number of spirit users, but they are known to our general population."

"How do I use this information for the best?"

Rhea pressed her lips together in thought and held out one hand to Eric. He placed his hand in hers, and she squeezed gently as she held it. "We have the royal dhampir bastards to bring forward as an example of how our people are mistreating one another. The journal makes it clear that the guardians formed as protection so that the Moroi would stop killing one another. He refers to dhampirs as brethren, not as some 'other' group as we do now. Even the basis for ending the use of combat magic has ended. It's a lie that magic is only meant for peaceful purposes. We have become lazy and morally bankrupt. Think about what the suggestions have been from the council— to throw children and the unwilling at the Strigoi. It isn't to prevent us from harming ourselves, which was the initial purpose of the guardians. The suggestion is one of cowards."

Eric's lips curved in a small smile. "Thank you."

She matched his smile, though it vanished quickly. "Speaking of spirit, Lissa called. She's fine and says that she's making progress."

Eric ran a hand across his face. "I don't know how I feel about this plan of hers. I believe in her gifts, but this sounds insane. I want to protect her, but I can't. God knows I want her to succeed, but how can I want her to go into such danger?"

Rhea's eyes filled with tears as she squeezed Eric's hand. "I don't know. I want to keep her safe too, but we can't. She has guardians with her at the safe house. They won't let her make an attempt until they're sure she's ready."

"They plan to have fire wielding Moroi work with them, whenever they do it."

"I know." Rhea drew a few deep breaths, trying to work through the lump in her throat. "I can't lose her, and I worry about what might happen if this restoration idea fails."

"So do I," Eric whispered through his own choked tears. He coughed, clearing his throat. "Jill is also doing well, or did she talk to you too?"

"She did." Rhea laughed a little. "You've just been so absorbed in work that you forgot."

He chuckled. "I suppose you're right. Any word from Andre?"

"He insisted that he is fine at last update. He and Lauren are certain that with four guardians on top of the building security they will be safe in Philadelphia. I can't blame him for wanting to have a life. We know that she is a threat, but we can't hide here forever." Rhea couldn't bring herself to say Rose's name. "Oh, we have the babies tomorrow so that Mia and Katrina can have a break."

"I remember. It was easier when the girls were here to help watch the babies, too."

"True, though I don't mind." Rhea's affectionate smile for her grandchildren turned wry. "At least he seems to be more cautious about giving us another grandchild at this time."

"Thankfully. Lauren seems to be good for him. I never would have thought that, given that it was first suggested to me as a political match. But they do seem to be doing well together."

"Our children seem to have made good choices with their relationships. Even Andre's missteps were with two young women who are a delight to know."

"They were," Eric agreed. He tried not to think too deeply on his own missteps.

* * *

"How on earth did you find out about this place," Lauren asked with a laugh.

Andre grinned at her. "A friend a school mentioned it. What do you think?"

Lauren's grey eyes took in the eclectic room where they sat. "I love it."

They were sitting in a speakeasy, right in the heart of Philadelphia. It was an unremarkable building, not even marked out front. Inside, it was a bar. The furniture was all mixed and matched. The decor was mostly old looking, though not with any purposeful theme. Patrons sat on couches and cushioned chairs or on high stools around tables closer to the bar. Real candles rested on coffee tables in front of the couches.

"We have to bring Adrian sometime," Lauren said. "He'd love it too."

"Remind me to come here when I get a day off," David joked. He sat on a chair while Andre and Lauren shared a sofa. Vincent and James were standing guard outside while Elliot was asleep back at the apartment.

"I'll do both," Andre promised. "Though not for a while. Next week is the council meeting and Violet's birthday."

"What are you getting her?" Lauren asked with a smile.

Andre laughed. "She's only one year old. Anything I give her aside from attention is pointless. However, I did get some new toys."

"Which she will promptly stick in her mouth," David joked.

"Not if she has wrapping paper and boxes to play with first," Lauren said. Laughter laced her words.

Andre laughed too. "As I said, she's only one." He shook his head in disbelief. "Time flies. I can't believe how big she is. Did I tell you that she's already taking steps?"

Lauren looked at Andre with warm affection. "You did."

They talked for a while, sipping drinks and eating bar snacks. They avoided talk of the planned council discussions. This was an evening for fun. They had decided to start living their lives with relative normalcy. They couldn't - wouldn't - hide forever.

The sun was getting low when they left the bar. Outside, Vincent and James soon fell into step with them, one in front and one behind, while David stayed close and a step behind. They were walking the blocks to Andre's apartment. They should have taken a car, but Lauren wanted to be outside and to stretch her legs. She didn't enjoy being cooped up, especially not when the late September weather was still warm. There were still plenty of crowds on the sidewalks to mix with. It was, for the most part, safe.

Police activity blocked off one of their normal routes, forcing them to find an alternate way around.

The crowds thinned. The sunlight faded entirely to artificial street lights. They soon had a sense that they were being followed.

The three guardians were closer to Andre and Lauren now, moving them quickly along the streets. It wasn't far now, but they had all caught glimpses of people who seemed too pale and quick shadowing their steps.

Too many shops in this part of the city closed early in the evening, preventing them from hiding inside until they could call a taxi or Elliot in the apartment. James, at the front of the group, took out his cellphone and called Elliot, alerting him to potential threats. The guardians needed to get the Moroi to safety.

They started to take turns whenever they could, hoping to lose their tail. They picked up their pace, moving with determination. Another turn. Another block of quick stepping. Hoping to get to safety.

They turned. Two figures stood at the end of the narrow walkway between buildings. They were about to leave the way they had come when two other figures turned that corner— two Strigoi. Vincent went straight for the taller Strigoi, a male. David pushed Andre and Lauren behind him, toward James. Then he went for the other Strigoi by Vincent. One of the figures at the end of the other end of the walkway stood still, observing. The other, also a Strigoi, ran forward.

Andre and Lauren stood together in the center of the walkway, watching in terror as the three guardians fought three Strigoi. They held hands, pressing their backs against the cold bricks of the wall. Their eyes soon fell on the Strigoi who was watching, waiting to see how the fight would go.

Andre's eyes widened in shock. He stared at Rose. She wore all black, including a long black coat. Her hair was pulled into a bun high on her head. And there was nothing familiar in her expression. The girl Andre had grown up with, had seen as another sister, had never worn a look of such cold malice. She tilted her head, looking at Andre, and smiled.

Lauren gasped a wordless cry.

James met his Strigoi with speed. He struck the monster with a punch to the shoulder. The male Strigoi was pushed back but quickly recovered. He backhanded James across the face, but James fought through. James's stake was in his hand. He swiped out with the stake, connecting with flesh. The Strigoi screamed, then evaded. They circled one another. James swiped with his stake again. The Strigoi swung at James's arm, trying to bat away the stake.

David had never faced a Strigoi before. He had trained and practiced and watched rare videos of the monsters, but he had never seen one in person before today. The female Strigoi he fought wasn't a natural fighter. Her movements, while fast and violent, lacked the grace of skill. He took a few blows from her and gave them in return. Then she left herself too open, too vulnerable. David acted on trained instinct, shoving the stake into her heart.

He let the female's body drop to the ground as he removed his stake. David turned, seeing that Vincent was still fighting his Strigoi. But he remembered that Andre and Lauren were unguarded behind him. He spun to face them and finally saw Rose.

Against all of David's training, he froze. Time stopped as he watched Rose move. He wanted to say something, do something. James made the killing blow on his Strigoi, but he hadn't been guarding himself against Rose. She threw him into the wall. There was a cracking sound. James fell to the ground beside the Strigoi he had just killed. Lauren screamed.

David ran toward Rose. He had to get between her and the Moroi. He had to stop her. There was fear and fury in David's movements. He hated this thing that had been Rose, a girl he had loved. He hated that someone he had played in mud puddles with as a child was now a grinning horror.

Rose was fast. She had always been agile, nimble, and deft. She met David's charge easily. She sidestepped him. He was too emotional. She could see how his anger and fear were clouding his movements. She had been a better fighter than him when she graduated. She was even better now.

He tried to swing at Rose with his stake, but she evaded him. Then she pulled out her own stake with a gloved hand. Her lips spread in a manic smile. "Wanna play?"

David faltered for a moment, stunned by her actions. And that was his undoing. She plowed into him, knocking the air from his body. While he was stunned, Rose grabbed his free hand, yanking it behind him. She jammed her stake into the shoulder of his right arm. His fingers convulsed, dropping his stake. He screamed in pain, struggling against her. Rose yanked the stake out of his shoulder and pressed it to his throat. David froze.

Rose held David's left arm firmly while her right arm wrapped around him from behind. Her stake rested at the hollow of his throat. She could hear his shuddering breaths. She could feel the rapid thudding of his heart. The smell of dhampir blood was intoxicating.

Rose looked down the alley to where Vincent stood with Andre and Lauren. She glanced from them to her two dead colleagues at the end of the walkway. Kendra had never stood a chance, but Rose had known that from the start. The other two had put up a much better fight.

"You fought well," Rose said. "Andre, Lauren, Vincent, it's so nice to see all of you again."

"Let him go," Andre said. His voice was shaking.

Rose nuzzled David's neck briefly, breathing the scent of him. She had hunted Moroi with Ivan, Sofia, and Tessa and had not forgotten the taste. It made following through with her plans more difficult. "No, Andre, I have so many plans for David here. After all, he did kill my latest pet. That girl was partly responsible for my awakening. Why not pass on my gift?"

A tremor ran though David. It was utter terror, Rose knew. She reveled in that fear. She pressed her stake a little closer, drawing a bit of blood. She didn't want him to get ideas of attempting escape. She also didn't want him attempting to kill himself on her stake.

Rose continued talking, watching her friends. "What will you do, Vincent? Will you try to fight me, knowing that David will die? Will you run with the Moroi and leave your partner here, again to die?" She studied the faces of Andre and Lauren. "If only you Moroi knew how to fight, now that would be a challenge. You're so weak."

Lauren raised the hand Andre wasn't holding, as if to use her air magic against Rose, but Andre caught it. "No," he murmured. "You might harm David."

"She's going to kill him, turn him," Lauren choked out.

"I probably will," Rose admitted. "But you haven't asked the most important question."

David swallowed, wincing as the stake scraped his skin. "What's that?"

"Where's Ivan? I've been working so closely with him, but he's not in this alley." Rose watched the color drain from the faces of Andre, Lauren, and Vincent. "He's sure to be along soon."

Rose saw the anguish on Andre's face as he realized the decision that would be made.

"Go," David said. His tone was firm, even as fear wavered in it.

"Tell Lissa hi for me," Rose said.

Vincent herded Andre and Lauren from the alley, nearly at a run.

"You could have killed us all," David said. His voice was now even calmer, more resigned. "Why did you let them go?"

Rose laughed. "I never planned to kill any of you." As if on cue, James moaned in pain nearby. "I'd love nothing more than to eat all of you or make you into new Strigoi, but I had other plans."

"What plans are those?"

She brushed her lips against his neck. "To break you all." Rose opened her mouth and bit into him.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _In this chapter, I had the weird experience of overthinking places I've been in real life... like roads the characters were theoretically driving down and the bar in Philly. The bar is real, it's called 1 Tippling Place. The only two pictures I have of it are kinda meh but better ones are out there on the internets!_

 _I'm sorry for how this chapter ends. Also, this is chapter 40! O_O And the fic is now above 200k words O_O Thank you all for following for so long!_

 _Thank you for reading, following, and commenting! I'll see you again soon!_


	41. Helpless

Three hours after the attack, Andre Dragomir sat in the living room of the family house at Court. Lauren sat beside him, still holding his hand tightly. They were waiting for word of how James and David were doing. Both guardians had been found alive, though barely.

As soon as they had reached the apartment building, Elliott had whisked Andre and Lauren out of Philadelphia. They drove straight to Court. Vincent had been left behind to coordinate with the backup guardians who had come to help. They had found David and James laying on the ground, badly injured. David had been nearly drained of blood, though he wasn't dead at last report. James had several broken bones and a head injury. They were under the care of a Moroi doctor in Philadelphia.

Rose had vanished, and Ivan had not been seen. The other three Strigoi had been destroyed by Alchemists, and now it was as if they had never existed.

Rhea and Eric had comforted Andre and Lauren as best they could, though little could calm their terror, horror, and worry. David was Andre's closest friend. James had been Lauren's guardian since she was out of school at seventeen. Now they waited to know if their friends would die.

And they had seen Rose.

Vincent entered the room. He had just arrived back at Court.

"Is there any news?" Andre asked.

Vincent shook his head. "Nothing new. We won't know until later today if we were fast enough."

"Can we send a spirit user?" Andre asked. "Or ask them to go?"

Vincent grimaced, shaking his head. "Prince Dragomir refused. Guardian Hathaway also refused. Your sister protested, but no one wants her outside of wards right after you were attacked. Lord Ivashkov is also not being allowed outside the wards. Besides, even if they could go, the drive is too long for them to make a difference right now."

Andre let go of Lauren's hand, then ran his hands across his face. He was weary and emotionally raw. "She could have killed us all." Andre met and held his guardian's gaze steadily. "Rose didn't move when the fight started. She was watching. She was playing with us."

"Yes," Vincent agreed. "She let us go."

Lauren shuddered. "Why? Why didn't she fight? She could have killed or turned all of us. James …" Her voice caught. "She could have killed him when he was fighting the other Strigoi or afterward …"

"I don't know," Vincent said. "Maybe she said something to David before … before she attacked him. We have to wait and see."

They waited, watching the television as a mindless distraction. Katrina and Mia soon came over with the children, which provided a better distraction. Even though Mia was cool toward Lauren, Mia still allowed her to play with Kevin.

Kat pressed Violet into Andre's arms. He gratefully accepted their daughter, holding her close. Andre's mind briefly touched on the horror he had seen earlier. He thought of Janine Hathaway losing Rose to the Strigoi. It made Andre want to clutch his daughter tighter in his arms so that she would always be safe. He couldn't imagine Violet being a guardian. He couldn't imagine her facing one of those monsters.

Andre looked at Katrina, blinking back his tears. Her face was hard to read, had always been hard to read. He knew that she had nearly been killed by Strigoi. He knew that she had seen footage of an attack by Rose and Ivan. He was amazed that she could handle it all so well.

"Do you want Violet to be a guardian?" he asked.

Katrina's lips pressed together in a thin line as she thought. The others looked at her and Andre at this question. "If she wants to, then I will support her. Do you?"

"No," Andre replied. "I want her to be able to defend herself and those she loves, but I don't want her in harm's way. I want to be able to protect her. I've never felt so useless before."

Something dark showed in Katrina's expression, though her tone was gentle when she responded. "You weren't trained to fight, and you know that even training doesn't save everyone. Violet should be trained, but what she chooses to do with that training should be up to her."

Mia, seated nearby, was watching the conversation intently. Her chin raised in a defiant gesture. "I don't want our son to be defenseless either. I don't want him to feel useless."

Andre nodded at Mia in agreement. He brushed a kiss against his daughter's cheek. He would fight for his children to be safe, and he would fight for the children of his people to be safe. But that would be next week. Now, in this moment, he would hold his little ones and wait, hoping that his friends would live.

* * *

Ivan slammed his fist into a wall, punching a hole in the plaster. He wanted to do it to Rose. She watched him, seeming amused. That made him want to hit her even more. He wanted to fight her. She was wasting perfectly good resources and opportunities on her foolish games.

"I can't believe you!" he raged. "You get three of our subordinates killed and you let three guardians and two Moroi go free. You could have killed or awakened them all. Instead, you let them go!"

"I had my reasons," she said with bored indifference.

He rounded on her, clenching his fists. It took every scrap of his will not to fight her. "What possible reason could you have?"

"I did it to demoralize them. I want to break them. I want them to be paranoid. The more they fear, the better."

"So you let them all go. You didn't think that awakening a few would have done the same thing?"

"No, it wouldn't have. I know what I'm doing."

"What you're doing is causing me trouble!"

Rose gave a derisive snort. "And you think your plans with immortals who despise us are so much better? I endangered _nothing_. You might be endangering us all. Ever think that the immortals you got to go along with you will turn against us all? Give them access to Court, and they'll kill every Moroi, dhampir, and Strigoi they can."

"You're being dramatic."

"Am I? Or are you being too naive? They can't touch Moroi wards any more than we can."

"Some can," he replied.

"Some of the passive and mostly not murderous ones can, though few are like that. More of them despise us and want us dead. Yet you want to ally us with these immortals who have existed long enough to be myths and fables."

Ivan stalked away from her, the change of subject distracting him from his anger at her. "The immortals who agreed to cooperative alliances with us will not betray us. They have rules which govern their nature. Sofia even works with some."

Rose rolled her eyes. " _Sofia_ was born before cars existed. She has the experience to work with some of those things we met. We were only awakened this year. And yet, you think I'm the reckless one."

Ivan walked close to her again, eyes narrowed. "I think you wasted our resources and wasted a perfectly good opportunity to add to our number or eliminate a Dragomir."

"Kendra was useless and going to die anyway," Rose shot back. "The other two were no great loss, either. There are eight billion humans on the planet; we can make a few new Strigoi. As for the others, I wanted to cause a reaction. I want them on edge and off balance. I want Dimitri to come after us. If I had killed or turned them, they would withdraw further. Now they will want to push back because I hurt them."

"How can you know that?"

Rose relaxed her posture and moved toward Ivan. She arched her back and pushed out her chest a bit. A sly grin spread across her lips. She lowered her voice, making it soft and smooth. "Because I know them. I know how they think. I know how they react when in crisis."

She rested her hands flat against his chest and spread them upward. "This will get us what we want," she promised. "Be patient with me. We are partners in this."

She knew that she had won the argument when the anger in his eyes changed to lust. He pulled her close, one hand on her waist and the other burying itself in her hair. His kiss was brutal and hard, but she gave back just as much violence as she received. She had won this battle, and they hadn't tried to kill one another. This promise of physical pleasure was the only thing keeping the frayed ends of their partnership intact.

* * *

The cellphone felt heavy in Lissa's hand. She knew that she should put it down and walk away, but she also wanted to use it. The cellphone was her own. The number she had recently added into it was the problem. She had gotten Rose's number from the cellphone in guardian custody and she wondered if it was possible to talk to Rose.

Lissa turned the phone over and over as she walked to the window of a lounge in the massive estate which Abe Mazur owned. She looked outside, across the gardens which she could see even in the dark of midnight. She shouldn't call Rose, and yet she wanted to do it. She wanted to …

Lissa sighed. She didn't know what she wanted.

She closed her eyes when they started to blur and drew a deep breath. She wanted Rose back, but she couldn't keep ignoring what Rose had become. Rose was a monster. She had done, and was doing, horrible things. But Rose had also let Andre and Lauren go, which Lissa didn't understand. And at last report, David and James were in stable condition, though both would be recovering for some time.

Why had Rose spared them? It didn't make sense.

She could feel the edge of darkness pulling at her. Even though she and Rose had learned to balance the effects of spirit, Lissa suspected that Rose had been pulling more away than was needed. Now that the bond was gone and Lissa was practicing more with spirit, nothing was there to blunt the darkness. All the grief and anger of the past year knifed at Lissa, with more intensity due to spirit darkness. She knew the other spirit users were feeling it, too.

Lissa tried to keep in mind their plans to restore Rose and Ivan. She remembered talking to Rose on the plane back in spring. Rose had said that if she were turned, she would want to be restored if it was possible. Lissa wondered if either of them had truly understood what that could mean.

Lissa and Adrian were both in training. It was hard. They worked on strength training and cardio. They were taught how to stake. And they had learned how to charm stakes with spirit. Every day, Lissa felt herself growing stronger, though the process was exhausting. She trained with Janine. Adrian was training with Dimitri.

Lissa knew that she would never be a real fighter, even though she knew these lessons were important. Her instincts were all geared toward healing, not fighting. And she knew that even getting close to Rose would be a challenge. They had discussed tactics and defense strategies. Christian and other fire users were involved in these plans, as well. Even Tasha, though she had distanced herself from the project, was willing to work with them whenever they attempted to restore Rose and Ivan.

Lissa turned the phone in her hands. It was still too soon, but she knew they weren't going to wait much longer.

Drawing a breath, Lissa looked at the phone and called. She listened to it ring, detached from everything. Her breath caught when Rose answered.

"Yeah?"

Lissa couldn't speak.

"Hello?" Rose huffed.

"Rose." Lissa's voice cracked.

A sharp gasp sounded over the line. "Liss."

"You tried to kill my brother."

"Well that's not true at all," Rose laughed. "I never even touched him or Lauren or Vincent. I let them go without a scratch on them. I could have killed them all. Or I could have awakened them."

Lissa sank onto a couch. "But you didn't."

"And you want to know why."

"Yes."

"Because I wanted to test myself. Humans are so boring to fight, though we did take out a couple guardians and Moroi the other week."

Shuddering, Lissa forced herself to ignore that statement. "Is Ivan still with you?"

"Oh, he is." Rose laughed softly. "He was rather upset with me for what I did. I missed your voice, Liss."

"Did you?" Lissa's tone was cold and steadier than she felt.

"You were a constant in my mind for over a year. I could always feel you or hear you. Even after I learned to block you, I could feel you. Now it's just me in my head, and it's kinda boring. Never would have thought that possible."

For a moment, Lissa could almost imagine that Rose was herself as she spoke. The words sounded so normal, but the tone was wrong. It was too many shades away from Rose as she had been.

"You seem to be finding distractions enough," Lissa said.

"I guess." A flicker of annoyance shone in her voice. "Are they alive?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I want to know how much you and the others are hurting."

"We're fine," Lissa hissed. She ended the call before Rose could say another word. Looking up, she saw Christian by the doorway.

"Who were you talking to?" he asked, worried.

She clutched the phone in her hands. Her fingers were cold and trembling. "Rose. I called her."

Christian sat beside her, wrapping her in his arms. "How did you get the number? Why did you call?"

"Kat got it for me. I needed to talk to Rose."

"Now she has your number."

Lissa blanched. She hadn't thought about that. "I can get a second number. I wasn't thinking. I … I needed to talk to her."

"I know, love. I understand."

Lissa leaned into him, turning off her phone. Christian held her close, soothing her.

"I'm so tired of this all," she said. "I want us to go for them soon. I'm tired of planning and waiting while people are being hurt."

"Then we can ask if the guardians will try sooner. They might, now that Rose attacked your brother."

"She didn't attack him though," Lissa said softly. "She could have. Instead, she taunted and intimidated them."

"That's kinda what she did when she was called before." Christian shifted so that only one arm was around Lissa. He ran his free hand through his hair. "She's toying with us."

"I know."

"Maybe … maybe after the council meeting this week we can convince the others that it's time to try going after Rose and Ivan."

"Maybe. If we can get everyone to agree. Are we ready though? What if we fail?" _What if I fail_ , she didn't say out loud. Trying to restore Rose and Ivan could result in the death or deaths of more loved ones, and the attempt might still fail.

Christian slid his arm from her shoulders and rested his hand in hers, squeezing. "I don't know. We can only try."

Lissa nodded slowly in agreement. "I should get ready to head back to Court. I still have to pack."

Christian agreed, and they went to pack for their return to Court.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _I'm sorry for the delays and for the short chapter. I'm fighting writer's block. I know where the story is going and have a ridiculously detailed outline, so it's not a story block, just a mental block related to getting words out of my head. I'm fighting to get the next chapter out there soon. (paragraphs have been written, slowly) Some of it was meant to go with this chapter, but it should all work out fine._

 _Thank you for reading, following, and commenting! I'll see you again soon!_


	42. Risk

The royal council sat in a semicircle on the dais at the center of the largest meeting room at Court. Queen Tatiana Ivashkov sat in the center with six members of the council to either side of her. Royal guardians in black and white with red collars stood behind the council. The rest of the room was filled with Moroi and an assortment of dhampirs. Moroi royals clustered together mostly by family clan. The common Moroi and the dhampirs were scattered throughout the room.

The Dragomirs and Ozeras were seated beside one another, allowing Tasha and Christian to be seated with both groups. Though it was also a statement by Rhea Dragomir whose royal blood was from the Ozera clan. The tiny Dragomir family contingent was made up of Rhea, Andre, and Lissa, as well as Mia, Katrina, Lauren, and Andre's two children.

A group of more than twenty dhampirs, including Dimitri, sat near them. A few in the group were guardians, though most were not. They were all the children of royals, unclaimed by their kin. A few were old enough to be Dimitri's grandparents while the youngest few were babies.

Near Dimitri's group sat five Moroi women of various ages who Lauren spoke with and showed where to sit. They were part of her plans, which Dimitri knew nothing about. He did know that the women were all royal.

Beside Dimitri sat Adrian, his cousin. Dimitri was still unsure what he thought or felt about the fact that Adrian was his cousin. They had worked together a lot since returning from Las Vegas, but the topic of their family had rarely been mentioned. They focused on training so that Adrian could potentially stake and restore a Strigoi, which meant paying attention to the training and nothing else.

He had never been close to Adrian. The time they had spent together at St. Vladimir's had been focused on spirit. Or Adrian had been teasing Dimitri and Rose about their hidden relationship. Ivan had been the one to befriend Adrian.

Dimitri could see Adrian through the memories which had been Ivan's. Ivan had spent a lot of time with Adrian, becoming a friend and mentor to Adrian. Ivan had seen potential in the careless younger Moroi. And after working with Adrian on combat training, Dimitri could admit that he saw potential in his cousin as well.

His eyes wandered to Queen Tatiana. It struck him now how strange it was to be directly related to the head of Moroi society. He thought, a bit bitterly, about how differently he and his sisters had been treated compared to their cousin. The only difference between them was race.

His assessment of the crowd ended with a glance toward Svetlana. She sat beside Tasha. Her part in this was over unless someone wanted to contest the translations she and her colleagues had made of various documents. She hadn't made plans to return home yet, and Dimitri wondered if she would leave when the council sessions ended.

Part of him didn't want her to leave. He didn't want to spend so many hours alone, trying to distract his mind. Reading, working out, and driving didn't keep him away from the desperate hollow ache inside. Being around Tasha and nearly everyone else at Court made the feeling worse.

Spending time with Svetlana soothed that emptiness. It was never absent, but the feeling diminished when he spent time with her. She had been a constant support for him, which was unhealthy in its own way. Even though nothing had happened between them, the past they shared was still beneath the surface of their interactions. They cared deeply for one another, and all the emotions of the past few months had made that connection stronger.

Dimitri was using her as an anchor, and he wasn't ready to let her go. Because without her, he would lose the only thing keeping him grounded. He had lost too much between Ivan and Rose being turned Strigoi, not to mention Brandon dying. Until they were restored or at rest, he couldn't begin to move past the events of this year.

The session began. The queen made some opening statements, framing the day's agenda. She spoke about the massacres in December and the attack on St. Vladimir's in March. She spoke about the need for increased security for the people.

Dimitri wondered where Tatiana's vote would land. He wondered if Adrian knew. He wondered if Adrian even cared.

Eric stood when Tatiana finished speaking. He wore a light grey suit with a white shirt underneath. It gave him a sophisticated but relaxed appearance. His entire look was polished without appearing pretentious.

Eric took a step away from his chair, and began to address the room. He reflected on and referenced Tatiana's statements. His voice was clear and strong as he spoke.

"I have spent much of this year talking to various people about how we should make ourselves safer. I have debated with the council. I have spoken to people who lost loved ones in the Badica and Drozdov attacks. I spoke with my daughters after the attack at their school."

He swallowed and cleared his throat. "I have also spoken to many others in our community. I have spoken with other royals. I have spoken with non-royals. I have talked with many dhampirs who live and work in our society. I have learned much from them all."

"What most people I have spoken with agree on is the need for change. What changes, though? Some have proposed changes that would harm the dhampirs. I am opposed to those ideas."

Eric's eyes tracked across the council, then turned to his own family. "I will confess that I took guardians and dhampirs for granted. I have always had guardians. I was accustomed to their roles in my life. Even though my wife and I were the legal custodians of a dhampir for many years, we never considered a future for her beyond becoming our daughter's guardian."

He swallowed again, containing his emotions even though he was visibly distressed when obliquely referring to Rose. "A year ago tomorrow, my granddaughter was born. She is a dhampir. She has helped me see so many things I was blind to."

Eric began describing the lives of dhampirs as told to him by many he had met over the years. He spoke of the dhampir singer in Las Vegas. He talked about Rose and Janine throughout Rose's schooling. He talked about the sacrifices he had seen his own guardians make.

"Is there a point to this?" the Tarus Prince asked.

"Yes," Eric replied. "You see, I was working on a project this year. My son and daughter traveled and asked questions of the people they met. Then they asked for volunteers."

Eric gestured to where Dimitri and the group of dhampirs sat. "I was wondering how other royal Moroi treat their children, grandchildren, brothers, and sisters. I found my answers. I am sure most of you know that many dhampirs don't even know who their Moroi parent is, though that is hardly the fault of the dhampir. They are treated as second-class citizens. They are disowned and ignored. These dhampirs are all the children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, and cousins of royal Moroi in this room. Some here have said that our choices must protect our children and our future. I wonder which children are meant by those statements."

Eric paused for a few beats, letting his words sink in. Then he made a gesture toward the seated dhampirs, and they stood. Each dhampir held up a placard on which were written the names of royal Moroi, several of whom were in the room. The royals in the room shifted uncomfortably. Some muttered under their breaths. Some had the grace to look ashamed. Some were embarrassed, and others were angry.

Tatiana's eyes stopped on Dimitri's sign, then tracked to Adrian seated next to where Dimitri stood. Her eyes then focused back on Eric as a flicker of emotion crossed her stoic face.

Eric's next words were said with calm assurance. "If we want to protect ourselves, our people, why are we sacrificing our own children to do it?"

Amid the mutterings of the crowd, which had grown louder at his comment, Eric continued to speak. He began to tell the audience about the lives of some of the royal dhampir children. A few were well respected guardians. Some lived away from the mainstream Moroi culture. A few had been reduced to selling their bodies just to have a meal and a bed.

When Eric finished discussing the dhampirs, he changed tactics. "The restrictions of our society have also had an impact upon some Moroi women. At this time, I would ask Lady Lauren Voda to share her story with you."

Lauren stood. Her eyes fell first upon her grandmother, Princess Voda. She then looked at the Queen and Eric before returning her gaze to her grandmother. When she spoke, it was loud enough to carry across the room. She told them her story - about her life as a privileged royal. She spoke about her friendships with dhampirs in school and about becoming involved with a dhampir classmate as a teenager. Her voice caught when she explained that her parents had forced her to get an abortion because the child would have been a dhampir.

Lauren went on to explain the fate of her high school love. That he had died as a young guardian. That he never had the opportunity to have a child. That there was no one to carry on his name or lineage.

She then introduced the five royal women seated with her. Each of them had a similar story. In three cases, the child had been abandoned to an orphan academy to be raised from birth. Each of them had been forced into that choice because of their families.

"The prejudices of our people are only hurting us," Lauren said. "You wonder why dhampirs leave the Moroi world to live amongst humans? Why wouldn't they leave? Out there, they are free. Here, they are slaves to a system which treats them with contempt. And what do the leaders of our people do? You sit in closed meetings debating with one another for months on end and accomplishing nothing. I know the changes which Prince Dragomir has proposed. I know the changes which other members of the council have proposed. The narrow-minded and backwards views of our traditionalist leaders will only harm our people further."

She looked at the council and Queen one by one, then her eyes tracked across the audience. "There are more non-royals and dhampirs in our society than there are royals. While many systems in our society are funded by the royal families, we have grown complacent and entitled. We believe that we deserve to be treated better than non-royals and dhampirs, even though we are no different from one another. All that divides us is wealth and privilege."

A bitter expression crossed Lauren's face. "We Moroi are so privileged that when our lives are in danger, we can do nothing to protect ourselves from the Strigoi. Instead of fighting back or defending ourselves, we throw dhampirs into danger and hope they're good enough to keep us alive. We hope that the odds are in our favor." Her voice trembled a bit and she clenched her hands to steady herself. "And yet we refuse to teach Moroi how to use our elements for our protection. We refuse to teach our children how to defend ourselves in any way, shape, or form."

"You're one of those radicals who wants to make Moroi fight, aren't you," the Ivashkov prince said. "Wouldn't have thought that of Priscilla's granddaughter."

Lauren gave him an icy smile. "Last week I could have died. Lord Andre Dragomir, myself, and our guardians were attacked by Strigoi. The only reason we survived was because the Strigoi let us go."

"Let you go?" The Ozera Princess questioned. "Strigoi aren't known to do that."

"The Strigoi knew them," Eric Dragomir answered. "It was my daughter's former guardian, Rose Hathaway."

"She did it to screw with our heads," Lauren said. "However, she could very easily have taken all of us out, along with her associates. She chose to let us live. And I could do nothing but cower, defenseless. One of my guardians, a man who has been my friend and protector for several years now, nearly died. One of Andre's guardians was also in critical condition after the attack. All we could do was watch as our friends and protectors were hurt and our lives were threatened. We were sheep. We were weak and helpless. Why have the ability to manipulate the elements and not know how to use them for anything useful?"

"The elements are peaceful," said another council member.

"On that matter," Eric interrupted, "I must disagree."

"You don't believe that our magic is peaceful?" Tatiana said. "Do you doubt the traditions of our people?" Her voice held a warning note.

Eric shook his head. "I believe it is wise to understand why a tradition exists in the first place. We have stories of Moroi warriors from long ago, yet we know that our people stopped fighting. I wanted to know when that happened. I wanted to know why. I now know that answer."

So, Eric told the council, the Queen, and everyone in the room the story of their people. He explained the research that was done, mentioning the work of dhampir translators in the process. Then he told them what had been learned. He spoke about the wars and murders their people had committed against one another. He explained the reasons why offensive magic was outlawed and why the guardians were created.

The torrent of discussion which followed was tense and heated. Copies of the documents were shared, debated, argued over.

What did Prince Dragomir want? Why bring up all these topics? Why try to shake the foundations of their society?

For truth. For justice. For integrity. For the future of their people.

In the end, one matter was voted on, and it passed with only two voting in opposition. Moroi were now free to fight with magic in defense of themselves and others when Strigoi were involved. Moroi would also be trained in self-defense in schools. Anyone seeking to learn self-defense or offensive skills would be free to do so. Further amendments to the laws of the Moroi regarding the status of dhampirs would be discussed in future meetings.

* * *

Dimitri followed Svetlana into her apartment. He tried to smile with her, but he felt that something was off. Perhaps it was his ruminations earlier in the day that she would leave now that her job was done. He didn't want her to leave, but he knew that desire was selfish.

"I can't believe the council passed Prince Dragomir's suggestions," she said. She set her keys on a table as they moved further into the room. She looked at him, grinning. "I've never been prouder of anything in my life. Except for my son, of course."

Dimitri gave a short chuckle. "Of course."

"I know that I only played a small role, but what we have all been working on for months paid off. I believe that Eric Dragomir wants the best for our people and will fight for it. Things are changing for the better."

"They are," Dimitri agreed.

Svetlana looked at him, her smile fading. She put her hands on her hips and studied him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he lied.

She snorted and took a few steps closer to him. "I don't believe you. You're overthinking something, as usual."

He ran a hand through his hair. "I was wondering if you're planning to return home now that your work has ended here."

"Oh." Her lips pressed into a thin line for a moment as she regarded him. "If I want to work here, I could. I have enough translation work that can be done over the internet. I could also offer my interpreting services for freelance here, if I want."

"Is that what you want to do?"

She regarded him warily. "I plan to go home. Do I have a reason to stay here? I know that I promised to be here for you, and I have been. I have spent nearly every day with you since Rose was taken. I wanted to be a support and help for you; a friend."

"You have been an amazing friend."

"But it hasn't been enough. I worry about you, Mitya. I worry about you every day. You're angry and depressed and hurting. I know that you want to restore Rose and Ivan. And I'm terrified that if you fail to restore them that it will destroy you. I told you before that killing Ivan would kill you." She moved closer to him so that they were only a foot apart. Unshed tears shone in her eyes. "If this fails, you could see them both dead."

Dimitri swallowed hard. "I know."

"If it succeeds, and they are restored, then you won't need me. If it fails and they die…" She shook her head as her voice caught. The tears spilled over slowly. "I don't want to see what you would do if this idea fails. You've barely been more than a hollow shell since Rose was turned. I love you too much to watch you kill yourself."

"Is that what you think I'd do?"

She held his gaze steadily for a few moments before answering. "I want to believe that you'd find a way to live and move forward, but I can't. If this idea fails, and they both die, I don't think you'd commit suicide, but I do believe that you'd run into danger just to feel something, and that you'd do it until it kills you. Please, tell me that you wouldn't find a way to end your life. Tell me that you wouldn't volunteer for dangerous assignments or go completely rogue to hunt Strigoi."

Dimitri was silent. He couldn't say it, because he wasn't certain that her assessment was wrong.

She pressed her hand to his cheek in a gentle gesture. Tears still slid slowly down her cheeks. "I want you to live. I want you to find joy and pleasure in this world. I want to see you happy again. Maybe it won't be soon, but one day. But I also need to take care of myself and my son. The longer I stay here, the harder everything has become."

"I don't want you to go." The words felt weak and brittle. Dimitri knew it was unfair, and yet he wanted her to stay.

"Why?"

Dimitri pulled her close and kissed her. It was a sudden, startling movement. She tensed at first, relaxing her body only a fraction as she kissed him back. It was a soft, slow kiss. It felt familiar and strange. The kiss of a former lover after many years. Dimitri held her close, hands on her waist and back.

There was something Dimitri could feel in that kiss. An emotion that wasn't rage or numbness or despair. And the taste of something other than misery was a soothing balm. He wanted that. He wanted to heal and forget.

Her hands were pressed against his chest. She stopped the kiss and pushed gently on his chest with her hands as she attempted to take a step backward.

He looked at her, stunned. There were tears in her eyes and an expression of deep sorrow. Guilt hit him a moment later.

 _Rose. Rose. Rose._

She was an aching phantom in his mind. A scalding wound in his heart. She was dead and not dead. How can you grieve when your loved one is now an immortal monster? How can you move forward when planning to restore them?

Was she dead and gone forever? How long is long enough to grieve?

And Svetlana was watching him. She had been nothing but good and kind to him. And he had been using her as a crutch since Rose was turned. He was hurting her, a fact which he now saw in her eyes.

He swore, raking his hands through his hair. "I'm lost," he admitted. "And you are the only thing keeping me sane right now. I know it's wrong and unfair. I know that I'm hurting you, and I don't want to hurt you."

"I know," she said softly. "And that is why I need to go. I'm not the one you want, and I'm fine with that. I'm fine with you loving and wanting Rose. But I won't be a rebound, especially not for my own ex-boyfriend."

She gave him a sad smile before continuing. "You aren't alone. You have friends here. You have other people who are hurting and grieving the same losses." She slipped her hand into his, giving a reassuring squeeze. "And you can still talk to me. However, I won't be here in person. It's for the best."

"I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for."

He nodded. They hugged. Her head on his shoulder. The embrace was long and hard, until they parted.

"I'm leaving in two days," she said. "If you want to, could you take us to the airport?"

"I will," he promised.

They looked at one another for a heartbeat longer, then Dimitri turned around and left.

* * *

Lissa didn't answer the texts Rose sent. Lissa didn't see them, because she now kept that phone off. Rose didn't know that, though she assumed as much.

Then one day in early October, a couple weeks after they spoke on the phone, Lissa sent back a reply.

 _-I want to talk_

Rose saw it and grinned. Her reply was quick and simple. _-_ _Then call_

Rose stared at the phone in eager anticipation and waited. She answered as soon as it began vibrating. "Lissa."

"No, not Lissa. She is here though."

Rose sucked in a sharp breath. "Dimitri," she purred.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Are you ready for what comes next?_

 _I'm mostly over my writer's block. The council scene was where I got stuck for ages. I'm excited for this last stretch of chapters. There's only around 11 left!_

 _Thank you for reading, following, and commenting! I'll see you again soon!_


	43. Blood

Lissa drew a steadying breath as she looked around the room. She had called this meeting of her family and friends and their guardians. She knew that it was time to start the next step of their plans. They all knew. It had to happen soon.

"I think we're ready to attempt restoring Rose and Ivan."

"How do you propose finding them?" asked Medha. "We get sightings of Strigoi reported regularly, but no one knows if it's them or not. We don't even know where they are. Or if they're both still around."

"They are both still out there," Lissa replied. "Rose says so in her messages to me. As for finding her, well … I thought we could just call her and ask."

A couple people in the room let out small chuckles.

Eddie gave Lissa a dry smile. "That's probably crazy enough to work."

"You really think Rose will come if you call?" Abe asked skeptically.

"She never says no to a challenge," Dimitri replied. Several people nodded in agreement. "Ivan would be cautious. But Rose … I don't think she'd hesitate to confront us if challenged."

David looked up from where he sat on one of the sofas in the Dragomir's living room. He had recovered from his encounter with Rose. He nodded in agreement. "I agree. She's terrifying, but it's all a game to her." He shuddered. "It's like the impulsive and competitive parts of her personality were amped up. Give her a challenge, and she'll meet it. She's always been that way, even when we were kids."

Again there were several murmurs of agreement.

Janine drew a steadying breath. "If she agrees to do it, she will most likely not be alone. We have no idea how many allies she has."

"She has enough that she feels comfortable sacrificing a few," David said. "She's confident that she has the upper hand. The only way she'll fight us is if she thinks she can win. Or if the target is tempting enough to try."

Eddie shifted away from the wall where he was leaning. "So we lie to her. Dimitri, if you call her and challenge her, she might agree to do it without thinking through the consequences. If you can sell it to her as just you, or maybe you and Lissa, she might buy it."

"Or she might not," Dimitri countered. "We need to know what strength we can rally against her before contacting her."

Tasha turned her gaze from the window to look at Dimitri. "There are ten trained Moroi who are willing to fight with their elements. That's including me and Christian."

"Medha and I can make a few calls," Kat said. "There are more than enough guardians here who would volunteer to help us. Some even know the rumor that spirit might be able to restore a Strigoi." She stood. "I'll call now."

Medha stood with her, and the two left the room.

Meanwhile everyone else continued to discuss, though their conversation soon quieted. They had been planning for months. These were simply the final steps of the planning phase. If they went to fight Rose and Ivan, it would be the end of this wearying anxiety, no matter the outcome.

When Medha and Kat returned, they both seemed hopeful.

"Ten more guardians are willing to go with us," Medha said. "Even your guardians agreed to go, Lord Ivashkov."

Adrian shook his head. "You don't have to call me that. It reminds me of my father, and I don't want to be compared to him."

Dimitri shot Adrian a wry look.

"Anyway," Adrian continued, "I didn't expect them to. This plan is a bit insane. Plus they're only my guardians when I'm away from Court."

"Where does that put us with fighters?" asked Eddie. "Who all in this room is going?"

Some raised their hands. Dimitri, Eddie, Medha, Janine, Christian, and Tasha would all go and fight. Adrian and Lissa would go and attempt to restore Rose and Ivan. David decided not to go, feeling that he needed to keep watch over his Moroi. The other Dragomir guardians also chose not to go.

Katrina looked around, drew a deep breath and raised her hand too. "I'll go." She looked around, seeing a few surprised or worried looks. "I'm one of the better fighters in this group. Plus, this is important. I can face whatever is thrown at us. That brings our number to twenty-five fighters plus Lissa and Adrian. I doubt that Rose and Ivan can match that number."

Dimitri nodded. "I'll call." Lissa handed him a phone, and Dimitri called the number.

* * *

Rose entered Ivan's map room. He was adding to his notes. Meticulous. Plotting. Planning. He was always so careful, so circumspect. She saw the plans he was outlining, the details he captured. He had so many notes on so many people. Diagrams covered the walls. Notebooks lay on tables, each filled with copious notes. Rose couldn't understand how he could spend so much time working like this. It was not her preference.

She stood at the door, slipping her phone into the pocket of her jeans. He was going to be unhappy, to put it mildly. She waited until he acknowledged her, remaining still and watchful at the doorway.

He eventually spoke without turning to face her. "What do you want?"

"We're going to have company," she said.

Ivan put down his notebook and turned to her. She kept her expression neutral. "What does that mean?"

"I invited some friends over."

"Rose … What did you do?"

She shifted her weight, making it easier to fight if necessary. "I just got off the phone with a few different people. We're going to have a fight."

He took a few steps toward her. "With whom?"

A smile spread slowly across her face. "Oh, everyone. I talked to Dimitri. They're tired of my games. They want to fight. So I told them where we live. Then I called all our allies."

Ivan was across the room before Rose blinked. She put an arm up in defense, blocking him from reaching her throat. He grabbed her arm, but she twisted out of his grasp. She wrenched one of his arms behind his back and with her free hand pressed the tip of her stake at a point on his ribs where it could slip into his heart if she wanted. He stopped struggling.

"Are you insane?" he spat.

"Not at all." She increased pressure on his arm, forcing him to remain still. "I wanted a challenge. I'm bored with plots and schemes. I don't want to sit around waiting for some grand plan of yours to work. Dimitri contacted me. They want to end this, and I want to fight them. I called our contacts. I told them we were going to have some fun, and they should join us. You can leave if you want. You can take your notes and run like a coward. It's night. You'll have enough time to hide away somewhere. Of course, if I succeed, you'll lose any standing you have around here. No one likes a coward."

"If he's coming to fight us, he won't come alone. Unless he's snapped altogether."

Rose laughed. "No, he's not going to be alone. I'd count on multiple guardians coming and some Moroi fire users too. It should be quite the battle." She sighed with pleasure.

"You'll die."

"I think I'll win. But if I die, at least I'll do it in style. Now, are you going to stay and fight? Or are you going to run away like a coward? They won't come until daybreak, I'm pretty sure of that."

Rose could feel the tension in Ivan's body. He was almost trembling with rage. She knew that their alliance was over, no matter what choice he made. If he stayed to fight, and they succeeded, they would go their separate ways. If he stayed and they failed, then they would both die. Of course, if Dimitri killed Rose or Ivan, it would destroy him, which was a consolation. Not that Rose intended to lose.

Ivan relaxed. "I'll fight."

"Good." She released his arm, but didn't put her stake away. "I want to set up a few surprises for our friends while we wait for our allies."

Ivan turned to Rose, his eyes murderous, and nodded.

* * *

Janine was pacing in her room in the hours of waiting while everyone rested and prepared to leave. Janine had been trying to rest, but her mind wouldn't let her sleep. Her thoughts were too consumed with possibilities.

The arrangements had gone smoothly, perhaps too smoothly. They hadn't expected Rose to be so close — only a bit over an hour from Court. Perhaps she had lied. Perhaps Rose would leave before they arrived.

What if this works?

What if this fails?

Janine stopped pacing. She abruptly sat on her bed, leaning forward and breathing deep. She needed to calm down.

There was a knock on her door. She drew a few more deep breaths before standing. She opened the door to see Abe standing on the other side. She let him in and the door closed behind him.

"How are you holding up?" he asked.

Janine shook her head. "I don't know. I want this to be over, but I can't lose her. Waiting to leave is wearing on me."

"Arriving close to sunrise is a wise decision."

"I know." She had helped decide on that part of the plan. Sunrise was safety from the Strigoi.

"Do you want me to send any of my men?"

Janine shook her head. "No. Have them get the safehouse ready. We'll go there afterward, no matter what happens."

Their eyes met. Janine and Abe were both exhausted emotionally. It showed in their eyes, hollow and dim. The past months had worn on them. Their only child had been turned into a malevolent monster, and they were powerless to help her. This was the last chance they had to maybe bring Rose back.

Abe caught her hand and squeezed it. Janine squeezed back. He pulled her to him, and she rested her head against his chest. He rested his free hand against her back, holding her close.

There were no words left to say. They had gone through cycles of emotion since losing Rose. Sorrow, rage, despair, anger, numbness, resignation, guilt, determination. They had talked and cried. Janine had raged against the world and herself. Most days, Abe felt nothing at all. He had sacrificed a past with his child to keep her safe, only to lose her. He had spoken to Rose so few times, and if they failed to restore her, he would never speak to her again. Their only child.

They pulled apart a few minutes later. Janine's face was expressionless. Abe raised her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to her fingers. "Be safe," he said.

She gave him a sharp nod of her head. "I will."

Abe squeezed her hand again before letting go. "Do you want me to walk with you to the cars?"

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Sure."

* * *

Katrina ran her fingers over Violet's cheek. She studied her daughter's face. Bright blue eyes, soft pink cheeks, pale blonde hair falling in soft curls around her face. Violet's lips were spread in a broad smile as she squirmed in Katrina's arms.

"Mama, mama," the baby babbled.

"Yes, baby," Kat said. She kissed her daughter again and again. Violet wanted down, but Kat needed to hold her for just a few moments longer.

"Are you sure you want to go?" Andre asked from the door of the nursery.

Kat looked at him and squeezed their daughter again. "Yes. I have more experience than several of the volunteers. I'm one of the better fighters. And I need to do this. Rose is a friend, and she is family. I don't want to leave Violet, but this is the duty I swore my life to. I'm a soldier against the Strigoi. I'm not broken, even if I almost was."

Andre walked to her. "You're one of the bravest people I've ever met."

She gave him a small smile. "I know."

He laughed.

She kissed Violet again, closing her eyes and breathing in the scent of her daughter. Then she passed her to Andre. A few tears slipped down her cheeks. "If I don't come back, tell her about me. Tell her I love her."

"I…" Andre cleared his throat. "I will. I promise." He shifted Violet to one arm and wrapped another around Katrina's back to hug her. "She'll know you."

She trembled in his arms for a moment before drawing a deep breath and calming herself. He let her go. Katrina kissed Violet one more time before leaving the room. It was time to join the team.

* * *

Rhea held Eric's hand as they watched Lissa, Katrina, and Christian walk away from the house. She didn't want them to go. She didn't want Rose to be a Strigoi. They watched until they couldn't see the trio anymore.

"I want to keep her back," Eric said. "I know that I can't. I know that she's needed. I know that she wouldn't listen to me if I told her to stay."

Rhea just nodded.

And she prayed. She prayed with all her heart that her loved ones would come home safe.

* * *

Rose waited in the dark. Ivan was near her, also waiting. She thought that he might go up to the crawlspace of an attic if things got too difficult. She thought he was a coward. He thought he was wise.

They had ten other Strigoi spread throughout the mansion, all waiting in silence and darkness.

They had shut off the lights to the building from the circuit breakers. It would make seeing in the mansion hard for anyone Dimitri might bring with him. The Strigoi would be able to see perfectly. There were a few other traps designed for delay and minor injury. A net here. A hole in the floor there. It would make whoever came an easy target.

And whoever made it to the end of the second floor hall would face Rose and Ivan where they waited.

It was hours later when the sound of cars reached Rose's ears.

* * *

Lissa stepped out of the SUV along with the rest of their group. She looked around at the faces of the guardians and Moroi who had come on this mission. They all wore sober and tense expressions. The air was cold enough that their breath was faintly visible. The sky above was the dark blue-purple of the world a few hours before dawn. And the large house in front of them was bathed in darkness.

They had stopped down the driveway to the house where Rose claimed to live. From here they would go on foot, breaking off into assigned groups as needed.

Lissa was to stay with Janine and Christian. Adrian, standing nearby, was to stay with Dimitri and Tasha. The others had their own assigned partners.

She looked around, drawing a steadying breath. This was it. Lissa straightened the black jacket she wore. They were all wearing one. The jacket was equipped with a red light for illumination that wouldn't blind any of their allies.

Then there was the stake. Lissa's fingers wrapped around the cold metal of the stake in her jacket. It was already enchanted with spirit, and it was waiting.

Christian caught Lissa's free hand. She jumped at the touch, then calmed and squeezed his hand. She looked at him, seeing the worry in his eyes. She knew that she also looked worried, if not terrified. He had faced the Strigoi in battle before. She hadn't. She hadn't been this afraid since the night of the St. Vladimir's attack. So many people she cared about were in danger tonight.

Janine walked from group to group, issuing last-minute instructions. Lissa didn't understand them. She was too anxious for words to register.

The first group moved forward. They walked quickly and silently, scanning the area for threats. Their stakes were out, already prepared for a fight.

Lissa waited, drawing deep breaths.

The first scouting party finished their sweep of the perimeter in twenty minutes. Medha jogged part of the way back to them, made a gesture that everything was clear, then moved back to a position close to the building.

Everyone else moved forward, except for two, who were assigned to watch the vehicles. They walked slowly, quietly. The pavement beneath their feet made little sound against the soft soles of their sneakers. Two male guardians moved to the front of the group. One held a device to break open the door. The other was holding his stake at the ready. The second man touched the door handle gingerly, like it was poisonous. The handle turned easily, and the door pushed inward without hesitation.

The man holding the door ram set down the device and took out his own stake, then they entered the building. A second pair was close behind them. In small squads, they all filtered into the building. Lissa and Christian entered near the middle of the line.

They found themselves in an entry hall. It was large and tall. A grand staircase stood at the center of the room, tapering upward until it was shrouded in darkness. Doors and archways lined the room, leading to other parts of the mansion.

Leaders of different squads made motions to split up into different parts of the house. There was no need. From multiple doorways, Strigoi emerged. And chaos erupted.

* * *

The sound of fighting filtered up to Rose. Every instinct in her wanted to run toward the battle. To fight. To kill. To tear open flesh and drink her fill. It was almost irresistible, a siren's call. Her strength of will was the only thing keeping her in place. She could hear Ivan shifting nearby, also eager for blood. This was why so many of their kind died. This impulse to destroy was almost overwhelming to the senses.

But they fought their impulses and remained still as statues.

The sounds died down. Footsteps shuffled. Boards creaked.

A cry of pain. An expletive shouted. Someone had fallen into one of Rose's traps. Muttering.

Soft footfalls. A grunt of surprise. Fighting. Cries of pain. The shriek of a Strigoi dying.

Rose licked her lips. She wanted to run. Charge into the battle. Kill.

Doors opening. Another curse as someone hit another trap.

They were moving closer, step by cautious step. Multiple people. More than expected.

Fear.

Bloodlust.

Doors opened. Closer.

A locked door rattled. Whispers of debate among the mortal fighters.

Rose's hand tightened on her stake. If she had been mortal, her hand would have been slick with sweat. Some part of her missed fighting as a mortal. She missed the surge of adrenaline, and the racing of her heart. Though her senses were keen and her body ready to fight, it was far different from what she had known as a mortal.

Ivan was muttering something under his breath in Russian. He was probably swearing at her, which was normal for him.

Red lights moved outside the room, visible under the crack of the door. And the door opened.

Rose sprang at the first person to come through the door. Her fingers dug into the person's shoulders. She jabbed her stake into the person's belly before flinging them backward into the next person.

Things plunged into chaos after that. Rose caught sight of familiar faces in the battle, but only in snatches. The only light in the room came from dim red jacket lights the attackers wore.

"They're here," someone called.

Rose grappled with another person. They didn't try to stake her, which she found unusual. Rose lost her stake in the struggle.

Strong hands grabbed Rose's arms. She snarled in defiance and struggled against her captor, but the person in front also held a stake. Belatedly, Rose recognized Katrina. The face of the young guardian was fierce, determined, and fearless. Rose tried to kick her, but Katrina moved aside.

Rose was about to renew her attempts to attack her captor when sudden bright flames erupted in front of her. She shrieked in fear, but the fire didn't touch her. She twisted her arms, nails scratching the arms of the person holding her. But she didn't look at who it was because her eyes fell on the fire user, Tasha. And beyond Tasha, Lissa.

"No," Rose growled. She understood now. It couldn't be possible to restore a Strigoi to life, but what other reason would Lissa have to be here? Why else would there be so many guardians here? Rose hadn't thought about the impossible quest to restore a Strigoi since being awakened. It had seemed like a foolish idea which would amount to nothing. And yet, here was Lissa, holding a stake.

A mad impulse flew through her, and Rose spun, pushing whoever was holding her arms toward Tasha. She heard Tasha swear as the other person careened toward the flames. The sharp shadows cast by her flames died instantly. Rose dashed away from them, into the dark.

They pursued her.

Tasha brought up her fire again, and Rose would soon be cornered. Rose could probably use that to her advantage. After all, Tasha wouldn't want to catch the room on fire. Rose could do this; she could still win.

The building lights flickered on. Blinding everyone for a moment. Tasha, eyes already used to the light of the flames recovered quickly and surrounded Rose with a circle of fire.

Rose froze in place, panicked. No, no. Not like this.

Lissa drew closer as the flame circle grew tighter around Rose. The silver stake glittered in her hand. Rose could see the fear and hopeful determination on Lissa's face as she pushed her hands through the flames.

Shrieking, Rose felt the stake slip into her skin. Then up, piercing her heart.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Finally finished it! Sorry for the delay. September hit right when I reached the fight scene stuff, and I'm working on stuff with getting back into and moving forward with my grad school program... which made my brain sorta stop working. I'm really sorry that I didn't reply to any of your comments like I normally do. It was that sort of month. I did read them all, and I appreciate all of them!_

 _The next few chapters should be back to the every other week posting because I wrote the next 3 chapters last year, just needed to do some revisions so everything matches up. The chapters should be easy for me to write from here on._

 _Thank you for reading, following, and commenting! I'll see you again soon!_


	44. Rebirth

Light, blindingly brilliant, burst into the room as Lissa drove the stake into Rose's heart. A second later, light flashed again as Adrian plunged his stake into Ivan's heart.

Confused and disoriented, it was a few moments before everyone knew what was happening.

Rose opened her eyes, and Lissa saw that Rose's eyes were their normal brown. Rose's skin had also grown a few shades darker. The stake was on the ground. There was no wound.

"Liss," Rose whispered. Her eyes filled with tears.

Lissa wrapped her arms around Rose as tears blinded her too. "You're safe now. It worked."

Across the room, Adrian was grasping Ivan's arms as both knelt on the floor. Ivan gasped for breath. Disoriented and confused, he only understood that Adrian was his protector. Then flashes of memory came to him, and Ivan began sobbing. Adrian released him, allowing Ivan to slump to the floor.

"Is it safe?" Christian asked, a ball of flame in his hands.

Adrian shifted so that he was between Ivan and Christian. "Yes," he said firmly. "He's a Moroi again." A wave of dizziness threatened to overwhelm him. Restoring Ivan had been a huge feat of spirit.

Ivan looked up, seeing Christian. Past Christian, he could see Dimitri and Tasha with other guardians. A guardian and a Moroi knelt to tend another guardian with an abdominal wound. He looked across the room to where Lissa sat on the ground, arms wrapped protectively around Rose, while Janine Hathaway knelt beside them. A wave of guilt and horror flooded through him as more memories came to the surface. Ivan buried his face in his hands. He couldn't look at any of them.

Rose clung to Lissa, needing her more than air. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Shhh," Lissa said through her tears. Tears of relief and joy and heartache for her friend. "I forgive you. We love you. It worked. You're alive."

"Rose," Janine said softly. She rested a gentle hand on her daughter.

Rose turned to her mother and sobbed.

Janine embraced both girls, holding them close. Her voice was thick with emotion when she spoke. Her own tears fell as she held them. "You're back. That's all that matters."

Rose pulled back, drawing deep, shaky breaths. She saw Dimitri standing near Tasha. Other guardians and a few Moroi were in the room, obviously checking that they were safe. Rose couldn't bear the sight of Dimitri. She looked back at her mother, forcing memories of guardian training to the front of her mind.

"We can't stay here."

Janine's face hardened. "Are there more threats in the house?"

"There were ten, twelve, Strigoi." Rose drew a shaky breath, realizing her mother's confusion. "Twelve with me and Ivan. No one else. With the lights on you can see the traps."

Janine nodded, gently caressing her daughter's face. She stood a moment later, addressing the room. "There were twelve Strigoi. We need to know how many were killed."

Katrina stepped forward. "We killed at least six, but we can clear the house with the rest of the team." Her jacket was frayed, and blood was drying on her wrists. She looked between Ivan and Rose. "Are they…"

"They were restored, but we cannot stay here," Janine said firmly. She ordered four of the guardians to clear the house room by room. "The rest of us will remain here and guard the doors until you return."

"I'll go with them," Tasha said. Her voice wavered. She was looking at Ivan, but he did not look up from where he was kneeling, face in his hands.

Janine nodded. The five left the room, ready to face any threats they might encounter. Dimitri took a position near one of the doors. Eddie moved to another door. Christian walked to Lissa and Rose, kneeling near them.

"Lissa, how are you feeling? You and Adrian both look exhausted."

Lissa looked at him, smiling faintly. Rose shifted slightly, peering at him through the tangle of her hair. It had fallen down somewhere in the midst of the fight. "I'm about ready to pass out. I've never had to use so much healing power before." Rose squeezed Lissa's hand, and Lissa squeezed back.

Christian nodded. He gave Rose a lopsided smile. "I can't believe it worked."

Rose shut her eyes, shivering as she clung to Lissa. Lissa stroked Rose's hair with her free hand, as if she was a small child. "It's okay, Rose. It will be okay." She looked at Christian. "I think she needs space right now. We'll talk later."

"Sure," he said with a shaky nod. He brushed a light kiss across Lissa's lips before he began pacing the room.

Janine returned to Rose's side shortly after Christian stood. She didn't know what to do or say. Her emotions were running too high for her to know where to start processing anything. She pulled out her phone and sent a message to Abe, Eric, and Rhea.

 _-Rose and Ivan have been restored. Minor injuries on our side. Sweeping the building now for further threats. Will go to safe house soon._

Janine began pacing the room. A moment later, three responses came.

Rhea and Eric's replies were filled with elation and relief. Janine assured them that Lissa was safe and unharmed. She promised to call them as soon as everyone returned to the safe house. Janine glanced at Rose and Lissa. The girls were now seated in a corner of the room, holding each other with their eyes closed.

Abe's response surprised Janine. _-Food will be waiting when everyone arrives. I will have someone bring clothes for Rose and Ivan. How are you feeling?_

She stared at the phone for several long minutes before replying. _-I don't know. Stunned._

His response was quick. _-We can talk later._

Janine put her phone away and resumed pacing.

Dimitri watched the room and the doors. Too many thoughts and emotions were racing through him. Rose and Ivan were both restored from being Strigoi. After so many months of hunting Ivan, searching for a miracle, and then planning to either kill or restore his best friend and the woman he loved, Dimitri didn't know what to think. Something in him had broken after losing them, and it had only grown worse after seeing the video of them killing. Dimitri had spent the past few weeks forcing himself to prepare for the worst. He didn't know how to face them alive again.

Dimitri was glad that the restorations had been successful, but he couldn't imagine what it was like to be restored from being a monster. He knew that they had done terrible things. He had seen some of those things. He knew that they had lived off killing for months. He felt guilty, wondering if it would have been more merciful for them to die without being restored. Had Dimitri and his companions been selfish? Or would Rose and Ivan be grateful for having a second chance to live?

Dimitri looked at Rose. She and Lissa were huddled together on a sofa in one corner of the room. Both girls had their eyes closed. His heart ached at the sight of Rose. He felt love for her, but he also felt grief and guilt and confusion.

Dimitri looked across the room to where Ivan and Adrian were resting against a wall. They were talking in hushed tones. Ivan also evoked thoughts of grief and confusion. Dimitri had known Ivan better than anyone else in the world. That bond which had linked them for years had been violently severed. Even now, without the bond, Dimitri longed to help his friend. But how?

Would Tasha want to be with Ivan again? Would Ivan want to be with Tasha again?

Twenty minutes later, Tasha returned. The house was clear. They prepared to leave, heading down to the cars in a procession of guardians, Moroi, and two very traumatized former Strigoi.

Rose entered a car with Janine, Eddie, Christian, and Lissa. Ivan entered another car with Adrian and Medha. Dimitri and Tasha entered a third car. The other guardians and Moroi who had come filled the remaining seats of the other SUVs. The first three cars would be going to the safe house. The other cars would return to Court. Four guardians would remain at the scene until reinforcements could come and do cleanup and data collection.

Rose stared out the window the entire drive. She sat behind the passenger's seat, Lissa sat in the middle. The sun was out, shining over the hills and forests. She longed to feel the heat of it on her skin, but it was October and the air was cool.

Lissa fell asleep, her head resting on Christian's shoulder, one hand was laced with his while the other was held by Rose. Rose was calmed by Lissa's presence. Lissa had saved her from death. Twice.

Memories surfaced in Rose's mind. Images of things she had done and seen as a Strigoi. Bile rose in her throat. The thought of what she had done, of the lives she had taken, was overwhelming. She clasped her hands to her mouth.

"You might want to pull over," Christian said. "I think Rose is going to throw up."

Janine pulled over immediately. Rose opened her door, fighting with her seatbelt. She stumbled to the ground, bent over, and vomited. The liquid was dark, nearly black, and smelled like death. At the sight, taste, and smell of it, Rose gagged, retching harder. She cried, tears spilling from her eyes as she emptied her stomach of everything it held.

A bottle was pressed into her hands, and Rose brought it to her lips. She swirled the water in her mouth, spat it out, and then repeated the action. The bottle was soon empty. Rose crushed the plastic bottle in one hand, pressing her hands to her thighs.

Someone pressed another bottle against Rose's hand. She dropped the empty bottle and wrapped her hands around the new bottle. Glancing over, Rose saw her mother kneeling beside her.

Rose drew a few deep breaths and studied her mother's face. There was a bruise on Janine's left cheek. Her shirt was torn, and there was blood on her shirt and pants. Janine's eyes were wide with worry. Rose shifted closer to her mother, away from the vile substance on the ground. Rose rested her face against her mother's shoulder. Arms wrapped around her, warm and firm. Rose drew several shaking breaths before calming enough to pull away.

Opening the fresh bottle, Rose took a few tentative sips. The horrid taste still lingered in her mouth, but the water was clean, sweet, and fresh. It didn't occur to Rose until the bottle was half-finished that this was the first thing she had eaten or drunk since being restored. She held the bottle out, staring at it in wonder.

Janine smiled at her daughter. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah." Rose looked at the vomit and grimaced. Her stomach turned, but she didn't vomit again. She shuddered. "Where are we going?"

"A house that your father owns. He owns a few properties, and one is about an hour and a half from Court. It's warded and has a high wall around it, so we will be safe."

"Why not Court?" Rose knew that the place where she and Ivan had lived was only about an hour from Court.

"We wanted privacy for you and Ivan if this was successful. Some of the others who were with us went back to Court. We already reported back the details of the battle and another team will clear out the mansion."

Rose nodded, shivering. If they hadn't been successful, she would be permanently dead. Did she want to be alive again? "Thank you." She thought for a moment. She knew the guardians, knew that they would want to learn everything Rose and Ivan could share about the Strigoi. "You'll need to interview us, won't you?"

Janine nodded, but her expression was very gentle. "Yes, but that can wait. Right now, I'm just glad that you're alive again."

Again, tears welled in Rose's eyes. She hugged her mother tightly. Janine's arms were just as tight around Rose. "I love you. I missed you so much."

"I love you too, mom."

A few moments later, they pulled apart. Standing, they brushed dirt off bloody pants. They went back inside the car. As Janine pulled away from the side of the road, Rose settled into her seat. She could still taste vomit in her mouth. "Does anyone have gum?"

Christian shifted in his seat and pulled out a pack of mint gum. "Here."

Rose took it from him, returning his slight grin with the ghost of a smile. She put a piece in her mouth and chewed. The mint thankfully overpowered the taste of death. She handed him back the pack. "Thank you."

* * *

In the second car, Ivan watched everything. He watched Rose with a sense of guilt so raw that he wished that he could take away her pain. Everything she was going through was his fault. He pressed a hand to the window. Could he heal again? Could he heal her pain? No. Spirit healed physical injuries, and could heal spirit induced psychological damage, but Rose had just spent two months as a monster. Spirit couldn't heal the trauma of being a soulless murderer.

A hand rested on Ivan's shoulder. He looked over at Adrian, whose concern was evident. "I know what you're thinking, but it isn't your fault."

"Have you learned to read minds?" Ivan didn't conceal his bitterness.

Adrian laughed. "No, not yet. Did you know that some spirit users can? I read auras and I'm pretty good at reading faces. Your expression gave it away. I know that the two of you were living in a nightmare for months, but you turning her is not your fault."

Ivan looked away, watching Janine wrap Rose in a tight embrace. Not his fault? He had abducted Rose and turned her into a Strigoi. They had murdered people together. They had planned to kill their own friends, friends who had just restored their lives.

Ivan looked behind them to the third car. Dimitri was out of the car, looking at Rose and Janine. Ivan had no idea how to have a conversation with Dimitri. Where would he start? I'm sorry for dying? I'm sorry for murdering your girlfriend and turning her into one of the things you were trained to destroy? I'm sorry for fucking your girlfriend?

Yeah, that last one would go over really well.

Ivan buried his face in his hands again. Why couldn't he just be dead?

* * *

The sun rose higher as they drove. Rose watched the sun with a sense of awe. She watched the rays of light caress her skin and felt a surge of joy that it caused her no discomfort. She was alive again, whatever that meant.

Eventually, they arrived at a road which snaked its way up a mountain. They stopped at a gate where Janine lowered her window and pressed a button on a control panel. She spoke briefly over an intercom, and the gate opened. They continued down a long driveway toward a massive house. The cars stopped in a parking circle at the front steps.

Three men emerged from the house, one stepped forward to greet Janine. "Guardian Hathaway, Mister Mazur is out at the moment. He will return in a few hours. Rooms are prepared for everyone, and clothes were bought for Rose and Lord Zeklos."

"Thank you Tarin," Janine replied. "I think we will take Rose and Ivan to their rooms. Abe said that there would be food for everyone?"

"In the kitchen," Tarin replied.

Janine turned. Everyone was out of the cars, though Rose clung to Lissa near their car, and Ivan was similarly hidden beside Adrian at their car. "There is food in the kitchen. Tarin, please escort Lord Zeklos to his room. I believe that Lord Ivashkov will be accompanying him. Lady Dragomir and I will accompany Rose to her room."

Tarin nodded. Ivan and Adrian walked forward, following him into the house. Tasha and Dimitri both watched Ivan as he walked in the house. Dimitri's gaze turned toward Rose, but she didn't look toward him.

Everyone else began walking into the house behind Tarin. Tasha walked near the end of the group with Dimitri. Dimitri stopped near Rose.

"Rose."

Rose briefly looked at him before she looked down and began trembling.

Dimitri took a few steps closer, but she shrank back, practically hiding behind Lissa and Christian.

"No," Rose whispered. "No, no, no."

Dimitri stopped. "Rose, I understand that you aren't ready to talk to me." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I want you to know that when you are ready to talk to me, I'm here for you. I am glad that you are alive again. I missed you so much."

Hearing the heartache in Dimitri's voice, Rose looked at him. She bit her trembling lip as tears slipped down her cheeks. "Soon," she whispered.

The flicker of a smile ghosted across his lips as he nodded. Dimitri followed the others into the house. Janine, Lissa, Christian, and Rose were the last to enter the house.

"Christian, you should go with the others." Lissa said.

"Are you sure?"

Lissa nodded. "Yes."

"Both of you can eat while I take Rose to her room," Janine said. She turned to Rose. "Unless you would rather not leave Lissa?"

Rose swallowed. Parting from Lissa seemed terrifying, but she trusted her mother. She also knew that Lissa needed to eat. Rose knew that the healing had wiped Lissa. "Go. I'm fine with my mom."

Lissa looked at Rose for a long moment. "I'll come see you after I'm done eating."

Rose nodded. Lissa kept watching her anxiously as Christian led her away. Rose continued to follow her mother through the house. Eventually, Janine stopped at a door and opened it.

"This is your room."

Rose stepped inside. The room was very white. The furniture and bedding were all white. There were windows, curtained by sheer white curtains. The carpet was a warm beige color, patterned with white flowers. There was a television on one wall, across from the bed. It resembled a hotel room.

"There is a bathroom through the door to your left."

Rose nodded numbly, looking around the room.

"Do you want anything?"

Rose turned toward her mother. "I don't know." She looked down at her ripped, burned, and bloody clothes. "A shower?"

"There is clothing for you. I'll get some out for you while you shower."

Nodding, Rose walked toward the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Rose touched the objects in the room with mild interest. She found a towel and bathrobe and laid them on the counter. She saw that the shower was already stocked with shampoo, conditioner, and soap. Grabbing a washcloth, she turned on the water. She watched it for a few moments before stripping and stepping inside.

Rose felt the water sluicing down her body. Blood and dirt stained the water as it fell down her body and into the drain. She began shaking again. She sank to her knees, crying, letting the hot water wash away the remains of her past life.

Eventually, she found the strength to move. She washed her body and hair, shutting off the water when she was clean. She toweled herself dry before wrapping the robe around herself and wrapping the towel around her hair. She found a new toothbrush and toothpaste and proceeded to brush her teeth until her gums bled.

Rose ran a finger along her now clean teeth. No fangs. She studied her haunted brown eyes and the pale almond tones of her skin. Then she ran her hands along her skin. She opened the robe and studied her naked body in the mirror. Scars that had been part of her body for years were gone. There were no scars from her battles as a Strigoi. There was no mark from where Lissa's stake had punctured her heart.

Shuddering, Rose wrapped herself in the robe again and left the bathroom. There was clothing laid out for her on the bed and food on a table. Rose didn't know where her mother had gone, but she suspected that Janine wasn't far away. Rose drew a deep breath. It was nice to be alone for the moment. She picked up the clothes and walked back into the bathroom in case someone walked into her room. She slipped on the panties, shorts, and tank top, wrapped the robe around herself again and returned to the main room.

Rose took a seat on the bed and began brushing out her long hair. It felt normal, soothing. She stared at the food tray. Could she eat normal food? She remembered the bottle of water she had drunk in the car. She wanted to try.

Standing, she shrugged off the robe and walked to the tray. She smiled a little at the food. There was no lack of variety on the tray. Someone had found her favorite foods and put them together. A cheeseburger, a slice of pizza, an apple, a donut, chips, cookies, a banana, cubed cheese, cubed ham, a granola bar, celery, and carrots. There was also soda, juice, and water to drink.

She picked up a note off the tray and read it.

 _I thought that you might need some breathing room. If you need anything, there will be someone outside your room who can get me or Lissa. I'll be back soon._

 _-Mom_

Rose smiled a bit. She did need breathing room. Rose set down the note and returned her attention to the tray.

She poked at the food with a wary finger until she settled on the banana. She picked it up, opened the peel, and tentatively brought it to her lips. She took a tiny bite. It tasted sweet and clean. She chewed it for a while, marveling at the flavor for a long time before swallowing. She took a few more tentative bites, savoring each one in a similar manner before she set the banana down. She tried a few more foods, memorizing each flavor as if it was her first time tasting it. She didn't touch the meat. Something about the scent of meat made her stomach turn.

When Rose was done, she returned to the bed and began flipping through channels on the television. She settled on a sports channel, idly wondering when Lissa or her mom would return. She hoped that they would eat and shower. Rose thought that they deserved a break after all they had done.

Rose's thoughts turned to Ivan. How was he? What was he thinking? Feeling? Her thoughts of Ivan flitted to thoughts of Dimitri. The way he had looked at her, eyes full of love and concern, seared her like an open flame. How could he love her after all she had done? She had murdered people, hundreds of people - men, women, children, Moroi, dhampirs, and humans - all dead at her hands and fangs. Even if he could forgive her for being a monster, how could he love her when he learned that she had slept with Ivan?

She walked to the window and looked out, watching the sun cast its glow across the landscape. What would happen now?

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thank you for reading, following, and commenting! I'll see you again soon!_

 _I'm having fun writing about October where I live while it's October (a bit more in a couple chapters). Probably going to post pictures soon on my facebook page for what it looks like in the area. :)_


	45. Desperation

After leaving Rose, Lissa went to the feeders. She needed food. She needed sleep. She needed to see Rose again. After feeding, Lissa joined guardians and a few Moroi fighters in the kitchen. No one was saying much. More than one person regarded Lissa with an awed expression.

Lissa found a corner where she could eat her sandwich in peace. After setting her tray down, Lissa looked at the healing burns on her skin. She touched the healing pendant which hung around her neck. The pendants had been made by Sonya and Robert. Almost everyone in their team had one. They had helped immensely. Lissa was also quite certain that Tasha had manipulated the fire to not harm as much as it could have.

Dimitri joined her a few minutes later. She assumed that Christian and Tasha would also join them shortly.

"How is she?" Dimitri asked.

Lissa chewed on her sandwich thoughtfully. She took longer than necessary to swallow, delaying her answer. "I'm not sure. She cried a lot and stared blankly away from everyone, but she hasn't said much. She's hurting." Lissa looked at Tasha and Christian, who had joined them.

"When I healed her, I could feel so much darkness and pain. It was like doing surgery to her soul. Physically, she is a dhampir again. Emotionally ... I don't know how long it will be before she is herself again, if ever. I can't imagine the life she and Ivan lived for months. Waking up from that nightmare, remembering what they did …" She shuddered.

"I think they'll recover," Christian said. "Sure, it'll take time, but they're both tough."

Tasha spoke quietly after him. "We all need time." Tasha was looking at her hands, twisting her engagement ring absently on its finger.

They lapsed into silence, quietly eating their meals. Adrian joined them a short time later. He turned a chair around, resting his chin on the backrest.

"I have never been this exhausted in my life," he said without preamble. Turning to Lissa, he smiled. "We did the impossible, cousin."

She nodded. "We did. How's Ivan?"

Adrian sighed. "Depressed and guilty. He doesn't want visitors. I asked who he wanted to see, and right now he only wants me or Lissa around. I sent food to his room. Hopefully he eats something. I asked if he wanted a feeder, but that was probably the last thing I should have said."

"What happened?" asked Dimitri.

Adrian grimaced. "He reacted like I was asking him to drink poison. I had to use compulsion to calm him down. He doesn't want blood."

Their faces all darkened. If Ivan continued to refuse blood, he would starve to death. "I'll ask him again tomorrow," Adrian promised. "For now, he wants to be alone. I'm going to sleep, but I wanted to check in. How's Rose?"

"About the same," Janine said as she took a seat. "She was in the shower when I left. I sent food to her, so hopefully she eats something."

Lissa stood. "I'll go to her."

"You should sleep," Christian said.

Lissa gave him a quick kiss. "I will. I promise."

Adrian stood too. "I'll walk with you. See all of you tomorrow."

Lissa and Adrian walked together from the room. "What are we going to do about Ivan?" Lissa asked.

"For now, we wait. He will be fine for a few days on regular food. That should give us enough time to convince him that he needs blood. I don't blame him though. After seven months of killing people, I wouldn't want to drink blood again either."

"I know. He is Moroi, though. He needs to drink blood again."

"He will, just not today."

They walked up a flight of stairs and parted in the hall. Lissa walked to Rose's room and smiled tiredly at the guardian who sat outside the door before knocking.

"Yeah?"

"It's Lissa."

"Come in."

Lissa entered the room and found Rose staring out the window. "Enjoying the view?"

"Yes and no. I am enjoying the sun. It's weird, seeing the sun again. My vision is different. I guess it's the way I used to see, but I don't know. Memories from before I was awa… turned, before I was turned, are strange. Everything is so muddled."

"Do you think something happened to your memory?"

Rose turned, shaking her head. "No, nothing like that. I have two months of memories without any sleep. I feel like I'm waking up. Everything before now feels like a dream or a nightmare. I can't make sense of it all right now." She sighed, taking a seat on the bed.

"It will take time. You were only restored a few hours ago."

"I know."

Lissa sat beside Rose. "You ate?"

"Yeah, a little bit. It's weird. I remember eating all of those foods, but tasting them now … it's like the first time. There are so many things I forgot as a … as a Strigoi." A tremor shook Rose.

Lissa took Rose's hand in her own and squeezed. "Give yourself time. I'm supposed to ask about visitors. Is there anyone you want to see or not see?"

"I… right now I don't know if I can handle more than you or my mom."

"That's fine. Adrian said that Ivan doesn't want anyone other than him or me to visit."

"How is Ivan?"

Lissa looked at Rose curiously. There was a softness to her voice when she asked about Ivan. "I haven't seen him yet, and I only spoke to Adrian briefly. He's hurting right now."

Rose nodded. "How is Dimitri?"

"Stunned, worried. After you were turned, he was in a dark place. We threw ourselves into finding Robert Doru. We found him in Nevada. He lived just outside Las Vegas. He's here now. We brought him to this house in case you looked for him."

Rose gave a short, bitter laugh.

"What's funny?"

"We were there, Ivan and I. There is a Strigoi club in Las Vegas."

"A Strigoi club?"

"Yeah. It's easy to lure people inside places when they are drunk." She turned to Lissa, tears glistening on her cheeks. "How can you forgive me for what I did? I killed so many people. I hunted your family. I …"

"It wasn't you. You were turned into a Strigoi. Strigoi don't have souls. The things you did as one of those monsters, you never would have done under other circumstances. It's not your fault."

"I don't know if I can believe that."

Lissa pressed her lips together in a thin line, trying to think of a way to change Rose's mind. "Do you blame Ivan for killing you?"

"No!" Fierce determination showed on Rose's face. "He …"

"He what?"

"He was turned against his will. I … I can't blame him for it."

"If you don't blame him, if you forgive him, maybe you can also forgive yourself."

"I …" Rose sighed. "Maybe I can. It will take time, though."

Lissa wrapped her arms around Rose, squeezing tight. "We have all the time you need."

They held one another in silence for a long time before Rose spoke softly. "Did it hurt for the bond to break?"

Lissa pulled away, frowning slightly. She replied slowly and thoughtfully. "No, it didn't hurt. I could feel it though. It was a quiet sensation, like cutting thread with scissors. I knew that you were gone."

"Liss ... I'm so sorry."

Lissa took Rose's hands again and squeezed. "I'm just glad that you are back with me again."

* * *

Lissa and Rose fell asleep on Rose's bed. The sun was still up when Rose woke, sweating in terror from her dreams. She didn't wake Lissa, even when she got up. She hurried to the bathroom, flipping on the lights in panic. She checked her eyes in the mirror - still brown. Drawing a few deep breaths, Rose left the bathroom.

Not wanting to disturb Lissa and not wanting to sleep again, Rose decided to venture from the room. She needed to walk and clear her head. Finding flip flops and a hoodie, she left her room. To her surprise, Eddie was standing near her door.

"Are you my jailor?" Rose asked with a wry smile.

Eddie grinned at her. "No. We just have people watching your room and Ivan's, in case you need anything."

"Can I go outside?"

"Sure, but I should probably walk with you for that. Don't want you to get lost."

"That's fine."

They walked side by side down the long hall. Rose observed everything, taking in the sight of this strange place. Lissa had told Rose that it belonged to Abe. Rose wasn't sure what to think about that.

"It seems like you and Lissa and my mom all know this place."

"We've been here for a month, more or less, preparing."

"And this house belongs to my father."

"Yeah. It's weird to think that you didn't know your father before graduation, but he's been helping us since the summer."

Eddie opened a glass door, and they stepped outside onto a patio. The patio was lined by a white, concrete balustrade. Steps led down from the patio to an immaculate garden. Though some of the plants were dying with the season, many still clung to life.

"Beautiful." Rose's gaze traced over everything. It was so peaceful here, so quiet.

"Yeah," Eddie agreed. "It is. Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No, please stay with me."

"Of course."

Rose walked toward the garden. She breathed deeply, taking in the scents of autumn. The scent of dying leaves, the coolness of the air, and the distant smell of woodsmoke filled her lungs.

"Lissa stopped looking into colleges, didn't she? And she stopped trying to travel?" Rose looked at Eddie, serious and sad.

"She prioritized healing you. A lot of people did."

Rose sat on a stone bench, feeling the grass prickle against her feet. "Am I really worth it?" She held up a hand to silence his protests. "I know that all of you love me and wanted to restore me. I also know that I was a threat to the Dragomirs and needed to be stopped. I just … I can't understand why none of you seem bothered by the fact that I was a monster half a day ago. I killed a lot of people. I enjoyed it."

Eddie took a seat beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Because we know that you aren't a Strigoi now, and that you never would have done the things you did under normal circumstances. Also, there are definitely people who are worried about you and Ivan. There are people who doubt that the transformations are real. We've heard a few reports back from Court that made us more certain that keeping both of you here is the best choice. The queen is more than a little upset with us for keeping Adrian here."

"You all believed that we were restored pretty quickly."

"Robert Doru explained what would happen and how to do it. Plus the light and the way Lissa and Adrian protected you after you were staked were a pretty good confirmation. The fact that your eyes aren't red, and you can sit in the sun, and you don't have fangs, are all pretty good evidence that you were restored, too. Also, I'm pretty sure that Strigoi don't feel remorse."

"They don't."

Eddie squeezed her a little before dropping his arm. "I called Mason to tell him we were successful."

Rose looked at him and caught the glint of amusement in his eyes. "And?"

He laughed. "I have never heard him cheer so loudly in my life. He was very excited to know you were alive again, and that none of us got killed in the process."

Rose smiled, shaking her head a little. Then she sighed. "Did everyone make it out of the house ok? I know that I staked someone."

"There were injuries, but everyone is alive."

Rose nodded, drawing a deep breath. Then her eyes widened as another memory flashed in her mind. "David and, and …"

"They're fine," Eddie soothed. He took one of her hands in his and squeezed. "They survived and recovered."

Rose closed her eyes, tilting her head back. She didn't let go of his hand. "I'm a monster."

"You were. You aren't now."

Rose shuddered. Even though she was nowhere close to okay, her heart was beginning to feel a little lighter.

* * *

The next day, Rose met with Janine in an office down the hall from Rose's room. It was time to start on the reports of Rose's experiences for the guardians. Janine sat at a slim white desk with a laptop in front of her. Rose was curled into a plush white chair across from her.

"This place is huge," Rose said. Of course, so was the place she had been living for the better part of the past two months.

Janine made a sound of affirmation then sipped her coffee. Rose took a few swallows from her own cup of tea. She had tried coffee again and discovered that she still disliked the taste just as much as she had before being turned. This confirmed to Rose that her new found aversion to meat was all in her head, which she had already suspected.

"You can stop at any time or pass on a question if you wish," Janine said.

"Okay." Rose drew in a deep breath and released it slowly. "What does everyone want to know?"

"Many things." Janine gave a weary sigh. "Knowing where to start is the hard part. They said that several phones and laptops were recovered from the house, can you provide passwords to them?"

"For most of them, yeah. Ivan has the others. You should probably know who the humans we had working for us are, too."

"That would be useful. How did you know information at Court?"

Rose grimaced. "We had a couple spies who had access — humans, in fact." She proceeded to mention names and addresses.

"They opened up a locked room in the house. Can you tell me what the notes are about? And the maps?"

"Ivan planned to attack Court one day. The notes and maps show humans, Strigoi, Moroi, dhampirs, and such. He made notes about everyone and everything."

Janine arched an eyebrow. "And such?"

Rose chewed on her lip and shuddered. Had she really seen monsters and myths? Had she really talked to them? The information was on the tip of her tongue, but she could feel a resistance to talking about it. A resistance that some part of her dimly recognized as compulsion. The small hairs on her body prickled with a chill at that thought. She swallowed reflexively. "Um, you know how vampires are myths to humans …?"

"Yes."

She swallowed again. "We're not the only myths in the world. We met some … things. They don't care about vampires, at all. But I think they would be displeased if their existence was announced. Maybe don't write about them. The numbers and notes related to them should probably be destroyed and forgotten."

Janine stared blankly at her daughter for a long time. "You're afraid of them."

A strangled sound escaped Rose's mouth. "Of immortals who are stronger and older than anything we understand? Of course. But they won't do anything to the Moroi. They don't care about us. They despise Strigoi, and some feed on humans. Other than that ..." Rose shrugged. "We're rather irrelevant to them, and we need to remain irrelevant to them."

Janine swallowed the lump in her throat. "Okay."

"Mom, other than taking care of the human spies, you know that I can do this on my own? I know how to fill out a report. And I can explain the most important details quickly. The rest …" Rose shuddered. "I think it will be easier for me to write. Then you and everyone else can read it."

Janine closed her eyes for a moment and swallowed hard. "Are you sure?"

Rose nodded. "Yeah." She didn't want to do it, but she knew it could help the guardians. Right now anything she could do that was useful seemed like the best option.

Janine stood and motioned to the laptop. "There is a document with questions in it that they want answered. They'll also want a summary of what happened … when you're ready."

Rose stood too, a shiver running through her at the thought of remembering what she had done. So much of it was a horrifying jumble of blood and death. She set her tea down on the desk as she moved.

Before letting Rose take her place at the laptop, Janine embraced her daughter. Rose hugged back, tight and fierce. Moments like this, feeling the anguish and love of family and friends was one of the things keeping Rose going. She was loved. Everyone had sacrificed much of themselves for her. Didn't Rose owe them this new life?

"Is there anything you need?" Janine asked eventually.

"No, not really." Rose thought for a few moments. "More clothing."

"We can get you some. Do you want the clothes from … from the house?"

Rose shrugged. "They fit. I can throw out anything I don't want."

Janine nodded, then hesitated. "Who does the house belong to?"

Rose sat in the desk chair, swiveling on it. "I think it's Ivan's. He would know. It's either in his name or … or Sofia's." Rose trembled at the name. She slipped her hands into her hoodie's sleeves and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Who is Sofia?"

Rose shook. Janine was about to let it go, assuming it was something Rose wasn't ready to talk about, when Rose finally answered. "She's a Strigoi — a two hundred year old Strigoi. She planned the school attack. She took Mason's hand. She's …" Rose swallowed hard. "She's terrifying. Even as one of them, I was terrified of her."

"The small woman who was with you and Ivan in August?"

Rose cocked her head to the sided questioningly and nodded."How did you know?"

Janine's lips pressed together in a thin line. She was visibly trying to control her emotions, though the twisting thoughts beneath the mask were fighting to the surface. "There was surveillance footage of one location. Most of us watched it."

Rose's face crumpled, and she buried her face in her hands. Janine walked to her and stroked her hair. Rose wrapped her arms around her mother's waist and buried her face against her stomach. Janine held her until she quieted.

"I wish I could take away your pain," Janine whispered. "I wish I had been there for you more. I had nothing when you were turned. You are what gives me purpose. I love you."

Rose squeezed her mom tighter before letting go. "I love you, too. I'm okay now. I can write."

"Okay. I'll be back to check on you in an hour. Oh, and your father wanted you to know that when you're ready, he wants to see you."

"Okay. Soon."

The women both made motions of acknowledgment before Janine turned to leave. Drawing a deep breath, Rose looked at the laptop and began to write.

An eternity later, there was a knock on the door. Rose rubbed at her eyes, as if that would make it seem like she hadn't been crying. She had tried to make it through a summary of her experiences without crying, but it had proven impossible. The things she had done were the stuff of nightmares. Today, in this moment, she wasn't certain that her life had been worth saving. If anything she wrote could help end the Strigoi threat, then maybe she could begin to atone for all the evil she had done.

The door opened a minute later, though Rose had said nothing. She had expected it to be her mom or Lissa, but it was Medha. She was carrying a small tray with a tea kettle and tea biscuits on it. She set the tray on the table, giving Rose a small smile.

"I didn't expect you." Rose was rather surprised, though not displeased, by Medha's presence.

Medha wore a wry expression as she closed the door. "You need tea, and no one here makes it correctly."

That earned the softest breath of laughter from Rose. "How do they make tea wrong?"

"They just do."

Rose accepted the cup Medha offered and wrapped her hands around the warm cup. The warmth felt good against her hands. She sipped it and sighed. "You really are good at making tea."

"It's part of being English," Medha replied.

Again, the ghost of a laugh came from Rose's lips. "Probably. Why did you come and not my mom or Lissa?"

"I told your mom to get some sleep. She's been awake for over a day and has barely slept since we became partners."

"Partners?" Rose gave a start. "My mom is your new partner?"

"Mhm. She requested the change to Lissa when you …" The neutral mask slipped, and Medha paused before continuing. "Well, we've been partners since then."

"I see."

Medha put her hands behind her back, holding them together to remain calm and controlled. "She didn't blame me for letting you go out alone. But I wonder … I wonder what could have happened if I had told you not to leave that night."

Rose's fingers flexed around the teacup, and she closed her eyes. "I would have gone stir crazy, and Ivan would have gotten to us one way or another. It's not your fault. None of it is anyone's fault. Strigoi exist …" Rose's thoughts and words strayed. She shrugged wearily. "They just exist. They turn people into monsters, and they kill. I don't know why."

"No one does. Are you okay with having been restored?"

Rose looked at Medha. The others hadn't asked her that. Lissa and Janine had both wanted Rose back, which Rose understood. She understood all the work and sacrifice put into restoring her. But no one had asked if Rose wanted it. Maybe it was because Medha wasn't as close to her as the others, but Rose felt comfortable telling her the truth.

"I don't know," she said finally. "I want to be okay with it for everyone, but I don't know."

Medha made a sound of acknowledgment and sipped her own cup of tea.

"Should I be okay with it?"

Medha took a few slow sips before setting down her cup and answering. "I think you should figure out how you feel regardless of how anyone else feels. It's only been a day, but I feel like they're all going to coddle you, and you'll try to please them. But you're not going to heal until you feel all of it. It's okay if you aren't okay."

Rose drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly through her nose before nodding in agreement.

* * *

Three days after being restored, Ivan was still refusing to drink blood. He barely ate regular food. He barely left his bed. He refused to talk to anyone except for Adrian and Lissa, not that he said much to either of them.

Rose was improving little by little. She spent time with her mother, Lissa, Eddie, Christian, Medha, and Adrian. She ate, but still refused to eat meat. She had been given fried chicken for lunch on her second day and nearly vomited at the sight of the bones. Her meals were quickly changed to a vegetarian cuisine, which suited her new tastes perfectly.

Dimitri asked daily about the status of Rose and Ivan. He was given updates on both of them, but was still not allowed to visit either of them. Although he found it frustrating, he also respected their need for space. Dimitri tried imagining himself in their shoes and thought that he would want time alone were he in their position.

Tasha spoke very little to anyone. She was lost in her own thoughts, not ready to talk with anyone about the turmoil of her inner world. She had needed to believe that this dream of restoring Ivan was impossible. She had needed to believe him dead to stay sane. Now that he was truly alive again, she didn't know what to think.

Janine acted as the intermediary between the people residing at the house and Court. Too many people were curious about the restorations of Rose and Ivan. Too many people wanted to see them. Too many people wanted to ask them questions. Janine answered what she could. Rose had volunteered a great amount of information about Strigoi that was passed on to the Guardian Council. The Dragomirs wanted to see Rose again, but Lissa had called them and explained that Rose simply wasn't ready.

Lissa gathered her courage on the third day to ask Rose if she could help with Ivan. Rose had asked about Ivan every day, and her concern for him was clear to everyone. They were in one of the lounges near Rose's room when Lissa asked Rose for help.

"Rose, I was wondering if you would be willing to help us with Ivan."

"Sure, what do you want?"

"Just for you to talk to him. He still isn't drinking blood. I thought that you might be able to help more than Adrian or I."

Rose stood from the couch where she was nestled, watching television. "Sure. Lead the way."

Lissa led Rose through the winding corridors of the house to Ivan's room. A guard was outside the door. Without knocking, Rose let herself into the room, shutting it behind her. Only one light was on in the room, casting a dim glow on everything. Rose could see that it was exactly like her room, but the carpets and wallpaper were blue. Ivan lay under his covers, facing the opposite wall.

"You aren't asleep," she said. "I saw you move when I closed the door."

He sat up, confusion crossing his face, then pain. "Rose? Why are you here?"

She gave a hollow laugh before sitting on the corner of his bed. "Because you aren't eating. They asked me to come talk to you."

"I am eating."

"You need blood."

He grimaced. "What if I kill the feeder?"

"You won't."

"I … I don't know if I can trust myself. And don't argue with me about that. I've agreed to eat other food, but I can't trust that I won't kill someone again."

Rose narrowed her eyes in thought. "Would you kill me again?"

"No! What kind of question is that?"

Rose tossed her hair over one shoulder, exposing her neck. "Drink from me then. Only this once," she added as he began to protest. "Drink from me. When you don't kill me, you won't have an excuse to starve yourself anymore."

"Are you sure?" He looked at her uneasily, but he was starving and needed what she was offering.

"Yes."

Tentatively, Ivan shifted closer to Rose as she moved closer to him. He leaned toward her, brushing his lips against her neck. She shivered, lips parting slightly. He opened his mouth, and bit. She gasped at the pain, at the memory of his first bite. Bliss quickly replaced any other thoughts. He could have killed her again, and she wouldn't have cared at all.

Ivan pulled away. The ache of starving himself of blood had eased. He rested his hands on either side of Rose's shoulders as she came down from the high of his bite. "Are you alright?"

She giggled, high on the endorphins. "Yes, just dizzy. How are you feeling?"

"Not hungry anymore. Thank you."

"No problem, now you just need to eat regularly from the feeders."

"I know. I will."

She gave him a small smile, and then realized how close they still were. Her heart beat a little faster, heat flooded to her cheeks. Their eyes met, and there was an uncomfortable familiarity in the way he looked at her. Swallowing hard, she stiffened. He pulled away, embarrassed.

"We should talk," Rose said quietly.

"I know. Have you told anyone about what we did?"

"I haven't told anyone that we were … lovers doesn't feel like the right word."

"Fucking?" he suggested.

"Yes, but I don't want to break it like that to anyone either." She groaned. Standing, she grabbed a tissue and pressed it to the healing wound on her neck. "Dimitri keeps asking about both of us, but I don't have the heart to face him. I don't know what to say. The only time I saw him, I could see how much he cares about me, but I know this will hurt him."

"You could tell him the truth. If I can be honest with you, I never saw you as a potential sexual partner until we were both Strigoi. I never wanted you in that way, especially with having a fiancée and Dimitri being interested in you."

"I never saw you that way, either. Even as a Strigoi, I was always wondering when you would turn on me or when I would get rid of you."

He gave her a brittle smile. "I thought the same way."

"I know, which is why I kept having sex with you. I felt that it was a way to keep you interested."

"It was."

She sat on the bed again. "I don't know how to tell him. He spent so many months searching for you. I feel like no one is telling me the truth about how he was after I was turned."

"I ruined both of your lives."

"No, you didn't. It wasn't your fault that you turned me."

"You really believe that?"

"Of course, I do. If I didn't, I wouldn't have let you drink from me now. I don't blame you for anything. Realizing that I can forgive you is helping me to forgive myself for all the damage I caused."

"You make it sound so easy."

She laughed bitterly. "It's not easy. I barely sleep. When I do sleep, the nightmares are so horrible that I wake up in a cold sweat. I keep looking in the mirror to make sure my eyes are brown, and I keep remembering everything we did. I swear, if you don't fight through this with me, I will lose my mind."

Ivan held out his hand to her. Rose accepted it and squeezed. "I won't give up," he promised.

"Have you left your room yet?"

"No, not yet."

"Then come for a walk with me."

Ivan agreed. "Give me a few minutes to change."

"I'll wait for you in the hallway."

Rose stepped outside and gave Lissa a small smile. The guard had left. "He's fine. We're going to go for a walk."

Lissa's eyes fell on Rose's neck. "He fed from you?"

"He was afraid he wouldn't stop. I asked if he would kill me again, and he was horrified that I would even ask. He'll use the feeders from now on, but I wanted to try."

"I'm glad that it worked."

"Me too."

Ivan joined them a short time later, and the trio took a walk around the building. They walked in the gardens for an hour, and then returned Ivan to his room. Rose and Lissa both promised to visit again the following day. Rose and Lissa walked to Rose's room and settled on the bed together.

Lissa was pressing her lips together in thought, which Rose noticed. "What's on your mind?"

"The way you and Ivan act around each other ... I don't know what it is, but I feel like there's something you haven't told anyone."

Rose's face fell. She looked away from Lissa. "Yeah, there is. I ... So, Strigoi are different than we were always taught. They have beating hearts. They breathe air. They have reflections. And ... um ... they can have sex." Rose looked at Lissa again.

Lissa's eyes were wide in shock and disbelief. It took her a few minutes to comprehend all of Rose's words. "You and Ivan ...? You had sex as Strigoi?"

Rose looked away and nodded.

"Wow ... now I know why neither of you want to see Dimitri. Are you, well, are you interested in being with Ivan?"

Rose's reply was quick and certain. "No. You have to understand that sex for us was a bargaining tool. Strigoi don't love. They aren't capable of love. Everything, absolutely everything, is about power. Ivan and I were both using sex to keep each other loyal. We would have turned against one another whenever it was most useful. I thought about killing him more than once and know he thought about getting rid of me frequently."

"That's horrible."

"Yeah, it is. But Ivan was my friend before all of this. He is also the only person in the world who knows what it's like to be restored from being a Strigoi. I'm terrified to lose him. I don't want to go through this alone."

Lissa regarded Rose with gentle compassion. "That makes sense."

Rose sighed. "I want to talk to Dimitri again, but I don't know if I'm ready to break his heart. Can you keep this a secret?"

"Of course."

* * *

The next day, Rose and Ivan met in Ivan's room again. He was livelier, having made his bed and turned on his lights instead of wallowing in darkness and despair. She took a seat on the only chair in the room after entering. She began fidgeting in her seat almost immediately.

He observed her posture and anxious movements critically. "You're preparing yourself for something unpleasant?"

She nodded. "We need to talk to Dimitri. I want to tell him everything."

He gave a short laugh. "I doubt that it will go well."

"He deserves to know what happened. We've been restored for four days. I'm tired of waiting. It's not like any of it's going to be better if we wait. Plus, I can't imagine what this is like for him or for Tasha. You need to talk to her as well."

Ivan raked a hand through his light brown hair. "You know she hasn't asked about me?"

Rose shrugged. "She probably gets reports from everyone about you. She also had a hard time handling your death. She seemed very detached from it all."

"Well," he drew a deep breath, "I guess we should get him."

"Lissa," Rose called loudly.

Lissa opened the door. "Yes?"

"Can you get Dimitri for us?"

Lissa's eyes went wide. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Ivan said. "We're ready."

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thank you for reading, following, and commenting! I'll see you again soon!_


	46. Hope

Dimitri glanced at his phone in surprise. "Yes, Lissa?"

"Hey, Ivan and Rose want to talk to you. They're in Ivan's room."

"I'll be there shortly."

Dimitri ended the call. His heartbeat quickened. He had been waiting so long to see them again. He set aside the book he had been reading and left his room. Dimitri's room was across the estate from Rose and Ivan's rooms. Rose and Ivan's rooms were two floors apart on opposite ends of the same side of the building. The walk took a few minutes.

When Dimitri approached Ivan's room, he saw Lissa and Christian sitting on a nearby bench. They greeted him. Dimitri caught an edge of anxiety in Lissa's bearing, though he couldn't determine a cause.

"Is everything alright?" Dimitri asked her.

"Yeah, everything is fine. They're waiting for you."

Dimitri raised an eyebrow. Lissa's tone of voice was strained. Christian also gave her a questioning look, but she didn't meet his gaze.

Dimitri drew in a deep breath. Maybe she was just anxious for this meeting to go well? He nodded and rapped lightly on the door. The door was open a crack, and the voices of Rose and Ivan told him to come in.

Rose was standing near the window, back against the wall. Ivan was seated on the bed. They exchanged glances with each other before looking at him. Dimitri could see how guarded they were. Dimitri closed the door and stood along the wall a few feet away from the bed.

"It's good to see both of you again," Dimitri said.

They both gave him thin, tight smiles.

Ivan replied first. "It's good to see you, too. I'm sorry for avoiding you the past few days. I needed time alone. They've told me how much you did to find me. Thank you."

Dimitri gave him a small smile. "You brought me back to life once. I owed you peace, in whatever form I could give it to you." He hesitated. "I'm sorry if being restored wasn't what you wanted."

Ivan gave a short, wry laugh. "You're too noble for you own good sometimes."

Dimitri's thoughts turned inward to things he'd rather forget. He had almost kissed Tasha while lost in Ivan's memories. They hadn't kissed, bit if they had, would they have stopped? That would hardly have been noble or right. And there was Sveta, who had stood beside Dimitri for two months without complaint while he relied on her for support and distraction. He had been selfish with her, disregarding any thought to her emotions, even as she left. What would Ivan and Rose think if they knew what he had done? He needed to tell them. Maybe they wouldn't care, given that they had been Strigoi at the time.

Dimitri said nothing.

Ivan shook his head, looking at Dimitri with an unreadable expression. "I am still coming to terms with the fact that a few days ago I was a monster." He looked at Rose. "She made me promise not to give up. Crazy as it sounds, she forgives me for awa… turning her." He looked back at Dimitri. "I am grateful for a second chance at life. At the moment, I am still learning how to move past months of murdering innocent people."

"It will take time," Dimitri said.

"Everyone keeps telling us that," Rose replied. "But you know, I was never good with patience."

Rose was giving Dimitri a crooked smile. He chuckled, relieved to hear her voice and see her smile. "No, you never were."

"I'm surprised that you wanted to see me together." It was as if they were protecting each other. Dimitri supposed it made sense, they had been through a lot together. They were the only two people in the world, outside of the mystery woman Robert Doru had restored, who knew what it was like to be a restored Strigoi.

Rose and Ivan exchanged a look. Rose drew a breath and nodded. "We um… we wanted to talk to you about some things that happened. We wanted to tell you the facts so that you can decide what you want to do next."

Dimitri arched an eyebrow. "Want to do next?"

"A lot happened when we were Strigoi," Ivan continued. "We killed. We stalked friends. We planned to turn you and the Dragomirs."

"None of us hold those things against either of you."

"We know that," said Rose. "We know that everyone forgives us for the killing and stalking. I still don't understand why, but we understand that everyone forgives us for killing."

Rose looked at Ivan, eyes pleading. Ivan tried to look toward Dimitri but failed. Dimitri looked between the two, a sinking feeling in his gut.

"What else happened?"

Ivan tried looking up but still couldn't meet Dimitri's eyes. "Strigoi are more alive than dead. They breathe, though they don't need oxygen the way living people do. Their hearts beat, always at a steady rhythm. The blood they drink keeps them functioning in many ways."

Ivan's scientific analysis of Strigoi, while fascinating, confused Dimitri. Why bring up these details?

Ivan drew a deep breath. "I discovered shortly after being turned that Strigoi are capable of being aroused. Strigoi can and do have sex."

Rose was now staring at the floor, hair hiding her face. And a spark of understanding flashed in Dimitri's mind. He pushed the thought away. He didn't want the thought to be true. He felt cold. The room fell silent.

Ivan spoke again. "After turning Rose, we formed a sort of alliance. It was tenuous at best. She tried to stake me the moment she awoke as a Strigoi."

Rose snorted a dark laugh. "Stupid stakes."

"You tried to stake Ivan after he turned you?"

"Yeah." She looked up, eyes watery. "I was stronger than him from the start. I still had my stake, and tried to use it on him, but it burned me."

"Then you kept using it, later," Dimitri said.

"Yeah … I wanted to be unique."

"You have always been unique."

Rose gave a half-hearted shrug. "Being unique as a Strigoi isn't much to be proud of."

"No, I suppose not." Dimitri drew a deep breath, realizing that neither Ivan nor Rose wanted to tell him what they were dancing around. "What aren't you telling me?"

Ivan gave him a weary look. "We were involved, physically."

Dimitri's mind stopped working, gears grinding to a halt. No. It couldn't be true. They wouldn't. They couldn't. But the anguish on Rose's face, and the guilt on Ivan's, told a story so clear that Dimitri couldn't ignore it.

"Why?" Dimitri whispered through the tightness of his throat.

They blinked at him. Out of all the anticipated possible responses a simple, pained "why" was unexpected.

"I wanted him to trust me," said Rose. "I was faster and stronger than him from the start. I needed him in order to stay alive. I needed his resources and knowledge. I needed his alliance in order to turn you and Lissa and her family."

A chill ran up Dimitri's spine.

Ivan continued. "She wanted to kill me. I considered killing her, but she was useful."

Dimitri swallowed the lump in his throat. "You…" He could barely bring himself to form words. "You were physically involved … as a bargaining chip?"

They nodded slowly in agreement.

Dimitri stared at them in horror. "And now? Do you plan to continue?"

They answered without hesitation. "No."

"You don't understand," Rose said. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. "It was horrible. Strigoi don't love. They don't understand fondness. There is only desire to control, to have power. People are either useful or not. Sex was a tool. There was pleasure, I guess, but no love or desire."

Ivan continued. "Rose and I care for one another, but the idea of touching her like that … Dimitri, you know that I never saw her as anything more than a friend while a Moroi. You saw my thoughts. You felt my emotions. I see Rose as a friend now, one with whom I shared a nightmare. I don't desire her. I don't desire anything right now. But I will never want to touch her intimately again. I want to forget it ever happened."

Rose nodded her agreement. "But we owed you the truth, and I figured we might as well tell you now instead of waiting."

Dimitri looked at both of them. Ivan's guilt and Rose's pain were obvious. Of anyone in the world, Dimitri had known Ivan the best. He had known Ivan's innermost thoughts and feelings, more than anyone else ever could. He had also known Rose, loved Rose. And no matter what, Dimitri loved them both even now. He had spent months of his life on this quest to bring them back, and that was still his plan.

"I want to talk to both of you separately," Dimitri said after a long silence. "Rose, I want to speak with you second."

"Fine," she breathed. Her brokenness and pain were hard for Dimitri to watch. He wanted to go to her, even as she brushed past him and left the room.

* * *

Ivan stood, also watching as Rose left the room. He saw the utter weariness in Dimitri's posture. That wearniess was in Ivan too, though perhaps it was a different flavor of weariness. "Why did you want to talk to me first?"

Dimitri answered in a quiet and detached tone, not looking at Ivan yet. "You weren't drinking blood. Lissa told me that you drank from Rose yesterday."

It took some time for Ivan to respond. "You have no idea what it's like for me to drink blood. I don't remember what it was like before. I can't remember the self restraint which held back the desire to consume another's life essence. Every Moroi child is taught what is and isn't appropriate for feeding … We're taught so young that it becomes second nature. But that nature was stolen from me. I'm trying to remember. Rose doesn't want me to die, but she understands my fear. What if I drain someone? After all, that's what I did for months. I devoured people. There were one or two who I ensnared with bites, but most I killed. It would be a terrible thing to rip out the throat of a feeder."

Ivan made a disgusted sound low in his throat. Dimitri was watching him now. "She asked me if I would kill her again, and I wouldn't. I would never hurt her again. So she helped me."

"Have you gone to the feeders today?"

No, he hadn't. Ivan grimaced. "Not yet. I can wait a day or two. It's not like that's what you want to talk about, anyway." The last was spoken with bitterness, deflecting away from his own troubles.

"Isn't it?" Dimitri shook his head and slumped into the chair. "I was bound to you for years after you saved my life. I left Rose after you died in order to find a way to bring you peace. And now that you're restored, you don't think that I care if you starve to death or not?"

There was truth in that, Ivan knew. But he expected something different from Dimitri, some emotion beyond the same empty despair he felt. "I'm not going to starve. I promised Rose that I will fight through this. She doesn't want to be the only person in the world who has to deal with the knowledge of what we've done. I owe her that much at least. I did kill her."

Dimitri put his face in his hands and dug his nails into his scalp. The pain of it was easier than the pain of his emotions. There were too many thoughts and feelings tumbling around inside him. He looked up when Ivan spoke.

"How long did you know that it was possible to restore Strigoi?" Ivan asked.

An easy topic, a safe one. "Oksana and Mark told me in March or April. The other spirit users had figured out everything except the staking itself by June."

"Rose knew?"

Dimitri nodded.

"She never even alluded to it. If she had … I think things would have gone differently. As it is, only luck kept both of us alive. Rose nearly got herself killed more than once. Of course, that reckless streak is why we're both here now." Ivan shifted, moving weight from one foot to the other, then looked toward the window. "Where's Brandon?" He looked back at Dimitri and saw the answer. _Dead_. "When?"

Dimitri swallowed the lump in his throat. "He died in the attack on the school. Celeste died in the caves. Their ghosts are still around when I look. So is Rose's friend Meredith. She also died in the first attack."

Ivan closed his eyes. "Along with me."

"I felt it. I remember it. I was in your head as you died."

Shaking his head, Ivan shuddered. "I can't remember it. I remember being outside … nothing else. My first memories as a Strigoi were of running, then the caves … and _her_."

"Her?"

The idea of her name was enough to send a chill through Ivan. Everything about her was terrifying. "Sofia."

"The reports you two wrote mentioned that name."

"She recruited me." Ivan shuddered. "She's also my cousin. Did I write that down? I'm descended from her uncle."

Stiffening rather abruptly, Ivan narrowed his eyes at Dimitri. "What did you want to talk about? Surely not the things you read in my statement."

A hundred answers and none were on the tip of Dimitri's tongue. He wanted his friend back. He wanted this nightmare of a year to be over and for everything to be normal again. But he didn't even know where normal was anymore.

Dimitri stood up quickly, knocking the chair against the wall. He paced toward the door, away from Ivan. Then he slammed his fist into the wall. The pain was marvelous release.

Ivan flinched and moved a step back, though they were across the room from one another. And he felt something again, compassion for his friend.

"I want the people I love to be okay," Dimitri said finally. He looked at Ivan, eyes bright though his tears didn't fall. "I gave my life for your protection. I would have killed you to bring you peace if it came to that. But I learned that I could save you. And all the while I kept forgetting what you and Brandon had told me about living. I lost her."

Dimitri closed his fists, breathing heavily from pain that was both physical and emotional. "Was it selfish of me to want you alive again? Should I have killed you?"

Ivan didn't answer right away. "Rose is trying to convince me, and probably herself, that we can do good with everything we learned about Strigoi. If we can do good, then perhaps it's worthwhile that I'm alive again."

With a weary exhalation, Dimitri rested his back against the wall. He winced at the pain in his hand.

"You want to know the worst part," Ivan said in a whisper. Dimitri met his gaze and waited. "I was a healer. That's what I did. It was one of my best abilities with spirit. I went from being a healer to a murderer."

"Maybe you can learn to heal again?" Dimitri said, just as quietly.

Somewhere inside, Ivan could feel the well of spirit's energy. It was a sleepy thing, deep beneath the layers of his well of grief and despair. But he could see Dimitri's physical pain and knew how to fix it.

"I could, perhaps."

Ivan slowly crossed the room to Dimitri and held out his hand. Tentatively, Dimitri held out his injured hand, which Ivan grasped. And the magic of spirit flowed from Ivan into Dimitri. It was warm and golden, full of life and hope.

They both had looks of tentative but hopeful satisfaction. Then Dimitri grasped Ivan's hand hard in his own, his face taking on a darker countenance. "Don't feed from Rose again."

Ivan very nearly rolled his eyes. "I have no interest in addicting her to it. I messed her up enough as it is. I have no interests in her aside from friendship."

Their gazes held for several long minutes before Dimitri, then Ivan, nodded in acknowledgment. Then they released hands and embraced. Soon, they let go and took seats, ready to talk again as friends.

* * *

Rose found her way outside, away from everyone. The air was cool, but she warmed up with a run. Her father's mansion had a track around the perimeter of the main building. Eddie had walked it with her twice since her restoration. She knew that there were guardians, or rather, people in her father's employment, who were watching the track and gardens around the estate. The only place there wasn't surveillance was in the bedrooms and bathrooms. Much as she longed for privacy at that moment, Rose was tired of being in her room.

She ran the track twice. She loved feeling her muscles move. She loved feeling her heart race. She loved the feeling of sweat sliding down her skin. When she stopped running, near the side entrance to the kitchen, she loved the slight burning sensation in her throat and lungs. She was alive, and every sensation was at once familiar and brand new.

Rose entered the door code into the keypad and slipped inside. There was a pantry just inside the entrance where bulk items were kept. She grabbed two bottles of water and slipped back outside. She made her way to one of the gardens, settling herself on a bench. She stretched her legs, arms, and back as she rested.

When she was finally settled physically, she allowed herself to think. Dimitri knew the truth now. He would talk to her later, and then she would know his thoughts. She tried to think about the future. She tried to consider what she might want out of life.

Rose was the only person alive who could claim to have died twice. After a few days of being alive again, she had decided that she didn't want to wallow in her misery. She was only eighteen. She wanted to experience life. She wanted to see the world. She wanted to savor every moment. She didn't want to be a guardian again. She didn't know what she would do. She had been trained to be a personal bodyguard and a killer, nothing else.

Rose looked around the gardens and up at the massive house. She thought about the vast wealth her father must have. Janine had said that Abe wanted to talk with Rose when she was ready. Rose hadn't been ready to see many people yet. Perhaps tomorrow she would have a conversation with her father.

Rose shivered a little. The October air was chilly, and the sweat of her run had dampened her shirt. She should go inside soon, but she was enjoying her solitude. She was enjoying the feeling of cold on her skin. Being a Strigoi had caused temperature variation to be of little interest.

Dimitri found her there. She was watching the world. Birds flittered among green, yellow, orange, and red leaves. Squirrels and rabbits darted around the lawn.

"You look very peaceful," Dimitri said.

She looked at him, keeping her expression completely neutral. "It's very peaceful here. If I watch nature, I can forget for a little while all the horror I have seen and all the pain I have caused. I can pretend that I am just an eighteen-year-old girl who is a few months out of high school, resting at my father's house."

Smiling, he took a seat near her. "Most of that is true. I'm glad that you can find some peace."

Rose looked at him, shrugging slightly. "It's not easy. How did you find me?"

"I asked surveillance."

"Of course you did. Did you yell at Ivan?"

"Not really. We needed to talk about a lot of things. I assume you and Lissa had some serious conversations too."

"Yeah, we did. She and my mom have been hovering over me all the time. I never knew my mom could be so overprotective."

He chuckled. "I would have thought you realized that after you ran off to Spokane."

"True."

Dimitri drew a deep breath, regarding her soberly. "Ivan and I are friends again. He's talking to Tasha now."

"That should be interesting. She never asked to see him. They told me that you asked to see both of us."

"That's true," he agreed quietly. "This has been very hard on her. I think it's been harder for her than for most of us. Your parents being an exception. I can't imagine ..." His words trailed off.

She swallowed hard, looking down at her hands. Rose didn't want to imagine what her mother had felt upon learning that she had been turned. Her thoughts swiftly turned to all the parents who had lost a child because of her. She forced herself to draw slow breaths as she fought to remain in the present.

"Rose? Are you okay?" Dimitri reached toward her in concern, but he didn't touch her. His fingers stilled an inch above her skin.

She pulled back and looked at him, pain and anger showing on her face. "No."

Dimitri dropped his hand, letting it fall to his lap. "I'm sorry if this wasn't what you wanted."

"What I want stopped mattering a long time ago." Her voice was hushed, filled with a world of heartache. "I'm making promises to myself that I'll live and do something worthwhile this time … but every time I close my eyes I see the people I killed. Or I hear their screams and cries. I know the taste of blood more than the taste of food. I know the smell of death."

She tilted her face upward, searching the evening sky for something she couldn't name. "I can't imagine what it was like for my parents to know I was turned. Or imagine what it was like for you. But I also can't imagine what life is like for the families who will never see someone they love because I killed that person. I murdered so many people! I can't even remember most of their faces. I have no idea if the first person I killed was a man or a woman, young or old. I know that I killed children."

She turned to look at him again, eyes brimming with tears again. She saw the compassion in his face and wanted to scream. "I wanted to turn you. Ivan and I both liked the idea of it. Of course, we also wanted to kill each other, too. My fatal flaw as a Strigoi was boredom. I didn't care about immortality. I cared about indulging my whims … which I did. I know I'm not that monster anymore, but we're reflections of one another … me and my monster self."

She stood and paced in a small circle. He sat, watching her. After a minute or two of pacing and breathing deeply, Rose calmed and turned back to Dimitri.

"What do you want to talk about?" Her voice was remarkably calm and level.

He looked around, then stood. "I just want to talk to you. I miss you. I miss the sound of your voice."

Rose wrapped her arms around herself and nodded.

He nodded toward the house. "Do you want to go inside? It's getting cold. Plus, I don't want anyone to overhear us."

Eyes narrowing, Rose nodded wearily. "Sure, we can talk in my room."

They walked in uncomfortable silence to Rose's room. Inside, she took a seat on the bed, and he sat on the chair.

Rose looked at her hands and sighed deeply. Her voice was lifeless and empty. "So, is this the part where you tell me that we should just be friends?"

Dimitri's mouth dropped open in shock. "No, that wasn't my intention at all."

"Oh?"

Dimitri rested his hands on his thighs. His hair fell forward, framing his face. Rose watched him warily. She realized then that he too was guarded, pained.

"Rose, I have some things to tell you. After you disappeared, I was panicked. When your letter arrived … I … I found myself in a very dark place. Svetlana was there. She supported me through it, but she left eventually."

"Why?" Rose asked curiously.

Dimitri met her eyes. "Why what?"

"Why did she leave?"

He gave a short, bitter laugh. "Because I was using her as a crutch. She couldn't do it, and it wasn't fair to her. She also didn't want to see me destroy myself if we failed to restore you and Ivan. She had no reason to stay after the research finished."

"The research is done?"

Dimitri was surprised. "No one told you yet?"

Rose shook her head. "No, I really don't know anything that's happened recently."

So Dimitri told Rose about everything the researchers had found, and about the new laws that were being passed and discussed. She listened attentively, excitedly. For a few minutes, it was clear that Rose's thoughts were only fixed on Dimitri's words.

"And Adrian is my cousin," Dimitri said as an afterthought.

"What?"

Dimitri laughed. "My cousin. I'm the queen's great-nephew, just like he is. She hasn't said anything about it, but Adrian has, apparently."

Rose shook her head in amazement. "Wow." She bit her lip in thought, eyes searching Dimitri's face. "Earlier you mentioned that Svetlana left because she didn't want to see you destroy yourself. What does that mean?"

He didn't answer at first, but he also didn't look away. "She thought that if both you and Ivan died, then I would put myself in increasingly dangerous situations until it killed me."

Ice settled in Rose's veins at the thought. She swallowed, then licked her dry lips. "Would you have done that?"

"I don't know," he answered truthfully. "I drank myself into a blackout after we found out what had happened to you. I started driving too fast along the roads near court just to feel something. I want to believe that I wouldn't have tried to get myself killed if things went differently, but I'm not sure."

Rose nodded, taking in his words with a detached calm. "Did you sleep with her?"

"No. I kissed her the day she told me that she was leaving. Other than that, we had no physical contact."

Surprise registered on her face, but she gave a brief nod at his words.

Dimitri was considering her with a thoughtful expression. "In the spring, when we weren't together, did anything happen between you and Mason?"

She paled, eyes going wide. Her words tumbled out quickly, anxiously. "No, not really. Well, not in the way you might think. After he came back, both of us had trouble sleeping. So we would talk sometimes when everyone was asleep. He had staff access, and we were both eighteen, and I was alone on my floor, so no one knew. And sometimes we would just hold each other until the nightmares stopped. We slept like that sometimes, fighting the nightmares together. I think around prom I knew he was interested in me again, but he never said anything, and I wanted you. Nothing else. I would have told you when we got together again, but I was so worried that you would leave me … What made you ask?"

Dimitri accepted her response graciously. "A comment Eddie made once. It's okay, Roza. I understand. It's in the past."

And worse had happened since, but neither of them said that thought.

Then Dimitri told Rose about Tasha. That they had gone dancing one day in spring. That Ivan's memories inside Dimitri's head were sometimes confusing and invasive. And that he had, for a brief moment, wanted Tasha because she was familiar to him. But nothing had happened, and they had both wanted to forget that moment.

Rose listened patiently, quietly. It was unlike the person she had been before. But she was not that person anymore. She did understand the confusion of having memories and feelings that were not her own. And she had just confessed to her time spent with Mason and earlier to the basic facts of what she and Ivan had done. Dimitri's confessions seemed small in comparison.

"Did you tell Ivan that?" she asked when he finished.

"Yes."

They were both quiet then, processing everything that had been said.

"What happens next?" Rose asked. It was an easier question than the one part of her wanted answered. She wanted to know where they stood, but she wasn't even sure what she desired. Did she desire anything?

Dimitri's eyes were kind, hopeful. "Now, we heal. I want a future with you, but I think we both need time to adjust."

She nodded slowly in agreement. "Are you sure that you still want that future, after everything I've done?"

Dimitri held out a hand to her. She hesitated a moment before putting her hand in his. He squeezed her hand and didn't let go.

"I love you, Rose. Nothing you did as a Strigoi, and nothing you did when we weren't together, changes how I feel about you. I will love you forever. And when you and I are ready, I want us to be together again."

Rose bit her lip, unable to speak. Tears blinded her again, full of disparate emotions. But in them was joy, elation. She felt him stand, and stood when he tugged at her hand.

Warm arms encircled her when he dropped her hand. She pressed close to his chest, remembering the comfort of his body and scent as it enveloped her. Her arms slowly moved to encircle his waist. They held one another close, saying nothing, simply resting in that embrace.

And when they let go, they held hands again, looking into each other's eyes.

"I'm not ready for anything more," Rose said, voice tight with emotion. "I don't know when I'll be healed or okay. But I do know that when I'm doing better, I want us to try again."

He squeezed her hands. "We have time."

"Except when we don't."

He let go of one hand to smooth stray locks of her hair. "I won't leave you unless you want me to. Nothing else matters. Not my career or my reputation. I would give everything for you. Right now I'm happy just to hold your hands."

A faint smile finally emerged on her lips. "Thank you." She paused a moment before coming to a decision. "Watch TV with me?"

"That sounds like a good idea."

So, hand in hand, they sat down together on her bed and turned on the television.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thank you for reading, following, and commenting! I'll see you again soon!_


	47. Feed

Ivan sat on the edge of his bed. He should eat, though he had no appetite. Everything in him was drained. All thoughts and emotions had run through and out of him. He wanted to sleep. He wished he could feel something more than empty. Of course, wishing for that was more than he had felt previously, so he seemed to be improving.

Talking to Dimitri had been difficult. Learning that Brandon was dead, and had been dead for months, was painful. But talking to Tasha again had been agony. At least he had felt more than nothingness.

He remembered the idea of love. Seeing Tasha again reminded Ivan that he had, in fact, loved her. Maybe something in him still did, but it wasn't easy to feel or remember.

Ivan and Tasha wanted to talk, needed to talk. But when Tasha entered the room, they found nothing to say. In silence they studied one another — silence like never before. When had they last seen one another? Had it been February or March? Neither remembered. It should only have been a short parting. There had been a phone call on the day Ivan was turned. They would have been married now if everything had gone as planned. So many broken dreams.

When they finally spoke, it was slow and stilted. What did they have to say to each other now?

Everything.

Nothing.

"Are you eating?" she asked. It was such a sterile question, something you ask a sick person. Not the first thing you say to your fiancé after they're restored from the dead. Not in that empty tone.

"When I have to," he replied. "I have too many people reminding me that I need to eat."

She nodded, fingers twisting her ring in an unconscious gesture. "They said you weren't eating. Well, they said that you weren't drinking blood."

"I find that blood is a complicated matter for me now. I'm trying."

Tasha closed her eyes and let out a long breath through her nose. She had been shifting on her feet, but finally stood still. "I'm glad, glad that you're trying. I … I'm glad that you're back."

He waited a beat before responding. That she still wore his ring gave him a sense of peace which he hadn't expected. She still loved him enough to wear that ring. "I wondered if you were going to come at all."

"I need time to think. I need time to know how I feel."

His heart squeezed at those words. Even if the words were true, and he felt the same way, he didn't want to hear them. "I understand."

"I still love you." She swallowed visibly. "But I don't know if I can handle what happened."

"You read the reports?" he asked. There was no way Tasha could have known about the conversations Ivan had just had with Dimitri and Rose. This was about him having been a Strigoi. About him having been the same sort of monster her brother had become. Tasha's brother, who had taken a bite out of her face, leaving a permanent mark.

"Yes, and I remember the letter back in August. I did burn it, just like you knew I would."

"I'm sorry."

"I forgive you, and while I know it wasn't really you, I can't forget it either. I didn't believe this would work. I thought you'd die. I didn't want that." Tasha's voice broke. She drew a shaking breath before continuing. "I don't know what I want. I feel like part of my life stopped when you were turned. Now that you're back, I don't know how to start life again."

"Neither do I," he said simply.

"I still need time." She let out a frustrated sound. "When did I become such a coward?"

Ivan looked at her with gentle fondness. "You're the bravest person I've ever met."

Tasha's chin trembled. She pressed her lips together to control the tremor.

"You could have stayed at Court," he continued. "Instead, you were in the house. You fought."

"I had to. I couldn't have faced myself if I had stayed behind. I needed to see this insane plan through to the end." She paced a few steps, arms wrapping around herself. "I don't know what happens now. I don't have any plans or goals. Things are getting better for our people. Laws are changing. Christian is an adult, making his own decisions. And I..."

"I don't know what I'm doing next, either." He sat on the bed, watching her. Watching all the emotions crossing her face. She looked as lost as he felt. "Do you want us to be together again?"

She looked at him, blinking back tears. "I don't know."

His eyes fell to her left hand where she wore the engagement ring. She saw his gaze and covered the ring with the fingers of her right hand. He saw the struggle on her face. The pain and confusion warring just beneath the surface. She was breathing harder as she closed her eyes and tugged gently. The ring slid off her finger. She closed the fingers of her right hand around it and squeezed.

"I love you." Emotion coated her words. "But I don't know how to love you in spite of this. Even though I know nothing was your fault. I wish that I could forget what was in the reports. I wish that I didn't remember what you looked like as a Strigoi. I wish that I could see you and not have it remind me of Lucas."

She took a few steps closer and held out her right hand. He forced himself to lift a hand to hers. She pressed the ring into his palm but didn't let go right away. She clasped his hand with both of hers, so he brought his other hand up as well. Their eyes met, and they held that gaze for several long moments, both of them with slowly falling tears.

"I need time," she said for what may have been the hundredth time. "I guess that I shouldn't wear this anymore, not if I don't know what I'm feeling. I don't want to do this, but I need to. I'm sorry."

She tried to pull back, but he held onto her with gentle firmness. "You have nothing to be sorry for," he choked out. "I need time, too."

With a shivering nod, Tasha squeezed Ivan's hands again before being let go. She drew a few calming breaths, eyes falling on where he clutched the ring in his closed fists. "I'll transfer the properties back to you. I don't know what they're doing about getting your identification restored, but when it's all settled, you can have the vineyards back."

It seemed so trivial to him, but he had nothing of his own anymore. Well, almost nothing. He was fairly certain that some funds and properties that he had acquired as a Strigoi were still his, not that he wanted anything bought with blood. "If that's what you want."

"It's the right thing." A bitter smile twisted her lips. "I'll get ahold of you when I'm ready to talk."

Then she left, and Ivan still sat on the bed, one hand wrapped tight around the engagement ring.

* * *

Dimitri watched the steady rise and fall of Rose's body as she slept. She was warm and alive, and for now that was enough. She had fallen asleep against him as they watched a movie. Now her head rested on his lap while she remained in dreamland. Occasionally, she whimpered in her sleep, causing his heart to twist in agony.

He hated her pain. What he wouldn't give to take away her nightmares.

It was only now, in the stillness, that Dimitri began to process everything Ivan and Rose had told him. Under normal circumstances, he would have been jealous and angry about their confessions.

But things weren't normal. They had been Strigoi, undead monsters who murdered for fun. He found that there was nothing to forgive, though he did wish to forget. He wanted to push the images of what they had done from his mind until the ideas no longer existed. He wondered what that meant about him. Maybe it meant nothing at all. Maybe it meant something.

If he loved her, shouldn't he be able to handle her confessions?

And he did love her.

Maybe he didn't need to do more than listen to her. Everything about being a Strigoi was so far beyond him. He suspected that the horror of it went beyond anything Rose or Ivan could put into words. And the things they had said chilled him.

Training his entire life to fight and kill Strigoi had not prepared him to learn what being a Strigoi was like. To hear about it from the lips of his former bond mate and the woman he loved had been more than Dimitri could absorb. The horror of hearing how they thought as Strigoi was heartbreaking and sickening. He was amazed that they were beginning to recover so soon.

Rose cried out but didn't wake. Dimitri stroked her hair, hoping that it would soothe her. She soon stilled again and remained asleep. He was glad that she was sleeping. Rose had barely slept since being restored. He suspected that she was asleep now largely because she was exhausted.

His fingers stayed in her hair as his hand stroked slow circles on her back. He studied her face, though he couldn't see much from his angle. He could see the curve of her cheek, the high arch of her brow, and the line of her nose which was slightly crooked from when Lissa had healed it at the start of the year.

She was real and alive. He still couldn't believe it. The months he had spent without her had been the worst in his life. He would be content to stay like this, knowing that she was safe.

Though he wanted her to be herself again, he knew that she would take a long time to recover. If she ever fully recovered. She had vacillated between bravado and despair in the brief conversations they'd had. He had yet to see her laugh or genuinely smile. He wanted to see her happy again.

He lost track of time as he sat there. Half paying attention to whatever was on TV, he kept checking to make sure she was really there. He wondered what direction their lives would take now. He didn't want to leave her, which might mean the end of his career. Not that he wanted to prioritize his career anymore. He would go with her wherever it might lead.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. Rose didn't stir, even when Dimitri called for the person to enter. Lissa came in, her face lined with worry. The worry smoothed away to a soft happiness as she looked at Rose. The worry returned as she shifted her focus to Dimitri.

"Did you check your phone?"

"No. I put it to silent when we started watching a movie." He reached for his phone, which rested on the bedside table. There were a couple missed messages. He arched an eyebrow at Lissa. "What happened?"

"Tasha left."

"What?" He sat a bit straighter, which made Rose mumble and curl closer to his leg. "What do you mean, she left?"

Lissa took a few steps closer, keeping her anxious tone hushed. "She packed a bag and drove back to Court. She didn't even tell Christian until she was halfway there. Christian's talking to Ivan now. I guess it didn't go well between Ivan and Tasha."

"So it would seem." Dimitri glanced at the messages on his phone. A few were from Tasha, and others were from Christian and Lissa. "Did she get to Court?"

"Yes. She's safe." Lissa shook her head in annoyance. "I can't believe she just left at night."

"She lived for years without a guardian. Believe me, she's been outside at night alone. She can handle herself."

Lissa pressed her lips together in a tight line. "I know, but after everything we've been through lately … She could have said something or gone during the day."

"It's okay, Liss," Rose mumbled. She shifted her head so that she could somewhat see Lissa through the tangle of her hair. Her voice was rough from sleep. "We're all okay now."

"Oh!" Lissa moved closer to the bed so that she was in front of Rose. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Rose shrugged a shoulder and moved hair away from her face as she yawned. "I didn't mean to sleep."

"You need it though," Lissa said. "How are you?"

The thinnest smile crossed Rose's lips. "Better than earlier."

Dimitri ran a hand across Rose's back. She visibly relaxed at the gesture. With his other hand Dimitri read through his text messages. "Tasha apologized for worrying us and said that she needs time and space." He also saw that Tasha was offering to let him be someone else's guardian now that they'd restored Ivan. He put his phone aside, knowing that such issues could wait.

"She still could have said something," Lissa insisted. "Christian was really worried."

Rose sat up and held out a hand to Lissa, which the other girl accepted. "It's okay, Liss. It probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but …" she shrugged. "She was going to go back to Court eventually. It's not like we're going to stay here forever."

"I know."

Rose squeezed Lissa's hand. She started to say something and stopped more than once. "Do you want to get food?"

"Sure," Lissa said with a soft laugh.

Rose looked at Dimitri. "I think I'm ready to eat with everyone. Although I don't know if it's time for everyone to eat. We should also make sure Ivan's getting blood."

Dimitri laughed. "We can get food if you're hungry, and we can see who else wants to join. And we can check on Ivan on the way to the kitchen."

"Thank you," Rose said, giving him a faint smile. She stretched before sliding off the bed.

Rose was dressed except for shoes, which she found and slipped on. She grabbed a brush and rain it through her hair while Dimitri got up and put on his own shoes. Lissa watched them fondly, her own fears subsiding for a moment.

"Are you guys okay?" Lissa asked.

Rose and Dimitri exchanged a look of soft affection.

"We need time," Rose said, "but we'll figure it out."

Dimitri took her hand and squeezed. "We will," he agreed.

The smile Lissa gave them was warm and full of joy. "I'm glad. You guys deserve a happy ending."

"Everyone does, Liss," Rose said. But her tone was sad.

* * *

"I can't believe my aunt just left," Christian was saying. "I know this has been hard on her, but …"

"She needed her distance," Ivan said. "And she's always done things her own way."

"I know that. Sorry, I didn't want to worry you more. You have enough on your mind."

Ivan almost smiled. "I can use time away from the things on my mind. You haven't told me how you've been."

Christian sat on the chair in Ivan's room. "I've been okay. Finished school. Travelled a bit. Did research for a project Lissa's dad was running. Then … well, we started looking for a way to restore you. I'm glad you're back."

"You know, even if things don't work with Tasha and me, I'm still your uncle. If you want."

"Of course I do." Christian smiled. "Though I'm still hoping things work out for you two. I've never seen her happier than when she was with you."

"We both have a lot to process right now." Ivan was resigned. "If we have a future together, it won't start soon."

Christian made a sound of acknowledgment. "Yeah. Do you want to eat? I haven't been to the feeders yet."

A wry expression touched Ivan's face. Christian was clever in his choice of words. Ivan needed to eat, and he needed to leave the room. And he wanted to spend more time with Christian. So accompanying Christian was the obvious answer.

"We can go," he said reluctantly. "I need to eat. Though I must confess that I'm still uncomfortable with it."

Christian grimaced. "Yeah, I get that."

Ivan stood, giving in at last to what he needed to do. "Lead the way."

They walked through the halls, meeting up with Lissa, Dimitri, and Rose along the way. Ivan was relieved that there was no tension between Dimitri and Rose. Whatever their conversation had entailed, it appeared to have gone better than Ivan's meeting with Tasha.

Chrtistian and Ivan split from the others near the kitchen. They entered what looked like a small apartment where four humans were currently playing a card game while the television was on in the background. The humans looked toward them, more alert than the typical feeders Ivan remembered.

Ivan arched an eyebrow at Christian, who grinned back.

"Abe wants all of his workers to be alert and useful, even the humans," said Christian. "They're kinda cool if you get to know them."

Christian quickly introduced Ivan to the four humans, three male and one female. It was an unusual sensation for Ivan, meeting these humans. He knew that before being turned, he scarcely would have paid attention to the human feeders. Now, he needed to know. He had killed too many humans not to care. Not to mention that he had recruited the brother of a feeder as a minion. So he asked them how they had come to work at the estate.

Their stories were varied, but each of them had survived some rather harrowing events, which had brought them to the attention of Abe Mazur. He had hired them into his staff. The woman was one of the gardeners. One of the men worked in the kitchen, one worked with the cars, and the other helped maintain the building. There were other humans on staff as well, and most of them were also feeders.

The entire concept was unusual to Ivan, but he liked it. He liked that these humans were more than feeders. He suspected that they were also more than just hired workers. Given what Ivan remembered about Abe Mazur's reputation, he thought that these humans acted as spies for their employer. After all, no one in the Moroi world gave feeders a second thought. So many Moroi and guardians spoke too freely around the humans. It was a weakness Ivan had exploited.

The kitchen worker was the one Ivan chose. He was in his 30s or 40s, with a strong build. Maybe that was the appeal to Ivan, someone he couldn't easily overpower. Though he could compel if he wanted, which he didn't want to do, but it was possible.

He wished he could forget all the ways he knew to kill a person.

They walked a short distance to another room with a mini fridge, table, and chairs. The idea of feeding made Ivan's blood run cold. He hadn't hurt Rose yesterday, but that had given him little confidence that he wouldn't hurt someone else. He wouldn't hurt Rose because he felt a confused jumble of things for her: guilt, friendship, commiseration, and protectiveness being chief among them.

The human sat in one of the chairs. Ivan sat beside him. He wanted and needed to feed, but he couldn't stay calm. The human observed, but said nothing.

"Feeding was so simple before," Ivan said, more for himself than for the man. "Now … well it's not that easy."

"You're the one who was a Strigoi?"

Ivan grimaced. "Yeah."

"Well, as long as you don't rip my throat out, we're good."

At that, Ivan let out a soft bitter huff. "I won't." It was a promise to himself and to this human.

Drawing up his courage, Ivan moved to the man and bit his neck. The conflicting memories waged war in his mind as he drank deep. But he wasn't starving, not like when he had drunk from Rose. And he had no desire to kill — the idea of it repelled him. Ivan stopped feeding and breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 _Thank you so much for reading and for your patience. I've been going through a lot of stress and life related stuff that's made it hard to write lately. And I'll be back in my grad program in January, plus my internship starts, plus work. I'm still going to write. I just don't know how all of the life stuff is gonna flow yet. About 6 chapters left! I hope to get them done soon and post them for you! I love this story and have loved going on this journey with you, so I hope you can stick around even though there will be delays._

 _I'm sorry for not replying to your wonderful comments. I normally love responding to all of you. I do love reading everything you write. Life's just been a bit much lately. (Honestly it's mostly me stressing out about my internship beforehand... but it's still taking up most of my mental energy.)_


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